No Magazine by Lindsey Capps

No magazine

Travel To Outer Space Beauty Tips and Tricks for Ugly Ducklings

Interview with The Unromantics Artist, Maia Gawor-Sloane Buy That! Shopping Guide for Your Everyday Necessities

DITORS WORDS EDITORS WORD DITORS WORDS EDITORS WORD DITORS WORDS EDITORS WORD DITORS WORDS

Welcome to the first issue of No Magazine. We are an independently run anti-lifestyle magazine. First and foremost, No Magazine was created in the hopes of creating a judgment free space for like minded individuals. We believe in sharing thoughts and ideas to grow together as a community. As an anti-lifestyle magazine, we are hoping to challenge the highly curated lifestyle often portrayed in our society today.

To set the tone for our first issue we chose the color â&#x20AC;&#x153;yellowâ&#x20AC;? for our theme. On a creative level, the color yellow is the color of new ideas and finding new ways of doing things. The color yellow also relates to acquired knowledge. It is the color which resonates with the left or logic side of the brain stimulating our mental faculties. Each article in this issue as well as future issues of No Magazine is aiming to provoke a greater conversation tactfully hidden with satire. Cheers,

Editor in Chief Lindsey Capps

No magazine

How To Steal Your Neighborâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Wifi Beauty Tips and Tricks for Ugly Ducklings

Interview with The Unromantics Artist, Maia Gawor-Sloane Buy That! Shopping Guide for Your Everyday Necessities

On the Cover: Lorryn Rose Photography: Cathy Nguyen Editor in Chief / Creative Director: Lindsey Capps Contributors: Andrew Lloyd Wilson, Alissa Malhoit, Victoria Pallien, Isabella Roy, Lorryn Rose Talent: Lorryn Rose, Kylie Cloutier, Mitzi Okou, Gabrielle Malate, Sam Anthony, Cathy Nguyen Special Thanks: The Future on Forsyth, House of Strut, Closet Finds, Capps Land Management Inc., Lorryn Rose, Alexis Atkins, Stacey and Ed Capps (love you guys <3)

Contents

FASHION

ART

Buy That! Dirty Girl

The Unromantics

TRAVEL To the Moon and Back

BEAUTY Ugly Duckling

Contents

FOOD Jail Food Recipes

38 WORDS Diary Entry

QUIZZES AND SUCH Horoscopes

42-43

Quiz

44 7

WA NT AD S

WANTED: A small, fluffy white dog I may take on loan. May be returned hairless, but will be kept safe at all costs. Cash payment upfront.

WANTED: A maid. Will be responsible for basic chores like vacuuming, dusting, etc. Must own and be able to utilize pogo stick. Weekly pay.

WANTED: A partner. We will be fleeing the planet at a moment’s notice so please bring spacesuit. Must provide your own dried food and beverage, but I will equip you with mental and physical preparation. Will be paid if you survive the mission.

WANTED: A dentist. My office has been getting far too many negative reviews so I’ve fired the old one and am in need of a new. No experience necessary. Biweekly pay.

WANTED: A tall, blonde woman to impress my mother at our family reunion. Occupation does not matter. Will be paid in 3 installments.

WANTED: A small sedan, preferably without license plates and traceable serial number. Will pay cash up front.

WANTED: A mind. I’ve lost mine. Any mind will do. Needed ASAP. Will pay cash. WANTED: Workers. Must be able to dig large holes up to 6 feet deep. Bring your own shovels. Will be paid in 2 installments. Will receive bonus if you have access to a previously used tombstone.

By: Victoria Pallien

Fashion Never Forget What Day It Is Again!

La Vie En Orange: 8 Days A Week Days Of The Week Men’s Handmade Underwear MultiPack: $195.00

Disclaimer: We are in no way endorsed by these products we simply think they rock, so no pressure. Buy them if you want or don’t, whatever floats your boat.

Charmin Ultra Soft Toilet Paper 12 Mega Rolls: $12.59

Flintstones Gummies Complete Children’s Multivitamin Supplement

$1.49 Each!

Woah!!! ULTRA SOFT!!!

Light My Fire Original BPAFree Tritan Spork MultiColor 4-Pack: $9.16

Flirting For Dummies Paperback: $6.97

The Best of Both Worlds!

