To The Human Race

To the Human Race: After the World Crashes Down for the First Time

Copyright © 2008 The Pittsburgh High School for the Creative and Performing Arts, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania The copyright to individual stories remains the property of the author.

United States of America First Edition January 2009 Designed by Madeline Chandler Reproduction in any form by any means without specific written permission from the individual author is prohibited.

TABLE OF CONTENTS: Writer’s Statement Opening Poem: To the Human Race: After the World Crashes Down for the First Time MUSIC: Concert Etiquette- Article Concert- Poem New Found Glory- Concert Review Victory Lane- Concert Review FAMILY: Kai’s Sunglasses- Poem Excerpt from memoir

FILM AND THEATER: Spielberg 49.3- Poem Horror Movie Morals- Article Employee of the Month- Film Review Jackass 2- Film Review Mary Kate and Ashley are Easy to Love- Article Edward Scissorhands Ballet- Theater Review Into the Woods- High School Musical Review Forget it, Jake. It’s Chinatown- 10 Minute Play SCHOOL: Krissy and Chris-Poem Cheater’s Lament- Short Story Cheater’s Retribution- Short Story LIFE: Kevin Casper-Short Story He Changed my Life, You Ruined It- Poem

Through out the years, I have worked to improve and change my writing style.

When I started at the Pittsburgh High School for the Creative and Performing Arts, I relied heavily upon humor to get by in my writing. I didn’t really know any other way to write. I thought it was the best way to write. Just amuse people.

As the years went by, I discovered writers and movements that have heavily influenced my writing, particularly Allen Ginsberg and the Beats. Through my discovery of them and the discovery of feelings that I wanted to show through my writing, I moved in a different direction. I started writing more seriously and using more sophisticated humor.

One of the biggest realizations that I have had is that I don’t always have to outwardly say what the situation is. I don’t have to use a big metaphor because, to tell the truth, I am really not a fan of metaphors. I use my emotions to describe a concrete situation, but not go into details about it. This epiphany tremendously helped me, especially when I write poetry.

I chose these particular pieces of writing because I believe they best represent how I started out and where I have gotten. They show a range of emotions and many different kinds of writing. They show how I use humor in a better manner now and I show my emotions in a solid way.

All through out high school I have become a different person, a better person. I have matured. I have come into my own. I’ve realized whom I want to socialize with, how I would like to spend my time, and what I want to do with my life. One of the best and biggest changes I have experienced is in my writing. It shows.

To the Human Race: After the World Crashes Down for the First Time Sometimes, knowing you’re not a good person can set you free.

A night of crying really is better for your health. It can hurt, but so can finding out years later that everyone hates you for the same reason. You may hate yourself for five minutes, but not forever.

It’s allowed to be your fault. People will still love you. Promise.

Seeing that someone else isn’t at fault makes you brave.

It will help you improve yourself after the world crashes down… the first time. Remember, best friends on the phone save lives.

You know what your allergies are. You know you love cherry Pop-Tarts, but not the actual fruit. Go ask someone else how their day was.

Learning about someone else gives you the chance to breathe.

It helps you realize you’re not as important. Love that fact.

Just letting it all come out helps. Don’t hide your feelings until you blow up. Your relationships will be stronger if you trust the other person not to forget you over petty struggles.

I wish I could teach this to the damned human race.

Sometimes, knowing you’re not a good person sets you free.

Seeing that someone else isn’t at fault makes you brave.

Learning about someone else gives you a chance to breathe.

I wish I could teach this to the damned human race.

MUSIC

Concert etiquette It's nearing the summer concert season. Let's talk concert etiquette. The behavior of some of concertgoers can ruin the experience of seeing a band. So, here are a few concert pointers:

•

If there is crowd surfing, be willing to catch people. If you're not willing to do this, don't stand there.

•

If there is a mosh pit, try to be aware of what is happening to fellow moshers. If you happen to be standing near where a mosh pit may be forming and you don't want to be in it, move. Do not continually push people in just because you may be getting pushed. You can hurt somebody really badly if you do something like that.

I once had to save a kid from being pushed back into a mosh pit while he was attempting to get out because he couldn't support himself.

•

If somebody falls down in a mosh pit, don't continue moshing over him. Help him up, man! I've had earrings pulled straight out my ear that way, and it is horrible.

Pay attention to how people are pushing and what they look like, because somebody may get seriously injured.

•

If people are jumping and trying to enjoy themselves, don't push them because they jumped on your feet by accident. If you land on somebody's foot, apologize.

•

Be careful while dancing. Whether you're grinding, skanking or just fooling around, please be careful of other people. Dancing is fun, but most people don't go to concerts to get kicked in the shins.

•

Nobody cares if you came for the headline band and you don't like the openers.

Other people might like them. Yelling "YOU GUYS STINK, GIVE US THE GOOD BAND!" is not going to make the headliners come out or make you incredibly popular with your fellow concertgoers. If you really dislike them, talk about it with your friends, but realize that others are trying to enjoy the music.

•

We know it's frustrating when you cannot get through the crowd, but at least say "excuse me" before you push somebody.

•

If you don't know the words, especially at a rap concert, don't sing along. Trust me, everyone will notice.

•

If you must smoke, do it away from others. Concerts are generally crowded and there are a lot of people moving around. You can very easily burn somebody. It's happened to me, and it is not the best experience.

•

Drinks are for drinking, not for dumping on unsuspecting strangers' heads.

Next time you go to a concert, keep all of this in mind. Have fun, but please remember to respect all of the other people who are just trying to have fun too.

Concert Sound Check Guy This guy had better not throw his mic ever again, ever again.

I can’t stand these glamour punk bands. They don’t know how to do anything including playing their instruments and singing. They all suck and they have all those girls hanging all over them.

I’m cute. And I know how to set up a killer sound system.

What does he know how to do besides throwing the freaking mic off of the stage!

Jeez!

Annoying Girls 1,2, and 3 Oh my god! The lead singer is so, so hot! I’m so glad I wore my mini skirt and heels to this concert. Maybe if I dance with my friend he’ll notice me!

Ouch oh my gosh! I can’t believe that that girl in the mosh pit, which by the way, is grosser than gross just stepped on my feet.

I took four hours to get my eyeliner perfect for this show!

Ew look at her. Her hair is all messy.

Your hair needs to be the perfect mix of crimped and straight! Why don’t these girls know anything about anything?

Jeez!

Girl in Mosh Pit Ha! I got her foot! I hate those damn girls! You sweat at concerts!

No need for hours of makeup! Also sweat, if you didn’t realize, is wet!

And wetness makes your hair un-straighten so there is no need to straighten your goddamn hair!

Oh yeah, I almost forgot skanking is for in the pit, not how you dress! I’m the badass punk chick!

Not you with your pretty little MySpace pictures. Look at me with my boyfriend who doesn’t actually like me! Eeee!

Get in the pit! Move a little!

Jeez.

Guy in Band Wow. Look at that, there are girls in the pit. But wow look at those girls. They are so hot.

I love when girls wear mini skirts to concerts. But I also love a girl who can mosh. God they are so hot.

Kinda like that one girl in that one place with the hair that did that thing.

Oh man she was hot. I will never again see a girl with black hair and chucks.

Oh man there’s one! I love original girls.

Punk rock is all about originality. We don’t look alike at all. Oh man all of these girls are so freaking hot! This is great. I’ll throw my mic to impress them.

Wow, all of these girls are hot. But not as hot as me.

Jeez!

Concert Review: New Found Glory Mosh: To knock against others intentionally while dancing at a rock concert.

Mosh pit: The area where people mosh.

This is something that I thought was not going to happen when John Ralston opened the show at the New Found Glory concert at Club Zoo on Oct. 5. Also performing were Cartel and The Early November.

Although Ralston has a refreshingly indie sound and a tambourine (there is nothing cooler than a tambourine!), he got the crowd a little down. With his slow melodies and whiny voice, most people made out with their significant others, talked to each other or just stared blankly at the stage. Although there were a few people who could sing along, Ralston was unable to cut it for the crowd that night.

When Cartel took the stage, you could feel a change in the crowd. Everyone got closer, started jumping, and there was even a mosh pit for one song. Cartel's punk rock sound suited the crowd much better, and you could tell. Their charisma sold the audience, and everybody finally seemed excited to be there.

The Early November was able to bring the concert everyone was waiting for. They got people up and moving, there was a full mosh pit and tons of dancing. The sound of their punk beat pounded through everybody's ears as they played and joked on stage.

People too often get the wrong idea of punk kids at concerts. They are not all moshing and crowd surfing. After The Early November finished playing, while waiting for the next set, they turned on Mariah Carey, Huey Lewis & The News, and even got a mass sing along to "Man! I Feel like a Woman" by Shania Twain. A true spectacle.

When New Found Glory hit the stage, this concert was no longer just a show -- it was the most important thing in the audience's lives! They went straight into their hit "All Downhill from Here" from their 2003 release "Catalyst."

There was pushing to get closer to the stage because it wasn't enough to just hear them and see them -- oh no, we had to smell their sweat. Singing and jumping, the entire crowd was excited to be there.

When guitarist Chad Gilbert got off the stage and walked on the counter, fans crowded around, head-banging and reaching out their hands. Fans got so enthusiastic, they started climbing pillars and jumping off to crowd surf and got kudos from the band.

You could tell that New Found Glory is the kind of band that loves to be together and just play music. They were always smiling and hugging and had an incredible flow with each other, one that you don't always see at concerts, especially of that size.

Front man Jordan Pundik got everybody pumped with his high-pitched squeal of a voice (somehow brought down an octave on their new CD) and kept the crowd cheering all night long.

They ended with crowd favorite "Friends Over You," and fans sang loud and proud and left the concert happy.

New Found Glory has officially made their dent in Pittsburgh.

Victory Lane Oct. 14, 2006 Mr. Small's Theatre, Millvale The lights are low, there are 30 people in the crowd, and the spotlight is on, well, the Steelers flag. A little bit odd for a concert, but we can let it go just this once. After all, what we had come to Mr. Small's to see was The University, Three Sided Circle, Time and Distance, and Isadora opening for Pittsburgh band Victory Lane.

The first band up was The University from Sewickley. With its pop-punk sound, it was doing well on stage. The members didn't have the best stage presence, but with a little bit of practice they would get better. The one weird thing was the guy on stage with the mohawk. He didn't have an instrument, so it was assumed he was the lead singer, but that ended up being the guitarist. It was then assumed that he was the amusing dancer, much like what the Mighty Mighty Bosstones have, but he would dance a little, then go to the back of the stage and get a drink of water. Despite Mohawk Man and the band's bad habit of posing for pictures, The University did a memorable performance.

Next up was Three Sided Circle from Pittsburgh. It was the group's CD release party. Its players did one of the best performances that night. They had a lot of charisma and joked with each other and the audience. Their pop-punk music and adorable personalities helped make the crowd a little happier, and some people even moved a little. Alas, they also had the bad habit of posing for pictures.

