January 2019 Issue by LHS Statesman

Statesman

SHOUT OUT VISION pg. 12

J ANUARY 2019 V OL . 53, N O . 4

TABLE

OF CONTENTS ENTERTAINMENT

ON THE COVER Art by Elaine Taggatz,“Shout”

12-13 PERFECT IMPERFECTIONS

4-5 18 THINGS THAT HAPPENED IN 2018 6-7 8-9

PERSPECTIVES

MAKE THE MATCH

DAY TO DAY: THE LINCOLN WAY

28-29

14-15 6 BOOKS TO READ BEFORE YOU

30-31

WELCOME TO PERSPECTIVES

32-33

THE POPULARITY PROBLEM

FEATURE

HEALTHY SCHOOL LUNCHES: IS IT A LOST CAUSE?

GRADUATE

18-19

VINCE // “BIG BABY”

20-21

COMING SOON TO 2019

SPORTS

22-23

WE’RE GONNA POP SOME TAGS

WINTER WINS, NO CAP

25 CRAZIE OF THE MONTH

IN EVERY ISSUE

26-27 17

STATESBUDS

34-35 THE PALINDROME

THERE IS NO SUBSTITUTE FOR MR. MUNCE

39-41

ENGAGE

THE BEARER OF GREAT NEWS

36-37 REDEFINED

S t a t e s m a n The Statesman’s purpose is to inform and entertain with an honest and accurate approach. The opinions of students, staﬀ members and faculty are expressed in a tasteful manner. The Statesman is a member of the National Scholastic Press Association, the Columbia Scholastic Press Association and is a winner of the George H. Gallup award for “…distinctive achievements in scholastic journalism.” The Statesman was awarded a Pacemaker in 2007 and was nominated for the 2012-2013 year. The editors and adviser take responsibility for the content of the Statesman. Editors- in-Chief: Gage Gramlick and Hannah Hansen

OP/ED Editor: Katie Osmundson

Photographers: Riley Rasmussen and Jaida Sorensen

Feature Editor: Taylor Ericson

Meet the Varsity: Chloe Crissman and Somer Luitjens

Sports Editor: Somer Luitjens

Design Editor: Taylor Ericson

Entertainment Editor: Timothy Stolp

Staﬀ Writers: Aaron Condron, Georgia Conlin, Kate Fehrs, Chloe Harbaugh, Parker Hibbard, Vince Hofer, Morgan McDonnel, Margaret Meierhenry, Brooke O’Connor, Easton Plourde, Brita Quello, Maryam Rauuf, Chloe Robinson, Nicole Schmitz, Emily Shank, Kathryn Sweeter, Nyah Thaemert, Carly Wheeler Business Manager: Cameron Rhode Adviser: Katie Kroeze

STATESMAN 3

The international winter multi-sport event was held between Feb. 9 and 25 in Pyeongchang County, Gangwon Province, South Korea. The U.S. earned nine gold medals, the third highest amount awarded to a single country. In September, Hurricane Florence hit the United States East Coast, killing 53 people.

Aretha Franklin, American singer, songwriter and musician had a net worth of $80 million at the time of her death. She died at 76-years-old on Aug. 16.

On Apr. 23, Prince Louis was born at St. Mary’s Hospital in London at 11 a.m. local time, weighing 8 pounds, 7 ounces.

The Philadelphia Eagles won the NFL Championship on Feb. 4 against the New England Patriots, 41-33.

The 2018 wildfire season was the most destructive and deadliest season of wildfires recorded in California history yet, taking the lives of 104 people, with more still missing. 4 STATESMAN

At the end of 2018, the federal government shut down due to the dispute over the border wall.

March for Our Lives took place on March 24 in Washington D.C. This protest and others similar were conducted in response to the Parkland, Florida school shooting that killed 17 people on Valentine’s Day. The main goal of these marches was to bring awareness to and rally against gun violence.

The midterm elections took place on Nov. 6. Republicans conserved power in the Senate while Democrats gained control of the House of Representatives.

The World Cup was held in Russia from June 14 to July 15. The games Prince Harry and Meghan Markle tied concluded with the France national the knot on May 19 at football team as the victor, who defeated Croatia with a score of 4-2. St. George’s Chapel, located in Windsor, United Kingdom.

8 1 0 2 n i d e n e p t hap

a h t s g thin

On June 12, Donald Trump and Kim Jong-un became the first sitting president from the U.S. and leader from North Korea to meet. After the encounter the leaders signed a comprehensive document that promised a new relationship between the two nations.

Drake released “God’s Plan” on Jan. 19, breaking Apple’s first-day streaming record with 14 million streams, Spotify’s single-day streaming record with 4.3 million plays in the first 24 hours. It was streamed 82.4 million times in its The faux fur coats first week. became very popular

with teenage girls, used as winter coats and fashionable jackets.

N QUELLO & BY BRITA

Scoring a 24th nonconsecutive week at the top spot, “The Greatest Showman” album claimed the most weeks at No.1 for an album this century.

Apple Inc. released their most expensive phone yet on Sept. 12 for $999. This was the first iPhone with facial recognition.

MITZ

ICOLE SCH

Rapper, singer and record producer Mac Miller died on Sept 7. His songs “Best Day Ever,” “Programs” and “2009” peaked at 22, 23 and 24 on the R&B/Hip Hop Chart this year.

Vladimir Putin was sworn in for his fourth term, as Russian President, in Kremlin ceremony on May 7. STATESMAN 5

PHOTOS PROVIDED BY CREATIVE COMMONS

Many seniors, including Sam Dobbs, take classes that make their schedule quite easy for their last year of high school. Once Dobbs met the total requirements for graduation, he planned out the easiest schedule he could. Dobbs would describe his schedule as “light work,” with his hardest class being Lifetime Wellness and Yoga.

1ST CREATIVE WRITING

Junior year is considered the hardest year for students. This is the year when the ACT/SAT is taken and when everyone tries to boost their GPA before applying to colleges. Junior Mitch Eichacker describes his schedule as “strenuous,” with his most challenging class being AP Biology.

LIFETIME WELLNESS & YOGA 2ND

1ST ACC. PRECALCULUS

3RD PEER TUTORING

5TH

4TH

SAM DOBBS, 12

5TH

STUDENT MENTOR

ONLINE CLASS 6TH 7TH

OPEN LUNCH

2ND AP LANGUAGE & COMPOSITION 4TH LATIN III

AP BIOLOGY 6TH 7TH

STRENGTH TRAINING

MITCH EICHACKER, 11

OPEN LUNCH

3RD

MODERN US HISTORY

PERSONAL FINANCE

THE LINCOLN WAY Sophomore year: the year that is uncomplicated and eﬀortless. Chloe Brown would describe her schedule as quite “simple,” with her most diﬃcult class being English II.

1ST JOURNALISM 3RD LUNCH 5TH GEOMETRY 7TH

Freshman year is full of firsts, which is exciting to say the least. Kaia Jensen describes her schedule as being “fun,” except for when it is spent in Spanish I.

