April Issue 2022 by LHS Statesman

STATESMAN THE SENIORS’ FINAL ISSUE ISSUE NO. 6 : 2022 APRIL ISSUE

Contents 6

4 FEATURES 4 Deciphering the recycling- DANIEL BETHKE 20 6

Evelyn Patterson- KATE TOLLINGER

Teachers are dreamers too- Ellen Merkley

APRIL ISSUE

The art of baking- Anna Engels

SPORTS you didn’t know about Lauren Yu23 What lydia sarbacker

Teacher catchphrases- kate Matthes

Get on track with the Track and Field team- Daisy Larson

Jennifer Noutsougan: A home away from home- SAMANTHA ZEECK

LHS college-bound athletes- Gage Gohl & Morgan Sandness

True colors- paige Gordon

The feat to an eight-peat- Hannah cisar

Which LHS staff member are you most like?- sarah bomhoff

Sincerely, Sofia- Lydia Nelson

Coach Halseth- Ariahna Wells

Entertainment Statesbuds: Taco Edition- Henry Haft & 18 Caleb Hiatt 2

Perspectives you want to talk about being 30 So ‘chronically online?’- emma forster 32 34 36

Why you should care about the RussoUkraine war- veronica Iseminger Had I never joined Debate- thompson wakefield

20 THE ONION RING the ‘cap’tains- laura heckenlaible 38 &Meet mara tiede

The real hoopers of LHS- lucas hiatt

Teacher’s pets- Avery nelson

March Madness: Mascot BracketLeighton Feltman

LHS Bingo- Katie Jensen & Fisher Meyerink

School pet peeves- clare heupel

Twitter thoughts- kate mccartney

Conspiracy theory: Adam Morrison has secret ties to alien empire- anna anderson & eMMA SOUTHWICK

Statesman PAPER EDITORS-IN-CHIEF Anna Engels, Chloe Houwman & Adyson Sand ONLINE EDITORS-IN CHIEF Daniel Bethke & Kate McCartney FEATURE EDITORS Hannah Cisar & Jada Sandvall ENTERTAINMENT EDITORS Baily Randall & Taylor Schmitz PERSPECTIVES EDITORS Olivia Brost, Margaret Ann Mickelberg & Morgan Sandness SPORTS EDITORS Gage Gohl & Caleb Hiatt NEWS EDITORS Emma Forster & Kate Tollinger SATIRE EDITOR Henry Haft STAFF WRITERS - Anna Anderson, Joy Bilal, Elana Bishop, Sarah Bomhoff, Claire Brown, Reese Duncan, Bella

Engebretson, Carter Ericson, Ashleigh Ericson, Leighton Feltman, Paige Gordon, Delaney Gramlick, Laura Heckenlaible, Clare Heupel, Lucas Hiatt, Brooks Houwman, Veronica Iseminger, Katie Jensen, Allison Kolling, Daisy Larson, Raina Marty, Kate Matthes, Gabie McConnell, Ellen Merkley, Fisher Meyerink, Avery Nelson, Lydia Nelson, Adrienne Revier, Lydia Sarbacker, Emma Southwick, Mara Tiede, Vanessa Timat, Thompson Wakefield, Ariahna Wells, Samantha Zeeck

ADVISER - Katie Kroeze

Shopping sustainably- delaney gramlick

DANIEL BETHKE, ONLINE EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

WHAT CAN BE RECYCLED? RECYCLE: Flattened cardboard Non-glossy paper products Catalogues, newspapers, etc. Aluminum cans Tin cans Glass bottles Cartons

DO NOT RECYCLE: Napkins Products with food or residue Plastic utensils or cups Foil bags and wrappers Any Styrofoam Straw wrappers Glossy paper Packaging

As Earth Day approaches on April 22, more attention is being drawn to the importance of sustainable human activities and interactions with the environment, from recycling to picking up litter. An environmentally relevant belief that has become increasingly widespread at LHS is that the school does not in fact recycle. Walking through the halls and classrooms of the school, one is eventually bound to hear from students that LHS does not recycle its materials, instead putting all items in the same bin at the end of the day. These rumors seem to have started no more than five years ago; whatever their origin, they have become increasingly prevalent. However, to determine their until now uncertain validity, a deeper analysis is required. Out of an informal poll of six LHS teachers, one of them said they had seen janitors place items from the recycling and trash into the same bin, one said they saw the bin contents properly separated and the remaining four could not recall. While the polling methodology is certainly imperfect and far from yielding a conclusive result, the high degree of uncertainty and variety in responses (understandable, as it is certainly an atypical event to actively remember) indicates other sources might be necessary to reach a definitive conclusion. LHS Building Manager Matthew Haag is responsible for cleanliness inside and outside of the building, engineering work and HVAC maintenance. He offered much insight into the school’s official recycling policy, of which many students might not be aware.

“We just started doing milk cartons this year. If it’s paper or something that’s not shiny, usually that’s what goes in the recycling can,” said Haag. “We also try to recycle soda bottles and stuff like that. That’s one of our big pushes, especially during school lunch.” Haag noted that his day custodians make diligent efforts to ensure students know which materials belong in either the recycling or the trash. Given those policies are on the books, to what extent are they followed? It turns out that whether the aforementioned policies are followed is not always up to the custodial staff. “Sometimes, unfortunately, kids throw garbage into the recycling cans, and then our policy is that it’s contaminated, so we have to throw it all away; that’s happened a few times,” said Haag. “Our groundskeeper also makes a diligent effort to keep our areas clear of recycling too, and then he’ll bring the recycling and sort it out… if it’s got food or it’s contaminated, it’s got to go in the trash. But even at the end of the year, when we go through lockers, we sort out trash and recycling.” Other materials that could be considered “contaminated” or not eligible for recycling at LHS include glossy paper like magazines and plastic bags. LHS stopped recycling plastic bags two to three years ago; while they are recyclable, LHS would have to send them to a separate facility because of a City Council ordinance passed when Mayor Huether was in office. “Because [of the ordinance], we can’t throw anything in our private recycling like plastic bags or anything like that as well,”

said Haag. “I think you have to take that to a separate location. I think Hy-Vee still… takes the plastic bags, but here, no, it does not happen.” Haag estimates that between 10 and 20% of recyclable materials at LHS end up contaminated. Out of the six classrooms in my schedule, I found that two had materials in the recycling that were not recyclable, but this merely further evidences the notion that greater student awareness on proper recycling procedures is still necessary. “It’s not a high number just because I think the RISE kids do a really good job of trying to get it,” said Haag. “For the stuff that makes it to us, unfortunately we don’t have a lot of time to just sit there and sort it out, so we just try to pick the good stuff out as we can.” The issue of time and practicality for custodial staff has been particularly exacerbated by the COVID-19 pandemic and understaffing issues it has caused. Perhaps the fact that LHS recently stopped including plastic bags led to the rumors that the school does not recycle at all, but the causes for the change are largely out of custodial control. In actuality, LHS has recently bolstered its recycling program. Among all the high schools in the Sioux Falls School District, LHS was the first to switch from a twice-a-week to a three-times-a-week recycling pickup, which set a trend that other schools soon followed. Especially within the past few years, custodians and teachers alike have attempted to promote sustainable and environmentally friendly actions, be it in the cafeteria or the classroom.

“For our classroom, what I try to do is that anytime we use any type of paper, we try to repurpose that paper,” said LHS art teacher Sarah Winterscheidt. Winterscheidt considers environmental preservation essential and tried to take extra steps to that end two years ago. “At one point, I would actually take all the recycling home,” said Winterscheidt. “So, anything that people put in the recycling bin I would just carry home because I was concerned that we were not recycling here at Lincoln. I don’t [still do that]. That’s what we try to do here in our classroom, and I think just making people aware of what’s happening is [important].” Therefore, it seems that LHS does in fact have established recycling policies. These policies have changed over time, waxing and waning in scope. Of course, they are far from perfect or ideal. In a larger sense, however, the impetus and necessity for recycling falls not just upon custodial stuff but rather upon us all, as this is the only means by which we can minimize contaminated material and maximize environmental preservation. As Earth Day approaches in particular, we must all be more aware of what can be recycled and the great extent to which sustainable humanenvironment interactions are vital for our future. “I think just making people aware of what’s happening is really [important],” said Winterscheidt. “That includes anything we can do to [help] us survive on this planet, on a local level first then working from where we’re at to the next steps.” PHOTO BY DANIEL BETHKE DESIGN BY

DANIEL BETHKE

KATE TOLLINGER

If you enter through the A-wing door in the morning, you have the pleasure of being greeted by bubbly staff member, Evelyn Patterson. Her outgoing personality and stunning style grab everyone’s attention. This is Patterson’s first year at LHS and to say the least, she is already making an impact. Patterson was taught as a kid that when entering a place, one should always greet. It has been an important routine in her life, and she has continued to teach her own children and grandchildren to do the same. The idea of her holding the door every morning stemmed from Dr. Raeder assigning her to unlock it each day. Her goal of greeting everybody each morning is that the students can come straight through the building. It also allows her to interact and make connections with

students. “I don’t think that a lot of [students] would recognize me if Dr. Raeder had not come up with the idea of opening the door,” said Patterson. Patterson has gotten to know students by the time they come in or by who drops them off. “I like to connect with people,” said Patterson. “Sometimes you can tell that some of them are still not awake.” By holding the door and greeting students each morning, she loves the smiles it sparks to start off the day. “This is the way that I want kids to maybe not take up my habits but to see how pleasant that is in the morning when you greet someone,” said Patterson. With it being Patterson’s first year working in a school atmosphere, it sure does not appear that way.

Patterson grew up in Memphis, Tennessee with her five other siblings. Her mother passed away when she was 13, which left her and her siblings in the hands of her father. Patterson is a wife, mother of two children and a grandma of six. Her job brought her to South Dakota in 1986. “I’d never been to South Dakota, only saw it on the map. I’d never had more than two inches of snow on my feet,” said Patterson. Initially, she worked at John Morrell’s in their data center. Two years later, she was transferred to Cincinnati, where she worked for another two years. She found her way back to South Dakota when her husband was offered more money to become a supervisor. She ended up giving up the job at John Morrell’s due to the constant transferring back

and forth and finally made South Dakota her home. Her next chapter began when working for Wells Fargo. In 1990, she was one of the first African Americans to work at the in-store branch started in Sioux Falls. She worked as a Corporate Social Responsibility (CSR), stayed there for over a year, and then moved and worked Downtown for another two years. She then worked with student loans for roughly five years and from there she became a Registered Investment Advisor (RIA). After 20 years at Wells Fargo, she decided to retire. To fill her time, she continued to work part-time at Sam’s Club for the next 17 years working in the accounting and deli apartment. During the summer of 2021, she called it quits at Sam’s Club and after a few months at home, she realized she was ready for something new. She applied through the district, and two days later she had an interview. Patterson is now an Education Associate (EA) who plays different roles at LHS. “When I accepted the EA job, I had no idea what the job would entitle,” said Patterson. “Dr. Raeder just kept finding things for me to do.” A few of Patterson’s duties include sitting in for teachers, helping in

classrooms and running the detention room. She is also in charge of the Post-Class. Pushing students to the level they need to be and watching them reach their goals is the most rewarding part of her day. “[My favorite part of the day is] to see kids accomplishing their work and bringing their grades up because I think that is so important, especially for ninth graders,” said Patterson. “Some kids have made a tremendous turnaround.” Patterson is a compassionate person who helps kids out in any way, no matter the sacrifice or cost. She has snacks in her room all day and loves to help provide students with what they need. “I tell them to take at least one or two things,” said Patterson. Dr. Raeder has offered to have her order snacks through the school but she just prefers to continue to do it herself. Patterson describes her job at LHS as exciting and interesting. “It’s sometimes unbelievable, but I just want to make a connection with the children,” said Patterson. Outside of working with students, Patterson enjoys cooking and has a passion for fashion. When looking at Patterson, one can tell there is always a color theme in her outfit. From her hair to her shoes, everything blends together perfectly. “I wear something different every day,” said Patterson. Because she has taught her kids the ways of fashion, they are sometimes self-conscious about how they dress because they know she will give them her honest opinion. Another passion of hers is cooking and sharing with her neighbors. She loves to try different recipes but also has her staple dishes that everyone enjoys. “Everybody loves my spaghetti,” said Patterson. “I make Southern Style Mac and Cheese. It has to be three types of cheese, milk, eggs and flour.” Every summer, she has a feast for her family and invites her neighbors

over. She grills, makes BBQ ribs, fried chicken, three types of wings and fried catfish. For Thanksgiving and Christmas, she loves to host. Her dining room table seats eight people, and there is food from one end to the other. “You don’t even have elbow room,” said Patterson. Patterson learned to cook from her father who taught all her siblings as well. “My dad always was a good cook,” said Patterson. “We learned from him, and we don’t measure, we go by taste.” Patterson is a woman full of character. Despite her just starting her journey in the classroom and around the school, she believes life will take her where it takes her. “I live by the grace of God,” said Patterson. “I am so thankful because there’s someone who didn’t wake up this morning but I did, and the reason why I did is because He kept me.” Ten years down the road, Patterson hopes to be somewhere enjoying the rest of her life not working, but in the meantime, she continues to take advantage of each day. “My favorite part of my day is all day,” said Patterson. DESIGN BY PHOTOS BY

KATE TOLLINGER KATE TOLLINGER

Many LHS teachers have a signature “catchphrase” or words they find themselves repeating throughout their classes; here are some of these familiar phrases. If you have or have had these teachers in class you might recognize these catchphrases. Whether these sentences are heard while walking down the hall, passing by an open classroom door or sitting in a lesson, they have become an expectation for students. Here are some of the catchphrases from LHS teachers that have become recognizable among students and can be heard repeated throughout the school day.