Time and Distance took the stage next. Hailing from Charleston, WV, it had a more emo sound. Although decent, it was definitely not the band of the night. The members seemed a little bit rigid on stage, as if they were somewhat uncomfortable to be there. They also had fantastic music, but the vocalist didn't have anything original to bring to the show at all.

Isadora was a refreshingly funny band. Its music had a kind of indie pop-punk feel. The lead singer even gave us the option of getting closer to the stage or making three straight, single-file lines. The crowd did neither. When the members had played their last song, "Digital Dance," and asked if anyone knew it, nobody responded, so they had the crowd pretend they knew it and yell really loud when the lead singer announced it. It was definitely a fun and exciting band that, with a little more tweaking, could probably make it in the big time.

When Victory Lane came out, you could sense a change in the show. It had an air of professionalism. Its players definitely have the ability to go from small-time band to having a larger following. They had incredible stage presence -- they moved around, talked to each other and the audience. And the group was the only band that could get the crowd to sing along and finally warm up to the show. Victory Lane deserves a round of applause and an encore from Pittsburgh.

FAMILY

Kai’s Sunglasses I come out into the sunshine pulling out my huge sunglasses.

Yeah, they are the kind I used to make fun of you for wearing.

I see him. I go and hug him.

Don’t worry, this time I’m not gonna kiss him.

But I do kiss all my friends standing in that dirty alley.

Something you would never be seen doing. I bend over to grab my book bag and I start towards the store.

While water may be your choice I opt for the Diet Dr. Pepper.

I slowly pull my crumpled up bills and massive amounts of change out of my pocket.

I love being unorganized unlike you with your designer purses.

I relish in the anger on Brandon’s face.

It’s part of our charm, isn’t it?

Making that boy upset.

I tell him goodbye and continue.

People yell at me while I’m walking down the street. I glare at them.

Is a short chubby girl with colorful hair really gonna ruin your day?

This is something you would never tolerate but I just turn my music up and keep on walking.

I stare at people and try to figure out their life stories. The same way we used to do. I think that woman is mad at her husband while that man wishes he was a husband.

I laugh to myself and then see my friends.

Our bus comes and we get on.

My life downtown is different than yours. But then again, you were never this happy when you came home from school.

Excerpt from my memoir: Shibby: The Early Years of Madeline Chandler During the winter, the hockey rink in Cleveland was my real home. All four of the Chandler children played hockey so we were always there. We would wake up at five in the morning, my parents usually carrying me, the heaviest sleeper on earth, to the car.

When I was at the rink, I usually hung out with my older brother Vince and his best friend/soul mate, Jayne Malloy.

My parents told us there were very few places we could go in the hockey rink without their accompaniment. Since my mom was a coach and my dad ran the scoreboard, we weren’t allowed to go very many places. But, we never listened.

We spent many winter afternoons running around the outside of the hockey rink playing on the massive dirty-snow hill created by the Zamboni. As we wrestled to the top to win the honor of “King of the Hill” we always checked to make sure that out parents weren’t coming around the bend to catch us red-handed.

On the really cold days, or on the days when my mom threatened us if we left the building, we would do the second best thing: play under the bleachers.

Playing under the bleachers was a difficult thing to achieve. You had to know the perfect place to enter and exit. You had to remember where the cross beams were unless you wanted to get clocked in the head and suffer the incredible headache that followed.

While under the bleachers, the world was ours for the taking. None of the angry old men that muttered under their breath about “these damn kids today don’t know anything” knew that those damn kids were taking revenge on them by tying their shoelaces together.

None of the mothers knew where all of their hockey players’ Twizzlers were going either. It wasn’t our fault that they put their purses on the ground. It was the general consensus amongst my small group that we were really teaching them a lesson because purses should be held closer to the body in case of thievery. Adults should know that.

We always worked together as a team to achieve these goals of revenge and gluttony. Since I was only four and Jayne and Vince were seven, we weren’t very tall.

But with the help of Vince’s undying love for Jayne and the fact that Jayne was a gymnast they were able to stand on each other’s shoulders to retrieve the Twizzlers and to tie the old man’s shoes together.

FILM AND THEATER

Spielberg 49.3 May Hitchcock be with you.

(And also with you.)

Let us pray.

Since 1888 we have been banding together. We all have our favorites. Actors, directors, writers, movies in general. I certainly have mine Actor- Philip Seymour Hoffman. Actress- Jodie Foster. Director- Ethan Coen Writer- Cameron Crowe… or Joel Coen. It’s a tie.

Movie over all- Almost Famous.

Some people prefer going to theaters.

(Down in front!)

Some prefer watching them at home.

(Honey, I can’t take the trash out now it’s the shower scene!)

Some can watch them over and over and over again.

“Harry? Harry? You do not have time to tango, buddy.

You copy?”

(Shut up!)

And some can’t stand watching the same one twice.

(I’ve seen that before.)

And some are just obnoxious about it.

(You’ve never seen this obscure comedy before? Blasphemy!)

Movies mean different things to different people.

Some are indifferent.

(I guess the popcorn is worth it.)

Some are obsessed.

(Shhh! I’m really into this, okay?)

Some only like some parts.

(Yes! He took off his shirt!)

And some just use it as an excuse.

(Mom, I swear I kind of watched the movie.)

Movies are getting better.

(Praise the CGI gods.)

Ratings are getting stricter.

(The MPAA is a savior to parents everywhere.)

Some theaters play tricks.

(I bought the ticket why does the ticket ripper I.D. me?)

Movies you are my life.

(And ours as well! Amen.)

Horror Movie Morals Through out the years horror films have gotten more and more popular. From the cult following of “Night of the Living Dead” to the “Saw” movies, audiences seem to want to be scared. People always challenge filmmakers, saying movies just aren’t scary enough. But is horror really the only part of scary movies? Behind the blood, gore, and psychotic killers there is something else… a moral.

In the “Saw” movies the moral is to appreciate life more; never take anything for granted. This movie franchise has broken box office records and millions of teens go and see it, unaware that they are learning a valuable life lesson. The filmmakers do a good job of hiding the moral in these movies. Everyone pays attention to the gore and the somewhat disturbing relationships between people, but that isn’t everything. Jigsaw explains to people that the things they do hurt not only them but also the people closest to them. If you are lucky enough to know wonderful people, don’t abuse the privilege.

In the “Texas Chainsaw Massacre” movies, hidden deep, deep in the plot there is a moral. First off never go into small towns down South. Second off, treat people the way you want to be treated. As a child, Leatherface was made fun of, his insides torn to pieces. So he cut people’s outsides to pieces. It isn’t all violence and weird families, it’s a classic case of the underdog. He was mocked for so long and now wants to show people how strong he is.

“The Hills Have Eyes” has a somewhat political, but nonetheless effective moral in it. If you hurt people, they will hurt you back. Or, in the movies case, if you drop an atomic bomb on a small town, they will go crazy and start killing people. It makes a statement about government testing and nuclear warfare. It’s unsafe and can hurt people.

The government didn’t take the time out of their lives to warn these people, tell them to get to safety. Now, years later, as mangled messes, they are seeking their vengeance on the people.

The “Scream” movies have a revenge plot line. The moral is looks can be deceiving. You can’t always trust who you want to be able to trust. One of the characters in the movie even explains the classic horror movie mistakes and most of them revolve around being pure. It kind of paints teenagers a picture about what sex, drugs, and alcohol can really do to you.

Although not every horror movie has a moral, next time you go and see one, consider this and see if you can see the message the movie’s makers are trying to purvey to the audience. You may not always be able to find it but it may help you take a look at your character.

'Employee of the Month' Rating: PG-13 for crude and sexual humor, and language.

Dane Cook just happens to be one of the funniest men alive. Likewise, "Employee of the Month" is one of the funniest movies out there.

Zack (Cook) is a slacker box boy who is interested only in having fun and letting other people do all of his work for him. He seems to be set for life, living with his grandmother and hanging out with his three loser friends while messing with the real employee of the month Vince (Dax Shepard), and his adorable companion Jorge (Efren Ramirez, Napoleon Dynamite). That is, until the new checkout girl, Amy (Jessica Simpson), comes along.

She's the type of girl who only wants to date the employees of the month, and he's the type who wants her. Through a mix of thrills and spills, Zack and Vince duke it out for the honor of being "employee of the month" to get the girl.

"Employee of the Month" is very formulaic: nice guy meets girl, fights with bad guy to get girl, abandons all friends, girl finds out what's going on, friends rejoin in the end to beat bad guy, and nice guy wins all. But through all of this, the movie still manages to be funny.

There are many original ideas and characters that make this movie worth seeing. These include selling Vince's car to a customer, the size of Amy's ears, a visually challenged Andy Dick and an adorably stupid security guard (Marcello Thedford).

With physical, politically incorrect and heart-warming comedy, this movie manages to bring it all. It also doesn't have too many immature teenage boy jokes, so even your mom might like it.

Not only is it funny but there are a few "that's so adorable" moments throughout Zack and Amy's blossoming romance. There are also several cute scenes involving Zack and his grandmother that will make your insides feel warm and mushy. By combining good solid comedy and cute romantic gestures with a decent story line, "Employee of the Month" is now on my "movie of the month" list.

'Jackass Number Two' Rating: R for extremely crude and dangerous stunts throughout, sexual content, nudity and language.

I'm not usually one for Jackass. Although the stunts are usually entertaining, so many people try to do them that it's becoming a hazard to many people's health. Let's face it, not many people read warning labels anymore. But this movie was absolute genius.

The boys are back, and they are incredible. Pulling stunts that range from getting punched in the face to being chased down the street by bulls, these guys pull it off like no other.

They even have a musical number (although sung quite badly) that is hilarious.

All of the boys do a great job messing themselves up. Johnny Knoxville is launched on a rocket, fakes a terrorist attack, and puts bees in a limo and locks all of the doors. They hit each other in the face, get shot, brand each other, ride a fire hose as if it was a rodeo bull and tons more.

Only two stunts really made me want to leave the theater -- one involving Steve-O, a leech and his eye; the other involving a horse -- that's about all that can be said without becoming nauseated.

The jokes may seem obnoxious to some crowds, although the movie was fairly funny.

There are gross parts, but there is really nothing better than watching people willingly inflict pain on themselves and their friends in the funniest possible ways they can think of.

They can go a bit too far with some of their jokes, but mostly they stayed within the falling-out-of-your-seat guidelines. They also got many other famous faces involved, including Three 6 Mafia, HIM's Ville Valo, Super Troopers’ Jay Chandrasekhar and Murderball star Mark Zupan.

The biggest disappointment was when Bam Margera said he would French kiss Knoxville if he did a stunt, but then he didn't.

Jackass Number Two was one of the best movies I've seen in years. It proves that you don't need a script to be hilarious.

Ashley and Mary-Kate were easy to love Even though I'm a few years younger than Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen, I grew up watching the twins as the adorable Michelle on the sitcom "Full House."

