OZ magazine, Sydney, no.2

OZ TALKS TO GOD Best of Donald Duck, Baurne as a play'write.

Censorship. Bob Hughes 011 "Ban the Bombers’

I SPY OZ Competition No. 1

WIN: ★

★

★

★

I.iiiiiim

I:! months frit subscription In HZ [tins 1 pin-up pliitiii ill han Skripov Alsu: 3 pairs of sunglasses to be given away as consolation prizes

HERE’S ALL YOU DO: Send us y o u r fa v o u rite secrets . . .

M a ybe

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an

im p o rta n t G o ve rn m e n t e m plo ye e

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lis t o f o fficial secrets . . .

or perhaps

y o u 're

a h o u s e w ife w ith

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weeny

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RUSH THEM TO US . . . W IN VALUABLE PRIZES . . . THERE'S N O ENTRY FEE! The

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A ll

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T ill: PO CK ET BOOSHOP A N N O U N C E S

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OZ JUNE Is busting o u t all ove r with:

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OZ

w ith

OZ

MAY —

IS

and squalor

Sir. T h ere m ight be 16 ozs. to the p ound b ut p erh ap s in fu tu re editions the title could be 1 /3 2 ozs. so as to overcom e any delusions o f g ra n d eu r on y our part.

(O f course the p rice w ould be adjusted accordingly.)

My l / 3 d . bought m e (14?) pages of u n d e rg ra d u a te sallies a t all kinds o f old chestnuts. In ste ad o f a n intellectu al a p ­ p ro a ch to im p o rta n t issues o f the tim es, I received a lo t o f im m atu re nonsense on all the “old fa v o u rites”, R oyalty, socialites, p o rn o g rap h y . In fa c t I som e­ tim es w o n d er w h eth er the student e d ito r’s m ind can get p a st these th ree m ental blocks.

D oesn’t a nyone th ere know anything ab o u t M alaya, A u stra lia n politics, the B ishop o f W oolich, the Public Service, Big Business, the C o m m o n M ark et, T ele­ vision, T h eatre; o r are these the sort o f topics w hich re q u ire those ho rrib le things k n o w n as “fa cts” com bined w ith skilful rep o rtin g .

People suffering fro m nym p h o m an ia a n d satyriasis fo rm a sm all p a rt o f the reading public. It w ould be good business i enlarge y o u r m arket.

Allan G. Hogan, Sydney

Sir. Re y our article on C hastity Belts on pages 8 a n d 9 o f A p ril OZ. It begins: “M odesty w as in tro d u ced w ith C h rist­ ianity".

I suppose the w riter m ea n t C hastity.

H e w ould be w rong in b o th cases a n y ­ way. M odesty is an a ttitu d e o f m ind.

C h astity a con d itio n o f the body A N D m ind.

W hy do you think it (m odesty a n d /o r chastity) “w as in tro d u c ed w ith C h rist­ ianity?"

W h at ab o u t the T u rk s and their yashm aked w om en?

W h at a b o u t the H in d u s and their Saris?

W h at a b o u t the la p a n e s e and the e m ­ phasis placed o n chastity there, so th at a “d ish o n o u re d ” girl w as obliged to com m it suicide as re p aratio n ?

W hat a b o u t the C hinese (pre-C om m u n ist anyw ay) a n d th eir insistence on c hastity a n d the cruel punishm ents for u n fo rtu n a te girls (not m en) w ho fell fro m grace?

W h at a b o u t the N ew G u in e a preC hristianised tribes w hose girls w ere so m odest th a t a d ru n k e n trib esm an who w hipped off a m aid e n ’s grass skirt caused her to kill h e rself fro m “sh am e”?

W h at a b o u t the p re-C h ristian Jews w ho, as husbands, displayed publicly their b rid es’ w edding sheets, duly stained, as evidence o f h e r p rio r chastity?

If you M U ST w rite off-beat articles on such things as chastity belts please be sure you are O N the b e at regarding the facts F IR S T , a n d avoid m aking such stupid statem ents as “M odesty w as in tro ­ duced w ith C h ristia n ity ”.

A nyw ay N a tu re gave fem ales a builtin chastity b e lt in th e fo rm o f the m aid ­ enhead, o r have n o n e o f you ever heard o f it? A sk y o u r biology dept.

“G rannie”, M l. Victoria, N.S.W .

O / ’s special Chastity Belt Correspon­ dent replies: I did m ea n M odesty — th a t a ttitu d e o f m ind w hich results in the bodily c o n ­ d ition o f chastity. I t w as in tro d u ced into o u r society w ith C hristianity because alm ost only in the C h ristian w orld is m odesty sexual. In prim itive societies it is m ostly associated w ith social custom s such as eating a n d drinking.

U n fo rtu n ate ly in refu tin g m y sta te ­ m ent, the m istake has been m ad e of reg ard in g the p h en o m e n o n fro m o u r ow n c u ltu ra l position a n d o f m easuring it by a sta n d ard to w hich w e have becom e accustom ed by centuries o f C hristian ideals.

W h at ab o u t the N ew G u in e a natives?

N ud ity is n o t to be equated w ith a lack o f m odesty, b u t w ith superstition o r fear.

W hat ab o u t veils? A m ong Islam w om en fe a r neurosis w as a tta ch e d to the face and they w ere n o t so w orried a b o u t the exposure o f the genitals. T he passage in the K oran (Sura 33) which refers to the veiling o f w om en has been o verplayed p ro b ab ly to suit m ale jealousy.

A nd w hat ab o u t the T ahitians? M od­ esty w as u n know n to them till they cam e in c o n ta ct w ith degenerate E u ro ­ peans w ho destroyed their n a tu ra l purity.

C oncepts o f m odesty a n d respect for virginity are n o t innate in the psyche o f m an k in d . T hey are generally the c o n ­ sequences o f repression and inhibition w hich accom p any social developm ent.

T h o u g h chastity (i.e. the bodily c o n ­ dition only) m ay have been valued am ong non- and p re-C h ristian societies, the reaso n s fo r this w ere m ore often physical th an spiritual.

Sir, C o n g ra tu la tio n s to all the staff on the first issue o f O Z. I th o u g h t you m ight be interested to know th a t O Z ’s circu latio n alread y exceeds the follow ing: A u stralasian In su ran ce Jo u rn a l A u stralasian S portsgoods and T oy R etailer A u stra lia n F a sh io n N ew s A u stra lia n H a rd w a re Jo u rn a l D ra p er o f A u stra lasia M ingay’s E lectrical W eekly N ew sp ap er N ew s T ailo r a n d M en’s W ear G o u lb u rn E vening Post G ra fto n D aily E xam iner Lithgow M ercury M urw illu m b ah D aily N ew s O range C e n tra l W estern D aily B airnsdale A dvertiser C olac H erald G ippsland T im es (Sale) W an g a ratta C hro n icle D espatch W arw ick D aily N ew s P o rt L incoln T im es P o rt Pirie R ecorder R e n m a rk M u rra y Pioneer W hyalla N ew s A lb a n y A d v ertiser B un b u ry South W estern T im es G e ra ld to n G u a rd ian K algoorlie M in er N a rro g in O bserver Scottsdale N o rth E ast A dvertiser T he B ulletin (Q ueensland) “M arket Researcher”, Sydney

A MW M AGAZINE

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sure

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e v e ry

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to

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H a rrin g to n

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IT LESS?

OZ is now the trashcan for Sydney’s liveliest minds.

If you have either (a ) trash (b ) a lively mind send them in, a scented envelope to

3 Harrington Street Sydney P ub lish ed b y 3 H a rrin g to n

Editors:

'O Z P u b lica tion s Ink L im ite d ' Lane, S yd n ey; B W 4 1 9 7 .

Richard

N e v ille

and

Richard W alsh.

Art: M a rtin S harp, G a rry Shead.

Editorial

Assistants: Gina C oo p e r, Lyn M u rra y , Bob Thom pson.

Eviston, Robyn M ik e Robertson,

Secretary: H arry Bauer.

A ssistant Secretary: Helen Saunders.

a

r :

Issst xc?x»ia

Munrmy and daddy w e r e so thrilled w hen I passed m y In te r­ m ediate Certificate they said I should stay a t school and learn

some m ore.

B ut I knew better. I joined the CUSTOMS DEPARTMENT. It was fun. W hen they found out I could read, th ey put m e in charge of ban­

TWILIGHT ^ P R I L is a stra n g e m o n th fo r people to g et censorious in.

B ecause, o f course, o n A p ril 25 we have a g re a t festival to re m in d us of the lives lo st in achieving th e little fre e ­ dom w e have.

B u t p eople a re very censorious in A pril; in fact, if A p ril 1963 is any indication, they ten d to be m o re cen­ sorious in this m o n th th an any oth er.

T o be m o re explicit— • In A p ril the A .B .C . publicly a p o lo ­ gised fo r a n “A n y Q uestions” p ro g ram m e in w hich the Q ueen w as satirised; m ade heavy cuts in th e in te rsta te v ideotape of a T a n ia V e rstak sketch o n the B ryan D avies’ Show ; a n d com pletely c u t the in te restate vid eo tap e o f a R o y alty sketch on th e sam e show .

• In N ew castle the C ustom s D e p a rt­ m en t show ed th a t it w as keeping u p its sterling w o rk m ain tain in g A u s tra lia ’s censorship as one o f the m o st repressive in the w o rld by try in g to confiscate a b o o k fro m th e local M unicipal L ib ra ry o n the stren g th o f one com plaint.

• In Sydney the sam e d e p a rtm e n t m ain tain ed th e sam e efficiency by in ­ fo rm in g th e C ro w n S olicitor th a t they w ould n o t h a v e p e rm itte d O Z A P R IL to e n te r this c o u n try if it h a d been a foreign p ublication.

Strange events indeed fo r A p ril but the events su rro u n d in g the latter, being closest to hom e, in terest us m ost.

T he p re m o n itio n th a t O Z A P R IL m ight offend som e p eople h a d n o t escaped us. T h ere a re alw ays som e p eo p le sufficiently in secu re as to th in k any fran k n e ss w ill brin g th eir little w orlds crashing do w n a b o u t th e ir heads.

W h a t w as n o t expected w as the lengths to w hich p eople are p re p are d to go to show th e ir dissatisfaction: people rip p in g u p O Z ’s in the streets, talk in g loudly about “p o rn o g rap h ic tra s h ”, com p lain in g to au th o rities etc.

I t ’s a p p are n tly no good ju st being offended, y o u h a v e to show you a re as lo u d ly a n d as o ften as y o u can.

T h e a ttitu d e o f officialdom is even m o re perplexing.

T h e M a ritim e Services B oard, w hich has a bsolutely n o a u th o rity in th e field o f public m o rality , officially expressed its d ispleasure a t the fa c t th a t the editors o f such a m agazine should c o n ­ d u c t o ccasional m eetings in a w orkshop sub-let fro m them .

T h e C ustom s D e p a rtm e n t, w hich has

OF

ning filthy publications.

I pounced on bookshops and con­ fiscated everything obscene; or things I couldn’t understand. I con­ fiscated a lot.

SANITY

a bsolutely no au th o rity over in tern al publicatio n s, n o t o nly offered advice to the C ro w n S olicitor, gratis and w ithout request, b u t also asked one o f Sydney’s m ain d istrib u to rs w hy they h a d not been in fo rm e d a b o u t O Z . T he d istrib u to r in question to ld them very rightly to go to hell.

D em ocracy dem ands th a t you should allo w p eo p le th e rig h t to see o r re ad things, even tho u g h you y o u rse lf find them offensive, unless in so doing they a re in som e w ay in terferin g in y o u r life A n d , ho w ev er m u ch it irks you, th a t is the k ind o f freed o m w hich we com ­ m em o rate o n A p ril 25.

A ll v ery stra n g e happenings, indeed, fo r a m o n th in w hich w e are supposed to co n te m p la te the price paid for dem ocracy.

It is interesting to note th a t “T h at W as the W eek T h a t W as” , a c ontroversial B.B.C. w eekly p ro d u c tio n , receives 500 co m p lain ts every w eek a n d yet th ere is n o ta lk o f th e B.B.C. w ithdraw ing it.