Fashion

What A Deal !

Chia SpongeBob Handmade Decorative Planter: $15.49

Basic Landscape Oil Paint Set: $45.40

Hamburger Scented White Castle Candle: $15.00

A candle with a good cause! 100% of net proceeds from candle sales will be donated to Autism Speaks.

The Coolest Cooler Ever

Coolest Cooler: $448.95

Macrame Plant Hanger, Modern Plant Holder, large hanging planters, off-white pot holder, 70s hanging basket: $28.00

Dirty Girl An ode to all you dirty (nasty) gals out there ;)

Photographer: Cathy Nguyen

Corset and Turtleneck: Future on Forsyth, Shoes and Necklace: Vintage, Jacket: Gucci

Pants: Mirth Vintage, Fishnets: Future on Forsyth, Shoes: Adidas, Earrings and Necklace: Models Own

Fishnets: Future on Forsyth, Jacket and Shoes: Closet Finds, Belt: Vintage

Blouse: Future on Forsyth, Skirt: Cathy Nguyen, Shoes: Dr. Martens

Turtle Neck: Future on Forsyth, Coat: Models Own, Shoes: Vintage

Beauty

ugÂˇly duckÂˇling noun a person, especially a child, who turns out to be beautiful or talented against all expectations. Photographer: Kendall Eager Makeup Artist: Chloe Walter Hair: Lorryn Rose

Metal Face

Get the Look! : NYX Studio Liquid Liner, Extreme Blue: $9.00 Shirt: House of Strut

Dumbo

Get the Look! : NYX Color Mascara, Mint Julep: $7.00, Vaseline Cocoa Butter Petroleum Jelly: $3.49 Shirt: Modelâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s own

Buck Tooth

Get the Look! : NYX Hot Singles Eyeshadow: $4.49, NYX Slim Eye Pencil, Brown: $3.49, Vaseline Cocoa Butter Petroleum Jelly: $3.49 Turtle neck: Modelâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s own, Checkered Shirt: House of Strut

Four Eyes

Get the Look! : NYX Soft Matte Lip Cream, Monte Carlo: $5.99, NYX Slim Eye Pencil, Brown: $3.49, Anastasia Beverly Hills Clear Brow Gel: $22.00 Vaseline Cocoa Butter Petroleum Jelly: $3.49 Shirt: Closet Finds

Gold Miner

Get the Look! : NYX Slim Lip Pencil, Rose: $3.49, NYX Slim Eye Pencil, Brown: $3.49, Anastasia Beverly Hills Clear Brow Gel: $22.00 Shirt: House of Strut

Travel

Travel But if there’s one reason to make the lengthy ride up, it’s for the view. There you are, in the middle of space, among the stars and what not, and you look down at little old Earth, and for once you understand how lucky you are. A trip to the moon isn’t for people content staying at home and acting out their normal day-in and day-out routines. It’s for the people who just aren’t satisfied. The one’s that feel there’s always more out there to be seen. Watching the Earth from the moon is a must for two reasons: 1. You’re on a completely different planet, not just a country over, and it makes you really appreciate all that Earth is. 2. You look at Earth, and see every place you’ve never been, every place you won’t have time to visit, is right there in front of you. Don’t let the lack of air or life or food deter you. The view makes it all worth your while. Not to mention, when you return, you’re like a completely new person. You’ve lost a few pounds from rationing all that freezerbagged food and the feeling of your feet planted firmly on the ground gives you a new sense of stability. A trip to the moon may not be for everyone, but for those who go, they’ll return feeling as if they’ve discovered a whole new world.

By: Alissa Malhoit

Travel

When traveling to the moon one needs to prepare wholeheartedly. When it comes to clothes, not much matters, after all those suits they make you wear out cover up just about every inch of your body. Imagine a stumbling version of the Michelin man with your face on the front and you’ve pretty much grasped the concept. But still, for time spent inside the ship, one may want to dress up now and then, so don’t be afraid to put in some time and really think it through. As far as shoes goes, don’t over do it, apparently when you’re floating around aimlessly shoes seem a bit unproductive so foot wear isn’t the biggest concern either. If there’s any aesthetic focus to be had, it’s the face, so ladies bring that makeup, it’ll be you’re only tool of “changing it up” while you’re up there. Not to mention, that everyone will be able to see you while you’re there. Everyone on Earth can see the moon, so enjoy being in the spotlight. Now the trip up there won’t be brief, it’ll take a few days before you reach it, but once you’ve arrived, it’s like nothing you’ve ever seen before. Geographically speaking there isn’t much. A lot of rocks so careful where you step, dead volcanoes, impact craters and lava flow to name a few.

