Prosper Magazine - February 2014 by Cedarbrook Media Group, LLC

Live &

PROSPER

™

zine aga M

We Are Prosper! TM

THE TOWN | THE PEOPLE | THE PRIDE

Meet Your Town Council Valentine’s Day Style Communicating Your Love

Person of t he Year February 2014 | VOL II, Issue 6 WeAreProsper.com

Live &

PROSPER

™

We Are Prosper! TM

THE TOWN | THE PEOPLE | THE PRIDE

PPOY 2013!

Expert Care for your Skin

PROSPER DERMATOLOGY Michael McGuiness M.D. P.A.

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Contents

February 2014

Features Prosper’s Town Council-

L&P’s Person of the Year -

Person of the Year Dinner -

Communicating Your Love-

A General Overview

2013 PPOY Jennifer Sanchez

A Look at the PPOY Awards Dinner

Tips on Communicating on Valentine’s Day And Every Day

Prosper Event Calendar -

Letter From The Publishers -

Events And Activities In And Around Prosper

Love is a Powerful Thing

Eagle’s Nest -

Prosper Vision -

Healthy Solutions-

In His Presence -

In Good Taste -

FreeStyle -

A Royal Celebration

A Look At Prosper’s Past, Present And Future

The People 18

Information on Living a Healthy Lifestyle

Community Devotional

Valentine’s Day Treats

The Town 16

The Pride 22

Tips for Valentine’s Day Fashion

On the cover: Live & Prosper’s Person of the Year Jennifer Sanchez, Photography by Jessica Cadis

4 | Live & PROSPER Magazine

February | 2014

CedarbrookMedia.com, Jeannie Naumann Photography

Columns

Mike Cusack Homes Luxury Homes & Remodels

214.682.6279

www.MikeCusackHomes.com | Mike@MikeCusackHomes.com

Prosperâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Person of the Year

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Prosper Events

February 2014

17th 18th 1st Eagles Swim & Dive @ Austin Prosper Town Council Meeting College Natatorium @ 6:00pm Eagle Powerlifting @ North Eagles Basketball @ Centennial Forney Lady Eagles Softball @ 19th Lady Eagle Wrestling Sherman Regionals @ Heritage 12th Rotary Club Meeting @ The Eagle Wrestling Regionals @ Cotton Gin 7:30am 20th Heritage 13th Eagle Tennis @ Krum 21st 3rd Eagle Baseball @ PHS Lady Eagle Wrestling State Lady Eagles Soccer @ PHS Championship @ Cedar Park 4th Eagle Soccer @ PHS Eagle Wrestling State Lady Eagles Softball @ PHS Champi onship @ Cedar Park Eagles Basketball @ PHS Lady Eagle Softball @ Argyle 22nd Lady Eagles Basketball @ PHS 14th Lady Eagle Wrestling State 5th Rotary Club Meeting @ The Championship @ Cedar Park Cotton Gin 7:30am Eagle Wrestling State 6th Eagles Swim & Dive Regionals Champi onship @ Cedar Park 24th @ Frisco ISD Natatorium Lady Eagle Softball @ Argyle 25th 7th Eagle Tennis @ Flower Mound Lady Eagle Golf @ Bridlewood Marcus Country Club Eagles Swim & Dive Regionals Eagle Soccer @ PHS @ Frisco ISD Natatorium Eagle Baseball @ McKinney Eagle Soccer @ Anna Boyd Eagle Baseball @PHS Lady Eagle Soccer @ Denison Eagles Basketball @ PHS 15th Lady Eagle Wrestling State 27th Lady Eagles Softball @ PHS Championship @ Cedar Park PHS Bowling @ Allen Bowl Eagle Wrestling State 28th Lady Eagle Soccer @ Anna Champi onship @ Cedar Park 8th Eagles Swim & Dive Regionals Lady Eagle Softball @ Argyle @ Frisco ISD Natatorium Lady Eagle Golf @ Bridlewood 10th Eagle Baseball @ Denton Country Club 11th Chamber of Commerce @ PHS Bowling @ Plano Super Gentle Creek 7:30am Bowl

6 | Live & PROSPER Magazine

PISD School Board Meeting Eagle Soccer @ PHS Lady Eagle Softball @ PHS Lady Eagle Soccer @ McKinney North Rotary Club Meeting @ The Cotton Gin 7:30am PHS Bowling @ Allen Bowl Eagle Baseball @ PHS Eagles Swim & Dive State @ UT Austin Eagle Baseball @ PHS Eagle Soccer @ Sherman Lady Eagle Soccer @ PHS Eagles Swim & Dive State @ UT Austin Eagle Baseball @ PHS Eagle Track @ Frisco Memorial Eagles Golf @ Oakmont Chamber of Commerce @ Gentle Creek 7:30am Prosper Town Council Meeting @ 6:00pm Eagle Soccer @ PHS Lady Eagle Softball @ PHS Lady Eagle Soccer @ PHS Lady Eagle Softball @ PHS Eagle Baseball @ PHS Eagle Tennis @ Goldfield HS Lady Eagle Softball @ PHS Eagle Baseball @ PHS Eagle Golf @ Bridlewood Country Club

February | 2014

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Your Smile. Your Town. Your Orthodontist. Dr. Bodine is proud to call Prosper home.

Not only for his practice, but for his family as well. Our office is conveniently located in the heart of Prosper to better serve your family with the highest quality orthodontic and Invisalign care for all ages.

Call today to schedule your complimentary orthodontic or Invisalign exam. Dr. Trevor P. Bodine Orthodontic Specialist

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Prosperâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Person of the Year

WeAreProsper.com | 4/4/13 10:17 AM

PROSPER

™

We Are Prosper! TM

THE TOWN | THE PEOPLE | THE PRIDE

Voted 2013 New Business of The Year

ove, Love, Love…an endearing word used to describe so much emotion for so many people and things. We love each other, we love our children, we love our family, our friends and our town. Never before have we been so consumed with these feelings than we are at this moment in our lives. As we look around our home and at our children, we are constantly amazed at how lucky we are and how many blessings have been bestowed upon us. Our children are truly miracles, and our new bundle of joy has brought about a new level of peace, love and harmony to our home. It is incredible how someone so small and so new to the world, someone so young they can’t even communicate effectively yet, can completely alter your family and the love you all share. Love is a powerful thing.

Executive Publishers Jason & Heather Reynolds Editorial/Marketing Director Heather Reynolds Editor/Staff Writer Marla J. Thomas, PhD Production/Creative Director Jason Reynolds Contributing Writers Lauren Carraway Heather Reynolds Marla J. Thomas, PhD Caitlin Skidmore Photography Contributors Cedarbrook Media Jessica Cadis Photography Jeannie Naumann Photography Production / Design Cedarbrook Media Group Jason@CedarbrookMedia.com ©2014

Live & Prosper Magazine All Rights Reserved Worldwide. The title and all material are protected by international copyright laws and are reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced without the publisher’s permission. Although the greatest of care has been taken to ensure the accuracy of the information contained in this magazine at time of going to press, neither Live & Prosper Magazine nor Cedarbrook Media Group can be held liable for omissions, inexactness or errors.

