HERE WE GO AGAIN

The dive shop is about 3 times the size of the one in Belize. The anticipation of the first dive is half exciting, half nerve racking. Things are getting very real right now. A gush of nervousness rushes through my body. Am I ready? Bobby’s chill attitude is remarkable. I definitely need to take a leaf out of his book. This anxiety thing is literally making me physically sick. Andre and Julia are trying on wetsuits. Mike is digging through the selection of fins.

A question I almost forgot about pops into my head: “Mike, how do you spell your name? You need to sign the paperwork for certification”, - the pen in my hand is ready to spell. “Actually, your instructor will sign it”, - Mike’s voice sounds matter-of-fact and chill. Too chill.

A wave of unpleasant shock runs through my entire body. An instructor? What instructor? Mike assured he would be personally certifying us. Why the change?

“Are you not the diving instructor?” - it takes me all the willpower to keep my voice chill and matter-of-fact as well. “Nope”, - Mike’s smile doesn’t come across as genuine whatsoever.

The rage inside is gaining power. My mind is racing through a billion of possible options. The sickness and sharp pain feel like a treacherous stab right now. This is the last thing I need. My mind needs to be clear. The dude lied. Flat out lied. What now? Do I cancel everything all together? Who is this mysterious instructor? Are we safe? Maybe this gut feeling was not wrong after all.

“You ok?” - Bobby’s searching eyes are trying to read the answer off my face. He knows me too well. “This is a big deal, yes, but we can choose how to react to this”. The fury inside is hard to control. A standard “let-me-deal-with-it-my-way” smile settles on my face: “Or we can f*** it all and walk away. You don’t have to dive. He lied”. My emotions are getting the better of me at the moment.

“We are already here. Let’s get it done and focus on other great things we have ahead of us”, - Bobby’s always balanced demeanor is remarkably calming. It takes a mere fraction of a second for his words to sink in. He is right. This needs to be done and over with. My brain makes a mental note to get more background info on this Mike guy.

“Good job guys! You’ve done so well!” - Virginia’s words (our instructor) get muffled by the sound of the moving boat. My fingers are digging through the bag. Advil. I know I brought some Advil somewhere. The pain that started in the morning is unbearable. My entire body is now on fire. Focus. I need to focus. And get this over with. My mind deviates to a few minutes earlier and a smile spreads across my face. Bobby’s managing his claustrophobia incredibly well. I’m so proud of him. It takes a very strong person to just get under the water; and he is excelling at it. Another stab of sharp pain brings me back to reality. Fingers find the Advil bottle and unscrew the lid. Ok, 10 min or so and it should get better…