ISSUE #6
FEBRUARY 2016
the love issue
Local Riot is a collaborative magazine created by two girls who wanted to provide an outlet for the creative souls of the world to share their work, thoughts and opinions. It is a magazine for young people by young people and is a place to come together, a place to be free of ridicule, a place to make friends, a place to educate yourself, a express yourself, a place to be place to heard.
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MAN Y THAN KS TO: Allie for the cover photo. Millie for the contents photo. Everyone who contributed in ‘Your Say’. All those who submit work.
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CONTENTS
CLASSICS: monthly mixtape monthly favourites your say: LOVE pursuit of positivity audio sensual judging a book by its cover
FEATURES: letters i fear to send mythical infatuation ½ + ½ = a whole for the love of words more than this greek loves I wore my heart on the sleeve of his flannels how to say, “i love you” love is a strong word heart to heart
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8 9 10 19 28 47
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14 16 24 34 38 44 49
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LETTER FROM THE EDITORS
Hey Riots! Love is in the air this month at Local Riot as we present to you the love issue. What is love to you? Is it a warm feeling or a cold heartbreak? Is it seeing your dog after a long day? Or lying in bed next to your best friend? Whatever it is, we feel it too. So this month, we asked our contributors to pour their hearts onto a page and give it to us. We asked for raw, heartfelt and personal pieces, because love is raw, heartfelt and personal. Love is standing at a concert and feeling like the world is at peace. Love is your mum making you a warm drink on a frosty winters morning. Love is your friend lending you her favourite book. Love is omnipresent, love is powerful, love is not always kind but always an adventure. Love is you, because you are loved. So as you read this issue, let it sink in. Open your heart and your mind. Allow yourself to feel. Because this issue, is for you. Love always, Ailish and Maisie
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Get to Know the February Team REGULARS
issue six – LOVE // february 2016 Social Media
localriot.weebly.com twitter: @localriotmag
Co ntact
localriotblog@gmail.com
Co -owners
Ailish Delaney Maisie Evason
Graphic Desig n Ailish Delaney
Co ntributing Writers Ioana Florescu Lily Midgett Ellie Connor-Phillips Maile Edwards Sam Passman Samantha Sirsky Domonique Harris Natalie Carter Teeana Stark
Co ntributing Photograp hers Millie Natalie Carter Alexandra Paffenholz
MAISIE EVASON: Twitter: @thebrkfstciub Instagram: @thelittlemermais
IOANA FLORESCU: Twitter: @preachitjessie Instagram: @isthatioana
AILISH DELANEY: Twitter: @probablyailiish Instagram: @ailish.delaney Tumblr: lazyplum.tumblr.com
CAROLINE GADSBY: Twitter: @CarolineGadsby_ SAM PASSMAN: Instagram: @samstarkid Tumblr: silverflutes
LILY MIDGETT: Twitter: @LilyMidgett Instagram: @lilymidgett MAILE EDWARDS: Instagram: @maileinthewild
ELLIE CONNORPHILLIPS: Twitter: @elliecp Instagram: @elliecp_
DOMONIQUE HARRIS: Instagram: @babeypeach Blog: babeypeach.wordpress.com RIOTS SAMANTHA SIRSKY: Twitter: @samanthaskirsky Instagram: @sami_sirsky Tumblr: shephunt.tumblr.com MILLIE: Twitter: @httplants Instagram: @httplants Tumblr: mesmerisingskies. tumblr.com TEEANA STARK: Twitter: @justeeana
ALEXANDRA PAFFENHOLZ: Twitter: @photgraphs Instagram: @alliepaff Website: vsco.co/ombrediluceph otography/ NATALIE CARTER: Twitter: @natalie.carter Instagram: @obvnatalie Tumblr: paradisetiers.tumblr.co m
Want to see your work here?
If you’re a creative soul and want to see your work, whether it be art, modelling, writing, poetry, photography, etc, just email it to us at localriotblog@gmail.com
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Can’t Help Falling In Love // Elvis
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I’m Yours // Jason Mraz
2. She’s so Lovely // Scouting for Girls
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Photograph // Ed Sheeran
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Wonderwall //
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Oasis La Vie En Rose //
Heart Like Yours //
Willamette Stone 4. Accidentally in Love // Counting Crows
Louis Armstrong
5. Ultraviolet // Stiff Dylan’s
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Isn’t She Lovely // Stevie Wonder
6. Power of Love //
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Love Song // Sara
Gabrielle Aplin 7. L.O.V.E // Nat King
Bareilies 17. Stand By You //
Cole
Rachel Platton
8. Crazy Little Thing Called Love // Queen
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Love Story // Taylor Swift
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Friday I’m In Love
Bed Of Roses //
Bon Jovi 10. Lovefool // The Cardigans
// The Cure 20. Make you Feel My Love // Adele local riot magazine // 8
MARGARET ATWOOD I have always been an avid reader, and nothing excites me more than a good book. So last year when my English teacher assured me that I would love Margaret Atwood, I had to get my hands on one of her books. Later that day I popped into the library and grabbed a copy of The Handmaids Tale, and its here my love story begins. The book was fantastic, it was written eloquently with interesting characters and a complex storyline that makes you question almost everything you know. If you're a reader, I highly recommend you get your nose into one of Atwoods books. (Special mentions: The Handmaids Tale and Alias Grace.) BRALETTES I stopped wearing padded bras a long time ago, because I realised they're uncomfortable and I have no boobs to fill them. This month, I decided to blow all my money on bralettes. Was it a good idea? Maybe not, but I stand by it. They're super comfortable and so pretty. Wearing them makes me feel like a secret princess. You can find cheap ones on eBay that take weeks to come but are worth the wait or you can splurge and buy the pricier ones from places like H&M and ASOS. STAR TREK I have always watched the odd episode of Star Trek when it's been on the television, but at the beginning of February I invested in the box set of the original series. I cannot get enough. Despite my family calling me weird, I love it. It's funny to watch it in 2016 because it makes you realise how incredible the graphics and special effects we have now are. My only issue being that the episodes go for 50 minutes, which means it’s taking a long time to make it through the three seasons, but I am soldiering on.