As a little kid I didn't understand that Michelle was actually played by two different people. My mom would try to explain it to me. I just thought she was insane. How could she possibly be played by two people?

"Me and Ashley feel like we're totally different," Mary-Kate once said during an interview. That's something that always appealed to me -- to see people who look exactly alike be different.

After "Full House" was canceled and the twins had walked away with two awards from the show's eight-year run, they got into other forms of entertainment.

They started doing movies such as "You're Invited to Mary-Kate and Ashley's Sleepover Party." Every girl my age was dying to own their sing-along tapes. Also, the Olsen twins had awesome fashion sense, and some of their videos were centered on clothes. They were older, but everything they did felt like it was directed to me.

My friends and I idolized them. At every birthday party (which at age 8 and 9 means a sleepover) I went to in 1999 we watched "Passport to Paris" and a few years after that we matured to "Winning London." I'm not sure if we liked the Olsen twins in those movies as much as their cute male co-stars.

"Passport to Paris" and others were the perfect teenage movies. The twins were goofy, they were pretty, and they had a lot of different friends. When we were younger, girls and guys didn't really hang out together, but in the Olsen movies they always had guy friends and did fun things.

They returned to TV in 1998 with "Two of a Kind" and then in 2001 with "So Little Time," which still played to the twin humor and Mary-Kate's tomboyish antics and Ashley's prissiness.

Then they started popping up in the tabloids with whatever famous and not-so-famous boy they were dating that month. Sometimes they went to a football game and their hot cocoa was mistaken for beer, which hurt their wholesome image.

When they turned 18 in 2004, all of the men in the world couldn't be more excited. There were countdowns on the Internet, and Howard Stern seemed to talk about it every day.

That year was also the release of their movie "New York Minute," which was a boxoffice bomb, but it was my favorite of all their movies. That may be because it has

Eugene Levy and Simple Plan in it.

In 2004 the two were also enrolled in New York University. They were going to live the real college life in a dorm: but their version was a penthouse that cost them well over $1 million.

Mary-Kate was getting noticeably thinner and thinner. Under the strain of college and fame, Mary-Kate had snapped and done the inevitable. She had become anorexic. There were also rumors of drug use, but her publicist said that was absolutely not true. The same rumors also haunted Ashley.

Mary-Kate left NYU to recover from anorexia and heartbreak. Her Greek boyfriend, Stavros Niarchos III, broke up with her and then began to date Paris Hilton.

The girls have done little in their real lives that I enjoy. They threw their money around.

They pampered themselves. They were famous but didn't seem to do much with their fame.

But I learned while researching this article that they also have done some good things. In 2004 they signed a pledge to allow full maternity leave to all the workers in Bangladesh who sew their line of clothing.

Society wants them to stay adorable, but I want them to show more about who they are.

They seem to be fairly intelligent, up-to-date girls with political minds.

The twins seem to be getting better and pulling their lives together. They recently debuted their adult fashion line at the Council of Fashion Designers of America's 25th anniversary awards ceremony. It's terribly impressive. Their look can be very upscale, even preppy, but you can still funk it out with belts and jackets. They've done a better job appealing to the masses than someone like J-Lo. I wouldn't buy her clothing if you paid me.

For my high school long-term project this year, I studied teen-oriented movies and watched more than 250 of them. Although I've enjoyed many of them, there's still a special place in my heart for the Olsens' movies.

Sometimes it's nice just to get away from the teen movies in which every teenager has sex, smokes pot and goes to keg parties. Either the teenagers are not interested in high school or they're too interested. There's a gray area that's not covered very often in movies, and Mary-Kate and Ashley movies give you a different experience.

They are cheesy, are slightly less realistic, have funny, situational humor instead of sexual humor and are refreshing.

I still love their movies. And I'm not ashamed to admit it.

Edward Scissorhands Ballet Edward Scissorhands is the beloved story of the sweet boy cursed to be an outsider because he has scissors for hands. Created by Tim Burton in 1990, Edward Scissorhands has been a screen favorite for all. You can now see in it a different form in the dance extravaganza by Matthew Bourne.

The show was a dazzling display of dancing, elaborate sets, and gorgeous costumes with few problems taking away from the entertainment.

One of the large problems they had was the lack of attendance. The entire balcony was spread out in clusters of audience members. It was odd to see so few people at a show based on one of the most famous outcast stories of all time. Then again, the Benedum Center has probably never seen such vast amount of punk-rock fans at a ballet before.

Another problem is that for some reason they felt the need to almost always have the entire cast on stage and the story is not an ensemble story. During the Christmas dance you were supposed to be watching two dancers have an argument the entire cast was doing an elaborate and beautiful dance that distracted and took away from the actual story.

Edward Scissorhands is a familiar story but they changed some of it and what was going on wasn’t always completely clear. Many people expected to see the story as it was portrayed in 1990 but there were differences.

Although there was no orchestra to play the music they did have beautiful music, including pieces of the movie’s original score by Danny Elfman.

The costumers all deserve credit for their amazing costumes. One of the most interesting costume choices, since the show is set in the 50s, was jazz shoes made to look like Chuck Taylor’s. The way they were able to capture the time period and essence of the show at once with costuming choices was unbelievable.

Also the sets were amazing. Reminiscent of Burton’s movie they had the all too familiar suburban setting, complete with houses that look exactly the same but in different bright colors, as was all the rage back in the 50s.

Some people may think a dance adaptation of a cult-classic would be boring and difficult to watch, but if the dance world is able to adapt them as well as this one was, then they can adapt as many movies as they want.

Into the Woods Review Steven Sondheim and James Lapine's "Into the Woods" is one of the most entertaining and difficult ensemble musicals ever written. Hampton High School recently attempted and achieved the show with flying colors.

The show is a fabulous musical experience of everyone's favorite childhood fairytales, including Little Red Riding Hood, Jack and the Beanstalk, Cinderella, and Rapunzel, plus an invented tale, The Baker and His Wife. As all of the stories get smashed together, you are pulled into a magical world of love and confusion.

Particularly enchanting was the breath-taking set. The narrator, the old lady who lived in a shoe, sat outside of a wonderfully large shoe. The lights came up on the stage to three large books, which opened up into the houses of the Baker, Jack, and Cinderella. This was an incredible sight to see. It was actually nicer and more useful then some professional sets.

When the houses were moved you were pulled into the woods, a fabulous set with many different levels, which kept the blocking interesting. There was a bridge in the background that wasn't used as often as it could have been but was still intriguing. Few high school sets can be used in so many ways. It made the show much more visually attractive.

Standing out the most was Jack's Mother, played by student vocal director Isabella Coelho. Her voice and acting surpassed all expectations in the small role. She stole all scenes she was in. She seemed to understand a mother's grief and expectations, especially when raising a fatherless son. She also had perfect comedic timing and overplayed nothing.

Rachel Perry as the baker's wife sang wonderfully. She kept the show upbeat and, as one of the more reasonable characters, sincere. She kept an avid maturity beyond her high school years. She also had an incredible and slightly surreal chemistry with her husband, the baker.

As the witch, Melanie Thomas did a fabulous job. Her comedic timing was right on and her singing was perfect. In the first act she crept around, bent over, making the audience feel uneasy and worried for the other characters as she insisted that they find the four items so she could fall back into her past beautiful self.

Dan Petrovich did a hilarious job as the baker. His facial expressions were comical and he seemed to jump right into the character's take on each situation. Even in some of the heavier scenes he was able to keep a realistic and comical demeanor.

Perhaps the most impressive performance though, was that of the cow, Milky White,

played by Andrew Benton. Every time he came out on stage he was bent down and followed every character around just as he was supposed to. Although he had stilts in his costume it was still wonderfully entertaining to watch him wander around the stage mooing.

The dancers were an important part of the show. They never got in the way of anything that was happening up on stage. They intensified every scene they were part of. The choreographer and director deserve a lot of credit for having the dancers be a key part of the story instead of an add-on to include more students.

The show was wonderfully impressive. Every other student did a great job and seemed to genuinely enjoy what they were doing up on stage.

Forget it, Jake. It’s Chinatown.

At rise JACKSON is sitting on a bench with his cell phone out. TESS enters.

TESS Hey, Jackson.

(Aside.)

He is so cute. I don’t care if he’s my best friend’s boy. I want him so bad.

JACKSON Oh, hi, Tess. How are you?

TESS Well, apparently not looking as good as you, but that’s almost impossible.

JACKSON Oh… uhm thanks, Tess.

(Checks cell phone.)

(To audience.)

Erin’s gonna be here soon. She’s my girlfriend. Tess’s “best” friend. Then we’ll put our plan in motion.

TESS You know, Jackson you have really big muscles. Do you work out a lot? Of course you do, I mean, look at you. God, your body is perfect. I know you must be really, really strong. I bet you could take Rocky on.

(She shifts closer to him.)

JACKSON (Moves away.)

I don’t think I could take Rocky on. I mean he’s so strong.

(Tess shifts closer to him. He moves away from her.)

I don’t think I could beat Rocky. Maybe Mr. T but not Rocky.

TESS (Laughs.)

You’re funny. Did you know that? Of course you know that. Looks and a sense of humor all rolled into one. You’re the perfect man.

(Leans forward.)

Jackson, what would you do if I kissed you right now?

JACKSON Buy a lot of mouthwash.

TESS

Excuse me?

JACKSON Come on Tess. You’re one of my best friends and you and Erin are best friends. Do you remember Erin? She’s your best friend who never came onto any guys that you’ve liked.

(Tess leans toward him again.)

She’s your beautiful, smart, best friend.

(Aside.)

A lot smarter than you are. She knew you were going to try and steal me before you did.

TESS Jackson. Shh. This is OK. JACKSON Hey, did I mention that me and Erin… my girlfriend and me. You know, Erin… my girlfriend. We’ve taken our relationship to the next level.

TESS Excuse me? The next level? I thought you and Erin were super 7th Heaven wait until you’re married and stuff.

JACKSON What? Oh, you think we…? No. God no. No. I mean me and Erin said it. Erin and I are officially in love.

TESS Oh, well how Nicholas Sparks of you two.

JACKSON It is. We are very, very happy. I can’t think of anything that can break us up.

TESS (Moves closer.)

I can.

(ERIN enters smiling. Jackson jumps up. Erin looks confused.)

JACKSON Hey Erin. I’m glad you’re here.

ERIN What’s going on here? This has a very weird, vibey, aura, feng shuiness to it.

TESS Erin, we’re in a city-owned park. Nothing here has anything to do with feng shui. That’s

actually why so many kids get hurt. No healthy energy flow.

JACKSON Have I mentioned lately I love you?

(Hugs Erin and glares at Tess behind Erin’s back.)

ERIN Jackson are you okay? You seem to be going completely insane.

JACKSON Insane with love for you.

ERIN Okay, remember how you said the way that Cory on Boy Meets World acts with Topanga kind of freaks you out.