W hy a re A u stra lia n s so incredibly soft th a t m a te ria l w hich is freely available in o th er c ountries is presu m ed to c o rru p t o u r citizens?

T h e freed o m fro m censorship on the c o n tin ten t o f E u ro p e is legendary and yet they seem n o w orse fo r thee experience.

F o r a n y kind o f dem ocracy the price paid — 15 m illion A llies lost their lives in W o rld W ar II— has been p h enom enal.

F o r A u stra lia n -ty p e dem ocarcy it is fearso m ely so.

T he co n clu sio n to be d raw n fro m these an d sim ila r events is th a t A u stra lia n s are n o t convinced in freed o m as a w ay o f thinking b u t m erely as a principle h a lf­ em b o d ied in legislation.

D e m o cra cy , in A u stra lia , is the right o f the in d iv id u al to in te rfe re as m u ch as he can in th e lives o f his fellow -m en and the privilege o f institutions to cater fo r the low est com m on d e n o m in a to r o f p ublic taste.

W hen anything o f a c ontroversial n a tu re is said, how the censorious vul­ tures circle squaw king fo r action! A nd the g o v e rn m e n t d ep artm en ts, big a d v er­ tisers, new spapers offering m inim al resistance yield to th e ir clam ouring.

T he a ttitu d e o f a n org an isatio n like the A .B .C . is seen a ll too clearly in the Q ueen episode on the B ryan D avies’ Show . S ir C h arles M oses explained to the “M irro r” th a t 63 people com ­ plained— “ N o n e o f m y friends fo u n d it am using”— a n d so off it goes. N o m en ­ tion o f th e o th e r tho u san d s w ho saw the sketch a n d did n o t com plain.

If 90 p e r cent, o f view ers w ere offended . . . so w hat?

Surely the m o m e n t the 63 w ere offended b y th e B ryan D avies sketch they sh o u ld have sw itched channels or tu rn e d off a n d p layed Scrabble. T h a t w ould h ave been the decent— n o t so say u n h y p o c ritica l— thing to do.

If you a re offended by a television show d o n ’t w atch it; if you are offended

by O Z d o n ’t buy it.

T h ere is n o justification in the w orld fo r cen so rin g “offensive” m aterial, unless the offended a re fo rce d to re ad o r view it.

It is a pleasure, o f course, to h e ar som e o f o u r citizen-censors ta lk d arkly ab o u t “illegitim acy ra te s” and im m orality on th e C o n tin en t. I t ’sa p ity fo r such people th a t A u s tra lia ’s m o rality statistics a re ’n t m o re reassuring. W ith o ver 70 p e r cent, o f A u stra lia n w om en unchast a t m a rria g e it w ould seem th a t ou. stringent censorship h a sn ’t done us m uch good.

B ut even if w e concede th a t c o n ­ tin e n tal E u ro p ea n s a re in som e w ay god­ less p eople leading lives m ad e even m ore scandalous by th eir lack o f censorship and th a t only A nglo-Saxons know how to behave, it w ould seem th at m ost B ritishers un d erg o a so rt o f softening up p rocess on a rriv a l to A ustralia.

In B ritain, they can laugh a t the Q ueen an d re a d L aw ren ce’s “L ady C h a tte rle y ’s L o v er” o r M ille r’s “T ropic o f C a n c e r” .

H ere th ey cannot.

A p p aren tly during th eir long passage to A u stra lia the w hole A nglo-Saxon stock, w hich com prises the m ajo rity of A u stralian s, h ave suddenly becom e te r­ ribly susceptible to the ill-effects o f d ubious m aterial.

Physically we claim to be he-m en; in ­ tellectually we a re infants.

O f course, none will deny th a t the public needs p ro tectio n from libel. N o r fro m obscenity. B ut obscenity in the true legal sense o f th e w ord, i.e., “tending to de p rav e o r c o rru p t”, n o t ju st “offensive”.

If we a re going to call som ething “o bscene” w e m u st b e very c le a r on tw o things: (1) we m ust have a definite idea

No vice ever entered the country.

Once I b u rn t 500 issues of ‘P layboy’ m agazine.

W hen OZ w as released I contacted Gordon & Gotch and com plained

th a t I h ad n ’t been given a copy to read. They told me it w as an in­ te rn a l publication . . . so I ra n g up th e Chief S ecretary and told him that I would never have let OZ into

the country.

o f w h a t “c o rru p tio n ” w ould entail; (2) we m u st be quite sure th a t the m aterial really does c o rru p t.

People h ave a t tim es m ad e all sorts o f w ild statem en ts a b o u t c ertain things c o rru p tin g . W e h ave been told, fo r exam ple, th a t c ertain kinds o f com ics a n d T V p ro g ram m es “c o rru p t” a n d yet w hen people o f a scientific b e n t try to p rove th a t this has happened— m iracle o f m iracles!— th ere never seem s to b e a scrap o f evidence.

I t w ould be very illum inating fo r som e research w o rk e r to tu rn up som ething w hich he can conclusively show has a ctu ally c o rru p te d th en w e w ould know w h a t to avoid in o u r new spapers and m agazines. In the m eantim e, the censors should know w h at they a re talk in g a bout — and, w h a t is m ore, be able to pro v e it— w hen they ru n a ro u n d shouting “o bscene” .

O ne thing th a t certainly does n o t c o rru p t is tru th .

T he law yers say “T h e g re a te r the tru th the g re ater the libel” ; how ever, “T he g re ater the tru th the g re a te r the o bscenity” is a h a rd p ro p o sitio n to m aintain.

Ig n o ran c e is n o to rio u sly the g re at ally o f vice. T h e high co rre latio n s betw een sexual ign o ran ce and sexual prom iscuity

has never failed to am aze the sexologists.

M edical m en, w ho p resum ably “know a ll” , ra re ly show the ill-effects o f th eir sexual sophistication.

In O Z A P R IL there w ere tw o articles w hich caused the g reatest offence: one con cern ed w ith m astu rb a tio n and the o th er w ith a bortion.

In A m e ric a the K insey re p o rt show ed th a t n o less th a n 90 p e r cent, o f the p o p u latio n perio d ically m astu rb a ted . P re ­ sum ably the figures w ould be sim ilar h e re so w hy should th e m en tio n o f an activity— the facts o f w hich a re alm ost universally know n — cause so m uch com plaint?

T h e c o m p la in t ab o u t the ab o rtio n article coincided, ironically enough, w ith a case in the Q u a rter Sessions in w hich a 78-year-old den tist w as sentenced to th ree years gaol fo r carry in g o u t an a b o rtio n th a t killed a girl.

The girl in the case w as 17.

H e r boy frien d w as w ith her, p a id the d en tist £65 (later refu n d ed ) and helped d rag th e body to an adjoining room . H e has been sentenced as a n accessory.

T he d entist h a d no train in g in m edicine and conducted his operatio n s in cham bers w hich police described as disgustingly filthy.

T h e case w as b u ried in the new s­

p a p ers, described as a “m an sla u g h ter” case. O ne w onders w hich is w orse; th a t this so rt o f thing should go o n day in a n d day o u t w ith o u t any o n e bringing it in to the open o r th a t som eone should raise the q uestion o f w h a t is to be done?

T h e conclusion to be d raw n fro m all this is inescapable.

D e m o cra cy in this c o u n try is n o t a c ode to be lived by. It is m erely a catchcry.

P eople have never re ally been con­ v e rte d to the basic ten e t o f dem ocracy th a t peo p le should be allow ed to lead th e ir ow n lives, so long as they do n o t in te rfere w ith others. D espite the g re at d e m o c ratic victory preju d ice a n d in to le r­ a nce a re still th e g re at tw in-curses o f o u r civilisation.

D em o cra cy is a p rin cip le fo r w hich m illions died. Y e t it h a s b a rely survived th e ir sacrifice.

In a w o rld o f dim inishing freedom , o f c o n tin u ed into leran ce, o f persisten t a n ti­ sem itism , o f m an still arm in g against m an , how c o n te m p o ra ry a re those lines o f Southey:

My job is difficult . . . but it has its rew ards . . . . . . I’ve got the biggest collection of filthy books in A ustralia.

“ But what good came o f it at least?”

Quoth Mttle Peterkin, “ W hy that I cannot tell,” said he, “ But ’ twas a famous victory.”

—

R.W .

LAST D A YS!

P L A Y E R ’S

ROMEO ATMD JU LIET produced by Ed A llison, designed by Cedric Flower

Tliursffciy May 2 . Friday May 3 .

Saiimlav M ay I my

%/

jbbt s m w

x jm r / a

OZ, MAY

5

OUT AND

ABOUT

God is in His Heaven Is all well dow n there?

By P trie a R ife J H E light of enthusiasm shines in God’s eyes w hen he recalls the e arly days of C hristianity. As the cigar sm oke d rifts p ast the plush p astel curtains, th e panelled walls, the well-lit M ercator w ith pins to indicate key sales positions, he dis­ cusses th e first thousand years.

“They th o u g h t we w ere a lot of cranks then. Fellow s w ith an idea th a t would never catch on. We had plenty of prophets, but not m any sales.”

He leaned back and smiled quietly a t his own joke.

“N ot th a t they w eren’t first class men, some of them . Moses invented the p ro test m arch, a gim m ick th a t’s only coming into its own today.

“You have to rem em ber th a t they didn’t have th e advertising m edia th a t we have now. They had to go out and m ake them selves known w ithout so m uch as a singing com­ mercial.

“They relied on stu n ts like sm ash­ ing open rocks and looking su r­ prised w hen I let loose a little w ater from inside. We got to know the value of team w ork in those days.

“B ut we couldn’t be satisfied w ith things th e w ay they were. I decided th a t the whole operation needed a shot in th e arm .

“So we ra n a satu ratio n pre-

publicity cam paign, with free bap­ tism s, and people going round say­ ing ‘H e’s coming! H e's com ing!’

“Then I put in a new m anagem ent consultant w ith instructions to find a bran d new board of directors. To m ake sure things w ent sm oothly I gave m y own boy the job.

“F ro m th a t tim e on we never looked back. I called my lad up shortly afterw ard s to congratulate him. The people he left in charge have kept things running ever since.”

God fra n k ly adm its he could never have survived w ithout publicity.

E arly gimmicks like water-intowine and loaves-and-fishes aroused crowd interest. The Rom an stu n t of feeding C hristians to the lions had set people talking, even if it had tem p o rarily created a bad image.

A prom otion book on C hristianity, the Bible, is still one of the w orld’s best sellers. It was toppled from the No. 1 position by Dr. Spock’s book on baby care, but God hopes a film based on the Bible will set th e sales g raph on the w ay up again.

His agents w ere expecting an early settlem ent of a dispute over w hether th e slogan should be “You’ve read the book, now see the picture” or “You’ve seen the pictures, now read the book”.

God adds th a t the publicity has some u n fo rtu n ate aspects. “I find

a lot of it is directed a t me per­ sonally,” he says sadly.

“If I took seriously every Tom, Dick and H arry who said h e’d walk with God I’d spend my whole day p arading up and down arm in arm with the w orld’s tenors.

“Then every tim e a ship sinks they all grind out ‘N earer My God to Thee’. I ’ve told my housekeeper to use it as a signal to m ake up m ore beds.

“We have to employ a chap up here full-tim e collecting the m en­ tions we get in the Press, in films, and in pop songs.

God says a lot of the salesm en have m anaged to build up an indi­ vidual following, com plete w ith per­ sonal m entions in the Press.

“Hugh down here,” he said, ja b ­ bing a t the Sydney flag on the wall map, “gets him self into m ore strife th an Speed Gordon. I open up the papers and there he is saying th e re’s free love a t university, or else that the Queen ought to live in A ustralia.

Som etim es I think I ought to cet the auditors in to see if he’s doing any work.

“We seem to get m ore th an our share of scene stealers in Sydney.

Alan and Gordon are much the sam e, although I th in k Gordon probably shudders him self when th a t Dekyvere w om an tw itters about him every week.

“This publicity is som ething we have to live with. A solid chap like Billy, w ho’s probably got the best sales record in the whole o rg an isa­ tion, can’t seem to shake it off.”

Is God w orried about th e compe­ tition from other religions of the sabotage from the Devil?

