LivingLBI June 2014

LivingLBI Gazette June 2014

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Nourishing Thoughts It’s here! There’s no hiding from it now! No denying the temperatures and no pulling the covers over our heads in the hopes that it is still dark at 7:00 AM. It’s time to shed the winter coats, to let go of the over-sized jackets, and to accept that it is time to show some skin...the skin we live in.

The skin that covers our bodies and keeps us safe. The skin we may feel ashamed of has got to be embraced, not hated.

It is ours!

Not all of us like to show our bodies. Some of us might have, once. In another lifetime. Some of us are modest, no matter what shape we are in today--or yesterday. As summer arrives, so do the smells and tastes and textures of foods that command our attention and remind us of summers when memories were interwoven with what we ate, where we ate, with whom we ate, and how much we ate.

Ah...a box of Cracker Jack...with that little sailor on the box and the prize, usually at the bottom. Had to eat it all to reach it. The snack kept me company when on the beach.

One unforgettable summer I learned to enjoy a Nathan’s hot dog with ketchup and mustard. I close my eyes and hear the jingle of the Good Humor ice cream cart. And, the friendly old man in the white suit who buried his head deep in the ice box looking for my favorite, that toasted almond pop with the chocolate bar in the center. Fireworks over the ocean were more spectacular with a chocolate-dipped frozen banana in my hand. And some taffy in my pockets.

When I want to ride out the “crave wave” that threatens to swallow me, I take a minute and figure out what I am craving. I also figure out if, perhaps, I am missing, someone, too. Someone in whose company I was when I enjoyed my first frozen custard. Where I was when the whole world smelled like deep fried cheese sticks. And an early summer night was as forever as waves slapping the shore. Is it possible to sometimes enjoy the foods I miss by revisiting the childhood memories I am missing more than the smell of grease and the sticky candy that just doesn’t taste the same as it did decades ago, anyway?

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See you on the boardwalk!

“Nurture your mind with great thoughts.”

--Benjamin Disraeli Written by Judy Horowitz www.senoraonline.com

Lisa Ball

Sales & Rentals 2909 Long Beach Blvd.

Ship Bottom, NJ 08008 Toll Free 1-800-LBI-4-SUN MaryAllen.com

Business 609-494-0700 Cell 609-312-9747 Fax 609-361-1410 Lisa@LivingLBI.com

Hair . Nails . Make Up . Weddings Open Year Round 115 South Bay Ave Beach Haven, NJ

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Read online at LivingLBIGazette.com

Find Your

Passion

After Losing Your Job

Losing your job is very stressful. At first, you may be hopeful that a new job is right around the corner. As the months pass by, you realize that your life has dramatically changed--forever. It may be difficult to accept that your years of prior work experience may not be useful in your search for employment. If you are applying for a job that is not in your field, you may be told again and again that you are not qualified or you are overqualified.

When I earned my degree, I thought that I was safe. My mind was set on my career and I worked hard gaining experience in my field. But when I lost my job, as did thousands of others who also had years of experience, it was clear to me that I had to find a new passion. The career I worked so hard to secure had drifted from my grasp.

Fear, depression and desperation forced me into taking jobs that I despised. Mindless jobs at minimum wage. I put on a brave face, hid my humiliation and off to work I went. How I missed my old office job. I wasn't used to punching a time clock and taking fifteen minute breaks. But most of all, I wasn't used to being broke. I was making around twenty percent of what I used to make. I had to think of a way out of this situation.

The first thing I did was change my attitude. Instead of dreading work, I chose to focus on my co-workers. We were all in the same boat. Forming a bond with them helped me to stop feeling sorry for myself. Work became an opportunity to make my new friends. Once my mind was free of dread, I was able to rediscover the old me. I worked with kids that were just starting out. Full of energy and passion, they reminded me that the future is full of excitement. I also worked with older people that had also lost high paying jobs and were also scraping by trying to survive. They showed me that I was not alone. Knowing that they also had a previous life helped me to define people by their strengths and not their job title.

The old me was full of optimism. Slowly I revived my old passions. I began painting and writing again. And when my paintings started to sell, my self esteem started to reappear.

Passion makes your mind strong and your heart happy.

Eventually, I started a home based business. Although I'm still broke, I am extremely happy. Losing your job doesn't mean losing your mind. Follow these steps to re-capture your passion.

