PRAISE FOR YOUR GUIDE TO SELF-DISCOVERY
“A rather intriguing guidebook to assist those who wish to take a deeper dive into self-transformation and mind body healing. It will help you discover more about your inner and outer lives. The book takes you on a wonderful and exciting journey from karma to family constellations, dreams, NLP, and Jungian archetypes providing you with a map and guide to the journey of awakening. I highly recommend this book; it’s a delight.”
—Ronald A. Alexander, Ph.D, executive director of OpenMind
Training and author of Core Creativity and Wise Mind Open Mind
“Your Guide to Self-Discovery is a remarkable and fun book as it helps the reader to analyze and better understand themselves…and enables them to find ways to heal and become their best version of self. Chapters expand on topics such as emotional intelligence, karma, astrological signs, past lives, archetypes, enneagrams, and auras … Georgina nailed it with this one. Your Guide to Self-Discovery is destined to be a whole lot of fun for many readers.”
—Mark Mincolla Ph.D, best-selling author of Whole Health and The Way of Miracles
“What a treat to own and read this book … Georgina takes us on a much needed and timely voyage of self-awareness along with world experts via the varied modalities presented within the pages of the book.”
—Carole Matthews, psychic medium
“Georgina Cannon curates a lovely one-stop-shop of experts to cater to anyone seeking to delve into different avenues of self-exploration. The unique aspects of subjects such as animal guides, Akashic Records, and angel connections offer us the opportunity to explore possible new worlds in our evolving human process … Treat yourself to the gift of Cannon’s book that encapsulates so many interesting additions for your virtual toolbox.”
—Bernadette Winters Bell, LMSW PLLC, host of the wellness
podcast From Heartache to Healing and Hope
“Georgina has blended the line between science and healing with her heartfelt love of human beings. It’s a love that travels through her written and spoken words.”
—Brit Elders, CEO of ShirleyMacLaine.com“Georgina’s honesty and integrity shines through in everything she says and does. She is truly a professional who has learned the very valuable mix of respect for fellow humans when they search for the truth and she satisfies their thirst for knowledge, like only she can.”
—Rob McConnell, XZone Radio host and producer“This unique book teaches the reader that they are indeed one of a kind. It guides the reader to find out as the author puts it ‘all aspects of you.’ Georgina Cannon has brought together an amazing group of experts in their fields who show with simple guidance ways to find what their personal gifts are with everything from palm reading to astrology to your birth order. At the end the reader has a full picture of their many facets making them who they are.”
—Lynn Andrews, New York Times bestselling author of the Medicine Woman series“If you’re on a journey to discover yourself and reach your full potential, Your Guide to Self Discovery is a must-read The curated collection of protocols from experts around the world is a true standout … Reading this book is like having a personal mentor by your side, guiding you through the complex landscape of self-discovery. The writing is warm, approachable, and infused with the author’s own personal experience, making it a relatable and enjoyable read This book is a must-have companion for anyone looking to tap into their full potential.”
—Sid Goldberg, two-time Emmy award-winning directorYour Guide to Self-Discovery: Twenty Ways to Find the True You © 2023 by Georgina Cannon. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever, including internet usage, without written permission from Llewellyn Publications, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.