1ST

MODERN US HISTORY 2ND

WORLD GEO

PSYCHOLOGY

3RD

4TH

LUNCH

ENGLISH II 6TH

5TH EXPLORING VISUAL ARTS 7TH

PHYSICS

ENGLISH I 2ND SPANISH I 4TH ALGEBRA I 6TH BIOLOGY

KAIA JENSEN, 9

BY KATE FEHRS

CHLOE BROWN, 10

DAY TO DAY:

PHOTOS BY RILEY RASMUSSEN

ake the atch

Teachers around LHS are known for having certain objects in their classrooms. How well do you know your teachers? Try to match the object with the teacher it belongs to.

BY KATHRYN SWEETER & NYAH THAEMERT

“I started collecting them when I was quite young. When I started teaching, I had one that was given to me by my mother that represented teaching, and I kept it on my desk. As my students would travel to places, they would start bringing me back water globes from the places they went to.”

7 2

Lynn Thomason

Katie Kroeze

Chris Ernster

Eric Rice

Monica Conover

James Jarovski

Shawn Bogart

Glenn Tolle

Steve Ortmeier

“It’s my friend. I’ve had the same tennis ball for five years.”

“It was given to me by my sister as a Christmas gift, and I thought it would be fun to put in my classroom. Some kids are really frightened by it, and some think it is really funny.”

Shawn Bogart

Eric Rice

James Jarovski

Lynn Thomason

Eric Rice

Katie Kroeze

Glenn Tolle

Lynn Thomason

Travis Aukerman

“Everybody speaks guitar. Music is the universal language.”

“Nevermore. Nevermore.”

Travis Aukerman

Monica Conover

“One of my previous students bought a bunch of sombreros for a celebration in one of her classes. She gave all of them to me, and I kept them. I like them because they’re Mexican.”

“Go Pack, go.”

“I have a connective tissue disorder, so I am missing the appropriate arch in my foot. Converse are a flat shoe so I keep them in here because they are teaching shoes. I wear diﬀerent shoes to school and change into them when I get here.”

Chris Ernster

“It is hands-on learning. It is a fun way to look at what we are learning about.”

“I like the power of Thor. I think he gives oﬀ really good vibes and energy.”

Chris Ernster

Steve Ortmeier

Katie Kroeze

James Jarovski

Glenn Tolle

Shawn Bogart PHOTOS BY KATHRYN SWEETER, NYAH THAEMERT & MARGARET MEIERHENRY

Answer Key : 6. Shawn Bogart 7. Eric Rice 8. Katie Kroeze 9. Chris Ernster 10. Steve Ortmeier

8 STATESMAN

Travis Aukerman

1. Lynn Thomason 2. Glenn Tolle 3. Monica Conover 4. Travis Aukerman 5. James Jarovski

Monica Conover

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WINTER SPORTS PREVIEW

WINTER WINS, NO CAP BOYS

Art by Maryam Rauuf

GIRLS BASKETBALL

Your fellow Patriots and their eir teams are looking to rack up some wins this season. From the lifting room to the hardwood, we have some insight on how the teams are doing so far and their expectations for the rest of the season. Get out and go support the Patriots, and cheer them on to victory.

BASKETBALL “So far the season has been going great,” said senior Grant Russell. “We are undefeated and we hope to keep it that way. By the end of the season we want to win State, and we have a great chance this year.”

“We have had kind of a choppy start but we are looking to improve and win a couple more games,” said junior Emma Osmundson. “We have a lot of injuries right now and so were kinda just going with what we got. By the end of the season, we want to improve on working as a team and working together.”

WRESTLING

GYMNASTICS

POWERLIFTING

“It’s going pretty good, getting some wins,” said senior Jacob Murphy. “Our expectation is to qualify for the state tournament. It’s a pretty big deal for us especially with a young team.”

“It’s going good so far,” said senior Kuna Mohamed. “We’re doing pretty well in competitions so far, we expect to get first in metro.”

“I wasn’t at the first meet, so I don’t know for sure, but the expectation is to win State,” said junior Finnegan Raney.

by Parker Hibbard & Easton Plourde

ART BY ELAINE TAGGATZ

Perfect imperfection

12 STATESMAN

BY TAYLOR ERICSON Art: a noun meaning to express or apply human creative skill and application, typically in a visual form. For the majority of students at LHS, creating visual art is not something that is pursued as a hobby because of the immense talent that it requires, but rather a task that students complete solely during their required art class. LHS Senior Elaine Taggatz is certainly a minority in this situation. Not only does Taggatz create art in her free time, but she has completed five art classes at LHS, and is currently enrolled in AP studio art. Taggatz has been creating art for as long as she can remember, but has come to the realization that art is not something that has to be perfect, which has increased her engagement tremendously. “I suppose I’ve always been making art,” said Taggatz. “When I was younger I really felt like everything had to be perfect, so I spent less time on art because I didn’t want to make mistakes, but now I’ve come to a point where I’m far more open to experimentation, and I’m

creating a lot more.” Creating an amazing piece of art takes great focus and patience, two skills that Taggatz has mastered. “My favorite thing [about art] is just getting into the zone while painting,” said Taggatz. “I love getting better and the actual feeling of creating something is really rewarding.” After creating so many pieces of artwork, Taggatz has come to favor the projects that she is very invested in, along with the pieces that she adds an extra experimental touch to. “My favorite projects are the ones where I just sit down and work on until I’m done and that usually takes a day or two,” said Taggatz. “I really like to set out and finish things. I’ve started experiencing with combining tactile art with various photoshop eﬀects and those details usually happen later.” Taggatz intends to expand her interest in art beyond high school and is planning on attending art school for animation or illustration. Considering her tremendous talent that is showcased to the left, she will be sure to succeed.

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For more art by Elaine, follow her instagram @art.lainerly

6ooks

B ad to re re befo uate d a r g you

“The Outsiders” explores the tensions between different social classes that can exist in society. It touches on love, loyalty and loss. It shows the journey of self-discovery and how growing up can change one’s view of the world.

“HARRY POTTER SERIES” BY J .K. ROWLING

I mean this one is fairly self-explanatory. It is one of the most famous (scratch that: it IS the most famous) series of all time. I recommend reading Harry Potter even if you are not a fantasy fan. Harry Potter is about identity and the pressures of trying to live up to other people’s standards. It is about courage, love, friendship and the ability to fight for what you love.

“BEAR TOWN” BY FREDRIK BACKMAN

I will be honest, this one was a little hard to get into; but once the plot picked up, I couldn’t put it down. It is a brutally honest outlook on society’s ability to perpetuate rape culture. It also explores the dangers of suppressed feelings and how secrets can affect an entire community.

“NIGHT” BY ELLIE WIESEL

I know that this book is a required reading in many English classes. However, if you didn’t really pay attention or if you didn’t actually read it (spark notes, maybe), you definitely should pick it up again. “Night” is a first-hand recount of Elie Wiesel’s time in concentration camps during the Holocaust. It is heartbreaking, moving and a necessary piece of literature.