Maia GaworSloane Interview by: Lindsey Capps

Art Tell us a little bit about yourself. I’m currently a senior art major at a small liberal arts college in Asheville, North Carolina. My focus here has been in painting and drawing, and I am very interested in graphic design and illustration as well. Outside fine arts, I love rock climbing, editing Instagram pics, viral videos, and singing in the car. Can you tell us about your series “The Unromantics” and how long you have been working on it? “The Unromantics” is the name I have given my senior project, and it comes from my views on how our generation of millennials interact with the world. I see this as a comment on how the weird or funny or uncomfortable moments we find ourselves in are incredibly far from romantic, even though this is often seen as an age which is romanticized or exaggerated in films, books, and television. I have been working on this project in some capacity since the fall/ winter of 2015, when I began to think about what my thesis would look like. Since then, the series has undergone many changes (I’m pretty sure I had a different project proposal every week last semester) but now it has solidified into a comedic, somewhat caricature-esque look at millennials and unpacking our day to day interactions. A huge part of that unpacking involves the duality of how we present ourselves online versus how we actually are in real life, and the affects of these different selves on others. Our perceptions of others are heavily influenced by the way we see their identities on social media – especially Tinder and Instagram – and the “highlight reel” tendencies of those platforms. What happens when we let others highlight reels get to our heads and all of a sudden we’ve been looking through our ex’s ex on Insta for an hour and a half? This is the kind of moment I bring to life through “The Unromantics.”

What inspired you to create “The Unromantics” series?

through selfies, memes, and makeup tutorials.

I was inspired by the idea that each of us has a personal narrative or story, but we often don’t realize how much our individual stories overlap and relate to one another. My main goal has always been to create a project that was relatable and understandable to the viewer; being a college student, my natural audience is made up of peers and friends whose

What kinds of materials do you use? I work mostly with gouache because I love the pigmented matte quality of the paints. I also work in oils for larger work and ink for smaller pieces. As a painter, mediums that are applied with a brush are my go-to. As for surfaces, I create work on canvas, paper, and mat board. With some basic graphic design skills, I think my work could also be easily translated. How do you think hook up culture and social media has changed the dating game?

stories are most similar to mine. This meant that illustrating the commentary on the everyday lives of millennials would be easy to make accessible to the majority of viewers because not only is that group all my peers and friends, millennials are also the largest living generation since 2015. What’s so great about making work that is accessible to the largest social group? It lets us see ourselves in something outside ourselves; we can begin to understand our generation’s behaviors, and therefore our own, when we see those behaviors translated to new mediums such as painting, rather than the endless scrolling

Perhaps the most shocking fact about hookup culture is that we think it’s a new thing, that hookups on college campuses are something invented by Tinder and sliding into your DMs on Instagram. The truth is, hookups have been present on college campuses since colleges and universities became coed, and even before that when they were only for men. However, modern hookup culture as we know it through a millennial lens is different from past hookup culture because it is so heavily centered on the Internet and social media. The advent of presenting our personal lives on social media as a highlight reel has created an overwhelming experience of perceiving other lives to be nicer or cooler because they seem more photogenic. We are choosing our hookups based on a few photos that are carefully chosen (or not carefully, what’s with the mirror selfies and prom pics with your ex?) by each individual as a means of appearing as attractive and available as possible. A short witty bio, your age, maybe a Spotify anthem song, or even an Instagram link are the only other bits of information we gather to make these choices. And that choice happens all within a matter of seconds, as fast as sending your bff a new fuckjerry meme. Fig.1.1 You text too much, gouache & acrylic on canvas, 11”x14”, 2017 Fig 1.2 A lot to hold, gouache on mat board, 7”x71/2”, 2016

Fig.1.3 The Modern Temptation of Eve, gouache on mat board, 81/2”x11, 2016 Fig 1.4 Getting ready sux bc what r u even getting ready for ?, gouache on mat board, 61/2”x81/4”, 2017

Art Can you tell us about some personal experiences you have had while researching for this project?