First Edition
First Printing, 2023
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Introduction
1
Chapter 1
Birth Order and How It Shapes Your Personality by Dr. Donna Marks
5
Chapter 2
Numerology and You
by David Shephard17
Chapter 3
Recurring Dreams and What They Say about Us by Dr. Kelly Sullivan
Walden23
Chapter 4
Are You Emotionally Intelligent? by Beryl
Comar33
Chapter 5
Your Hands Tell the Truth
by Lisa Greenfield
41
Chapter 6
Karma and How You Can Change It
by Georgina Cannon57
Chapter 7
Discovery through Astrology by Kathy Biehl
63
Chapter 8
What Is Your Creative Superpower? by Lee-Anne McAlear
73
Chapter 9
Family Constellations by Judy Wilkins-Smith
81
Chapter 10
Find Your Animal Guide
by Dr. Joy “Granddaughter Crow” Gray
87
Chapter 11
What You Brought from Your Past Lives by Georgina Cannon
95
Chapter 12
Discover Your Archetype by Dr. Paulette Kouffman Sherman
101
Chapter 13
Reading Faces to Understand People
by Naomi Tickle
111
Chapter 14
Understanding and Using Enneagram by Marta Spirk
117
Chapter 15
You and Your Relationships by Georgina Cannon
125
Chapter 16
How to SWOT Your Personal Goals by Kim Caughlin
133
Chapter 17
Opening Your Akashic Records by Maureen J. St. Germain
141
Chapter 18
Making Sense of Your Senses with NLP by Mary Ligon
147
Chapter 19
Your Angel Connections by Crystal Pomeroy
155
Chapter 20
Your Aura, the Colors, and Their Meanings by Richard Webster
163
Conclusion: The Total of You
173
Contributor Bios
175
Introduction
When you read your horoscope in the paper, or have a MyersBriggs personality test done during a job interview, have you ever wondered if that’s all there is? I believe there’s a longing in most of us to find out more about ourselves. What makes us tick? What are the strengths we have that we don’t know about? It can be expensive and time-consuming to find answers from all the different experts. It was that thought that inspired me to gather these experts and put this book together. That way, you, the reader, can access the wisdom and expertise of all the specialists—right here within this book.
In the twenty-five years I have been working with clients and teaching students at the University of Toronto, I’ve noticed that most people have no idea who they really are. Yes, they know their name, age, and the work they do. Sometimes people know what motivates them but rarely what trips them up. They may know what they believe they want out of life. Not many understand their life purpose or how they can best contribute. They are aware of their day-to-day life but have a hard time exploring other strengths and possibilities they may have.
In my last class of fifty people who were from all careers and all walks of life and wanted to learn hypnosis and past-life regression facilitation, I asked how many of them had explored numerology, birth order, astrology, or the enneagram to find out more about themselves. Two people said they had checked out these topics. A few had their astrology charts drawn up, a couple had
purchased books on numerology or spirit guides, and one person explained they had their EI (Emotional Intelligence level) tested by the company they work for. The others complained these things are too expensive, or the explanations are too complicated, so they didn’t bother. They said they’d like to know, but who has the time or funds to be able to those things? That’s when I decided to write this book. I contacted some of the most popular experts worldwide, who teach or work with clients to help them find all the facets of their best self, and asked them to help contribute.
With guidance from these experts within the pages of this book, you can now access tools to help understand the many parts of you easily and with little effort. For instance, in the astrology chapter, you will discover a wider look at some strengths and life challenges. In the numerology chapter, you’ll find that your numbers count (pardon the pun!) and your name and birthday numbers add up to a greater understanding of yourself. Have some fun with the hand-reading chart—yes it works! I know I found out I was resilient. I knew I kept going no matter what, but didn’t realize it showed in my hands!
Are you an only child or one of three or four? Where are you in the birth order and how has that affected your life? In the chapter on birth order, you can find out how that works for you and the benefits and drawbacks of being the first, the middle, the youngest, or an only child. And there’s so much more! You want to find your spirit animal? There’s a chapter for that. Curious about what type of creative person you are? (Yes, you are creative! It just may show up differently for you.) Wonder what your dreams mean?
Interested in your past lives? There are chapters for all of those topics. Each chapter features an expert who helps reveal another aspect to assist you in having all the tools for a more successful and fulfilled life. The chapters also include various activities to summa-
rize what you’ve learned about yourself, so it’s suggested to keep a journal by your side as you work through this book. And, should you want to contact a specific expert to find out more about yourself, their contact information is listed at the end of the book. Take your time, have fun with this, chapter by chapter. Or skip a chapter or two if a subject doesn’t interest you. Hey, it’s not often we have all these experts in one place, and you can use their expertise when and how you want to. So choose, introduce yourself to your new self, and have fun. Discover all your many and varied facets. You’ll have a whole new take on life. From the experts to you.