01 by Lily Hiatt According to Iris Reading, the average person reads about four books a year. This means by the end of high school, reading these six books should be a reasonable goal. Also, reading has been proven to be a stress reducer. According to a study by Sussex University, reading can reduce your stress up to 68 percent. So, curl up in a blanket, make a cup of hot cocoa and read these books that critics and many high schoolers adore.

“THE OUTSIDERS” BY S.E. HINTON

“PAPER TOWNS” BY JOHN GREEN

“Paper Towns” is not only entertaining, it holds a powerful underlying message. It explains how our perceptions of people are not always accurate. It shows that people can end up disappointing you, so you have to be there for yourself instead of relying on a made-up perception that you have of someone else.

05 02 06

“THE HATE U GIVE” BY ANGIE THOMAS

“The Hate U Give” is a narrative about racial tensions present in the United States today. It specifically touches on conflicts between African Americans and police officers. Though, it is also about the process of finding yourself when everyone else is trying to tell you who to be. PHOTOS PROVIDED BY CREATIVE COIMMONS

tatesbuds: Chislic Edition

BY GEORGIA CONLIN AND MARYAM RAUUF

When it comes to the Midwest, food plays a vital role in identity. At the heart of the Midwest, we find the official dish of South Dakota: chislic. This salted-to-perfection meal has been around for over a century. With the endless places that serve chislic all around Sioux Falls, the Statesbuds crew went on a mission to two different beloved eateries to finally put to rest which restaurant has mastered this timeless dish.

Urban Chislic: $13

Before we even set foot in this new, hot restaurant, the bar was set high. Just from the name, we had big expectations. As we browsed through the menu, we found it to be quite easy to understand, especially with the help of our spunky waitress, Amanda Conklin. Along with the friendly waiters, the comfortable atmosphere and delicious aroma at Urban Chislic were a hit. Our chislic was flavored with a garlic and onion seasoning, a true classic, paired with the iconic Kung Pao sauce. To say we had a delightful, enriching experience is to say the least. We recommend gathering up a close group of friends on a nice Friday night and enjoying some tasty, authentic chislic. PHOTOS BY GEORGIA CONLIN

Stubbies: $9.50

Stubbiesâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; service was subpar at best and their chislic was even worse. When comparing Stubbies to Urban Chislic, Stubbies proves to be inferior in almost every aspect. The floors were sticky and the ice cubes tasted stale. Although it was cheaper than Urban Chislic, the chislic itself was very hard to chew and had a rather odd consistency with little to no flavor. Nevertheless, the ranch was to die for, and the fries were crispy and flavorful. The chislic, however, was tough and left a strange aftertaste in your mouth.

STATESMAN 17

by Vince Hofer

Hey there, I am the little boy who drew this here comic on the next page over. The inspiration was drawn (no pun intended) from my own life experiences with my older brother. My big bro would push me around and mess with me everyday. He would punch my face, pull my hair, make me eat gross stuff, etc. You name it, my brother has most likely done it to me. My bro messed with me all throughout my childhood and I used to think that it came from a place of hate and disappointment, but now that I have matured and we have a mutual respect for one another, I realize that it was always from a place endearment. The moral of this story is if your siblings pick on you, it is not because they hate you, it is because they love youâ&#x20AC;Ś unless you are an insufferable little butt muncher. In that case, they probably do hate you and you probably deserve it.

18 STATESMAN

STATESMAN 19

C O M I N G S O O N T O 2 0 1 9

B Y C A R L Y W H E E L E R A N D C H L O E H A R B A U G H

“ISN’T IT ROMANTIC” This rom-com, with the always-hilarious Rebel Wilson as the leading lady, is sure to entertain. One night during a mugging incident on a New York subway, Wilson’s character, Natalie, hits her head and later wakes up in her worst nightmare: a real life rom-com. Will Natalie find love in this fantasy world? Or will she escape back to her single, New York lifestyle? Bring your valentine and find out, when “Isn’t it Romantic” hits theaters this Valentine’s Day.

BY TIMOTHY STOLP AND BROOKE O’CONNOR “THE SECRET LIFE OF PETS 2” From Universal Pictures and Illumination Entertainment comes the new movie “The Secret Life of Pets 2.” The movie is a sequel to the original “The Secret Life of Pets.” This hilarious film is about what pets do when the owners leave the house. Go watch “The Secret Life of Pets 2” in theaters when it comes out on June 7, 2019.

“HAPPY DEATH DAY 2U” On Feb. 14, 2019, the follow-up to “Happy Death Day” called “Happy Death Day 2U” will finally be available to watch. In this mysterious film, a college student is stuck in a loop. She must die over and over again to help save her friends from a psychotic, masked killer. Will the loop ever end? Grab some popcorn and find out in theaters soon.

“FIVE FEET APART” “Five Feet Apart,” starring Cole Sprouse and Haley Lu Richardson, tells the love story of two teenagers with cystic fibrosis. But, there is a catch: Because of their condition, the two must always stay a safe distance apart to avoid getting each other sick. Audiences will get to follow the ups and downs of the teens’ seemingly impossible love when “Five Feet Apart,” is released in theaters on March 22, 2019. “THE GOLDFINCH” In 2013, Pulitzer Prize-winning novel “The Goldfinch” by Donna Tartt was published. Nearly the second after people got their hands on the book, they were begging for a movie version. Well, the wait is coming to an end. “The Goldfinch” movie adaptation is scheduled to be released on Oct. 11, 2019. The dramatic plot, which follows the life of main character Theodore Decker (Ansel Elgort), combined with the star-studded cast (including Nicole Kidman) is sure to make this film a must-see in 2019. “A DOG’S JOURNEY” “A Dog’s Journey” is a friendly film told from a dog’s perspective that picks up right where the well-known movie “A Dog’s Purpose” left off. The movie is a meaningful story of a dog who finds the meaning of his existence through the lives of the humans he lives with. “A Dog’s Journey” is scheduled to come out May 17, 2019.

ARIANA GRANDE, “THANK U, NEXT” Another star with a fantastic showing in the previous year, Grande is just getting started. With the album “Sweetener” and hit singles from the unexpected upcoming release, including “imagine” and the titular track, “thank u, next,” the pop powerhouse has set the stage for another wild year. The new album, slated for Feb. 21, 2019, has the potential to be the biggest of the year—one of the biggest of the decade, a milestone to cap off the 10s.

THE 1975, “NOTES ON A CONDITIONAL FORM” - MIDSUMMER The British band had an amazing 2018, especially considering the release of their critically-acclaimed “A Brief Inquiry into Online Relationships.” As usual, The 1975 cuts the status quo: They are not stopping there. Sometime midsummer of 2019, listeners can expect “Notes on a Conditional Form.” Don’t mistake it for a sequel; it is just the band’s attempt at a binge-worthy musical experience.