1. Accept the fact that losing your job will change your life.

It is up to you whether it will change for the better. Think of it as a do-over. What do you want to do for the rest of your life? Start day dreaming. If you didn't have to worry about money, what career would you choose? Sometimes we choose a career for the wrong reasons. We pick a career based on how much money we will make or what

our family wants us to choose. After a few years, the dream job turns into a nightmare and is nothing like we expected. Sometimes we simply change our minds. I met an operating room nurse who quit her job to work in a dress shop. She needed to reduce the stress in her life. Working in the operating room was so stressful, she was physically ill. After years of wearing scrubs, she was now enjoying dressing up and going to work. Eventually she opened her own shop.

2. Forget the past Dwelling on the past will only prevent you from moving forward. Embrace the challenge. Starting over is exciting!

Redefine yourself; your job does not define you. Where do you see yourself in five years? Plan a new future.

A friend of mine became a lawyer when she was fifty four years old. Her children were grown, and she finally had the time to concentrate on school. She could have easily made excuses for not pursuing her new career. She had no experience and had great difficulty getting into a school.

She was so determined that she started off in a small community college taking night classes until she graduated with an associate degree. After 14 years, she finally made it!

3. Change your attitude Losing your job is awful. But, put things into perspective.

You are not the only person to have ever lost a job. Count your blessings. Are you healthy? Are you loved? Do you have friends? What more do you need? Money is not everything. Learn to live with less, and spend more time with your family. Money is nice but if you are not happy, money isn't going to matter. When I was working fifty hour weeks and commuting two hours a day, I hardly saw my kids. Now, I have plenty of time. Remember, time is money! I no longer need an expensive car since I spend such little time in the car. My spending habits have greatly changed because my lifestyle has changed. Simple pleasures replace shopping and traveling. I'm quite content to laugh with friends in my own backyard.

4. Find your passion What do you love to do? Turn your passion into a career.

When you love what you do, it won't feel like work. Even if you have to temporarily take a mindless minimum wage job, find time for your passion. I know a man that gave up an engineering career to pursue a career in music. He plays in a band and sells instruments. He is a happy man. His hobby paid off, and he makes a good living at playing!

Losing your job may do wonders for your mind! Life is full of twists and turns; just follow the path to happiness. Focus on your passion, and the money will follow. Lisa Ball

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An Unapologetic Voice

I am a parent. I work closely with families. I am a teacher. In some ways, I have been a devoted teacher since kindergarten career day, some sixty years ago. I proudly announced my plan in front of my classmates as a gentle June breeze blew and the aroma of freshly cut grass filled my senses. Many of the children in my class aspired to “lofty” goals, dreaming of becoming astronauts, actresses, baseball players and president.

My father, himself a brilliant teacher, whispered in my ear as he tucked me in that night, that as long as I continued to enjoy learning with others, I would continue to be a good teacher. He also was sure that as long as I enjoyed teaching others, I would continue to enjoy learning with them.

As the third year of my B9 School closes for the summer, I share what I continue to learn from families and their children. Children should not be bribed to learn

PHG

what they need to learn. They must not be bribed to do their homework, either. Bribery quickly deteriorates into emotional blackmail, and the parent becomes hostage to an increasingly defiant, manipulative, and petulant learner. Threats and warnings become the leverage in the power struggle. The issue of mastery of subject matter and the discipline to see a difficult task through to its completion gets lost in a jungle of time and energy wasted on avoidance of learning.

Mastery will always be a sweeter reward than costly vacations and electronic toys. Understanding of difficult concepts will be much more thrilling than parental approval. Children need to be loved as they struggle and stay on task; they are not learning in order that they feel loved. They are learning to be ready for an increasingly complex world that awaits the ready. The willing. The able. The polite. The gracious. The grateful. It did, when I first began teaching, and it still does, some four decades later.

“We carve out the world with words; we sculpt our world with deeds.”--ljg

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Just Ask Darla

Dear Darla, A growing friendship of two years recently ended. My friend and I did not argue, nor we did betray one another.

My friend simply stopped calling me.

She let me know that this was going to happen, but it took several days for me to feel the loss. I gave myself permission to grieve. After a week of not being in contact with me, she called. She acted as if there had been no change. Something has changed. My feelings have changed.

I am not angry. I am also no longer sad.

I just no longer feel what I did before.

What should I do?

Ready to Move On Dear Ready, One must learn to honor-with respect and trust-all of one’s feelings. We owe ourselves that in every moment and aspect of our lives. If you have grown from your friendship, if you both have enjoyed a trusting and mutually pleasant time together, it is perfectly alright to allow this relationship to become a memory. It has always been our choice and power to decide whom we wish to befriend as well as the boundaries of the friendship. A friendly campfire needs more wood to keep burning. Left alone, it gently dies. If you simply change one behavior that kept your friendship alive, your friend should sense that her distancing herself from you extinguished the fire of a friendship that had warmed both of your lives.