CHAPTER 1
Birth Order and How It Shapes Your Personality
By Dr. Donna MarksDo you ever wonder how your birth order might have affected your personality? Since the beginning of trying to understand human psychology, particularly during the psychoanalysis school of thought with Sigmund Freud, experts have tried to explain birth order and its effects on a child’s personality. Birth order addresses the nature of a child—firstborn, second, third, and so forth—based on parenting styles and sibling relations with each birth. Freud thought firstlings (as was he) were the most well-adjusted, and his contemporary, Alfred Adler (a lastborn), saw the firstborn as neurotic for being “dethroned” and the second child the most well-adjusted.1 Since then, numerous theories have evolved to understand better how birth order affects everyone. Even though each person is a unique mixture of genes and life experiences, it’s undoubtable that environmental factors, including child placement, play a vital role in personality development. Keep in mind, disbanded families could face a whole new set of dynamics beyond the nuclear family.
1. Lily Snowden-Fine, “Settling the birth-order debate once and for all,” The Globe and Mail, March 16, 2017, https://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/parenting/settling-the-birth -order-debate-once-and-forall-parenting/article34322380/.
Firstborn
Fortunate or unfortunate for the firstborn, parents are on a learning curve. Their fears tend to drive them to overcompensate one way or another. Understandably, parenting for the first time is scary. Anyone that looks at a helpless newborn can see how fragile they are. But babies can pick up on a parent’s anxiety and, over time, can turn into neurotic people who are also afraid of making mistakes. Parents tend to put the child on a pedestal, adding additional pressure on the youth. Other problems include unrealistic expectations, micromanagement, and too much control. In these cases, children may feel they never live up to their parents’ expectations. This can lead to a great deal of friction over time. Children who aren’t allowed to make mistakes aren’t as confident or resilient as people who stumble and fall and learn from those experiences.
Firstborns are reliable, achievers, conscientious, cautious, and structured. If you’re a firstborn, these traits are a winning formula for personal and professional success. In addition, these steadfast traits build confidence in those who look up to you. As a result, you know how to make things happen. But just remember that everyone doesn’t march to the same beat. So, when it comes to leadership, it’s best to have more patience and lower expectations and, in some cases, have someone else be the boss.
One patient, Raymond, was a firstborn who felt he never lived up to his father’s expectations even though he was a successful real estate developer. His father was stable and present but overly strict with him and constantly pushed him to do better. “Straight A’s weren’t good enough,” said Raymond. “I had to be the best tennis player, the school president, and anything else my dad thought I should do.” Raymond started therapy because he recognized his unrealistic expectations for his own son, who was not fitting in with
the other boys his age. His son was what psychiatrist Dr. Eric Berne referred to as “the little professor”: the child is overly responsible and mature for his age and misses childhood’s playfulness. Raymond wanted to ensure his son had an enjoyable childhood, so he was willing to change his parenting style.
Middle Child
Three isn’t necessarily as lonely as one, but there’s always one person left out when there are three.
Sometimes, the eldest child resents the new baby, who seems to lessen the firstborn’s importance in the family. Once, in a parenting class, the teacher asked, “How would you like it if your spouse brought home someone and introduced them as a new husband/ wife to the family?” Of course, we all giggled, but the point was well taken. Parents need to be mindful that their children feel there’s plenty of love to go around and help the older child feel included and as important as the new baby. Also, “Why are they so nice to this new kid who doesn’t have to follow the same rules?” is the sentiment of the oldest sibling.
With less pressure, the middle child is less inclined to perfectionism and tends to be more easygoing. They are more independent and mobile because they can learn faster from the older child. They also tend to be rebellious, probably to get attention for being overshadowed by the other siblings. On the other hand, middle children are often friendly and strive for fairness in relationships. Being in the middle, they learn the art of negotiation and later turn this skill into a successful career.