He begins by saying th a t compe­ tition is basic to any free enterp rise system . But he believes he offers a superior product, one th a t can lead to g rea te r personal happiness w ith­ out the rigours of other religions.

Sabotage is an o th er m atter.

“He tried to get a t my boy,” he says, his eyes blazing w ith anger.

“F o rty days and fo rty n ights he ham m ered aw ay at him, but I’m proud to say m y lad took it like a m an. We both laugh about it now.

Still, it’s the sort of d irty trick you’d expect.

“W hat about th e new ideas in religion, especially the Bishop of Woolwich’s ‘H onest to God’ ” ?

“I t ’s not m uch different from the w ay petrol com panies advertise. One of them claim s he has a new addi­ tive th a t will revolutionise m otoring.

In fac t it’s th e sam e old petrol. But people think they’re seeing progress because th ey ’ve been told they’re buying som ething new.

“You find th a t n early everybody w ith som ething to sell tries the sam e stunt. Some cig arette com­ panies m a rk e t as m any as five dif­ feren t brands, each w ith th e ir own b rand image.

“The buyers select th e brand im age th a t’s m ost in keeping with th eir own im age, and th a t’s the cigarette they buy. W e’re offering a hundred im ages—ritu al for C atho­ lics, m asochism for M ethodists, cleanliness for B aptists, and so on.

“I t’s all th e sam e religion, and I ’m head m an fo r all the brands, but people are h appier because they think they are being discrim inating.

“And you probably know th a t w hen two rival b rands are operating th ere are m ore sales th a n if they combine to form a single brand.

“The position is exactly th e same w ith us.”

“W hat new developm ents could we expect in th e n e a r fu tu re?

“W e’re alw ays talk in g about sta g ­ ing a second coming. T h at would involve an o th er big prom otion, although we could probably cash in on the spate of religious films at the mom ent.

“I t ’s som ething we haven’t given m uch th o u g h t to.

“B ut you can quote me as saying w e’re alw ays on th e lookout fo r new ideas.”

th a t was . . . APRIL TH IN G S h ave been h aving princes by C a esarian ever since C a esar him self.

W h en on the th ro n e do as the kings do . . . A n d so it’s a th ird fo r la c k ie .

In ’56 Jackie w as p re g n an t w hen Jack w as ru n n in g fo r vice-president (he lost both: election a n d baby) a n d Jackie bore p regnancy rig h t along w ith the presi­ d e n tia l cam paign. O ne snap election com ing up?

Ja c k ie ’s w ays are so m uch the w ays of the w o rld these days th a t this new stroke should really catch on. E lections could tak e on the guise of fertility rites.

He

*

He

D U N TER of the M onth w as Les Haylen, Labour m em ber for Parkes.

In Ja n u a ry Les m ade the follow­ ing predictions for the com m ercial television licences: “ In Sydney the AWA-Email-Bank of N.S.W, group are outright favourites. “ In Melbourne the RichardsonSellick group is the shade of oddson. This group is beautifully bred by pomp and circumstances out of cop the lot. “ In Adelaide the Sir Phillip McBride group is long odds on.

From the powerful Menzies stable, it knows every turn in the course.

“Perth is a rather confused posi­ tion. The current favourite is the local newspaper group. “ In Brisbane Sir Arthur Fadden’s company is such a well-performed candidate that no one will hear of his defeat.”

A t m onth’s end Les had one loss— A usteram a in M elbourne— and one win (in Sydney) w ith his Adelaide and B risbane tips still perform ing beautifully in trackw ork. *

*

*

N ot to be outstripped by a Scot, Rev. A. (“Headlines Alan") Walker leapt into newsprint this month with a novel ex­ planation for the current poor weather: “Christ weeps over Sydney”. *

*

*

Hot Tip from London: T he British R evolution is a t last on its way.

W ith tw o p relim in ary reh earsals b e ­ hind th em — the B attle o f W estm inster and the Spies fo r Peace D em o n stratio n — the people are poised fo r th eir g re at act o f p o litical com ing-of-age. A n d only 200 years behind the F re n c h too.

W h at a film H ollyw ood will m ak e out o f it; the siege o f the T ow er o f L ondon, Bertrand Russell (B ritain’s answ er to V o ltaire) pacifying the ag itato rs and finally a sp ectacu lar pan in on Harold and Dorothy M acM illan in the tum bril. *

*

*

T H E m inting o f a new coin really brings o u t the w him sy.

H arold H olt confided th at he w ould like to see the new m ajo r u n it called an “ a u ster” .

M r. Calweli saw political, if not cap i­ tal, gain in such a m ove: “M r. H o lt is going to call it an au ster— it rem inds him

o f the austerity he has forced on the c o u n try ” .

Mr. Daly (L ab., N .S.W .) suggested “m in g ” , as a p e rm a n e n t re m in d er o f the decline in the value o f m oney since the presen t G o v e rn m en t took office.

Senator Branson (Lib., N.S.W .) sug­ gested calling the m a jo r u n it a “M enzies” a n d the m in o r u n it a “C alw eli”.

W hy n o t ju st call it an “aussie” and p u t a hole in its head?

He

He

*

Baloney Heights: Isn't it strange how som e new spapers have a re a l flair for fe rre tin g o u t the new s and others never seem to get off first base?

T ak e the K illarn ey H eights P a ra d e of H om es, p ro b a b ly the m ost exciting event in the w hole o f A p ril (it ends M ay 5).

E v ery day the H e ra ld and Sun have offered a fe ast o f new sy item s about: how to get th ere, the opening by the P rem ier, w h at buses to catch, the visit

by T an ia R eschke, how to go by car, th e E aste r B onnet P a ra d e, the quickest a ir ro u tes, etc.

R eally c h unky stuff and yet the T ele­ g ra p h a n d M irro r seem to act as though it d id n ’t exist.

D o n ’t they like “W o m an ’s D a y ” o r som ething? *

*

*

And w hen is “ The Move is to the Mirror” going to be countered by “ Stay with The Sun” ?

He

❖

He

JNCIDENTALLY the title of A quatic of the Month has gone to th a t g reat all-rounder, Sir Robert Menzies, for his “to be a trito n am ong the m innow s is not half as bad as being a minnow am ong 36 trito n s” (the No Confidence D ebate of April 4).

He

He

He

M oses A m ong the Bull. Speaking a bout the episode o f the Q ueen sketch on the B ryan D avies Show , Sir Charles M oses to ld the Sunday M irro r: “W e d id n ’t have a single call o r letter o f c o n g ra tu la ­ tio n s.”

Y et w e re a d in the Sunday T elegraph o f the sam e day (A pril 14) th a t “Som e view ers w ro te saying th a t they h a d en­ joyed the sa tire .”

T h e T eleg rap h is the p a p er you can trust. W h at a b o u t Sir C harles? *

*

*

Q R A P P L E R o f the M onth is A id. R. S. Turner, rep resen tativ e o f the u ltr a ­ fashionable K uring-gai W ard o f W ahroonga.

A id. T u rn e r on A p ril 9 grap p led on the floor o f th e K uring-gai C ouncil C h am b ers w ith Aid. Jago, State M .L .A . fo r G o rd o n .

A s the p a ir rose fro m the floor, having been sep a ra ted by six o th er alderm en.

A id. T u rn e r said: “I w ould like to th an k the ald erm en w ho kicked me in the face w hile I w as o n the g ro u n d .”

N ext elections W ah ro o n g a is going to p u t u p a tag team .

— N ELSO N

w r po

“Pack up your troubles in your old kit-bag . . we

ERIC BAUME AS A PLAYW 1U TE ly fO S T o f us have a t least heard o f M r.

E ric B aum e, in a t least one capacity: W ar C o rresp o n d en t, N ew s C o m m e n tato r o f This I B elieve, E xecutive P ro d u c e r at 2G B , P o p u la r Speaker o f m any and diverse sym posia, C om pere o r Judge at E aste r B onnet p arad es, etcetera.

F ew o f us know o f him as a dram atist.

His play And their Eternal H om e (A Com edy o f Faith) w ill receive its first Sydney read in g by the U niversity o f N ew S outh W ales D ra m atic Society w ith­ in the next few weeks.

T hough sub-titled, A Com edy of Faith, it is purely com edy of the classical sense, in th a t everything w orks o u t lovely in the end.

T he them e is an investigation o f the question: w ho rem em b ers and loves the dead o f the tw o w orld w ars? B ut the p la y ’s gim m ick is its tre a tm e n t o f this them e, adequately sum m ed up by one o f the m ain characters:

TREVOR (JU N IO R ): . . . “Blythe S p irit” and all th a t kind of thing.

TREVOR (SE N IO R ): N ever heard of it.

T h e first act takes place m ilitary p u rg a to ry : a m isty F ra n c e, a m isty w h a rf and M ess D eck. T h e rem ain in g set in th e T re v o r ho m e E ngland.

in a kind of battlefield in a d e stro y er’s tw o acts are in Surrey,

AC T O NE Scene 1

A foggy road somewhere in France.

Sounds of explosions, flashes that could be sheet lightning or the colours of shellfire.

An officer is discovered smoking a pipe, humming, dressed in the battledress of World War One. Another officer in World War Two battledress enters, smoking a cigar­ ette, whistling “ Roll Out the Barrel” .

CAPT'. JO H N TREVOR (SEN IO R ): Oh, good m orning.

CAPT. JO H N TREVOR (JU N IO R ): Oh, is it m orning?

TREVOR (SN R .): One w ouldn’t really know, would one?

T hey ta lk a t cross-purposes fo r som e tim e until they realise th a t they are both dead.

TREVOR (J N R .): . . . . but I’ve never seen you before in my life.

TREVOR (SN R .): ( Half to him­ self). You never will see me again in your life.

Each have been killed in th eir respec­

po

w it h

th em

D O U B L E S

tive w ars. B oth a re aged tw enty-four, b o th h ave the sam e nam e. A n d the clim ax o f the discovery: one is the son o f the other!

TREVOR (SN R.): Knew you—why, you caricatu re of George Robey, I ’m your fath er, and I’m the same age as you are, and th an k heavens nobody’s going to h e ar about it.

(He begins to roar with laughter.)

B ut in c ertain ly a n d this a strange

this h e is w rong — people are going to h e a r ab o u t it, in fo rm a tio n is u shered in by figure.

(There is the sound of someone walking, and in a second or two they hear “ Pack up your Troubles in your old Kitbag” . A TYPICAL INFANTRY SOLDIER, . . . caked with mud enters. H e stops singing.

Then com es forward . . .)

H is n a m e is C o rp o ra l W illis, he is a kind o f m in o r arch-angel, sent by Suprem e H .Q . to be th eir b atm an. F o r they a re to be g ran ted leave; to go hom e fo r one day to see th eir fam ilies.

W I L L I S : W e ’a v e n ’t g o t n o G r e n a ­ d i e r G u a r d s B a n d t o m a r c h u s off, s i r , b u t w h e r e v e r w e g o , w e ’d b e t t e r g e t th e re .

Scenes 2 and 3 serve to in tro d u ce th eir com panions on the voyage hom e: an E m b a rk a tio n Officer, a C a m e ro n H igh­ lan d e r (nam ed M iller, a n d R o m an C a th o ­ lic), a C hu rch o f E ngland Padre, a F re n c h Officer o f th e D ra g o o n s and a G e rm an Officer o f the G u a rd s In fan try (who, it transpires, killed T rev o r Senior).

D u rin g the in term in ab le voyage the Padre begins to h ave severe doubts a bout his fa ith and his agony m anifests itself in an alm o st suicidal frenzy. He has lost all purpose in life. But the E.O. calm s th em all by leading the com pany in the Lord’s Prayer. So they disem bark light o f h e a rt to see th eir loved ones; all but the Padre w ho has been m ade the new E m b a rk atio n Officer.

PADRE: E m barkation Officer? (He

is alone, he falls on his knees as the curtain falls slowly. Gunfire is heard before it drops.) So I w as given a

job a fte r all.

SLO W C U R T A IN AC T TWO T he sto ry really starts.

T he scene is the living ro o m at the T re v o r ho m e in F a rn h a m , Surrey. It is 7 a.m . JA N E , 18 years old, is in riding kit, and she hum s as she dusts photos o f h e r g ra n d fa th e r and fa th e r o n the m antlepiece. A corgie, T E E N A , lies n e ar her.

