THE FIGHT OCTOBER 2012 by MARK ARIEL

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THECONTENTS COVER STORIES AND FEATURES

17 TRUE COLORS Youth Support In Los Angeles

18 EX-GAY THERAPY BANNED Gov Does The Right Thing

22 DEPORTATION RELIEF Good News For Bi-National Couples 23 FEAR STOPS HERE Dealing With Bullies

24 BELLI UP Drag Race Contestant Willam Belli 28 CLAIMING YOUR IDENTITY National Coming Out Day

34 BECOMING WHO YOU ARE Fitting Into A Straight World 42 RELIGIOUS FREEDOM Church Versus City Hall

THE DEPARTMENTS

THE CONTRIBUTORS Writers In This Issue

THE ROSTOW REPORT Let The Games Begin

THE LETTERS Him So Hot

THE LAW Marvin Actions

THE STATE Fertility Victory

THE CITY Political Endorsements

6 T H E F I GH T | O CT O B ER 2012

THE FAMILY Making Babies

THE EPIDEMIC Tested In WeHo

THE BODY Under Eye Tips

THE CALENDAR Palm Springs Pride

THE MEDIA Nick Gruber, Calvin Klein

THE FINAL FIGHT Orlando Cruz

ON THE COVER PHOTO BY Andrea James

I am a boyfriend, a volunteer, and an artist. And I am living with HIV. TM

Christopher (left) has lived with HIV since 2011.

Get the facts. Get tested. Get involved. www.cdc.gov/ActAgainstAIDS

THEEDITOR

n recognition of National Coming Out Day, Thomas Mondragon writes about “a monumental series of actions and steps toward claiming an identity as gay,” (“Claiming Your Identity,” page 28). “Some say coming out is passé,” says Mondragon, “yet we can see that coming out is actually a powerful mysterious inner call for us to embark on a homosexual myth of meaning and as Walt Whitman states ‘to celebrate the need of comrades’—a path focused not only on our outer experience of living but most importantly, integrated with a psychological relationship to the gay mind and our vast world of feelings—an adventure, waiting to be revealed.” “I learned early on that I was different, and this difference was something to be ashamed of,” writes Henry Campagna (“Becoming Who You Are,” this issue, page 34). Campagna, quoting Friedrich Nietzsche, who once said “You shall become who you are,” writes that he is trying to incorporate this belief in his life. “Slowly,” reveals Campagna, “I have begun to bring myself forward, showing my true self, speaking out, and engaging with others in order to limit the power this fear has had over my life to become fully human. But this has not been easy for me, as I have spent the majority of my life hiding and not wanting to be seen by others. The time has finally come for me to move away from these toxic behaviors and patterns of hiding and secrecy that I learned in my early development to ultimately become who I am.” This issue’s cover model Wllam Belli, says that he is “thankful that it’s so obvious I’m gay,” (“Belli Up,” page 24). “If someone in a crowd at a baseball game makes a homophobic comment and I hear it and don’t say anything, everyone is like ‘why didn’t that gay guy say anything?’ whereas the muscley bartender could easily just blend in and pass as straight and not speak up. It gives me a responsibility, which I don’t mind,” states Belli. And, also in this issue, James Guay explains how “our upbringing is often mired with difficulties in fully embracing our sexuality and identifying as LGBTQ,”(“Ex-Gay Therapy Banned In California,” page 18). “When our peers are developing their own identities in a more supportive atmosphere we have often been overlooked, abused or betrayed in various ways, causing shame,” states Guay. “For those subjected to conversion pseudo-treatment, this shame-based trauma unchecked can take on additional roadblocks to our mental health, relational health and well-being.”

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Stanford Altamirano MANAGING EDITOR Mark Ariel ART DIRECTOR Nadeen Torio MARKETING CONSULTANTS Lisa Radamaker John Michael Gamban Leopold Soares SOCIAL MEDIA Tim Kreslake WEBMASTER Nadeen Torio

GET THE FIGHT AT HOME—FREE OF CHARGE! For a free first class mailed subscription to THE FIGHT (sorry, California residents only) email your address to: mark@thefightmag.com If you would like to offer THE FIGHT at your location, please call (323) 297-4001

PUBLISHER Third Step, Inc. DISTRIBUTION Pride In Media The Fight Magazine is published monthly by Third Step, Inc. 611 South Catalina Street, Suite 307 Los Angeles, CA 90005 Telephone (323) 297-4001 Fax (213) 281-9648 Email info@TheFightMag.com

THE FIGHT MAGAZINE LEGAL CAVEATS By listing in The Fight Magazine, advertisers acknowledge that they do business in the spirit of cooperation, fairness and service, maintaining a high level of integrity and responsibility. Providers of products or services are fully and solely responsible for providing same as advertised. The Fight Magazine assumes no liability for improper or negligent business practices by advertisers. Advertisers and their agencies assume responsibility and liability for the content of their advertisements in The Fight Magazine. Publisher assumes no liability for safe-keeping or return of unsolicited art, manuscripts or other materials. The Fight Magazine reserves the right to edit all material for clarity, length and content. All contents © 2012 Third Step Inc. All rights reserved. Content may be reproduced with permission.

STANFORD ALTAMIRANO Editor-In-Chief

The Fight Magazine assumes no liability for any claims or representations contained anywhere in this magazine and reserves the right to cancel or refuse advertising at publisher’s discretion.

TheFightMag.com For Display Advertising, please call (323) 297-4001

8 T H E F I GH T | O CT O B ER 2012

O CTO B ER 2012 | T H E F I GH T 9

THECONTRIBUTORS ZINNIA JONES Zinnia Jones is an atheist activist, writer, and video blogger focusing on the impact of religious belief, political follies, and LGBTQ rights. Since 2008 her videos have been viewed over 7 million times. You can reach her on Twitter @ Zjemptv. Her YouTube channel is at www. zinniajones.com. DAVID HAKIMFAR Los Angeles based Attorney David Hakimfar received his law degree from Thomas Jefferson School of Law in San Diego. While there, he made the Honor Roll and National Dean’s List. Currently David Hakimfar is a Trial Attorney and Senior Partner of Hakimfar Law, PLC. He can be reached at: 1-888-789-PRIDE (7743).

1 0 T H E F IGH T | O CT O B ER 2012

HENRY CAMPAGNA Henry Campagna recently received a M.A. in Clinical Psychology in the LGBT Specialization at Antioch University Los Angeles (AULA). He presently works as the Program Coordinator for both AULA’s LGBT Specialization and Colors. ANN ROSTOW Ann Rostow writes news analysis columns for THE FIGHT and other gay publications across the country. For weekly LGBT News updates, visit her blog at: annrostow.blogspot.com. Ann can be reached at: arostow@aol.com. DR. GUY RINGLER Dr. Guy Ringler, a board certified physician in both Obstetrics and Gynecology and Reproductive Endocrinology and Infertility at California Fertility Partners,

assists Gay and Lesbian men and women build families through surrogacy and reproductive procedures. For more information call 310-8284008 or visit: www.californiafertilitypartners.com THOMAS MONDRAGON, LMFT West Hollywood based psychotherapist Thomas Mondragon is a professor at Antioch University Los Angeles’ LGBT Specialization in Clinical Psychology, providing students the skills needed for LGBT affirmative psychotherapeutic practice. He can be reached at: (310) 7793113 or via email: tjmondragon@mac.com JAMES GUAY, LMFT James Guay is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist (#mfc39252). He works primarily with individuals and couples interested in embracing their lives anew. For more details about James Guay’s background and specialties visit: www.jamestherapy.com or call 310-405-0840.

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THELETTERS

HIM SO HOT Dear Editor, As someone currently in recovery myself, I appreciated the interview with Dan De Leon (“And The Beat Goes On,” Issue 20). My wake-up call also came when my relationship fell apart because of my drug use. Dan’s openness about his situation is part of what makes him so hot, in my opinion. Keep up with the in-depth profiles in the magazine—it’s one of the reasons why I enjoy THE FIGHT. Thanks. Name Withheld, via the internet 0912_TheFightCoverR1

.indd 1

9/11/12 4:54 PM

HE HAS EVOLVED Dear Editor, It’s good to see Paulo Murillo in the magazine (“The Last House On The Block,” Issue 20). I used to read his columns in fab! [a now defunct Los Angles gay bi-weekly]—and while I enjoyed his writing—I always thought he was a little out of control. Good to see how he has evolved. Also—kudos to Kathy Watt [Van Ness Recovery House Executive Director]. It is inspiring to read about people committed to helping others in the community. Bryan Fields, via the internet

ACQUIRED TRAIT Dear Editor, This is in response to the whack job who wrote that he wants “to help people who are homosexual as well as those who are considering becoming homosexual to choose wisely,” and that is “to choose to be obedient to God instead of a slave to the sin of homosexuality,” (“Into Manhood,” “Letters,” Issue 20). Homosexuality is not a choice, it is something you are born with. However behaving like a dick from the dark ages—that’s definitely an acquired trait. David Bell, Palm Springs

Psychotherapy & Consultation • Create more fulfilling relationships • Feel confident about who you are • Enhance your sense of aliveness • Learn how to be more effective • Reduce your stress

IT’S NOT THAT Dear Editor, I have nothing against your magazine, and it’s not that I don’t like gay people. However I feel that I would be supporting sin if I encouraged the gay lifestyle. I have much concern for your salvation. A lot of people would call me a “Gay Basher” but I’m truly not! Being gay is a sin like any other sin. Everybody sins, even me, but that doesn’t mean that I would promote sin, like your magazine does. I love people in general, and I would love to help someone who is stuck in sin get out and turn towards the Lord. Name Withheld, via the internet

JAMES GUAY, LMFT Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist (#mfc39252) Beverly Hills

310-405-0840

www.LivingMoreFully.com 1 2 T H E F IGH T | O CT O B ER 2012

> WRITE TO THE EDITOR Email: editor@thefightmag.com Fax: (213) 281-9648. Letters may be shortened due to space requirements.

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THESTATE The bill by Assemblyman Tom Ammiano (D-San Francisco) has been controversial, with some conservative activists saying it will discourage adults from volunteering as foster parents. But Ammiano said foster care providers already undergo some training and that the additional requirements would assist them in more effectively helping young people. The bill was also backed by Clarissa Filgioun of the group Equality California, who said it will "help to provide comfort, safety and support to LGBT foster youth."