A client, Sharon, remembers struggling with bewilderment during childhood, especially when her brother would push her for no apparent reason. But she also recognized she could get away
with less responsibility. She felt confused when she was either the center of attention or the one left out of playtime. Sharon’s experience as a middle child later helped her become a master negotiator. As an attorney who could see all sides of a conflict, she could amicably settle more cases than most attorneys.
Lastborn
The learning curve for parents has somewhat straightened by the time the last child comes around, but this doesn’t mean it’s smooth sailing. Being at the bottom can be a double bind. On the one hand, the youngest gets more attention, including positive and negative energy. The adoring baby might be loved by more people but can also be the emotional punching bag in the hierarchy—the brunt of jokes, pushed aside, overlooked. If the family is struggling financially, the lastborn might be susceptible to less attention and fewer resources.
The lastborn tends to be creative, loving, affectionate, and friendly, but also slow to pick up the slack. They also are good at getting people to cooperate.
As the youngest, Bobby felt like he was on easy street. He was hugged and lugged around with his siblings and he didn’t have the responsibilities the other kids endured. On the other hand, Bobby often thought he was the one who was teased the most. He was also left out of going places with his older brothers. Bobby experienced what it felt like to be an only child when his siblings left home. Later, Bobby used his experiences of mixed blessings to be a good boss and parent. He was affectionate and knew how to use his sense of humor without hurting others. He also had a sensitivity to making people feel included and a vital part of a family or work team.
What About Only Children?
Only children (such as myself) can have a mixture of traits resembling the youngest, eldest, and middle child. On the one hand, single children get a lot of attention—especially from doting grandparents—and may often be seen as “spoiled.” On the flip side, there’s no brother or sister to blame when something goes wrong. Also, since there’s no sibling to compromise with, it’s easy to become selfish. When you don’t have to fend for belongings, the art of sharing is not natural. Without siblings, we are forced to be more independent and learn for ourselves. Even though we are often lonely as children, we tend to remain loners even as adults in loving relationships. Self-sufficiency is an attribute until you need someone and there’s no one to ask for help.
Being an only child was particularly challenging for me. There were long bouts of loneliness, and when I did make friends, any bonds with other kids were only temporary because we were always on the move. There was no one to talk to or share comfort during traumatic moments. With both parents working, I didn’t have the pressures on me like the firstborn. As a result, I was an underachiever and more susceptible to big mistakes. Fortunately, I found another kind of parent through spirituality. My childhood pain was converted into compassion and empathy for others. My loneliness was transformed into breaking out of my shell and reaching out a hand to a new friend. Mindful of my tendency to be selfish, I learned how to care about other people as much as myself. This has served me well in my career as a psychotherapist for over thirty years.
Multiples
When two or more babies are born simultaneously, it creates a unique set of circumstances. The multiples would still follow the same birth order even with the same birthday. For example, if the twins are second and third after a firstborn, they would remain middle and lastborn with the same traits. Triplets would follow a second, middle, and last order. Beyond that, all multiples are in the middle, between first and last. However, if you’re not confused by now, firstborn multiples have their own birth order as first being more dominant and second having the traits of a lastborn, even though they’re born minutes apart.
At the same age, multiples can be highly competitive with each other. However, they can be closer to each other than anyone else. It can be a bit of an adjustment to realize that not all people want to be as close as their twin. Identical twins also enjoy the extra attention they receive from being noticed a lot.
Barbara and Bonnie were identical twins, firstborn and secondborn, respectively. Barbara tended to boss Bonnie around, which created a great deal of hidden resentment. They didn’t feel the pressures of being only children, and they always had each other for closeness. They both thought they could read each other’s minds and that no one understood them like they understood each other. As adults, things changed. Both twins became addicted to alcohol and drugs. Barbara got sober and stayed sober. Bonnie had no interest in sobriety. Nevertheless, they remained close despite the drastic differences in lifestyles.