Along with the blessing of our children, we are so fortunate to have the love and support of our extended family and some amazing friends. People who would drop anything and everything to not only help, but to celebrate with us. People that we are fortunate to surround our children with, to help teach them about giving unselfishly, compassion, honor and empathy. People we love with all of our hearts for their unselfishness and their devotion to others. People who love and treat others as members of the family, whether blood related or not. People whose love knows no boundaries. Yes, love is a powerful thing.

To be a part of upcoming issues, please contact Live & Prosper Magazine PO Box 405 Prosper, Texas 75078

We also have a love and devotion for our town and the people who call it home. We have loved everything about Prosper since the day we signed the contract to build our home several years ago. However, this love and dedication was rejuvenated and our pride deepened as we worked through the selection process for the Person of the Year. Those that took the time to nominate someone deserving, those that serve every day to make Prosper a better place and those that agreed to help on the selection committee…they are all treasures to be cherished. We were fortunate to see the love and commitment that so many residents, town officials and employees share. Love for their town, love for their service and love for one another. Yes indeed, love is a powerful thing!

469.481.2935 WeAreProsper.com

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The Eagle’s Nest - PISD News

A Royal Celebration

On January 23rd, the students, staff and parents at Cockrell Elementary School celebrated their 2nd Annual Royal Jubilee. A celebration about the life of Cynthia A. Cockrell, it was a wonderful day for the staff and students to learn about their school’s namesake. A graduate of Prosper High School in 1974, Cynthia earned her Bachelor of Science degree from Texas A&M University in 1978 and returned to Prosper in 1980. She taught kindergarten, third and fourth grades in Prosper for twenty-five years and then went on to serve for three years as an Assistant Principal at Rucker and Folsom Elementary Schools. An educator with deep ties to the Prosper community, Cynthia had a love for the Prosper ISD staff and students, a great sense of humor and a commitment to education. Cynthia’s nickname growing up was “Queenie,” and her favorite color was royal blue, thus the idea for the Royal Jubilee! The celebration fell around her half-birthday and the day was fit for a Queen. The children were encouraged to dress in royal blue clothing, enjoyed a decadent cupcake, decorated their own crowns and listened to Cynthia’s fellow colleagues read her favorite books and stories. There were also many royal volunteers on hand to serve cupcakes and help the students decorate their crowns. A special occasion to rejoice in her life, King John Cockrell, Cynthia’s husband, was also in attendance. The Royal Jubilee is a wonderful commemoration of Cynthia’s legacy and commitment to teaching, learning and service.

10 | Live & PROSPER Magazine

February | 2014

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Health & Wellness

Healthy S olutions

By Lauren Caraway Certified Personal Trainer and Independent Team Beachbody Coach at The Cell Inc.

American Heart Month

he month of February is typically associated with love, romance, candy and flowers in celebration of Valentine’s Day. However, if we look at the bigger picture as we head into the New Year, we should recognize that these celebrations come from the heart, literally and figuratively. Good health outlasts candies or flowers, so this February consider giving yourself and loved ones the gift of health.

Heart disease remains the nation’s leading cause of death in both men and women, and that’s unfortunate because we can do many things to improve and even prevent this. We can start by taking small steps every day to bring our loved ones and ourselves closer to heart health by making a plan for prevention. Some health conditions and lifestyle factors can put people at a higher risk for developing heart disease. You can help prevent heart disease by making healthy choices and managing any medical conditions you may have. A healthy diet is a great way to manage this. Whether you have years of unhealthy eating under your belt, or simply want to fine-tune your diet, here are eight heart-healthy diet tips. Once you know which foods to eat more of and which foods to limit, you’ll be on your way toward a heart-healthy diet. Control your portion size- Overloading your plate, taking seconds or eating until you’re stuffed can lead to eating more calories, fat and cholesterol. For example, one serving of pasta is 1/2 cup, or about the size of a hockey puck. A serving of meat, fish or chicken is 2 to 3 ounces, or about the size and thickness of a deck of cards. Eat more fruits and vegetables- Eating more of these low-calorie, nutrient-rich foods, and less of high-calorie, high-sodium foods, such as refined, processed or fast foods, can shape up your diet as well as your heart and waistline. They are high in vitamins, minerals, dietary fiber, and many contain natural substances that may help prevent cardiovascular disease. Stick to fresh produce, low sodium canned vegetables or canned fruit in water or even no sugar added frozen items. Select whole grains-Whole grains are good sources of fiber and other nutrients that play a role in regulating blood pressure and heart health. You can increase the amount of whole grains in a heart-healthy diet by making simple substitutions for refined grain products. Examples: whole-wheat flour, 100% whole-grain/whole-wheat bread, high-fiber cereal with 5g or more of fiber in a serving, brown rice, barley, buckwheat, whole-grain pasta, oatmeal (steel-cut or regular) or ground flaxseed. Limit unhealthy fats and cholesterol- Limiting how much saturated and trans fats you eat is an important step to reduce your blood cholesterol and lower your risk of coronary artery disease. A high blood cholesterol level can lead to a buildup of plaques in your arteries, called atherosclerosis, which can increase your risk of heart attack and stroke. General examples for a 2,000 calorie diet: less than 7% of your total calories (or less than 14g) from saturated fat, less than 1% (or less than 2g) from transfat, and total cholesterol less than 300mg/day for healthy adults or less than 200mg/day for adults with high levels of LDL (“bad”) cholesterol or those taking cholesterol-lowering medication.

14 | Live & PROSPER Magazine

Choose low-fat protein sources- Lean meat, poultry and fish, low-fat dairy products, and egg whites or egg substitutes are some of your best sources of protein. Certain types of fish are rich in omega-3 fatty acids, which can lower blood fats called triglycerides. You’ll find the highest amounts of omega-3 fatty acids in cold-water fish. Legumes also are good sources of protein and contain less fat and no cholesterol, making them good substitutes for meat. Reduce the sodium in your food- Too much sodium can contribute to high blood pressure, a risk factor for cardiovascular disease. Stick to fresh produce and preparing your own meals (i.e. less processed foods). If you buy canned foods, go for the low sodium or no salt added items. Plan ahead- create healthy menus- Now that you know what foods to feature in your heart-healthy diet make your grocery list accordingly and plan meals for the week in advance. This also helps to avoid those last minute unhealthy choices in general. EXERCISE- Last, but certainly not least, being overweight or obese can increase your risk for heart disease. Measuring your hip and waist circumference are two methods used to determine your body mass index and body fat measurements. A normal or healthy BMI ranges from 18.5 to 24.9. Overweight is 25 to 29.9 and obese is anything 30 or above. The waist circumference measurements are used to determine the fat around the “gut” which is the most dangerous as this (visceral) fat is surrounding all of your vital organs. To maintain a healthy weight, pickup an exercise routine, grab a friend to start walking or jogging with, join a health and wellness facility, and become part of a group class or get specialized guidance from a certified personal trainer. Ideally you should aim to participate in some form of moderate physical activity for at least 30 minutes five to six days per week. Start your new year off on the right track. A small investment now can save you big in the long run. Cheers to a healthier you! February | 2014