Assembly member NANcy skiNNer

FERTILITY EQUALITY BILL VICTORY

bill ensuring that single people and same-sex couples will have the same access to fertility services as those provided to opposite-sex couples was signed into law last month by CA Gov. Jerry Brown. With the governor's signature on Assembly Bill 2356, California becomes the first state to take legislative steps to reconcile the inequality faced by single people and same-sex couples who are seeking fertility assistance, reports The Advocate at www.advocate.com. The law removes a barrier that required women seeking artificial insemination from someone who is not an "intimate partner" to have the sperm tested with each new insemination effort, even if the mother had already been exposed to the donor semen from previous insemination attempts. The policy was particularly hard-hitting for single women and same-sex couples, who can now define a "designated donor" who can provide a fresh donation for each insemination attempt, without having the sample frozen for repeated tests that can reduce the likelihood of successful conception. The law will go into effect on January 1, 2013. The National Center for Lesbian Rights and Equality California lobbied in favor of the legislation, which was introduced by Assembly member Nancy Skinner of Berkeley.

SCHWARZENEGGER PERFORMED SAMESEX MARRIAGES

rnold Schwarzenegger, who opposed a California constitutional amendment banning gay marriage,

1 4 T H E F IGH T | O CT O B ER 2012

ArNold schwArzeNegger

officiated at the same-sex nuptials of his chief of staff, Susan Kennedy, in the governor's office, reports CBS News. Schwarzenegger told CBS that Kennedy's ceremony was one of two same-sex marriages he performed as governor during a five-month window in 2008 when gay marriage was legal in California. Schwarzenegger also presided over the marriage of a then-aide and his same-sex partner at the then-governor's Brentwood home. The former bodybuilder said he personally believes marriage should be between a man and a woman.

seNATor mArk leNo

GOV VETOES MULTIPARENT PROTECTION LAW

AssemblymAN Tom AmmiANo

FOSTER PARENTS, CARE GIVERS LGBT TRAINING

ov. Jerry Brown has signed a bill requiring foster parents and other care givers to undergo training in "cultural competency and sensitivity" regarding LGBT youth.

bill that would have provided protections for children with more than two parents was vetoed last month by Gov. Jerry Brown. The governor explained he was sympathetic to the families where this applies but needed more time to consider the issue. The bill, which was authored by state senator Mark Leno would have adjusted a recent California Court of Appeal decision which ruled that courts can never determine that a child has more than two parents, regardless of the situation and even if it would protect the child from harm, according to the National Center for Lesbian Rights. The court did, however, call upon the legislature to address the issue. Leno said the bill could have ensured that "children are not unnecessarily put in the foster care system by allowing judges to recognize the fact that some young people are raised by more than two parents." He added that he would continue to work with the governor to create a solution. n

O CTO B ER 2012 | T H E F I GH T 15

THECITY leaders and Scouts, which they reaffirmed earlier this year after a two-year confidential review of the controversial ban. Andresen’s father resigned as assistant Scoutmaster after it was confirmed that his son wouldn’t receive the award.

in Los Angeles, the gala brings together more than 1,200 LGBT people and their allies for cocktails, dinner and entertainment. For more information, or to purchase your tickets, go to anniversarygala.org or call TAI Events at 310-996-1188. hervey medellin

Assembly speAker John A. peréz

VICTORY FUND POLITICAL ENDORSEMENTS

he Gay & Lesbian Victory Fund has wrapped up endorsements for 2012 elections, bringing the total number of endorsed openly LGBT candidates this year to a record-breaking 175. Among those, 8 candidates are endorsed for U.S. House and Senate races. In addition to the federal candidates, Victory has endorsed 97 state legislative candidates in 30 states, and dozens more at the municipal, county, judicial and school board level. “Whether at the local, state or national level, LGBT officeholders are helping to add significant power to legislative fights to win equality for all Americans. These candidates will make sure that progress continues, and that’s why their victories this year are so important,” said Chuck Wolfe, president and CEO of the Victory Fund. Among those endorsed by the Victory Fund was California Assembly Speaker John A. Peréz. Read more about Victory’s endorsed candidates at victoryfund.org.

GAY TEEN DENIED EAGLE SCOUT AWARD

mother of a California gay teen says her son was denied his Eagle Scout award because of his sexuality. High school senior Ryan Andresen recently completed his Eagle Scout project, which included building a 288-tile wall of tolerance for a middle school in California to comfort victims of bullying, Pleasant Hill Patch reports. However, the 17-year-old’s mom says leaders from Andresen’s Boy Scout troop “won’t approve his Eagle award” because her son is gay. The Boy Scouts of America has a longstanding policy denying membership to gay 1 6 T H E F IGH T | O CT O B ER 2012

megAn rApinoe

HOLLYWOOD MURDER: CENTER TO HONOR OUT PLOT THICKENS OLYMPIAN AT GALA ore than eight months after the

lympic gold medal soccer star Megan Rapinoe - one of the few out athletes at the 2012 Olympic Games-will be honored with the Board of Directors Award at the L.A. Gay & Lesbian Center’s 41st Anniversary Gala & Auction, taking place on Saturday, Nov. 10 at the Westin Bonaventure Hotel in downtown Los Angeles. Rapinoe, came out as a lesbian in an interview earlier this year, making her one of only 23 openly LGBT athletes competing in the 2012 Olympic Games in London. One of the premier LGBT charity events ryAn Andresen

discovery of a severed head, hands and feet in Griffith Park near the Hollywood sign, authorities still are investigating the mysterious case, reports The Hollywood Reporter. The grisly dismemberment of Hervey Medellin, 66, a gay man, was said to have been connected to a Mexican drug cartel. Then speculation centered on Canadian porn actor Luka Magnotta, who was charged with the killing and dismemberment of a college student in May. A search warrant affidavit obtained by The Hollywood Reporter reveals that authorities have focused on the victim’s boyfriend, Gabriel Campos-Martinez. According to the affidavit Campos-Martinez “provided inconsistent and suspicious statements.” Campos-Martinez is said to have left Los Angeles for Texas, and the LAPD declined comment on the matter because it is an “open investigation.” n

TRUE COLORS DevelopeD by stuDents, community activists, anD psychologists, colors proviDes free lgbt affirmative mental health counseling anD community support to local la youth, ages 24 anD unDer. by henry campagna

ore and more LGBTQ youth are coming out at younger Development, Colors combats the epidemic of suicides, bullying, ages than ever before. And with people worldwide celhomophobia, transphobia, and racism affecting LGBTQ youth while ebrating the 24th year of National Coming Out Day on empowering the youngest members of our community through October 11, 2012, it still doesn’t mean it is any easier growing up psychotherapeutic healing and counseling. Colors counselors reLGBTQ in this day and age. In fact, it seems to be the best of times ceive extensive training in LGBT-Affirmative Therapy from the LGBT and the worst of times for LGBTQ youth. On the one Specialization in Clinical Psychology program at AULA, the hand, there is more exposure of out LGBTQ people nation’s first program of its kind. in public and in the media. On the other hand, there In an interview with THE FIGHT, Dr. Douglas continues to be an ongoing problem in bullying, Sadownick, Director of the LGBT Specialization substance abuse, high-risk behaviors, and suicides and Colors, stated, “We have adopted the longamong these youths. Where do these kids turn to in respected domain of LGBT-Affirmative theory a hostile, heterosexist culture with a lack of muchand practice as the body of knowledge we teach needed community resources? our counselors. We’ve added some elements Enter in a new space for youth: Colors LGBTQ from Jungian, Freudian, Humanistic, Family SysYouth Counseling & Community Center. Colors is tems, and Gay Liberation principles that provide a safe and confidential space in Los Angeles, for deep healing in the soul and also the realization Program Manager Ca lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, genof the LGBTQ person’s long lost potential for Director Dr. Douglas ssie Najarian, derqueer, questioning, allied, or label-free youth to creativity, leadership, and individuation.” Sadownick. get support, engage with others, and celebrate who they are. “We’re building the activism within our youth so Developed by students, community activists, and psychologists, they can have personal power. If we can address the impact of bullying Colors is committed to providing free LGBT Affirmative mental and oppression early on, and if we can work with youth in this activist health counseling (individual, couples, group and family therapy) way, we can save lives by changing and improving their situation,” and community support to local LA youth, ages 24 and under. states Cassie Najarian, Colors Program Manager and Counselor. n Opened in January 2012 by Antioch University Los Angeles (AULA) LGBT Specialization in collaboration with Pueblo Nuevo For more information, please visit www.colorsyouth.org. o cto b er 2012 | th e f i gh t 17

” Y A G X “E D E N N A B Y P A R THE A I N R O F I IN CAL

GOVERNOR BROWN SIGNS FIRST BILL IN THE NATION TO PROTECT LGBTQ YOUTH FROM CONVERSION PSEUDO-THERAPY. BY JAMES GUAY, LMFT

I CA GOV. JERRY BROWN

1 8 T H E F IGH T | O CT O B ER 2012

remember 21 years ago—at age 20—attending my first West Hollywood Halloween with my first boyfriend after eight years of unsuccessfully trying to change my sexual orientation from gay to straight through conversion pseudo-therapy, ex-gay conferences, and a myriad of other religious activities. I had been told about the evils of the “gay ghetto,” and in particular, of West Hollywood. I immersed myself in it through the strength and conviction of the love I felt for another man. Fast forward to the past few months of my life, where I’ve had the unique opportunity to advocate for the passage of California Senate Bill 1172—a bill written to protect LGBTQ youth in California by banning the psychologically abusive practice of sexual orientation conversion attempts by licensed psychotherapists. As a teenager, I had been subjected to this harmful treatment. As a psychotherapist in private practice since 1999, I’ve worked predominantly with LGBTQ clients using affirmative psychotherapy. We focus on fully embracing all of who they are.

A UNIQUE STRUGGLE Growing up is frequently a unique struggle for us LGBTQ individuals as most of us do so with some amount of societal or familial pressures to be straight or to devalue the gay self; something we all have in common. We are a community that are usually not born from our own—our parents are usually straight and not LGBTQ. Our upbringing is often mired with difficulties in fully embracing our sexuality and identifying as LGBTQ. When our peers are developing their own identities in a more supportive atmosphere we have often been overlooked, abused or betrayed in various ways, causing shame. For those subjected to conversion pseudo-treatment, this shame-based trauma unchecked can take on additional roadblocks to our mental health, relational health and well-being. However, I’ve learned first-hand and in practice that when we use the strength of our experience to express truth, this is the most empowering thing we can do as LGBTQ individuals. When I testified in front of the State Assembly Committee on Business, Professions and Consumer Protections in June, I publicly shared my personal story and spoke up for my clients who have also been traumatized by attempts at changing their sexual orientation. I also experienced empowerment in confronting the institutionalized homophobia within one of my professional associations, CAMFT (California Association of Marriage and Family

When our peers are developing their own identities in a more supportive atmosphere we have often been overlooked, abused or betrayed in various ways, causing shame. For those subjected to conversion pseudo-treatment, this shame-based trauma unchecked can take on additional roadblocks to our mental health, relational health and well-being.