Multiples have the blessing of having the closest thing to a true soulmate (or soulmates). To effortlessly be understood and relate to one another is a gift. Feeling that someone is always with you is a warm and cozy feeling growing up. Even with the birth order, there is a sense of belonging and connection no matter what.
Stepkids, aka Stepping Stones for Growth
According to Kevin Leman, author of several books on birth order, birth order in blended families becomes disorderly.2 The roles are the same, but increased competition for the position in the blended family creates new conflict, and families are often overwhelmed with negotiations. It’s difficult for parents to be unbiased regarding their biological children, often leading to unresolved disputes and hard feelings.
Parental order is another problem with blended families. Instead of two parents, there can be three or four. When kids go back and forth, they don’t fail to remind the other parent, “I don’t have to do that at the other house.” Guilt about the divorce or fear of losing the child’s affections prevents sound and objective parenting. This can create opportunities for chaos and manipulation, neither suitable for kids. While it’s a greater challenge, parents must face the birth order challenge and learn the art of negotiation and rules, regardless of how busy they are. First and foremost, for the sake of the kids, exes should put the past aside, take the time to meet (with a therapist if they disagree), and set consistent rules with sensitivity to each child’s blended birth order status. Birth order is difficult enough without having to switch back and forth. Parents who are consistent are teaching their kids good orderly direction.
Stepparenting was a significant component of Jim and Diane’s failed marriage. They each had one daughter. Jim felt guilty about the divorce and overcompensated by not disciplining his child. Diane tried to be objective, and consequently, her daughter suffered the injustice of the unfair treatment of being the only disciplined child.
www.chicagotribune.com/news/ct-xpm-2005-12-04-0512040474-story.html.
Jim’s daughter learned the art of manipulation, and Diane’s daughter acted out her anger. Diane sought therapy with her daughter, but Jim refused to participate. Over time, the conflicts became unmanageable, leading to a divorce. This could have been avoided by participating in a parenting plan that worked best for parents and kids. However, as previously mentioned, guilt and fear often prevent consistency and structure—what children need most.
Keep in mind that there are many variations of the above such as male and female order, sexuality factors, and such things that we don’t have time to discuss here. When children are spread out (like mine, eleven years apart), they may take on all the traits. Or, by the time the last is born, they may have only one teenager and four adults (two parents and two siblings) to love on them.
Putting Birth Order to Practice
No matter your birth order, you are a unique individual with value and a purpose. You can learn how to use your childhood experiences to your benefit by capitalizing on your assets and using them to transform any limiting personality characteristics. By understanding your birth order, you can develop better strategies for relating to other adults. For example, I recently spoke with a woman who knew how to place employees in particular positions based on their birth order. The same holds true when interviewing a boss or any other relationship. You can always ask about that person’s birth order and then you’ll know what’s the best fit for you.
As a parent, understanding birth order is a valuable tool in child-rearing. With a firstborn, you can relax by arming yourself with good parenting books and joining parent support groups. Also, by understanding that you have a naturally conscientious achiever on your hands, you can encourage these traits while teaching the
child that mistakes are learning tools, not personal failings. With middle children, be sensitive to their possible displacement in the family. Rebelliousness can be remediated with extra attention while satisfying their need for fairness. Lastborns need to feel they aren’t getting less for being last. If there’s a shortage of attention, this can be acknowledged and compensated in other ways—a little extra here and there. They should also be expected to do their fair share of responsibilities. An only child should be taught how to share and interact in healthy ways. Parents can make extra efforts to have plenty of playdates and social activities so that an only child isn’t lonely too often. With multiples, it’s essential to respect their closeness and encourage friendships with others. This helps them learn how to negotiate in relationships and cope with the reality of imperfections. With stepkids, parents must be sensitive to the disruption in birth order that affects the kids and be on the same page with parenting techniques. As in any family, the rules should apply to all. In all families, effective communication is the key to success. Family chats allow for open discussion of feelings and a forum for working out conflicts. It also provides a haven for individuals to see their strengths and work on their weaknesses. It is far better to grow in the arms of a loving family than later in an unpredictable environment without the art of negotiation and adaptability. No childhood is perfect, but that too is good because it helps prepare a child for life’s ups and downs. Regardless of birth order, when armed with the knowledge of their assets and liabilities, a child is better equipped to fare the storms while using their strengths to excel personally and professionally, regardless of life’s conditions. Well-adjusted kids do well in good and bad times because they already have childhood experiences to draw from irrespective of their strengths and weaknesses.