What advice would you give to your fellow millennials about navigating the dating world?

I had never actually used Tinder until long after I had started this project. It was something that I researched and talked about from the outside in an academic way but had no personal experience with myself. Honestly, making an account only strengthened the content I was creating for this project because it allowed me to make work that was taking the perceived (and actual) grossness out of Tinder and shedding light on the hilarity and comedy of it. My piece “Guys I may have known” came from all the screenshots I took while browsing the local Tinder scene at school – none of it is made up. This is the kind of content that makes my project relatable: how many people do you know who use Tinder? How many of them joke or dish about the weird, funny, or strange things that they have seen or been told while swiping? Probably most, even if they swear they only have an account to be ironic. Visualizing actual caricatures of those moments on my part as the artist validates that experience for my audience, making the personal narrative I am telling one of universal relatability.

The coolest thing about our generation is that we are never alone in our emotions; somewhere, someone has felt or is feeling the same weird despair over seeing an ex tagged in photos with their new partner. There are thousands of ways to connect with artists, writers, bloggers, and just everyday people who want to share their experiences. Unfortunately for us, life is not an indie film or a Nicholas Sparks novel (ugh yes Ryan Gosling) but it is both wildly beautiful and extraordinarily shitty at times. Being in love or getting Super

What’s next for you? In May I will be officially done with my undergrad and off into the weird wide world. I am planning on going to grad school in 2018 to study art therapy, which I hope to use to work with people of all ages – young children, teens navigating high school, and adults who are in need of a voice to share their story. In whatever capacity my studio art comes with me, I know that the idea of sharing the personal narrative will be very present. I am interested in magazines and podcasts as well, and finding a way to make a platform that explores my thesis topic more broadly and has voices besides my own to talk about this generation. (if you wanna collab hmu!!!!) Where can we see more of your work?

What has this project taught you about yourself? This project has allowed me to look at my generation’s culture in an objective way. It has been incredibly rewarding to create work that is not asking for change in one direction or another, but rather to simply illustrate the reality of the millennial lifestyle. As a millennial myself, I can say with 100% sureness that the expectations and outcomes of the implicit rules of hookup culture pertain heavily to my everyday life; in fact, a boy I think is cute just liked my selfie on Instagram and it made my heart flutter a little bit. Not enough to date him, though, because that would be too much of a commitment.

double text, don’t like too many of their pictures in a row, you get the gist – allows us to see our behavior in a context that separates our emotions from our reality. When we recognize ourselves in a realm that it outside our minds, we begin to understand what’s happening inside our minds.

Liked or having a couples hashtag are just some ways we navigate the modern dating world, but the rest is up to you. Honestly, hookup culture can really truly suck. We can literally find a hookup as easy as ordering a Dominoes pizza or call an Uber. Getting a “u up” text is pretty much a new way of saying “I’ll pick you up at six.” Grand gestures have moved away from gifts and dinner to the distant possibility of a Tinder date paying for your beer or screenshotting the selfie on your Insta story. Making art about this generation allows us to see ourselves from the inside out. It gives others a place to find connection and relatability in times of feeling blue or a potential paralysis over something dumb on Snapchat. Having an understanding of the unspoken rules of hookup culture – don’t

You can find my portfolio at http://mgsloane.wixsite. com/home, on Instagram at @mgsloane, or at my senior show “Full Disclosure” at Warren Wilson College in Asheville NC from April 20th – 29th!

Fig.1.5 The Perfect Slut, gouache on mat board, 61/2”x8”, 2017 Fig 1.6 Shut up about yourself, ink on paper, 3”x4”, 2017

Life. What’s the meaning of it? Everyone sees it dif

different. I sometimes wonder if I’m the only one wh about the

meaning. I think about the purpose

was put on this earth. And I always wonder what it m

days I feel like there is not much to live for and ev

planned out

for us. Were born then are forc

the age 18 or for me 17 then were expected to go t years and by then were suppose to

know what w

rest of our life. Were suppose to get a career and

a family and kids. Then you spend the rest of you things to your kids and their kids.

