MARCH 2020 EUROPE'S LEADING MAGAZINE FOR LESBIANS & BI WOMEN
Juno Dawson “There’s nothing wrong with being trans”
Gen Q style
How to get the L Word look
EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW
Kate Moennig
Sally Wainwright “Anne Lister is my all-time hero”
Feeling Good On set with Mae Martin & Charlotte Ritchie
Portrait Of A Lady On Fire Talking desire with the stars of Céline Sciamma’s gorgeous new film
Picture perfect lez/bi flicks to see this spring
6 “I’ve always had a soft spot for Shane”
TRANS FOCUS THINGS NOT TO SAY TO A TRANS PERSON | TRAVELLING TRANS | THIS IS WHAT NON-BINARY LOOKS LIKE
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CONTENTS UPFRONT 04 Dictum 06 Your shout 08 Trending
VOICES
26
56
FEATURES
CULTURE
REAL TALK
18 Kate Moennig
32 Portrait Of A Lady On Fire
56 Death and dying
26 Genderqueer celebrities
36 Sally Wainwright
58 Things not to say to...
30 Beyond the binary
38 BFI Flare
59 Lesbian Visibility Week
46 Mae Martin
60 Health heroes
10 Valentino Vecchietti 12 Juno Dawson 14 Olivia Jones
32
52 The End
COVER PHOTO KHAREN HILL
Throughout the issue you will see this symbol, which indicates that there is digital content available related to that particular feature. You will be able to access this complementary content when you purchase our digital edition from divadigital.co.ukk or directly through the DIVA branded app, available on the App Store, Google Play, Kindle Newsstand and Windows Store. (Please note that additional content may not be available via all of our third-party digital suppliers. However, buying the issue using one of the methods above give you access this content.)
62
71
78
SEX
ESCAPE
LIFESTYLE
62 Trans dating
68 Chicago
76 Trans terminology
64 Sexy Bits
71 Explore
78 Get the L Word look
66 My Secret Sex Diary
72 Travelling trans
...and DIVA regular sections 42 Music | 44 Books | 50 Screen | 74 Diary | 82 Stars 3
DICTUM
UPFRONT | DICTUM How will you be spending International Women’s Day on 8 March? Editor-in-chief Carrie Lyell “In Finland, channelling the sapphic energy of Moomin mother Tove Jansson”
EDITOR’S LETTER
A SPACE OF TRANS SOLIDARITY
Log on to Twitter, pick up a newspaper or turn on the TV and you’ll no doubt see a misleading tweet, headline or story about trans people. This hostility, which I talk more about in my Mediawatch column on page 9, fuels intolerance and hatred and puts trans people’s lives at risk. It’s shocking, but not surprising, that many trans and non-binary people are fearful of the media. But DIVA is different. We are a safe space. So ahead of Trans Day Of Visibility on 31 March, and as part of our ongoing commitment to demonstrating solidarity with those in our
Managing editor Roxy Bourdillon “At a dinner party with my girl squad, aka The Goddesses”
community facing intolerable discrimination and abuse, we are making trans people, their stories and struggles, triumphs and tiny wins, more visible in our pages than ever before. We’re celebrating the contribution that trans people make to LGBTQI life, highlighting the challenges faced and making space for trans writers to tell the stories that matter to them. This month, we have a guest column from Juno Dawson on trans representation in The L Word and a wonderful piece by Freiya Benson on sex and dating, while on page 72, writer and translator Ellie Mackin offers her tips and tricks for travelling as a trans person. Elsewhere, we celebrate the diversity of nonbinary identities and find out things not to say to a young trans person. Cis or trans, I hope these stories leave you inspired and emboldened. Go forth, be visible and make change. We’ve got your back.