VAMPIRE WEEKEND, “FOTB” It has been six years since the release of “Modern Vampires of the City,” the third LP from Vampire Weekend. The group is no longer fresh out of Ivy League, unused to fame nor versed solely in music—all of which may be evident in this comeback album. This fourth piece, coming out in April, is set to be against the usual script of the band.

MEGHAN TRAINOR, “TREAT MYSELF” Meghan Trainor’s singing career started to grow after she released her first hit “All About That Bass” in 2014. She continues to write about self-confidence and challenging social standards as a woman. 2018 was a big year for Meghan Trainor, as she began her life as a married woman, but she is starting off the new year “Treating Myself ” to a new album.

THE WEEKND, “CHAPTER 6” As many people start a new chapter going into the new year, The Weeknd is also starting the new year releasing his album “Chapter 6.” After announcing to his fans in Toronto the start of this album he tweeted, “some chapters are smaller than others. Not this next one though.”

CHAINSMOKERS, “SICK BOY” The Chainsmokers continue to surprise their fans with their new album which is full of collaborations with Aazar and NGHTMRE. Each month of 2018, the band released one song to keep their fans on the edge of their seat until the release of the 12-song album in December. For The Chainsmokers, the new year is starting off with the beginning of their tour.

PHOTOS PROVIDED BY CREATIVE COMMONS

Thrifting has become quite popular recently. entl If you want to hop on the bandwagon, there are a few tips and tricks you should know first. Savers, Goodwill and 605 Thrift are some of the few thrift stores in Sioux Falls that you can always find at least one thing that’s worth taking home. You can find real vintage and authentic designer items at thrift stores; you have just got to dig a little. Having even just a few vintage-looking items adds a little something unique to your everyday wardrobe. Whether you are looking for brand-named deals at second hand prices or just a unique outfit for any event, thrift stores can be a great avenue to find what you are looking for.

the collared sweater

The striped sweater

This jean jacket was found at Goodwill tucked behind many other Jackets. It looks good with a sweatshirt, a nice T-shirt or pretty much anything. It is easy to pair with other clothing items and serves as a warm jacket.

$2 Found at Savers, this tan, collared sweater was in the men’s section. The sweater is a size medium and it is very versatile. It looks great tucked into jeans or dressed down with a plain pair of yoga pants.

The striped sweater is a perfect lazy day outfit. It is super comfy and oversized and looks great with any pair of plain black yoga pants. The sweater was found at 605 Thrift, next to various other sweaters looking quite similar.

The button-up waffle shirt

$10

The striped button-up shirt

BY MORGAN MCDONNEL & CHLOE ROBSINSON

The jean jacket

We’re gonna pop some tag

This striped button-up shirt was found at Savers in the men’s section. The striped shirt is a staple piece for anyone’s closet. It can be styled in many ways and paired with an accessory, like a black belt, to spice it up.

$2 $2 The button-up waffle shirt is a great piece that can be worn plain or with a jacket over it. It is big and comfy, but also fits and looks good on anyone. It was found at Goodwill with other waffle shirts that looked very similar to it. PHOTOS BY MORGAN MCDONNEL AND CHLOE ROBINSON

CrAziE of the MoNth

BY S

JEN UIT L R E

DAULTON VANDERLOO

PHOTO BY JAIDA SORENSEN

Senior Daulton Vanderloo labels himself as a LHS Crazie and a certified beauty.

LHS

There is no doubt that the LHS basketball team draws a large crowd of Crazies because of their unbelievable record and intense atmosphere this season. No matter how many Crazies come and go throughout the season, the basketball team can always expect to see senior Daulton Vanderloo in the front row, ready to cheer. Becoming an LHS Crazie takes a lot more than just time and dedication, but it also takes an undeniable school spirit. For Vanderloo, school spirit comes naturally because of his growing love for the sport and cheering on the team. He has been to every boys game so far to make sure the LHS basketball team gets the support they deserve. “I think I’m an LHS Crazie because I get to every basketball game an hour early to make sure I always get first row,” said Vanderloo. “I dedicate my whole life to these games. I live for these moments, this is where I peak. The Lincoln

spirit just builds within me.” Although it is always important to get to the games early enough to cheer in the front row of the student section, a pregame ritual is a necessity. Vanderloo makes it a priority to do whatever he can to make sure the team wins, even if that means having a game day schedule. “I always say a quick prayer with a quick Tim Tebow kneel with my friends before every game,” said Vanderloo. Being an LHS Crazie does not just include hoping for the best and showing up. It is important to be as loud as possible to not only get our own team hype, but to let the other team know we are there. Being able to scream and cheer as loud as he can is what adds to the intensity of the gym and helps the basketball team get as hyped as the crowd is. Vanderloo believes LHS cheering is a big help in the team’s success. “My favorite cheer is

‘Let’s get fired up’ because I can yell as loud as I want,” said Vanderloo. “It gives me chills, and it puts some ice in the veins of the players.” Even though going to games and cheering for the LHS basketball team is a great activity for most LHS students to partake in, the intense and exciting experience makes it so much more enjoyable. The team this year has looked really talented with great team chemistry and an undefeated record, which makes them a lot more enjoyable to cheer for. The fast-paced games and crowded gym hypes everyone up, making the experience unforgettable. “I love cheering at basketball games because of the atmosphere of the gym,” said Vanderloo. “It just pumps me up and gets me going. Our basketball team is so good. They’re all my friends and I love to support the team. Even though my basketball career didn’t take oﬀ, I’m glad their careers did. Here at LHS, we are all one big family.”

Vanderloo’s presence in the student section is not only noticeable by the entire crowd of people, but also by the players. Most of the players on the team always appreciate Vanderloo’s extreme dedication and support. “Out of all the fans in the crowd, I always hear Daulton because he’s always yelling my name and he’s the loudest one,” said senior Nolan Ransom. “I can always count on him to hype me up.” Dedication, enthusiasm, spirit and crazy are all words one could use to describe Vanderloo when he enters the room, but none of this would be possible without his confidence in his LHS basketball team. “Swag swag on you,” said Vanderloo when questioned about opposing schools’ basketball teams. No other school contains the outstanding factor that LHS has. “We are going all the way to the championship, and we are going to take home the dub,” said Vanderloo.

There are a lot of inexperienced people that have never snowboarded or skied before. Thankfully, Great Bear has an excellent program for lessons, with a number of instructors that can help individuals, whether they are experienced or total beginners. As an employee, I have witnessed people start on the bunny hill, and by the end of the day they are using the chair lift. Snowbears is a program for ages 6-14 that focuses on fun and safety but also allows kids to improve their skiing and snowboarding skills. For more information, check out greatbearpark.com.

The

BEARER of GREAT

news by Emily Shank

Ski and snowboard boots, snowboards, skis, helmets, poles, cross country boots and skis can be rented at the front desk. You can go to their website for prices and to see if cross country trails are open.