She obligingly has a page o f exposi­ tion telling us ab o u t the state of the fam ily:— She is the d a u g h te r o f T rev o r Ju n io r, the y ear is 1959, h e r m o th er is going to re -m a rry in several days, her g ra n d m o th er (now aged 68) has never re-m arried .

A nd then, en ter C O R P O R A L W IL L IS to sh a tte r the peace o f the household.

Any so rt o f n a rra tiv e precis a t this stage breaks dow n. T hese are the episodes: JA N E is h a p p y to see her ancestors, this is w hy they are here:

W ILLIS: T here’s no dates about Suprem e Command. So they ju st w ant you to m eet them because you’ve never stopped loving them and you never saw them . Some people fo rget the soldiers. . . .

And you Miss Jan e are the E ngland th a t counts. D usting th eir pictures.

P ray in g on A rm istice Day. Wf know, you see.

M A JO R G E O R G E L O W E (form erly L ife G u a rd s) is n o t pleased to see them : he is a b o u t to m arry T R E V O R J U N ­ IO R ’S wife.

( George looks at Trevor Junior, looks again, goes white, jumps out of the armchair and falls flat on his face in a dead faint.)

GEORGE: (A fter reviving) Well,

good heavens, I don’t know w hat to say.

M RS T R E V O R SN R . does know w hat to say, and says it; b u t like her g ra n d ­ d a u g h te r she is som ehow pleased a t see­ ing her husband and son again.

MRS. TREVOR SNR.: The dead ought not to retu rn , except in h o rro r books like the story of the “M onkey’s P aw ” . . . I am a g ra te ­ ful, happy woman, widow if you like. Sex or too much drink never interested me. John used to call me a cold frog, said I read a new spaper m aking love.

MRS. TREVOR JNR. is, understand­ ably, the least happy about all this.

MRS. TREVOR JN R .: F o r God’s sake, stop all this nonsense. I can’t stand it—I h ate it all. I t’s a horrible business . . . Anyhow, ours w as a quick w artim e m arriage. I don’t th in k I ever loved the m an.

(THE BUZZER

SOUNDS.)

(This b uzzer w orks o n a different p rin ­ ciple to Sam uel B eckett’s bell — it sounds w hen a c h ara cte r tells a lie — how ever, the influence o f this d ra m a tist is very strong here.)

T hey settle dow n to play B ridge and w ait fo r m idnight (w hen all ghosts either re tu rn o r com e ou t) as the a ct finishes.

ACT THREE T h e setting is the sam e as the p re ­ vious act.

M RS. T R E V O R JU N IO R repents and appologises fo r the scene she had. T he fam ily is reconciled again.

T he telephone rings, it is fo r W ILT IS, he answ ers it.

(He puts down the telephone. He looks shattered. He walks to the window, a funny little man, but a great little man.) [t w ould a p p ea r th a t this little fo ray up the Styx to the realm s o f light was

not planned by Supreme Command at all but by the “Enemy”. He just wanted to cause bitterness and unhappiness.

JA N E : ( Rocking with laughter) W ell, th a t’s about the biggest sell S a ta n ’s ever had. I thought there w as som ething screwy about the w hole business . . . But if ever there w as a victory (she holds her father’s hands ) it w asn’t gained by th e people Willis is frightened about.

A ll th a t is needed now is the re-entry o f the m ysterious P ad re o f th e first act w ho h a d been rig h t all the tim e. T hey do n o t say the L o rd ’s P ra y e r this tim e to h e ra ld the d e p artu re.

(JANE fixes drinks.)

JA N E : (standing centre) To God! W ith gratitude.

ALL: To God! A nd

the

spirits

descend,

leaving

m u ltitu d e o f thoughts, im pressions, e m o ­ tions, d o u b ts a n d resolves. T he play is best sum m ed u p by the a u th o r’s final directions:

(The men group at right upper en­ trance, in a bright white light, waving and saying farewell to JANE, left, who stands, hands be­ hind back, legs akimbo . . . All stage lights flicker and die. There is no more sound. The lights com e on after a few seconds to reveal JANE, centre, head raised, arms extended in the em pty room.)

JA N E: (Very softly. The clock starts to chime midnight.) And th eir

e tern al home.

(The la st phrases of a hym n are heard w ith choir and organ as) THE CURTAIN SLOWLY FALLS — L IN U S

a

he best of donald duck cOMEDAY when you’re old and cackly and w rinkled as autum n and 'jjjv shrivelled as prunes and your head hum s w ith old hym ns and ticks w ith the tick of a g ran d daddy clock, and your eyes a re blooded w ith tim e, when your w rist curls back and your toes ro t off and you can sm ell yourself a m ile away, w hen your dandruff tu rn s brow n and your thum bnails yellow, w hen a t la st you care enough to rem em ber, in pain, the days you cared not a jot, you m ay then, in th e afterw ard-w orld, as I do now, in th e m eanw hile world, go out w ith a pain in your head and buy a copy or tw ain of “The Best of D onald Duck”.

[Y O U m ay read awhile I and snuckle, as of f'-m olden tim es, a t D onald’s Inornsw oggling devil-mayta k e - it - b u t - I ’m - still— George W ashington-tothe-true-blue-core as he p alpitates and curses round the landscape like a cottonpuff m eteor enterin g stiffer layers of atm osphere, but a fte r a tim e you will get to be filled w ith a nam eless dread. Your ripening Agnosticism blossoms into fullbosomed h o rro r and disgust, by God, disgust.

(CONSIDER a few things. Donald is a drake who calls him self a duck. His neighbours are dogs. He associates w ith mice who w ear eye­ lashes and rouge and trou sers w ith tail-holes and w hite gloves and puffy little yellow booties and are ten tim es bigger th a n the biggest ra t. The ducks a re th e sam e size as the dogs, who (w ith the exception of Pluto, who is not ju st a dog, he’s a dogdog) in tu rn a re not m uch bigger th a n the mice and m uch sm aller th a n th e cats (Black Pete, the Beagle Boys) and they all speak the sam e language and drive cars.

Bob Ellis ventures into D isneyland EVERYBODY w e a r s trousers except the ducks, who go naked in the world and a re not asham ed. They w ear the top half of sailor suits only. B ut (and m ark this) if they ever tak e a bath, they invariably em erge w ith a towel around th eir bottom half, betraying a dorm ant m odesty in spite of the pervading dogm a th a t they have nothing to hide.

ONALD is courting Daisy, who is his cousin. Gladstone is D onald’s cousin and he is a goose. Huey, Dewey and Louie are D onald’s nephew s but th eir paren ts are never seen or even discussed. One p re­ sum es D onald found them as eggs on th e doorstep and hatched them him self. Yet in one episode G lad­ stone and Donald pelt each other w ith eggs (think about th a t fo r a w hile if you can bear to) and in a n o th er they all eat barbecued chicken.

T hey keep forg ettin g they are m erely poultry themselves, albeit civilised. On one occasion the antiphonal-m inded b rats peer up a t U nca and say— “Yes and if” “We had w ings” “We could fly.” q

^ A C T U A L L Y their pinions have m utated into little arm s: but they have only three fingers on each hand. Some are m ore transm ogrified th a n oth ers: G ladstone has w avy hair, Scrooge h as sideburns and some­ tim es teeth. Scrooge (who claim s to be D onald’s uncle, though his nam e

is in fa c t ikZcDuck, and is neither G ran’m a’s b ro th e r nor her son) is highly civilised. He w ears a top hat, specs, and shoes on the top of his feet. But no ears. Sideburns but no ears. His specs sit on his broad duckbill and do not slide. Donald w ears a sailor suit and never says why, or w here, the bell bottom ed trousers got to. The boys never go to school, show in terest in girls or even grow up. The age of everyone concerned is highly contentious.

Scrooge (an old Klondike m an and a n atu ralised Scot) is over ninety but spry. G ran’m a, who belongs to the generation before Scrooge (m aking h e r a t least 110) still chandles corn. Donald is over th irty but still single. D aisy is like Della S treet. She’ll w ait till the sea runs dry. But she’s getting a m ite des­ p erate now. She’s prem editating wedlock w ith a goose. All right, I suppose, but not the m ost conducive th in g to com patibility and bliss.

I t’s plainly symbolic. I t’s got to be. I t’s a parable about m an striving out of bestiality into divinity. He denies his bestiality and betrays his fellow beasts. Donald is Everym an: ju st a guy. Scrooge is Ambitious Man, th e A rtist. The boys are the Greek-chorus-cum - guardian - angels (w ith th e ir junior woodchuck brand of modified m agic), G ladstone is the A ntichrist and Daisy the Virgin Mary.

O therw ise they got no excuse.

Q N E day, later, when we bomb ourselves silly and get dug up by scholars w ith spades “The best of Donald D uck” will be the “H am ­ let” of its day. N othing th a t compli­ cated can be th a t simple. I t’s got to have a Message, or w e’re lost.

I t’s w orth buying anyway. Much b e tte r value th an two helpings of F ulton Sheen on the pay-TV, or even five paddlepops (which now come in butterscotch, so this is praise indeed).

it w a s n ’t as m u ch a ball as everyone was hoping. B ut the g o d d a m enthu siasm was there.

Even Frank Hardy turned up.

You know, Frank and the bloke who wrote that novel about Packer or whatever his name was. “Power Without Lottery”, I think.

No. He didn’t actually march, but he’s a bloke with spirit, the Com— , I mean the other demonstrators for peace must have been proud of him. Do you know he told us that his seven-year-old daughter turned up to march? Couldn’t keep her away, he said.

Now if I had a kid— not that I have, pills and all that y’know, 1 wouldn’t want Caitlin to lose her figure before she’s thirty— I'd like that kind of loyalty.

Just shows how big the issues are if a seven-year-old can under­ stand them.

Bernie Preak, you know Bernie from the Psych. Department, he sent his kid too. No, the one he had by that art student from Albury just after we all moved to the George.

Five years old, marching along with a sign round her neck reading “ Don’t Kill My Unborn Children".

Bernie didn’t like that at first, he doesn’t object to abortion, but his wife thought it was so moving they let the kid wear it.

Didn’t you like the slogans? I wrote most of them. Well, not all of them perhaps, we got some in the mail from Bertrand Russell.

We get telegrams from him, you know. I’ve got three. Originals.

BOB HUGHES COVERS THE BIG CAMPAIGN

Snitched them from Lance Sharkey when his back was turned, on the platform last year.

I sent one back to Russell to autograph it. But I never got it back.

1 suppose it went astray in the post.

Oh, I’m good at slogans. Used to write them for the Libertarian Society.

I’ve been politically active ever since I got to Uni. I guess that must have been before your time, or after it, or you’d remember me. I stuck out my tongue at a cop once.

Filthy authoritarians, I suppose they’re just waiting to grab us to­ day, you can see they’ve got their tear-gas hidden.

See that one over there? Lhe one that yawned? Trying to put us into a sense of false security. Well, we’ll see.

Another time I organised a big demonstration against Menzies out at Mascot. We got two cars together and went out in them. Saw him for at least a minute, too. I yelled out “Fascist!” and I swear he looked at me, he turned his head, right be­ tween the eyes he looked at me.

God, that was a rewarding moment. H e’ll remember.

Well, yes, I suppose the march did straggle a bit. So what about that bloke in a loincloth carrying the crucifix with CND on it? I can’t see it'll offend people.

Look, I think you’re being god­ dam offensive. Of course I’m not a Christian. I’m an intellectual. Well, 1 mean I’m not quite sure whether there is one or not. I don’t know.

I suppose you could call me a radical.

All right, so it didn’t look too organised. But it was. No, none of the organisers marched. I know there was a par about that in the paper. You can’t expect them to

march, they'd been working so hard they needed a bit of rest.

Anyway, it was pretty spon­ taneous. You should see the job some of the blokes did at the last minute.

See those ones over there? The eighteen guys in blue doublebreasted pinstripe suits carrying that ten-foot-by-eight banner that reads BOILERM AKERS’ UNION DE­ FIES PIG-IRON BOB FOR PEACE AND FRIEN D SH IP W ITH PEO PLE’S REPUBLICS TH E W ORLD OVER? You wouldn’t think that was whipped up at the last moment, would you?