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The Town

Prosper’s Town Council: A General Overview

by Marla J. Thomas, PhD

t the heart of the positive and rapid growth of Prosper is our elected Town Council. Alongside Mayor Ray Smith, 6 council members diligently serve our community:

Prosper’s Town Council Ray Smith, Mayor Meigs Miller, Mayor Pro-Tem, Council Member Place 4 Kenneth Dugger, Deputy Mayor Pro-Tem, Council Member Place 2 Michael Korbuly, Council Member Place 1 Curry Vogelsang Jr., Council Member Place 3 Danny Wilson, Council Member Place 5 Jason Dixon, Council Member Place 6

quer” the many responsibilities that come their way. A wealth of research and information gathering is conducted to ensure educated decisions are made in the best interest of the town. Among the many, the council engages in decision making related to infrastructure, land usage, and finances. At the forefront of each decision, emphasis is placed on “fiscal responsibility” and “smart growth.” As one council member described, “Prosper is only 27 square miles; we don’t have the luxury of making mistakes,” thus each and every decision is carefully considered with a commitment to excellence.

Each member of the Town Council is elected at large for a 3 year term. The Mayor Pro-Tem, and subsequently the Deputy Mayor Pro-Tem, is designated to assume the role of the Mayor in the event the Mayor would be unable to carry out his responsibilities. In some cities/towns, a council member’s place number represents a specific geographical area of the city/town in which he/ she represents. However, in Prosper, all council members represent all of Prosper and their efforts are not geographically distributed.

The Vision “Prosper is a community committed to excellence. It is a high-quality, family-oriented community maintaining a visually aesthetic open feel with quality commercial development directed to the Town’s major transportation corridors all while maintaining strong fiscal responsibility.” Each day, our elected Town Council members generously donate their time, energy, and talents to serve our community and facilitate the critical decision making that maintains our town’s commitment to excellence. Together, our council members engage in a high level of collaboration to “divide and con-

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February | 2014

The Town

The Commitment to Community The Town Council is highly committed to the people of Prosper and readily seeks involvement from community members. There are numerous ways in which community members can gather information, participate, and ensure their voice is heard. For example: • •

• • • •

•

Community members are welcome to attend Town Council meetings, which are held the 2nd and 4th Tuesday of each month at 6pm at the Prosper Municipal Chambers (108 W. Broadway St.). Community members who wish to speak at a council meeting are asked to complete and submit a “Public Meeting Appearance Card,” which can be accessed on the town’s website www.Prospertx.gov. Please submit cards to the Town Secretary prior to the meeting. Community members may visit the town’s website and/or Town Hall to review the agenda and minutes of any Town Council meeting. Meeting agendas are available by 5pm on the Friday prior to each meeting week. Community members can direct questions about a council meeting’s agenda to the Town Secretary’s office: 972-569-1011. As such activities arise, community members are encouraged to participate in activities that aim to share information with, and seek information from, community members (e.g., Town Hall Meetings, Surveys). As opportunities arise, community members are encouraged to volunteer to serve on ad hoc committees that assist town staff with projects, such as the previously completed Windmill Playground Community Build, or perhaps site selection for a facility, or review/update of the town’s Comprehensive Plan. As openings become available, community members are encouraged to serve on a council-appointed, town board or commission (e.g., Library Board, Parks and Recreation Board, Planning and Zoning Commission). For additional information regarding the town’s boards and commissions, community members may contact the Town Secretary’s office: 972-5691011. Community members who wish to voice a complaint can formally file their complaint with the Town Manager, Harlan Jefferson, by scheduling an appointment 972-569-1012 or submitting a written letter to PO Box 307, Prosper, TX 75078. The Mayor and Town Council Members are honored to serve Prosper. Community members are always warmly welcome to contact council members via telephone or email (see town website for contact information).

The Upcoming General Election Importantly, the Town Council has two seats up for election this spring, Place 3 and 5, which are currently held by council members, Curry Vogelsang Jr. and Danny Wilson, respectively. Prosper residents interested in running in the election are invited to complete and file their application between January 29th and February 28th. For more information regarding the application process, please visit the town website www.Prospertx.gov. Registered voters living in Prosper are encouraged to participate in this important election by learning about the candidates and placing their vote at the next general election, scheduled for Saturday, May 10, 2014. Please reference next month’s March issue of Live & Prosper Magazine, as we continue our mini-series on Prosper’s Town Council and introduce you to each member of our Town Council. Additionally, once the candidates for the Town Council board election become available, we will provide relevant information to help inform the community about each candidate. Prosper’s Person of the Year

WeAreProsper.com |

Live &

The People

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THE TOWN | THE PEOPLE | THE PRIDE

“Jennifer Sanchez is hands down the Person of the Year! She makes it a point to help anyone and everyone that comes on her radar. She sees the whole picture of everything and not just what good something will do for herself. This is a rare finding in today’s world!”

18 | Live & PROSPER Magazine

Jessica Cadis Photography

Jennifer Sanchez

I am a proud native Texan, although I spent my teenage years and my 20s in southern California. At the time, I didn’t understand why my mom moved us to Santa Barbara when I was 10, but I am forever grateful she did – I met my future husband when I got to high school! I was lucky to go to college in San Diego and then reunite with Chris Sanchez afterward. We got married and moved to Pasadena. After many tries and tears, we were blessed to start a family and within a year of her arrival, our perspective was completely consumed with finding what environment was best for our daughter and her future siblings. We decided that a life in Texas was more affordable, promising and healthy. We moved to Frisco in 2003 and built our house in Prosper because a co-worker in Plano said that in 15 years, we’d be glad we did. (It took more like 15 minutes to realize we’d made the right choice.) The next year, we moved in and later, our second beautiful girl was born. As our children grew, I started an organizing business and became more involved in community projects, our neighborhood’s management, and local charities & fundraisers. When the girls got older, I signed up to head school events and sports teams. All of a sudden, it was 2013 and I realized the term limit for the PTO position I share with my cherished work partner, the incredible Debra Smith, would end our leadership in 2014, after proudly serving at Baker & now, Cockrell. I didn’t know what I would do next, but I knew I needed to find something that would keep me tied to the students, families and the exemplary PISD staff. These are the people I see every day and I couldn’t imagine not serving them or feeling as rewarded for the effort. By God’s grace, I stumbled upon something that ties all of my favorite things together – empowering people, serving Prosper families, encouraging kids, rewarding their efforts, transferring skills and owning a business. I’ll get started in a few months and I am excited to see how it goes!