Therapists), who were initially opposed to this bill and then after removing their opposition were still unwilling to support it like many others had, including several of their own local Chapters. Having strong allies like AAMFT (American Association of Marriage & Family Therapists) and NASW (National Association of Social Workers) who were actively involved in the process of tailoring the bill to make it as precise as possible, was a source of comfort. California Psychological Association moving from opposed to neutral to a support position was also instrumental to the support of this bill. As Howard Zinn once said, “You can’t be neutral on a moving train.” Our basic human rights are being debated, voted on and more openly discussed but one thing remains true, we have the truth of our experience on our side. Change is happening regardless of those who will oppose, stay neutral, and those who step up and take a strong stand with us. EXPAND OUR CAPACITIES Over 55,000 signatures were collected by three petition and postcard efforts (EQCA postcards, AllOut and Gaylesta’s on-line petitions) to convince Governor Jerry Brown to sign this piece of legislation. The Human Rights Campaign has documented 43,819 people have contacted Governor Brown through it’s very recent campaign and Credo has accumulated 66,000 respondents—so that’s well over 150,000 people who have contacted Governor Brown in support of SB1172. Author of the bill, Senator Ted W. Lieu, D-Torrance, a fabulous straight ally, was an incredibly strong advocate for our community. Thirty-two religious organizations nation-wide supported this and used their collective voices to tell Governor Brown that this bill is needed. Local and national PFLAG groups advocated for the passage of this bill. There have been tireless efforts by LGBTQ organizations like co-sponsors Equality California, National Center for Lesbian Rights, Courage Campaign, Gaylesta, Lambda Legal, and Mental Health America of Northern California. People from all over the country and world have been looking to California to be a model in how to protect our LGBTQ youth so that they can better thrive than we did before them. Governor Brown did right! At a time when we now have SB1172 signed into law in the State of California, it is even more clear that it is in our struggle, our advocacy and our triumphs that we are able to build a better sense of self, heal and move forward with renewed strength and

Sen. Ted W. Lieu

LANDMARK VICTORY

n what’s being hailed as a landmark victory for civil rights and increased public awareness about psychological child abuse, Gov. Jerry Brown has signed into law a Sen. Ted W. Lieu bill that makes California the first state to end now-discredited attempts to change a minor’s sexual orientation. “No one should stand idly by while children are being psychological abused, and anyone who forces a child to try to change their sexual orientation must understand this is unacceptable,” Lieu, D-Torrance, said about Senate Bill 1172. “Governor Brown should be commended for protecting LGBT youth by ending this type of quackery.” Effective Jan. 1, 2013, SB 1172 will prohibit children under 18 from undergoing sexual orientation-change efforts.

conviction. It is in having to build an identity and a self through immense pressures that we forge a better community. Let this month and this time be a place for reflection, celebration and renewal. Halloween is a time for people of all genders and all sexual orientations to play with various identities and to take on different roles. It’s an opportunity to see multiple parts of who we are or what we yearn to be. This youthful exploration is a wonderful opportunity to experiment, play and expand our capacities to enjoy life as we are. FIGHT and PLAY. n James Guay, a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist (#mfc39252), provides psychotherapy to individuals, couples and groups at his Beverly Hills office. www. LivingMoreFully.com, www.Facebook. com/JamesTherapy, 310-405-0840. O CTO B ER 2012 | TH E F I GH T 19

THEROSTOW REPORT

BY ANN ROSTOW

Illinois Congressman Aaron Schock

STRAIGHT MEN DON’T WEAR TEAL

’ve been seeing a lot of new headlines about John Travolta’s alleged gay lover. I haven’t clicked on them, because… oh just because. Does anyone doubt that Mr. Saturday Night likes to walk on the wild side? More importantly, does anyone care? Far more interesting to me is the idea that Illinois Congressman Aaron Schock might be gay. Why? Because the Republican Schock has an antigay voting record and insists he’s as straight as an arrow. How delicious it would be to open the closet door and catch Mr. Schock cowering behind a pair of black leather pants and a sequined cowboy shirt! So, do we have any evidence to suggest that Schock is deceiving his public? I’ll let you be the judge. According to the reports I’ve read, Schock once attended a White House picnic in white jeans, a hot pink gingham shirt and a teal belt. He also posed shirtless on the cover of Men’s Health, looking for all the world like a devoted gym rat. Oh, and he’s single. I don’t know about you, but for me, the 2 0 T H E F IGH T | O CT O B ER 2012

teal belt clinches it. The hot pink shirt? That could easily be a simple case of metrosexual style. But a teal belt? Sorry folks, the man’s either a professional golfer or he’s gay. Maybe Mr. Schock hasn’t yet recognized where his own heart lies. We have!

COURT BACK IN SESSION

he Supreme Court is back at work after a summer break. Yay! As you probably know, the justices have been asked to review a series of rulings that struck the Defense of Marriage Act. And recently, Justice Ginsburg told a group of students that she expects the Court will agree to tackle the despicable law (adjective mine). The only question is which DOMA cases will the Court accept? Will they take all of them? Just one? A combination? We have no idea and we won’t know for some time. The Court has yet to schedule a conference for most of the DOMA suits. Only one of them, the New York case

involving widow Edith Windsor, was on their conference calendar for late September, but they took no action. Meanwhile, the Windsor case is still pending in the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Second Circuit, where oral arguments were held late last month. I know it’s confusing. Several of these DOMA cases were appealed to the High Court even though they had yet to take the full trek through the federal appellate courts. Let’s just wait a few weeks and hope that the Supreme Court waves their magic gavels and consolidates these cases for a definitive review. Our other big pending High Court case, of course, is the Prop 8 appeal. The case was listed on their first conference schedule along with Windsor. But as with Windsor, the Court made no announcement one way or another. In fact, I read that the justices didn't even get around to discussing Prop 8, but one assumes they’ll do so shortly. Personally, I hope they reject the case, thereby re-legalizing marriage throughout California and avoiding a risky showdown over national marriage rights.

FATHER KNOWS BEST

h, there are other cases and petitions and bits and pieces of legal news. But life is short, as is my word count. Let’s talk instead about the Hong Kong developer who has offered $65 million to any man who can convince his daughter to marry. The daughter, in her early thirties, is a lesbian in a long-term relationship who recently held a commitment ceremony with her partner. She has told Dad that his public offer is “distracting.” And I guess hundreds of potential husbands have risen to the bait. What next? A series of riddles to answer on pain of death? A made-for-TV marriage of convenience where the girls split the prize with the gay husband and his lover.

If a few things go our way, we could add five more marriage states and abolish the Defense of Marriage Act in less than a year. That’s a pleasant thought. I’m counting wins in the three elections, plus California and now Delaware. WHAT’S IN A NAME?

o I read that Levi Johnston, he of Bristol Palin fame, has become a father again. He and his girlfriend had a daughter who they named “Breeze Beretta.” Yes, the little girl was named after a gun manufacturer. I don’t know ladies and gentlemen. Call me elitist, but the whole Palin entourage makes the Beverly Hillbillies look like the Granthams of Downton Abbey. If you consider how close they came to representing our country, it makes you breathless for a moment. And in totally unrelated news, the latest polls out of Washington, Maryland and Maine are looking good. We now have a doubledigit lead on winning marriage rights in all three states. I know that polls have often betrayed us in the past, but this is encouraging you must admit. Minnesota polls are about tied, which is ominous. Then again, any Minnesota voter who leaves the antigay marriage amendment blank will be counted as a “no” vote, which is a fine policy in my book.

M. HOLLANDE’S OPUS

ark October 24 on your calendar. That’s when the French government will send a marriage bill to parliament. Australia has already defeated such a bill, as expected. Thanks for nothing, Mates. I think we also lost a marriage battle in Tasmania, if memory serves. Forgive me if I don’t look that up. And word is that a marriage bill is a good possibility next year in Delaware. You know what? If a few things go our way, we could add five more marriage states and abolish the Defense of Marriage Act in

less than a year. That’s a pleasant thought. I’m counting wins in the three elections, plus California and now Delaware. I hear them all pecking from inside their little eggs. The shells are so thin. Come on out little chickens! The weather’s fine!

LET THE GAMES BEGIN

e’ve seen a number of gay sports stories in the last weeks. A Toronto Blue Jay who wrote “Tu eras maricon” under his eyes, was suspended for three games and booed by the home crowd upon his return. That, of course, is Spanish for “I’m a homophobic idiot.” And a couple of straight NFL football players came out in favor of marriage equality, leading to banner headlines touting a new tolerance in professional sports. Well, I guess. There was also a story about a football player at North Dakota College of Sciences, who was booted from the team for kissing his boyfriend in the stands. Sounds bad, right? It turned out the teenager’s “boyfriend” was a 65-year-old man and when questioned, the player lied about the kiss. I know you devil-may-care gay guys care little for age differences, but really? A half-century? At any rate, the coach insisted that the player was kicked off the team for the lie, not for the kiss. And I’m inclined to let it go.

CLINT’S PRIME TIME RAMBLE

lint Eastwood appeared on the Ellen Show and said the Republicans were “dumb” to schedule his un-

scripted ramble on prime time. He also said he supports same-sex marriage based on his libertarian views. Thanks Clint, but my interest in your political attitudes has waned in the last several weeks. I also find myself repelled by the ads for Clint's new movie. Just seeing his face annoys me, and not because he was so inane. The man was crude, dismissive and ideologically superficial.

THANKS, HONEY

inally, I just took a quick peek at Google to see if there was a late breaking GLBT news story that deserved our attention and I learned that “Honey Boo Boo” thinks it’s okay to be gay. I’m always annoyed by people of a certain age who feign ignorance of the latest thing, who complain about technology that they haven’t bothered to master, who harken back to the good old days when kids could run around the neighborhood and everyone learned cursive writing. Get over yourself Miss Fogey. That said, I have to do it. Honey Boo Boo? This is a name we are expected to recognize? It turns out that our new ally in the fight for civil rights is a seven-year-old girl in Georgia with her own reality show. She did something on youtube that went viral and earned her contract with TLC. Readers, do you sometimes think you’re in the wrong profession, assuming you’re not starring in your own TV show? Also, do you think you’d tune in to an entertaining hour of me typing, watching the Ryder Cup, making mojitos and muttering to myself from time to time? If so, would you please alert TLC? n O CTO B ER 2012 | TH E F I GH T 21

Nancy Pelosi with bi-national couple Bradford Wells (center) and Anthony John Makk.