Carrie Lyell carrie@divamag.co.uk | @Seej
Senior staff writer Danielle Mustarde “In Paris celebrating my favourite international woman’s birthday” Staff writer Sophie Griffiths “Listening to Run The World (Girls) by Beyoncé all day!” Sub-editor Kat Halstead “Going full culture vulture on a day of events, drinks and drag kings with the girls”
Music editor Laura Howard Screen editor Kat Halstead Books editor Erica Gillingham Travel editor Joanna Whitehead Designer Fernando Safont Big thanks to: Yolandah Gurupira, Laura Gallagher, Kharen Hill, Gareth King, Mia Farrell, Emma Smart, Erin Maniatopoulou, Sonja Howells, Andy West, Harri Weeks, Katy Sykes, Sally Kent, Naomi Meanwell Advertising manager Raj Valentino 020 3735 7871 raj@divamag.co.uk Events social manager Kat Stephens kat@divamag.co.uk Sales 020 3735 7871 Subscriptions 01202 586 848 For UK prices see p65 Subscriptions help contact@selectps.com If you need a back issue to complete your set, email kat@divamag.co.uk. If you have difficulty reading the printed word, you can get DIVA on audio cassette on subscription. Contact Feminist Audio Books on 0161 273 8038 or email books@feministaudiobooks.org.uk THE APRIL ISSUE OF DIVA IS ON SALE FROM 20 MARCH (DIGITAL) AND 26 MARCH (PRINT). Postal address DIVA MAGAZINE Room 32, Spectrum House, 32-34 Gordon House Road, London NW5 1LP editorial@divamag.co.uk divamag.co.uk Newstrade distribution Select Publisher Services Ltd, PO BOX 6337, Bournemouth, BH1 9EH Distribution help steve@magazineworkshop.co.uk Printed in UK by CPUK Print Publishing (cp-uk.co.uk) Published by DIVA MEDIA GROUP LIMITED Publisherr Linda Riley linda@divamag.co.uk Managing Directorr Felicity Milton fizz@divamag.co.uk Creative Directorr Jacquie Lawrence jacquie@divamag.co.uk Chairr Antonia Hardy antonia@divamag.co.uk All rights reserved © DMG 2016 ISSN 1353 4912
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DIVA is published monthly in the UK by DIVA Media Group Limited. The mention or appearance or likeness of any person or organisation in articles or advertising in DIVA is not to be taken as any indication of sexual, social or political orientation of such persons or organisations. No responsibility can be assumed for unsolicited materials and submission is construed as permission to publish without further correspondence at the fee payable at our usual rates. Advertisers are advised that all copy is their sole responsibility under the Trade Protection Act. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without prior permission of the publishers.
CJ Run in Chicago, Illinois
Š 2 0 2 0 I L L I N O I S D E PA R T M E N T O F C O M M E R C E A N D E C O N O M I C O P P O R T U N I T Y, O F F I C E O F TO U R I S M , T T Y: Y 1 - 8 0 0 -7 8 5 - 6 0 5 5
You belong in the city where you can be yourself.
UPFRONT | YOUR SHOUT fave three INSTAGRAM Ouraccounts this month
You said it...
YOUR SHOUT
Claire Callow-Foster, via email
Opinions expressed by correspondents and contributors do not necessarilyy reflect the views of the editors of DIVA magazine or its publishers.
JOIN Z THE BUivZamagazine
k.com/d .uk faceboo @divamag.co letters magazine @DIVA
Hi, my name is Claire, and in 2005 I met my wife through your magazine. We have been together 16 years and married for six years. My wife lives on the Isle of Man and I moved from Spalding in Lincolnshire in 2007 to be with her. I just wanted to say thank you, because if it wasn’t for your magazine, we would never have met.
Hannah S, via email I love you guys
@word_scribbler A perfect magazine cover
@MajolaSnake1 What a treat – Kristen’s back on the cover of my @DIVAmagazine – Thank you
@realmariamckee So honoured and excited to be in @DIVAmagazine’s LOVE ISSUE! Thank you DIVA
@nellylel Yay!! Exciting mail day Back from uni and now curled up with a brew and the brand new @DIVAmagazine
@MsWhitehead100 K-STEW what more of an excuse do you need? #DIVAmagazine #supportqueermedia
@lesbianherstoryarchives Hello! #askme #she/her #they/ them #he/him All are welcome at the Lesbian Herstory Archives.
@dianalouisej While I have been working, for a break I have been dipping in & out of @DIVAmagazine and the OMG yes yes yes! Page 60 is fantastic, so many hang ups around sex, we are supposed to know everything instinctively, because you have one doesn’t mean you know what someone else wants.
@ChloeCounsellor
@mermaidsgender We absolutely adore this art by @akanoodleart perfectly sums up how heroic our young people are! #NewMermaids #Mermaids #charity #transgender #lgbtq
@DIVAmagazine a bit late to the party on the 10 years ago reflection thing. But just wanted to say I have happy memories of my internship in the DIVA office back in 2010!