As children, LHS teachers were asked the question, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Their answers varied, but only a few of them said a teacher. So, how did they get to where they are today? What were their dream jobs if teaching was not on their minds? Mindy Brunmaier teaches speech and English 3 at LHS, though this was not where she dreamed of being years ago. “I wanted to be a puppeteer and work in Jim Henson’s Creature Shop,” said Brunmaier. This came to be because Brunmaier possessed the skill of operating puppets. Along with being able to operate them, the crafting of them brought her laughter and joy. However, as Brunmaier brought reality into the picture, she realized that this was not a realistic end goal. The main challenge was being able to start and sustain a life in New York City. Although Brunmaier is not able to bring laughter and joy to people on stage, she for Emily Koo, ELD (English Language sure does it here at LHS with her cheerfulness. Development) and World Geography teacher, saw herself being a nurse as a child. This transpired from the love of helping people. Koo quickly found out this job was not a good fit for her while she was job shadowing. The sight of giving someone a shot caused her to pass out. Koo was happy to become a teacher though; here, she could help people without having to involve any needles. Koo was not the only one who thought about the medical field. Jesseca Koskovich, Sheltered English teacher, was fascinated by the BY ELLEN MERKLEY occupation. This interest came from watching medical shows, such as “Grey’s Anatomy” and “M*A*S*H.” Another similarity Koo and Some had teaching in mind, but not in the way one Koskovich both have a drive to help people. would think. Aubrey Windish was an avid Harry Potter This is why Koskovich considered being a watcher as a child, thus inspiring her to want to be trauma surgeon; however, the amount of a transfiguration teacher at Hogwarts. She is most schooling and inflexible work schedule was a no fascinated and inspired by Minerva McGonagall. for Koskovich. “Minerva McGonagall is a teaching icon, and I wanted to be just like her. Plus, she had magic and could turn into a cat, which was amazing to a kid,” said Windish. Windish continues to wait for her letter to Hogwarts, but until then she teaches English 3 and AP Language and Composition.

TEACHERS ARE DREAMERS

TOO

DESIGN BY

ELLEN MERKLEY ELLEN MERKLEY

ARTWORK BY

Although some LHS teachers had different paths in mind as children, we are lucky they changed their minds. With them, we are able to have such a fantastic staff here at LHS; thank you, teachers and staff.

“Tips from Tara” is Tara Paclik’s catchphrase. Paclik is a math teacher at LHS and teaches AP Calc and College Algebra. In her lessons, she can be heard giving students “tips from Tara’’ to help them along with their studies. If you have class with her you might hear the phrase “Here’s a tip from Tara,” followed by a piece of useful information or a helpful comment.

“Today I saw some acting” is a

common phrase of Brian Hardie’s. Hardie is a part of the theater program at LHS. After performances while giving feedback he enjoys saying, “today I saw some acting.” This common phrase has become an inside joke among Hardie and his students and while vague, it is accurate of all performances. This catchphrase remains applicable throughout each performance, making it one of Hardie’s favorite phrases to use after shows.

KATE MATTHES

“¡Buenos días!” is Sra. Conover’s catchphrase. Conover is a Spanish teacher at LHS and loves to greet her students with an enthusiastic “buenos días” or “buenas noches” before class. Meeting her students with a morning or afternoon greeting gets them excited for her class and ready to learn Spanish.

“Chemistry is fun and easy.” James Jarovski’s go-to phrase is a reminder that chemistry is easy and fun, which is no surprise seeing as he teaches AP and Accelerated Chemistry. Jarovski can be heard reciting this phrase, sometimes multiple times during a period, in his classroom so that students do not forget how enjoyable the subject really is. He also makes a habit of asking students to remind him what chemistry is, to which they reply, “fun and easy.”

DESIGN BY PHOTOS BY

OLIVIA BROST KATE MATTHES

SAMANTHA ZEECK

Many of us struggle with the thought of moving schools or switching towns, especially when we are young. New city, new culture, new people, new language and away from family, friends and the life you have always known can be a frightening thought. Jennifer Noutsougan not only moved schools, but she moved over 6,000 miles from Togo, West Africa to Sioux Falls, SD in search for better education and more opportunities. At only 10 years old, she already had

the experience of a lifetime. This may seem like a risk to others, but for Noutsougan, it was a new experience she was excited to take on. “Our main language was French, so moving to a new county with a different culture was new to me. Season changes and things like that were difficult for a while, but I was glad to be surrounded by people with different cultures I wasn’t used to,” said Noutsougan.

While loving the inclusive and tight-knit community back home, Noutsougan was excited to experience a new part of the world and take in the other cultures around her. Noutsougan’s first language is French, so coming to the U.S. she attended an English learning school. After reading countless books and watching TV shows in English, she became fluent only six months after coming to the U.S. Her family continues to speak in French at home, so they stay fluent in both languages. Noutsougan has always been excited to learn and communicate with

others. “Over time it became easier to make friends because we just bonded over our cultural differences, and as I grow up I think making friends is one of my favorite things to do,” said Noutsougan. The varying cultures Noutsougan has grown up in and learned about have taught her what she likes and pushed her to find her own identity and who she wants to be. Togo, a tight-knit community of people that care about each other vs. the U.S, where people are much more private is a substantial change. While these are very different communities, Noutsougan learned from these varying experiences and found positive aspects of both. “I do enjoy my privacy but when I did go back I missed hanging out with my neighbors and just being all friends and things like that,” said Noutsougan. Noutsougan and her family continue to stay in touch with their friends, neighbors and extended family back in Togo. They travel back every other year. She visits her family, friends and her close community.

While she misses some aspects of her hometown, there are many attributes she loves here as well. After moving to the U.S. and adapting to the new culture, Noutsougan has found herself through getting involved in extracurricular activities. Collision is one activity that has greatly impacted her. “I think Collision has been such a blessing for me since freshman year because it allowed me to get to know a lot more people, and I feel like I wouldn’t be where I am without them. They really helped me grow and see the world more differently and not only be a better leader in my school, but to be kinder to everyone and just be a better person,” said Noutsougan. With her many extracurriculars and high-achieving academics, Noutsougan stands out as a shining star at LHS. Adding on a backstory of multiple cultures, she is able to look from others’ perspectives and take their point of view into consideration. With all of these top-notch qualities, many may wonder what this outstanding student plans to do in the future. “I am planning on getting my education here but my main goal after I become a dermatologist is to go back there and build a hospital that could treat patients without them having to worry about their finances. My dad just went back and started an organization with education and handing out school supplies, so I want to follow in his footsteps but focus on healthcare,” said Noutsougan.

DESIGN BY

SAMANTHA ZEECK

PHOTOS PROVIDED BY JENNIFER

NOUTSOUGAN

KITTY POULES

ROSE HOFFELT BY

PAIGE GORDON

The world would be pretty boring without any color. Luckily, with many of our student bodies sporting vibrant colored hair, LHS has no shortage of color. According to the data I collected, it seems that most students here at LHS have dyed their hair themselves rather than going to a stylist. Many have been dying their hair on their own for years and enjoy experimenting with color. Such as Rose Hoffelt, who currently has their hair dyed ginger. “It’s cheap and it’s fun so I have no regrets, but obviously it looks a little messier than if I had gotten it done professionally,” said Hoffelt. “I have been dying my hair since I was seven, and I’ve done blue, purple, pink, red, blonde, dark brown and now ginger. In the end, hair is just hair, and it always grows out. I love doing fun things with my hair, and if I end up hating it I can always just dye it over! There is such a stigma on people being weird when they have colored hair, and I think it’s ignorant and silly to think that way. It’s just hair!” For many students, dying their hair unique colors gives them more independence and allows them to coordinate and express their own personal style, like Maia Morrison, who is rocking bleached bangs. “I started with just the sides about a year and a half ago but went up to the bangs to frame my face better,” said Morrison. “It’s not a wacky or bold color, but I feel like it gives me more control over my appearance and helps me stand out more.” Some like changing the color of their hair because it just looks cool, and some choose colors with personal meanings. “I also use it as a way to use human psychology, as the color tones help how other people feel around you (uneasy, safe, calm, etc),” said Rin Tasuil. And even though things can go wrong, like accidentally frying your roots or staining every towel you own, it is still worth it. “My neck was stained blue for a month, and my shower curtain is permanently blue. But no regrets!” said Finnley Johnson. PHOTOS BY DESIGN BY

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Lydia NeLsoN

When sitting in class with Sofia Hein, one might not know that she has dual citizenship to the U.S. and Sweden. They also might not be aware of the fact that she is a swimmer and has competed in Swedish Nationals. Hein started swimming lessons at a young age like many other kids but did not think much of it at the time. However, once her dad started her on the swim team when she was five, she figured out that maybe this was something she could do for a while. “I started doing swimming lessons and I really liked it, but I think my parents started me on the swim team since my dad swam in college,” said Hein. Later, when Hein understood more about swimming, her team and everything that goes along with the sport, she learned that she really had a passion and loved the environment that comes with swimming competitively. “I have so many friends from swimming and it is a really close knit group because we spend so much time together and we practice everyday after school and in the morning, so I see the same people everyday,” said Hein. Just like any other teenager going to nationals for a sport, it is an impactful experience. But Hein´s experience was a little different from others. She went to Swedish Nationals at the young age of 14 and competed with the ¨big girls¨ on their relay team and also competed individually. “When I [moved to Sweden in]eighth grade, I went in the winter because they have a short course and a qualifying meet where you have to place in a certain time in order to qualify,” said Hein. “I was able to qualify Swedish junior nationals with my relay, and then we went to the big nationals.’’ Luckily for her, this was not her first time going to Sweden. Most of her mom’s side of the family actually lives

in Sweden as of right now, and they have been regularly visiting their family overseas since she was a baby. About every year, she and her family visit cousins, grandparents, aunts and uncles; the whole crew. That was one main reason why she is contemplating taking a gap year after her senior year of high school. She might take the next year to study in Sweden and live with her family. “I’m not sure if I want to go straight to college or if I will defer my education a year to go to Sweden next year with my family,” said Hein. “If I do go to Sweden I plan on studying architecture at one of the local colleges and shadowing at a hospital just to finalize or make a better decision,’’ said Hein. Hein has a couple ideas of what she wants to study whether that be pe-med, majoring in chemistry or an architecture major. No matter what path she chooses, she still wants to be able to keep her Spanish up to date. Hein has been given the opportunity to continue her swimming career in college, but she is not sure if she plans on doing that or focusing on her academics. “It depends where I go right now,” said Hein. “I would like to swim, and if I go to Sweden I will continue swimming there with my old team. It also depends on what college I go to because at some of them I would just prefer to focus on my academics because some of the schools have a fast-paced learning curriculum.” Whether she keeps swimming in the future or not, the community that she has made will last for a lifetime. “My coaches are so understanding and it is just a really positive and encouraging environment, and it really helps you to work towards your goals and encourages motivation.” desigN by

Lydia NeLsoN sofia heiN

photos provided by

ARIAHNA WELLS

One of the friendliest faces one will see as they walk into school to start their day is Coach, Jeff Halseth. Typically stationed at the front table with a friendly fellow face, officer Vanderhule, they are sure to brighten your day. Halseth is a man of many talents not only coaching golf and basketball but making lasting impressions on everyone he talks to, easily earning the spot of everyone’s favorite hall monitor. The title of a hall monitor entails many duties such as walking the halls to help escort kids to class which causes the miles to add up. “I walk the halls to make sure that students are where they are supposed to be, and I occasionally find a few who seem to be where they are not supposed to be,” said Halseth. “I usually get five to six miles a day walking the halls.” As hall monitor, Halseth is able to make a lot of meaningful connections with many students, which cannot only teach one many lessons but also can be an important aspect in their lives. “What this job has taught me is that for the most part, the students here at Lincoln

are great kids, which I already knew from when I was teaching here,” said Halseth. “They all have had certain parts of their lives to share, and it has been great getting to know some of the students I have escorted to class.” Coach Halseth’s job title is not just hall monitor and ensuring kids are where they are supposed to be, but also being a coach to various LHS sports teams. “I have been coaching boys golf for seven years, been helping with girls golf for three years and have been coaching basketball here at Lincoln at various levels for 31 years,” said Halseth. Before becoming a coach, Halseth played golf and basketball in high school with golf still being a passion he enjoys doing. “I played both basketball and golf in high school and played one year of golf in college at USD. Unfortunately, back then they had to make some cuts and golf was one of the programs that got cut,” said Halseth. However, where he finds a lot of enjoyment in his day is at the front table in the mornings before school where many friendly faces stop by to say hello. “I really enjoy the front table in the mornings before school starts because I do get quite a few students that stop by and visit,” said Halseth. Not only are the connections made between students and staff sure to leave a lasting impact, but it also gives one the opportunity to start their day off with a smile, something that can change the course of the day.