GAY COUPLES DEPORTATION RELIEF HOMELAnD SECuRITY TO VIEw BI-nATIOnAL SAMESEx COupLES AS FAMILIES

BY VICTOR MELAMED

ame-sex couples will officially be considered families in immigration proceedings, Homeland Security secretary Janet Napolitano has confirmed, in a move that will help keep many from being split up by deportation, reports The Advocate. Homeland Security had issued a memo last year saying that immigrants who are facing removal from the U.S. could be considered “low priority” by prosecutors in deportation cases if certain factors were present, and among them were close family ties in the nation. Government officials had said informally that same-sex relationships would be included in that definition, but now Napolitano has made that official. In an effort to make clear the definition of the phrase ‘family relationships,’ I have directed [Immigration and Customs Enforcement] to disseminate written guidance to the field that the interpretation of the phrase ‘family relationships’ includes long-term, same-sex partners,” Napolitano said in a letter last month, NBC News reports. Her letter came in response to an inquiry sent in July by Rep. Nancy Pelosi, Rep. Jerrold Nadler, and more than 80 other members of Congress. LGBT rights groups praised her action. “This is a huge step forward,” said Rachel B. Tiven, executive director of Immigration Equality, in a press release. “Until now, LGBT families and their lawyers had nothing to rely on but an oral promise that prosecutorial discretion would include all families. Today, DHS has responded to Congress and made that promise

real. The administration’s written guidance will help families facing separation and the field officers who are reviewing their cases.” “This is incredible news for the 36,000 bi-national same-sex couples in the U.S. - nearly half of whom are raising children,” added Family Equality Council executive director Jennifer Chrisler. Pelosi, who had intervened to help bi-national couple Bradford Wells and Anthony John Makk stay together, told the San Francisco Chronicle the directive “will provide a measure of clarity and confidence to families dealing with separation in immigration cases. Our nation is served when loving families are kept together.” “Anthony would have faced deportation because of the discriminatory Defense of Marriage Act, even though he has lived in the United States for more than 20 years, has no criminal history, has never lived here illegally and is the primary caregiver to his husband. The Obama Administration’s recent efforts to prioritize immigration enforcement for the removal of criminals and others who pose a threat to national security helped pave the way for today’s good news,” Pelosi said last month. Further action is needed, stated Rachel B. Tiven, executive director of Immigration Equality. “Now the courts and Congress should act to make relief permanent, and provide access to green cards for all LGBT families,” she said. n

“Now the courts and Congress should act to make relief permanent, and provide access to green cards for all LGBT families.”

2 2 T H E F IGH T | O CT O B ER 2012

FEAR STOPS HERE OCTOBER IS NATIONAL BULLYING PREVENTION MONTH. THIS IS THE MONTH TO TELL YOUR STORY.

BY VICTOR MELAMED

early one-third of all school-aged children are bullied each year—upwards of 13 million students. To help educate the nation about the issue, the Minnesota-based PACER's National Bullying Prevention Center founded National Bullying Prevention Month in October 2006, a time when communities are urged to take action. "This month marks 7th Annual National Bullying Prevention Month; a time to reflect on our past year, share our stories, and go forward with stronger tools than when we began," said Congressman Michael Honda, founder and chair of the Congressional Anti-Bullying Caucus. "We now understand that bullying is not confined to classroom walls. As an educator of more than thirty years and a member of Congress who was bullied as a child, I am personally committed to addressing the agelessness of bullying and do my part. That's why I founded the Congressional Anti-Bullying Caucus. With over 50 Members of Congress, the bi-partisan Caucus is a forum for individuals and advocates from private sector organizations and non-profit agencies, educators, students, and everyday individuals to proactively address issues of bullying." "This is the month to tell your story," said Honda. "I encourage those who have bullied or been bullied, and their families, to share their stories. Without bringing our stories to light, without developing these conversations and personal connections, we risk compromising our cause. Bullying affects everyone; we appreciate your struggles and admire your courage to stand up and speak out." ■ For more on this topic visit: The National Bullying Prevention Center at: www.pacer.org/bullying It Gets Better Project at: www.itgetsbetter.org

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O CTO B ER 2012 | T H E F I GH T 23

BELLI RUPAUL’S DRAG RACE CONTESTANT WILLAM BELLI ON PRETENDING TO BE STRAIGHT, DADDY FETISHES AND DISCRIMINATION WITHIN OUR OWN RANKS. BY MARK ARIEL | PHOTOS BY PAUL BOULON

eautifully brash and refreshingly honest and unfiltered, actor, singer, songwriter Willam Belli is probably best known to the LGBT community for his stint on season 4 of RuPaul’s Drag Race. Belli was disqualified in the “Frenemies” episode. No solid explanation was given during the original episode except that he “broke rules.” Belli later explained in the season’s reunion special, in an interview with RuPaul, that he was disqualified because: “My husband was coming to bang me out.” According to Belli, his husband was making “conjugal visits” to his hotel room while on the show. His Twitter page utilized the publicity of the mystery rule to advertise his “Chick-fil-A” video, a satirical music video that mocks the restaurant chain’s anti-gay stance. Belli is also known for his recurring role as transsexual Cherry Peck in Nip/Tuck. He has been in numerous feature films including American Wedding and Because I Said So. His television credits include Southland, My Name is Earl, Criminal Minds, CSI:NY, and Boston Public. In an interview with THE FIGHT Belli talks about breaking into the entertainment field, cross-dressing, and same sex couples creating families.

2 4 T H E F IGH T | O CT O B ER 2012

CAN YOU TELL US ABOUT YOUR BACKGROUND? WHERE DID YOU GROW UP? HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOUR CHILDHOOD? I grew up in Philly and Florida with a stint in New Jersey I consider community outreach. I had a sister who was super popular so no one fucked with me except for a hot guy who broke a light bulb on my head but I kinda deserved it. My childhood was great. WHEN DID YOU REALIZE YOU WERE GAY? HOW WERE YOU WITH THAT REALIZATION? HOW DID YOUR FAMILY REACT? I never had to come out. I have a huge family on both sides and had multiple gay aunts and uncles. My parents were always cool with it. WHEN WAS THE FIRST TIME YOU WENT OUT IN PUBLIC IN DRAG? HOW WAS THAT EXPERIENCE? I got into drag so I could get into clubs underage (hint: IT WORKS). Chubby guys, Asian guys and dudes with alopecia are the most passable and I was quite overweight so everyone thought I

UP “[A gay man who dislikes drag queens] probably stems from not being secure with himself. It’s like the guys who can’t admit that they’re straight up 110% bottoms and put versatile on their profiles and then waste like three Adam4Adam with some dude who does the same when they just wanna sit on a fire hydrant.”

was a very slutty teen girl with a daddy fetish (I had my actual father with me at Rocky Horror when I was 13 the first time in drag). WHICH TERM DO YOU PREFER: FEMALE IMPERSONATOR, DRAG ARTIST OR DRAG QUEEN? I like cross dresser. It sounds trashy and is an immediate icebreaker when people ask what I do. YOU MENTIONED TO ME BEFORE THE INTERVIEW THAT YOU WERE NEVER BULLIED IN SCHOOL. DO YOU HAVE ANY AD-

VICE FOR KIDS ON BULLYING? [Drag Race winner] Sharon Needles has great advice: “When in doubt, freak em out.” I kinda would just go harder. Or be even more proactive. Take night courses, online courses, extra electives to get all your credits early and GET THE FUCK OUT of high school hell. WHEN AND WHY DID YOU MOVE TO LOS ANGELES? I arrived here September 14, 2001. The reason for the move is indicative by the timestamp I think. YOU HAVE BEEN ON VARIOUS TV SHOWS AND HAVE APPEARED IN MOVIES. HOW DID YOU BREAK INTO THE ENTERTAINMENT FIELD? I pretended to be straight (by talking as little as possible) to a female assistant director who was in charge of giving out vouchers to become union on my first job. Imagine if a loveseat was in the rain by a dumpster and that was basically my casting couch. WHAT TV SERIES, OR FILM, DID YOU PARTICULARLY ENJOY BEING A PART OF? WHAT TV SERIES, OR FILM, DID YOU PARTICULARLY NOT ENJOY BEING A PART OF? I loved being on Nip/Tuck because Ryan Murphy is a genius and I did not enjoy being a part of Glee (’cause Ryan Murphy has yet to cast my ass on it yet). I won’t actually say I hated being on a show ever because you never know who is reading what, y’know? O CTO B ER 2012 | TH E F I GH T 25

“I got into drag so I could get into clubs underage (hint: IT WORKS). Chubby guys, Asian guys and dudes with alopecia are the most passable and I was quite overweight so everyone thought I was a very slutty teen girl with a daddy fetish (I had my actual father with me at Rocky Horror when I was 13, the first time in drag).” A GAY MAN ONCE TOLD ME THAT WHEN HE FIRST CAME OUT HE DID NOT LIKE MEN IN DRAG BECAUSE IT MADE “ALL OF US GAYS SEEM AS IF WE'RE ALL EFFEMINATE, AND I NEVER WANTED TO BE A WOMAN.” HOW WOULD YOU RESPOND TO THAT? I have very little use for what people think of me. I think this particular gay man’s sentiment probably stems from not being secure with himself. It’s like the guys who can’t admit that they’re straight up 110% bottoms and put versatile on their profiles and then waste like three Adam4Adam with some dude who does the same when they just wanna sit on a fire hydrant. HAVE YOU EVER EXPERIENCED DISCRIMINATION WITHIN THE LGBT COMMUNITY? I was on the road this weekend and walked into a bar at 8pm to get ready to work, in my guy street clothes, and went up to the bartender (a hot, obviously full of himself, muscled king of the scene) and he charged for me a glass of ice. He came backstage after the show to bring me a shot and apologized for making me pay for something. I asked why and he said “I didn’t know you were you.” Knowing how to pick my battles, I just decided “Am I, now?” and downing the shot was the best recourse. Sometimes brevity is the soul of wit I guess. But that made me think about discrimination within our own ranks and it makes me thankful that 2 6 T H E F IGH T | O CT O B ER 2012

it’s so obvious I’m gay. If someone in a crowd at a baseball game makes a homophobic comment and I hear it and don’t say anything, everyone is like “why didn’t that gay guy say anything?” whereas the muscley bartender could easily just blend in and pass as straight and not speak up. It gives me a responsibility, which I don’t mind. And YES, I got to a lot of baseball games with my boyfriend. SO YOU ARE CURRENTLY IN A RELATIONSHIP? I’ve been married for 4+ years and with the same guy for over ten years. I don’t ever see myself finding a more perfect match and he feels the same about me. He is a suit & tie CEO so our worlds are an interesting complement for each other. His basketball teammates get along with my Chow Down sisters and we tend to have a lot of parties with noise complaints. I got arrested at one too. MANY SAME SEX COUPLES ARE CREATING FAMILIES, EITHER VIA FERTILITY OR ADOPTION. DOWN THE ROAD IS THIS SOMETHING YOU WOULD BE INTERESTED IN? We’ve tried twice with a family member and surrogate and neither worked. We’re trying again this winter. I think the pang to procreate is natural in most, no matter orientation. HOW DID THE IDEA FOR THE CHICKFIL-A VIDEO COME ABOUT? HAVE YOU BEEN THERE SINCE YOU MADE YOUR VIDEO WITH DETOX AND VICKI VOX? A high-ranking executive in Georgia at Chick-Fil-A tipped me with 50 free chicken sandwich coupons so I use them and make them give me like 20 sauces per order. I’m fleecing them little by little. The idea was hatched when Detox told Vicky and I why we shouldn’t be eating there (as we ate there) the first time I ate there. WHAT DO YOU FEEL IS THE BIGGEST POLITICAL/SOCIAL STRUGGLE FACING THE LGBT COMMUNITY TODAY? Equal rights is the biggest issue our community is dealing with just because separate (or different but lateral) is not equal. IS THERE ANYTHING WE HAVEN’T ASKED THAT YOU WOULD LIKE TO SHARE WITH OUR READERS? Twilight is stupid and I’ve tried to get appointments for three of their dumb movies. n