@lingerie_addict Someone just reminded me that one month after being called the “Queer Supreme” by a certain retro lingerie brand, I am now featured in @DIVAmagazine, the UK’s leading mag for LGBTQ+ women. I’m cackling.
@sinister_wisdom @hardfemme_riot
CALL-OUT Poor Queers
HOW DO YOU READ YOURS? Want more
DIVA
in your life? Head to our website for all the latest lez/bi news, views and celebs divamag.co.uk 6 MARCH 2020
Jodie Mac tweeted this picture of The Love Issue and said: “So impressed with Kristen Stewart on the cover of @DIVAmagazine – what a babe! Leo seems impressed too.” K-Stew or Leo – we can’t decide who’s cuter! How do you read yours? Send your pictures to letters@divamag.co.uk or tag us on social media and you could appear in a future issue!
Interviewees sought! What does it mean to be poor and queer in 21st century Britain? How is poverty, money and social class experienced in LGBTQI+ communities? This project focuses on the lives of “poor queers”, thinking through experiences and identities in times of social and legal change. This project is based at the University of Strathclyde, conducted by Yvette Taylor. To take part, email yvette.taylor@strath.ac.uk, tweet @YvetteTaylorO, call 0141 444 8048 or text 07379 466 650. Find out more about Yvette at strath.ac.uk/staff/ tayloryvetteprofessor.
Different strokes.
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UPFRONT | TRENDING
TRENDING
Why we love
Indya Moore
h t n o m s i h T IN
NUMBER
9%
Increase in negative IIncr In
com co com comments about the
S
#M MeToo movement
78,000 00 0
Young people entering the care system
a new campaign by Five Rivers who are calling on the LGBTQI consider fostering opportunities
70%
Young people aged 17-25 who are
fearful of coming out as LGBTQI
according to a British LGBT Awards survey
8 MARCH 2020
2 1/2
503
over the past year on social media (up from from 31% to 40%) according to researcher Sherry Hamby
The amount more likely LGBTQI youth are to have a
mental health problem than those who identify as heterosexual
2020 Stonewall Index Submissions for the
an annual list of inclusive employers, currently topped by Pinsent Masons
WORDS CARRIE LYELL, ROXY BOURDILLON, SOPHIE GRIFFITHS . PHOTOS INSTAGRAM
Not only is Indya Moore one of the most beautiful humans in the whole universe right now, they’re also one of the most influential. If you haven’t been sucked into compulsively binge-watching POSE yet, you might not recognise the name. If you have, then you’ll know them better
as Angel Evangelista, a transgender sex worker with afrotastic hair. POSE, which features the largest cast of transgender actors in any scripted TV series in history, dives deep into New York’s late 1980s LGBTQI Black and Latino ballroom community, and fans will be thrilled to hear the third season is on its way. We’ll get to see Indya’s character perform epic runway walks donning glamorous glitter and feathers, and serve some delicious drama, as well as difficult emotional scenes about the Aids crisis. Indya’s talent really stretches across it all. Talking to Women’s Wear Daily about their character, Indya said: “What I loved about Angel, what I instantly connected to her from, was her pursuit to find love and to be loved and find someone who would reciprocate her love for them also. But, also, her yearning to be seen as an authentic person – as a real human being. As a real woman.” Indya, who is polyamorous and non-binary, had a rather unconventional journey into the spotlight, showing just how resilient and powerful they are. At the age of 14, they left their parents’ home due to transphobia and entered foster care. They became a model for Dior and Gucci at just 15, and landed the role in POSE off the back of their modelling career. They haven’t looked back since. We’ve got a feeling we’ll be seeing a lot more of Indya in the coming years, and we couldn’t be happier.