Y ou’d be surprised how many oldies turned up. Mind you, they didn’t sing or anything, they only walked. Funny thing, that.

We stick together, you know.

Have you heard our marching songs? I ain’t gonna study war no more, I aint gonna study war no more, I aint a gonna study, erp . . . well, it sounds better when you get fifty of us singing it in chorus.

Oh, you’ve heard it? You’d know then.

We’ve got a good one that goes to the tune of the People’s Flag, too.

I suppose you think this is a Communist front, don’t you? I thought so. All you Fascists think in terms of labels.

Of course it’s useful to march.

At least twenty people watched us last Sunday. Think of what that did to their consciences!

The bit I liked best was the con­ cert. I haven’t enjoyed myself so much since Harry Hooton kicked the bucket. Those Fascist sods at the Chevron don’t know what they’re missing. I mean, who would you rather listen to, Johnny Earls or Francis Faye?

We have sincere musicians. Look at Graeme Bell. H e’s an idealist. We tried to get Ray Price, but he cost too much; I told them he was a cynic anyway.

T hat’s why we knocked back the offer from Lee Gordon to put us on at the Stadium. People mightn’t take us seriously.

I don’t know why people even talk about Communism and us.

You should have seen us at the con­ cert. Those smart bastards on the “Bulletin” think you can tell a Communist on the spot, like he had horns or something, but I can tell you that if the placards hadn’t been there you wouldn’t have been able to tell the difference. Anyway, we’re all people, aren’t we? They don’t have to be wrong on every issue, do they?

I don’t know what happened to the donations after they sent round the hat— some things, like peace, have to be built on trust.

Yes, of course I’m a pacifist.

Well, I suppose I am. I mean if you gave me a machine-gun I might fight, but I rather draw the line at pressing the button. I don’t know what the world’s coming to. If the R.S.L. has its way we’ll all be fightinc the Indonesians soon.

No, of course I don’t like the R.S.L. Mob of Fascists, no mistake about it. All they know how to do is follow the leader. I hate herd in­ stincts. That’s why I joined the march.

You walk along with a thousand or so individualists like yourself and hold the right banners— it really gives you a sense of belonging. As an intellectual, I mean. Do? What on earth d’you mean, what do we do after the march?

Good God, man, don’t you know what liberalism means?

A

tavistic

Rites . . .

A N Z A C D ay bo th ers som e people, and o n e o f the b o th erin g things a b o u t it is th a t it seem s such a p arad o x . Y ou have y o u r beginning in the au stere cold o f first light and solem nly co m m em o rate th e dead. T h en y o u have a p a ram ilita ry p a rad e th ro u g h the city. A fte r th at, the serious business o f the day— q uite w ide­ spread heavy drinking, a n d som e in ­ frin g em en t o f the G am in g law s. It is a p ro g ram m e o f activities we certainly d o n ’t follow every day.

T h ere is a n o th e r p a ra d o x too: a day th a t w as instituted by A u stra lia n s to unite all A u stra lia n s in com m on em otions a n d observances seem s to p ro ­ duce a lm o st as m u ch dissension as h a r ­ m ony— a t least, if we tak e M r. A lan S eym our’s play as a fa ir in dication o f c u rre n t opinions.

T he younge m en w an t to condem n w h a t they th in k is sentim ental m ilitarism a n d d ru n k e n hypocrisy in th eir elders; and som e o f th eir elders seem to think th a t the y oung pups have forgotten, if they ever knew , w h at the w ords h o n o u r, sacrifice, m atesh ip a n d glory m ean. B oth sides in the c o n troversy— w hich has been b itte r a t tim es— co u ld profit fro m a little reflection.

Y oung m en m ig h t find th a t being shot a t on b a re steep hills is an interesting experience th a t changes y o u r ideas a bout a lo t o f things. O ld er m en m ight re m e m ­ ber th a t th ere w as a tim e w hen they w ere young too, and d id n ’t yet b elong th e the E stablishm ent. T hey m ig h t rem em b er also th a t they used to com plain enough ab o u t “the g en erals” and “the politicians” w ho rep resen ted th e o ld er g en eratio n in 1915. C h u rch ill and Sir Ia n H a m ilto n p ro b a b ly cam e in fo r m o re criticism in A u stralia th a n E n v er P a sh a and L im an von Sanders ever did.

B ut even if peo p le w ere m uch m ore reaso n ab le th a n they actu ally are, A nzac D ay m ight still be an irrita n t a n d a pa rad o x . Y o u w ould still have the c o n ­ trasts— the som bre ferocious p a st and the c o m fo rtab le boozy present, the piety a n d the insobriety, the solem nity and the squalor. A t least, th a t’s w h a t y o u ’d seem to have, unless y o u could place A nzac D a y in a w id er c u ltu ral setting.

A n d you can d o th a t if you th in k o f it n o t as “th e one day o f th e y e a r” b u t as a p o p u lar festival like E aste r, C hristm as, and N ew Y ear. A ll these holidays have sim ilar pro g ram m es; they all conform to a single paradoxical type.

T ak e E aste r. I t is the m o st im p o rta n t festival in the C h ristia n year, and religious p re p a ra tio n s fo r it sta rt weeks ahead. C h ristian s deny them selves all sorts o f things th a t th ey n o rm ally enjoy.

T hey p u t off th eir w eddings. T hey attend long cerem onies. T hey go to ch u rch at

paganism and you h o u rs th a t they w ould usually think th o ro u g h ly inconvenient. Som e people go to ch u rch tw ice o r m ore a t E aster; an d even irreg u lar church-goers put them selves to special trouble.

B ut a fte r th e religious duties— festivity.

Y o u give each o th er c hocolate eggs (a thing you d o n ’t do a t any o th e r tim e in th e year), a n d you m ay exchange m ore expensive presents too (a thing w hich the shop-keepers love). A n d if you go to c h u rch o n E aste r Sunday and to the races on E aste rn M onday, no one c o m ­ plains. I f y o u go b o th to ch u rch and to the Show — a m o n u m e n t to c o m m e r­ cialism a n d secular vulgarity if there was ever one— no o n e com plains. A m illion p eople w ent to the Show this year, a n d n o d o u b t m an y o f th em w ent to ch u rch too.

T hey did b o th things w ith im punity: no one w ill w rite a n arg u m en tativ e play ab o u t it. Y e t the p a tte rn o f austerity c om bined w ith frivolity is the sam e as on A nzac D ay.

T ake C hristm as. If ever a religious festival w as th o ro u g h ly m ixed up w ith secular c elebrations, th a t’s it. C hristm as is one o f the h igh p oints o f the C hristian year, a n d y e t it is a season w hen there is m o re to leran ce o f drunkenness and m ild d iso rd e r th an a t any o th er tim e.

A gain m an y people go to church; but w hen can y o u m o re publicly kiss o th er m en ’s wives th a n u n d e r the m istletoe?

W hen c an m an ag in g directors m ore safely dance w ith th e ir teenage typists?

A n d w hen c an office bosses m o re openly tak e th e ir secretaries on to th eir knees?

Y o u go to solem n ch u rch services in the m o rn in g — som etim es the very early m orning— b u t a fte r th a t is done, you go hom e a n d eat the m o st prolonged, elab o rate, a n d heavy m eal o f the entire year. A n d everyone know s the so rt of things th a t p e o p le get u p to on N ew Y e a r’s E ve; y e t J a n u a ry 1 is also a religious festival, a n d in th e C atholic C h u rch a t least is a h oly D a y o f O bliga­ tion. It is a n o th e r exam ple o f the sam e p aradox: au sterity a n d solem nity c eleb ra ­ tion a n d frivolity.

H isto rian s o f religion can supply an explanation. T hey say th a t sim pler societies th a n o u r ow n th in k th a t the life o f the co m m u n ity com es in leases, w hich expire a t re g u la r intervals and m u st be renew ed. A t c ertain tim es in the year, the w h o le c om m unity p articipates in the e x p ira tio n o f the lease, and they sym bolise it by auterities o f one kind or an o th e r and religious cerem onials.

T h en w hen the new lease is assured and begun, they celebrate th a t w ith festivities a n d frivolities th a t are neither

allow ed n o r d ream ed o f a t o rd in ary tim es. T h e p a tte rn can be fo u n d in v a rio u s fo rm s all o ver the w orld. It is p a rtly m agical.

A u stra lia n s have inh erited this ancient, essentially a g ric u ltu ra l p a tte rn from E urope, b u t they now m ake increasingly little sense o f it. In E u ro p e th e great ends a n d beginnings are E a ste r (approxi­ m ately the spring equinox) a n d C h rist­ m as (the w in ter solstice). A t those tim es the cosm ic cycle, the ru ral ro u n d , and the litu rg ical y e ar all co-incide in a very im pressive a n d satisfying way.

But n o t in A ustralia. H ere, the seasons shade into each o th e r w ith o u t m uch sense o f change. ePople send each o th er p ictu res o f snow -m en a n d sing “Jingle B ells”, b u t C h ristm as D a y is o ften hot a n d sultry. A n d E aster, w hen w e ex­ change eggs and E aster bunnies as sym bols o f new life, is the sam e tim e w hen w e e at the last o f the grapes and p u t aw ay the su rfb o a rd s and bikinis.

T he old c a le n d a r and the old custom s a re o u t o f place in the new land.

A nzac D ay is, in som e w ays, an atte m p t to a d a p t an a n cien t ag ricu ltu ral festival p ro g ram m e to a n histo rical event o f the tw en tieth cen tu ry . I t w orked for a w hile w hen G allip o li w as still fresh in p eo p le’s m ind. N ow th a t histo rical event is only h alf-rem em b ered , now th a t we m ostly live in cities, now th a t we have a different seasonal p attern , the festival p ro g ram m e seem s less and less relevant to anything. By the y e ar 2015 A nzac D ay w ill b e a n anom aly, o r else it will be co nverted into som ething else.

T h e la st v eteran s o f N ew G u in e a and K orea and M alaya will eith er be too old to get up a t 3 a.m . and stan d in M artin Place, o r else they w ill be dead. A nzac D ay w ill th en have n o fra m e a t all to su p p o rt it.

B u t w hile it is still w ith us A n z ac D ay serves as a re m in d er th a t n o t everything we do is exclusively conditioned by tw en tieth c en tu ry A u stralia. U neasiness over A nzac D a y is p a rt o f a w id er and m o re pervasive uneasiness. T h a t u n easi­ ness springs fro m the feeling th a t we are still in som e w ays trying to do old-w orld things in th e new w orld, fro m the feel­ ing th a t we are still a E u ro p ea n c o m ­ m unity, though isolated to the south of Asia.

W e still cling to the custom s o f the ancient, ru ra l, E u ro p ea n past, b u t we can m ake less and less sense o f them . It will be interesting to see w ah t has h a p ­ pened to C h ristm as and E aster by 2015.

C heck it, if y o u ’re a ro u n d to see.

‘Pro Bono Publico'

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SHf\ZP

An authentic survey o f Sydney’s most popular socialities, compiled by an independent O Z reporter.

Position in the charts is based on a quantitative and qualitative analysis o f appearances in the daily press.

Social Top T w en ty

Position L ast W eek

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10.

11 .

12 .

13.

14.

15.

16.

17.

18.

19.

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As

Mrs. John Laslo Anne van Bochove ijMiss Nicholina Ralston )M r. Peter Kuner \Miss Caroline Drury /Mr. Dennis O ’Neil Mrs. Strath Playfair Mrs. Norman Hill Robert (Robin?) Ashton Mrs. Elsa Jacoby Mrs. “Bubbles” Ayres Mrs. Bill Edwards Mrs. “Wiska” Listwan Mr. John Lance Dianne Klippel Mrs. Leith Myerson Mrs. Doris Austin Mr. Leslie Walford Lady Berryman Mr. Dickie Keep Mr. Mervyn Horton Mrs. Nola Dekyvere

14

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11 8 7 17

P ainters E xhibition at the B laxland G a l­ lery. A dd to this num erous nondescript m entions and the quantity, if not quality, ensures M rs. L. top rating.