QUESTIONS FROM A FANBOY By TIm KREslaKE HOW HAS LIFE AFTER DRAG RACE BEEN FOR YOU? Life has been busy and fun. I like being on TV more than anything but touring and singing my original songs is an amazing way to show that drag queens aren’t just mute glamorous Muppets. HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH FAN REACTIONS WHEN THEY SEE YOU IN OR OUT OF FACE? Everyone wants pics. So I usually do the arm out from above self pic and then scroll through their phone to see their dick pics. IF YOU HAD THE CHANCE TO CHANGE WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU ON DRAG RACE—WOULD YOU? Yes… I wish I could tell the world ALL the reasons I was kicked off, not just the one that the production company and I agreed upon. It’s juicy. ARE YOU HAPPY WITH WHO WON DRAG RACE? (SHARON NEEDLES) Yes. I respect creativity and was jealous of Sharon’s ideas multiple times on the show. I’m thrilled that she’ll be on my album…which is available now on www.willambelli.com.

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O CTO B ER 2012 | TH E F I GH T 27

CLAIMING YOUR IDENTITY IN RECOGNITION OF NATIONAL COMING OuT DAY (OCTOBER 11) THOMAS MONDRAGON ExpLORES THE “DOORwAY INTO HOMOSExuAL EROS THAT INFuSES OuR BEING TO THE CORE.” BY THOMAS MONDRAGON, LMFT

t 6 years old I had a huge crush on “Buddy,” the 12 year-old brother of a classmate. I would follow Buddy around and he was nice enough to let me tag along and grab his hand. I was horribly crushed when he moved away, sobbing in the backseat of the family car at a goodbye potluck for Buddy and his family, devastated by the loss of my special childhood boyfriend—and already knowing I had to hide this from everyone. The first time I had sex was with a man, a college friend I was enthralled with. Neither of us had the courage to admit we were in love (let alone that we were gay) and in shame, fear and self-loathing I cut him off. Fortunately I had tasted the powerful elixir of same sex love, calling me at 23 to finally come out as gay. Similar stories show coming out as a process that often happens over time and is recognized as a monumental series of actions and steps toward claiming an identity as gay. The time we spend thinking about coming out, worrying, being afraid, or fantasizing about that special someone, all point to not just the action of disclosing to others that we are gay. When we begin to privilege the imagination, dreams and fantasy of that hot same sex other over shame and fear, this references a powerful inner experience in the psyche that has grabbed hold and just won’t let go! Psychologist Carl Jung spoke of the soul as the felt source of life and meaning in the psyche, the mind, not in a Christian religious sense but as the experience of knowing one’s psychological inner world of the unconscious shadow, feelings, desires and unrealized 2 4 T H E F IGH T | O CT O B ER 2012

potential. We could say that in the psyche of a gay person resides a gay soul, the doorway into homosexual eros that infuses our being to the core, embodied as an archetypal gay soul figure that we project symbolically in the outer physical world—as my childhood “Buddy,” my college first love and the images of hot men that get my heart racing. From a gay-centered Jungian psychological view, this inner gay soul figure calls us to embrace our homosexual desire and love, empowering us to take the first steps to confront lifelong effects of toxic shame, homophobia and inauthentic lives lived in hidingthe inner inspirational agent for the courage it takes to come out first to ourselves in our minds and then to those important others in our lives. Back in the mid 1800s Karl Ulrichs, a German pioneer of the modern gay movement, proclaimed that we “completely follow our obligations when we follow, not resist, our orientation, which was planted in our hearts by a higher being” invoking a felt experience of being gay sourced deep in the psyche, and the impetus for the important civil rights advances we have made in the past 40 years. Some say coming out is passé, yet we can see that coming out is actually a powerful mysterious inner call for us to embark on a homosexual myth of meaning and as Walt Whitman states “to celebrate the need of comrades”—a path focused not only on our outer experience of living but most importantly, integrated with a psychological relationship to the gay mind and our vast world of feelings—an adventure, waiting to be revealed. n

THELAW

Actor Lee Marvin

MARVIN ACTIONS

What you need to knoW about separation and palimony rights under California laW. by daVid hakimfar, attorney at laW Myth: If you are unmarried and separate from your partner, you do not have community property rights or alimony. Fact: You can get compensation comparable to community property division and spousal support (“palimony”) under California civil contract law.

have community property rights. Unmarried parties seek their property rights and palimony through a civil court action rather than in family court. These “cohabitation” claims are called Marvin Actions, based on the case involving the late actor Lee Marvin. The actor was sued

A non-marital partner’s right to support or property is dependent upon the existence of an express or implied contract or some other legal or equitable basis for the claim.

hile common law marriage is not recognized in California, unmarried parties who cohabitate and have a relationship over a period of time can

3 0 t h e f igh t | o Ct o b er 2012

for financial support by his long-term girlfriend Michelle Triola. Ms. Triola sought financial compensation similar to alimony and community property which married couples receive in Cali-

fornia. The California Supreme Court awarded this compensation to Ms. Triola in 1971. Here is the best part: Marvin does not limit non-marital cohabitant remedies to oppositesex partners or, indeed, to parties eligible to be married. Accordingly, express (written or oral) and implied agreements between samesex cohabitants are as equally enforceable as those between Marvin claimants of the opposite sex. The focus is on whether they in fact had an agreement supported by lawful consideration, not on the parties’ gender. In other words, a non-marital partner’s right to support or property is dependent upon the existence of an express or implied contract or some other legal or equitable basis for the claim, as set forth in Marvin and its progeny. Just like heterosexual marriages, often one partner stays home to care for the family while the other one works. Other times both partners are working, but one spouse clearly is the bread-winner. In these types of situations it is particularly important to speak with a lawyer. Reason being: there may be an entitlement to palimony. What are the basic requirements to bring a Marvin action? When both partners enter into an agreement during the relationship that a nonmarital partner can collect support and/ or property at the end of the relationship. Even without an express agreement (written or oral), non-marital partners can be eligible to receive support and/or property under certain circumstances. For example, if there has been an oral agreement between the parties that one person would manage the household and the other would financially support the household, there can be a claim made by the non-financiallycontributing partner for support from the financially-contributing partner. There are many ways to demonstrate an oral agreement or other arrangements creating financial reliance. That could include shared property rights or accounts. Under California law, an enforceable Marvin claim cannot rest solely on the rendition of sexual services, which itself is unlawful consideration. n David Hakimfar is a senior trial attorney with Hakimfar Law, PLC where his practice focuses on Civil Litigation and Consumer Rights.

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THEMEDIA

J.K. ROWLING: SEX, LIES & LESBIANS Critically acclaimed author of the Harry Potter series J.K. Rowling has released her first book intended for grownups, featuring an abundance of adult themes. According to mixed reviews, “The Casual Vacancy” deals with suicide, rape, addiction, adultery, and a mother who is “struck dumb” when her daughter comes out as a lesbian, reports SHEWIRED.COM.

KATEY SAGAL JOINS EQUALITY CAMPAIGN Katey Sagal, (of “Married With Children” fame) wants everyone to have access to the institution, reports THE ADVOCATE. The actress appears in a new video for Americans for Marriage Equality, the public engagement effort from the Human Rights Campaign featuring prominent spokespeople from the worlds of politics, entertainment and sports. In the new spot, Sagal, a wife and mother, says it’s “absolutely crazy” that most states deny same-sex couples the right to marry.

3 2 T H E F IGH T | O CT O B ER 2012

NICK GRUBER: CALVIN KLEIN'S STALKING ME Calvin Klein’s ex-boyfriend Nick Gruber says the iconic fashion designer has hired a private investigator to tail his tail. Gruber told the NEW YORK POST last month that his 69-year-old ex, Calvin Klein, has hired a private investigator to follow and intimidate him. “The investigator showed up at my table and started harassing me and my boyfriend [John Luciano]. He said, ‘Your boyfriend is in the mob and is being followed by the feds.’” Another source told the Post’s “Page Six” that Klein hired detectives because the designer believes that, “Luciano and Gruber are involved in various unsavory business activities intended to embarrass him.” Gruber has said that he intends to write a tell-all book and film a reality show that will uncover secrets about his relationship with Klein.

PITT: GAY MARRIAGE INEVITABLE In an interview with THE TELEGRAPH, Brad Pitt lent his support to Barack Obama, noting the president’s controversial backing of same-sex marriage. “Gay marriage is inevitable. The next generation, they get it. It is just a matter of time before it becomes a reality,” Pitt said at a screening of his forthcoming film “Killing Them Softly” in London.

LOGO DROPS PARIS HILTON Viacom television network LOGO will not air a documentary on hotel heiress Paris Hilton after she was caught making homophobic remarks last month. Hilton, who made the comments in a New York City taxicab, apologized for her statements that gay men are “disgusting” and that “most of them probably have AIDS.” LOGO, a mostly LGBT-focused cable network, will not air Paris Hilton Inc., a documentary focusing on the financial success related to Hilton’s fame.