Life in Prosper moves at my pace. We can be busy, but we don’t live in a busy place. I like that everything I need is 5 minutes away and 10 if there’s traffic (which, by Prosper’s definition, is more than 10 cars at an intersection). I like that we know someone everywhere we go and we can count on being greeted with smiles. We feel safe and secure thanks to our outstanding police & fire departments. I especially love seeing ranches, longhorns and historic places in Prosper mixed with beautiful family neighborhoods, schools and new businesses. My vision for Prosper is to freeze time or at least, slow it down! Since reality makes that impossible, I would like to see us manage our growth by never compromising on our values and always preserving the charm and style that brought all of these great families I know to Prosper. We have a finite amount of space and I hope we use it well. No matter how “built-out” we get or how fast that happens, I hope we forever remain a town and never become a city. I pray we remain a place where not only everyone matters, but everyone is treated like a neighbor and a valued member of a “tight knit,” family-oriented community. Most importantly, in a perfect Prosper, we protect, encourage and inspire our children to make the Town an even better place. To me, “A place where everyone matters” is not just a motto…It’s a lifestyle and it’s real. It’s an attitude and I believe in it. It’s why we moved here and it’s why we stay. I try to treat everyone like they matter and I want my kids to grow up seeing and knowing that. I help people because I know they would do it for me. I don’t believe in special treatment or entitlement and I don’t believe in neglecting or ignoring anyone. Everyone has value because everyone has a story. I like to hear them! We are part of something bigger, the Prosper family, and we need to take care of each other in the good times so we can get through the bad ones. Everyone has a gift and if we pool them all, we can really build a circle around the kids, our most important members of the family, and make them strong, positive and successful adults. Prosper isn’t just a place, it’s a small town with a big heart and it’s home.

February | 2014

I’m humbled by the words used to describe me in the nomination. I’m honored that someone would think so highly of me that they nominate me to be considered alongside some individuals that have had significant impacts on the Prosper community. I believe they are recognizing me for my labor of love. I really enjoy contributing to the community and its development and interacting with everyone involved. We have a symbiotic relationship with so many organizations and we need them to be successful too because their success contributes to our success. I am committed to helping others be successful. If someone is taking note of my active role in the community, I appreciate it, but it’s only who I am.

My career has been mostly confined to cities and towns that are, in a general sense, small. In just about every case, that indefinable smalltown character expresses itself in ways that appeal very deeply to me and my sense of public service. Knowing and living among the very people who are the direct beneficiaries of our efforts at Town Hall makes this job a very personal one. Seeing board and commission members around Town, having a casual conversation with community leaders and volunteers over coffee and sitting across from them at a Chamber meeting gives me a sense of satisfaction that municipal officials in larger cities just don’t enjoy. To me, having that daily contact with our residents, in essence, the people who put their trust in me and my staff on a daily basis, is something that I hope to never take for granted. In addition to the small town feel, I have found the family-oriented nature to also be very endearing and it produces a lot of support for our community events and the expansion of our parks and recreational programs. I greatly appreciate the excellent school system professionally and benefit from it personally. The school spirit is unbelievable. Growth for the sake of growth, expansion with no real plan, development just to fill in open space is a formula for disaster. We need to be thoughtful, engage the public, and listen to hear what people are saying and what is really behind the words. Our growth must reflect what people want Prosper to be, not just for us, but for those who will come after us. We need to look at Prosper through the eyes of people who will be here once we’re gone. The work we do today will have an impact on generations to come. Knowing people on a level that goes beyond “name, rank, and serial number” is very important to me because I believe we are all still learning virtually something new every single day. I never want to stop learning, never want to be satisfied with where I am. I want to continue to become better – a better administrator, a better leader, a better husband and father, a better person. And, there’s no better way to do that than to see everyone I meet as someone with an intrinsic value that allows me to learn from them. Everyone matters, without question, because everyone can teach me something. Prosper’s Person of the Year

2013 PPOY Nominee Drake Dunn

2013 PPOY Nominee Harlan Jefferson

My wife Vickie and I have been married for 25 years. We have two daughters, Taylor (20 yrs old) and Peyton (13 yrs old). My one-year anniversary in service to Prosper as Town Manager occurred in January. My family and I now call Prosper home in every respect.

“Drake Dunn has served as President of PYSA - Prosper Youth Sports Association for the prior two years and now serves on the Little League Board. Drake also serves on the Parks and Recreation Board and I know he will continue to serve the town with dedication. We love him for sacrificing his free time for the love of youth sports in our wonderful town of Prosper.” I have been married to my wonderful wife, Sherri, for 15 years. We have been blessed with two beautiful children – our son, Hutch (12) and our daughter, Halle (9). And, rounding out our family are our dogs – Hamilton and Nolan. I grew up in the East Texas town of Lufkin and graduated from Lufkin High School. In 1994, I graduated from Baylor University with a B.B.A. in Management Information Systems and Quantitative Business Analysis. I have been employed by Bank of America for 19 years where I currently serve an Information Technology role in the Corporate Audit sector. Outside of work and family, I have invested my time to Prosper by serving as the Prosper Youth Sports Association President from 2010 – 2012. I currently serve as the Vice-President of the Prosper Little League organization, as well as the Parks and Recreation Committee. As a huge sports fan since my childhood, I wanted Prosper to be a place where all children had the opportunity to participate in recreational sports and activities. I have been fortunate to serve these roles with some amazing Prosper residents who shared the same vision for our children as I had. The recreational youth sports programs in Prosper have now reached an all-time high, not only due to the quantity of offerings, but most importantly the quality provided. If the fruit of our labors fosters continued success, the opportunities for our children will continue to be exciting.

Prosper is an incredible town. There are too many to choose from, but I have to say the most endearing part of living in Prosper is the pride everyone takes as residents. Everyone is proud to wear the “P.” I truly believe residents want Prosper to carve out its own legacy with our pride being the foundation. We moved from Frisco 5 years ago on a whim when my wife found a house that was perfect for our family. Without any research, we made the move to Prosper only a month in a half after we found the house! Little did I know what a hidden treasure we had stumbled upon by moving to Prosper. My vision for our development is probably no different than many others…innovation of new businesses, expansion of parks and recreation, and continuation of excellence in our school district. In my mind, the vision I have focused on lies with our leadership, both currently and in the future. I envision the leaders of our community never falling into the trap of, “if it worked in other towns, it will work for Prosper,” but rather opening their minds to the creation of a masterpiece. My vision for Prosper is one where we seize the opportunity to transform our town into one of the most unique places in America. The process by which it takes to get there is one that offers all residents an exciting future, even if the end result has yet to be revealed. Sometimes an unidentified end result can be an exciting journey of discovery. Prosper is very much a family-oriented town. We all want the best for our children. As parents, naturally, we all do our best to fully evaluate the many opportunities available for them to participate in, hopefully with the goal of fostering their personal growth and development. Not everyone’s decision will be the same, but we all want to be a part of this incredible community. No matter our choices, we should all take pride in the fact we live in a community where we can be accepted and make an impact in our own, unique way. Not everyone will share this belief, but that just confirms what Prosper is all about… a place where everyone matters!