- Maisie
STAY YOUNG - BEECHES For some reason unknown to me I adore this song. After hearing it in a Youtube video I searched high a low until I found it, it was a tough one with it not existing on Youtube and minimal information about it on Google. I’ve been listening to it on repeat. It speaks to me; I love the tune, the lyrics and the vibe that the song gives. It’s a wonderful song that I highly recommend you listen to if you’re looking for a chilled out song or new music. I’ll definitely be looking into Beeches and seeing what other music they have. FRIENDS Not the TV show, but the real people. I’m unsure if this counts as a monthly favourite but it’s my magazine so I’m going write it anyways. After spending three days with some of my best friends at my Year 12 retreat I’ve realised just how much I love and care for them all. My friends are in my February favourites as I’ve had a particularly rough month and I don’t know what I would have done without these people by my side. Special mention to Jess, Liam, Maisie, Catey and Fran for keeping me sane each time I whinged and vented to them. Friends are such an important part of who we are, make sure yours know that they are appreciated and loved, and play a part in your February favourites. STARS Another out of the ordinary monthly favourite but my love for space and the universe comes into play here. I’ve been paying attention the moon and space recently, partially due to my love for it and partially due to my mum and her spiritual beliefs. She leaves a rose quartz for me out under the moon to gain its power and then puts it under my pillow. On retreat out in the middle of no where the stars were beautiful and it was such an amazing sight to see that reminded me of how much I love space and the stars.
local - Ailish
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LOVE
Love is a word that means something different to each individual, as does the phrase “I love you”. There are many forms of loving someone, for example platonically or romantically. One can tell someone that they love them and mean it as a friend, whom they hold dear in their hearts, or as a romantic interest they picture themselves growing old with. The connotations of love are positive and happy across all languages. Love is associated with strength, happiness, prosperity, joy; love is what makes the world go round. With the phrase “I love you” having multiple meanings depending on the person, we took to the people to find out who the last person they said, “I love you” to and whether or not they meant it. I love you Ich liebe dich Je t’aime Ti amo Wo Ie Ni
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Letters I Fear to Send Sam Passman
Dear Sky, Thank you for always being there. You're so beautiful and you don't even seem to know it. Today I gave you my heart in wilted flowers. The stars in the sky melt into your eyes. You're the ocean personified, and I, the shore. I'm eroding away in pitiful adoration. You are hot chocolate on a cold winters day. We kissed with eyes open; quietly, I allowed my heart to speak to you. Can you see the way I look at you? Can you feel the way your current pulls my heart? I am not the moon to you; I cannot change your tides. But I will endure with you.
Dear Pen, You're the inspiration behind my words, my drive to continue on. You're the muse who haunts my dreams. I envy your confidence and how you believe in everything so fully and purely. Your heart is a diamond that will never crack. You will always be my favorite inspiration. You have always held my bird-like body up. You whispered the combinations to unlock hearts, to break molds. You breathed fire and life into my existence, orchids popping up across my misty meadow eyes.
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Dear Hope, You are the beauty in a thunderstorm. You are the quiet blooms of spring. Have I ever told you about how warm you make me feel? Today I'm not texting you as much as I could. Today looks gloomy like a hurricane and I miss your summer warmth. I remember why pictures are so important; anything is to catch your smile. You're my Polaroid memories, the tidiness of the past that brings nostalgic nectar to my tongue. Thank you for my heavenly breath.
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Mythical Infatuation:
Why is it okay to love anyone you want? Ioana Florescu
Love, it is such an exquisite feeling. It starts by channeling your energy towards an object of affection and blossoms into pure infatuation. However, what else do we know about love? Let's dig deeper into the roots of the issue. The first deity to ever support the cause of love was Aphrodite, the Greek Goddess of beauty, lust and amorousness. Her birth is often controversial. It is believed that she is the product of one of many of Zeus’s affairs. However, some claim that she came to life by emerging from an enormous scallop after Uranus’s severed genitals fell into the sea. Sandro Botticelli’s famous painting is inspired by this very event. Described as a ravishing entity, Aphrodite is most known for causing the Trojan war after a dispute with Athena, the Goddess of wisdom and Hera, the Goddess of marriage and family. Aphrodite herself did not escape love’s spell, having had an incestuous liaison with Ares, the mighty God of war. The fruit of their union was Eros. He was depicted as a blindfolded male, who, could target any human being with his bow and arrows and make them fall in love with the first person they would see. Ever since then, Eros alias Cupid has been linked with the celebration of Valentine’s Day. Greek culture is widely recognized to embrace the act of same sex relationships. One good example is Zeus and Ganymede. Zeus was quite the personality among the Gods in the ancient world. Among his other quirks, he is known for straying from his wife Hera on a number of occasions. One of his lovers was the young man that Homer described as the most beautiful of mortals, Ganymede. It is said that Zeus saw him tending sheep in the field, and was immediately entranced. Morphing himself into an eagle, he swooped down and kidnapped Ganymede, and once he brought him to the heavens, he made him immortal and gave him the duty of cupbearer to the gods. In fact, as Plato points out, Ganymede was so beloved by Zeus that he was the only among his lovers to be granted the gift of immortality. Today,
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their story is immortalized in the stars - Ganymede is one of the moons that orbit Jupiter (the Roman name for Zeus). Fast forward to the modern times and let me readress the issue of LGBTQ+. If you are by any chance unfamiliar with the acronym, it stands for: Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transexual and Queer. Of course, the sexuality spectrum is not limited just to these five typologies. There are also other labels out there in which members of the LGBTQ+ community can situate such as: pansexual (not limited in sexual choice with regard to biological sex, gender, or gender identity), asexual (without sexual feelings or associations), aromantic (little or no romantic attraction to others). The list goes on and on. As of 16 November 2015, fourteen countries (Argentina, Belgium, Brazil, Canada, France, Iceland, Ireland, Luxembourg, Norway, Portugal, South Africa, Spain, Sweden and Uruguay) and certain sub-jurisdictions (parts of Denmark, Mexico, the Netherlands, New Zealand, the United Kingdom and the United States allow samesex couples to marry. Nevertheless, the act of same sex marriages continues to cause controversy to arise all over the world. We're in the year 2016 and people are still fighting against the union between same sex couples, erroneously claiming, “it’s against God’s will”. Why should one’s sexuality be undermined by society? Why not educate people about this issue? Is it too revolting of a topic to bring up in school? You, reading this now. Your sexual orientation is valid. To me and to everyone else that knows better than to judge upon first glance. Heterosexual couples have access to the fundamental right of marriage, why shouldn't you? Love is not a sin. Love is patient. Love is selfless. Love is hopeful. Love is kind. So yes, loving whomever your heart desires is okay.