Skiing and snowboarding may not be for everyone. Great Bear also offers 12 tubing lanes. The Kirby Family Tubing Park provides entertainment for all ages over four. On Saturday nights, starting in January, Great Bear puts on lazer tubing. With cosmic lights and music, it is something everyone should check out. 26 STATESMAN

For 56 years, Great Bear Ski Valley has provided great experiences for all ages. Great Bear is known for its 14 downhill skiing and snowboarding trails with a chair lift, magic carpet and a handle tow in the terrain park. With tubing and cross country trails, there is something for everyone at Great Bear.

STATESMAN 27

PHOTOS PROVIDED BY ANTONIO AND KEANU PHUMIPRAPHAT AND JAKE DEGROOT

Wh e

ss? a l c

college(s) did t a y

I attended the vintage Augustana College.

My majors were: Philosophy, Psychology, & Religion with minors in Classical Philology & Ancient Languages.

wh a t did y

like to pursue? d l ou

lea r n in

d y? stu

k/read or are yo u

When I graduated college I was subsequently knighted by the president joining the order of collegiate paladins. [Youtube: Augustana Knighting].

nd to a

a spe

I studied virtue.

p ex

erie

nce whil

LHS?

our fav o r it e

g at n i rk

rent passi o n iffe yo

Marching Band.

e w o

u yo Classical Greek was like chemistry & a wibbly wobbly timey wimey form of algebra having tea at the gates of Troy. After college, I have done studies in Old Icelandic, French, German, Shorthand, & the Djembe. I am still trying to understand English. I am currently studying Mandarin. I want to learn the language of silence.

In the aforetime I was fostered by the dew of Lincoln High.

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do I happened to take Classical Greek my junior year in college and fell in love with linguistics. The year after that, I added Latin & Biblical Hebrew to my studies. I had taken Spanish in high school & then again in college, but it did not resonate with me till I took Greek.

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Every year after college I thought I would be somewhere off with sails-catching of furious wind. I wanted to join the military after college, but that was choked by a pistachio allergy. I twice over tried to get into graduate school, but that came up dry. Next year I might be in China teaching English as a foreign language. Eventually, I would love to be able to teach Philosophy & Linguistics. However so it be that I end up, each day the greater pursuit is learning to be still & to be keen to the whisper in the wind.

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ART BY VINCE HOFER INTERVIEW BY MARGARET MEIERHENRY

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elcome to Perspectives, a new way to share ideas. The Statesman believes “that you can set your own ideas against ideas you dislike. That you should be free to argue, explain, clarify, debate, offend, insult, rage, … sing, dramatize and deny.” The goal of Perspectives is to start and add to conversations through persuasion, thought provoking ideas, research or some combination thereof. Each Perspective is written by a Statesman staff writer, and does not necessarily reflect the views of the staff in its entirety. We write because ideas “are invisible, and they linger, and, sometimes, they are even true.”

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Our Credo, inspired by Neil Gaiman

Dear readers, It is with a heavy heart that I must inform you of a silent killer lurking the halls of LHS and high schools around the world, a disease fatal to egos and selfimage: popularity. Popularity is an issue that has been inundating not only teenagers, but adults as well. It matters how many PTA moms buy your cookies at the school bake sale. It matters how vast your social circle is. It matters how many followers you have on Instagram. Clearly, I’m being sarcastic, because think about how silly it would be to count your self-worth by the amount of people who mindlessly nod and smile 32 PERSPECTIVES

at you while you chat about the “wild party” you attended the weekend before. Yet, here we are in 2019 doing just that. Am I being a hypocrite for writing this article? After all, I was on Homecoming Court, so doesn’t that technically make me popular too? But take a look at this year’s Homecoming Court and you’ll find kids in choir, band and sports; kids in NHS and Student Council and Oral Interp; kids who don’t fit the mold of stereotypical popularity. You may be rolling your eyes and thinking that this topic is overdone, and I must just be bitter so I’m lashing out, right? But really it’s just time someone wrote some brutally honest commentary about

the behind the scenes of popularity and how dangerous it truly is. The biggest danger comes because there isn’t really a set definition of what popularity looks like. Webster’s Dictionary says popularity is, “the state or condition of being liked, admired or supported by many people,” which is kind of a vague definition. Popularity is a social construct made up to put people in boxes and keep them in competition with one another. How do we come to this conclusion? In part, we can attribute this made-up definition to our parents. This isn’t to say that our parents pressure us

to become popular, but it’s no secret every parent wants their child to be included. This desire clouds their kid’s motivation and forces them to allow a sense of competition into their early lives. Everyone is fairly familiar with the stereotypical popular kid. It peaked in the movie industry peaked in 2004 with the release of “Mean Girls.” We have concrete examples of what popular is, but what isn’t popular? Would you consider someone in band popular? I would, but I know some wouldn’t, and for what reason? Because they’d rather talk about Juilliard than Juuls? Band takes up a huge chunk of LHS’s population, I mean a “band kid” just won Homecoming Queen (Love you Josephine. I mean no tea by saying this). There is so much more depth to people than their labels. We often don’t understand that there are different versions of popularity. We forget that popularity can be found in niches. You can be popular in your social circle and not be considered popular in general, which is messed up. Another huge red flag with “popularity” is how it changes our relationships with people. Popularity is like cocaine (not that I’ve tried it): it makes you feel like you’re on

top of the world but it’s fleeting. Once you have it, you will do anything to keep it. I have found it makes people treat relationships like transactions, meaning that you hang out and associate with people because of what you’ll gain, but once those benefits run out it’s “thank u, next.” What happens when someone gets more attention than you and begins to pose a threat to your 15 minutes of fame? A simple tactic is used: Isolate them. Ignore them and don’t give them a reason why. Don’t invite them to hangout anymore and watch them get forgotten. Because anyone can tell you that if you miss one event, consider yourself over. Isn’t that scary? Here, I’ll even expose myself in this article. I’ll admit I care too much what people think of me. I care if people like me. I do, it’s human nature. It hurts me when people talk about me behind my back, or in some cases right in front of my face but they do it in a whisper, so that’s not obvious, right? I have absolutely had days where it is all I can do to make it to my car after school without combusting into tears because I was the only one without a partner in class. But, the more I see how desperate some kids are for a taste of the spotlight, the more I realize that none of this

matters. In less than a year, I’ll be graduated and living in a different state, and I’m not going to look back and thank God I got invited to a certain party or I had a certain amount of likes on my Instagram. It’s not going to keep me up at night dreading hearing another rumor about myself tomorrow at school. So how can we fix this “popularity problem”? People need to understand that their definition of popularity should not be how well-known they are, but how well-liked they are. It’s time to start treating everyone as equals and stop thinking because someone is labeled as popular, they are better than everyone else. This is easier said than done but it only takes a few kids to change the narrative of social hierarchy. Here’s how to do it: Let’s be honest with ourselves. Popularity isn’t real. Once you graduate, it won’t hold any significance in your life. If we start putting less influence on the quantity of our friends and focus on the quality of them, we can break down the power the label “popular” holds.