BECOMING WHO YOU ARE By HEnRy CamPaGna

I lEaRnEd EaRly On THaT I was dIFFEREnT, and THIs dIFFEREnCE was sOmETHInG TO BE asHamEd OF. THIs TOxIC sHamE Has FuCkEd wITH mE sInCE I was a lITTlE Gay BOy RunnInG aROund, TRyInG my HaRdEsT TO FIT InTO a sTRaIGHT-man’s wORld. 0 0 T H E F IGH T | O CT O B ER 2012

here do I begin? That always seems to be the hardest part for me: to actually start something. Whenever I start anything new, there is something that happens to my body, physiologically-speaking, where my heart starts racing, my stomach turns in knots, my face gets flushed, and my whole body gets sweaty. One would think that I am about to start a marathon in such conditions; however, for me, my body becomes consumed with anticipatory anxiety at the thought of doing something for the first time. Bottom line: I am afraid of the unknown. In the past, I have stopped myself from engaging in new behaviors before I even tried doing them, in order to control and limit this anxiety, without realizing how detrimental this was to my well-being. As I have grown, there has been a slight shift in how I respond to threatening or high anxiety situations by actually confronting them. I have realized the importance of existing in this world and being a human, and even more so, I have realized the importance of being seen and heard. Friedrich Nietzsche once said, “You shall become who you are,” and I am trying to incorporate this belief in my life. Slowly, I have begun to bring myself forward, showing my true self, speaking out, and engaging with others in order to limit the power this fear has had over my life to become fully human. But this has not been easy for me, as I have spent the majority of my life hiding and not wanting to be seen by others. The time has finally come for me to move away from these toxic behaviors and patterns of hiding and secrecy that I learned in my early development to ultimately become who I am.

Right now, I am looking at a picture on my desk of myself as a 2 year old, in a Halloween costume as a CareBear, with a giant red heart in the middle of his chest. All little Henry wanted was to be loved and seen for who he was. Instead, he was shunned. Now, as an adult, I want to grab him and tell him that he is finally safe with me.

MY DIRTY LITTLE SECRET So, who am I? I am a twenty-nine year-old gay man, who is of mixed ethnicity. My father was born in Bari, Italy, my mother was born in Guadalajara, Mexico, and I was born in Los Angeles. My sense of self is strongly tied with my family of origin. I am a part of my family. But I am also a part of a rich and lively history of gay men who came before me. I have flaws, but I also have strengths. I love men, and I am finally at a point in my life where I am not ashamed to admit it. I am passionate. Sometimes I exaggerate things and tend to be overly dramatic. I am someone who needs (ok, maybe “needs” is a little dramatic) to be in control of virtually all aspects of my life. Things that I do not have control over terrify me deeply, including the powerful oppressive forces of homophobia, heterosexism, and racism. Unconsciously and early in my development, I responded to these oppressive forces by internalizing them and attacking myself. I am fearful of a lot of things. As a child, I feared that people, especially family members, would find out about my dirty little secret of same-sex desires and attractions. I feared that I would be ridiculed, harassed, and ostracized from the only thing I knew, which was my family and my environment. Fast forward to the present, and I continue to struggle with my own toxic shame and internalized homophobia. The so-called “need” to be in control that I mentioned earlier

started in my early development. Growing up, I could not control what went on in my environment, so instead, I chose to control the parts of myself that would be revealed, which included deepening the tone of my voice, not smiling as much, watching my limp wrists, as well as controlling parts of myself that would be kept hidden, especially my love for a man’s cock. For the majority of my life, I have been ashamed of both my gay identity and my ethnic identity as a Mexican-American. LEARNING TO BE ASHAMED I displayed gender-variant behaviors at a very early age, which did not fit the model of masculinity that my parents and generations before wanted from the boys in their family. I learned early on that I was different, and this difference was something to be ashamed of. This toxic shame has fucked with me since I was a little gay boy running around, trying my hardest to fit into a straight-man’s world. I was born into a homophobic and racist environment that shunned gay people and ridiculed anything out of the ordinary, which in my case also included the Mexican part of my identity. The patriarch of my family, my Italian grandfather, used to tell me, “You smile and laugh too much. Stop it! Men don’t do that,” and that would be followed by, “You have an Italian last name, therefore you’re Italian.” He refused to accept me for me, and did not see or hear me for who I was. I was his cute, curly-haired, little gay grandson of both Italian AND Mexican descent. How could I ever want to be seen and heard O CTO B ER 2012 | TH E F I GH T 35

Fear and anxiety have ruled my life for far too long. That toxic energy must be released back into the crazy world I live in and attack the oppressive forces of homophobia, heterosexism, and racism themselves. I realize that I can do this by first bringing myself forward as a gay man and then by speaking out about what affects me. in that toxic environment with those kinds of role models and ideas? I learned to be ashamed of the very thing that makes me beautiful, that makes me want to love, that gets me turned on, that makes me feel alive, and that makes me human. As I write this, I am sitting at my desk in my room, the same room I spent my miserable adolescence in. There were many days that I would stay locked away, wanting to stay hidden from the rest of the world. I spent a lot of time not wanting to be seen and heard. Right now, I am looking at a picture on my desk of myself as a 2 year old, in a Halloween costume as a CareBear, with a giant red heart in the middle of his chest. All little Henry wanted was to be loved and seen for who he was. Instead, he was shunned. Now, as an adult, I want to grab him and tell him that he is finally safe with me. I want

3 6 T H E F IGH T | O CT O B ER 2012

to tell him that he is now protected. I see him. I see the sadness in his big brown eyes, but I also see the potential of his beautiful gay soul. I see the limp wrist waiting to be taken by the hand; I am here to hold his hand tightly and rescue him from that toxic environment. I know that he is struggling with fear, and he is terrified that he will be killed for who he is. He is afraid of dying. But he’s not dead. He lives inside of me. I see him. I hear him. And over the course of the past year, more and more people have heard speak about what he endured, and in the future, more and more people will continue to hear him. He is now loved. If only he knew this sooner. MY ENDLESS POSSIBILITIES Fear and anxiety have ruled my life for far too long. That toxic energy must be released back into the crazy world I live in and attack the oppressive forces of homophobia, heterosexism, and racism themselves. I realize that I can do this by first bringing myself forward as a gay man and then by speaking out about what affects me. I am confronting the very things that are holding me back from being seen and heard, and allowing myself to connect with my inner being, including that inner 2 year-old CareBear self. I know that if I allow myself to continue pushing myself further and further by letting go of control and getting uncomfortable and messy, I will move closer toward my own meaning for my life. As Jennifer Lopez (yes, I am using a quote from a Jennifer Lopez song) once sang, “My endless possibilities has the whole world open for me;” I know the world has endless possibilities open for me as an openly gay man in search of his own meaning. n

THEFAMILY

MAYBE BABY

Building a family through egg donation and surrogacy.

By dr. guy ringler

or over fifteen years I have been helping gay men build families through egg donation and surrogacy. By applying all that we have learned in the science of reproductive medicine over the past three decades to the in vitro fertilization (IVF) of donor eggs with embryo transfer into a surrogate, we can help men have biological children of their own with very high pregnancy rates. The first step in the family building through surrogacy process is to schedule a consultation with a reproductive endocrinologist (an IVF physician) to learn about the medical treatment and to initiate semen, infectious disease, and genetic testing. The semen analysis provides an assessment of the quantity and quality of your sperm. Since it takes 70-90 days to fully develop new sperm, if there are any abnormalities that can be improved with treatment, it is best to diagnose a problem early in the process, to allow time to optimize sperm for the IVF cycle.

3 8 t h e f igh t | o ct o Ber 2012

The physician will refer you one or more surrogacy agencies. The role of the surrogacy agency is to recruit and screen surrogate candidates, match intended parents with a surrogate, and to coordinate the process from initial meeting through delivery of the baby. It is important to work with an agency that has a well-established reputation in the field and sufficient experience to guide you through the details of the process. After you have been matched with a surrogate, she will be referred to the reproductive endocrinologist to complete her medical screening. The surrogate candidate will undergo a complete physical exam, uterine evaluation, and comprehensive blood screening to insure that she is an optimal candidate for pregnancy and free of any infectious disease that would risk the pregnancy. The surrogate is evaluated by a clinical psychologist to discuss her comfort level in carrying a pregnancy for another individual or

couple and to provide a resource for any issues that should arise during the pregnancy. Once you have been matched with a surrogate it is time to select an egg donor. The egg donor is a very important piece because she provides half of the genetic contribution of your future child. In our practice, we refer patients to several different egg donor agencies that provide a portfolio of candidates for consideration. You have access to photographs, background medical and family histories, and personal statements on each candidate. You have the option of meeting the individual in person or remaining anonymous. Once the donor is selected she will be referred to the reproductive endocrinologist for medical screening and to a clinical psychologist to discuss her comfort level in donating her eggs and to assess her psychological health and well being. After both surrogate and donor have completed medical screening, each individual will consult with a reproductive attorney to sign contracts for the process. The contract between the surrogate mother and the intended parent establishes the intent of the future parents to create the child, which helps to define them as the legal parents. The donorâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s contract outlines her agreement to donate her eggs to the intended parents. After legal clearance is obtained from all parties, the physician prescribes a treatment calendar that outlines the timetable for starting medication, egg retrieval, and embryo transfer. Once medication is started it will be approximately 3-4 weeks until procedure and 5-6 weeks until positive pregnancy test. The pregnancy rates with donor eggs and surrogacy average 80-85% per embryo transfer which are some of the highest rates available in reproductive medicine today. These high success rates enable many men to have children and build the family that they have always wanted. I feel very fortunate to help my patients on their journey to parenthood. n For more information call California Fertility Partners at 310-828-4008 or visit their web site: www.californiafertilitypartners.com

O CTO B ER 2012 | THE F I GH T 39

THEEPIDEMIC

HIV & STD TESTING

FREE, FAST, FRIENDLY, COMPREHENSIVE TESTING IN WEST HOLLYWOOD. BY VICTOR MELAMED

he L.A. Gay & Lesbian Center's Sexual Health Program offers free sexually transmitted disease screening, treatment and education specifically for the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender community (though everyone is welcome). Routine testing is available on a walk-in basis. STD screenings are offered to anyone undergoing HIV testing as well. Here are the most frequently asked questions about the process. HOW DO I GET TESTED? You can get tested on a walk-in basis, for free, at The Spot, at 625 N. San Vicente Blvd, next to the new library, in West Hollywood. Their hours are Monday through Friday, from noon to 7pm, (except the first Friday of the month when the Spot closes at 3pm). You can also make an appointment for STD treatment at the Spot by calling 323-993-7440. HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE? The average time for a full visit is just 1-2 hours. Most of those who walk-in wait less than 30 minutes to be seen by a testing counselor. WHAT WILL I BE TESTED FOR? Unless you request otherwise, they will test for HIV as well as these sexually transmitted diseases: gonnorrhea, Chlamydia and syphilis. WHAT'S THE TESTING PROCESS LIKE? By painlessly rubbing oral, Q-tip-like swabs in your mouth, you will be tested for gonorrhea and Chlamydia in your throat. They will also collect a blood sample for a rapid HIV test, that can detect HIV as early as seven days after exposure. They will also test the blood for syphilis. Then, you 40 T H E F I GH T | O CT O B ER 2012

will be asked to provide a urine sample and you will be advised on how to use a rectal swab so they can test for genital and rectal gonorrhea and Chlamydia.