Self-Evaluation Questionnaire
1. Where are you in the birth order in your family? (Answer all that apply.)
2. If you’re a firstborn, which traits apply to you? Circle all that apply: self-motivated, type-A personality, responsible, conscientious, structured, cautious, achiever, hard on yourself, successful, perfectionist. List any other traits that you feel apply.
3. If you’re a middle child, which traits apply to you? Circle all that apply: easygoing, independent, mobile, fast learner, negotiator, feel left out, friendly, overshadowed, rebellious, fair. List any other traits that you feel apply.
4. If you’re a lastborn, which traits apply to you? Circle all that apply: affectionate, creative, hand off responsibility to others, sense of humor, sensitive to teasing, team builder, slow to step up. List any other traits that you feel apply.
5. If you’re an only, which traits apply to you? Circle all that apply: independent, a loner, self-centered, self-sufficient, rules-oriented, achiever, ambitious, challenged with compromising, need family. List any other traits that you feel apply.
6. If you’re a multiple, which traits apply to you? Circle all that apply: close, competitive, difficulty finding someone as close as twin/triplet/etc., understood, need less space, enjoy closeness, competitive. List any other traits (including those for all birth orders) that you feel apply.
7. Which characteristics do you like the most?
8. How can you use the least favorable attributes to work in your favor? For example, if you’re a perfectionist, start a career that requires detail mastery, such as editing, organizing, web design, architecture, etc.
9. If there were anything about your birth order personality traits you’d like to change, what would it be?
10. How can you re-parent yourself to make all your birth order traits work to your advantage?
“Reading this book is like having a personal mentor by your side.”
—Sid Goldberg, two-time Emmy award-winning director
Unravel the Fantastic Mystery of You and Start Living Your Best Life
Getting to know yourself has never been easier with this book’s practical introductions to twenty New Age approaches, such as karma, relationship counseling, and past lives. Each expert helps you reveal another facet of yourself, so you can acquire all the tools for a more successful and fulfilled life.
• Astrology by Kathy Biehl • SWOT Analysis by Kim Caughlin
• Emotional Intelligence by Beryl Comar
• Animal Guides by Granddaughter Crow
• Palmistry by Lisa Greenfield
• Neuro-Linguistic Programming by Mary Ligon
• Birth Order by Dr. Donna Marks
• Creative Superpower by Lee-Anne McAlear
• Angel Connections by Crystal Pomeroy
• Akashic Records by Maureen St. Germain
• Numerology by David Shepherd
• Archetypes by Dr. Paulette Sherman
• Family Constellations by Judy Wilkins Smith
• Enneagrams by Marta Spirk
• Face Reading by Naomi Tickle
• Recurring Dreams by Dr. Kelly Sullivan Walden
• Auras by Richard Webster
“Cannon has brought together an amazing group of experts in their fields.”
—Lynn Andrews, New York Times bestselling author of the Medicine Woman series
Georgina Cannon teaches hypnosis at the University of Toronto and privately teaches Past Life Regression and Life Between Lives facilitation. In 1998, she opened the Ontario Hypnosis Centre which grew to become Canada,s largest hypnosis clinic and school. She has spent more than twenty-four years working as a counselor and coach. Visit her at www.GeorginaCannon.com.
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