Our Father, who art in Hell

Our Father, who art in Hell

By Geifodd ap Pwyll

In Satanism, there is a wide variety of names and titles that people use for His Infernal Majesty. Some call Him the Prince of Darkness, and some call Him Set. Some call Him the Dark Lord, and some call Him the Devil. Some call Him the Dark Force in nature, while others might call Him the Great Beast. And of course, any combination of these names is also up for grabs.

These and various others are somewhat "official" sounding titles. But some folks prefer to identify the Dragon by more intimate terms. Some, for example, like to call Set by the name of "Master" or "Father." Or perhaps if they are more in tune with His feminine aspect, they might call Him "Mistress" or "Mother."

Now there are a few Satanists who have what I consider to be some rather unfair prejudices against the use of such intimate terms. Most of the people who have these prejudices take a much more intellectual approach to Satanism than others, or at least this is what I have observed for myself. Either that, or they're self-worshipers. In this sermon, I would like to voice my thoughts about this particular issue, and to explain why I do not agree with the prejudices against these intimate terms, despite my own intellectual approach to Devil worship.

Now from what I have observed, many of the people who call the Devil their Father do so because they experience Him as having a paternal influence in their lives. There is a belief among many of the more intellectually-inclined Satanists that anybody who experiences Him in such a way must come from a fundamentalist Christian upbringing.

Furthermore, it is thought that they are unable to break free of their upbringing, and that they simply "replace" Jehovah with Satan as their religious paternal figure. The reason supposedly being, of course, that they can't handle not having one.

These things are certainly true of some "Father" Satanists, but I've never seen any evidence that they are true of all "Father" Satanists. And I challenge anybody who thinks they have such evidence to produce it!

But just for the sake of argument, let's say we have a "Father" Satanist who fits the above profile exactly: Jimmy was born in a Southern Baptist family and accepted Christianity until he reached his teenage years, when he suddenly realized that Christian theology is all a bunch of

hoopla. Figuring that there was no other alternative, Jimmy turned to the Prince of Darkness and became a Satanist.

It's still a bit hard for Jimmy to let go of his Christian upbringing, so he finds himself calling Satan "Father" and using that name in his prayers. He needs to have a spiritual father figure in his life, and as far as he's concerned, the Devil fulfills that role well enough. When the world seems to be spinning around him, he feels reassured and empowered while praying to his newfound Father.

Now there are probably hundreds of kids out there just like Jimmy, who jump into Satanism right out of Christianity without even a moment's thought. And most of these kids do not have the Mark. They might manage to convince themselves that Satanism is their true spiritual calling for a year or two. But somewhere down the road, they'll get freaked out by a spooky experience in a ritual and go running right back to Christianity.

Or maybe they'll just get bored and decide to try hanging out with some neo-druidic treehuggers for a while.

But Jimmy, he's got the Mark. He might leave Satanism for a bit and experiment with some other stuff, but he always comes back to his Father in the end. He might get lots and lots of flack from other Satanists for "acting like a Christian" and calling Ol' Snakey his Papa, but he just can't turn away. Despite his Christian upbringing, he was born a Satanist. And he will die a Satanist, too.

And one day, Jimmy meets Jane. Jane comes from a family of atheists who never spoke a word about the Bible while she was growing up. She didn't even figure out what a "Christian" was until she reached the sixth grade. But she had an experience during her eighth grade school year that led her to believe in the Prince of Darkness. And just like Jimmy, she calls Him her Father. Jane was never a Christian, not once, and she never had a Christian upbringing; yet she calls Ol' Snakey her Papa just like Jimmy does.

Jane and Jimmy then get hitched and raise a bunch of little hellions. (I like happy endings. So sue me.)

Anyway, even a person who cannot completely let go of their Christian programming can have the Mark of the Devil in their bones. And even a person who has never had any Christian programming can feel inclined to see the Devil as their Father. Everything is relative, kids, and if you remember that, you'll be okay!

It is also often assumed that Satanists who call the Beast their Father are of considerably "lower intelligence" than Satanists who do not identify Him as such. "Father" Satanists are thought to rely purely on their emotions and spiritual experiences, and to be incapable of applying any sort of intellectual perspective to their beliefs. And of course, we

intellectual Devil worshipers feel that one ought to be at least somewhat intellectuallyinclined; for relying purely on emotions and experiences is not always good enough.

Now that last sentence is definitely true. I certainly agree that it's good to encourage other Devil worshipers to try and think more intellectually if they can. But you know what? I happen to be best friends with a Devil worshiper who is not very intellectually inclined, and who gets frustrated or bored whenever I start using too many big words when I talk to him. Does this mean that he isn't a true blue Devil worshiper? Does it mean that he's not "good enough" to bear the Mark?