WHEN AND HOW WILL I LEARN THE RESULTS? You'll learn the results of your rapid HIV test from a friendly counselor just 20-30 minutes after you finish the testing procedure. Results from your STD tests will be available after seven business days. If you test positive for an STD, they will notify you via telephone; you're also welcome to call for your results. HOW IMPORTANT ARE THE STD TESTS— CAN'T I JUST SKIP THOSE? As many as half of those with STDs don't know it, and if you have an STD, it significantly increases your risk for contracting HIV. You're certainly not required to take the STD tests, but we strongly recommend it. WHAT IF I TEST POSITIVE FOR HIV? HIV is a chronic, life-changing condition, but it is managable with quality medical care, and there are resources available to help you. If the test reveals an HIV infection, the Center's HIV testing counselors will help you understand the implications of being HIV-positive and tell you about valuable resources, including these free and low-cost services offered at the Center. To learn about support groups, individual counseling and more visit: posimages.com. AND FOR STDS? The Center offers free STD treatment, by appointment, at the McDonald/ Wright building on weekdays from 11am-8pm and at The Spot on Wednesdays from 5:30-7pm. For more information call 323-9937440 or visit: www. lagaycenter.org. ■

O CTO B ER 2012 | TH E F I GH T 41

RELIGIOUS FREEDOM BY ZINNIA JONES

JUST AS WITH OPPOSITE-SEX MARRIAGE, SAME-SEX MARRIAGES UNDER CIVIL LAW ARE THE KIND YOU GET AT THE CITY HALL OR ANOTHER GOVERNMENT OFFICE. ITS LEGAL ASPECTS ARE A PURELY SECULAR MATTER, AND THAT LEGAL RECOGNITION DOES NOT OBLIGE ANY RELIGION TO CELEBRATE THESE MARRIAGES. 4 2 T H E F IGH T | O CT O B ER 2012

his November, Minnesota will vote on an amendment to ban same-sex marriage in the state constitution. Reverend Mark Kuether of the Congregational United Church of Christ recently wrote an opinion piece for the Detroit Lakes Tribune, arguing that religious freedom requires legal recognition of gay marriage. Kuether says: This amendment would tell clergy who they can and cannot marry in their congregations. Some churches and religious organizations want to recognize the relationships of committed gay and lesbian couples. Some don’t. It should be their choice. However, this amendment does the opposite. It tells religious leaders they are not allowed to marry same-sex couples. Many faiths want to decide for themselves. This amendment represents a one-size fits all government mandate on our state’s churches. It’s easy to see why this argument is appealing: it takes the usual religious objections to legalize gay marriage, and turns them on their head. Instead of claiming that legalizing same-sex marriage would curtail religious freedom, it argues that a ban on same-sex marriage is the real infringement on religious freedom. And it also points out that “religion” is not a monolithic body that’s uniformly opposed to gay marriage, as many religious opponents of gay marriage often like to pretend.

There are certain faiths that approve of many different kinds of marriages that are not recognized under civil law. Does this mean the state is required to recognize child marriages or multiple marriages just because someone’s religion does? No, just as a racist church that disapproves of interracial marriage cannot impose this rule upon the populace at large. But the religious freedom argument for marriage equality is just as flawed as the religious freedom argument against marriage equality, and for precisely the same reasons. Those who argue against gay marriage on the grounds of religious freedom make the mistake of conflating civil marriage law with religious marital practices. Out of willful or genuine ignorance, they claim that the legalization of samesex marriage would mean all churches and other religious institutions are now required to perform same-sex wedding ceremonies. This is simply contrary to fact, which is plain to see in every state where same-sex marriage is legal and intolerant religions are still free to conduct only the weddings they want. Just as with opposite-sex marriage, same-sex marriages under civil law are the kind you get at the city hall or another government office. Its legal aspects are a purely secular matter, and that legal

recognition does not oblige any religion to celebrate these marriages. The recognition of opposite-sex marriages in civil law has never meant that a Catholic church is required to let just anyone get married in a cathedral, and same-sex marriage is no different. The people who make this argument don’t seem to understand that you can’t just go to any church, synagogue, mosque or temple, and demand to get married there. In other countries with official state churches whose doctrines are decided by legislators, those churches may be required to solemnize same-sex marriages, but in the United States, the government is entirely unable to tell a religion which marriages and relationships it can and cannot celebrate. For that reason, the claim that a ban on gay marriage “tells religious leaders they are not allowed to marry same-sex couples” is likewise false. Various religious bodies, including the United Church of Christ, already choose to recognize same-sex marriages and perform same-sex wedding ceremonies as part of their faith. And if they only wanted gay, queer, and otherwise extraordinary couples to get married at their churches, they would be fully within their rights, too. Because civil marriage and religious marriage are completely separate practices, a civil ban on same-sex marriage does not prevent them from doing this. Conversely, a certain religion’s marital practices are not and should not be used to define the civil marriage laws that apply to everyone. The Catholic church may choose to recognize as valid only those marriages which abide by their specific religious requirements, but that doesn’t mean these are the only marriages that are recognized under civil law. No religion gets to dictate our nation’s civil, secular laws, and they can’t demand that everyone be forced to live under a particular religious doctrine that they may not even believe in. Even if no religion in history approved of same-sex marriages or wanted to perform them, this would be no argument against recognizing same-sex marriages under civil law. And just as we wouldn’t let an anti-gay church define what marriage is for everyone, we also shouldn’t let a pro-gay church define what marriage is for everyone. Respect for religious freedom does not demand that our civil law must ban all the marriages a religion bans, and allow all the marriages a religion allows. The scope of religious freedom does not extend that far. There are certain faiths that approve of many different kinds of marriages that are not recognized under civil law. Does this mean the state is required to recognize child marriages or multiple marriages just because someone’s religion does? No, just as a racist church that disapproves of interracial marriage cannot impose this rule upon the populace at large. But all of these groups already have the freedom to practice their religious marriages in accordance with their beliefs. And just as the legalization of same-sex marriage does not burden that freedom, neither does banning same-sex marriage. The claim that legal gay marriage limits religious freedom is a complete non-starter. But so is the idea that its absence poses a similar restriction. There are already plenty of excellent points in favor of same-sex marriage, and no good ones against it so far. We don’t need to rely on arguments that proceed from the same faulty premises, so why pretend religious freedom has anything to do with it? n Read more commentary by Zinnia Jones at: www.freethoughtblogs.com/zinniajones O C TO B E R 2012 | T H E FI GH T 43

THECALENDAR GROUPS ASIAN/PACIFIC GAYS AND FRIENDS www.apgf.org GAY ASIAN PACIFIC SUPPORT NETWORK www.gapsn.org LOS ANGELES GAY AVIATION CLUB Pilots, Flights Attendants, Mechanics. www.unusualattitudes.info CLUB NUR Gay Middle Eastern. www.clubnur.com GAY MEN’S CHORUS OF LOS ANGELES www.gmcla.org THANK GAYS IT’S FRIDAY STANDUP COMEDY Every Friday, 8:30 p.m. MJ’s Bar, 2810 Hyperion Avenue, Los Angeles. (323) 650-1503 GAY & LESBIAN SALSA Every Monday, 8 p.m. Little Temple Bar, 4519 Santa Monica Blvd., Silverlake, 90029. gaysalsanight@yahoo. com or www.facebook.com/gaysalsanight

CHELSEA HANDLER THURSDAY, OCTOBER 11

THE INSPIRATION GALA Milk Studios, Los Angeles, 6:30pm. For more info visit: amfar.org. The Foundation for AIDS Research (amfar) fundraiser. Hosted by Chelsea Handler, with special guest Sarah Jessica Parker. Honoring CAA’s Kevin Huvane for his contributions. Performance by Katy Perry. SATURDAY, OCTOBER 13

PALM SPRINGS EQUALITY AWARDS Riviera Resort & Spa, 1600 North Indian Canyon Drive, Palm Springs, 6pm. For more info visit: eqcaawards.org/palm-springs-equality-awards/. Equality California is the largest statewide LGBT advocacy organization working to secure full and lasting equality for and acceptance of LGBT people. This year Equality California honors Assembly speaker John A. Pérez, Senator Barbara Boxer and others. OUTFEST LEGACY AWARDS Orpheum Theatre 842 S. Broadway, Los Angeles, 6:30pm. For more info visit: www.outfest.org. During their 8th annual Legacy Awards, Outfest will unveil their latest restoration to date, DIFFERENT FROM THE OTHERS (1919), one of the earliest known LGBT films in existence. Event includes star-studded VIP pre-party; the presentation of the Visionary Award and screening with live musical accompaniment; and post-screening After Party. MODELS OF PRIDE University of Southern California, Exposition Boulevard & S. Figueroa Street, Los Angeles, 8am. For more info visit: modelsofpride.org. A free conference that will bring together more than 1,000 LGBT and allied youth for a full day of life-enriching workshops, panel discussions, entertainment and more to help 4 4 T H E F IGH T | O CT O B ER 2012

attendees build confidence and self-esteem and develop valuable life-skills. SUNDAY, OCTOBER 14

AIDS WALK L.A. West Hollywood Park, 8:30am. For more info visit: aidswalk.net. Since its inception in 1985, AIDS Walk Los Angeles has benefited AIDS Project Los Angeles (APLA), an AIDS service organization dedicated to: improving the lives of people affected by HIV disease; reducing the incidence of HIV infection; and advocating for fair and effective HIV-related public policy. WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 31

WEHO HALLOWEEN BLOCK PARTY Santa Monica Boulevard, between Doheny and La Cienega, West Hollywood, 6pm. For more info visit: www.weho.org/halloween. Halloween celebration with food, entertainment, and the most creative costumes on the planet! Admission is free. SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 3

PALM SPRINGS LGBT PRIDE Palm Springs Stadium, Sunrise Park, 1901 E. Baristo Rd., Palm Springs, 10am. For more info visit: pspride.org The two-day pride festival is held at the former spring training home of the California angels and Chicago White Sox. On Pride Weekend, thousands will take to the field with the baseball diamond serving as the gathering spot for friends and a celebration of diversity and unity. Complete with gay-owned and LGBT friendly companies, the festival includes music, dancing, food vendors, and booths staffed by local organizations. The Pride Parade is on Sunday, November 4 at 10am. Parade Route: Steps off at W. Ramon Rd. and travels north on S. Palm Canyon Drive to E. Tamarisk Rd.