Notable Quotables
MEDIAWATCH
She Said
with Carrie Lyell @Seej
Beautifully free
THE BBC MUST DO BETTER
”I can’t believe I’m saying this today to all of you for the entire world to see. But damn, it feels good to finally do it. It is time to let go and be truly free. When I was younger, I was born in the wrong body, which means that I am transgender.” Beauty YouTuber Nikkie de Jager addressing her 13 million subscribers, after someone threatened to reveal her gender identity to the press
Music that matters “As a Black woman, I make music for people, from an experience that is from a Black woman. I’m making music that hopefully makes other people feel good and helps me discover self-love. That message I want to go directly to Black women, big Black women, Black trans women. Period.” Lizzo in a cover interview with Rolling Stone magazine, clarifying exactly who her songs are for
Coming out as queer “I kept it low because I was scared of the pain of being accused of performative bandwagon jumping, over something that caused me a lot of confusion, fear and turmoil when I was a kid. I didn’t come from a family with *anyone* openly out. It’s also scary as an actor to openly admit your sexuality, especially when you’re already a brown female in your 30s. This is absolutely not how I wanted to come out.” Jameela Jamil in a statement on Twitter, following the backlash when she was announced as a judge on voguing show, Legendary
It was with disbelief that I read Father Ted creator and peddler of hate Graham Linehan had been invited on BBC Newsnight to talk about how his “vociferous arguing online” – read: transphobia, bullying, intimidation and harassment – has “cost him work”. I couldn’t bear to watch his interview with Sarah Smith and, frankly, wouldn’t want to give them the viewing figures. I cannot fathom why the BBC, a public service broadcaster, would see fit to give a platform to someone whose words and actions have caused untold emotional distress to trans people and to the wider LGBTQI community. Of course, Newsnight, and the BBC more generally, is no stranger to questionable choices – claiming that they are upholding objectivity and impartiality by presenting “both sides”. But, as I’ve written many times before, this hostile climate framing trans people as aggressors is a complete falsehood, and trans lives are not up for debate. Many were rightfully furious at the BBC’s decision. Writer Travis Alabanza said: “Graham and those similar will continue to say they are ‘silenced’, when a prime time news slot is given. This has a trickle down effect into families, homes and perceptions. Trans [people] deserve better.” Dan Hett was less reserved in his judgement, tweeting: “Stop granting giant platforms to these disgusting people you fucking idiots.” Juno Dawson said: “As trans and/or non-binary people we can’t rely on the British media. Self-care is key. Check in with your trans mates... We’re struggling with all this you know.” While another person tweeted: “When will the BBC learn to differentiate between hate speech and freedom of speech?” I think many of us are currently asking the very same, and we need answers.
9
VOICES
VOICES | VALENTINO VECCHIETTI
“Hiding our authentic selves cannot be the answer. We have to fight back” VALENTINO VECCHIETTI is a writer, academic, intersex human rights campaigner and a lesbian. They founded Intersex Equality Rights UK. @ValentinoInter
10 MARCH 2020
Fighting for intersex rights VALENTINO VECCHIETTI on their battle for intersex inclusion and representation
“Y
ou have a beard like a man, do you want me to punch you in the face like a man? Do you? Do you?” That’s the question a burly, white, cisgender, middle-class man with a beard shouted at me in my local coffee shop a few months ago. The woman behind the counter started crying. I was really scared, because I have spinal cord damage in my neck and a punch could likely cause paralysis or worse. But also, what the hell? Beards and moustaches do not belong to cis men. Cis women, intersex women, non-binary and trans people can have them, too. It is my right to make choices about my own body. I have a right not to be policed or punished because it is not the same as someone else’s. I am in a minority, but I have equal rights to the majority: that’s equality. But do I in law? No. Intersex people are not included in the Equalities Act 2010. There is no law to protect me. The man got away before the police arrived. The police filed the incident under homophobic and transphobic hate crime. There is no way to record interphobia, a hate crime against an intersex person, because it is not recognised as a crime in law. I’m a lesbian, intersex woman, from a non-white, immigrant background, who has experienced homelessness in childhood and adulthood. I will no longer be shamed or threatened into keeping any of this secret. But the backlash is real. Whether we are lesbian, gay, bi, trans or intersex, we are all at risk every time we step outside. Every time we are seen to be different from the majority. And hiding our authentic selves cannot be the answer. We have to fight back. Those who are regulars to my column will know that I campaign to end the harmful practice of non-consensual, cosmetic genital surgeries on infants and children
who are born with intersex variations. And to establish healthcare pathways in adulthood that support us. I also campaign for intersex inclusion and representation in cultural spaces, because I know how successful this has been for the LGBTQ community. Positive visibility changes hearts and minds. I believe public understanding, empathy and support is our route to equality. Stonewall UK has played a key role for LGB and T equality rights, but they don’t include intersex. And we haven’t had a similar charity campaigning for intersex equality rights. So, late last year, I began establishing a UK charity for all those born with intersex variations. Intersex Equality Rights UK will lobby for our equal rights. We plan to officially launch later this year. Allies in grassroots, community activism are essential. Izzy MacCallum is an intersex student who wants to support change. It is through Izzy that London-based trans activist group Transmissions – founded by Lucia Blayke – has welcomed and included intersex people. Izzy and I have hosted intersex awareness events at Transmissions. They are also helping to raise funds within the community to support my charity. Another activist group, Voices 4 London, has also been really supportive, creating platforms for intersex voices and testimonies. But it is also essential that larger, established organisations include and support us. I am so grateful for the role that DIVA magazine has played in supporting me. And, this year, I am delighted to say that I am also working on events with the British Film Institute’s Flare festival and Women Of The World Festival, so do look out for these. We can’t be cowed by prejudice. Despite feeling scared, I still go back into that coffee shop and I will keep doing that, because we all have a right to exist.