JACKSON Yeah…

ERIN Well, you’re acting like him. What is going on? You two were super close when I came over and… no… Tess…

TESS I didn’t do anything. It’s your skeezeball boyfriend.

JACKSON Excuse me but if anyone is the skeeze here it’s…

ERIN Quit it Jackson. Tess, come with me.

(Erin pulls Tess over to stage right while Jackson sneaks around the stage trying to listen to their conversation.)

Was Jackson putting the moves on you? God, I knew he would do something like this. He only said, “I love you” so I would let my guard down and completely trust him then BAM! starts the cheating. Jackson was supposed to be my Edward and ended up being my Willoughby.

(Sits down on ground.)

TESS Wow, busting out the Jane Austen references. You must be pretty upset.

JACKSON What about Jane Austen?

TESS Go away!

(Sits down next to Erin ) So what are you going to do?

ERIN I don’t know. I just don’t know. I don’t know what I should do. What do you think I should do? You have more experience with guys than I do.

TESS (Big smile spreads across her face.)

Well, maybe you should break up with him. I mean he’s not treating you right. That’s pretty messed up.

(Aside.)

And with you out of the picture I can get Jackson.

JACKSON Did I just hear something about breaking up?

ERIN Yes, go away!

JACKSON But… TESS Goodbye!

(Pushes Jackson and turns to Erin. Jackson gives Erin a thumbs-up sign.

Erin winks at him.)

ERIN (Looking sad.)

Anyways, yeah, I mean it is pretty messed up but does it really mean break up with him?

I mean maybe he’s having his midlife crisis.

TESS Erin he’s 17 not 44. And he’s not buying a motorcycle he is cheating on you.

ERIN I know, but I love him. And he said he loves me. That has to mean something, right?

Because I’m not sure if the two of us breaking up is the right thing for me.

TESS You deserve better than this.

ERIN Do you really think I should break up with him?

TESS Yes! ERIN Why are you so eager for me to do this? You always told me that Jackson was perfect for me and I’d be crazy to ever consider dumping him.

(Aside.)

I am such a good actress.

TESS He’s cheating. Carrie Underwood would totally approve of what we are doing.

ERIN We? TESS Yes we. We’re like the hotter versions of Paris and Nicole.

JACKSON I think Paris and Nicole are pretty freaking hot…

ERIN Exactly why you’re not. Go away.

(Aside.)

I hope Jackson isn’t taking this too far.

TESS Anyways so you’re Nicole and I’m Paris.

ERIN Oh well, that is wonderful. Why don’t we get Joel Madden to come be my boyfriend and my cheesy dramatic life will be perfectly balanced.

TESS But then you would have to be pregnant.

ERIN And how would that look on facebook?

TESS Exactly. So are you gonna break up with him?

ERIN Yeah I think so. Can you stay over here while I do it? I don’t want him to feel like we’re trying to outnumber him.

(Tess nods.)

Here goes.

(Stands up and walks over to Jackson. Tess pretends to not listen. Jackson and Erin are exaggeratedly loud.)

Jackson, I think we need to talk about us.

JACKSON Goody.

ERIN Jackson quit acting like this. This is all your fault. If you didn’t go throwing yourself at any girl you see then this wouldn’t be happening.

JACKSON I don’t throw myself at any girl I see.

ERIN Oh, so you put thought into this? That makes it way better. Thanks for that little tidbit.

JACKSON Erin, you know I only throw myself at you.

ERIN God why didn’t Cameron Crowe think of that line for Jerry Maguire. It’s so much better than “You had me at hello.”

JACKSON Stop being ridiculous Erin. Take a second to think about this. You know me. You trust me. You love me. Don’t do this.

ERIN I’m doing it. Goodbye Jackson.

(Aside.)

That was so good. Me and Jackson were so good. Tess is gonna get it.

(Walks away past Tess. Tess stares at Jackson happily. Erin does a big wink that Tess doesn’t notice. Jackson winks back.)

JACKSON (Loudly.)

This is such a major bummer. I was really into her.

TESS (Walks over to Jackson.)

Jackson, I know this is really sad and all but you know, something good can come of this.

JACKSON Oh yeah, like what?

TESS Me and you. I’ve been looking at you for a while now. You’re really cute and I’m really pretty and it just makes sense that we would try to make something happen.

JACKSON You know, that’s actually a really good idea.

(Aside.)

Worst idea ever.

TESS Huh? JACKSON I think you’re right. After Erin the only plausible person to date next is you. Let’s date.

Be my girlfriend.

TESS (Stares at him.)

(To the audience.)

Why is this so easy?

JACKSON I love you.

TESS What? What are you talking about, Jackson?

JACKSON Exactly what I’m saying. I love you.

TESS Jackson, we’ve known each other forever. But, that doesn’t mean love in this sense.

JACKSON For us it does. We’re meant to be together.

TESS (To audience.)

I wanted him to want me but to love me. No way.

(To Jackson.)

Why are you doing this? We’re young.

JACKSON You flirted with me to break up me and Erin. I thought that meant love. But, I guess me and Erin were right.

(Pulls out his cell phone and texts something.)

Erin’s coming back.

TESS Why is Erin coming back?

(Stands up.)

Okay, Jackson what the hell is going on here?

JACKSON I’ll tell you when Erin gets here.

TESS No Jackson, you will tell me now. After all I have gone through.

(Erin enters but Tess doesn’t notice her.)

Erin is one of my best friends and I just stole her boyfriend. You don’t just call a girl up after her best friend does that.

ERIN Exactly. You’re a retard.

TESS When did you get here?

ERIN I never left.

(Aside.)

I love the girl but she’s a little dumb.

TESS What do you want?

ERIN To tell you to stop messing with people. They are in relationships for a reason. Stop trying to rip them apart. I knew you’d eventually go for me and Jackson.

TESS Is this like an intervention?

JACKSON Basically.

TESS Guys why are you interventing on my life?

ERIN That’s not a word.

TESS And what I do with my personal life is not a problem. I don’t do drugs or drink or skip school. I just have an active social life.

ERIN That’s what some people call it.

JACKSON Tess. Erin and I have known you forever and a day plus some and we are your friends.

We are just worried about you and your reputation and who you are changing into.

TESS I’m not changing into anything. I’m myself. I’m the same Tess that there has always been.

ERIN Well, it’s good that I’ve finally learned that my best friend is a crazy, obsessive, selfish, boy friend stealing no good loser.

TESS Excuse me?

ERIN If this is how you’ve always been then you’ve done a super freaking duper good job of hiding it.

TESS Why don’t you chill out? I am having fun and that is what being a teenager is all about.

That and about 987 standardized tests. I know that I am a little open with guys but so what.

ERIN You’re not a little open, you’re super open. I’m worried.

TESS I’m not too open. Maybe you’re just not open enough.

(Aside.)

Watch this. Jackson never saw this coming.

ERIN

What do you mean?

TESS What if we share Jackson?

ERIN Excuse me? Share my boyfriend?

TESS Yeah, it could be fun. Hanging out all three of us might be weird but it’d be fun.

ERIN We are not going to share my boyfriend. Jackson wouldn’t do it anyways. Right, Jackson?

JACKSON Uhm, yeah. Exactly. Absolutely. I would… totally… uh never wanna… yeah.

TESS Jackson, don’t you think that’d be nice. A commitment, but with two girls, who are totally okay with it.

JACKSON That does sound kind of nice.

ERIN Excuse me?

JACKSON Just think about it, Erin. It could be fun.

ERIN No way. Jackson this could ruin our chances of ever taking our relationship anywhere.

TESS Erin, you’re in high school. There is absolutely no guarantee that this relationship will go anywhere. Do you really think you’re going to get married?

JACKSON Exactly Erin. If you’re okay with this then I think we should try it.

ERIN Well I think…

JACKSON Yeah?

ERIN I think that was just too easy. Tess, I’m glad we tried this. This showed me a little bit about my boyfriend.

TESS I know. I can’t believe what I had to go through for all of this though. Hooking up with all those boys. Some of them were gross too.

JACKSON Wait, what?

ERIN We wanted to see if you would always stay true to me.

JACKSON Excuse me? Are you serious?

TESS Yeah. I seriously made out with Ryan Henney. I am ashamed.

ERIN Did you really think I would let you date another girl while you were with me? Especially my best friend?

JACKSON I thought it was worth a shot.

ERIN Well you were wrong. I hope you learned a lesson from this.

JACKSON Yeah I have. That we’re over.

ERIN What? But Jackson come on, it’s not that serious. Please think about this!

JACKSON Forget it Jake, it’s Chinatown.

ERIN What does that mean?

JACKSON It’s over.

(Jackson walks away.)

TESS Erin, I’m sorry but… he’s too cute to not hook up with. Jackson! Wait up!

(Tess runs after Jackson.)

ERIN Wow, that’s really not how that was supposed to go.

BLACKOUT

SCHOOL

Krissy and Chris My teacher sat him next to me. I will not sit next to him. He dresses so weirdly. I bet he’s in a gang.

I can not sit next to him.

I can’t sit next to that girl.

I hate some teachers. They think they can put me wherever they want. I’m not sitting next to some white girl.

I won’t be able to focus in class. She hasn’t moved me yet.

I won’t pass the class. If I don’t pass the class I won’t get into college. If I don’t get into college it will be all his fault.

I bet he doesn’t even know what college is.

I think she thinks I’m stupid. I have gotten straight As for my entire life.

I bet she just hangs out at the mall all the time trying to figure out if she can dye her hair any blonder.

What if he tries to shoot me? We’re reading a book about slavery. He glares at me every day. I can’t sit next to him anymore. Why can’t they move me?

We’re reading about slavery.

She looks at me every day. We are 200 years past this. We need to learn about it for the common good. Ignorant girls.

He’s left-handed. I have never met a person who is left-handed. I wanted to ask him about it. Then I remembered who he is.

Her hair is so straight. It always falls back into one position.

Straight and long and down to her shoulders. None of my friends have hair that does that. They usually just pull it back.

The only earrings that anyone I know wears are gauges. He doesn’t wear gauges. He wears earrings and they are big and diamonds. I wonder if they’re heavy. My earrings aren’t, but mine aren’t nearly that big. I can’t focus in class because of that big diamond. He’s gonna make me fail.

She stares at me all of the time. I don’t want her staring at me. She’s probably trying to find some dumb rumor to start about me. Every day right before the bell rings she does the same thing. She checks her makeup, fixes her hair, and puts lip gloss on. She’s probably doing it so when she goes out in the hall she can prove she’s the prettiest.

I talked to him today. He asked me “what’s good?” I think that means “what’s up?” God, he’s so weird. I wanted to ask him what he meant but instead I just glared at him. I can’t talk to him.

I tried to be nice to her. But she proved to me exactly what I already knew. White girls think they’re better than everyone else.

I can’t believe I thought she was intriguing. She’s so predictable.

I am so scared to talk to this person.

Cheater’s Lament Physh was sitting on the wall, waiting for his girlfriend, Hailey. It wasn’t something he especially liked doing. It made him feel like they were in too much of a… relationship. He saw her coming down the hallway with this popular girl named Meghan.