DESIGN BY

ARIAHNA WELLS

HENRY HAFT & CALEB HIATT

The beloved Sioux Falls taco shop, commonly referred to as “Gilly’s,” has locations on Minnesota Avenue, Louise Avenue and 10th Street. Gilly’s has many options for not only tacos but also burritos. We ordered grilled chicken, carnitas, carne asada and shredded beef tacos.

Caleb’s review:

My favorite taco that we got at Gilly’s were the carnitas, which comes with guacamole, cilantro and onions. I added lime and Cholula hot sauce, as I do to every taco, to complete this perfect combination. Another taco that stood out to me was the grilled chicken because it comes in a hard shell, which was surprisingly good since I am more of a soft shell guy. This taco comes with cheese and lettuce which makes for a wonderfully simple combo. The carne asada and shredded beef were also solid tacos but did not stand out as much as the carnitas.

Henry’s review:

Some would refer to Gilly’s as the good old reliable. The food is always awesome and delicious. It is a fan favorite because of its excellent food and hours. Caleb and I visited Giliberto’s on a mission to try the tacos there. Out of the four tacos I tried from Gilly’s, my favorite was the carne asada. The tacos have a great meat base and have excellent toppings to compliment it and to compliment the tortilla.

8/10

Azteca is the most expensive of the options since it is a sit-down restaurant as opposed to the fast-casual Gilly’s and Abelardo’s. While Azteca does more of a number on customers’ wallets, they serve beans and rice with their plates of three tacos, so the portions are bigger. The two kinds of tacos we ordered were carne asada and adobada, which is pork marinated in red chili sauce.

Caleb’s review:

As a first-time Azteca taco consumer, I had my expectations set according to the price. Needless to say, my expectations were met and exceeded because of the excellent flavor brought on by meat and the customization factor. Since Azteca serves tacos on plates with rice, beans, guacamole, pico de gallo and coleslaw, customers are able to customize their tacos to their liking. My favorite taco that Henry and I tried was the adobada. As a former adobada virgin, I was stunned to find I was missing out on such a lump of tender, flavorful meat. The carne asada was also a really good taco, but the adobada stole the show.

Henry’s review:

Azteca is a restaurant I have driven past hundreds of times and never tried, so I was excited to finally sit down and test it out. Azteca was the most expensive option and was a sit-down restaurant with servers, but it was expensive for a reason. The tacos we had at Azteca were the best tacos we had overall. I loved that the tacos came with a side of beans, rice and a very fresh pico.

9/10

This establishment opened up right down the street from Gilly’s three years ago and quickly made a name for itself, winning best express burrito in Sioux Falls in 2021. One can only wonder if their burrito expertise translates to other areas of Mexican cuisine. The tacos at Abelardo’s are slightly bigger than Gilly’s, so we only ordered three different kinds; those being carnitas, carne asada and chicken.

Caleb’s review: The carnitas tacos here were also the best out of the ones we ordered. They were more seasoned than the ones at Gilly’s, but I am not so sure that they were better. While Gilly’s lets the meat speak for itself, Abelardo’s relies on seasoning to give the meat its flavor. While the carnitas differed from Gilly’s, the chicken tacos were more similar. The Abelardo’s chicken taco also had a hard shell with similar toppings. Henry’s review: Not nearly as popular as Gilly’s, Abelardo’s is a great alternative and is equally as satisfactory- maybe even a little better. I think that the Carnitas at Abelardos are better than Giliberto’s but Giliberto’s has better carne asada. The chicken tasted superb but it came in a hard shell that got soggy before I was able to dig in. The chicken taco was a disappointment, but overall, I thought that Abelardo’s was top tier and was a good amount of food for the money.

8/10

DESIGN BY PHOTOS BY

The locally owned grab-and-go taco spot is located on the edge of downtown and serves Mexican favorites with a choice of a few different portions of meat, including chicken and pork, which we ordered.

Caleb’s review:

I was slightly disappointed when I first bit into the chicken tacos. The flavor was not bad, but it was dry and did not live up to my expectations. However, the pork tacos redeemed the restaurant for me, they are what will make me go back to Tortilleria Hernandez for a second time. The pork here was a similar style to the Azteca adobado; it was exceptionally tender and packed with a spicy punch. One aspect of the Tortilleria Hernandez tacos that I admired is that their tacos have minimal toppings and allow the meat to speak for itself.

Henry’s review:

Going into Tortilleria Hernandez, I had very high expectations. I started out eating the chicken taco which overall I give a 5/10. The chicken tacos were very dry and flavorless. After the chicken taco, I had the pork tacos which were significantly better than the chicken but still not great. Tortilleria Hernandez is ranked lower on my list and for a good reason.

HENRY HAFT & CALEB HIATT HENRY HAFT & CALEB HIATT

5.5/10

B A K I N G

The doors above were salvaged from torn-down local homes and farms. Clemmer and Weeldreyer hand scrubbed, sanded and painted them.

T H E

ANNA ENGELS, EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

A R T

O F

Featured on the left are two creations that Prairie Cocoa & Confections specialize in.

hen the world was faced with one of it’s biggest challenges in life, two humbled friends used their rich source of creativity to bring viability back into the hearts of many. In the spring of 2021, Prairie Cocoa & Confections opened its doors to the city and members of Sioux Falls. Not long after, they gained the trust of the individuals to permanently supply them with desirable desserts and refreshments. The names of the entrepreneurs who brought originality and solace to Sioux Falls are Keyes Clemmer, the culinarian, and Courtney Weeldreyer, the marketing and event manager. Prior to moving to Sioux Falls, Clemmer gained the experience she needed to construct and operate a successful career through her devotion to baking. “I owned a bakery in New York City and learned a lot about opening and running a successful ‘brick and mortar’ business through trial and error. Even though we opened Prairie Cocoa & Confections in the middle of a pandemic, Sioux Falls has embraced and supported us,” said Clemmer. “I grew up in a military family and traveled [all over the world]; experiencing this is what developed my passion for culinary and pastry arts. Our tagline is ‘Eat More Art,’ as I specifically love creating fun, playful and

creative desserts.” As co-owner of the bakery, Weeldreyer believes that this shop brings spontaneity to those who give the bakery a chance to show them what they do best, and the location of the bakery only helps. “We wanted to open Prairie Cocoa & Confections in town because Sioux Falls doesn’t really have what we have. They have other bakeries, but not an actual dessert bar where they come and try what they want,” said Weeldreyer. “We believe that downtown is the heart of Sioux Falls, and we love the location. Now that the east side is branching out more around us, I think that it’s a great location for a lot of foot traffic as well.” Although carrying a large selection of exclusive confections, the bakery still has its fan favorites, which they have continuously tweaked to perfection. “Depending on the season, I would say either our cheesecake or Cake-in-a-Cup are our most popular treats. Cake-in-a-Cup is more towards our summer items, whereas cheesecake is just... well, everyone loves cheesecake,” said Weeldreyer. Taking on a small business in a town this size, and during such unpredictable times, Clemmer and Weeldreyer have surpassed all challenges. Their most recent endeavor comes as business owners are faced with budgetary and workload issues.

“Our biggest struggle is probably staffing and labor control. Because pricing is so high right now, being able to stay staffed is just hard, but everyone is having those issues at the moment,” said Weeldreyer. “Luckily, with being a small business, we don’t need a lot of employees. It’s not very hard to find a good worker to help with the dessert bar. In our case, it comes down to finding a person in the kitchen that can do what Keyes does.” These women are not done yet. As the years go on, the two partners have many plans for Prairie Cocoa & Confections; some even include new sites for their clientele. “Hopefully, in the next few years, we will have more locations, a Cocoa Truck and more expansion. Ultimately, we want to just create a welcoming atmosphere where people can come for non-alcoholic beverages as well as fun desserts,” said Weeldreyer. No matter what circumstances come their way, Clemmer and Weeldreyer keep customers’ comfortability as their number one priority, making the bakery a highly respected destination for Sioux Falls. “The most important rule in our playbook is to try and make everyone who visits us feel welcome, like old friends and family, and to create a unique, sweet memory,” said Clemmer. PHOTOS BY DESIGN BY

ANNA ENGELS ANNA ENGELS

LYDIA SARBACKER

Among the large array of students that LHS hosts, many take on very busy schedules throughout the year. Lauren Yu, in particular, looks forward to one of her last years on the LHS girls golf team amongst juggling her extensive spring schedule. Yu, a junior at LHS, is involved in both Golf and the LHS Dance Team. Additionally, she is enrolled in five AP classes, keeping her immensely occupied while in season. On top of both of her sports and substantial classes, Yu also remains highly active while participating in clubs such as orchestra and various National Honor Societies, making her one dedicated student-athlete. As most students involved in many activities know, Yu often faces the vast discrepancies of staying up to date on school while in the midst of her season, from missing tournaments to balancing practices, Yu’s tenacity to stay on track pushes her to be successful in both aspects of her high school career. “Since golf is during AP testing season, it puts a lot of stress on the golfers who have a couple of AP tests one week along with two or three tournaments,” said Yu. “Last year there were a couple of times where I had an AP test in the morning and then had DESIGN BY

ADYSON SAND

to play in a tournament right after. However, by both being prepared for the test and practicing consistently, I ended up not doing too badly in both.” However, Yu attests that it is not always easy to stay motivated and up-to-date on schoolwork when golf is in full swing. “Golf is actually pretty mentally and physically draining since you’re out on the course for four to five hours,” said Yu. “Often (actually most times), one bad shot can mess up your mental game and affect the rest of your round, and I find it hard to find the motivation to study after playing badly.” Yu recalls many times within her years participating in golf that she had to consciously work hard to balance both a tedious amount of schoolwork while still upholding her commitment to the golf team.

“Last season, I was able to keep up my grades by managing my time doing assignments ahead of time if possible or taking a nap and getting up early the next day to finish any homework I couldn’t get to,” said Yu. After all her years of diligence, Yu in her final few seasons left at LHS reflects on the experiences joining golf gave her and the way her involvement has formed her high school experience into something truly rewarding. “Since I joined in 7th grade, I was able to meet a lot of upperclassmen who could give me social and class advice, and who really served as role models as I began high school,” said Yu. “This past year I’ve been able to gain really close friendships with the girls on the varsity team and the coaches, and overall always look forward to the season.”

BYBY DAISY LARSON DAISY LARSON

Lauren LaurenMerkley Merkley

Hannah HannahDumansky Dumansky

Cody CodyEgger Egger

1. “A blanket.” 1. “A blanket.”

1. “Tums because you always 1. “Tums because you always getget thethe pre-race jitters.” pre-race jitters.”

1. “Throwers areare quite known 1. “Throwers quite known forfor food, so so as as many snacks as as food, many snacks possible. I also bring mymy small possible. I also bring small muscle gun.” muscle gun.”

2. “Being able to to cheer onon 2. “Being able cheer other people and also them other people and also them cheering you onon and being cheering you and being there forfor you when you’re there you when you’re down.” down.” 3.“It’s made meme stronger, physically and also mentally 3.“It’s made stronger, physically and also mentally because there areare a lot of things you have to to because there a lot of things you have overcome.” overcome.”

2. “Having a group of people 2. “Having a group of people to to runrun with, butbut also hangout with, also hangout with. WeWe dodo spend a lot of of with. spend a lot time together, and it’sit’s funfun to to time together, and dodo stuff together that’s notnot always onon thethe track.” stuff together that’s always track.” 3. “You can always push boundaries. You might think 3. “You can always push boundaries. You might think you can runrun a certain time in a and then surprise you can a certain time inmeet a meet and then surprise yourself. ThisThis also carries over to to classes and lifelife in in yourself. also carries over classes and general.” general.”

Linnea LinneaNesheim Nesheim

3. “Don’t panic. Just relax before you race, then gogo outout 3. “Don’t panic. Just relax before you race, then there, compete and have fun.” there, compete and have fun.”

Ethan EthanBoyens Boyens

1. “Ibuprofen forfor sure. And 1. “Ibuprofen sure. And a Sprite, butbut I never telltell mymy a Sprite, I never coaches that.” coaches that.”

2424

1. “I make sure to to bring 1.always “I always make sure bring foodfruit snacks, granola foodfruit snacks, granola bars, protein bars, Gatorade bars, protein bars, Gatorade pods, etc. Those areare thethe pods, etc. Those necessities.” necessities.”