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“Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead.” – Oscar Wilde
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By Ailish Delaney
“People inspire you, or they drain you – pick them wisely.” – Hans F Hansen
again soon because you love them. If a relationship is making you upset more than you are feeling happy it isn’t healthy for you. It’s not healthy for both parties to be feeling on edge and miserable. Feeling sad that often isn’t good for you.
Loving yourself requires you to do what is best for you and to take care of yourself; this may mean doing something difficult if it will benefit you. Considering this is a column about my personal journey to becoming a happier person, I thought I’d take this opportunity to reflect on what I’ve been through relating to love, for myself and others, and toxic relationships.
You should never lose yourself in a relationship. Losing yourself and feeling miserable lead to a deterioration of your personal identity and mental health. Feeling miserable over things that you’ve done or they’ve done, or just things in general, it isn’t good for your health. It doesn’t matter if they make you incredibly happy, if you’re feeling upset more than that something has to change.
Love doesn’t conquer all. There will be a point in your life where the good will outweigh the bad, but you’ll continue to live with it; continue to stay in that relationship, continue to believe that love can conquer it again and again, continue to believe that you’ll feel happy
Sometimes the best thing for you may not be the best thing for all involved, if it’s an unhealthy relationship then it probably is best for both. Your top priority always has to be yourself. When you’re crying your eyes out, shaking and rocking back and forth with your head in
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your hands and your back against the door, who’s the one who picks you up and puts you back together again? When you’re feeling miserable to the point where you aren’t sleeping well and the bags under your eyes never seem to fade from the tossing and turning at night, who holds you together to face your peers and make it through tomorrow? You. You’re the only one who will ever be there for yourself always and that is why you must put your happiness first. This is an incredibly hard thing to do, trust me I know, but it’s what is necessary. You need to leave toxic people or relationships behind, maybe even for a while to breathe by yourself and both revaluate things. Give yourself time to find yourself, to understand who you are again, to love yourself. Breathe. Write. Live. Love. Allow yourself to flourish, show your true colours. Be happy. This will all come with time; I’m only beginning to get there. But together we’ll be happy again; we’ll be okay again. We’ll wish the sad times away and welcome the ones where we’re happy and positive people again, people who love themselves and have room to love others too, people who feel whole again. Don’t be afraid to let their love back in, but love you and put yourself first.
“You have to make your wellbeing a priority. Whether that means breaking up with someone you care about, loving a family member from a distance, letting go of a friend, or removing yourself from a situation that feels painful – you have every right to leave and create a safer space for yourself.”
Yours sincerely, Ailish
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pavement when you kissed me it felt like cement heavy, solid, safe and permanent but my mother always used to warn me about running on the pavement ‘you’ll fall and get hurt’ she said she was right n.c. local riot magazine //21
Photographer: Alexandra Paffenholz
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“When I saw you I fell in love, and you smiled because you knew.” – Arrigo Boito local riot magazine //23
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½ + ½ = a whole Ailish Delaney
The concept of soul mates existing and who they are has changed over time and will continue to change as people’s ideologies and beliefs develop. The idea of soul mates differs from person to person. My personal favourite explanation, or theory, comes from Greek mythology. The story says that the original first humans were created with four arms, four legs, four eyes, two noses and two mouths. Zeus feared them, as he believed that they were immensely powerful and he was worried that they would overthrow him and replace him as leader one day. To prevent this from happening, Zeus split the beings into two. He left each half to wander the earth in search of their other half to complete themselves; their soul mate. To some, the search for a soul mate is in the romantic sense, they are searching for someone to love and complete them, fulfilling their missing half and finding someone to spend their days with in love. They may dream of meeting their soul mate, write aimlessly about them and how it may happen. Perhaps it will be at a concert, amongst the loud music and sweaty, dancing bodies. They bump shoulders with a stranger, as they turn to apologise they smile, an instant connection. Or they may meet at a coffee shop, as they find they are a few dollars short for their coffee and the person behind them steps up to the counter offering some change. They’ll smile, say thank you and end up having coffee together. Maybe they will meet on the subway, as a stranger sits down next to them in the carriage and asks about the book they’re reading. They might find their soul mate at university, the gym, a park, maybe it’s their childhood sweetheart; the possibilities are endless. I do believe in romantic soul mates, there are people that you find you want to spend the rest of your life with in a romantic way. But to me the concept of soul mates branches further than just romance. I think that soul mates can be found in multiple places, it’s possible to have more than one soul mate in your life. A person may find
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only one soul mate throughout their life but for many soul mates are more than just one person. I think that the Greek mythology concept of soul mates can still apply to this in a sense; people fit others in different ways, people can have soul mates relating to different elements of themselves and their lives. There are soul mates through family, a mother, a sister, a daughter, a cousin. People who share that intimate bond together. Many will find their soul mates through friendships, the people that they find a special connection with. The person they can trust with their deepest secret. The person that will always be there for them, whether it be 3 AM when they’re crying their eyes out and seeking an ear to listen to their jumbled thoughts, or simply needing a favour. It may be their childhood best friend that they have grown apart from but who will always have a place in their heart. The person who makes them laugh until they find themselves clutching their sides in pain, with tears streaming down their cheeks. The person they want to message before they fall asleep. The one that they find themselves thinking about throughout the day, as they see and hear things that remind them of that person. The person they want to spend time with, go on adventures, late night drives, wear matching sweaters, take silly photos. The person they can be themselves with, raw and pure. One can find soul mates in fiction through movies and literature, perhaps a character that they find themselves relating to. Someone that tugs on their heart strings and they find themselves willing to be real, wanting them to ever so badly climb out of the screen or come to life from the pages and spend time with them. A character they can always turn to when they need someone to relate to, someone who understands them, someone who ‘gets it’. Soul mates will come and go but they leave a mark upon the other person’s heart forever. People find their soul mates in the most peculiar of places, don’t turn someone away out of fear and hold on to the ones that are important. People change and so do the times, but the idea of soul mates is something that will forever exist though the ideas and beliefs behind it may shift. Appreciate those who have a place in your heart and ensure that you send them love and support, keep your soul mates close so you’re not wandering the earth looking for your other half again and again.