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Generation Q with the T? JUNO DAWSON reflects on representation in the L Word reboot
I is a bestselling author of YA fiction, a screenwriter and cabaret artist. @junodawson
12 MARCH 2020
loved The L Word so much. From 2004 to 2009 the gloriously soapy drama followed the lives of a group of aspirational gay and bi women living in LA. To see queer women doing anything on television was groundbreaking in itself, but over those six seasons, the characters dealt with breast cancer, selfharm, trans pregnancy, addiction and, it now transpires, suicide. I’m not sure anyone was crying out for a revival 10 years on – we’ve had gay women in Riverdale, Supergirl, Glee, Sense8 and so many more mainstream shows. We didn’t need a show dedicated to the specific trials of wealthy gay women in 2019. But, and I can only speak for myself here, I very much wanted one. Show creator Ilene Chaiken (now busy on The Handmaid’s Tale) handed over the reins to up-and-coming Marja-Lewis Ryan with a clear mandate to drag the concept (“queer women in LA”) into the modern day. The plot picks up 10 years on, with original Power Lesbian Bette Porter (the astonishingly good Jennifer Beals) now divorced from Tina (Laurel Holloman) and in the running to be Mayor of Los Angeles. She’s supported, as she ever was, by style icon Shane McCutcheon (Kate Moennig) and effervescent talk show host Alice Pieszecki (Leisha Hailey). Shane’s hair is unchanged. You’re looking very Shane today.
Fans of the original run will be delighted to hear that the main trio have lost none of their chemistry. It’s magic – it really is. The sense of shared history positively ebbs from the screen and their reunion in episode one brought me to tears. Bette is still a character driven by an angry rage for equality. No spoilers, but life events occurring during the hiatus have spurred her to run for public office and she’s more righteous than ever. The trio are still flawed – prone to terrible love-life choices and, despite their luxuriant surroundings, still relatable. However, Ryan was tasked with not only reuniting much-beloved old characters, but in creating a diverse cast of new ones. As such, new blood surrounds Bette, Shane and Alice: Alice is in a “throuple”, notoriously commitment-shy Shane is married and Bette’s campaign is spearheaded by an ambitious young publicist who lives in a shared house with queer people. As the title suggests, this is no longer just a show about lesbians. Trans man Micah (Leo Sheng) lives with newcomers Dani and Sophie, and a further trans man, Pierce (Brian Michael Smith), works with Bette. The cast, importantly, is diverse. The L Word was always somewhat diverse (I mean, compare it to Buffy or Queer As Folk), but came under fire (twice) for cast-
VIEWS | JUNO DAWSON ing non-Latinx actors to play Latinx roles (that’s Carmen and Papi, fact fans), and a cisgender actor as a trans man (Daniela Sea as Max). The new cast is ethnically representative and not only includes Sheng and Smith, but also trans actors Jamie Clayton as recovering alcoholic Tess and Sophie Giannamore as high schooler Jordi. It’s also encouraging to see a disabled character played by a disabled actor: Jillian Mercado as Maribel. I have no doubt the show will still come under scrutiny for both how femme and how thin the cast are. Nonetheless, I’m a huge fan of Jacqueline Toboni who, as kind-hearted, but very messy Finley, already feels as fully formed as a character as any of the original trio. The original run was criticised in particular for its representation of trans issues. The Max character was all over the place: sometimes abusive, sometimes abused. The scene where Kit (Pam Grier) lectures him on giving up the glorious gift of womanhood hasn’t aged well at all. Shane tells him she’ll “rip his tits off” if he hurts her friend. Awkward. I wonder if Micah is intended to set that right. We have a handsome trans man navigating Grindr; hooking up with the building manager, José (Freddy Miyares); redefining his relationship with his body and coping with a mother struggling with pronouns (played by Star Trek: TNG alum Rosalind Chao). Like a lot of the Generation Q characters, Micah needs to lighten up: like, babe, you’re young, you’re hot, you seemingly don’t need to work... cheer up! Live a little! There’s an abundance of bickering and I’d love to see the characters in season two (which was confirmed halfway through the first season’s US run) have more fun. The best thing about finding your queer family is how much fun it can be. Even a lot of the sex scenes in Generation Q are bittersweet in some way. Which brings us to recovering alcoholic Tess. Like many viewers, I was delighted that Jamie Clayton was involved. In her first episode, she tells Shane she’s pleased to see “girls like us” in the bar in which she works. I, like everyone else, assumed this was a reference to the #girlslikeus collective of transgender women on social media. How wonderful! I thought, The L Word is fully inclusive of trans lesbians. The future is now! But it wasn’t to be. Ryan later confirmed in an interview with Autostraddle that both Tess and high schooler Jordi are cis characters being played by transgender