2. “The community wewe have. 2. “The community have. You always have a friend You always have a friend there to to help you.” there help you.”

Johnny JohnnyCooper Cooper

3. “To work your hardest and don’t sellsell yourself short.” 3. “To work your hardest and don’t yourself short.”

Collin CollinBlind Blind

1. “Extra pair of socks in case 1. “Extra pair of socks in case your feet getget sweaty and your feet sweaty and wet.” wet.”

3. “To handle pressure really well, because in track you 3. “To handle pressure really well, because in track you have only one shot.” have only one shot.”

2. “Being able to to have people 2. “Being able have people to to lift lift you upup when you’re you when you’re down and holding people down and holding people accountable when they accountable when they make mistakes. And when you win, it’sit’s awesome to to make mistakes. And when you win, awesome celebrate with your teammates.” celebrate with your teammates.”

3. “How to to train when nono one is looking, how to to work 3. “How train when one is looking, how work without anyone seeing or anyone noticing.” without anyone seeing or anyone noticing.”

Gavin GavinBrison Brison

1. “I mymy track bag and in in 1.have “I have track bag and there I have mymy spikes, a pair there I have spikes, a pair of shorts, a pair of sweatpants of shorts, a pair of sweatpants and a sweatshirt because you and a sweatshirt because you never know if it’s going to to bebe never know if it’s going really hothot or really cold.” really or really cold.” 2. “The people deﬁ nitely areare 2. “The people deﬁ nitely mymy favorite part, and justjust being around everyone every favorite part, and being around everyone every day. They outweigh thethe running part forfor me.” day. They outweigh running part me.”

2. “The camaraderie. Every 2. “The camaraderie. Every single meet day, wewe gogo outout to to single meet day, eateat right after. It’sIt’s a lot of fun.” right after. a lot of fun.”

1. “I bring mymy lucky 1.always “I always bring lucky headband.” headband.”

hang outout with.” hang with.”

2. “Having funfun because if if 2. “Having because you’re by by yourself doing you’re yourself doing something it’sit’s notnot nearly something nearly as as funfun as as when you have a a when you have group of people you likelike to to group of people you

3. “Persistence. Making sure that you continue to to dodo 3. “Persistence. Making sure that you continue things nono matter how difﬁdifﬁ cult it isitor notnot very much things matter how cult is iforit’s if it’s very much funfun in the moment, because you know it’sit’s gonna bebe funfun in the moment, because you know gonna later on.” later on.”

tight-knit.” tight-knit.”

2. “The friendship. Our pole 2. “The friendship. Our pole vaulters areare super close and vaulters super close and

3. “No matter what you start with, you can always 3. “No matter what you start with, you can always become something.” become something.”

Norah NorahChristiansen Christiansen 1. “I sunﬂ ower seeds, a a 1.carry “I carry sunﬂ ower seeds, sweatshirt and mymy throwing sweatshirt and throwing shoes. And I always chug a a shoes. And I always chug monster before I throw.” monster before I throw.” 2. “I thethe environment, 2.love “I love environment, and I’mI’m obviously with mymy and obviously with best friend, Kyra Knudtson.” best friend, Kyra Knudtson.” 3. “Track, being a single-led sport, means you’re by by 3. “Track, being a single-led sport, means you’re yourself so so you have to to push yourself and know your yourself you have push yourself and know your competition.” competition.”

ElliotT ElliotTRenville Renville 1. “The food cooler.” 1. “The food cooler.” 2. “You start to to generate a a 2. “You start generate family kind of environment. family kind of environment. WeWe have a group chat have a group chat and always plan things forfor and always plan things everyone to to gogo to.”to.” everyone 3. “How to to accept your failures and what you need to to 3. “How accept your failures and what you need work on.on. With throwing, it’sit’s a very personal sport and work With throwing, a very personal sport and it’sit’s notnot likelike a team sport where [someone else] diddid a team sport where [someone else] something wrong; it’sit’s what you diddid wrong.” something wrong; what you wrong.”

Kyra KyraKnudtson Knudtson

1. “I have sweatpants, 1.always “I always have sweatpants, a sweatshirt, throwing shoes a sweatshirt, throwing shoes and mymy running shoes. And and running shoes. And snacks because you’re there snacks because you’re there forfor a long time.” a long time.” 2. “Not necessarily competing 2. “Not necessarily competing at at thethe meets butbut getting to to meets getting hangout and cheer forfor your hangout and cheer your team and watch everybody else compete around you.” team and watch everybody else compete around you.” 3. “You’re gonna have your bad days. NotNot every meet 3. “You’re gonna have your bad days. every meet is going to to gogo your way and you’re notnot always going to to is going your way and you’re always going have your PR.PR. Learning to to getget through that hashas been a a have your Learning through that been huge lesson.” huge lesson.”

Katherine KatherineMickelson Mickelson 1. “I carry around 1.always “I always carry around cookies and thethe good snacks. cookies and good snacks. WeWe also always have energy also always have energy drinks.” drinks.” 2. “Everyone is so supportive 2. “Everyone is so supportive of each other. Especially in in of each other. Especially throwing, people want you to to throwing, people want you dodo your best, and they want you to to succeed. your best, and they want you succeed. 3. “Perseverance through learning new things and being 3. “Perseverance through learning new things and being coachable.” coachable.” DESIGN BY JADA SANDVALL DESIGN BY JADA SANDVALL BY DBY AISY LARSON PHOTOS DAISY LARSON PHOTOS

lhs college-bound athletes

all lhs college-bound athletes

Hannah Cisar Gustavus Adolphus College Soccer Ashton Dorman Augustana University Softball Hannah Dumansky University of St. Thomas Track & Field/Cross Country Cody Egger University of Sioux Falls Track & Field Bennett Geraets Augustana University Golf Gage Gohl Gustavus Adolphus College Tennis Kadin Groen Augustana University Cross Country Luke Honner South Dakota State University Golf Cameron Jackson Black Hills State University Basketball

MORGAN SANDNESS

High school athletes have worked hours on end to perfect their craft to continue both their education and their sport after high school. Many dream to move to the college level for sports after playing their whole life. Bennett Geraets and Adriana Ware have both committed to Augustana University to continue their athletic and academic careers after high school. Geraets, committed to men’s golf, has played for three years on varsity at LHS and has helped lead the Patriots to a State championship and two runner-ups. Ware has committed to acrobatics and tumbling after doing cheer since she was six years old. She has been cheering at LHS for three years on the competitive team. The transition from high school sports to college can be a full 180-degree turn as many college sports demand more hours and almost full year-round training. In high school sports, many compete with the same team or many of the same people every year. When the change to college comes, numerous are faced with meeting new people and the new experiences brought about.

“I love the relationships formed and the family you get to build within a team, the transferable skills: being teachable, having teamwork, communication and listening within the sport makes you a better person overall and is something I value,” said Ware. Lots of athletes start very young with the sport they continue with after high school. Years of training go into their craft for the next level. “I have played golf competitively for eight years and recreationally for 14,” said Geraets. “My biggest accomplishment would be shooting a 64 at Spring Creek.” High school sports can change athletes’ perspectives. The atmosphere in high school sports can be very contrasting to any sport competed at the club level. Many athletes can take what they learned in high school for the rest of their lives. “I am most proud of my growth and diverse range of positives within cheer. Starting out as a flier, and then turning into a strong base and still being able to do both positions when needed,” said Ware. “For the next coming years, I am excited to see a new perspective of life, meet new people and begin to fulfill my childhood dreams.” When starting a new program for a sport, countless challenges can be faced, including new teammates and coaches. “I knew the coach personally and we got along really well so I figured I could golf there, plus I know Augustana is connected to Sioux Falls,” said Geraets. “I am most excited for the team bonding because I know some of the guys already from playing golf so I will fit in well.”

all lhs college-bound athletes cont... BY

GAGE GOHL

workouts. Having workouts that we really got after it and go crazy and then having some easy days is rewarding and keeps me motivated and engaged.” When signing with a college to continue a sport, students are often blindsided by the fact that the main goal from college is still to get a degree. Being a student-athlete can definitely make college more enjoyable but is definitely prone to take some extra effort. “Being able to take AP classes while competing [in high school] has given me insight into what it will be like balancing my academic and athletic careers,” said Lehmann. As kids first pick up hobbies when they are younger, planning to pursue a sport is not always the initial thought, but soon after these hobbies can quickly turn into goals and dreams of a future in college. “Sports in college was something I always knew I would like to do but I wasn’t sure if I would have the opportunity,” said Groen. For others, the collegiate level of competition may not have initially been on their radar, but after recruitment is something that is too much to pass up. “I never intended on competing in college, [but] when the head coach at Augustana offered me a spot on the mat, I couldn’t decline,” said Lehmann.

In the transition from high school to college, only around 7% of athletes are able to make the jump to the collegiate level across all sports. While this number proves to be a very daunting and unlikely statement for many high school competitors, many LHS athletes continue to excel and compete in college. LHS has approximately 16 athletes committing to colleges this year to continue their student-athlete careers beyond high school. While there is no doubt that all schools will benefit from the athletes produced at LHS, it is Augustana University, just a few blocks away from LHS, that will be filling their roster with the most Patriot athletes. For some, the draw to Augustana may be its convenient location or price, but for others, it is the diversity in programs that are provided that other schools may not have. “Augustana is the first Midwest college to have an acrobatics and tumbling program. Once I was given the chance to compete… it felt like it was meant to be,” said senior Aubrie Lehmann who is signing for acrobatics and tumbling. As one can imagine, with only 7% of high school athletes continuing their competition, the transition from high school to college sports is often very difficult to accomplish. Despite the odds, LHS athletes have continued to find connections in “Once I was given the chance what they do at LHS to prepare them for the to compete… it felt like it was future. meant to be.” “Lincoln has prepared -Aubrie Lehmann me to work hard and get after it,” said senior runner Kadin Groen. “The training will be roughly the same, [but] the intensity will increase in

DESIGN BY MORGAN SANDNESS ARTWORK BY MORGAN SANDNESS

& JADA SANDVALL

Brynn Kirsch University of Kansas Volleyball

Kyra Knudtson Northern State University Softball Aubrie Lehmann Augustana University Cheer Lauren Merkley Augustana University Track & Field

Laine Mannes South Dakota School of Mines Track & Field Gabrielle McConnell West Texas A&M Softball Avery Nelson Augustana University Soccer Baily Randall North Dakota State University Volleyball Will Sugrue Augustana University Cross Country

Adriana Ware Augustana University Acrobatics & Tumbling

Claire Yunag Northwestern College Golf

The spring season brings along one of the most popular sports, track and field, but also one of LHS’s best-performing sports: boys tennis. The boys’ tennis team has won seven consecutive championships within the last eight years, (the 2020 COVID-19 year did not allow the boys’ tennis season to happen). Boys tennis is one of the only sports at LHS that allows seventh and eighth-graders to participate in the high school matches, either on JV or Varsity. Many of the players who are on the boys’ tennis team now have been playing since middle school. Sophomore Rocky McKenzie, who has been playing tennis ever since he was young, has found great joy in playing tennis at the high school level. “This is my fourth year playing for Lincoln. [I have been playing] since seventh grade,” said McKenzie. “I played five my seventh grade year and then I played two last year.” As a tennis player, for high school and for college, one’s rankings could change from year to year. Every year, seniors are graduating, and new players are coming in. If a senior graduates

this presents opportunities for underclassmen to get seeded higher. Last year, senior James Yousef played as the five seed for singles and the two seed for doubles. “This year, I am either hoping to be the three or four seed in singles and hopefully play the two seed for doubles,” said Yousef. “The shift upwards is mainly because of the loss of a senior from varsity the previous year.” Having won the past seven consecutive state titles in a row can bring upon a lot of pressure for the players on the LHS tennis team. These consecutive championships

THE FEAT TO AN

EIGHT-PEAT by

HannaH Cisar

have not only proved LHS to be the best boys tennis team the past eight years, but it also puts a target on each player’s back as every other team in their conference makes it their goal to beat the undefeated LHS boys tennis team. “This season I expect nothing less than winning another state title for Lincoln. I hope to make a ton of memories and enjoy my last tennis season with LHS,” said Yousef. “As for my personal goals, I expect to win the singles state title for my flight as well as the doubles state title.” Along with any sports team or club, one of the pHotos provided by roCky design by HannaH Cisar

MCkenzie & JaMes yousef

most important characteristics needed is good chemistry. When the chemistry between the players is high, the team is almost unstoppable. For tennis especially, when two teammates are playing doubles together, it is crucial that they are on the same page and are working well together. “If a team can work together and have good chemistry, then they can plan things out better and have more of a defined set of goals going into each match,” said McKenzie. On Monday, March 14, 2022, tryouts and practice for tennis began. In the first couple of weeks of tryouts, the players have to play each other in challenge matches. During these matches, players of similar abilities play in a match against each other to see who gets ranked at the higher flight. The LHS tennis team had their first debut of the season on Tuesday, March 31, 2022, where they played Washburn Minnesota. To stay tuned with the LHS boys tennis team during the season, you can check out the SDHSAA where it shows dates, matches, times, locations and results of all matches.