Yours always, Chloe Crissman

PERSPECTIVES 33

THE

To the nowhere man... BY HANNAH HANSEN, EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

Isn’t i t funny? I think it is, how the bustle and bliss of breathing and living seem to forget about you, and only you. You’re a nowhere man, after all. You don’t know where you’re going, or if every moment you’ve spent chasing your dreams is leading you to… the nowhere land? But you, of course, are already in the nowhere land. It’s your home. It’s where you spend every tragic moment of the day thinking in solidarity. It’s where the cartoons on your TV play, but all you see is static. It’s where the sun rises, but the sky remains in isolation, speckled with stars because you refuse to open the curtains. But you can’t see the stars anyway, can you? It’s okay. I prefer the darkness too. It’s easier that way, not seeing your shadow accomplish its dreams while you, on the other hand, are just a nowhere man. Essentially, if you opened the curtains and paid tribute to the colors on the TV, you could chase after success. Of course, your idea of success is far diﬀerent than my own, but that’s no matter. It’s the fear of your success in your nowhere land that makes you mistake color for static, that makes you substitute darkness for light. It’s your refusal to admit that, yes, you’re a nowhere man, but you’re not just a nowhere man. We all are just nowhere people making our nowhere plans to reach our nowhere dreams, seeing all of our nowhere shadows lingering behind the nowhere trees in our nowhere lands. It’s cataclysmic yet inviting, tragic yet promising. Now listen, the static is still vibrant and still welcoming. I don’t think that will But color is infused with opportunity, transparent through any avenue of the nowhere man, but your nowhere land has your nowhere mind is refusing to see.

the darkness is ever change. and light is sky. You may be a a nowhere plan that

You could see the blueprint of your nowhere plan if you wanted to. I mean, if you really wanted to. But you’re already preoccupied, aren’t you? You can’t focus on this form of idolized refuge because you’re too fixated on your nowhere point of view. And this nowhere point of view is jeopardizing, isn’t it? You’re afraid of thinking the wrong ideas, so you fall into the infinite black hole of believing that not having an opinion is far better than having the wrong one. Then again, you’re just a nowhere man.

The purpose of The Palindrome is to expose the ambiguous angles of life: the angles of which are sheltered from the common eye. There are diﬀerent ways to interpret life, several directions to look at it from and diverse concepts to challenge because of it. A palindrome involves looking at a word from a diﬀerent angle of interpretation; life requires you to separate what you see adjacent to the common eye and shift your vision toward the uncommon eye: the foreign, irresistible unknown.

Nowhere man, please listen. I’m a nowhere man too. We all are nowhere subjects of life that don’t know where we are going. Even if we wanted to, Making we wouldn’t be granted that wish. We live in our own nowhere lands and pretend like our nowhere plans have no real eﬀect on the world. But they do. We walk through life blinded by the wonders of living, baﬄed at the idea of dreams and inspired by the lack of inspiration. It’s the unknown that makes us thrive; it’s w what the world doesn’t have that makes us chase after success. success If you use being a “nowhere man” as an excuse for not opening the curtains, then you’re not really a nowhere man because you know exactly where you’re going: nowhere. If you see the sun rise and fall, the stars twinkle and dim, then you don’t know where you’re going: you’re a nowhere man. Yes, you’re a nowhere man. But that doesn’t mean your plans are going nowhere, your voice has nowhere to roam or your opinions have nowhere to grow. You don’t know what you’re missing, nowhere man. There’s a whole world out there.

To the

But, of course, nowhere man.

you wouldn’t know that, unless you’re a

“He’s a real nowhere man Sitting in his nowhere land all his nowhere plans for nobody.” The Beatles

Do me a favor. Stop apologizing. Now it would be wrong for me to tell you to do this without recognizing that I may be the world’s biggest hypocrite in this area. I apologize for everything. I apologize to people when they bump into me. I say sorry to my dog when it’s cold outside (she’s sensitive). I even apologize to cupboard doors when I close them loudly. Basically to summarize, I’m sorry. But I shouldn’t be.

sorry not sorry

According to Maja Jovanovic, Ph.D., sociology professor at McMaster University, “Apologizing when we have done something wrong is a real strength, but compulsive apologizing presents as a weakness at work and in personal relationships.” Apologizing for actions that you shouldn’t be or aren’t sorry for can impact your view of the world. Apologizing all of the time decreases your confidence and can make you appear as a “push-over” to people around you. It reduces the probability that you’ll leave a good first impression and can also put you in situations where others feel like they can take

advantage of you. Writer Sydney Beveridge made saying sorry less one of her New Year resolutions. “I want my words to stop cowering when they should stand tall,” said Beveridge. “I observed my own over-apologizing behavior over the last four months, noting moments when my inclination is to say “sorry,” whether to soothe or defer, or because it is my default.” Study your language. Notice your habits. Sorry isn’t meant to function as a way to fill conversation. It isn’t meant to make others feel better, but rather to genuinely express apologetic intentions. Using

it too much can make the word less meaningful. This isn’t to say that you should completely erase the word “sorry” from your vocabulary. If you do something wrong, please apologize. Use common sense. Be a good person. If you bump into someone, hit someone with your car or inconvenience another person, apologize. It should not be hard to distinguish scenarios where an apology is owed from the times “sorry” was used as a filler word. Become more aware of every word that you use. Make sure you mean it. Try to replace “sorry” phrases with “thank you” statements. Turn

“sorry I’m late” into “thank you for waiting for me.” Saying “thank you” turns tfocus of the interaction from one of condemnation, to one of gratitude. Adding a little positivity into everyone’s day. Sometimes it feels like there isn’t much that anyone can do to make bad days better. But focusing on the words that we use can impact whether we view the world positively or negatively more than we may initially imagine. Forcing ourselves to be thankful in situations where we would normally feel guilty allows us to change our attitudes and make ourselves a little more grateful.