actors: “That was something that when I met with Jamie and was like, what’s next, how can we push forward? And she was like, what if my character’s not trans? I was like, awesome... That feels like something I didn’t know and I wouldn’t have known to do that. But most of my job is to hire well and listen. So we’ll see how that goes.” Asked if she wants to have a trans woman character played by a trans woman, Ryan replies: “Sure, I’m down. I mean, another thing we wanted to do was all roles were open to all genders. So that we could just meet people even, because we want, like, non-binary folks on too, and how do you nurture young talent, you know? Just to have them in parts throughout the series has been really fun.” I am in no way suggesting this makes the series trans-exclusionary. The casting speaks for itself, but I couldn’t help but feel a little short-changed. Even with the huge steps forward with POSE, there are still precious few trans characters on TV and now I had two less than I thought I was getting. I’d always wondered how Bette, Shane and Alice would have received their trans sisters. Sadly, we’re yet to find out. I understand why Clayton might not want to retread ground she covered on Sense8 and why Ryan wants to so definitively show that trans women are women, and neither detract from Tess’s recovery plotline. Last summer I read a book that rocked my world: the superlative Trans Power by Juno Roche. In it, she very eloquently writes that for a long time, the “goal” of transition was to “pass” as cisgender. Being “trans” or being seen to be trans was something shameful, something best avoided. For too long, I subscribed to that philosophy. I wanted to get my transition over and done with so I could be a “real woman”. Trans women are women, but I realise now there’s nothing wrong with being trans: that word speaks of a shared struggle; a journey; our triumphs and progress. I can’t outrun who I am, and I don’t want to. Do I, as a trans woman, feel included in Ryan’s vision of Generation Q? Yes, I fully do. Trans people are there, and there is time yet to tell our stories in this world. In fact, this is me, very publicly, volunteering as tribute. Marja, if you want me in your writer’s room, I will drop everything and be on the first flight to Silver Lake.
“Trans people are there, and there is time yet to tell our stories in this world”
The L Word: Generation Q continues Tuesdays on Sky Atlantic and Now TV 13
VOICES | OLIVIA JONES
Why, as allies, we Must. Do. Better. OLIVIA JONES on our responsibility to fully support our trans and non-binary siblings
“It is not the responsibility of trans and nonbinary people to explain to me what their life is like”
OLIVIA JONES is a presenter based in Manchester. She lives with her wife and has a dangerous addiction to cheese. @ThatOliviaJones
14 MARCH 2020
I
t’s a time-held tradition as a gay woman to feel confusion, anger and, most of all, sympathy for the sheltered life people must have led to exclaim, “You’re the first lesbian I’ve ever met”! After this statement, nine times out of 10 the moment will become an education: “No, it’s not a decision, just in the same way you didn’t decide to be straight”, “Yes, I experience homophobia, even in the UK”, “No, my parents were fine with it and, yes, I am lucky not to have been birthed by bigots, I guess”. Having had these experiences, I know it is not the responsibility of trans and non-binary people to explain to me what their life is like. Instead, I have the chance to become an ally to the community, which is something I am still very much working on. In fact, it was on my radio show recently that I realised I have plenty more work to do. As I’m sure you’re aware, Sam Smith announced that they identify as nonbinary and that they use the genderneutral pronouns they and them. As soon as the information had been made public, I adjusted the way I talked about Sam on air accordingly, taking the opportunity to praise them for making something personal public, reiterating that the community deserves visibility but, as Ellen DeGeneres does not represent all lesbians, Sam should not have to bear the responsibility of representing all people who identify as non-binary. The backlash in mainstream media was eye-roll-inducing, from the same click-driven websites and attention-seeking commentators as always. Lazy journalism and opportunists wasted a chance to love by encouraging hate. Regardless, I knew my role as a radio DJ was to embrace Sam’s news and implement it without disproportionate fanfare, putting pressure