He wasn’t particularly fond of her. He didn’t really like any of the popular people.

“Hey, baby!” Hailey said coming up and kissing him on the cheek. The cheek?

Seriously? He felt cheap.

“Hey, you. Hey, Meghan,” Physh said sheepishly.

“How are you, Physh?” Meghan asked with her annoyingly bright smile. Physh always felt awkward next to her. She wasn’t the popular type. She shouldn’t be so popular.

“I’m good. My dog is in the vet though, and I think I cracked my kneecap today in gym during dodge ball. It hurt pretty bad. My sister wouldn’t let me in the bathroom this morning, something about uncooperative bangs. I also have a hole in my shoe, which I successfully found out this morning when I stepped outside into the rain,” Physh said.

He stared at Hailey shaking her head with a big smile on her face and realized he had been babbling.

“Holes in your shoes suck. But hey, I gotta go. I’ll see you guys later, okay?’

Meghan said. She waved goodbye and walked away.

“How do you get along with people like that?” Physh asked as he slid his arm around Hailey’s waist.

“I don’t know Babble McBabblester. I just get along with people. It’s in my genes. I know that you’re just mad because your only friend is me. I know that I am awesome but come on bud, span out a little!” Hailey said with a laugh. Physh couldn’t help but remembering the Hailey he had asked out. She was smart and funny and stuck to people she knew were real. But now, she seemed to be getting all caught up in the excitement of being popular.

“Yeah, yeah, real funny,” Physh said. He suddenly felt absolutely no reason to be hanging out with Hailey right now.

“Murphy Shea! Be nice! Right now! What is up today? You’re being grumpy and frankly, I don’t appreciate it!” Hailey said with an angered expression on her face. Physh looked down at Hailey’s face and was overtaken with guilt.

“I’m sorry, baby! I’ve just been having a tough time in school. Haven’t been doing well in Earl’s class and it’s been pissing me off. I’m usually good in English.

Shouldn’t be takin' my anger out on you. I apologize,” Physh said then kissed Hailey on the forehead.

“It’s okay, I guess. You stupid ass,” she said. She started giggling and he knew he was home free.

“Come on, I’ll help you with some vocab words.” Hailey grabbed his hand and they were on their way.

Two hours later, they were sitting in her dining room. Physh was still on his original glass of Root Beer and Hailey had already refilled her glass of water six times.

“I hated Gatsby. Why do I need all the useless words from it?” Physh asked

Hailey.

“Because it is required reading. And since we have to read it, Earl has to test us on it. And since he has to test us on it, then we have to learn it. Since we have to learn it, we have to study it. Since we have to study it, we are sitting here with flash cards. Just do it! Plus, I liked The Great Gatsby,” Hailey said, annoyed.

“Why do you like it?” Physh asked. He loved to get in a good discussion about books he hated, especially when it meant he didn’t have to study for a stupid vocabulary test.

“Because it’s like a soap opera in book form. He’s married to her but doing her and killing him and paying him and she is doing him AND him. It’s hilarious,” Hailey explained. Hailey loved watching soaps. Any kind. As the World Turns, The OC, Soap, Degrassi, absolutely anything.

“But you know that he is going to die at the end. He’s not the narrator. As soon as that was established, I lost all interest ‘cause I knew the big bad ending,” Physh said, “You are no fun. But, we really need to focus. Okay, so extemporizing?” Hailey asked. Physh was hoping this distraction would have dragged on longer.

“No longer temporary?” Physh asked.

“No. Where in God’s name did you get that definition?” Hailey asked looking amazed.

“Uh, the word ex is at the beginning…”

“Yeah, it is the prefix. So what?” Hailey asked.

“Temporizing? Tempor, temporary. It’s like the same thing,” Physh said matterof-factly. It made perfect sense to him.

“All hail the King of Bullshit,” Hailey said.

“Whatever, no need to be sarcastic. What’s the word mean?” Physh asked trying to look hurt. A good make-out session was the perfect distraction from schoolwork.

“Stop trying to get in my pants. I don’t like you right now. Extemporizing means improvising. You just extemporized your answer because you didn’t know what the word meant!” Hailey explained.

“All right, got ya. Next word?” Physh said, realizing he should just give in or else Hailey would just get angry.

“Infinitesimal,” Hailey said holding up the flash card.

“Going on forever and ever and ever and ever,” Physh said, thinking he had finally gotten something right.

“No. It means really small,” Hailey said sounding a little annoyed.

“Damn. I suck so incredibly bad. Why can’t I get these?” Physh said.

“You have to actually learn them. You won’t just know them because you want to know them,” Hailey said looking at him seriously.

“Alright, alright, I will work harder. It’s not like I’m not trying. These are just the answers that make sense to me,” Physh said, beginning to get a little upset.

“Come on, just try. It’s really simple. Stop for a second, think about what the word means, and then make your guess. I guarantee it will work better, okay?” Hailey said putting her hand on his cheek. She kissed him quickly and held up a card that said “benediction”.

“Benediction. Oh, I think it has something to do with church. They always say that before we drink the wine and stuff. I think it’s like giving thanks or like being happy

that you’re blessed…?” Physh said slowly.

“Exactly! It’s giving thanks or a blessing,” Hailey said excited. She leaned in and gave him a long kiss.

“Is that what I get for getting them right?” Physh asked excited.

“Yes, it is,” Hailey said with a smile.

“Well that is a pretty bomb award,” Physh said, “next word?” Hailey held up a card that said, “rent”.

“Oh, oh I know what that means. It’s like if you are paying money to use a space owned by a different person,” Physh said feeling confident. He was finally starting to get the hang of vocabulary.

“Well, that is a definition but it’s not the definition. The definition that I’m looking for with this word is the past tense of “rend”, which means to tear something apart violently,” Hailey said looking a little anxious, as if she was scared of making Physh angry.

“Why do you look like that? It’s not your fault that I didn’t get the word right.

That’s the point of studying,” Physh said as he reached his hand out and put it on her cheek.

“Alright, good. I was worried you were gonna blow up at me,” she said kissing his hand.

“No, we’re good,” Physh said.

“Good,” Hailey said with a smile.

“Now, let’s get back to studying useless words that I will never ever use for the rest of my life.”

Physh spent the rest of the week studying his vocabulary. He was pretty confident, but kept on messing up words like “supercilious” and “languidly”. He and Hailey were outside one day playing basketball in his backyard.

“Oh, you missed again!” Hailey said with a sly smile.

“Come on, can’t we just play the game? Physh asked, his body drooping. “I am so tired of this. I am desperate for some not school workness.”

“Nope. Miss a shot gotta answer a vocab question. I am making you a better athlete and a better student all at the same time. Check that talent out!!” Hailey said as she reached into her pile of vocabulary cards sitting on the picnic table in Physh’s backyard.

“Ahem. Ceaselessly?” She said with a raised eyebrow.

“Not stopping, continuous,” he said with an angry look on his face.

“You’re right. But, uh, what’s wrong?” Hailey asked staring at him.

“I am tired of studying! This is all complete bullshit! I hate school and I hate this book! You are my girlfriend! We should be doing other things! Not learning stupid words like “corpulent”!” Physh screamed. There was spit coming out of his mouth and he could feel his face get redder and redder in anger.

“Oh? Other things? Other things? Well, I am so sorry that we aren’t having sex right now. Since that is obviously the most important part of our relationship!” Hailey said throwing the flashcards everywhere.

Physh looked around his yard covered in white index cards and at his now fuming

girlfriend.

“Hailey, I didn’t mean it. I’m sorry. I was talking about watching movies or something. You know I care about you,” Physh said trying to take her hand.

“Murphy Bryan Shea, you are a complacent asshole,” Hailey said angrily. She picked up her book bag and walked towards the gate.

“What does complacent even mean?” Physh yelled after her.

“It is one of your vocabulary words, you idiot!” She yelled at him angrily. She walked out of the gate slamming it so hard behind her that she broke the bolt.

Physh kicked the stand of the basketball hoop. The pain shot up through his leg but he didn’t care. He kept kicking it until there was a substantial dent and then walked into the house.

On Wednesday, he was walking to English class. It was the day of his vocabulary test. He glanced up and saw Hailey walking with some friends.

“Hey Hailey! Wait up!” he said jogging over to her.

“Hello Murphy,” she said with an angry expression on her face.

“So, I have been trying to call you. I’ve texted you. IMed you. Emailed. Written notes. Left comments on your Facebook wall. I’ve also left stuff on your MySpace page.

I’ve messaged you on both. Everything short of stalking you,’ Physh said. He knew he was babbling but so many of her friends were standing around.

“So?” Hailey said. All of her friends were glaring at him.

“So, I think we need to talk. Real quick, please?” Physh said earnestly.

“Okay, talk.”

“Can we talk somewhere more, uh, private? You know just us. I’m not completely comfortable with being outnumbered like this,” Physh said.

“Fine, let’s go,” Hailey said grabbing his hand. They walked over to a corner of the hallway and stared at each other.

“Uh, so,” Physh said nervously a minute later.

“I really have to get to class,” Hailey said turning away from him and walking away. She stopped and turned back around, “Good luck on your vocabulary test by the way.” After that she turned around and walked away.

“Yeah. Good luck,” Physh said to himself as he walked down the hall to his class.

When he got to class, Physh nervously looked around. He wasn’t sure how much he knew. He suddenly felt as if the room was very small.

“Mr. Shea, are you okay?” Mr. Earl, his teacher, asked.

“Yeah, yeah. Just nervous,” Physh said crossing his arms trying to act like nothing was wrong.

“Well, if you studied then you should be fine, so hopefully, you have studied,” Mr. Earl said. He walked to the front of the class and began talking about academic dishonesty. Physh stared at the ground and with a sudden surge of sureness grabbed the index cards out of his book bag and stuck them up the sleeve of his hoody.

“Alright everyone, it’s time to split up. Who wants the seat in the back by the window?” Mr. Earl asked. Physh looked back at the seat and immediately put his hand up. It was facing away from the teacher. It was perfect.

“All right Mr. Shea, the table is yours,” Mr. Earl said. As everyone else got seats Physh picked up his stuff and moved to the back table. Everything was finally shaping up to be a successful day for him and he could not be happier. Mr. Earl came around and gave everyone lined paper and a list of the vocabulary words.

“The directions for this test are as follows: For each word you must write one sentence. You may use two vocabulary words in the same sentence but it will only count for one of them. There are 27 words. I expect 27 sentences. The sentences should be full sentences. If one of the words was ‘angry’ then you could not use the sentence ‘She was angry.’ You would use a sentence such as, ‘She was angry because her mom threw away her favorite pair of jeans.’ Everyone got it?” Mr. Earl asked. He stared around the class as a few kids nodded. “Good. All right so, you have 40 minutes. Go.” Mr. Earl put his hands behind his back and started walking around the class looking for students using “academic dishonesty.”