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Photographer: Alexandra Paffenholz
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“If you love a flower, don’t pick it up. Because if you pick it up, it dies and it ceases to be what you love. So if you love a flower, let it be. Love is not about possession. Love is about appreciation.” - Osho local riot magazine //27
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Domonique Harris
10 overlooked songs by 10 'super-hyped' artists
10. Ana Sun – Walk the Moon Surprise, this band has other songs that aren't Shut Up and Dance With Me, who knew? And imagine this, Ana Sun is actually a good song and correctly represents the talent of the band. It has a nice alternative/indie feel; it's priceless compared to the more generic pop sound they've adopted now.
certain softer appeal unlike other rappers, that’s neither a bad nor a good thing. II. Shadows isn't even that groundbreaking, the songs feel of urgency is magical and then his soft vocals on the hook. It's all so stylized and authentic, is that the word I'm looking for? Childish Gambino kills all of us, don't lie.
9. We All Die Trying – Va nce Joy Riptide is a good song. No lie. But, is it his best song? No probably not, it's just his single on the radio that got overplayed. He's got some real gems that a majority of us don't even know about. This song however, We All Die Trying, is great. It's about life and how we all die trying to reach 'it'. It, that metaphorical it, oh I wonder what does it mean? Amazing song.
7. Walls – Kendrick Lamar This song is so catchy and the beat is actually what gives me purpose to live (when doesn't it?). Anything by Kendrick Lamar could probably save the world from ending. This song has such a psychedelic feel and the bit of talking he does at the beginning, perfect. Everything about this song and the album, To Pimp a Butterfly, is just great. It has such a sex appeal, but behind all of that it has meaning.
8. II. Shadows – Childish Ga mbino I always feel weird when I hear random kids rapping Sweatpants and then saying how much they love Childish. Like have you ever listened to anything else by him? But I suppose he does have
3. Settle Down – The 1975 Psychedelic punk-pop. Don't try to convince me the 1975's genre is anything but. Settle down is absolutely great; it's the embodiment of
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psychedelic music; the bass, the vocals, everything about their music. Settle Down is all about young love and kissing and just settling down! No need to get into the metaphorical meanings, it's a good song. Most (all) of their songs are. 5. You're Such A – Hailee Steinfeld I can't dance, but this makes me want to dance. This song is empowering, am I allowed to say that? Hell yeah, lets yell about douchey guys! It's so catchy and the toy piano sound is lovely. I feel like this is a song you should play on full blast after getting rid of the “fuckboys” in your life. If you thought Love Yourself was elusive and good as all hell, you should probably just stan Hailee for the rest of your life. 4. Breezeblocks – Alt-J Let's be clear, this is probably one of Alt-J's most overplayed songs, but all for good reason. I love this song with all of my soul and so I'm putting it on this list for you, so you can be blessed. Alt-J is a super funky band and their music is so different and chill that it's a new level of indie/alternative. To be honest, at first I thought Alt-J was a music genre... It's not. I don't even want to say anything about Breezeblocks, just go watch the music video. It's an experience! 3. Fucking Young/Perfect – Tyler the Creator Tyler the Creator, this man, I swear! First off let's address how proud he is of
Cherrybomb and how underrated it is! And this song, s***! It's like we can almost hear how mature Tyler has become, because let's face it he plays too much. It's about him being in love with a girl who is too young and the lyrics, the tone- the song just make you feel all of his emotions. I think that's one thing Tyler does really well. 2. Oblivion – Bastille Bastille has fantastic music and it's a shame Pompeii is the only song a lot of people associate with them. Oblivion is no exception. It's almost whispered into your ear so that it gently sits in your heart and travels through your bloodstream while you think about it. I've tried getting around thinking about the 'deeper' meaning, but his voice makes me want to think about the deeper meaning of everything. Augustus Waters would dig this song... too soon? 1. Pillow Talk- Zayn Ma lik No reason... This is his only song as of now. It's really invalid to put it on the list, but at the same time would it really be a good list without it? Who wouldn't want to be in bed all day with Zayn? That would be paradise wouldn't it? And let's say we do wake the neighbors... I'm not complaining. I'm not saying the music video was quality I'm just saying Zayn is quality.
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Photographer: Natalie Carter
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Photographer: Natalie Carter
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Photographer: Natalie Carter
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My love, we say “I love you” a lot, but what makes me feel really special is that you show me love every day. Like the way you look at me, even when I’m a mess, the way you help me, even when you don’t have to. The way you make time for us, even when life is trying to get in the way. That’s love, And you are so damn good at it. I love you, Caroline.