WeAreProsper.com |

The People

“Harlan Jefferson has a wonderful vision for the growth and direction of Prosper. It’s very refreshing to see our leader engaging with various organizations within the town, and appreciate his support of current businesses and their owners. He may not realize it, but his participation at Chamber and other community events means a lot to the membership and to the residents. He is approachable, likable, hard-working and has the experience we need to build our town. I am excited about the growth of Prosper and feel very confident that we now have the right leadership in place in order for Prosper to reach its full potential.”

The People

I am very blessed to have a wonderful husband of 24 years, 3 grown sons, and 3 beautiful grandchildren. I graduated from High School, and attended college; however, I married young and started a family. In 1987, I started working in sales in the Homebuilding industry. I worked my way up to Vice President of Sales & Marketing for a National Homebuilder. I left Corporate America in 2006 to take care of my grandchildren and pursue my passion for Interior Design. I am now the Owner of Intentional Interiors, a commercial interior design company. We have lived in Prosper for 9 years now. I love the sense of community; I really notice it in the churches. I am a member of Lighthouse Christian Fellowship; however, I go to Prestonwood for a lot of the Ladies Bible Studies, and I have taken my children to Rhea Mills for Awana’s, and attended summer camps at various other churches. It’s like we are all one big family; I have never seen this in any other city we have lived in. The churches even pray for each other here. This is not something you see every day in other cities, like Frisco or McKinney. We are a very special and unique town. We will grow, but I don’t think we will lose our sense of the small town.

I am a very busy trying to keep up with my commitments. I am a people-pleaser with a heart to serve. I find myself over committing a lot, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. I am very humble, and find it hard to conceive why God has blessed me so abundantly. I don’t feel I am deserving of my life, and it is this that drives me to want to bless others. Over the last nine years, I have been asked to serve on various committees when tragedy or unforeseen circumstances have befallen one of our own. I have felt honored to be in a position to help those in need, but I also knew in my heart that there were more needs than that which was surfacing. It was for this reason I felt called to start the Prosper Ladies Association. I wanted to form an umbrella where the women of prosper could come together and help those in need. I felt that as our city grew there would be more needs and I knew there were other women that had a heart to serve the community, as I did. I’m serving as the President of the Prosper Ladies Association and in five short months we have over 160 members. We have established partnerships with the other non-profit organizations here in Prosper to meet those needs head-on. Overseeing the 12 committee chairs has quickly become a full time job, but very rewarding opportunity.

20 | Live & PROSPER Magazine

2013 PPOY Nominee Wayne Bartley

2013 PPOY Nominee Lena Smith

“Lena Smith was nominated for Person of the Year due to her tireless efforts to help and support those in our community that are in need. She has made a tremendous impact with the founding of the Prosper Ladies Association in such a short time, and will continue to do wonderful things for our community.”

“Wayne is the role model of servant leadership, a visionary who leads by example. He is a humble man who is all about putting the needs of others before his own. Some of the highlights from Wayne’s service in 2013 include: leading major events for Cornerstone (Golf Tournament, Gala Dinner, Cornerstone Christmas), leading Serve Prosper, organizing the community and working with the town to help 2 families get their homes up to code and emceeing Friday at the Park events. While these are the public roles he plays, he does so much more behind the scenes, whether it’s taking a shift at The Attic, meeting with supporters and volunteers for Cornerstone, taking our senior citizens in the church van to visit a friend in a nursing home, cheering on his daughter Kelsie at swim meets, helping a Cornerstone family move into their new apartment. Wayne does all of this in addition to working long hours serving his church family at FBC Prosper where he also leads by example usually being the first to arrive and the last to leave putting away tables and chairs and switching off the lights.” I serve as Executive Director of Cornerstone Assistance Network of North Central Texas as well as Executive Pastor at FBC Prosper. I grew up in Hewitt, TX and received my degrees from Howard Payne University and Hardin Simmons University. I have served in Texas churches over the past twenty years. I serve as the Executive Pastor at FBC Prosper and volunteer my time as the Executive Director of Cornerstone NCT. I have been married for eighteen years to Amy and we have one daughter, Kelsie. I enjoy being with my family, playing golf and traveling. I have lived and worked in Prosper since April of 2008. I think the most endearing part of living here is there is a real sense of community when someone is in need. Whether people know the person or not, if there is a need, people want to step-up and meet it. There is a generosity of the people that is unique.

My vision is for our community to continue to have this generous spirit. I really believe that with the knowledge, talent and resources that God has blessed our community with, we could actually change a small country somewhere in the world. I hope to see people coming together through our local Churches, Service Organizations, and ministries like Cornerstone NCT and Bethlehem Place to help people right here in our own back yard. Then we will use our experience to go change a country! I just desire to serve people and help people. I believe that is what I am called to do and my desire is to do that every day. I am thankful that the town motto and the calling of my life are so closely related. When asked who he is when nobody is looking, he had this to say - I pray I am the same guy everyone sees, but the truth is we are all simply sinners. Romans 3:23 says “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” I am thankful for the grace of my Lord Jesus who forgives me. I love being home or on the go with Amy and Kelsie. Dinner at the table with them talking about the day is such a blessing. My favorite thing of all though is to be with them at the lake. I am a thinker and a dreamer and the ideas never seem to stop. I only vocalize about 10 out of 100 because I realize how crazy some of them can be. February | 2014

I love how I have been able to blend my personal life and professional life to be an integrated part of this community. Most people have their work world and their home life, but I am blessed to have them overlap. I get to serve in Prosper as a medical provider, volunteer, neighbor and friend. I would love to see Prosper continue to grow without losing its small town appeal. The community spirit and enthusiasm is what is so enduring about this town. As more and bigger businesses come to town, my vision would be for The Town of Prosper to continue to support and encourage family owned businesses, continue to bring the community together and continue making it a priority to take care of the community. It is important to always remember the values that have brought this town to where it is now and not lose sight of what is best for the residents and business owners that live and work in the community.