Why does it h

Through the years i’ve lived so far I’ve experienced

life. My childhood best friend was suicidal and I wen

wondering if she would be dead the next morning. I’ why you would want to die and I was always

4.5.15 By: Lorryn Rose

Words

afrai

ho thinks this deeply of my life and why i

means to live. These

very

step of life is

ced into school until

to college for 4 more

we want to do for the

d be successful with

ur life passing these

have to be this way?

d many things about

nt to bed every night

’ve always wondered

id of death.

And for that I want my life to be extraordinary, I want to live my life to the fullest. Why cry about life instead of embracing it? I wonder if a simple everyday life is worth it but I realize that for some reason, for what I may never know, I was put on this earth and I am this person, this human being. I wasn’t made to be a leaf or a star or another type of life on a different planet in a different galaxy but I am here on this earth as this person. I mean something, I impact this earth in someway. And just because not everyone knows me doesn’t make this life any less than theirs. The only thing that matters is me mattering to someone else. I have family and friends that love me for who I am and that’s what life is. Caring for others is what life is about. Knowing that you have someone. And maybe that's why some people don't want to live, is because they feel alone, like they don't have anyone. But there are people all around put on this earth for a reason. Maybe the person next to you on the bus sat next to you to be someone in your life. I always think about life. The meaning, like the story behind it. And even though a simple story is worth everything, I want to be more. I want to stand for something. I want to show people that they can have whatever life they want. I don't want to live the way it's planned out. I want to live like there is no tomorrow like this is our last day. Everyday has a meaning, everyday brings us one step closer to our destiny. It’s what we do in that day that can change our destiny. Why should we stick to our same routine? Why not go off course and experience something different? Why not take a leap of faith and do something crazy? Why not make that wrong choice? Why hold back at all? This is our life and we live it how we want. We take the risk, do the thing your heart is telling you to do. Live by your heart. Why hold back on what you're wanting to do. Today will go and tomorrow will come, but until how long?

Words

Diary Entry

fferent and values it

Jail Food Recipes By: Preston Harris Photographer: Brittany Reidy

Nobody plans on going to prison -- at least, not many people do, ya know? It's a tax on possibility; dreams are tossed into a void and exchanged for a the day-day routine of commissary, exercise, and coming to terms with your limitations. Boredom is the product of this limitation and breaking the routine is the closest thing to actual escape you'll be able to pull off. I always liked cooking. Before getting locked up, that was my professions. I've worked kitchens up and down the east coast. Naturally, I thought the food on the inside was shit. Who doesn't. I can't say what I ended up making was gourmet but it was nice a change from what came on the trays, and it helped free me of boredom. Here are some of my favorite recipes that one can make with items from the prison commissary.

*Swole Recipe on page 46

Food 2) Roll Cake: Ingredients: 3 packaged honey buns or sweet rolls 1 fruit cup 2 jelly packets Directions: Drain fruit cup and combine with honey buns in a bag. Use your hands to mix and smash the contents in the bag. Remove the mixture from the bag and spread the dough and fruit mixture flat. In the center of the flattened dough add the jelly packets and spread evenly. Next, take one end and begin rolling into a log. Finally use an edge to slice into disks.

40 Food

Food

3) Quick pruno Ingredients: 1 8 oz bottle of orange juice 1 fruit cup 5 packets of sugar Directions: In a wide-mouthed bottle (sports drink bottles work best) mix the orange juice and the syrup from fruit cup. Make sure to not fill over 3â&#x20AC;&#x2122;4ths of the bottle with liquid. Next add sugar and mix well. Remove the lid from the bottle and place a layer of three coffee filters over the opening. Secure the coffee filters with rubber bands or nylon. Place the bottle in a dark place and allow the mixture to ferment for at least 4 days and no longer than 7. Enjoy when you pull it.

Food

Quizzes and Such Laying around comes easy to you. That’s why you’re so smart, so take the time today to sit in the center of a field to reflect on how much money you’ve been wasting on music for your Zune.