BY BY E EMMA MMA F FORSTER ORSTER

In In many many ways, ways, social social media media holds holds aa completely completely different different function function than than itit did did when when itit was was first first created. created. From From TikTok’s TikTok’s impact impact on on the the music music industry industry to to politicians’ politicians’ use use of of Twitter, Twitter, social social media media influences influences every every aspect aspect of of society. society. But But as as its its importance importance grows grows and and the the general general population population spends spends more more time time using using social social media, media, itit isis easy easy to to become become detached detached from from the the real real people people impacted impacted by by the the issues issues discussed discussed online. online. Social Social media media can can be, be, and and has has been, been, incredibly incredibly effective effective in in spreading spreading awareness awareness and and inspiring inspiring action action for for aa variety variety of of social social justice justice causes. causes. When When this this interaction, interaction, inspiration inspiration and and information information comes comes only only from from social social media media and and other other online online outlets, outlets, individuals individuals begin begin to to lack lack the the real-world real-world experience experience to to link link to to these these interactions. interactions. Political Political and and social social discourse discourse on on social social media media can can be be helpful helpful in in gaining gaining different different perspectives perspectives and and learning learning about about issues issues that that affect affect other other groups groups of of people, people, but but they they can can also also cause cause the the dissolution dissolution of of communication communication skills skills that that are are effective effective in in the the real real world. world. This This phenomenon phenomenon isis commonly commonly referred referred to to as as being being ‘chronically ‘chronically online.’ online.’ Spending Spending an an exorbitant exorbitant amount amount of of time time on on social social media media contracts contracts attention attention spans, spans, encourages encourages information information binging binging and and diminishes diminishes communication communication effectiveness, effectiveness, according according to to Thrive Thrive Global Global.. Being Being chronically chronically online online has has numerous numerous consequences, consequences, both both in in the the online online and and offline offline worlds. worlds. Individuals Individuals who who spend spend lots lots of of time time online online tend tend to to over-engage over-engage in in destructive destructive discourse, discourse, often often giving giving what what have have been been called called ‘chronically ‘chronically online online takes.’ takes.’ Too Too focused focused on on popularized popularized words words and and phrases phrases and and being being overly overly politically politically correct, correct, ‘chronically ‘chronically online online takes’ takes’ often often draw draw parallels parallels between between two two completely completely different different situations situations or or dramatize dramatize aa situation situation based based on on online online information information intake. intake. Examples Examples of of this this include include aa TikTok TikTok asking asking “Why “Why isis itit so so normalized normalized to to stop stop drinking drinking when when pregnant? pregnant? Isn’t Isn’t not not wanting wanting your your baby baby to to have have disabilities disabilities kinda kinda ableist?” ableist?” AA perfect perfect example example of of being being chronically chronically online, online, this this TikTok TikTok contorts contorts ableism, ableism, aa form form of of discrimintation discrimintation which which harms harms millions millions of of people people in in their their daily daily lives, lives, in in order order to to align align itit with with aa view view most most (and (and likely likely all) all) disability-rights disability-rights advocates advocates would would not not agree agree with. with. The The genuine genuine belief belief that that this this comparison comparison isis accurate accurate isis aa result result of of an an intake intake of of information information without without the the real-world real-world interaction interaction to to accompany accompany it. it. Engaging Engaging in in offline offline activism activism and and conversations conversations isis key key to to balancing balancing the the information information gained gained online online and and preventing preventing harmful harmful views views from from developing developing and and proliferating. proliferating. AA large large portion portion of of social social and and political political information information on on social social media media comes comes from from ‘Instagram ‘Instagram infographic infographic activism.’ activism.’ This This term term refers refers to to accounts accounts such such as as ‘Impact’ ‘Impact’ and and “So “So

you you want want to to talk talk about’ about’ on on Instagram, Instagram, which which produce produce aesthetically aesthetically pleasing pleasing infographics infographics and and slideshows slideshows full full of of information information on on current current events events and and political political issues. issues. This This information information can can be be beneficial beneficial in in spreading spreading awareness, awareness, but but more more importantly, importantly, itit can can be be damaging damaging and and can can promote promote the the behavior behavior of of being being chronically chronically online. online. By By intaking intaking an an excessive excessive amount amount of of information, information, especially especially from from these these accounts, accounts, which which simplify simplify and and condense condense complex complex issues, issues, individuals individuals can can feel feel they they are are experts experts on on aa topic topic they they really really are are not. not. This This use use of of social social media media makes makes activism activism aa performative performative action, action, rather rather than than aa promotion promotion of of those those impacted impacted by by the the issues issues being being discussed, discussed, further further removing removing the the information information and and those those consuming consuming itit from from the the actual actual demographics demographics affected. affected. Although Although these these consequences consequences are are increasingly increasingly prominent, prominent, itit isis also also important important to to realize realize that that social social media, media, including including its its activism, activism, can can have have benefits. benefits. But But the the only only way way these these benefits benefits can can lead lead to to real-world real-world actions actions isis through through the the successful successful merging merging of of the the online online and and offline offline worlds. worlds. “Bridging “Bridging the the gap gap between between offline offline relationships relationships and and online online connections connections can can help help to to maintain maintain valuable valuable relations relations and and increase increase skill skill development,” development,” said said Maria Maria Pantalone, Pantalone, author author and and communication communication consultant. consultant. In In order order for for any any benefits benefits of of online online activism activism to to come come to to fruition, fruition, one one must must utilize utilize the the information information gained gained online online to to prioritize prioritize offline offline relationships relationships and and offline offline impact. impact. This This means means maintaining maintaining focus focus on on those those impacted impacted by by social social and and political political issues issues instead instead of of focusing focusing solely solely on on social social media media appearance appearance and and discourse. discourse. The The main main catalyst catalyst of of these these digital digital consequences, consequences, and and the the inability inability to to transfer transfer online online activism activism to to offline offline action, action, isis the the overuse overuse of of social social media. media. Pantalone Pantalone continues, continues, saying saying we we must must “not “not let let technology technology dominate dominate our our lives lives and and therefore therefore make make us us less less human.” human.” This This isis exactly exactly what what many, many, especially especially those those categorized categorized as as ‘chronically ‘chronically online,’ online,’ have have done. done. By By rejecting rejecting traditional traditional communication, communication, we we dismiss dismiss human human interaction, interaction, which which includes includes aa level level of of understanding, understanding, nuance nuance and and complexity complexity that that most most online online communication, communication, specifically specifically that that which which stems stems from from Instagram Instagram infographic infographic activism, activism, lacks. lacks. In In an an increasingly increasingly online online world, world, itit isis necessary necessary to to utilize utilize the the resources resources and and information information made made available available by by the the internet. internet. But But even even more more crucial crucial isis the the prioritization prioritization of of humanity humanity when when learning learning about, about, discussing discussing and and posting posting about about social social issues. issues. Recognizing Recognizing the the lack lack of of nuance nuance social social media media activism activism often often promotes, promotes, as as well well as as managing managing social social media media use, use, isis crucial crucial to to avoiding avoiding aa chronically chronically online online mindset. mindset. DESIGN DESIGNBY BYE EMMA MMAFFORSTER ORSTER

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stuff right away, so it’s constant worrying about if my sister will be okay, what’s going to happen or when they could start bombing my home city next,” said Pavlus. “When I first heard about the invasion on that Thursday I was watching Ukraine through videos, and it’s a really bad feeling. I don’t wish this feeling on anybody because you know any second, any day, your family could be gone.” According to Time Magazine, across the country, thousands are thought to have been killed, both civilians and soldiers, in nearly two weeks of fighting. Russian forces have seen their advances stopped in certain areas — including around Kyiv, the capital, where a vast armored column has been stalled for days — by fiercer resistance than i expected from the by Veronica iseminger by Veronica seminger Ukrainians. While sanctions and tensions rise While against Russia, sanctions and tensions rise against Russia, A vast amount of Ukrainians have been you may be wondering what this you means to you as may be wondering what this means to you as making the treacherous journey to their an American. Aside from thousands an of innocent American. Aside from thousands of innocent surrounding borders in hopes of refuge Ukrainian lives taken and millions Ukrainian displaced, the threat lives taken and millions displaced, the t and safety. Poland has an already granted of not only an American involved of war resulting not from only American involved war resulting fr refuge to over one million Ukrainians, and this, but a nuclear attack can be this, anxiety inducing for but a nuclear attack can be anxiety inducing f Hungary has received 200,000 Ukranians everyone. ever yone. with otherit surrounding nations taking on Though it seems that being thousands Though of miles away seems that being thousands of miles aw 700,000. Hospitals and orphanages have citizens from the effects of keeps American citizens from keeps the effects of a foreign American a forei been bombed in the hopes to instill fear into conflict, that is not always the case. conflict, that is not always the case. Current Current number of number of not only the citizens, but the government ase have heard the countless horror We have heard the countless horror Ukrainian Ukrainian refugees in: refugees in: W well. stories from Ukrainians living in the stories from Ukrainians living in the > > Poland:P 2,144,244 oland: 2,144,244 “I don’t understand why they would do this, nation who are feeling the attacks first nation who are feeling the attacks fir they know Ukraine is a strong country. many hand, but it is still difficult for many > > Romania: Romania: 555,021 hand, but it is still difficult for 555,021 They want our resources, people and Americans to imagine something Americans to imagine something government,” said Pavlus. them. so devastating as a reality for them. > > Moldova: Moldova: 371, 104 so devastating as a reality for371, 104 However, in the U.S., a nation with However, in the U.S., a nation with full of such a diverse population and full of > > Hungary: Hungar 324, 397 such a diverse population y:and 324, 397 immigrants, there are those who are immig rants, there are those who are left worrying about their families left worr ying about their families > > Russia: Russia: 271, 254 271, 254 overseas. overseas. Mykola (Nick) Pavlus is 18 years old Mykola (Nick) Pavlus is 18 years ol > > Slovakia: Slovakia: 256, 838 256, 838 and was born in Poltava, Ukraine. He and was bor n in Poltava, Ukraine. H moved to the U.S. four years ago, but moved to the U.S. four years ago, bu > > Belarus:Belarus: 4,938 4,938 for him, living in America does not free for him, living in America does not f him from the sorrows of his homeland as he stillfrom has him the sorrows of his homeland as he still h immediate friends and family immediate living in the country at friends and family living in the countr y war. war. “It just really sucks because you“It don’t know what just really sucks because you don’t know what design by Veronica Iseminger could happen in even a day. The news can’t tell you could happen in even a day. The news can’t tell you photo provided by Flickr w

HAD I NEVER JOINED DEBATE. “I DO NOT REGRET QUITTING, AND DOUBT I EVER WILL. LIKE EVERYTHING ELSE IN LIFE, IT WAS A DECISION THAT FIT THE PERIOD, AND WHEN THAT PERIOD ENDED, THE DECISION WENT WITH IT.” by by Thompson hompson Wakefield akefield