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For the Love of Words Samantha Sirsky
I’ve never been in love with anyone, not really. I’ve loved people: my family, my friends, my pets, people I’ve never met, and people I’ve lost, and sometimes on good days I tell myself I’ve been in love with people. But I haven’t been, not real love anyway. Not the kind of love that can tear down worlds and build empires, not the kind of love that changes the world. I’ve never been in love with anyone, but I do know how it will feel. Because I’ve been in love. I’ve loved with the kind of passion that changes the world. I’ve been in love with words my whole life. My love story begins early, when I was so young I couldn’t even read yet. The first word I met was “mom,” and from there I was addicted. My mom read me stories every night, and before I knew it I was deciding that I wanted to tell other people stories for the rest of my life. I’d chosen a career before I knew enough words to tell anyone so. Later it comes in flashes, like photographs pinned on a wall of dates between us over years of time. In one I sit on the floor playing with Webkinz. I’m staring up at my mother, and the caption reads, “I’m destined to be a writer,” because that is what I told her when I was in second grade. It was also the year I started writing poetry. I wrote my first poem on my father’s lap as we rode on the lawnmower in our backyard. I wrote my second, third, and fourth in his truck where he left me while he was at work. I spent a lot of time alone, and that was part of my destiny. It was fate that I learned to entertain myself with stories, with words, that I learned to observe when I had no one else and nothing to do. It worked well for me. Words and I were a perfect fit. Words were all I needed, and I was happy to be shy, alone, and sit in the corner with a notebook while everyone else my age made friends. I didn’t mind, for it was my destiny. I was fine with being the Quiet Girl until sixth grade, when we all wrote poems about Thanksgiving for class. No one ever told me that words and I weren’t as perfect of a match as I’d always thought, because it was never the case. In fact, that day in school was the first time someone other than my mother told me that I had an amazing talent. I had a way with words. But when she asked me to read it to the class, Quiet Girl took over and refused for the both of us. I wanted to scream about my relationship with words to everyone, and they were prepared to listen, but
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Quiet Girl wouldn’t allow it. That was the day our relationship changed. I thought to be a writer, you had to be quiet. Observant. Careful. A loner. I thought to be a good person, you had to be excessively modest. Careful. Perfect. By eighth grade, I was writing every day. I carried a notebook with me everywhere, but I still wouldn’t let anyone see it. I was still controlled by Quiet Girl, who doesn’t let poetry be read aloud to a classroom of people who could laugh or scoff or - worst of all - not care. Quiet Girl was afraid enough for the both of us, and it was enough to shut me up for years. Flash forward. Senior year. My affair with words has lived on for sixteen years. We’ve kept it hush hush, but maybe that was what kept it so strong. We were safe in silence. Possibly the worst string of words for someone like me to hear at that point came out of my favorite teacher’s mouth. We were going to be writing spoken word poetry and performing it in front of the class. Checkmate. I loved writing it, as I expected. We had two weeks to write our poems, but I wrote mine, three pages long, in that single class period. I was the first one finished, and the last one left to go up to read those two long weeks later. “Do I have to?” I asked, a nervous smile on my face. I played it off like a joke, but my insides were melting. Sixth grade to twelfth, and I still wanted to refuse. This time it wasn’t an option. I used to think to be a great writer, you had to fit the “writer type.” Aloof, silent, shy, observant. The Quiet Girl profile. I was scared to let that piece of me go, because what if it was what made me who I was? Sixteen years old, I read my writing out loud for the first time for a group of people. My teacher was supposed to make notes on her computer so she could grade it later, but she didn’t get a chance to finish. She ran out of the room crying. She came back, and they made me read it again. A week later, again. And again. Do you know what it feels like to watch someone change? Do you know how it feels to be part of that effect? If you have a talent, if you have anything you love to do, it is a disservice to try for politeness and modesty and keep it to yourself. Even if people don’t like what you put out into the world, even if they don’t care, even if they
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criticise you for it, it is your duty to share it with them. That’s what gives you courage. That’s what makes you stronger, and when you become stronger, so does your craft. On my first day of class freshman year of college, our professor asked us to go around the room, say our names, and say what makes us superheroes. I’ve never been in love with anyone. I don’t know how it feels to want someone so badly it takes your breath away, but I do know how it feels to cry so hard you can’t breathe. To want something so much, your body aches. To be so happy you have to pull at your lips to make yourself stop smiling. And best of all, I know how to make other people experience that with my words. I know how it feels to be in love with something because I am in love with telling stories, with writing, and with words. My name is Samantha Sirsky. I am a superhero because stories change people, and I write stories.