I believe that our purpose in life is to serve others and that you cannot find true joy without serving. The blessings in life that we receive are an honor and privilege that should be used to help others. Everyone has a gift or talent that they can use to help. I have served on the Board of Directors of Cornerstone North Central Texas for the last 18 months. I originally approached Cornerstone and asked if I could offer free medical care to the individuals getting assistance from Cornerstone. As a result, we added a free clinic night at my office 1-2 days per month serving the needs of those individuals, as well as free sports physicals before school started. I also volunteer as President of the Booster Club for the Prosper High School Talonettes, support local charities like the Cory Ausenbaugh Scholarship, and support local sports including Prosper football, baseball, volleyball and soccer, as well as, sponsored youth sports teams helping them purchase uniforms. All of that is to say, serving others is my #1 priority. In every aspect of my life, I look for ways to serve and help others. I spend my time providing patient care in my clinic, serving with Cornerstone, opening my clinic for free to provide indigent care, volunteering in the school district, providing financial support to local athletics, encouraging local businesses to come together to serve the community as a group, and treating every individual with the utmost respect. I believe that everyone, no matter what their socioeconomic status is, deserves to be treated with respect and dignity. I also learned in my years at the free clinic in McKinney that everyone is one tragedy away from needing assistance. Every action of a person is based on their personal life experiences and situation, unfortunately, when we see their actions, we usually don’t know the personal situation that is influencing those actions. I want those individuals that I meet to walk away knowing that someone cared and didn’t judge their actions. My hope is that everyone I encounter feels as if they were important and someone cared about them. Prosper’s Person of the Year

2013 PPOY Nominee Susan Horn

2013 PPOY Nominee Marcy Henson

I have been married for almost 27 years and have a 16 year old daughter. I am Board Certified as a Family Nurse Practitioner by the American Academy of Nurse Practitioners. I own and operate 3 businesses: Family Focused Care, a full service family practice; Health Fusion of Texas, a cash pay clinic that offers bio-identical hormone replacement and aesthetics services; and our newest venture, Fitness Fusion, a weight loss and fitness clinic that offers nutritional counseling and personal training.

“Susan Horn opened Prospering Farms Riding and Show Stables 20 years ago in 1993. She celebrated her 20th year in 2013 of promoting the love of horses and providing the opportunity for Residents in Prosper and surrounding Cities to become educated on horsemanship and ride and show horses at all ages. She partnerships with PISD to allow students to earn PE credit at the barn starting in 7th grade and is a very active member of our community. She is active at Prosper United Methodist Church and is involved in many Activities and Charities giving back to the Prosper Community. Most importantly, she has run her facility with the utmost of integrity and taking a personal interest in EVERY child who rides at her facility offering numerous children and teens here in our town the opportunity to benefit and learn so many life lessons through caring for, riding, and showing horses - a truly magical and therapeutic animal with the ability to touch so many lives forever - and not without TREMENDOUS DAILY HARD WORK! She deserves to be recognized for this, as her first students are now graduating from college and all becoming extremely upstanding and fine young women (and some men :)) all over the United States. Happy 20th Year to Prospering Farms!” I graduated from SMU and then moved to California for a job. While I was there competing with horses, I was asked to ride professionally. This was one of my dreams, so I took the offer. After years of competing and training students in CA, I decided it was time to move back to TX. My family had their farm in Prosper, so it was time to come back and start a new business here. I have now been in Prosper for 20 years. I have had my business, Prospering Farm since 1993. I have lived here since 2002. I love living and working here for the small town feel. You can get to know people better. When you go out to eat or visit stores, I can always run into someone that I know.

I have enjoyed watching the Town of Prosper grow. At one time in my business, we didn’t have any customers that lived in Prosper. Now we have so many that live here. We have so many young ladies that ride with us that can take Off Campus PE. They get out of school early so they can come to the barn and fulfill their dreams. When I first built my business, hardly a car drove down CR 78 (East 1st St). It was barely wide enough for 2 cars to pass each other on a dirt road with a little rock on it. Today it is 4 lanes wide and concrete! I am very flattered that I was nominated for Person of the Year. I hope people see the integrity that I represent and try to instill in all of my students. Everyone matters in Prosper. I love to go vote in Prosper in the local votes. When the voting is over, you can see the numbers that voted for each side and you know your vote meant something. I really enjoy participating in the Prosper Parades. For the Prosper Homecoming Parade, everyone either participates in the parade or is in the parade. It is so overwhelming when you come around the corner onto Broadway and see all of the people and friends of Prosper. I have so many customers that lived in other cities, but due to their exposure of Prosper from my business they have moved to Prosper. WeAreProsper.com |

The People

“Marcy works tirelessly for the community of Prosper. She helps out with school activities at PHS. She owns and runs Family Focused Care in Prosper where she also offers free clinic hours for people without money or healthcare. She is involved in several community projects and activities, unfortunately I don’t know enough about them to discuss, but I know that no one works harder than Marcy Henson for her patients and community.”

The Pride

Jeannie Naumann Photograpy

PPOY 2013 Awards Dinner

by Heather Reynolds

ast year, in its inception, Live & PROSPER Magazine’s Person of the Year 2012 originated with some incredible nominees. We had individuals from Town Hall, non-profit organizations, community volunteers and our illustrious school district who were recognized. While each nominee was amazing in their own right, the award went to Prosper School District’s Superintendent, Dr. Drew Watkins. In October, we began to ask our readers to search their hearts for the best this town has to offer. The cream of the crop. The most generous, selfless, giving leaders and individuals in our community with hearts to serve. Once again, we were blown away with the responses and the individuals who were nominated for Live & PROSPER Magazine’s Person of the Year 2013. We again had nominees from Town Hall, non-profit organizations, business owners and community volunteers. These individuals work day-in and day-out, giving of themselves to ensure that the people in our town are cared for, loved on and listened to. They are role models for each of us, and inspire others to reach out and do the right thing. After the nominations were received, we contacted each one and asked them to complete a questionnaire to help our Selection Committee settle on a “winner.” Questions ranged from how long they have lived/worked in Prosper, to what was most endearing about our town, to who they were when nobody was watching. Their an-

22 | Live & PROSPER Magazine

swers were spell-binding, and not surprising, we knew it would be a difficult decision to select just one Person of the Year! Our Selection Committee consisted of about 1012 individuals from Prosper. While Live & PROSPER Magazine provided the forum and gathered the committee, we completely removed ourselves from the selection process. We invited community residents, business owners, town officials and employees, and several of last year’s nominees to participate on the committee. Each one received the nominees’ questionnaires, along with the statements submitted when each was nominated. As they gathered one evening at Black River Coffee, the deliberations began. It was an open round table discussion, and the committee shared their personal stories and knowledge of those being recognized. It was narrowed down to three top choices, and then to two. The final two were so closely matched that it was extremely difficult for the committee to select just one!! In the end, it was Jennifer Sanchez who prevailed, and all remarked at how proud they were that an individual was the recipient… she does what she does because it’s just her way. It was such a powerful evening, and renewed in all of us the sense of pride we share for this town and its residents. We live and work among some of the most incredible people I’ve ever known! The people are what make Prosper great, and recognizing their efforts and sharing their stories are the way we will continue to foster our tightknit community as we grow!