Hell no! Drogoth (that's his name) has the Mark all right, I'm sure of it. I saw it in his eyes the very first day I met him. He's as Satanic as they come, baby. He may not know much about Friedrich Nietzsche or William James, and he may not be a philosopher or a rocket scientist. But He's got the Black Flame of Set burning deep inside His soul, and if you could meet him for yourself, you'd know that it's true.

It's always good to encourage our fellow Devil worshipers to think more critically. But we shouldn't hold it against them if they can't make themselves sound like Albert Einstein. Not everybody has the time or the ability to transform themselves into walking encyclopedias, and we'd be fools if we thought otherwise. Some folks just aren't born for philosophy. But this does not mean that they can't be true Satanists. And people who call Set their Father are not always of "lower intelligence," anyway. My pal Augustus Numley, for instance, happens to have a mighty big steel trap inside that skull of his, and he calls the Devil his Father all the time. If you don't believe me, go join his Morning Star forum and say something really stupid to him. See what happens!

I have a very big problem with this prejudice against "Father" Satanists - and that's exactly what it is, a prejudice. A person doesn't have to have a low IQ in order to interpret the Dark Lord as a father figure. And even if they do have a low IQ, that doesn't mean they can't be every bit as Satanic as the bookworms. The Prince of Darkness will give His Mark to whomever He damn well pleases, and that's all there is to say about that!

So far, nobody's been able to present me with a survey that proves all people who call Him Father were originally Christian, or that they have low intelligence, or that they're simply "latching on" to a paternal figure for the sake of having a paternal figure. I am reasonably sure that these things must be true of at least some individuals (and not necessarily in that order), but I see no reason to assume that they are true of absolutely everybody who identifies the Dark Lord as their Father.

If you have the Mark and you interpret Set as a paternal figure, then you have every right to call Him your Father if it works for you. And if anybody criticizes you for doing it, you just smile and shake your head, and remember that the Dark Lord approaches each of us in different ways. Since we are all unique individuals, it's only natural that each of our relationships with the Big Guy will be different in some way.

Now personally, I don't really feel inclined to call Him my Father. I don't mind when other people call Him that, but when it comes to my own relationship with Him, that just

doesn't work for me. I prefer to just call Him Set or the Devil or the Prince of Darkness.

But sometimes, I do enjoy referring to Him as my Master. Now this tends to provoke even worse of a reaction from some people than the name "Father" does!

When Johnny from the Church of Satan sees me calling Satan my Master, he says, "That's even worse than calling Him your father! Because at least you can disobey your father. But if you call Him your master, you're calling yourself His slave! Satanists aren't supposed to be slaves! We're supposed to be our own masters - non serviam! Stop calling yourself a 'Satanist' you stupid Devil worshiper, and go listen to your Slayer albums!"

If Johnny would stop running his mouth and actually listen to me explain myself, he'd realize that when I call Set my Master, I am not calling myself a slave. I'm calling myself a student. Haven't you ever seen any of those cheapie kung-fu movies where some wimpola climbs a mountain to be taught how to chopsocky by an old guy who always calls everybody "Grasshoppah"? In turn, everybody else calls the old guy "Master." Not because they're his slaves and he'll whup 'em good if they don't pick that cotton, but because the old guy can break more cement blocks with his bare knuckles than you can shake a hoof at.

And what about the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? They all called the rat "Master Splinter," but you don't see them being slaves for him, do you? Or how about Qui-Gon Jinn and Obi-Wan Kenobi? Obi-Wan always called Qui-Gon his Master, but do you really think Obi-Wan was taking it up the ass?

(No disrespect intended toward anyone who enjoys that sort of thing. But you catch my drift, right?)

Well when I call Set "Master," it's like that. He's the Master of all hidden knowledge who holds the secrets to life, the universe, and your mother's tuna casserole. Move over, Einstein! Stephen Hawking? Just a babe in the woods compared to Ol' Snakey. "Master" is a term of reverent awe and respect for someone who knows a shitload more than you do, and who takes time out of their day to teach you stuff. And in that context, I think it makes a lot of sense to call the Big Guy my Master.

And if Johnny from the Church of Satan doesn't like it, then that's probably because he's seen Bela Lugosi's Dracula way too many times and automatically thinks of Renfield anytime he hears the word "Master."

So all you people out there who think of Lucifer as your Father, you just go right ahead and call Him that if you want to. Don't mind the intellectual "elitists" too much; we may be smart, but we've got our flaws too. We have to wipe our bums whenever we take a crap, just like you do. And all you people out there who are like me and want to call Him your Master, well don't let Johnny from the Church of Satan stop you. It's not your fault if he's never seen a Jackie Chan movie before in his life.

May the Master be with each and every single one of you. Hail!