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“Our first and last love is self-love.” – Christian Nestell Bovee
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More Than This: Dwelling on the realisation of love, and whether it’s possible to fall out of it Ellie Connor-Philips “Here!” The cake landed on my sketchbook with a thud, the wrapping squeaking against the paper and coming to a rest by my clenched fist. “Wait, really? Are you sure?” “Of course I am, silly – you always buy me chocolate so it’s only fair.” My friend replied, shrugging her shoulders and tearing the seal of her own snack. It had been a long day – I had worked on overdue work all morning, ran late to my first class, stressed as my application deadline for University was at 12pm and it was already 11.27 (and I wasn’t sure if my teacher had finished sending it) and to top it all off I was due a scolding with my art teacher for the slow development of my project. I was tired and hadn’t eaten yet, so the surprise gift jolted me awake and shocked me somewhat, as when I feel bad I often forget that I exist properly or that people in this world can be nice. As I ate the cake, it’s sweet lemon scent stuck to my palette and I felt warm and comforted, more from the show of companionship than the actual food itself. I thought to myself: “That’s just love, isn’t it?” as I watched my friend carry on with her work, forgetting about the incident almost immediately as it was nothing – what’s food, money, or belongings between friends? It was evident, to me, that I was in love – obviously, I am talking about platonic love, but it is still love – a mutual care and appreciation of each other that is shown and felt
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most often through little exchanges and interactions like the one I just described. In this sense, it’s easy to know if you’re in love, right? I mean, if someone can make you feel happy, cheer you up, comfort you or help you out then surely they must have some sort of love for you, and if you appreciate them and would do the same in return, surely the love is mutual and legitimate. I know when I love a friend, and when I feel they love me – so why do I feel that this is not the case with romantic love? In a platonic relationship, neither party is exclusive to the other, meaning they can love as many others as they choose, with as many friends existing separate to the platonic bond in question. This means that you can freely love the individual, knowing that if someone else comes along that you also admire, you can befriend them too; you are not stuck with one choice. With a romantic relationship, this is often not the case. You are supposed to be entirely with the other, which I can’t help but feel leaves a certain amount of doubt lingering – are you with the right person? Are you really in love? Or is there another person, or situation, out in the world that would be better for you? This feeling applies not only to romantic love, but love of all things – I adore travelling, and love visiting cities and countries (I can fall almost instantly in love with places…sometimes even before I’ve arrived) however I can’t decide on where I want to stay – is London really the best option for me, or do I only think that because it’s all I’ve ever known? Would my life be better elsewhere? I’ve been thinking about this a lot recently, as I’ve been questioning the idea of soul mates and whether there is one person for you, or whether there are hundreds of people or places you could be happy with or in, none being better or worse than the others. I want to travel more and hopefully broaden my horizons a little before eventually settling, as I can’t yet decide whether there is more out there than the opportunities I know already. The song “More Than This” by Roxy Music really captures this feeling for me…Ferry seems to question this uncertainty in his lyrics, suggesting that there is just no way of knowing more than what you are experiencing at the time. Like a dream, we simply cannot predict the twists or turns our lives will take, meaning that there really is “nothing…more than this,” when it comes to wondering if there is more beyond your current love. What I think I’m trying to say is that there isn’t time to worry about what you could be doing, who you could be with, or where you could be – there is no way
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of knowing what else is out there, and the best way to enjoy life is to simply rejoice in any love you feel in the present and the now. Maybe, there is no one true love or passion but simply a few that are specific to certain times in our lives, or just so happen to be more permanent features; you simply cannot tell, and must just live and let love happen around you. Later in the week, I met up with a friend for coffee and the conversation shifted to whether it is possible for one to fall out of love. As I suggested above, I believe that there are multiple loves you might encounter that are specific to a certain time in your life – for example, as a child I loved and was passionate about horse-riding, but I wouldn’t necessarily list that as one of my current “loves”. It seems apparent to me that all love eventually comes to an end, and as you grow and change, so will your feelings towards the things and people around you. My friend was at first, like me, convinced falling out of love was normal, and possible. I tried to use an example of old friends, or old loves, but it suddenly dawned on me that I did still have a deep and profound affection for them. We thought some more and my friend realized she still had remembered tiny details about a person in her life, unable to shake even the least important from her memory; his impression still so clear on her mind that even his physical absence, and her conviction that she was no longer in love with him, did not hide the fact that there was still some sort of feeling or bond that continued after the relationship ended. “I don’t really know what to do with it all…I feel as though I should write it all down, just to try and get it all out in one place so I can have a sort of closure, I suppose,” she sighed, and it hit me that even this would not rid her of her feelings; carrying them around in a journal only moves them from her mind to the physical world, shifting their location but not removing them from existence. Is it, therefore, somewhat impossible to completely fall out of love? If you love anyone, or anything, surely that love will remain strong, even if it is only the love of a memory or specific time or place. I love Islington, for example, but not for it’s current ways (I rarely spend time there anymore) but simply because I love the memories I have of growing up there; each street has moments attached to it that I look back on with affection, and although my love of Islington now is no more than my love of anywhere else in London, I will always love what it was to me as a child. In the same way, many people always love their first love, simply because they remember that blissful feeling of appreciating and being appreciated in return. So maybe it’s less about whether you are in love, and more about enjoying the loves you have, whether insignificant or pivotal, simply because you can’t predict which will have the most lasting impact on you, or on others. As Bryan Ferry wrote – “like a dream in the night, who can say where we’re going?”
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Photographer: Alexandra Paffenholz
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Photographer: Alexandra Paffenholz
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Cheap alcohol and cigarettes. Burning in my throat, in my head. Such is a dull comparison. Dull compared to the fiery burning in my throat when we kiss. The fireworks in my stomach when your hands meet my skin. The sparks in my brain as you form words with your mouth. Your love is a fire, a burn, that will never fade out. - Teeana Stark
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Greek Loves Lily Midgett
Storge: Love of parents to children. My mother and sister have such a wonderful love towards each other and it is so hard to truly see that other than in person
Philia: A ffectionate reg ard , friend ship. My sister and her elementary school best friend are the cutest and like all of the same things.
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Ag ape: Brotherly love. My brothers were playing on our Xbox on Christmas morning and not fighting.
Eros: Love of the sexual passion. Macaws that are in love are the cutest things, theses little guys would not leave each other's sides!
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“Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.” – Albert Einstein
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Maisie Evason
The Great Gatsby - Scott Fitzgerald A few years ago, my dad and I were discussing books that I should read and he said something along the lines of “You should read The Great Gatsby! I think they're making it into a film soon.” So I absentmindedly put it on my to be read list and went on to discuss another book. When flicking
through the thousand books that were on the kindle I received that Christmas, I recognised Gatsby as a book on my list and opened it up. I fell in love with this book, I fell as hard as Jay Gatsby fell for Daisy. It consumed my life for days as I spent every spare second soaking up the story in front of me. I probably didn't even understand much of it when I first read it, but all these years later I remember two quotes that resonate with me now as they did when I read them at the age of 14. 1. “I was within and without, simultaneously enchanted and repelled by the inexhaustible variety of life.” 2. “They were a satisfactory hint of the unreality of reality, a promise that the rock of the world was founded securely on a fairy's wing.” I won't go into the plot because the release of the film made it rather well known. Even if you have seen the movie, I beg you, please read the book. It's much better, as is usually the case with books being made into movies, and the words are so powerful. 4/5 STARS Happy reading Riots, Maisie.