Aries March 21April 19

A strong mind combined with your stellar Taurus intuition gives you a special edge when April 20deciphering which underwear you should May 20 put on your head to watch Scandal. Look out for unnecessary interruptions today, and remember that cleanliness is close to Godliness. The love of your life will be wearing blue Gemini converse and an Apple Jacks t-shirt. May 21Make sure you tell them how much you hate Lucky Charms when you meet and I June 20 suggest that you use your third eye to see inside of the mind of your banker so you can make preparations for your homeless half-brother.

By: Isabella Roy

Have you been working hard to keep your errands to a minimum, Cancer? If so, you will notice an advantage next time you try to brush your teeth with your fingers, since they will be clean and free of callouses. Be sure to watch 45 minutes of commercials today with no breaks of shows. You will know why when you see it. A long-term relationship you’ve been putting most of your energy into may finally end in whipped cream, chocolate cherries and tears tonight. Keep an eye out for it to keep your heart in a jar and be sure to keep any cream from getting into that one eye. Your contacts might shrivel in the shower tonight, so be aware.

Cancer June 21July 22

Communication flows freely while taking a bath in yogurt. Be sure to get Greek yogurt this time, though. You know why.

Virgo August 23September 22

Leo July 23August 22

Quizzes and Such

Do you have some paperwork regarding your divorce from the rabbit you had when you were nine, Libra? If so, today would be a great day to start and now finish it. Make sure to walk backwards into all doors you venture into today, you’ll be sure to get a promotion, but only if you work at a nursing home.

Libra September 23- October 22

Have you been wanting to watch 12 hours of Law & Order: SVU, Scorpio? If so, this is the day to do it. Shut your door, close your blinds and sit cross legged in the dark on your couch while watching Elliot Stabler into the wee hours of the morning. Don’t eat anything today either, you don’t want to scare the ghosts under your refrigerator.

Scorpio October 23November 21

Have you ever wanted to sleep for more than 28 hours at a time? Today is your chance, Sagittarius! Drop everything important you were going to do today. Leave your mother at the hospital, your boss one person short and your best friend behind bars. It’s time to think of yourself and leave everyone who loves you behind.

Sagittarius November 22December 21

Capricorn, you’ve been single for quite some time now. Even if you aren’t, come on, you know you really are deep down inside. So take this time to ask yourself out on a date. Go to an amusement park, ride that wobbling roller coaster, put peanut butter in your hair. Enjoy yourself.

Capricorn December 22- January 19

Your dreams will come true while hanging upside down in your nephew’s closet, but only if you put in red contacts and a mouth guard. Good luck.

Aquarius January 20Febuary 18

Take all of your bracelets off today, Pisces. It is in your best interest to head to the grocery store and to fit yourself in the part of the shopping cart that children sit in. Have someone push you around. If you can find someone to do it, they will be your lifelong partner.

Pisces Febuary 19March 20

Quizzes and Such

WhY

Quizzes and Such

Who

Quizzes and Such

What Blah

Where

Quizzes and Such

Blah h a l B

halB halB hal B

Jail Food Recipe: Swole (AKA Spread or Blow up) Ingredients: 1 bag of Instant noodles with seasoning packet 1 bag hot Fries off any brand 1 bag of cheese flavored potato chips 1 bag of cheese crackers 1 bag pork cracklings 2 standard-sized meat sticks 1 packet of salt 1 packet mayonnaise Directions: Crush noodles, hot fries, chips, pork cracklings, and crackers in their bags. In a separate, bigger bag (or the biggest chip bag), combine all the crushed ingredients. Break the meat sticks into small pieces and add to bag. Next, pour salt, seasoning packet, and mayonnaise in with the other ingredients. Close the top of the bag and mix well by rolling, squeezing and shaking the contents. Add hot water to the bag and mix well until all ingredients are wet and the consistency of a paste. Seal the bag and wrap in a towel to keep the heat in. Let the bag sit for about 30mins or until all the water is absorbed. Enjoy the contents on bread, crackers, or by itself. *Note: A bottle can also be used to mix and soak the ingredients if itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s available.

S T O P *BREATHE* Questions, comments, or just want to chat? Shoot us an email

Lindseybeth05@ gmail.com Follow us on Instagram

cappslocklinds

L8RS! ;-) 47