18 Chapter One
the persistent presence of a few genetically distinct cells in an organism. This most commonly results from the exchange of cells across the placenta. The connection between mother and child may be even deeper than thought. After My Great Loss The period following the news of my daughter’s death was one of the most difficult times in my entire life. Perhaps because I was in a weakened state, having just gone through a surgical procedure, I experienced a severe reaction and only later realized that I had gone into shock. I felt numb, as if I were seeing and hearing what was going on around me from a distance. I did come out of this initial state in only a few hours, feeling as if someone had splashed a bucket of ice water on me to wake me up. The staff at the rehabilitation center were very sympathetic. They moved the other bed out of my room and brought in extra chairs for my friends and family who came to offer me support. I was unable to sleep or eat much during the next few days that I spent there. The reaction to this loss was much more severe than what I had experienced with previous losses. The entire first two years after my daughter’s death were difficult, and I cried at least once every day during that period. There were some things I did during that time, however, that were helpful. We are fortunate to have an excellent community grief center in the area in which I live, and I took advantage of their free services. Initially I started seeing a grief counselor at the center, one who was very well trained and helpful. I really looked forward to the sessions. Even though at the beginning I cried for most of the time we were together, I always felt better when I left. The second thing I did at the community grief center was join a group of parents who had lost adult children. I was fortunate that the group leader not only encouraged us to share our feelings but gave us helpful information as well. It was tremendously comforting to hear