Physh sat at the table nervously looking over the test. He felt as if he knew all of these words. “Feigned”. He missed 3 baskets with that one. He knew it. But for some reason he didn’t feel completely sure or confident. He slipped his hand into his hoody sleeve and pulled out the flash cards.

He sat at the table looking around for his teacher, terrified of getting caught. Mr. Earl sat down at his table and started grading some papers. Physh saw this as his chance and turned towards his test, putting the flashcards in his lap. He flipped through them and started writing out sentences for all of them.

He mixed up two or three of the words making it look like he wasn’t cheating.

Mr. Earl would think something was up if Physh actually got everything right. When Physh was done he acted like he was still working. He waited until most of the class was finished before he turned in his paper, he didn’t want to look suspicious.

At lunch Physh walked over to Hailey’s table. After the test he felt so confident that nothing could bring him down.

“Hailey, come here. It’s time for a real talk,” Physh said grabbing her by the arm.

“Ow, Physh! Stop! You’re hurting me,” Hailey said grabbing at his hand. Physh immediately let go.

“Sorry. I think I’m just a little too excited about this,” Physh said, rubbing the part of her arm he had been grabbing.

“What do you want?” Hailey asked. She hadn’t shrugged his hand off yet. He saw this as a good sign.

“This needs to end. It’s silly. Let’s start over. You, me, Saturday night. We can watch Mean Girls twelve times if that’s what you want,” Physh said.

“I’m not sure if it’s that easy, you said some pretty mean things to me. Things that you’ve apparently been bottling up for a while now. Saturday morning. Starbucks. One hour. We will talk things over. If we come to a good conclusion that we can hang out on Saturday night, okay?” Hailey said. Physh thought she was being reasonable.

“Alright, sounds good. I’ll see you on Saturday morning. 11 AM?” Physh asked.

Hailey nodded and Physh smiled at her. At that moment over the PA system came a list of kids being called to the office. His name was amongst them.

“Wonder what that’s for. See you later?” Physh said. Hailey nodded and Physh

went down to the office.

“What’s going on?’ he asked the receptionist.

“Saturday detention,” she said staring down at her desk.

“What can I possibly have it for? I haven’t broken any rules. I’m never late,” Physh asked curiously.

“Says here you have a referral for academic dishonestly. It’s from Mr. Earl. Sign here and put a parent’s number next to it,” she said holding out a sheet. Physh stared at it.

How did Mr. Earl possibly find out? He signed the paper and walked out of the office towards his English class.

“Mr. Earl, what kind of academic dishonesty do I have?” Physh asked as he walked in.

“Hello Murphy. You know what I saw today during the test. Frankly, you’re lucky that all you got was Saturday detention and an F on the test. Your parents will be contacted. This could have ended much worse. Don’t argue with me about it. Academic dishonesty is a very serious offense. I will not tolerate it in my classroom,” Mr. Earl said, looking at Physh with a serious expression.

“Mr. Earl! This isn’t fair! I mean, let me make it up to you. New test, new questions. I’ll get all of them right!” Physh pleaded. He didn’t want his parents to know he cheated.

“You should have studied before,” Mr. Earl said calmly.

“I studied for your stupid test! My girl friend and I broke up because of this stupid test! I did it all. I just couldn’t fail again!” Physh yelled kicking a desk. Mr. Earl just stared at him, shaking his head.

“Just go to the detention and this can all be forgotten. It will be okay. I will not improve your grade but I may give you an opportunity for you to improve your grade.”

“Do I have to have detention? I… I have a date. I need this to happen!” Physh said, hoping against hope Mr. Earl had a heart.

“I’m sorry, I can’t do that. It is not fair. You need to be punished for this. I’m sorry. Now, if you will excuse me I have some tests to grade,” Mr. Earl said, turning to his desk.

Physh knew the conversation was over. Now he had to go find Hailey. She was not going to like this.

“Alright, so it’s like this. I have Saturday detention this weekend. Can we reschedule for like, one in the afternoon?” he asked Hailey as soon as he found her.

“What can you possibly have detention for? You’re like three hours early every single day!” Hailey said looking at him with the most serious expression he had ever seen.

“Well, I kind of got caught cheating on my vocabulary test today. Mr. Earl gave me detention for academic dishonesty or some bullshit like that,” Physh said.

“Physh! You know those words! Why would you do that? That is the stupidest and most immature thing that you have ever done!” Hailey said, her face turning red.

“You know I hate cheaters. You know I’ve had issues with it in the past. I’ve told you about it. I thought you were better than this. Apparently I was mistaken. I’m sorry Physh, but I can’t deal with this right now.” And with that Hailey turned around and walked

away.

Physh stared after her, experiencing the deepest regret ever. This was not what was supposed to happen.

That day when Physh got home his parents were waiting for him in the kitchen.

He sat down at the table and folded his hands, waiting for them to start yelling at him.

They sat there in silence until Physh’s mom finally spoke.

“Why did you do it? You and Hailey were practicing the vocabulary. I saw you guys doing it. I made you snacks. You seemed to know the words. I don’t understand why you would see cheating as a sensible answer to any problem. Do you know that this will stay on your permanent record? What college will take a kid who cheated on something as trivial as a vocabulary test? You have done some pretty stupid things in your life but this just beats them all. You are smarter than this. You are capable of doing the work, so why not just do it?” Physh’s mom asked. Physh just sat at the table in silence, letting his parents rant.

“Don’t you have anything to say for yourself?” Physh’s dad asked.

“Nothing that would sound logical. I don’t know why I did it. I just panicked. I couldn’t get a bad grade on this test. I had to make sure I did well. It was the only thing I could think of to do! I didn’t want to disappoint you guys by getting a bad grade in my English class and that seemed to be where I was heading,” Physh said then leaned back in his chair and stared in his hands. His parents looked at each other with knowing looks in their eyes.

“Murphy, you are grounded until further notice. You will show us every English assignment before you turn it in. We have talked to your teacher and he will be taking off points. He might give you extra credit depending on how you conduct yourself the next few weeks. You will not be getting suspended though, understood?” his mother asked.

“Yes ma’am,” Physh said sadly. He got up and left the table. He could hear his parents talking about him as he walked up the stairs to his room.

He sat down on his bed and started doing his work. He worked in silence for the next two hours and walked downstairs. He handed his parents all of his homework and wandered out into the backyard.

Physh grabbed a basketball and started shooting hoops, calling out vocabulary words every time he missed. He knew the definition to every single one.

Cheater’s Retribution Marty sat up on his couch, realizing that he hadn’t done his chemistry homework again. This was the second time this week. He sat there, considering making his move and going for the book bag. But then, he decided that he just didn’t feel like doing it.

Two hours later, he finally got up from the couch to go upstairs to bed. After he brushed his teeth, he hopped into bed, pulling his red plaid comforter over him. He sat up,

considering which girl he could ask to let him copy his homework.

After a while, Marty had it down to three girls. There was Mary, who he hadn’t hooked up with in a while but wanted to. There was Lisa, who he had never hooked up with. She was all about staying friends. Maybe this could help her realize that real friends kiss. There was also Danielle, a girl he hooked up with a lot and was easy to get things out of. Ten minutes later, he settled on Danielle and fell asleep.

The next morning he woke up at five thirty, groaning at the world in general. He got out of bed and threw on some clothes. He wore basically the same thing everyday, a pair of really nice jeans that look ratty and a long sleeved shirt with a t-shirt over it. He always wore a hoody so he could offer it to some poor defenseless cold girl. It worked like a charm every time.

He walked out of his house and down a few streets until he got to his bus stop. He waited there a few minutes with his ear buds stuck firmly into his ears, listening to his iPod. When the bus came, he got on and scanned the seats for Danielle. Marty was fond of her. She was one of his go-to hookup girls. She came to many of his and his friends’ parties, and if there wasn’t a new girl to make out with then she was the one.

“Hey you,” he said sweetly, sitting down next to her. He was proud of his ability to have friends like this; girls who were comfortable enough with themselves to hook up with him a lot. They never made a big deal out of it. Danielle also never labeled it. She never asked him for a relationship or to be lame friends with benefits. She was perfectly content with their relationship, and that pleased Marty.

“Hi Marty. Any good parties this weekend?” she said with a big smile. She looked perfect today. Her hair was up, which he loved, and she had on one of the shortest skirts he had ever seen. And heels. Short skirts and heels were one of his major turn-ons.

“Maybe a few. But I wanted to ask you a question. See, I had this major problem last night. I was sitting there, really taking in the news. I was concerned about all of those dying children in Antarctica or whatever and I totally spaced on my homework,” he said, trying to work his boyish charm. He was using one of his favorite tricks: making pretend goof ups like not knowing where bad things are happening.

“Oh really, were you?” she asked with a smile.

“Yes, I was. And you know, I was thinking maybe you wanted to come to Zack’s party with me this weekend.”

“Could I go to the party with you and not give you my geometry homework?” she asked slyly.

“I need your chem homework, babe,” he said.

“What about the party?”

“What kind of guy do you think I am?” he said moving in on the seat.

She was pushed against the wall and their legs were starting to get tangled. She started to blush a little. Marty knew he was going to get exactly what he wanted. Making a girl feel like she was the only thing he wanted was one of his main talents. Marty was good at it. He knew every trick in the book.

“The kind of guy that will only take you if you give him your homework.”

“Exactly,” Marty said with a smile.

“Here,” she said with an accusing glance but he knew he had won her over with incredible amount of charm.

When they got to school, he quickly got off the bus and into school. The metal detectors slowed him down a bit. Stupid freshmen, of course.

He ran upstairs to the second floor and sat in the area where him and all of his friends sat. He enjoyed this spot, a lot of girls had to walk past.

He sat down and quickly began copying down all of Danielle’s answers. He wasn’t thinking about what was written there and was certainly not learning anything about chemistry.

“Dude, do you have the homework?” he heard a voice ask. He looked up to see his friend Chris suddenly standing above him.

“Which homework?” Marty asked barely looking up. He only had two problems to finish and didn’t want the bell to interrupt his schoolwork.

“I need the chem homework, dude! Miranda decided that she really, really needed to accuse me of being some asshole cheater last night so I didn’t do the homework so I could keep my girl friend. Tell them that you love them and they just start getting suspicious,” Chris ranted.

“You’re acting like I care, yo. Wait a minute and you can copy Danielle’s,” Marty said as he scribbled answers down. Marty wasn’t comfortable hearing about Chris’ love life. Marty longed for love with one specific girl but she just didn’t seem to be going for him...

“You little pimp, you. Convincing her to let you do whatever you want. I wish I had that power,” Chris said looking sheepish. Chris had gone for one of the more unpopular girls thinking she would be grateful for his attention. Marty was unsurprised when the girl turned out to be a total psycho.

“Oh, come on dude. I thought you were in love or some junk,” Marty said with his most coy smile. He knew that Chris was glad to have someone.

“Shut up, dude. I am in love… with the action.”