redefined BY KATIE OSMUNDSON

Healthy School Lunches: is it a lost cause? BY JAIDA SORENSEN

According to FoodTank.com, America wastes about $1.2 billion in school lunches every year. High school and middle school students do not want crunchy burgers with soggy french fries, which is why they toss most of their meal into the garbage at the end of the lunch period. Parents and teachers have tried for way too long to make the lunches healthy, but is it even worth it if our kids aren’t eating them? I’m not saying that getting daily nutrition of vegetables, fruits and protein is not important to the growing teenager, but many are letting that food go to waste. The School Nutrition Association wrote in one of their trend reports that almost 93 percent of school meal oﬃcials within 1,100 school districts saw a drop in student participation. Although the lunch ladies help make sure every student has a fruit or veggie on their plate before leaving the cafeteria line, many of those items are put into a bowl right after paying for the meal, for anyone to pick up. Beside the register, there are shelves full of chips, cookies and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches that any student could grab without anything else on their plate. Does that follow the healthy guidelines that parents and teachers are trying to enforce? By giving more variety of healthy food items that were not frozen or left over from the day before, more students may be open to eating the school lunches. Many students have brought sack lunches to eat since elementary school because, regardless of what teachers and friends say, the lunch does not change. It is the same bread and milk from kindergarten to now. Despite Michelle Obama’s Healthy, Hunger-Free Kids Act, studies show there was plenty of food waste back in 2012 before Obama’s attempt to make school lunches healthier. This trend has not changed to this day. A year after Obama’s act, many of the average daily student participation rates for student lunches began declining, according to the U.S Department of Agriculture. The foods that are served are dull and uninspired. They also lack in variety, which makes the taste buds bland for the students. Most school lunch attention is not focused on making

the food more flavorful, but instead, they focus on how convenient it is to get the food to the school. Everyone wants to look forward to school lunch and for a time to finish their whole meal while talking and laughing with their friends. Schools are a place for learning and developing into smart and responsible adults, so why not use lunch to keep that going? By providing a wider range of healthy food choices, schools will be encouraging students to eat their entire meal. This will then lead to less food wasted.

PHOTOS BY JAIDA SORENSEN

38 PERSPECTIVES

CURIOSITY CRISIS

ENGAGE

EGAGNE

THE

So, we have this cat. Sorry, had this cat. My family isn’t a pet family. But my sister couldn’t sleep and insisted she needed a guard cat. Loopy and easily influenced from sleep deprivation, my parents conceded, adopting the newest member of the family, Casper. At the time, we were remodeling our house and there were these little cat-sized holes everywhere. Casper loved to explore them. Naturally, Casper went missing. My mom and dad aren’t helicopter parents; they felt that if Casper thought she was old enough to live in the walls, then they would consider themselves the proud owners of a wall-cat. But my sister and I knew something my parents didn’t: Living things need food. And Casper wasn’t eating. The problem then became: How do we get a cat out of a wall in order to save it from starvation? You know, kid stuﬀ. We turned to the fount of all knowledge: Google. As it turns out, catnip and patience were the only tools required for this catastrophe. Yeah, I hate me too. When Delaney, my sister, gallantly pulled Casper out of her sunken pit, a ray of light struck the tableau like the sun touching down upon Simba in the Lion King, and my sister said, holding Casper up like a newborn prophet, I kid you not- she said, “Curiosity nearly killed this cat. But we saved it.” Casper is in a better place now: our friend’s house. Her incessant need to explore wall-holes led her to a death-trap. Curiosity did nearly kill her. But our curiosity also saved her. Without our deep internet dive, Casper would have lived up to her name, a friendly ghost. The double bladed nature of curiosity cuts far beyond the hollow walls of my house. According to Ian Leslie in his book “Curious,” there are two types of curiosity: diversive and epistemic. Diversive curiosity is pure, unfettered inquisitiveness meandering without purpose… into a hole. Diversive curiosity is a baby with a fork and a power socket. When we wonder what our ex is up to and then stalk him/her on Instagram for hours, that is diversive curiosity. When we Google for bits of information and not understanding, that is diversive curiosity. It’s dangerous. It’s detrimental. Epistemic curiosity, on the other hand, is diversive curiosity all grown up: purposeful and poised. Academia is epistemic curiosity. Literature, experimentation, NASA, empathy: all epistemic curiosity. It’s what we want; it’s what we need. But, generally speaking, epistemic curiosity isn’t what we have. And this leads me to my primary concern: As diversive temptations become ubiquitous, our epistemic curiosity falls to the wayside, resulting in a populace plagued by the illusion of wisdom and a reality of ignorance.

CURIOSITY avoid strangers accosting them, asking why they would lie about their child’s death. Diversive curiosity not only halts innovation and discourages connection; it inspires actions that lack any empathy or humanity, actions so detached from reality and ignorant they paint victims as villians and rob them of their right to grieve privately. It’s time we ask the question: What can we do? Just that, ask questions. Go deep. But have a purpose, too. John Lloyd was a deeply successful English TV producer and director. His life was what most of us imagine to be nirvana: family, financial stability and fame. Despite his comfortable situation, Lloyd woke up one morning completely dissatisfied. Tail spinning in what seemed to be a midlife crisis of epic proportion, Lloyd fell into a deep depression. The recipient of the most prestigious English TV award could be found crying under his desk. But Lloyd was determined to overcome this. So, he took time oﬀ work. Spending his days walking and thinking and drinking whiskey… and reading. Lloyd loved to read, but never really got to because of his busy schedule. Little did he know his new hobby would pull him out of his depression like we pulled Casper out of her wall hole. Reading opened the world to Lloyd. Through books, he satisfied his innate and immense desire to learn. He went deep, exploring topics as disparate as politics and wood varnish. Regardless of the subject, though, Lloyd learned with the intent to understand, not merely know. In order to live in a world brimming with epistemic curiosity and, by extension, empathy and humanity, we must live our lives like Lloyd: hungry for the truth, the complete truth. For a shallow truth carries us, with a false confidence, to failure. Lloyd knew depth, and, thereby, avoided the plights of diversive curiosity. We have to dive deep into our curiosity. As deep as NASA’s Rover, Curiosity, plunged into space when it went to Mars. As deep as my grandparents’ porchfront conversations with their neighbors. As deep as my sister’s hand when she pulled Casper out of the wall-hole. We must charge on with direction because the balance between humanity and apathy can only be tipped by profoundly curious hearts. By Gage Gramlick, Editor-in-Chief

EGAGNE

According to an article published by the Guardian, Google gives users a false sense of insight. Often, the information we acquire via a quick google search is a narrow truth, or a falsehood altogether. But because there is a net gain in knowledge, we feel that we’ve fulfilled our epistemic responsibility. In the process, however, we’ve only fed our diversive curiosity and suppressed its epistemic counterpart. Ironically, in an age ostensibly defined by enlightenment through the free-flow of information, we’ve never been more blind or less hungry for purposeful and complete truth. As we reach for screens instead of stars, we’re also failing to reach out. Curiosity thrusts us into intellectual endeavours such as NASA, but also motivates us to meet new people, people like our neighbors. And nobody is closer to their neighbors than my grandparents. They not only know each other, but they look out for one another. I always believed this to be due to the insane amount of time they’ve lived in their house. They say, however, that’s just how it used to be. Neighbors were close. I don’t know what the heck those flower children were smoking, but I’ve never really met my neighbors. My neighbors, if they exist, are not close to me. And I’m not alone; according to the Pew Research Center, one-third of all Americans have never met their neighbors. Ever. We are so stuck within ourselves, so apathetic to the world around us, we fail to reach out to the people living 30 feet from us. We’ve become islands. Volcanic islands with the potential to breathe in diversive curiosity and spew hate. Known as the eccentric host of InfoWars, Alex Jones feeds oﬀ the diversive curiosity of his followers. Other than asserting that frogs are being made gay by water poisoned by the government, his biggest claim-to-fame is his accusation that Sandy Hook was staged. Parents are now suing Jones because like-minded individuals have fallen into his diversive trap and have began to harass the parents of the victims of Sandy Hook. Bereaved parents have had to move to private communities to