Earlier Earlier this this school school year, year, after after two two tiresome, tiresome, anxious anxious and and ecstatic ecstatic years, years, II quit quit LHS’ LHS’ debate debate team. team. During During the the summer summer prior prior to to my my freshman freshman year, year, II received received bits bits and and pieces pieces of of advice advice from from my my older older siblings siblings whose whose high high school school experience experience was was defined defined by by competitive competitive speech. speech. Although Although II had had originally originally planned planned on on joining joining the the oral oral interpretation interpretation team, team, II knew knew II wanted wanted to to follow follow the the same same path path as as my my brother brother and and sister: sister: one one of of developing developing speaking, speaking, acting, acting, writing writing and and rhetorical rhetorical skills, skills, along along with with confidence confidence and and work work ethic. ethic. Like Like most most debaters, debaters, II took took on on the the activity activity due due to to my my love love of of arguing, arguing, outweighing outweighing my my enjoyment enjoyment of of acting. acting. That That decision decision became became the the most most influential influential II have have made made in in my my life life thus thus far. far. At At the the first first debate debate meeting, meeting, II met met aa host host of of intelligent intelligent and and distinguished distinguished students students looking looking for for the the same same goals goals as as II was. was. Among Among the the crowd, crowd, one one stood stood out out to to me me from from the the get-go get-go (and (and not not just just because because he he was was the the tallest tallest in in the the room). room). An An extraordinary extraordinary speaker speaker and and aa man man who who puts puts intent intent into into every every word word he he says, says, Daniel Daniel Bethke. Bethke. He He quickly quickly made made me me realize realize the the archetype archetype of of aa high high school school debater. debater. In In the the following following weeks, weeks, II attended attended the the first first Young Young Progressives Progressives Club Club meeting, meeting, presided presided by by Daniel, Daniel, of of the the 2019-2020 2019-2020 school school year. year. Inside Inside were were about about half half aa dozen dozen sophomores, sophomores, each each sitting sitting quietly quietly while while listening listening to to Daniel Daniel discuss discuss the the importance importance of of runoff runoff elections. elections. Even Even

as as someone someone who who was was interested interested in in politics politics of of all all sorts, sorts, the the only only thing thing keeping keeping me me at at that that club club was was Daniel. Daniel. II was was the the first first class class of of ‘23 ‘23 student student to to join join the the club, club, which which means means II had had no no friends friends there there for for aa while. while. The The second second ‘23 ‘23 was was Zach Zach Wrightsman, Wrightsman, aa good good friend friend of of mine mine whom whom II brought brought to to keep keep me me company. company. Fast Fast forward forward to to today, today, the the club club is is nearly nearly half half junior junior with with five five times times the the total total number number of of attendance attendance as as my my freshman freshman year. year. Last Last year year II was was elected elected Vice Vice President, President, working working with with Daniel Daniel each each week week to to make make the the club club greater greater than than we we could could have have ever ever imagined. imagined. In In contrast contrast to to Daniel, Daniel, aa serious serious and and calm calm individual, individual, II also also met met Abbie Abbie DeKramer DeKramer through through debate. debate. Abbie Abbie stood stood out out from from the the crowd crowd as as well, well, but but in in aa much much different different way; way; from from the the get-go, get-go, II could could tell tell she she was was the the heart heart and and soul soul of of the the team. team. Not Not an an ounce ounce of of insecurity insecurity or or tradition tradition could could be be sensed sensed off off of of Abbie, Abbie, and and immediately immediately she she welcomed welcomed me me to to the the team. team. II remember remember thinking thinking throughout throughout the the summer summer before before my my freshman freshman year year that that there there were were two two options options of of how how to to spend spend these these next next four four years: years: either either II could could pile pile up up on on rigorous rigorous classes, classes, invest invest in in extracurricular extracurricular activities activities and and hope hope for for aa scholarship, scholarship, or or II could could go go out out every every night night with with friends, friends, learning learning more more about about life life and and myself. myself. What What Abbie Abbie taught taught me, me, through through her her combination combination of of brilliant brilliant argumentative argumentative skills skills and and consistent consistent outings outings of of leisure, leisure, is is that that you you don’t don’t have have

to to sacrifice sacrifice one one to to achieve achieve the the other. other. By By way way of of debate, debate, she she became became one one of of my my good good friends friends and and an an even even better better mentor, mentor, guiding guiding me me through through my my first first two two years years of of high high school. school. Abbie Abbie is is now now at at George George Washington Washington University University in in Washington Washington D.C. D.C. with with aa full-ride full-ride scholarship, scholarship, spending spending half half her her days days studying studying and and the the other other half half clubbing. clubbing. Someone Someone who who II had had never never expected expected to to become become friends friends with with was was Nyapal Nyapal Chuol, Chuol, another another novice novice debater debater competing competing in in the the same same form form II was. was. II remember remember when when Nyapal Nyapal first first moved moved to to Sioux Sioux Falls Falls and and started started going going to to my my middle middle school, school, Patrick Patrick Henry. Henry. In In seventh seventh grade, grade, II was was the the only only student student in in accelerated accelerated math math that that would would never never be be allowed allowed to to attend attend the the pizza pizza party party nor nor get get straight straight A’s A’s due due to to my my bad bad behavior behavior and and inability inability to to focus. focus. This This made made me me resent resent the the other other students students in in the the class, class, including including Nyapal. Nyapal. After After talking talking more more our our sophomore sophomore year, year, II realized realized that that she she wasn’t wasn’t like like all all the the other other Poindexters Poindexters in in my my former former math math class; class; she she had had aa sophisticated sophisticated view view of of the the world, world, with with the the experience experience and and confidence confidence to to back back it it up. up. Taking Taking aa liking liking to to her, her, we we began began eating eating lunch lunch together together in in the the Statesman Statesman room, room, before before we we both both had had open open lunch. lunch. It It was was there there that that Nyapal Nyapal asked asked me me ifif she she could could bring bring one one of of her her friends friends to to eat eat with with us. us. II trusted trusted her her sense sense of of character, character, and and so so we we started started eating eating in in aa group group of of three three each each day. day. That That lunch lunch was was the the first first interaction interaction

that that II had had with with my my current current significant significant other, other, Nev Nev Peterson. Peterson. In In that that same same year year -- my my sophomore sophomore year year -II got got the the chance chance to to judge judge the the fresh-to-ourfresh-to-ourschool school debate debate novices novices in in their their first first round. round. The The girl girl who who II voted voted down down was was named named Reese Reese Duncan, Duncan, who who had had transitioned transitioned from from Harrisburg Harrisburg North North Middle Middle School School to to LHS. LHS. Without Without any any friends friends that that went went to to LHS, LHS, and and her her quiet quiet nature, nature, Reese Reese appeared appeared to to me me as as the the same same of of the the countless countless other other shy shy people people at at our our school. school. Her Her status status as as the the anti-archetype anti-archetype of of my my usual usual pals pals made made her her an an unlikely unlikely friend. friend. Despite Despite this, this, II saw saw something something different different in in Reese. Reese. She She was was not not like like the the rest rest of of the the novice novice debaters, debaters, nor nor her her quiet quiet counterparts; counterparts; she she had had aa desire desire to to learn learn more more about about herself herself and and the the world world around around her. her. While While she she seemed seemed to to be be nearly nearly opposite opposite of of me me personality personality wise, wise, we we had had much much in in common common on on aa deeper deeper level. level. Introducing Introducing her her to to my my social social circle circle didn’t didn’t just just give give me me aa new new friend, friend, it it gave gave me me aa new new perspective. perspective. As As the the only only reserved reserved and and cooperative cooperative friend friend II have have ever ever had, had, Reese’s Reese’s companionship companionship allowed allowed me me to to peer peer into into the the world world of of introverts introverts and and learn learn that that we we have have more more in in common common than than II had had initially initially thought. thought. II would would not not even even be be writing writing stories stories for for the the Statesman Statesman had had II not not joined joined debate. debate. At At one one of of the the first first meetings meetings II ever ever attended, attended, II met met then-sophomore then-sophomore and and Staff Staff Writer Writer Jazlyn Jazlyn White. White. She She inquired inquired about about the the classes classes II planned planned on on taking taking the the following following semester. semester. One One of of those those classes classes was was world world history, history, for for II did did not not know know there there was was an an AP AP version version (or (or what what AP AP even even meant). meant). Jazlyn Jazlyn explained explained that that taking taking both both would would be be unnecessary unnecessary and and that that aa much much better better use use of of my my time time would would be be taking taking journalism. journalism. At At the the time, time, II had had little little interest interest in in writing, writing, especially especially when when it it came came to to media. media. Nevertheless, Nevertheless, she she convinced convinced me, me, and and the the following following day day II asked asked my my counselor counselor to to switch switch the the two two classes. classes. Once Once the the second second semester semester began, began, II was was introduced introduced to to aa teacher teacher quite quite unlike unlike any any II had had had had before. before. The The way way in in which which she she spoke spoke to to her her students, students, not not as as ignorant ignorant and and foreign foreign children, children, but but rather rather as as complex complex individuals, individuals, made made her her more more than than just just aa teacher. teacher. I,I, and and countless countless other other students, students, felt felt respected, respected, understood understood and and most most of of all all appreciated. appreciated. Mrs. Mrs. Kroeze, Kroeze, after after reading reading my my less-than-impressive less-than-impressive stories, stories, invited invited me me to to join join the the Statesman. Statesman. There, There, II fell fell in in love love with with the the art. art. From From conveying conveying my my views views on on various various subjects subjects to to sharing sharing the the stories stories of of those those who who have have never never had had their their stories stories phoTo phoTo provided provided by by T Thompson hompson W Wakefield akefield design design by by C Chloe hloe h houWman ouWman

shared shared before, before, journalism journalism opened opened the the doors doors to to aa novel novel feeling: feeling: passion. passion. But But above above all all else else -- and and likely likely surprising surprising to to many many -- my my greatest greatest influence influence comes comes from from LHS’ LHS’ debate debate coach, coach, Mr. Mr. Welter. Welter. Anyone Anyone on on the the team team knows knows that that Mr. Mr. Welter Welter and and II hardly hardly got got along, along, per per say. say. My My embarrassing embarrassing and and immature immature behavior, behavior, albeit albeit entertaining entertaining to to many, many, caused caused aa rift rift in in Mr. Mr. Welter’s Welter’s less-than-easy less-than-easy career. career. Through Through the the thick thick cloud cloud of of bickering, bickering, however, however, there there were were instances instances of of Mr. Mr. Welter Welter and and II connecting connecting on on aa more more personal personal level. level. As As aa result result of of these these rare rare hour-long hour-long conversations, conversations, II learned learned how how to to be be introspective, introspective, both both in in aa debate debate setting setting and and out. out. It It seemed seemed as as though though every every time time II walked walked out out of of Mr. Mr. Welter’s Welter’s classroom, classroom, II had had aa significant significant shift shift in in my my personal personal philosophy. philosophy. While While II won’t won’t share share the the specifics specifics of of these these dialogues, dialogues, they they undoubtedly undoubtedly constructed, constructed, destroyed destroyed and and transformed transformed various various aspects aspects of of my my life. life. Among Among those those aspects aspects changed changed was was my my role role in in debate. debate. For For aa handful handful of of compelling compelling reasons, reasons, and and aa good good amount amount of of reflection, reflection, II decided decided that that my my last last two two years years of of high high school school would would have have aa different different focus. focus. While While II continue continue to to believe believe that that this this was was the the right right choice choice for for me, me, II want want to to make make it it clear clear that that those those two two years years were were not not wasted. wasted. Had Had II never never joined joined debate, debate, many many of of the the skills skills II use use in in and and out out of of the the classroom classroom would would be be far far more more substandard. substandard. My My position position in in the the Young Young Progressives Progressives Club Club would would likely likely never never be be realized. realized. The The mentors mentors that that have have

guided guided me me through through these these developmentally developmentally important important years years would would have have never never known known my my name. name. Some Some of of my my closest closest friends, friends, and and girlfriend, girlfriend, would would likely likely have have remained remained strangers. strangers. And And this this story, story, and and all all my my other other ones, ones, would would have have never never been been published. published. This This is is not not unusual, unusual, of of course. course. Anyone Anyone reading reading this this could could probably probably think think of of aa domino-effect domino-effect decision decision they’ve they’ve made made that that has has altered altered their their life, life, for for better better or or worse. worse. But But what what is is less less common common is is finding finding someone someone who who does does not not regret regret their their decision. decision. Whether Whether it it is is aa past past relationship relationship or or an an old old job, job, remembering remembering why why you you joined, joined, why why you you left left and and what what you you learned learned are are all all equally equally important. important. It It is is both both easy easy to to join join something something and and be be reluctant reluctant to to leave leave -when when it it is is the the right right time time -- due due to to positive positive past past experiences, experiences, as as well well as as leave leave when when it it is is the the right right time, time, but but remember remember those those past past experiences experiences in in aa regretful regretful way. way. Too Too often often you you will will see see people people either either in in unhealthy unhealthy relationships relationships with with reluctance reluctance to to leave, leave, or or people people who who leave leave aa healthy healthy relationship, relationship, but but look look back back with with resentment resentment and and bitterness. bitterness. Appreciation Appreciation of of ended ended connections connections is is aa virtue virtue in in wisdom. wisdom. Hence Hence why why II have have no no regret regret when when it it comes comes to to joining joining debate, debate, despite despite the the multitude multitude of of factors factors that that caused caused me me to to quit. quit. Additionally, Additionally, II do do not not regret regret quitting, quitting, and and doubt doubt II ever ever will. will. Like Like everything everything else else in in life, life, it it was was aa decision decision that that fit fit the the period, period, and and when when that that period period ended, ended, the the decision decision went went with with it. it.