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Photographer: Millie
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I wore my heart on the sleeve of his flannels.
Na talie Carter
Love is so beautifully odd. You meet so ma ny thousands of people in your life- only to one day encounter someone whom your heart yearns to hold and your fingertips itch to touch. All of a sudden, this person becomes the centre of your thoughts, the blood in your veins. You have a deep desire to learn the exact piano notes of their laughter and curve of their spine. And soon enough you discover if this person is worthy of your pancakes and morning breath and obsession with roma nce novels with coff ee stains on the cover. There is a vast difference between fancying someone and being in love with them. I feel as if many people today often get the two mixed. But once you fall in love, you know. Your thoughts a re completely flooded and your pulse is quickened. It doesn’t even matter how innocent the love is, you want them entirely. For the f irst time in one’s lif e, you don’t really think of yourself a s alone. G one are feelings of loneliness. At every point during the day, no matter what you are doing, you wish they were there too. You have the weird craving to buy matching sets of slippers and write them notes before going to work. Love is also fighting at three in the morning because someone didn’t put down the sea t or crying over a f la t tire together. Its gourmet meals of ramen noodles and milk because you get paid tomorrow a nd there’s nothing in the fridge. That is being in love with someone.
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“The most important thing in life is to learn how to give love out, and to let it come in.” – Morrie Schwartz
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HOW TO SAY, “I LOVE YOU”.
“Have a good day.” “Look both ways before you cross the road.” “Did you eat enough today?” “Remember to take your tablets.” “It reminded me of you.” “You make me laugh.” “Make sure you put a seatbelt on.” “I was thinking about you.” “You look tired, are you getting enough sleep?” “I hope you’re okay.” “Good luck, you’ll ace it.” “Don’t worry, I’ll do it.” “I don’t mind, whatever you want.” “Be safe.” “Don’t forget to drink lots of water.” “I’m here for you.” “Be safe.” “You’re cold, take my jacket.” “Text me when you get home so I know you’re safe.” “It’s cold outside, take a jacket.” “I’m so proud of you.” “I hope you have a nice sleep.” “You inspire me.” “I hope you’re happy.” “It’s going to be okay.” “Here, take mine.” “I’m here for you.” “I noticed.” “I saved you a seat.” “I believe in you.” “Do it, if it makes you happy.” “Only if you want to.” “I love you.”
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What comes to mind when I think of Alanah? I think of a mind as beautifully messy as the hair on her head. Eyes that show you a picture of swirling sweet liquid caramel. A smile that has fought many battles but sits at a gentle glow. A heart that explodes with colour and passion. Skin as soft as silk. I think of a design made just for mine. - Teeana Stark
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Photographer: Millie
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Photographer: Millie
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By Maile Edwards
Everything is love with you. You love everyone, you love me? You don’t know what love is, and if you keep saying it, eventually it won’t mean a thing. You don’t love me, you just think you do, and I’m sorry I don’t feel the same. -----Growing up, my dad always told me the love you have in your heart is the most important thing in the world. Nothing else mattered, and as a child, it was an easy concept to grasp, but as I got older, it was a little harder to swallow. I was born in between 4 brothers, so I had to roll with the punches, quite literally at times. There was no room for tears in the Boys Club. When I got to middle school, boys that I was friends with in elementary school deemed it was no longer cool to be friends with a girl, and any boy that still was my friend had to be my boyfriend (cue the immature “KI-S-S-I-N-G”). When I got hit in the head during a game of dodge ball, and the tears started welling up in my eyes, I knew the boys would never pick me for their team again. In 8th grade English, several girls in my class – including myself – cried during “Of Mice and Men,” and the boys would shoot glances at each other and hide their chuckles and snickers behind the sleeves of their hoodies. By the time I got to high school, girls that dated a lot were sluts, pathetic when the boys dumped them.
Sweet sixteen was the year I experienced my first heartbreak. The boy, a good friend of mine who I’d been crushing on since forever, finally gave me the time of day. I was giddy and giggly, a bumbling mess with her head in the clouds. Everything was lovely… then he flirted with my friend right in front of me, and I ran. Barefoot and in tears, I called my friend to come and pick me up, and she drove me straight to the supermarket to pick out a pint of my favourite ice cream. In the heat of the moment, I texted him that I loved him, and he told me I was naïve. For a long time, I believed him. I’m 19 now, and looking back on my experiences, I can see how all of them intertwine. People are afraid to let themselves feel. Girls are shamed for letting our emotions “get
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the best of us,” and boys are shamed because being caring and loving and gentle goes against everything they’ve been taught about masculinity. After that heartbreak, I locked my heart away where no one would ever find it, because I believed what he said. Maybe I was irrational. Maybe I do jump the gun and take the fall too quickly. I felt like my love was tossed aside so easily, so it must not mean much. It became hard for me to love myself, let alone love others or let them love me. I’m still learning how to undo all the locks to come home to myself. Over the past couple years, I’ve learned a lot about love, self-love in particular. The weight of my suppressed feelings I kept bottled up inside was so heavy, and unlearning the stigmas surrounding emotionality was like a sigh of relief. It was as if I was being dragged against the current, and the line finally snapped and I could just drift. ----
There are many forms that love can take. The same love we had when we had a crush on our next-door neighbour at 8 years old isn’t going to feel the same as the love we’ll have for our husbands/wives/partners. You can have soul mates of all sorts – friends, family, lovers, pets, David Bowie-esque other worldly personas. You can be in love with a movie, a feeling, a colour, a memory. Love comes in infinite supply, so you will never run out of currency. Our capacity to feel and love doesn’t diminish us, or make us weak. It is courageous and powerful and strength, embodied. Our definitions of love can change and transform with each new day and new experience of love, but that doesn’t mean our old love is no longer real. A different love is still love, and a love someone else doesn’t understand doesn’t erase what’s yours.