R O O M I N G tow ards the top o f the ch arts this m o n th is a co u n try visitor hailing all the w ay fro m N ew tow n.

T h ere ’s a bit o f m ystery su rrounding his n am e a t the m om ent. W hile the S unday T eleg rap h re p o rte d th a t Robert Ashton atten d ed an E aster cocktail party (1 4 /4 /6 3 ), he appeared as Robin in the M irror (1 4 /4 /6 3 ). N ev er m ind Robin (R obert). A rose by any o th er nam e w ould sm ell as sweet.

U N F O R T U N A T E L Y holding her No. 1 position was a task beyond Mrs. Jacoby. S trangely enough the large photo o f her at R andw ick in the Sun H erald (1 4 /4 /6 3 ), w as the m ain reason fo r her dow nfall. T hey q uoted her as w earing a silk beret w hen even the Sunday T ele­ g rap h realised it was “a helm et o f shock­ ing pink osprey fe ath ers” and th at it was her co at th at w as m ade o f silk.

Such confusions am ong h e r press agents m eans th at Mrs. J. ju st isn’t devoting enough energy to public relations.

M RS. AY ER S continues to m ake the ch arts on the strength o f the n am e alone — “B ubbles” ! L iving up to her them e song “I ’m fo rev e r blow ing” , she w as “p a rticu la rly pleased to m ake the a n n o u n ce m e n t o f an engagem ent” at the T ow n and C o u n try Ball (S.H. 1 4 /4 /6 3 ).

J 'M so rry to note th at Leith Myerson and Doris Austin have slipped dow n the ch arts this m onth. T here was a tem ­ p o ra ry split up in the team w hen D oris upped and offed to the East, while Leith battled on as best she could alone.

N ow I'm glad to announce th ey ’re to ­ gether again in yet a n o th e r farew ell buffet d in n er p a rty w here they are joined

by M arn o Parsons. “ It is a three-sided affair" M arno quipped to Di (S.H. 2 1 /4 /6 3 ) . T his w ill be the second tim e ro u n d for D oris, and I can only hope th a t it w ill be even m o re profitable th an the first.

W E, all

m ake m istakes and I'd be the first to a d m it m ine. I w o n ’t deny f was shocked by Merv H orton’s lightning fall in the ch arts this m onth. His only a p p earan ce w as in a crow d scene.

“O thers I saw at the party w ere . . .

M ervyn H orton . . .” (H edda H olt.

S.M. 1 4 /4 /6 3 ). I t’s alw ays sad to see a g re at sta r fallen on bad tim es but I know we will all be looking fo r a com eb ack next m onth.

L E S L IE W A LFO R D gets m y n o m in a ­ to r exhibitionist o f the m onth. He was sta r p e rfo rm e r at D ennis O 'N eil’s fay Point P iper Pirate Party on the 14th o f this m o n th , dressed in “tatty old halfm asts, a b rocade w aistcoat . . . and a chain o f the chain gang v ariety aro u n d his a n k le .” (H edda H olt S.M. 2 1 /4 /6 3 ).

C ap tain H ook o r T inkerbell, Leslie?

J O H N I.A N C E has hit the big tim e this m o n th as one o f the ow ners of the N a nook, a new re stau ra n t. T he o p en ­ ing was splashed all over the social pages.

T h e re ’s nothing like turn in g y our dinner parties into a paying proposition, is there John?

g A B S PL A Y F A IR and Joan Hill have com e out o f the tom b for their annual resurrection. B ab’s husband. Strath, is p resid en t o f the R .A .S. a n d she has m ade g re at social capital o u t o f this as hostess to m an y large scale functions for our c o untry cousins. Jo an , as president of the P eter Pan Ball com m ittee looked so eleg an t in her “em erald d ra p ed chiffon” (S.T. 7 / 4 /6 3 ) th at w e’d like to see m ore o f her. It’s a pity th a t E aster com es only once a year.

^ F T E R such a glow ing w rite-up last m o n th it’s disappointing to see th a t Dianne Klippel has fallen tw o places.

Still Di (S.H. 1 4 /4 /6 3 ) tells m e “K lippie” was a big h it a t the M elbourne U ni.

C o m m en cem en t B all a n d th a t she’s d y ­ ing to tell all h e r friends ab o u t it. E ven so w hen you have to go in ter-state to m ix with the intellectuals you c a n ’t really expect y o u r ra tin g to rise.

JS^O. 20 this m o n th is still w ell know n colu m n ist N o la Dekyvere. It's h ard to know ju st w here to place this long established artiste on the charts. U ntil recently I w ould have had no hesitation in p u ttin g h e r high up. B ut 99 p e r cent, o f N o la ’s m entions have been in her ow n colum n. T his m ay explain h e r new n ick-nam e P a y o la N ola. I t ’s a pity to see a socialite w ho once believed in p u b ­ licity fo r p u b licity ’s sake, go com m ercial.

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2 20

usual, N o . 1 o n the ch arts this m o n th is a m ixed bag. O n one hand M rs. L aszlo appears in dull group p hotos (A u stralian W o m a n ’s W eekly, A pril 24, S ./H ., 2 1 /4 /6 3 ) a n d on the o th er h an d th ere is the excellent picture o f h e r a t the o pening o f T he Y oung

H arry Seidler’s FBinetional 1 gliness

L 1KE.an

upended h am m er-h ead shark a gainst the h o rizo n at dusk, the Blues P o in t T ow ers hits the n o rth w a rd bound c o m m u ter in the eyes a fte r a busy day a t the office. P erhaps the office he w orks in is situated in the m etal cage on Benelong P o in t called the C ivil and Civic B uilding, w hich in terstate visitors som e­ tim es p o in t to a n d say “w hen is th a t b uilding going to be finished?” P erhaps he has friends w ho live a t Ith a c a G a r­ dens, E liz ab e th Bay w hich sails in m id a ir above the blue o f the h a rb o u r like a co n crete m eccano set.

A n d w ho is the m an w ho m a ste r­ m inded all these buildings, as w ell as m any o th ers dottin g th e Sydney scene?

B orn in V ienna in 1923 H a rry Seidler studied u n d e r W alter G ro p iu s a t H a r­ v ard a fte r W o rld W ar II and obtained his M a ste r’s degree. In 1948 he entered his n am e on the ro ll in Sydney a n d has been practisin g here ever since. H aving rid d en the storm o f early disputes w ith the M a ste r B uilders’ A ssociation and irate m u n icip al councils, he is in 1963 now a t the top o f the a rc h ite c tu ra l la d ­ der, being generally recognised as our fo rem o st a vant-garde a rch ite c t as well as being m arried to tall, p re tty Penelope, d a u g h te r o f C live E vatt.

N ow th a t the b a ttle fo r m odernism in arch ite c tu re h a s been largely w on, it is tim e, I thin k , to sta rt looking c riti­ cally a t the w o rk o f individual A u stra ­ lian architects. M erely the fact th a t an arch itect is progressive does n o t ipso facto m ea n th a t his w o rk is aesthetically pleasing. A n a rch ite c t such as H a rry Seidler w ho is responsible fo r the A u s­ tra lia S quare p ro ject, the M elbourne O lym pic S tadium and P o o l as w ell as th e buildings outlin ed above and m any c o n te m p o ra ry hom es and o th er projects, is obviously having an im p o rta n t in­ fluence o n o u r day-to-day living.

W h at are principles?

M r.

S eidler’s

aesthetic

In his book “H ouses, In terio rs and P ro je cts” , first published in 1954, he

By GEOFFREY L E H M A N N w rites, "D ec o ratio n should be O F a thing not O N a thing. A rio t o f flow ery p a tte rn s so p revalent to d ay only suc­ ceeds in destroying the fo rm o f the o b jec t to w hich they are applied and result generally in a tasteless con g lo m ­ e ra tio n o f shapes . . . T his applies no less to every object o f use in the house, such as crockery, cutlery, ash trays, etc.

E ach o f these should be a pleasure to use and behold, how ever hum ble their value. L et there be no useless ‘cut glass’ and tasteless knick-knacks.”

M r. Seidler is th erefo re suspicious of stone facing o r o f any attem pts to dis­ guise lift tow ers. T his ap p ro ach has q uite interesting effects on his dom estic arch ite c tu re . F o r the M iss M uffit brick A u stralian box bungalow M r. Seidler has substituted airy m etal and tim ber cubes o f space suspended on steel sup­ p orts and stone bases. E xpanses o f glass rep lace poky w indow s. V ertical m etal louvres are used as a m o re pra ctic a l sun p ro tec tio n th a n o u r hallow ed V ene­ tian blinds. O ften side w alls and ro o f p ro jec ts to shade a w hole w all o f glass, a n d M r. Seidler is m u ch m o re aw are of the individuality o f o u r clim ate th a n the trad itio n alists were.

H is houses are pleasant, even if ra th e r sp artan .

H ow ever I am n o t so fo n d o f his larg e r buildings. M any o f these look as th o u g h they h ave n o t been finished and do n o t em ploy tim b e r and stone in the w ay th a t his houses do, to relieve the h arshness o f the basic concept. A cres o f m eta l louvres on a p ublic building offend th e eye and lo o k bitsy. H is basic P u ritan ism creates relentless m on o to n y w hen em ployed over wide areas.

U ndisguised lift tow ers stare at one m ercilessly from the sky and M r. Seidler in his d arin g space-gym nastics often seem s to have juggled aw ay the h u m an elem ent. It is h u m an to w a n t “useless cut-glass a n d tasteless knick-knacks” as, a fte r all, w h a t use is a n appendix? Stone

facing is devious, b u t th en so is h u m an natu re.

I q u arrel, too, w ith M r. S eidler’s co lo u r theories. In his book h e states th a t b e­ cause o f the com plications o f m odern living, co lo u rs should b e sim ple to assist relaxation, w ith b ro a d expanses o f n e u t­ ra l colours, w hite o r grey, in w hich “float” o ccasional pieces o f prim ary colour.

M r. S eidler’s use o f colour has alw ays rem in d ed m e o f la te r M ondrian, and in fact M ondrian is one o f the tw o o r th ree artists re p ro d u ced in his book.

H ow ever is sim plicity necessarily re ­ laxing? I find M o n d ria n ’s sim plicity p ro ­ foundly disturbing, precisely because it is so sim ple. O ne can sum up a w hole M on d rian p ainting a t a glance and after th a t there is nothing o f interest to occupy the eye. M o n d ria n is sim ple. L ike death.

In a F a irw e ath er p a in tin g how ever the w arm com plexity o f the surface with calligraphy dancing on dissolving planes o f light is p ro fo u n d ly satisfying. Y ou feel the pain tin g has m o re to offer th an you can extract.

I feel th a t M r. S eidler’s c o lo u r th e o r­ ies a re a negative solution to the p ro b ­ lem o f b a d taste. H e provides a read y m ade fo rm u la by w hich the average m an can avoid tizz a n d a higgledypiggledy excess o f colour. H ow ever n o thing really creative in term s o f c o l­ o u rs can possibly arise from his theories.

T he new sum ptuous F ish e r L ibrary, w ith its topaz-coloured glass, is, I feel, a fine re fu ta tio n o f his argum ents.

A n evangelist in his desperate search a fte r sim plicity freq u en tly finishes up w ith neuroses w hich are g re ater th an the neuroses he was trying to avoid.

T h e C hinese po tters show ed g re at c unning and insight w hen they in te n ­ tionally alw ays left som e flaw in each w ork.

Life is com plex.

Buildings should be as com plex as life . . . a fte r all, w ho w ants to live in a w ell-lit coffin?

APPROACHING THE T ROP I CS ly/fO ST o f H enry M iller’s books are b a n n ed in A u stralia, and one o f the w orst things ab o u t ban n ed books is the furtive queueing u p fo r them . T he e m ­ phasis shifts inevitably fro m w hether they are w o rth re ad in g to the fa c t th a t they a re co n tra b an d . T his leads schoolboys o n one h a n d to u n d e rlin e the h o t p a s­ sages, a n d academ ics on th e o th er to d efend M iller on ra th e r irrelev a n t spirit­ u a l grounds. O thers again, o f course, d am n his w orks on official assurance th a t they are obscene.