Welcome to

the onion ring

DELANEY GRAMLICK

The clothing industry as well as its customers have major negative impacts on the environment and economy. Clothing production has seen an enormous shift to manufacturing overseas in countries with cheap labor; this has led to increased competition between clothing brands and sellers, ultimately resulting in a decrease in clothing prices. Along with these lower prices, though, is lower quality and increased environmental impact. Clothing is being made to satisfy micro-trends, not to last. Micro-trends and the modern fashion industry have decreased the average lifetime of clothing and led to fast fashion and overconsumption. Fast fashion is the mass production of clothing at a low price in order to sell it in stores while demand is at its highest; overconsumption is buying more clothing than necessary in order to keep up with trends, but getting little to no wear out of these clothes before throwing them away. Both of these occurrences pose troubling environmental and economic issues. Because fast fashion has become so predominant, clothing has gotten cheaper, which has made it more customary to throw away clothing items after only a couple of wears. More people engage in overconsumption, which contributes heavily to environmental issues. According to Columbia Climate School, the fashion industry is to blame for 10% of human-caused greenhouse gas emissions and 20% of global wastewater. Dramatic amounts of clothing are being produced very frequently, resulting in large quantities of toxic chemicals being released that pollute water. Micro-trends and fast fashion have decreased the price of clothing, but they have also decreased the quality; worsened quality has left people replacing their clothes more often, so buying clothes more often, meaning clothing is ultimately being produced at an increased rate. Many people own incredible amounts of clothes that they don’t wear, yet continue to shop and participate in these micro trends and fast fashion. According to fashionunited.uk, Americans average 82% of their wardrobe going unworn throughout the year. Rather than continue to consume new clothing, the closets filled with unworn clothes should be turned to and utilized. Instead of focusing time and money on fast fashion and satisfying micro-trends, energy must be put into shopping sustainably; this means goods that are designed, Metal straws are a great alternative to plastic straws which are harmful to produced and distributed in a way that is environmentally friendly. This can be done by purchasing clothes and goods second-hand, finding ways to keep and wear organisms and the environment. the clothes already in possession, investing in trans-seasonal clothing and finding DESIGN BY DELANEY GRAMLICK sustainable brands to shop. PHOTO BY

DELANEY GRAMLICK

The Onion Ring is a rendition of The Onion, which uses satire to entertain audiences on current events. Please do not take offense to these stories, as they are purely for entertainment purposes. The Statesman

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W ar ming up y our At LHS, a wide variety of sports are offered that allow students to express their interests and have fun with their peers. While everyday sports like football, basketball, volleyball and many others are the commonality at LHS, there are some sports that our fellow classmates at LHS compete in that many might not even know about. Here within the walls of LHS, students who fall outside the norm and compete in other unique sports should be recognized the same as any other our classmates participate in. Without 1. “Well, Parkour is a very intense sport so probably ‘Last Friday Night’ by further ado, let us introduce you to the captains of some of these unsung sports offered at LHS. Katy Perry.” 2. “Due to the fact that I grew up watching a lot of Spider-Man, my ability to jump high makes me very good in my teamwork abilities. Don’t ask me why there is a correlation, [there just is].” 3. “I jump forward, backward, left and sometimes right.”

er y impor tant. ving .”

1. “‘Taco Tuesday’ by the Migos, ‘Baby Got Back’ by Sir Mix-a-

Lot and ‘Salt Shaker’ by Ying Yang Twins.” 2. “[My] limp wrists and strong biceps [make me a good captain].” 3. “I do curls on my right side because I flip with my left. You have to balance the tides.”

1. “‘What Christmas Means to Me’ by John Legend.” 2. “I am very competitive and show no mercy. I am

also the best snowball maker.” 3. “Well, our team watches film from the snowball fight scene from the movie ‘Elf.’ Then we go through warm-up exercises to get our shoulders ready.”

1. “‘Get’cha Head in the Game’ from ‘High School Musical.’” 2. “I am not afraid to be the bad guy and cut my classmates

out of the team. [Definitely] not afraid to cut people out.” 3. “I think mainly just getting some practice shots out. I think the E-wing lot has a lot of trash outside [so] we do a little community service along with our practice.”

1. “You know, as a member of the Savannah Bananas, it’s only right to listen to ‘Yellow Submarine’ by The Beatles.” 2. “Well, you know we had some tough times last year, and a number of our teammates got injured from struggling in the 1. “There is nothing quite like the hard tunes of ‘Call Me’ by Blondie. [It] really gets water. It was a tough time, but I led them through it and stayed me going, [and] it really gets me pumped up.” positive, and [in turn] started to win some games. Also, the 2. “I am very demanding and when people hear my voice, it strikes fear in their hearts. shark infestation was something that we had to work through.” So, everyone knows when I talk, I mean business, and when I mean business, I mean ress their interests and have ball and many other s are 3. “I the like to re-tape my stick and go for a light swing to get LHS compete in tha t many might baskets.” side the nor m and compete in loosened up before matches.” ma tes par ticipa te in. Without 3. “Well, you always got to start by stretching. It is very important. Warming up your LHS. spor ts offered a t fingers and your wrists is a go-to before you start weaving.” DESIGN BY MARA TIEDE & LAURA HECKENLAIBLE

PHOTOS BY

MARA TIEDE & LAURA HECKENLAIBLE

Avery NelsoN

FISHER MEYERINK & KATIE JENSEN Does it feel like every day is the same as the last? Do you get into the car after a long day of school and realize that you don’t remember anything that happened? Do you ever get hit with the realization that school won’t just magically disappear and that this is purgatory, a never-ending nightmare, but there’s no demon or monster to come along and wake you up and end your suffering? Well then, we may have the thing for you! Using this nifty bingo card, you can look for and note the oddities that you’ve grown to accept in LHS. Instead of filtering out these ultimately meaningless events, you can chart them and maybe even manage to win a fake challenge that gets you no real emotional, physical or fiscal reward, but then again, what else is there to do? BY

By sending out a survey, these are the students that were identified by their peers as “teacher’s pets.” Whether it be listening overly attentive during class or just being their right hand student, these five students earned the title.

TARA PACLIK & LAINE MANNES

AUBREY WINDISH & SEAN BAKER

SHAWN BERGAN & KIERRA LUBOVICH

MONICA CONOVER & ASHTON WINTER

BRADEN BRADFIELD & TREY SALAVA

desigN by photos by

Avery NelsoN Avery NelsoN

DESIGN BY

FISHER MEYERINK & KATIE JENSEN

THE REAL Hoopers of LHS

TWITTER THOUGHTS

Kate Mccartney, Online editOr-in-chief A social media platform that seems to be lost on many younger generations, the infamous Twitter provides social commentary for almost every aspect of life. Scrolling aimlessly through the app, one is bound to encounter tweets that cover a wide variety of topics, opinions and issues; some serious, some political, some thoughtprovoking and some purely just satirical. by

Lucas Hiatt

Basketball is undoubtedly one of the most popular sports at LHS and for good reason. With the school’s High-Y teams such as Gorillas in the Mist, Swim Team and We Play Soccer, it is hard not to cheer for your school’s most talented student-athletes.

........................................................... Gorillas in the Mist: Gorillas in the Mist is a highly competitive team made up of seven players. The students that make up this undefeated team are Charlie Mickelson, Oscar LockwoodPowell, Marcus Koester, Luke Honner, Jackson Geerts, Luke Glanzer, Mason Tolrud and their coach Jackson Boe. Greatness is not achieved as easily as it seems for the Gorillas. This team puts in the work necessary to keep their perfect record. Many hard hours are put in at the gym as they prepare for each and every matchup. “We go to GreatLife every day after school for three hours and practice the entire time. Other times we go to GreatLife D1 and the varsity basketball team is there, and we just run up against them and beat them easily,” said Mickelson.

The Gorillas in the Mist’s star player, Marcus Koester, running the risk of a technical foul as he goes up for a ferocious dunk.

Swim Team:

The less than impressive Swim Team is made up of mostly cross country athletes. The students that make up this team are their star player Kadin Groen as well as David Bomhoff, Adam Boyens, Ethan Boyens, Oscar Hansen, Jaykob Knutson, Isaiah Kroesche, Justin Ludwig, Blake McDermott, Gus Sargent and Ryan Schock. In addition, they also have two extremely qualified coaches Will Sugrue and Peter Binstock, both of which also run cross country. Contrary to Gorillas in the Mist, they have only attained two victories, but triumphant victories nonetheless. Their first victory was accomplished against a team with only three players and their second win of the season was their last regular-season game in which they won by forfeit. “Last week we just had a win,” said Sugrue. “The team failed to show up, so going into the playoffs that was a really good morale boost for us. We’re just excited to see what happens.” Despite the lack of winning that occurs week-to-week, they are a positive group that is always seeking the excitement and camaraderie that comes with their brotherhood in this sport. Their coach is always encouraging even when they have lost a game. “High-Y is fun. There’s a lot of fun things going on here. Fun players, fun coaches, fun games. Basketball is a fun game. A lot of fun things happen,” said Binstock.

Swim Team and their coaches posing after a forfeit induced victory.

We Play Soccer:

We Play Soccer’s lineup posing after getting a quick win.

We Play Soccer is another dominant team on the court. Their team is made up of four LHS students, a WHS student and a JHS student all of which are soccer athletes. Ryan Brost, Rikhav Thakkar, Simon Woods and James Yousef are all LHS students and the rest of their team includes WHS’s Harrison Dubisar and JHS’s Andrew Hirsh. With their limited hooping experience, they still manage to put on a show with their only real opposing threat being the Gorillas, who is the only team they have lost to. “[We] expect nothing to change [in the playoffs] other than the Gorillas,” said Thakkar. Their only real weakness is their lack of commitment to the craft. The Gorillas have put in the work in the gym outside of game day while We Play Soccer simply has faith that they will come out with the win. “We don’t really prepare,” said Thakkar. “[We’re] very confident in our ability to outplay anybody on any night.”

........................................................... 42

phOtOs prOvided by twitter accOunts design by chlOe hOuwMan

design by pHotos by

Lucas Hiatt caLeb Hiatt, Lucas Hiatt & RikHav tHakkaR

LEIGHTON FELTMAN DESIGN BY

Maybe it comes with the territory of being a “moody teenager,” but being in high school for three years now has made me and many other people I know develop a hypersensitivity to certain things that other high schoolers do way too frequently.

Depending on how stressed you get when taking tests, this pet peeve may not be an issue. However, for the victims of extreme test anxiety, it can be difficult to ignore the incessant tapping of a pencil or the incremental sniffling of a nose. This may not seem like that big of a deal, but when it is happening at a consistent pace almost as if it is timed to happen every couple of seconds, it is hard to tune out. I understand that some people do these things without even realizing it, but that just means that they need to become a little more self aware. Some people may be thinking, but what if you are sick and have the urge to cough frequently? All I can say is that is very unfortunate. I am not going to tell you that you have to go the whole class period with the deep rumbling in your chest that comes from holding in a cough, but I am going to suggest that you space your coughs out evenly. I would recommend a maximum of four coughs per class period, with optimum time in between each. That way the frequency of your coughing is not noticeable, and you don’t have to sit in eye-watering discomfort.

2 Kentucky

15 St. Peter’sPeacocks

2 KentuckyWildcats

2 Kentucky

7 Murray ST 10 San Fran- Gators

7 Murray St.Duker the Racer

3 Purdue 14 Yale- Handsome Dan (Bulldog)

3 Purdue- Purdue Pete (Boilmaker)

11 Virgina TechHokieBird

6 Texas- Bevo the Longhorn

6 Texas

4 UCLA 13 Akron- Zippy the Kangaroo

4 UCLA- Brown Bears

CLARE HEUPEL

This pet peeve is probably the most annoying because it’s the one I face the most. I understand that passing periods are one of the few times in the day that students can chat freely with their friends without being scolded, but too many people act as if they do not have a class that they should be going to. I simply cannot comprehend why someone would stop in the middle of a crowded hallway to have a group conversation. It is one thing to form a wall with your friends in order to continue your conversation– which people do way too often– but it is another thing to completely disregard the people behind you by stopping the flow of traffic. It is especially irritating for those students who are rushing as quickly as possible from one class to the next because they want to have as much time as possible to work on a test. Speaking from experience, if I am not already rattled enough from the prospect of needing those few minutes of passing period time for a test, the necessity of weaving through the crowds in the hallway does nothing to help with the stress.

6 Texas

1 Baylor Bears

4 UCLA 5 St Mary’s 12 IndianaHoosiers

5 St Mary’s- Rattler Man (snake)

8 UNC

9 MarquetteGolden Eagle

8 UNCRames the Ram

DESGIN BY LEIGHTON FELTMAN

March Madness has been the tried and true tradition of millions of basketball fans around the world. The only reason I ever watched March Madness was to get out of paying attention in class, but this year, for my senior year, I figured I might as well create a bracket for the tournament. I normally just pay attention to football but since my college does not have a football team, I might as well start my basketball experience early. I know nothing about basketball, especially college basketball, so I figured my best bet for creating a bracket would be to choose which mascot would win, and if it was a close call, I would just choose which location I thought would be better for college and If I didn’t know the team I just disqualified them in the first round. My winning team for the eastern division is the Baylor Bears, and honestly it was a pretty easy battle. All of the other eastern teams are just people, dogs, cats and birds with the exception of the Texas Longhorns and the UCLA Brown Bears. Baylor had a pretty simple competition against the Norfolk State Spartans and the UNC Rams; however, once we got to the UCLA Brown Bears it was a bit more of a challenge. I did some google searching and vacation planning. I came to the conclusion that Baylor’s hometown of Waco, Texas is much cooler and calmer than UCLA’s hometown of LA. Do not get me wrong, Los Angeles is a great place to visit, but it’s definitely too chaotic for college life. That is why I had the Baylor Bears winning the 2022 March Madness Eastern Division.