“Yeah, you say that. But I bet that you guys usually just snuggle. Here, have the homework.”

Marty handed him the homework and looked up towards the ceiling. He was so happy and content with his life. Nothing bad could happen.

He had good grades with out trying. Teachers believed him to be so charismatic and truthful that they never doubted him. He was able to bullshit himself out of any situation.

Many times he had been scared he might get caught but teachers always seemed to shrug things off. It was how he had gotten started with this whole thing. One night, he had just been unable to do the work and told his teacher that. The teacher told him it was okay and after that it just became a thing of habit. Homework just didn’t seem that important anymore.

Marty loved teacher/student relationships in high school. They were the same as the social ladder that him and his friends encountered every day.

The teachers wanted to be popular so they were nice to the kids that they believed mattered. While some may reach out to the freaks most tend to love the cool kids. That desire to be popular is something that lasts a lifetime.

“Boo-boo, what you lookin so serious about?” Marty looked up to see his best friend Meghan.

“I was just thinking about how ridiculous school and teachers are,” he said with a smile. Meghan is the one girl he had never hooked up with and had always wanted to.

Actually, Marty always felt as if she was the one girl he could be in a relationship with.

But, Meghan knew Marty’s way with the ladies. She fully trusted him as a best friend but never as a boyfriend. Marty understood why, but had still never gotten over his feelings for her.

“While this is always wildly interesting to me the bell is about to ring so let’s get to English class,” she said grabbing his hand.

“Yes ma’am,” he said excitedly.

The two of them made their way down the hallway talking about everything and anything.

“Crap!” Marty suddenly yelled.

“Oh my God, doomsday what?” Meghan yelled.

“I forgot to get Danielle’s paper back from Chris. I need to go get it,” he said turning around. Meghan grabbed his wrist.

“Hey idiot, Chris is in our first period class. You can get it back from him then.

Jeez, don’t have a mental breakdown!” she said laughing.

“Oh yeah, thanks. Don’t know how I forgot that one,” he said sheepishly as the two continued making their way to their English class.

That night Marty once again sat up in bed because he had once again not done his chemistry homework. He decided to go for a different girl this time. It was time to bust out his charisma all over Lindzie.

The next morning he found Lindzie at her locker, fixing her makeup.

“Hey there, beautiful. Why are you using that makeup to cover that beautiful face?” he said trying to use his best flirting skills.

“What do you want?’ she asked seeing right through him.

“Chem homework. Forgot to do it,” he said putting his arm around her shoulder.

She reached into a binder and pulled out a piece of paper with factor labels all over it.

“Here you go,” she said.

“Thanks, I love you!” Marty said with a big smile.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. You owe me big time mister,” she said closing her locker and walking away. He noticed her shaking her hips a little bit more than necessary and knew he still had her in the bag.

After copying her homework, he continued on to gym. He didn’t have chemistry until third period so he was able to lend out her homework to a few of his friends. Marty always made a point to look after his boys.

Marty was sitting in his house watching Arthur one day after school when his phone rang. He rolled over and with his toe knocked the phone down onto the couch. He scooted it towards him and picked it up.

“Hello?” he said.

“Hey Marty, it’s Meghan. What are you up to?” she asked.

“Not much, just watching some TV,” he said. He reached over and got the remote and turned the volume down.

“Do you want to come over and work on that take home trig test? It’s killer and both of us need good grades in that class.”

“Well, I have most of it done already. I’ve been working with some other people,” Marty answered as he scratched the back of his right ankle with the big toe of his left foot.

“Have you actually been working with other people or have you been copying off of them?” Meghan asked.

“No need to be critical. You copy all of the time in physics, remember? You told me. I like school so much more this way. It’s so much simpler. I like being there now.

My life is so much easier after school now. I don’t have as much to do. I just chill out. I watch TV; I go on Facebook and MySpace. It’s awesome,” Marty said. He turned the TV up so he could hear it in the kitchen and went to make a cheese sandwich.

“Marty, that is the most ridiculous thing ever. You need to do work in one of your classes. You can’t ease through high school not doing any of your work. One class is fine, maybe two. But every single one of your classes? That is just a ridiculous amount!”

Meghan said irritably. Marty spread mustard onto his bread and put bread-and-butterpickles on.

“Meghan, listen. I am fine. I haven’t gotten caught yet. It’s been a week. I think I am in a pretty good place. I don’t think I’ll get caught. I don’t think that I will get into trouble. Plus, now I owe so many girls... uhm... ” Marty started chuckling, “favors, as I like to call it. I will be rolling in the hook ups,” Marty said as he took the first bite of his cheese sandwich. He kept the phone to his ear as he listened to Meghan’s heavy breathing.

“Marty. I always knew that you were a little bit of a womanizer but I didn’t worry about it because all of the girls’ that you hooked up with knew that’s all that it was. There was no such thing as relationships with you. But where did this attitude come from? Not only are you treating every girl know as an object but you are treating every single friend you have as an object and frankly, it’s mean. So, get over yourself,” Meghan practically screamed into the phone.

“Meghan, calm down. This is no big deal. Why are you taking this so seriously?”

Marty asked as he began surfing between channels.

“Because! I miss my best friend. You have become somebody I don’t know. You think you are Mr. Smooth. You think you can hook up with every girl. You think that you can do whatever the hell you want,” Meghan yelled at him. Marty thought he could hear a small whimper, as if she was crying.

“Meghan, chill. I am still me. There has been no reason for me to change! Calm down,” Marty said.

“Marty, I was beginning to think that you had calmed down. You were hooking up less, becoming a better and more respectable person and I thought… Never mind, you wouldn’t care,” she said and hung up.

“What? What do you mean?” Marty desperately yelled into the phone, although he already knew what she was talking about. Marty turned around and kicked the table

next to the couch. After all of this time, he had his chance with Meghan and she decides not to like him because of this. He sat down fuming. He picked up his cell phone and sent her a text: u cant date me cuz of this? fine u werent worth it anyways.

He turned his cell phone off because he didn’t want to see her reply and turned the TV volume way up.

Marty was sitting in chemistry. Everybody was working quietly on a test. Marty had already finished it when his teacher, Mr. Checklin called him forward.

“Marty, I need to talk to you about a very serious subject,” Mr. Checklin said.

“Yes sir, what would you like to talk about?” Marty asked trying to look as solemn as he possibly could. Mr. Checklin probably just wanted to tell him that he’s been doing well in class.

“Marty, I’ve been looking over all of the homework that we’ve done lately. Now, most of your answers are right…”

“Well, I’ve worked very hard on them,” Marty said quickly with a smile.

“But, you only have the answers. There isn’t any work,” Mr. Checklin said gazing at Marty over his glasses frames.

“I just really really understand what is going on here in class. I get it. I totally, totally get it,” Marty said quickly realizing that maybe he had been a tad overconfident.

But, he was sure that he could talk his way out of this.

“Marty, I’m not really sure what to think in this situation,” Mr. Checklin said, folding his hands and leaning back in his chair. He had yet to blink and it was making Marty incredibly nervous.

“Come on Check, you know me better than that. This really isn’t that serious,” Marty said. He wasn’t sure if he was trying to convince himself or Mr. Checklin about how serious this was. Marty didn’t like getting caught and he despised bullshit repercussions.

“This is a very serious matter. We don’t tolerate academic dishonesty at this school. This means detention and possibly even expulsion.”

Marty stared at Mr. Checklin in utter disbelief. He could deal with his school’s stupid version of detention. All you had to do was write a 100-word essay. Most kids bitched and moaned about it so much that they ended up staying there for an hour. But expulsion? Marty would actually get in trouble for that. He was completely unprepared for that.

“What do you mean suspension? I didn’t do anything wrong!” Marty said loudly.

Mr. Checklin held up a hand as if that would actually make Marty calm down.

“Mr. Anchors, I need you to calm down, there is still a test going on,” Mr. Checklin said while gesturing towards the class.

“Alright, alright, I’m calm,” Marty said angrily.

“Good, because there is more I need to discuss with you.”

“What else could we possibly need to talk about?” Marty said exasperatedly.

“Well, I wanted to inform you that not only are you being punished for academic dishonesty but so are all of the ladies who helped you. Nobody had all of the correct answers so it was simple for me to figure out exactly whom it was that let you copy.”

“Are you going to report them? Why would you? Don’t do that! It was my fault!”

Marty said quickly. He didn’t want all of his girls to get in trouble. That would just suck.

“This is just as much their own fault as it is yours. They chose to let you copy. It was their hard effort and you couldn’t even copy it so they didn’t get in trouble.

Ridiculous, Mr. Anchors. I’m sorry but everyone who is responsible for this can and will be held accountable for their actions.”

“Mr. Checklin, come on!” but Marty knew he was fighting a losing battle. He turned away, feeling depressed.

Marty sat down at his seat and pulled out his cell phone. He sent a text message to Meghan explaining that she was right and he was in deep now. He slumped back in his chair, not believing what was going on.

Marty walked to lunch with his head down, not wanting to talk to anyone. He felt a hand touch his shoulder. He turned around to see Meghan standing behind him.

“I told you that this would all blow up in your face,” she said as soon as he looked at her.

“I know. But, come on, I mean… who wouldn’t pass up a chance to not have to do any homework? To just chill and not have to worry about responsibility,” Marty said with his head down, unable to look her in the eyes.

“It doesn’t work that way. What happened? Who caught you?” she asked putting her finger under his chin and making him look her in the eyes.

“Mr. Checklin. And the most screwed up part of all of this is that he is going to get all of us in trouble. Every single person that I cheated off of. We’re all going to get detention.”

“Well, there goes your social life. Every single girl is going to hate you.”

“Yeah, I know but it isn’t that important. I’m a little bit more concerned with the fact that I am going to fail chemistry now.” Marty said.

“Wow, look at you. Growing up and getting all mature,” Meghan said with a laugh. She started walking down the hall towards the cafeteria and waved for him to follow her.

“Yeah, well, reality tripped me and I fell right on my face,” Marty said as he jogged to catch up with her. When he reached her, he fell into step next to her.

“Oh, witty,” Meghan said and she flashed a big, bright smile.

“Meghan?” Marty said shyly as he grabbed her hand and they stopped walking.

“Yeah?”

“I’m sorry. I was an asshole to you and you don’t deserve that. I’m really, really sorry,” Marty said looking right at her and holding onto her hand tightly. She needed to forgive him. He wouldn’t be able to deal with her hating him.

“Well, it’s not exactly okay, but I accept the apology. Friends?” Meghan said and she kept walking.

“Yeah, yeah, but what about… you know… what you said to me when we were fighting?” Marty yelled after her.

“Marty, it is how I feel about you but I need you to prove to me that you are responsible enough and mature enough to be my boyfriend. What happened before, it slowed down the process,” she said and turned around and kept walking. Marty just started after her for a little while, then went to the cafeteria and quietly sat with some of his friends.

During fifth period, his teacher got a call that the principal wanted to see him down in the office. When he got down there he was ushered into the office where Danielle, Lindzie, and every other girl he had copied off of were sitting.