In this article I shall deal m ainly w ith M ille r’s c u rre n tly c ontroversial books, Tropic of Cancer a n d Tropic o f Capri­ corn in a n a tte m p t to arrive a t a m ore reaso n ab le ap p ro ach .

M uch o f the b lam e fo r the spiritual ap p ro ac h to e ro tic lite ratu re m ust rest w ith D . H . L aw rence. L aw rence is to be ad m ired fo r his a tte m p t to w rite sincerely a n d fully a b o u t sexual love, b u t it is a pity h e included so m any fey passages ab o u t flam ing, fainting lovers governed by a system o f polaric tensions. In try in g to re-establish a sp irit­ ual value fo r sex, he becam e lost from tim e to tim e in confused m etaphysics and d idactic th eo ry . H is righteous a tti­ tude is a questionable legacy, used all too o ften in criticism to justify assum p­ tions ab o u t m o ra l purpose.

T he fullest sexual expression m ay depend on the involvem ent o f the w hole p ersonality, b u t sexual desire can in fa ct exist w ith o u t sp iritu al co m m itm ent. It is u n fa ir th a t a n a u th o r should be judged p o rn o g rap h ic on the g rounds th a t he recognises this, ju st as it is n o t fa ir to base a lite rary defence on m o ral grounds.

H enry M iller’s Tropic of Cancer, first published in F ra n c e in 1934, has re ­ cently been released in the U n ited States.

A preface by K a rl S chapiro contains the sta te m en t “ M o rally I re g ard M iller as a holy m an, as m ost o f his a dherents do — G a n d h i w ith a penis” .

It is m y c o n te n tio n th a t a m an can be a good w riter w ith o u t being a spirit­ u al leader, a n d th a t L aw rence is largely responsible fo r the c o n tra ry opinion.

T he L aw ren cian love ethic is fine to live by, b u t it is n o t som ething to judge by.

H en ry M ille r’s w riting is th a t o f an in dignant A m e ric an ex p atriate, b u t one w ith a difference. H is flight fro m N ew Y o rk took p lace in 1930, w hen it w as no longer the vogue fo r w riters to go to P aris. H e lived in p o verty in E u ro p e fo r som e years, o ccasionally tak in g a job, b u t depending largely o n friends fo r his livelihood. T h ere is n o d o u b t th a t his life as a n ‘a rtist’ w as very selfconscious, b u t th e sh arp c o n tra st w ith th e stiflling, org an ised existence he had le ft m ust h ave m ad e th is inevitable.

P aris p rovided an e m o tio n al release fo r him w hich m ad e possible The Tropic o f Cancer, an episodic, m ore-or-less a u to b io g rap h ic al acc o u n t o f his life there.

It is a b o o k w hich is m ea n t to shock people. Its success depends on the a u th ­

o r ’s p erso n ality and the ex u b eran t M iller, self-proclaim ed artist and critic o f his ow n co u n try , can becom e very w earing.

Y et in the Tropic o f Cancer he m anages to c h arm the re ad e r as m uch as shock him . T h ere is a n irresistible h u m o u r in the best o f M iller’s w ork w hich e stab ­ lishes a c o n te x t in w hich the crudest details are acceptable.

H ere, for exam ple, is M iller’s account o f the tim e he spent as a p ro o f reader, w ork w hich he enjoyed so m uch th at he w as a t g re at pains n o t to seem too intelligent in case “som eone u p sta irs” m ig h t p ro m o te him : “A t M o n sieu r P a u l’s, the bistro across the w ay, th ere is a b ack ro o m reserved

fo r the n ew spaperm en w here w e can e at on credit. It is a p lea sa n t little ro o m w ith saw dust on the floor and flies in season a n d out. W hen I say th a t it is reserved fo r the n ew spaperm en I d o n ’t m ean to im ply th a t w e eat in privacy; on the c o n tra ry , it m eans th a t we have the privilege o f associating w ith the w hores and pim ps w ho fo rm the m ore substantial elem ent o f M onsieur P a u l’s clientele. T h e a rra n g e m e n t suits the guys upstairs to a T, because th ey ’re alw ays on the lo o k o u t fo r tail, and even those w ho have a steady little F re n c h girl are w illing to m ak e a sw itch now a n d then.

T he p rin cip al thing is n o t to get a dose; a t tim es it w ould seem as if an epidem ic h a d sw ept th e office, o r p erhaps it m ight be explained by the fa c t th a t th ey all sleep w ith th e sam e w om an. A nyhow , it’s gratify in g to observe how m iserable they can lo o k w hen they are obliged to sit beside a pim p, w ho, despite the little hard sh ip s o f his profession, lives a life o f lu x u ry by com parison.

“I ’m thinking p a rticu la rly now o f one tall, blo n d fellow , w ho delivers the H avas m essages by bicycle. H e is alw ays a little late fo r his m eal, alw ays p e rsp ir­ ing profusely and his face covered w ith grim e. H e h a s a fine, aw kw ard w ay of strolling in, saluting everybody w ith two

fingers a n d m aking a beeline fo r the sink w hich is ju st betw een the to ilet and the k itchen. A s h e wipes his face he gives the edibles a quick inspection; if he sees a nice lu m p o f steak lying on the slab he picks it u p and sniffs it, o r he w ill dip the lad le in to the big pot and try a m o u th fu l o f soup. H e ’s like a fine b lo o d h o u n d , his nose to the g ro u n d all the tim e. T h e prelim inaries over, having m ad e peepee and blow n his nose vigorously, he w alks n o n c h a l­ an tly o ver to his w ench and gives h e r a big, sm acking kiss, to g eth er w ith an affec­ tionate p a t on the rum p. H er. the w ench.

I ’ve never seen look a n ything b u t im ­ m acu late — even a t three a.m . a fte r an evening’s w o rk . She looks exactly as if she h a d ju st stepped o u t o f a T urkish b ath. It’s a pleasu re to look a t such h ealthy brutes, to see such repose, such affection, such ap p etite as they display.

I t’s the evening m eal I ’m speaking of now , the little snack th a t she takes b e ­ fore en terin g upon h e r duties. In a little w hile she will be obliged to tak e leave o f her big blond bru te, to flop som e­ w here on the b o u lev a rd and sip her digestif. If the jo b is irksom e o r w e ar­ ing o r exhaustive, she certain ly d oesn’t show it. W h en the big fellow arrives, h un g ry as a w olf, she puts h e r arm s a ro u n d him and kisses him hun g rily — his eyes, nose, cheeks, h air, the back o f his n e ck . . . she’d kiss his ass if it could be done publicly. She’s grateful to him , th a t’s evident. She’s no wage slave. AH th ro u g h the m eal she laughs convulsively. Y o u w o u ld n ’t th in k she h a d a care in the w orld. A n d now and then, by w ay o f affection, she gives him a reso u n d in g slap in the face, such a w hack as w ould knock a p ro o f re ad e r spinning.”

T his passage illustrates m ost o f the featu res o f M ille r’s h u m o ro u s technique — his c asually irre v e ra n t attitu d e, his c alcu la te d overstatem en ts, his superb sense o f tim ing, a n d his underlying hu m an sym pathy. N o t everyone in M il­ le r’s books is sim ilarly happy, healthy an d attractiv e, yet all th e c h ara cte rs are described w ith this exuberance. M iller has an eye fo r details w hich sustain the breezy tone, even w hen he is being his m ost p ro fa n e o r m o st p ro fo u n d .

M iller does n o t re g ard anyth in g as sacred a n d gleefully ignores all the w rit­ ten and u n w ritte n codes o f discretion a n d p ro p riety . Y e t this too is a legiti­ m ate h u m o ro u s technique. T h ere are certain affinities w ith R abelais in H enry M iller’s outlo o k , b u t I c a n n o t th in k of any E nglish w riter w ith w hom p arallels should be d raw n , except p erh ap s Sterne.

M iller is a L aw ren cian in so fa r as he u pholds th e view th a t sex m u st be fully accepted in lite ratu re. But, as I have m ad e clear, he is n o t a p u rita n ; he_ is nev er con cern ed w ith p re ac h in g o r im ­ proving his readers.

E ven in his m etaphysical discourses he is never fa r fro m satirical com m ent.

In the Tropic o f Capricorn he discusses at som e length B ergson’s th eo ry o f evo­

lution. C haos, he solem nly inform s us, is only o rd e r w hich we do not u n d e r­ stand. A t one point, he seem s quite serious, a t a n o th e r, he w onders w hat p a rt o f the overall o rd e r H ym ie, the sw itch­ bo ard o p e ra to r’s, w ife’s, ovaries m ust form .

T he Tropic o f Capricorn is an intense study o f the situ atio n w hich m ade flight fro m A m e ric a im perative. It follow s a m o re chronological ord er th an the epi­ sodic Tropic of Cancer. M iller's boyhood recollections are probably the m ost im ­ pressive p a rt o f this book — his old neig h b o u rh o o d in B rooklyn is recalled w ithout the bitterness th a t pervades m ost o f his A m erican m em oirs. N o t th a t his bitterness w as unjustified: the grim des­ crip tio n o f his life as personnel m anager fo r a telegram com pany bears this out: “C haos! A how ling chaos! N o need to choose a p a rtic u la r day. A ny day o f m y life — back there — w ould suit. E very day o f m y life, m y tiny m icrocosm ic life, w as a reflection o f the o u ter chaos.

L et m e th in k back . . . A t seven-thirty the a la rm w ent off. I d id n ’t bounce out o f bed. I lay there till eight-thirty, try ­ ing to gain a little m ore sleep. Sleep — how could 1 sleep? In the back o f m y m ind w as an im age o f the office w here I w as already due. I could see H ym ie arriving at eight sharp, the sw itchboard alread y buzzing w ith dem ands fo r help, the app lican ts clim bing up the wide, w ooden stairw ay, the strong sm ell of c am p h o r from the dressing room . W hy get up and rep eat yesterd ay ’s song and dance? As fast as I h ired them they dro p p ed out. W orking m y balls off and not even a clean shirt to w ear. M ondays I got m y allow ance fro m the wife —

Across 1. 6. Sexpot with a chest m easurem ent only 4 in. less th a n Sonny L iston.

8. “T o evil h a b it’s earliest wile L end n e ith e r ear, nor glance, n o r sm ile— C hoke the d a rk fountain ere it flows, N o r e ’en a d m it the . . . nose” (L ydia H untley Sig­ ourney).

11. A favourite q u o tatio n from the beak o f E d g ar A llan Poe’s R aven.

12. T he D anish H all w here B eow ulf hung the bloody a rm o f the m ere-m onster, G rendel.

SOLUTION TO OZW ORD No. 1 ACROSS 1. The Blue Lamp; 8. M alfi (the Duchess of Malfi); 9. U T hant; 10. T arzan : 11. Uffizi; 12. Boa; 13 Sappho; 14. E tna; 16. Pom p (from Ride On); 17. H elena; 19.

Julie W ard H ow e; 20. U rn : 21.

Stendhal (M arie H en ri B oyle'.

DOW N 2. Hellzapoppin; 3. B rian Boru; 4. U ru g u ay ; 5. A laric the G oth; 6. P itti P alace; 7. Im pala; 13.

Sapajou; 15. V erdum ; 18. T art (N onsense Songs, the Jumblies).

c arfa re and lunch m oney. I was alw ays in debt to her and she w as in debt to the grocer, the butcher, the lan d lo rd and so on. I co u ld n ’t be bothered shav­ ing — there w asn’t tim e enough. I put on the to rn shirt, gobble up the b re a k ­ fast, and borro w a nickel fo r the su b ­ w ay. I got to the office out o f breath, an h o u r behind tim e and a dozen calls to m ake b efo re I even talk to an ap p li­ cant. W hile I m ake one call there are three o th er calls w aiting to be answ ered.

I use two telephones at once. T he sw itch­ bo ard is buzzing. H ym ie is sharpening his pencils betw een calls. M acG o v ern the d o o rm an is standing in the doorw ay w a it­ ing to give m e a w ord o f advice a bout one o f the applicants, p ro bably a cro o k w ho is trying to sneak back un d er a false nam e. B ehind me are the cards and ledgers containing the nam e o f every applicant w ho had ever passed through the m achine. T he bad ones a re starred in red ink; som e o f them have six aliases a fte r th eir nam es. M eanw hile the room is craw ling like a hive. T he room stinks w ith sw eat, d irty feet, old uniform s, cam p h o r, lysol, bad breaths. H alf of them will have to be tu rn ed aw ay — n o t th at we d o n ’t need them but th at even u n d e r the w orst conditions they ju st w o n ’t d o .”