LEIGHTON FELTMAN BY

1 Baylor 1 Baylor 1 Baylor 16 Norfolk St.Spartans

1 Baylor- Bears

This last pet peeve goes both ways for people in this situation. I’m sure everyone can recall that desire of wanting to get out of the school parking lot as fast as possible at the end of the day. Facing the terrible drivers that are teenagers is already bad enough, but not being able to get into the line of cars that is leaving the parking lot might just be the tipping point of a mental breakdown at the end of a stressful day. Totally not speaking from experience and just from what I’m told, but it is very difficult to get out of the parking lot while also trying to hide the fact that there are tears running down your face. On the other hand, I also know what it is like to have a straight path to the exit of the parking lot but then also having to think about how other people are going to try to go into the path before you. Both sides of the situation are similar in the fact that the drivers are just trying to get out as fast as possible. Considering this, if everyone pays attention to the car in front of them and is always moving as efficiently as possible, it would be for the betterment of everyone if people followed the “every other” rule. This is letting one person into the line in front of you, and then proceeding to drive forward. If this were a common courtesy, everyone would have a better time getting out of the parking lot. Don’t be that one person that never lets anyone in line because trust me, people remember. DESIGN BY

CLARE HEUPEL SANDVALL

ARTWORK BY JADA

The Statesman BY BYAA NNA NNAAA NDERSON NDERSON&&EE MMA MMASS OUTHWICK OUTHWICK

Many Manyrumors rumorsand and conspiracies conspiraciesregarding regarding LHS LHShave havecome comeand andgone gone throughout throughoutthe theyears: years: the thesupposed supposedpool poolininthe the basement, basement,the thehaunted haunted auditorium auditoriumwith withghosts ghosts having havingbeen beenseen seenononstage stage and andinstances instancesofofparanormal paranormal activity. activity.However, However,ininrecent recent years, years,a anew newspeculation speculation among amongstudents studentsand andstaff staff has hasarisen. arisen.Many Manyare arestarting starting totoquestion questionthe theinfamous infamous Adam AdamMorrison Morrisonabout abouthis his suspicious suspicioustendencies tendenciesthat that lead leadthem themtotobelieve believethat that the theLHS LHShistory historyteacher teacher isisnothing nothingother otherthan thananan Area Area5151secret secretagent. agent.AsAs well-known, well-known,world-famous world-famous journalists, journalists,we weset setout outtoto get gettotothe thebottom bottomofofthis this theory theoryand andfind findout outwhether whether orornot notthe thestudent studentand andstaff staff speculations speculationshold holdtrue. true. AtAtthe thebeginning beginningofofthis this semester, semester,new newstudents students began begantotonotice noticeananodd odd item itemsitting sittingatatthe thetop topofof Morrison’s Morrison’scabinets: cabinets:a a squash. squash.When Whenquestioned questioned about aboutwhy whyononEarth Earthhehe would wouldhave havea aliteral literalgourd gourd just justsitting sittingininhis hisclassroom, classroom, the thehistory historyteacher teachertried tried playing playingititoffoffbybysaying sayingitit was wasa a“gift” “gift”from fromone oneofofhis his students. students.Maybe Maybehehereally really did didreceive receivethis thisvegetable vegetableasas a apresent presentfrom fromone oneofofhis his students, students,but butititseems seemslike like a apretty prettyodd oddthing thingtotogive give

someone, someone,but butthat thatisisbesides besides the thepoint. point.What Whatmakes makes this thisespecially especiallysuspicious suspiciousisis the thefact factthat thatthis this“squash” “squash” has hasbeen beenininhis hisclassroom classroom since sinceOCTOBER. OCTOBER.This Thisleft left ususquestioning: questioning:how howisisitit possible possiblethat thatthis thisvegetable vegetable hasn’t hasn’teven evenbegun beguntotorot? rot? Well, Well,maybe maybeit’s it’sbecause becauseitit isisnot notactually actuallya asquash squashbut but rather rathera arecording recordingdevice device that thatdelivers deliverstranslations translations ofofthe theEnglish Englishlanguage language directly directlytotothe theunderground underground aliens aliensininArea Area51! 51!You Youheard heard that thatright. right.Upon Uponfurther further inspection inspectionofofthis thissuspicious suspicious item, item,we wediscovered discoveredthat thatitit has hasrecording recordingcapabilities. capabilities. When Whenconfronted confrontedabout aboutthis this robotic roboticvegetable, vegetable,Morrison Morrison stated statedthat thathehewas was“going “going tototake takeitithome homeand andeat eat it”it”but butthen then“forgot “forgotabout about it”it”and anddecided decidedtoto“use “useitit asasa aclassroom classroomdecoration decoration instead.” instead.”Seems Seemssus, sus,right? right? While Whilethe thediscovery discoveryofof the thesupposed supposed“squash” “squash”isisjust just straight-up straight-upweird, weird,this thisone one discovery discoverywas wasnot notenough enough totoprove provehis hisconnection connectiontoto Area Area51. 51.We Wediscussed discussedwith with Morrison Morrisonour ourintentions intentions ofofinterviewing interviewinghim himfor for multiple multipledays, days,which whichhehe agreed agreedeach eachtime timethat thatititwas was brought broughtup; up;heheclearly clearlydid did not notthink thinkmuch muchofofit.it.After After gathering gatheringour ourcourage courageand and various variousbodyguards, bodyguards,we wemade made the thetreacherous treacherousjourney journeytoto

DESIGN DESIGN BYBY ANNA ANNA ANDERSON ANDERSON && EMMA EMMA SOUTHWICK SOUTHWICK PHOTOS PHOTOS BYBY ANNA ANNA ANDERSON ANDERSON && EMMA EMMA SOUTHWICK SOUTHWICK

Morrison Morrisonattempts attemptstotocover coverhishisface facewhen whenquestioned questionedbybyjournalists journalists about abouthishisconnections connectionstotoArea Area51. 51.

the theE-wing. E-wing.When Whenwe we finally finallymustered musteredenough enough guts gutstotoenter enterthe theroom, room,we we were weremet metwith withananempty empty classroom: classroom:nonoMorrison Morrisoninin sight. sight.Well, Well,not notcompletely completely empty. empty.The Theroom roomwas was trashed trashedwith withthe thelong longlost lost papers papersofofold oldstudents, students, sending sendinga amessage messagethat that Morrison Morrisonobviously obviously

couldn’t couldn’tcare careless lessabout about grading gradingand andrewarding rewardingthe the work workofofhis hishardworking hardworking students, students,but butinstead insteadabout about sending sendingsecret secretmessages messages directly directlytotohis hisalien alien comrades. comrades.While Whileone oneofofusus guarded guardedthe thedoor, door,the theother other began begantotoscavenge scavengethrough through the thepapers, papers,scanning scanningfor for any anysign signofofalien alienaffiliation. affiliation.

Met Metwith withgreat greatsurprise, surprise,we we found foundnot notonly onlynumerous numerous papers papersdisplaying displayinghis hisloyalty loyalty totothe theoligarchy, oligarchy,but buta a Viewboard Viewboarddisplayed displayedwith with secret secretroutes routestotoArea Area5151asas well wellasasa aGoogle Googledocument document ofofthe thealien alienalphabet, alphabet,under under which whichwere werebold boldred redwords words stating stating‘STUDY.’ ‘STUDY.’Right Rightonon cue, cue,Morrison Morrisonburst burstinto intothe the room, room,apologizing apologizingprofusely profusely for forhis hislate latearrival. arrival.Not Not showing showingany anysign signofofour our most mostrecent recentdiscoveries, discoveries,we we started startedtotoquestion questionMorrison, Morrison, ininhopes hopesfor forany anymore morecrucial crucial information. information.However, However,itit became becameapparent apparentvery veryquickly quickly that thatMorrison Morrisonwas wasnot notasas confident confidentasasheheseemed seemedhehe would wouldbebewhen whenheheagreed agreed totothe theinterview; interview;hehesimply simply trembled trembledwith witheyes eyeswide, wide, refusing refusingtotoanswer answereven evenour our simplest simplestquestions. questions.He Heknew knew we wewere wereonontotohim. him.Before Beforewe we knew knewit,it,hehehad haddarted dartedout outofof the theclassroom, classroom,sprinting sprintinghis his way wayout outofofthe theschool schoolasasfast fast asashehepossibly possiblycould. could. Upon Uponhearing hearingeverything everything that thathad hadoccurred, occurred,Morrison’s Morrison’s across-the-hall across-the-hallbuddy, buddy,Ken Ken Doyle, Doyle,entered enteredthe theclassroom classroom with witha aconfused confusedlook lookononhis his face. face.Since Sinceour ouropportunity opportunitytoto interview interviewMorrison Morrisonhimself himself andgone, gone, had hadclearly clearlycome comeand we wedecided decidedtotoask askDoyle Doylea a few fewquestions questionsregarding regarding Morrison’s Morrison’sspy-like spy-liketendencies tendencies instead. instead.When Whenasked askedif ifhehe had hadany anysuspicions suspicionsononhis his acquaintance’s acquaintance’sinvolvement involvementinin Area Area51, 51,heheletletout outananaudible audible sigh sighofofrelief, relief,almost almostasasif if hehehad hadbeen beenwaiting waitingfor forthis this day daytotocome comehis hisentire entirelife life and andbegan begantototell tellususabout abouthis his experience experiencewith withMorrison’s Morrison’s abnormal abnormalbehavior. behavior. “I“Iwasn’t wasn’tgoing goingtotosay say anything anythingabout aboutit,it,but butI’ve I’ve been beenthinking thinkingthis thissame samething thing for foryears,” years,”said saidDoyle. Doyle.“When “When hehefirst firstgot gothired hiredasasa ateacher teacher

here hereatatLHS, LHS,I Ithought thoughtitit would wouldbebenice nicefor forme metotoget get totoknow knowhim himsince sincewe wehad hadour our classrooms classroomsright rightnext nexttotoeach each other. other.So, So,I Ioffered offeredtotohelp help him himget gethis hisclassroom classroomset setupup for forthe theincoming incomingschool schoolyear, year, and andhehegratefully gratefullyaccepted acceptedmy my help. help.On Onthe theday daywe wemet metupuptoto get gethis hisclassroom classroomorganized, organized, heheasked askedme meif ifI Icared caredif ifwe we played playedsome somemusic musicwhile whilewe we set seteverything everythingup. up.OfOfcourse, course, I Ididn’t didn’tmind, mind,sosoI Isaid saidyes. yes. Then, Then,without withoutskipping skippinga abeat, beat, Morrison Morrisoncheerfully cheerfullyskipped skipped totohis hiscomputer computerand andstarted started playing playing‘Real ‘RealAlien AlienSounds Soundsten ten hour hourversion’ version’ononYouTube. YouTube.I I letletout outa aslight slightchuckle chucklewhen when ititcame cameon, on,I Ithought thoughthehewas was just justmessing messingaround. around.But But when whenI Ilooked lookedup, up,I Iwas wasmet met with withMorrison’s Morrison’sstraight straightface face and andglaring glaringeyes. eyes.I Icould couldhave have sworn swornfor fora asplit splitsecond secondthat that his hiseyes eyesturned turnedneon neongreen, green, Thealien alienalphabet alphabetdisplayed displayedononMorrison’s Morrison’scomputer. computer. almost almostasasif ifhehewas wasbeginning beginning The totomorph morphinto intoananalien alienhimself. himself. From Fromthat thatday dayforward, forward,I I never nevertold tolda asoul soulabout aboutwhat what had hadoccurred. occurred.I Ifigured figuredpeople people would wouldhave havethought thoughtI Iwas was crazy, crazy,but butI Iguess guessI’m I’mnot notthe the only onlyone onewho whohas hascaught caughtonon totohis hissuspicious suspiciousinclination inclination anymore.” anymore.” Although Althoughititisispractically practically impossible impossibletotofind findout outif ifour our theories theoriesare aretruly trulya areality, reality,the the proof proofwe wehave havecollected collectedfrom from his hisclassroom classroomsurely surelypointed pointed ininthe thedirection directionofofvalidating validating our oursuspicions. suspicions.However, However, upon uponlearning learningthat thatnot notonly only someone someoneelse elsehad hadtheir theirown own suspicions suspicionsand andstories storiesabout about Morrison, Morrison,letletalone alonehis hisown own co-worker co-workerand andacross-theacross-thehall hallbuddy, buddy,our ourconspiracies conspiracies became becameeven evenmore moreconvincing. convincing. Despite Despitethe thefact factthat thatwe wecould could not notget getMorrison Morrisontotoadmit admit totoanything, anything,we westill stilluphold uphold our ourbelief beliefthat thatLHS’s LHS’sown own Morrison Morrisonisisa aspy, spy,sent sentdirectly directly The Thesecret secretrecording recordingsquash squashfound foundininMorrison’s Morrison’sclassroom. classroom. from fromArea Area51. 51.

47 47