“Mr. Anchors, we have called this meeting to talk about the disciplinary actions that need to be taken in this situation,” his principal Ms. Myers said as soon as he sat down. Marty looked at the girls, all of whom looked incredibly angry.

“Ms. Meyers, may I say something?” Marty asked. He needed to try and fix the situation, even if it ruined things for him.

“Yes Mr. Anchors, you may,” she said.

“I know I messed up. I got lazy and I took advantage of my friends. I did something I had never done before and now all of these people are going to get into trouble because I manipulated them and that is unfair to them. I know you probably have to take some disciplinary action against them but I am asking you to make it… not horrible. Maybe a few days of lunch detention. I want to take the full force of what happened. This is my fault. I will do Saturday detention and do all the necessary extra credit work myself. Don’t punish them, it’s not their fault,” Marty said sitting down.

Everyone was staring at him. “Thank you?” he said awkwardly, feeling that he had maybe said the inappropriate thing.

“That is a very brave thing to do, Mr. Meyers, and I will take that into consideration. I agree that this is mostly your fault. Girls, next time a boy asks you to do this, tell them they are dumb and keep on walking. Ladies, you may go back to class. The secretary will write you a note. As for you Mr. Anchors, we still need to talk a little bit more,” Ms. Meyers said. The girls got up and filed out of the office. They looked at Marty before they left and smiled. He knew he wasn’t home free, but he was in a much better situation now.

“Mr. Anchors, I just want to talk to you about your own personal punishment,” Ms. Meyers said as she closed the door behind the girls.

“What am I going to do?” he asked.

“You will do a lot of extra credit work for chemistry class. I will be talking to your other teachers to see if this has gone on anywhere else. You will have detention everyday after school and on Saturdays for three weeks. We are also calling your parents, understood?” Ms. Meyers asked. Marty had never thought of her as particularly intimidating until now.

“Alright, I got you. I am ready to do all of it. Just so you know, I have been cheating in my other classes, too. I will talk to those teachers about what I can do to make up for it,” Marty said, hoping she wouldn’t give him more detention.

“Thank you for telling me, Mr. Anchors. You have certainly seemed to mature through this situation,” she said.

“You’re telling me,” Marty said. He stood up and went to get a note from the secretary. It was time to go confess to all of his teachers. Marty had never been so scared in his entire life.

LIFE

Kevin Casper Melissa put her purse in the basket. The man on the other side of the bars looked bored. His skin an odd yellow color. Maybe it’s because of that cigarette constantly in his mouth, she thought. This was not her first time in the Baker’s County prison. She was doing a piece on it for the Chicago Tribune. This was the third time she had been here interviewing inmates, but it was only the fourth prison she had come to for her piece, “How long do you think you’ll be today?” asked the yellow man, blowing cigarette smoke in her face.

“As long as it takes,” she said. “Now you know I’m a reporter and that all I am going to bring in is my microphone and recorder, so, will you please let me go in now?”

She asked. She was beginning to get annoyed; she had been waiting there for about 15 minutes. He had already smoked 4 cigarettes.

“Yeah you can go back now. But be careful, this one is a freak!” he said. As she walked through the large, heavy door, she heard him laughing. But loud hacking interrupted him. That right there is the reason you don’t smoke, Melissa thought with a smile.

“Sorry about Barney,” a large man with thinning gray hair said. “He’s a bit rowdy, but he means well.” She had almost forgotten about the police officer accompanying her to the small room she used for interviews.

“Of course he means well. Just like Charles Manson meant well when he had people kill Sharon Tate.” Melissa hated when people said that about obnoxious people.

They never “mean well”, they are just obnoxious.

The guard chuckled. “This is the room, happy interviewing,” he said with a grin.

He held open the door for her and then walked back down the long hallway.

A very unhappy and confused looking man sat at the table with his hands folded.

He was short and he was starting to get that mid-thirties belly. He has red hair and a tired face.

“Kevin Casper, I’m Melissa Griffith. It is a pleasure to meet you,” Melissa said reaching out to shake his hand. He looked at it as though frightened and crossed his arms tightly against his chest.

“Hello,” he said softly, his eyes to the floor. Melissa had never encountered an inmate quite like this. Usually they stood up to shake her hand. She had first thought this was an act of kindness but soon realized they were all taking a peek down her blouse.

Shaking off her confusion, she began setting up the microphone.

“I like your microphone,” he said quietly. She looked over at him. He looked at first at the microphone, then up her with earnest eyes. For the first time since she got in there she realized that this man was attractive. Stay focused, she thought. He is a convicted murderer stupid. She smiled at him.

“Thanks. When I bought it the guy at the store said it was one of the nicest ones available.” She could not believe herself. She was acting like this was a casual coffeehouse conversation. Straightening her shoulders she flipped her hair over her

shoulders and pressed the record button.

“Now Mr. Casper, do you understand why I’m here?” she asked, looking at her nails, she was now unable to look him in the face.

“Yes, you believe that there is some underlying reason people murder other people,” he said, speaking to her as if she was an idiot. She stared at him for a second, with her mouth open.

“Well yeah, exactly. How did you know that?”

“You are not the only one who reads the newspaper Ms. Griffith,” he said softly.

“Oh, well, yes. So, you got angry at a lover because she was cheating on you, correct?" Melanie asked.

"Well you get right to the point don't you Ms. Griffith," Kevin said, looking sad.

"What was your life like before you got convicted for murder?"

"It was happy. I could go to work and buy a Danish on the way from the local bakery. I could buy flowers on the way back. I took the subway... OK well the subway wasn't making me too happy but, everything else did,” he said, smiling at her. Melissa giggled at him, but quickly straightened up. He's a convicted murderer! Act cool and professional and don't laugh, she told herself.

"Your microphone is facing the wrong way, You will only be able to hear your voice, it has to be a little bit more towards me," Kevin said as if it was the most important thing in the world.

"Oh... thanks," Melissa said quietly.

"I really like your hair-do. I haven't been able to see many new female fashions, but please tell me the straight, no volume look is out," he said casually.

"Actually yes. It's more waves and curls. A lot more body. It's kind of like the 80's but I don’t think we are going to go as far as spandex and bike shorts," Melissa said, unable to believe she was opening up this much.

Melissa and Kevin gabbed for about an hour until Kevin stopped talking.

"What's wrong Kevin?" Melanie asked concerned.

"Well I'm not sure if you'll believe this but... I'm gay," he said without looking at her.

"Well it's perfectly understandable. I mean. You know a lot about hair. I could see you being gay," Melissa said in what she hoped was a cheerful and supporting attitude.

"No Melissa, you don't understand what I'm saying. Maybe you could go tell the judge. I was with someone that night. And no one can prove it. Because my boyfriend Eric, he died of AIDS. At the time I was convicted he was still alive. I was ashamed. I didn't want to admit it. I was a predominant citizen. When word got out I was gay, I didn't know what would be worse. Being gay or being in jail. I picked being gay. But I need your help. Would you do this for me? Please?" he asked, grabbing her hand, his eyes pleading.

"Tell me about your boyfriend. What if you’re lying to me?" Melissa asked, scared something bad would happen.

"He was beautiful. A real sweetie. He worked at Guitar World. He was constantly bringing home microphones with him. He was fascinated with them. He loved it when they came out with new ones. Clearer sounds, smaller ones, wireless ones... oh he was such a great guy."

As Kevin described Eric, Melissa's heart softened. She realized that she had to help this man.

"Yes Kevin! Yes, I will do this for you! I can do this for you right now!" She said getting up and grabbing all of her stuff. She smiled at Kevin while she ran out of the room and he smiled back.

Melissa hurried out of the room, excited. Maybe she could get this man exonerated. He had to be innocent. There was no way this man could have killed anyone.

When she got to the yellow man and his room with the bars she had to grab the bars to stop her self she was going so fast.

“Barney! Can I have all of my stuff?” she said hurriedly.

“Hey lady, what’s the rush?” Barney asked, getting the basket of all of her things.

“I think I have a scoop on Kevin Casper. I think he’s innocent! It’s impossible for him to have done it. He was with his boyfriend but his boy friend has recently died of AIDS and he hadn’t wanted to use that as his alibi because he thought it would ruin his good name. Now nobody wants anything to do with him but if I can prove this an innocent man will be out of jail!” Melissa said trying to stuff all of her things back in her purse so she could get out of there. Barney grabbed her hand as if trying to stop her.

“Lady you are pretty dumb and a really bad reporter. You have done none of your research on this man have you? Kevin’s a sociopath. HE can lie and nobody knows it. He doesn’t feel bad about doing anything,” Barney said removing his hand from hers.

Melanie could not, would not believe him. His boyfriend worked at a Guitar World! That’s why he kept on referring to microphones!

She got out of the door and accidentally dropped her purse. As she looked into the fenced in jail yard there was Kevin Casper. But, he was not being quiet and nice as she thought he would. There he was at the head of a white supremacist gang, beating up a smaller black man. She wanted to scream, jump over the fence and bite him! But she couldn't. At that exact moment he looked up at her, smiled, winked, and then turned around and punched the man in the face once more. Melissa got so angry she threw her microphone on the ground, watched as it broke into about nine pieces, and then walked away, leaving it there, hoping Kevin would feel the effect, but knowing he wouldn't.

When Melissa got home that night she took out the recorder to listen to their conversation. About five minutes in she heard a voice say, "Turn it this way." and then she was no longer able to hear what anyone but her was saying.

He Changed My Life, You Ruined It For Ryan Paul Boody 1983-2006. Murdered by Mark Harkenrider in December 2006.

You know what, Mark? I won’t forgive you. for destroying my childish idea of love.

I haven’t gotten over it since that day.

How am I supposed to understand?

You are by no means someone I feel bad for since not even school is the same anymore.

I don’t know if my sister sleeps at all anymore.

My teachers look sad and it’s because of you.

I’ve known him since my sister was fourteen.

He remembered my name, and for my love, that was enough. His memory I can barely stand.

It’s been over a year since that horrible day.

Do you remember what you did that day?

You used to hit him and then did it more.

Maybe he was too scared to take a stand, but he was so nice so why was he with you?

Maybe it was pity, maybe even love.

Did you think about that fact before…?

You may in your mind claim that you did it for him. Afterwards, you sat there for three days, but not out of love because that’s not what loving someone is. It’s more than saying it, way more.

I truly wish that that was something that you had known before. It would help you understand how much I hate you. That this is my stand against those who think it’s okay for these things to happen since both of you were gay. I so wish I could change that day.

I wish I could just yell at you some more, make you see how you hurt those I love.

You killed somebody that I loved!

Why did you do it? I don’t understand!

When I think about it I just hate you more.

You killed him with a clock that before woke you two up. You waited three whole days before killing yourself! Did waiting help you?

This isn’t for you. It’s for the boy people love.

You’ll never have your day, don’t you understand?

This is for him. Everyday we miss him more.