CRISIS

Moreover, the nature of curiosity dictates a direct trade-off between diversive and epistemic wonder; meaning, when one finds success, the other is met with failure. A diversive-minded community inherently lacks epistemic practices. Historically, mankind has pressed its hand on the delicate balance between the two disparities, consciously favoring the progressive. One example of this is NASA. Stephen Hawkings once said, “Look up at the stars and not down at your feet. Try to make sense of what you see, and wonder about what makes the universe exist. Be curious.” Hawkings understood that space is curiosity’s playground, endless in potential for discovery. Furthermore, NASA embodies the tenets of epistemic curiosity; teeming with purposeful ambition, this government entity is the direct result of positive curiosity. We sent a man to the moon! But NASA is dying. According to the National Office of Budgeting and Managing, at the peak of the race to space, we funded NASA with 4.41 percent of tax dollars- today, we allocate a dismal 0.47 percent. I’m not great at math- I prefer lunch- but I’m pretty sure that means we, as a nation, are 9.38 times less willing to invest in curiosity than we were in 1966. The truth of our dying disposition to constructive curiosity is as undeniable as the fact that my cat had to go on anti-anxiety medication. But the question remains: Why is this happening? That’s a difficult question, so I GTSed it: Googled that… Stuff? And what I found was interesting to say the least. Did you know there’s a conspiracy that the government can control the weather and your mind? There’s actually so much evidence for this, OMG. So essentially during the Vietnam war, which there’s another conspiracy that never happened, but assuming that it did, there were these spies, right, that were actually communist robots that controlled the weather with lizards. But then: plot twist! The rain from the artificial weather had mindcontrolling chemicals. Why else would people buy bell bottom pants and lava lamps? Think about it. My point is: there are a lot of distractions on the Internet- echo chambers, informational rabbit holes, or cat-holes, I guess. And worse, we often mistake these distractions as tokens of wisdom.

ENGAGE

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M E E T T H E VA R S I T Y

BOYS BASKETBALL JARED JAROS, 12

NATE BRECHT, 12

Who would you be at LHS: Some cool sub I had. Good Luck Charm: Bhad Bhabie. Biggest Secret: Haha shh.

ZACH HANSON, 12 Who would you be at LHS: Travis Aukerman because he is the most interesting man you will ever meet. Good Luck Charm: Running my fingers through Nate’s mullet. Biggest Secret: I lost to Lexi Barbush in a one on one game.

LEXI HOCHSTEIN, 12 Who would you be at LHS: Mr. Rice because who wouldn’t want to be Rice? Good Luck Charm: Chugging three Hydrives. Biggest Secret: I have a twin brother.

MORGAN HANSEN, 11 Who would you be at LHS: Eric Rice because of his magic bald spot. Good Luck Charm: Elliott Hackett. Biggest Secret: I jinxed my dogs death.

42 STATESMAN

GRANT RUSSELL, 12 Who would you be at LHS: Tate Leslie because he is my MVP. Good Luck Charm: When Kesean hits the bust down in the dance circle. Biggest Secret: On game days I can’t take my sweating medicine because it dries out my mouth.

Who would you be at LHS: Zach Hanson because he’s half man half dog. Good Luck Charm: Stroking my mullet and beating Jared in one on one. Biggest Secret: My love for Elle Dobbs.

NOLAN RANSOM, 12

WRESTLING

JACOB MURPHY, 12

DYLAN MUTH, 12

Who would you be at LHS: Mr. Foss, he’s just cool. Good Luck Charm: Weighing in wearing my pajamas and shotgunning energy drinks. Biggest Secret: I know every word to “A Thousand Miles” by Vanessa Carlton.

Who would you be at LHS: Mr. Tuttle because I want his mustache. Good Luck Charm: Listening to music or watching Kesean Ladd dance. Biggest Secret: I’m really into feet.

MIA JONES, 12

ELIZABETH BOYSEN, 10

Who would you be at LHS: Mr Jones. Good Luck Charm: Lujain Khan. Biggest Secret: I’m an open book, I have no secrets.

GIRLS BASKETBALL SYDNAYA DUNN, 12

ALEXIS ALLEN, 12

Who would you be at LHS: Halseth because he gets paid to stand in the hallways. Good Luck Charm: Spending an hour in the training room. Biggest Secret: Syd is 18 and still talks in the third person.

MYA WILSON, 11 Who would you be at LHS: Halseth because he is just a cool cat. Good Luck Charm: My columbia blue retro Jordan shoes. Biggest Secret: I don’t think I should say...

Who would you be at LHS: Mr. Grimm. I could make earbuds legal. Good Luck Charm: My knee brace. Biggest Secret: I hate bananas!

EMMA OSMUNDSON, 11 Who would you be at LHS: Trent Dlugosh because he gets to coach the greatest softball team ever. Good Luck Charm: Lots of mayo on my pre-game sandwich. Biggest Secret: There’s a reason why it’s a secret.

Who would you be at LHS: Dawson Black because he’s awesome at Fortnite. Good Luck Charm: My lightning socks. Biggest Secret: I love bananas.

GYMNASTICS

MAX BURCHILL, 11

Who would you be at LHS: Sam Dobbs because I just want to be that good at tennis. Good Luck Charm: Daulton Vanderloo. Biggest Secret: I plead the 5th.

Who would you be at LHS: Wilson Furula because he is fast. Good Luck Charm: A 20 dollar bill in my sock. Biggest Secret: I’m afraid of clowns.

TAE ELLENBECKER, 9

Who would you be at LHS: Mrs. Kroeze because she’s cool, I guess. Good Luck Charm: Being late to every practice and meet. Biggest Secret: I have four scrunchies, two warmup jackets and a pair of pants from the back room of the gym.

KASSIE LIAS, 10 Who would you be at LHS: Mrs. Stai because she is kind and always oﬀers help and is really cool. Good Luck Charm: The bows we make for our hair every meet. Biggest Secret: It wouldn’t be a secret anymore if I told you.

BOWLING KAITLIN GRAHAM, 12 Who would you be at LHS: Dave from the lunch room because he wears cool hats. Good Luck Charm: None I don’t need one. Biggest Secret: I killed a bird once... oops.

BROOKLYN GAGNON, 10 Who would you be at LHS: Mrs. Johnson because she always has a smile on her face and makes a very friendly enviornment. Good Luck Charm: Water bottle. Biggest Secret: I love bowling!

EMILY WINTER, 12 Who would you be at LHS: Brooke Winter because then it’s a true sister swap. Good Luck Charm: An Irish rock. Biggest Secret: I’m in love with my car. ;) -Roger Taylor

STATESMAN 43