So, yes, love is a strong word. It is the way I feel about the lilac sky after a sunset, and images of my friends in the back of a truck driving home after a day in the sun, and how my mom has stayed up all night when I was sick, and, yes, how I felt about him. Time has passed, and I feel different now, but it was real in the moment. I know what I felt, and I know he was wrong about how the world losing it’s meaning. My love will not shrink the more I give away. My heart has the remarkable ability to make a little more room. I have loved, I love, and I will continue to love. I may not know what it will look like tomorrow, but I know it when I feel it. And I’ll feel it without hesitation.
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“Doubt thou the stars are fire, Doubt the sun doth move, Doubt truth to be a liar, but never doubt thy love.” – Wiliam Shakespeare local riot magazine //57
Photographer: Millie
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Love. A fundamental piece in the puzzle we call life. An underlying theme in every movie, the very core of our morals, and everyone's final goal; to love, to be loved. I think when most people think of love, they think of romantic love. That sappy, Nicholas Sparks, “If you're a bird, I'm a bird” kind of love. But I want to talk to you about the truest form of love I believe there is. The love that is created between best friends. It's the kind of love that makes you drop everything to be together one last time, the kind of love that makes you feel safe and ultimately, the kind of love that can tear you apart or piece you back together again. We all have someone, whether it be a sister, an old family friend, your boyfriend or your girlfriend. Maybe it's not just one person. Maybe, you got lucky and found yourself with three or four or five best friends. We all have someone we look at and think “When I count my blessings, I count you twice.” Me? I got lucky. I found a best friend, a confidant and truly, I found a sister. I was a loner in my first years of primary school. I sat with the teacher or played by myself. I switched between friend groups and never felt like I belonged. I was bullied and told I wasn't “cool enough” to hang out with the people I thought were my best friends. I tried to be someone I wasn't and ended up feeling alone. Which sounds ridiculous now, because when you're young everyone is your friend, and I did have friends. I had two friends in particular who, no matter how many times I walked away, were always there when I turned back around again. So to Dani and Dee, I am
forever grateful. You taught me what it meant to be a best friend. The day before I started high school I got a call, it was Dee. She asked me if I would like to go to school together on our first day so it wasn't as scary. The next day we walked into school together ready to take on the world. High school did what high school does, and we drifted and found ourselves in different friendship groups. But we still shared the odd joke and funny face when we passed each other in the halls, sat together in class and complained about our teacher and went on a memorable holiday together that resulted in many embarrassing photos that I hope will never resurface. When year nine came around I had friends, but somehow felt like I had no one. It's a strange feeling, to not be alone but be lonely. Until a common goal (of getting sweets off a girl we barely knew) bonded Dee, Ailish and myself together on a school retreat. In an attempt to keep this article from sounding like a strange memoir, I'll shorten the story. Dee and I found ourselves together again. For a year or so, we were just Maisie and Dee. We then picked up a few recruits (Fran, Tiahna and Deanna) and now we're nearing the end of my story. “Your friends are the family you choose yourself.” I can't remember when I first heard this line, but it's something I think of often. Through tears, laughs and heartbreak, I chose my family. I decided who I would surround myself with, I chose which people would see the best and the worst of me and
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in doing so, decided which people would be there for me when I needed it most. Luckily for me, I made the right decision.
piece of my heart back together again. With each passing day, I see my best friend fight. For her life, for herself and for us. With each passing day the rest of us put on a brave face, hope for the best and let her know that we have her back no matter what life throws at us. Each day we find subtle ways to remind each other, we are loved. I think it's the kind of love that more people should write books about and glorify. Their hearts, fixed mine and I think that is the true meaning of love.
In October of 2015 I was on holiday when Dee messaged our group chat with important news. The lump in her leg she constantly complained about, was a tumour. She had cancer. The c-word hit me like a slap in the face. I didn't believe her. It was Dee, how could she have cancer? But unfortunately my state of denial was useless and the day eventually came when I had to accept the fact that it was real, my best friend had cancer. The day was a Wednesday, the day Dee got results that would determine her treatment. In first period I looked behind me at her empty seat and it hit me, she wasn't there because she had cancer. That day, I cried in 5 out of 6 periods. That day Fran, Tiahna and Deanna cried with me. Because that is what friends do. Together we accepted that this was life and we had to be there for each other.
Throughout this period of time, I have come to the conclusions that friendship is a bit like marriage. Only it's better, because you don't have to make the vows and promise you will be there for each other for better and for worse, you just know it. You will find that friendships are always tested, and don't get me wrong, this test has pushed us to our limits. But, if you have chosen your family correctly, and for your sake I hope you have, you'll find that no test will ever break true love.
Despite my best attempts to remain strong for Dee, some nights when I was alone I found myself in a whirlwind of depression. I thought my heart had broken. When I was awake at 2am, when I was crying so loudly that I woke up my sister and she had to hold me so I could breathe again, I thought my heart was broken. I thought it was broken beyond repair. Fortunately for me, my friends proved me wrong. With each new day, each supportive message, each gentle hug and reassuring glance, they put a
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Photographer: Alexandra Paffenholz
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Photographer: Alexandra Paffenholz
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“Love is that condition in the human spirit so profound that it allows me to survive, and better than that, to thrive with passion, compassion, and style.” – Maya Angelou local riot magazine //63
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