Wish you luck,

Darla

Aries ~ March 21 - April 19 Enjoy the longer days; energy and time can work as a good team at work or on the playing field; be sure to get enough rest and good nutrition to last all day.

Taurus ~ April 20 May 20 Don’t allow temptations of summer to lead you astray from your careful and healthful patterns of eating and drinking; stay close to long-term goals that have kept you in control all winter.

Gemini ~ May 21 - June 20 Enjoy the time you will have in July to relax a bit. Your restless spirit can drive teammates away; let others help you stay the course and, perhaps, introduce you to a new friend.

Cancer ~ June 21 - July 22 Sunny days should soften some dark thoughts left over from a winter of homebound isolation.

Let your sense of humor shine and look forward to a month of smooth sailing.

Leo ~ July 23 - Aug 22 You’ve worked hard all winter and deserve to dominate the playing field this month. If you’ve done your homework, take that leadership role at the workplace--diplomatically, of course.

Virgo ~ Aug 23 - Sept 22 Tenacity is your strong suit, as a summer of excellence begins for you. Careful, though--celebrate every step of the way; don’t allow perfectionist patterns to hold you back.

Libra ~ Sept 23 - Oct 22 As summer begins to sizzle and sparkle for you, all who know you will see your sense of fairness and calm as friendships face summer stress and work can grow heated.

Scorpio ~ Oct 23 - Nov 21 Use your passionate sting for good! Temper your ambition with control as you enter a steamy season of struttin’ your stuff. Small risks may be a good idea.

Sagittarius ~ Nov 22 - Dec 21 Truthfulness is good, but not if it is very painful.

Temper your aim with a smile. We all have done the best we could this winter. Gracious will help you gain!

Capricorn ~ Dec 22 - Jan 19 Not a good time for a detour now. Stay close to the big picture you see for you. Don’t lose sight of your dreams! That is excitement enough for you. Buy one summer item the color of wow!

Aquarius ~ Jan 20 - Feb 18 Stay on track with your creative endeavors. Your apple cart can’t be upset by volatility. Ignore any pain that could deter you from doing what is right for you.

Pisces ~ Feb 19 - March 20 Find your place in the “give and take” of that relationship that could become unbalanced because of your gentle side. Careful around temptation at that gathering

Be Happy

Feeling sad today. Don’t really know why but I really don’t want to feel this way. Well, that is the first step! THINK your way happy. REMEMBER what it was like to feel happy. SMILE! When you smile, you start feeling happier.

Scientific studies show that when you smile there seems to be a feedback loop. They don’t fully understand why but it stands to reason....when you’re happy and you know it, then your face will surely show it!

Do your own little experiment: smile for one hour and mark down your happiness level from 1 - 10. Then make a sad face for one hour. Mark you happiness level again, and compare the results. I’m sure you will see a huge difference! ☺

Lisa Ball

Motivation

Oh my, stressed again. I just want to keep the covers over my head and not face the day. How do you go from a wonderful dreamland to harsh reality? VERY SLOWLY.....

Slipping out of bed into a nice warm shower. Then pampering myself with a nice breakfast; oh how nice.

OK. I think I can handle the day now.

I’ll do the quick things first. Once I start getting something done, it is easier to finish. Tackling a long list is way more difficult than a bunch of little lists. Break your list up. Make a list of things that you can get done quickly; then, get them out of the way. All you’ll have left is the few things that may take a little longer to complete, but you’ll feel so much happier if you have less to finish.

Good luck.

Lisa Ball

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Available at www.LBImap.com

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LivingLBI

Kids

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Change is a good thing!

Most homes in the 1930’s were heated by coal fires, and the soot dirtied the walls constantly. A family-owned soap company in Ohio created a putty out of flour, water, salt, boric acid and mineral oil which was perfect for cleaning the walls without damaging the wallpaper.

The product was modestly successful, but lost fashion after WWII--thanks to natural gas replacing coal in many homes, and the popularity of washable, vinyl-based wallpaper. With the company on the brink of bankruptcy, they discovered a nursery school using the wallpaper cleaner to make Christmas ornaments. The company quickly rebranded the putty as “Play-Doh” and launched it as an educational product.

Pet Tips

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