On January 27th, we again gathered at Black River Coffee to celebrate and recognize the nominees for their contributions to our town. It was a wonderful evening with delicious food and great company! Each of the nominees were introduced and recognized for all they have done for Prosper, our residents and our children. When the time came to announce this year’s winner, we had a special guest do the honors. Dr. Drew Watkins, last year’s recipient, was in Austin for meetings, but in true Prosper fashion, he made sure he could participate…LIVE via Face Time! Everyone was excited and surprised to see his face on the big screen as he announced Jennifer Sanchez as this year’s winner. He followed that up with several wonderful stories about her and the way she selflessly gives to everyone, especially children! He even wrote her a poem, “An Ode to Jen”. Now, that is the Prosper way!! As we move through 2014, I encourage each of you to think about ways that we can work together to continue to make Prosper the best town it can be. It’s an easy formula, really…start with a beautiful landscape, add amazing and caring people, an exemplary school district with spirit and pride bigger than the state of Texas, and finish with an attitude that we are family, eager to help each other, protect one another and cheer on our many accomplishments. We all came here for the “small town” feel and the pride…and this is how we grow and shape our community to continue to be just that!! We Are Prosper!! February | 2014

The Pride

Devotional - In His Presence

I love you. I really like it when those are the last words out of my mouth when my kids jump out of the car or my wife heads off to work. I love you. It sounds so much better than, “please listen to your teacher” or “we need more pomegranates.” I do get worried at times that so often repeated, those words might lose their meaning. I love you. English is such a limited language. In Greek, there are actually three words that we typically translate as love. Philia is the love that exists between good friends or siblings. Eros describes the kind of intimate physical affection that exists between a couple. In 1 Corinthians 13, Paul talks about how we can live together demonstrating a different kind of love: Agape. This love is unconditional and complete. Paul writes: Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self. Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have. Love doesn’t strut, Doesn’t have a swelled head, Doesn’t force itself on others, Isn’t always “me first,” Doesn’t fly off the handle, Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others, Doesn’t revel when others grovel, Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, Puts up with anything, Trusts God always, Always looks for the best, Never looks back, But keeps going to the end. Love never dies. (The Message) Saying I love you doesn’t get old, but words are certainly not enough. Candy, cards, flowers, and date nights are great, but the actions that truly express unconditional love were taught to us by God’s Son. He was a king, but he made himself a servant. He was perfect, but he made friends of the despised and outcast. He harmed no one, but forgave everyone. He sacrificed his life, so that we can find life everlasting. Jesus came to show us how much God loves us and how we can make that love a reality. How would our lives, our families and our community look different if we gave the cards and candy a rest and followed Jesus’ example instead? Doug Kriz is the pastor of Grace Christian Church, a young and growing congregation for Prosper. Join us for worship Sundays at 10:30 at Baker Elementary School. www.graceprosper.org.

24 | Live & PROSPER Magazine

February | 2014

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Bite-Sized

Valentine’s Day

Treats Get to the Heart of the Holiday N

othing says “I love you” on Valentine’s Day more than heart-shaped, homemade treats. This year, try individual treats to make each gift recipient feel extra special. You’ll love the fact that they are simple to create. “Though small in size, mini-treats deliver a big message to all of the Valentines on your list,” said Nancy Siler, vice president of consumer affairs at Wilton. “Decorating these treats is quick and easy thanks to Candy Melts Candy – a pantry staple for any decorating project.” With a little help from Wilton you can bake to your heart’s desire this Valentine’s Day. We Heart Valentine’s Day – Hearts are by far the top shape of the season. From giant heart-shaped cookie pans to cookie cutters to Heart Pop pans, Wilton has a variety of bakeware options. A Sweet Heart for Your Sweetheart – Create mini cakes, brownies or cookies with the Bite Sized Heart Dessert Shell pan. Once cooled, drizzle with red, pink and white colored Candy Melts candy for the perfect personalized heart-shaped treat. Homemade Box of Chocolates – Make your own candies using shaped Candy Molds. Choose between hearts, lips, flowers and more. Fill the mold with the Candy Melts candy, color and flavor of your choice, and watch as you melt the hearts of your Valentines. Give a Little Love – Valentine’s Day is a top gift-giving holiday. Give your made-from-the-heart homemade treats the gourmet treatment with festive packaging like heart-shaped boxes, colorful gift bags and brightly colored baking cups. For more Valentine’s Day recipes, baking tips and gift inspiration, visit www.wilton.com. Chocolate Heart Petit Fours Makes about 40 mini cakes 1 cup all-purpose flour 1/2 cup cocoa powder 3/4 teaspoon baking powder 1/2 teaspoon baking soda 1/2 teaspoon salt 6 tablespoons (3/4 stick) butter, softened 2/3 cup firmly-packed brown sugar 1 egg 1/2 teaspoon pure vanilla extract 2/3 cup buttermilk 1/2 cup peanut butter, chocolate fudge ice cream topping or cherry pie filling 2 containers (14 ounces each) Chocolate or Vanilla Icing Glaze (optional) Jumbo hearts sprinkles (optional) Preheat oven to 350°F. Prepare 24 cavity bite-sized heart dessert shell pan with Cake Release pan coating. In large bowl, combine flour, cocoa, baking powder, baking soda and salt. In large bowl, beat butter and sugar with electric mixer until light and fluffy. Add egg and vanilla extract; beat until well combined. Alternately add flour mixture and buttermilk in three additions, beating until just combined. Spoon one tablespoon batter into each pan cavity. Bake 9-11 minutes or until tops of cakes spring back when touched. Cool in pan 10 minutes. Cool completely on cooling grid. To decorate, place cakes on cooling grid with cookie pan below. Pipe 1/2 teaspoon peanut butter, chocolate fudge or cherry pie filling into shell; fill only to top of cavity. If desired, warm glaze according to package instructions; carefully pour over shell and tap pan to smooth. If desired, add jumbo hearts sprinkles.

26 | Live & PROSPER Magazine

February | 2014

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Dressed Up & Dressed Down Valentine’s Day Looks Casual

• Look 1: Change out a sweatshirt and jeans with a sweater and colored pants for a simple, yet more polished look.

• Look 2: A floral blouse hints at the holiday and trouser jeans are a great fit for all body types because they fall straight from the widest part of the hip to elongate the legs. Style tip: Florals made up of colors found in nature are timeless.

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Work

• Choose a color from the red or purple family, like soft pink, violet, or orchid. Pair your choice with neutrals and simple jewelry to make the look “work appropriate.” Style tip: Same-color tights and shoes lengthen the leg for a long, lean look.

Date Night

• Utilize your little black dress. Add a bold statement necklace to take the look from day to night. & SPA

• Style tip: Clear lip liner will result in fool-proof lines for red lips, and the classic red manicure is always in style.

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Caitlin Skidmore writes Greater Than Rubies (greaterthanrubies.net), a life & style blog, where she teaches women how to remix their closets. She also works as the Program Development Coordinator for Cornerstone Assistance Network of North Central Texas, based here in Prosper.