GAY TRAFFIC SCHOOL Third Tuesday and Wednesday of every month, 6-10 p.m. The Village at Ed Gould Plaza, 1125 N. McCadden Place, Los Angeles 90038. 1-800-Gay-4-You or www.laglc.org POP LUCK CLUB Second Sunday of every month, 11 a.m. Locations vary. Los Angeles based organization for Gay Dads, Prospective Dads, and their families. www.popluckclub.org PROSTATE CANCER SUPPORT GROUP 1st and 3rd Tuesday of each month, at the Gay & Lesbian Center. RSVP to Dennis@malecare.org or call (323) 860-7340. GREAT AUTOS OF YESTERYEAR The largest LGBT classic car club on the West Coast. www.greatautos.org LOS ANGELES PRIME TIMERS Social group for older mature gay men and admirers. www.laprimetimers.org LOS ANGELES GAY BRIDGE CLUB www.communityvisions.org/IAGLBC LOS ANGELES GAY/LESBIAN SCIENTISTS www.lagls.org LOS ANGELES GAY FOR GOOD Gays making a commitment to volunteer for social welfare and environmental service projects. www.gayforgood.org LOS ANGELES GAY NATURISM California Men Enjoying Naturism. cmen.info BI-OSPHERE P.O.V. Every 2nd Wednesday, 8-9:30 p.m., The Village at Ed Gould Plaza, 1125 N McCadden Place, Los Angeles. For more information, call (323) 860-7302. M-F between 6-9 p.m. Topic-driven discussion for women and men who identify as, or are exploring bisexuality. MEN’S SPEAKEASY Every Tuesday at 8 p.m. The Village at Ed Gould Plaza, 1125 N McCadden Place, Los Angeles. For more information, call (323) 860-7302. Fun, alternative space for gay and bisexual men to meet and make new friends. LGBT BOOK CLUB First Wednesday of each month, 7:30-9:30 p.m. The Village at Ed Gould Plaza, 1125 N McCadden Place, Los Angeles. For more information, call (323) 860-7302, M-F between 6-9 p.m. USC LAMBDA LGBT ALUMNI ASSOCIATION alumnigroups.usc.edu/lambda/ LOS ANGELES BLACK PRIDE www.myblackpridela.com GREATER PASADENA AID FUND www.greaterpasadenaaidfund.org POSITIVE IMAGES WORKSHOP Every Monday, from 7-9 p.m. The Village at Ed Gould Plaza,

> EMAIL YOUR EVENT OR GROUP TO 1125 N McCadden Place, Los Angeles. If you’re looking for ways to deal with HIV, the Live Life Better Workshop can help you learn coping skills, build a support system, and work toward your health goals. An RSVP is required. For more information or to reserve your place, call (323) 860-7321. The e-mail contact is positiveimages@ lagaycenter.org. TRANSGENDER PERCEPTIONS Every Friday, 8 p.m. The Village at Ed Gould Plaza, 1125 N McCadden Place, Los Angeles. For more information, call (323) 860-7302. M-F between 6-9 p.m. Social networking group offers a safe and welcoming opportunity for people of any age and gender identity to learn from others and to share experiences. GET CENTERED Meditation Class. Every Saturday, 10-11 a.m., $10. Gay & Lesbian Center, 1625 N Schrader Blvd. Los Angeles. For more information, call (323) 860-7300. SENIORS SERVICES Ongoing, The Village at Ed Gould Plaza, 1125 N McCadden Place, Los Angeles. For more information, call (323) 860-7359. DOMESTIC VIOLENCE SUPPORT Ongoing, L.A. Gay & Lesbian Center, 1625 N Schrader Blvd., Los Angeles. For more information, call (323) 860-5806. MPOWERMENT WEEKLY WORKSHOPS Tuesdays and fridays, 6 p.m. APLA, 3550 Wilshire Blvd., Suite 300, Los Angeles. More info: Donta Morrison, tel: (213) 2011561. For young gay men of color—ages 18 thru 24—looking for a safe place to hang out. “Each week offers a great opportunity to vent, laugh, make friends, and simply celebrate who you are.” SUPPORT FOR HIV-POSITIVE WOMEN Second and fourth wednesdays, 7 p.m. The David Geffen Center, 611 south Kingsley Dr., Los Angeles. More info: call Women At Risk at (310) 204-1046. SOCAL SOCIAL CLUB For more info: www.Socalsocialclub.com. Southern California’s social & business network for lgbt professionals. 12 STEP GROUPS All groups meet at The Village at Ed Gould Plaza, 1125 N McCadden Place, Los Angeles. For more information, call (323) 860-7302 M-F between 6-9 p.m.

editor@thefightmag.com

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS Mondays, 6:10-7:10 p.m. CRYSTAL METH ANONYMOUS Saturdays, 9:10-10:10 a.m. DEBTORS ANONYMOUS Tuesdays, 8-9 p.m. MARIJUANA ANONYMOUS Wednesdays, 8:15-9:45 p.m. Saturdays, 10:30 a.m.-12:30 p.m. OVEREATERS ANONYMOUS Wednesdays, 7-8 p.m. SEXUAL COMPULSIVES ANONYMOUS Mondays, 8-9 p.m. Tuesdays, 8-9 p.m. Wednesdays, 8-9 p.m. Thursdays, 8:15-9:15 p.m. Saturdays, 12:15-1:45 p.m. WOMEN’S NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS Saturdays, Noon-1 p.m. SPORTS LOS ANGELES LESBIAN SOFTBALL www.lagaysoftball.com LOS ANGELES LESBIAN TACKLE FOOTBALL www.californiaquakefootball.com LOS ANGELES LESBIAN RUGBY www.eaglerockrugby.com WOMEN’S SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA GOLF www.womensgolf.org/wscga LOS ANGELES LESBIAN POKER www.lalpg.com LOS ANGELES WOMEN ON A ROLL Luncheons, Comedy Nights, and Conversation Groups. www.womenonaroll.com

SAGA LA Gay Ski & Snowboard Club. www.sagala.org V.O.I.L.A. Volleyball. www.lagayvolleyball.com GREAT OUTDOORS The largest gay outdoor recreational organization in Southern California. www. greatoutdoorsla.org GAY AND LESBIAN SIERRANS Camping, Outdoors, Hiking Angeles. www.sierraclub.org CHEER LA Cheerleading. www.cheerla.org

HOLY SPIRIT holyspirit-la.org, 4201 West Sunset Blvd., Los Angeles, CA 90029 UNITED UNIVERSITY CHURCH uniteduniversitychurch.org, 817 West 34th St., Los Angeles, CA 90089 DIGNITY CENTER dignitylosangeles.org, 126 South Avenue 64, Los Angeles, CA 90042

DIFFERENT SPOKES Cycling www.differentspokes.com Rides start in various locations in the greater Los Angeles area.

HOPE LUTHERAN CHURCH-HLYWD hopelutheranchurch.net, 6720 Melrose Ave., Los Angeles, CA 90038

SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA BLADES Ice Hockey. www.bladeshockey.com LOS ANGELES FRONTRUNNERS Running and walking club. www.lafrontrunners.com WEST HOLLYWOOD SOCCER CLUB Comfortable, supportive environment for learning and playing the world’s most popular game. www.gaysoccer.com LOS ANGELES GAY SCUBA CLUB www.barnaclebusters.org LOS ANGELES GAY ROCK CLIMBING www.lalgbtclimbing.com WEST HOLLYWOOD AQUATICS Swim and Water Polo Teams. www.wh2o.org

WORSHIP

LOS ANGELES GAY FLAG FOOTBALL www.laflagfootball.com There’s also lesbian tackle football.

METROPOLITAN COMMUNITY CHURCH mccla.org, 4953 Franklin Ave., Los Angeles, CA 90027

WEST HOLLYWOOD GAY RUGBY www.larebellion.org

BETH CHAYIM CHADASHIM SYNAGOGUE bcc-la.org, 6090 West Pico Blvd., Los Angeles, CA 90035

GAY & LESBIAN BOWLING LEAGUE www.tavernguildleague.com

HOLLYWOOD UNITED METHODIST CHURCH hollywoodumc.org, 6817 Franklin Ave., Los Angeles, CA 90028

LA ROWING www.larowing.org

LOS ANGELES GAY RODEO CLUB www.gsgra.org

LOS ANGELES POOL LEAGUE Friendly Billiard teams. www.lapl8ball.com

FIRST CONGREGATIONAL CHURCH OF LOS ANGELES fccla.org 540, South Commonwealth Ave., Los Angeles, CA 90020

KOL AMI REFORM SYNAGOGUE kol-ami.org, 1200 North La Brea Ave., West Hollywood, CA 90038

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O CTO B ER 2012 | Th E F i gh T 45

THEFINALFIGHT

RESPECT

ORlandO CRuz BECOmEs BOxInG’s FIRsT OpEnly Gay man.

uerto Rican featherweight Orlando Cruz has announced he is gay, making him what is believed to be the first openly homosexual pro boxer. "I've been fighting for more than 24 years and as I continue my ascendant career, I want to be true to myself," Cruz said in a statement. "I want to try to be the best role model I can be for kids who might look into boxing as a sport and a professional career. I have and will always be a proud Puerto Rican. I have always been and always will be a proud gay man."

“I want to try to be the best role model I can be for kids who might look into boxing as a sport and a professional career.” Cruz said in an interview that he met with psychologists before making his announcement and adds he has the full support of his family, trainer and manager. While Cruz is the first openly gay man currently in boxing, Emile Griffith, a welterweight and middleweight champion from the 50s through his retirement in 1977, came out as bisexual in a 2005 Sports Illustrated article. Griffith is notorious for beating his opponent Benny Paret into a coma after Paret called him a "maricón"—faggot. Paret died 10 days later and the incident was the subject of the documentary, Ring of Fire. Hailing from San Juan, Puerto Rico, Cruz, 31, began boxing at age 7 and during his amateur career posted a record of 178 wins and 11 losses, reports Queerty.com. In 2000, he was selected for Puerto Rico's Olympic boxing team. He then made his professional debut in December 2000, winning his first title in March 2008. Cruz has a current record of 18 wins, 2 draws and 1 loss with 9 KOs and will defend his WBO NABO title against Jorge Pazos on October 19. Should he defeat Pazos, Orlando Cruz could be positioned for a world title shot. n 4 6 T H E F IGH T | O CT O B ER 2012