CHAPTER ONE
Admitting
A
dmitting you have an in-law problem is the first step. A lot of couples all over the world conveniently ignore this little but significant in-law issue. They feel they have more important things to pursue—achieving career goals, building business empires, paying bills, raising kids, doing ministry, or going on vacations. The list is endless. Some couples are aware of this in-law issue but pretend not to care or are too embarrassed to acknowledge the fact. Others are ashamed of being misjudged or seen as evil by the world if they acknowledge the challenges associated with their in-laws. The more the in-law problem is ignored, the worse it gets. Accepting what has been thrown at you by your in-law relations is highly unacceptable. With no significant effort to improve the situation, the in-law situation lingers on, and people endure harboring hatred and resentment on the inside. Many of the pointless arguments most couples engage in have in-law frictions as the underlying factor. Whether it’s bordering on finances: “Why are you spending so much money on your family?” Or information: “Why didn’t you tell me your mom or dad said this or that?” Or attitudes: “Your mother hates me, why does she like to complain about everything I do.” Or even with regard to your children: “I do not like how your mother treats our children.” These are some of the conflicts I had during the early years of my marriage. And most of these arguments often took place privately between my husband and me with our in-laws having no idea the effects they were having on our marriage. For those of us who have children, the likelihood of our kids 1