WeAreProsper.com |

Communicating Your Love on Valentine’s Day and Every Day by Marla J. Thomas, PhD

When asked a simple (yet loaded) question such as, “What’s the key to a successful relationship?,” I’d venture to say many people would readily reply with a voice of confidence, “communication.” Sure, that’s a logical response. In fact, I’d agree, communication is critical to forming healthy, successful, lasting relationships. Sadly, many of us may be all too familiar with poor communication, which comes in many different, hurtful forms: nagging, interrupting, blaming, criticizing, “giving the silent treatment,” “digging up the past,” and on-and-on. Yet, what is good, healthy communication and how do we put it into words, let alone actions? Sounds easier said than done, right? Healthy communication is not a box of chocolates, candy hearts, flowers, cupids, or something we buy just on Valentine’s Day. Don’t get me wrong, I love receiving roses just as much as anyone! Yet, healthy communication goes far beyond something that can be bought. Rather, healthy communication is something we use every day with everyone we encounter and we are likely to continue polishing our communication skills throughout our entire life. Thus, communicating your love is not something reserved just for Valentine’s Day, but every day! In a nutshell, healthy communication is respectfully, honestly, and assertively conveying ones thoughts and feelings to another. Sounds easy, right? Below are a few healthy communication skills to get you started.

28 | Live & PROSPER Magazine

Set the Stage for Success Be tactful in your timing. Be tactful in your timing and “schedule in” a time when both individuals are available, relatively calm and rested, and open to communication. Keep the acronym H.A.U.L.T. in mind and avoid sensitive conversations when either participant is feeling Hungry, Lonely, Angry, or Tired. Choose a spot conducive to communication. Choose a spot that is comfortable and sufficiently private for both individuals. Such spots might include a walking trail, your living room, a favorite coffee shop, or the car. To ensure privacy, avoid sensitive conversations in front of children, relatives, friends, or neighbors. Given body language plays a large role in communication, ideally, communicate face to face. Eliminate distractions. Show interest in communicating and respect for the other person by eliminating distractions and giving your full attention. For example, turn off electronics, put the kids to bed, and clear your mind of other demands, such as work and bills. Stick to the topic. Agree to discuss one topic at a time and stay on-topic. Refrain from “digging up the past” or getting sidetracked by miscellaneous topics. February | 2014

Set a time limit. “Marathon conversations” that go in circles at length are typically draining and reach a point that is counterproductive. Thus, at the outset, consider what needs to be discussed and agree on a reasonable time limit (typically 15-30 minutes). If a resolution is not reached when the time limit is up, agree to take a break and reconvene at a later time. Jot down any remaining thoughts, as doing so will “jog your memory” when you reconvene and allow both individuals to “release” any remaining thoughts, feelings, or frustrations. Actively Listen Use body language. Listening not only involves hearing what someone is saying, but actively conveying genuine interest, which is largely accomplished through body language. Effective body language includes maintaining eye contact, leaning forward, nodding to show understanding/ agreement/encouragement, providing gentle touch (e.g., pat on back, hug, handholding), and refraining from body language that might convey negative messages, such as crossed arms, clenched fists, fidgeting, eye rolling, or avoidance of eye contact. Take turns. Agree to take turns talking and refrain from interrupting each other. When the other person is talking, be present, listen to their words, fully focus on what they are trying to convey, and be patient (don’t interrupt). Summarize and validate to show understanding. We all like to be heard and, more so, understood. Summarization and validation are tools used to convey that you understand what the other person is saying, which can also prevent misunderstandings and argumentation. Keep in mind, conveying that you understand does not imply that you agree, just that you understand the other person’s point of view. Summarization simply involves paraphrasing or repeating back what the other person has said (e.g., “So, what I’m hearing you say is…”). Validation goes a step further to “check-in” and confirm whether or not your summary/understanding is correct (e.g., “Am I hearing you right?” “Am I on the right track?”).

ic and highly rewarding. The components of an I-statement include: “I feel ____ when ¬____ because ___. I would like it if ¬¬____.” Change an unhealthy “You-Statement” into a healthy “I-Statement” You-Statement I-Statement “You always interrupt me!” “I feel angry and frustrated when I’m interrupted because I think what I have to say is important and deserves to be heard. I would like it if you’d let me share my thoughts uninterrupted.” State your needs. Especially when communicating with someone you know well, such as a spouse or family member, it is easy to fall victim to the mind-reading expectation. That is, expecting others to read your mind and know what you are thinking/feeling. This often causes unnecessary frustration and conflict. Thus, remind yourself that others are unable to “read” your thoughts/feelings, so state them clearly. For example, “What I really need from you is…” “It would mean a lot to me if…” “My hope is that…” Ask questions. To ensure understanding and avoid “jumping to conclusions” or making inaccurate assumptions, respectfully ask questions. For example, “What do you think about…?” “How do you feel when…?” Use the rewind button. No one is perfect and, at times, we say things that “come out the wrong way.” When this happens, it is best to stop, apologize, ask for forgiveness, and ask to “rewind.” For example, “I’m sorry, that came out wrong and was hurtful. Can I ‘rewind’ and try that again?” Take an adult time out. Sometimes even adults need time outs. When one or both individuals become heated and cannot reach agreement, it is usually best to take an adult time out. That is, take a deep breath, agree to disagree, walk away, and reconvene another day/time.

Communicate Stay calm. Relax your muscles. Take deep breaths. Use a calm tone of voice and avoid sarcastic/angry tones. Although this can be challenging, remember to deescalate in response another’s escalation. For example, if the person you are communicating with begins to raise their voice, do the opposite by taking a deep breath and using a lower, gentler tone. Stop and Think. Try to avoid impulsively blurting out something you might regret by reminding yourself to use the 5 second rule. That is, give yourself 5 seconds to take a deep breath, gather your thoughts, and reply respectfully. Start with the positive. We are all human and, whether you are giving or receiving feedback, it can be challenging. Thus, keep in mind the 3-to-1 ratio and remember it is much easier to accept 1 critical comment when it is preceded by 3 positives. That is, provide 1-3 positives before providing 1 critical comment. Avoid always/never “You” statements. Always/Never You-statements, such as, “You always forget to pay the bills” or “You never spend time with the kids,” are typically inaccurate, hurtful, and put the other person on the defensive, thus hindering healthy communication. In most instances, it is best to avoid using You-statements and, instead, use I-statements. Use “I” statements. I-statements are the cornerstone of healthy communication, as they allow individuals to take responsibility for their own thoughts/feelings, as well as assertively communicate those thoughts/feelings in an open and honest manner without blaming or hurting others. Many people feel awkward when first attempting to use I-statements, but with a little practice and persistence, the skill is likely to become automatProsper’s Person of the Year

A Few Good References • • • •

The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate – by Gary Chapman The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work – by John Gottman & Nan Silver Why Marriages Succeed or Fail…And How You Can Make Yours Last – by John Gottman The Relationship Cure: A Five Step Guide to Strengthening Your Marriage, Family, and Friendships – by John Gottman & Joan DeClaire

Seeking Help For those needing professional support in developing healthy communication patterns and relationships, consider talking with your primary care physician and/or seeking help from a mental health provider. WeAreProsper.com |

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