In this passage there is a m ounting feeling o f h o rro r culm inating in all the repulsive details w hich accom pany hu m an beings in a m ass. T he details o f M iller’s ro u tin e are piled on d elib ­ erately one a fte r an o th er, y et there is no a ttem p t to hide th at this is a co m ­ posite account draw n fro m h u ndreds of irrita tin g days o f breathless routine. T he exaggeratio n does not disguise the gen­

uine anger, but even w hen M iller is angry he notices the hum an details — H ym ie sharpening his pencils betw een calls.

W hile M iller can be cruel to m asses and the system s w hich try to control them collectively, he does not express total h o rro r at any individual. F o r this reason it is u n fa ir to describe him as a w riter w ho is against hum anity, and w ho seeks to degrade m en and w om en.

In the Cosm ological Eye he w rote: “ I am against porn o g rap h y and for obscenity — and violence” . T he dis­ tinction he infers is th a t p o rn o g rap h y is suggestive and titivating, while obscenity is a direct c o n fro n ta tio n o f possible tab o o subjects. It is shocking and violent c er­ tainly, but it is redeem ed by hu m o u r.

M iller uses tab o o w ords freely because o f a determ in atio n to be uncom prisingly direct, and not because he has any d e ­ sire to p urefy them . Y et his books derive their pow er from this sam e directness, unique in our lite ra tu re ’s autobiography.

T he w orks o f H enry M iller are not likely to be adm itted to A u stra lia for som e considerable tim e, if they ever are. Tropic of Cancer was sold openly in E ngland fo r the first tim e last m onth.

M oral argum ents m ay prove useful in its defence — as they did in the case of Lady Chatterley’s Lover, b u t it is a pity th a t they should be needed.

F o r M iller’s w orks, including the two Tropics, should be seen in the context he creates for him self. Shocking, p e r­ haps obscene, alm ost certainly brilliant.

But above all the w ork o f a hum orist, w ho should be accepted as such.

— C. D E L L IT

OZWORD NO. 2 13.

14.

17.

18.

19.

“ ’T is a gross . . . , held in schools, T h a t F o rtu n e alw ays fav­ ours fo o ls” (John G ay, Fables).

W ho w as the lead er of the B ritish L ab o u r Party w hen E rskine C aldw ell w rote Love and M oney (not th a t th ere is any c o n ­ nection)?

T he R ain in Spain fell generously fo r . . . (My Fair Lady) H arrison.

H a rv a rd ’s jo u rn al Lam­ poon aw arded a cellophane fig lea f trophy fo r “false m odesty” to . . . (Lolita) Lyon.

B enjam in B ritten’s first o p era excited the m usical w orld w hen it was first produced in 1945.

D ow n 2. W ho sta rred w ith M ichael W ilding fo r the first tim e in P iccadilly Incident?

3. W ho p a in te d the sta rk and gloom y face o f the Pro­ phet in 1912?

4. T ow n of the Y o ru b a people in N igeria, w here m any re m a rk ab le statues in te rra c o tta and bronze have been found.

5. W ho w as the first o f J. D. S alinger’s p aten tly p re co ­ cious c h ara cte rs to com m it suicide?

7.

A group o f islands in the A egean Sea, w hich include R hodesia and K alim nos.

9. W ho was the ‘b ro th e r’ and m u rd ere r o f the E gyptian god O siris?

10. W ho w as the lea d er o f the British L a b o u r P arty w hen E rskine C aldw ell w as born in G eorgia (not th a t there is any connection)?

14. "W ho said, 'P eacock Pie’?

T he old king to the

sparrow : W ho said, '. . . are rip e ’?

R ust to the h a rro w ” (W alter de la M are).

15. “A nd all the m en and w om en m erely players: T hey have th eir . . . and their en tran ces;” (Shakes­ peare, (A s You Like It).

16. W hat w as the airship in w hich A m undsen and N obile flew from S pitsber­ gen to A laska?

Sydney by night L EG ITIM A T E TH EA TR E (C o m m en cem en t dates are bracketed) 1. The Old Tote (A pril 17): A co u rag ­ eous successor to “C h e rry O rc h a rd ” .

P ro d u c e r Jo h n C la rk falls into the tra p o f sending up Ionesco b u t enough o f the o riginal in te n t rem ains to m ake “B ald P rim a D o n n a ” enjoyable. B rian Jam es, G w en P lum and M ary R eynolds h an d le the dialogue w ith distinction.

M ax F ric sh ’s m orality “T he Fire R a isers” pays only lip-service to its claim to be “w ith o u t a m o ra l” .

Jo h n Bell continues his fine acting, u n fo rtu n a te ly w ithout the foil required o f Ja c k A llen.

W o rthy o f the m o st rep u ta b le th e a tre ­ goer.

2. Revue o f the Absurd (M arch 28): G a in ed m u ch fro m som e sane publicity.

A b rillian tly conceived idea o f p re ­ senting excerpts o f w orks o f fu tu re clas­ sical w riters o f the absurd , a lth o u g h the p a rticip a n ts could n o t q uite m atch the sta n d a rd o f the conception.

“T he S an d b o x ” a n d “A c t W ithout W ords II” w ere the ones m o st in keep­ ing w ith the trad itio n , a lthough G us K elly show ed im m ense prom ise.

ness and p o in t o f say, “W ild S traw ­ b e rrie s”.

H ow ever, it is a suitable follow -up to “A c c a tto n e ” .

2. The Longest Day (2 6 /1 2 /6 2 ): N ig h t­ fall is still som e w ay off. In the m e a n ­ tim e, a really first-class A m erican film coverage o f D -day.

3. W est Side Story (7 /6 /6 2 ): L eonard B e rn stein ’s im m o rtal m usical m akes a slightly less m em o rab le film.

4. The Love Arts (A pril 19): A sophis­ ticated sequel to the W orld by N ight series.

T h e n ightspot visits are gum m ed to ­ g eth er w ith shots o f attractiv e w om en and G allic p leasantries on the love business.

A c u t above sim ilar show s, it contains som e really b eau tifu l p hotography.

5. G uns o f N avarone (2 2 /1 2 /6 2 ): Still re v erb e ratin g a t the B arclay.

A n o u t and o u t adv en tu re story w here m en a re m en and w om en are m en o r traito rs.

A fte r a p relim inary sally into am a teu r philo so p h y and psychology the w hole film settles into the p u re en te rta in m e n t groove, in w hich it is em inently successful.

3. R om eo and Juliet (A pril 18): E d A lli­ so n ’s p ro d u c tio n has everything b u t the assu ra n ce o f a p rofessional presentation.

M ovem ent, speech a n d even duelling is c arried o u t w ith g re at com petence.

A s alw ays the com ic p a rts — p a rticu la rly S tefan G ry ffs plum p a rt as M ercutio — are savoured m ost.

A rth u r D ig n am as the ra th e r b e ­ m used R o m eo and R o sem ary G e rre tt as the precocious L olita o f V e ro n a are b oth excellent.

6. H ow the West was Won (2 6 /1 2 /6 2 ): A n o u t and o u t ad v en tu re storey w here D ebbie R eynolds in h e r best film y et is su p p o rted by a cast as long as the arm of the law .

A fam ily saga plo t and corny script take g re at liberties w ith a large bite of A m e ric an history.

T echnically it is aw esom e from start to finish.

4. A Shot in the D ark (M arch 29): M ay still be h e ard nightly a t the R oyal. Low c alibre as e ith e r th rille r o r farce.

Show of the Month

5. Fairy Tales of N ew York (M arch 29): T he E n sem b le’s a d v en tu re i n t o t h e satirical.

D o n L eavy’s w orkshop play ridiculing exerpts o f m odern life in N .Y . is em in­ ently suited to the E n sem b le’s p ro d u c ­ tion style.

T h e econom ical cast o f fo u r m ove th ro u g h th e ir paces satisfactorily.

It’s all n o t q uite how Y ankee p ro ­ p ag an d a w ould have it.

7. M utiny on the Bounty (Ja n u ary 17): B ra n d o plays N a p o leo n . . . again.

D ra m a tic seascapes and lo ts o f b eau t lashings — a m ust for the seafaring sadist.

T he so u rer notes are T ah itia n lovelies w earing ru b b e r falsies a n d B ra n d o ’s heroic d eath scene as the m odel o f the B ounty slides flam ing into the studio tank.

8. Jessica (A pril 12): A co lo u rfu l m ixture o f “ L y sistrata”, “R om eo a n d Ju lie t” and “T he M iracle".

T he attractiv e m idw ife in a F ren ch tow n causes F em ale Spouses U n io n to strike.

N o t even a pious M aurice C hevalier can save it.

9. Birdman o f Alcatraz (A pril 11): B urt L a n c aste r a t his im passive w orst.

T he b ird m a n is nev er a b ird m a n at A lc atraz — all th a t happens at L eav en ­ w orth. He only plays the hero at A lcatraz.

If T ru th is m ore en tertain in g th an fiction, this is the exception th at proves the rule.

10. Sodom and G om orrah (M arch I): T he P la in m a n ’s guide to the fieshpots o f the O ld T estam ent.

A really gay spectacle —• m ass drow nings, im palings, incinerations, to rtu res, rapes a n d stonings, all in b eau tifu l colour.

A p p a ren tly sadism is N o. 1 vice on the plain.

S tew art G ra n g e r’s is n o t a happy L o t b u t Pier A ngeli, as his w ife, is really a p illa r o f strength.

M ake sure the kiddies see it — th ey ’ll nev er look back if they do.

THE OLD ROUTINE 'p H IS y e a r’s R oyal E aste r Show varied little fro m fo rm e r p roductions. A ll the sights, sounds a n d sm ells o f the c o u n try w ere coupled w ith the fun of the fair.

B A STA R D C IN EM A

T h e set as a w hole w as m ad e u p of fo rm e r p ro d u c tio n s and tended to be on th e ta tty side. H ow ever, fresh d e ­ tails ad d ed sparkle to the vario u s scenes, such as the rep lica in polished G ra n n y S m ith apples o f the B ritan n ica w ith the sentim ental “A u R evoir” o f Jo n a th an s above.

1. The N aked N ight (A pril 5): In g m ar B ergm an’s “S aw dust a n d T insel” .

Produced in 1952 it is interesting to w atch early B ergm an d irection a n d com ­ p a re his develo p m en t in late r films.

T he sym bolism and c o n tro l are e r­ ratic; the p h o to g rap h y lacks the c le a r­

Spectacle in m ovem ent as usual was the k ey n o te o f th e big p ro d u c tio n n u m ­ bers o f the c en tral a ren a. T he intricacy o f the various p a tte rn s c ontrived by the H e refo rd s a n d A berdeen A ngi are alw ays a delight to the eye.

B aw diness w as kept to a lim it, a l­ tho u g h the stage m an a g er and d irector

6. M y F air Lady (M arch 30): C asts and novelty w ane b u t the nostalgia lingers on . . . and on.

a review of April’s entertainment

in the p o u ltry p avilion en couraged a few chuckles w ith “B reeding trio s”.

T he e te rn a l appeal fo r com ic relief w as c atere d fo r in the obvious w ay, a l­ tho u g h a t tim es obscu red by the taw dry.

T he headless w om an, the pygm ies and the m an changed into a w om an p ro b ­ ably topped the p ublicity bill, b u t it was the F e rris w heel and W ildm ouse th a t p rovided the thrills.

R efreshm ents w ere m o re th an a d e­ q u a te ly p rovided — the fairy floss, toffee apples a n d waffles added the fes­ tive touch o f som ething different fo r the child connoisseur.

A good critic c an n o t close w ithout w ords o f advice fo r fu tu re productions, b u t th e d irec to rs know w ell enough th a t their p a tro n s expect a version o f the sam e thing each y ear and no d oubt th a t’s w h at they will supply.

— L.M.

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