on my colleagues to do the same. It was just after Sam released I Feel Love, a Donna Summer cover which I adore and started playing on my show straight away, that I made my mistake. I wanted to praise Sam for the head-swimming disco dancefloor glitterball paradise which was filling my speakers and, without thought, misgendered them live on air. As soon as it happened my eyes widened and, as I didn’t want to draw attention to it, I finished the radio link quickly, without correcting my mistake. I thought maybe if I did, I would sound flustered, weak. I thought I might be enabling people who choose to wilfully misunderstand trans and non-binary identities to say, “See, it’s not easy”. Either way, I did the wrong thing and I am sorry. I am sorry to Sam, of course, but most of all, I’m sorry to the trans and nonbinary communities. I am sorry that there might have been someone listening to that show that needed to hear me get it right. To know that there is a world of people on their side, taking their experience seriously and including them, without fuss. Some people reading this article will think I’ve made a mountain out of a molehill. I did something small, which a tiny fraction of the population heard, and it was about someone who almost certainly wasn’t listening. However, the point I’m making is this: in order to consider myself an ally I must do better and I think that’s true for a lot of us. We must do better to avoid perpetrating the micro-aggressions which we all experience as part of the LGBTQI community. We must do better to embrace and support a community which is experiencing an onslaught of criticism in the media. We must do better to educate ourselves and not leave it to the trans and non-binary communities to educate us. We must do better.
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FEATURES
Shane (left) with Gen Q alumni Finley (Jacqueline Toboni)
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Still looking very Shane today Kate Moennig gets candid about her iconic L Word character
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Genderqueer celebrities in all of their non-binary finery
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Beyond the binary An intro to gender non-conforming cultures around the world
18 MARCH 2020
PHOTOS HILARY BRONWYN GAYLE /SHOWTIME
This is what nonbinary looks like
More info on Contents page 3
COVER STORY | KATE MOENNIG
Still looking very Shane today IN AN EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW, L WORD LEGEND KATE MOENNIG GETS CANDID WITH DIVA’S ROXY BOURDILLON. READ ON TO FIND OUT WHAT IT WAS LIKE FILMING MORE LOVE SCENES THAN ANY OTHER CAST MEMBER, WHETHER SHE THINKS CARMEN SHOULD MAKE A COMEBACK AND HOW PLAYING THE ULTIMATE LESBIAN PIN-UP HELPED KATE EMBRACE HER OWN SEXUALITY
Four hundred giddy gay women gather one chilly London evening for a screening of The L Word: Generation Q. Viewing parties for the original show were legendary, often descending into rowdy debauchery. As someone who devoured all six seasons covertly under the quilt in my teenage bedroom, this is the first time I’ve ever attended one. The crowd around me bubbles with anticipation. We’ve been waiting a decade for this. For the return of that most fabled of sapphically inclined shows. And then, 10 minutes into the first episode, the most celebrated lesbian TV character of all time appears onscreen. She has artfully tousled hair, a nonchalant swagger and the chiselled jawline of someone destined to be a dreamboat. Onlookers whoop and holler in appreciation. The familiar figure disembarks a private jet and casually makes sex-eyes at a coquettish flight attendant, who she proceeds to bang on a kitchen counter within a matter of seconds. It’s at that precise moment, mid-worktop-smash, that the audience collectively dissolves into one girly, swirly, swooning mess. We have just been Shaned. Before there was Stella in Orange Is The New Black, Dallas in Below Her Mouth or Frankie in Lip Service, there was Shane – a character so universally irresistible that every woman she met seemed to spontaneously drop her knickers in a nanosecond. As viewers, we weren’t always sure whether we wanted to be her or be with her, or perhaps it was a mindboggling amalgamation of the two. She inspired a generation of fuckboi Shane-anigans and questionable fashion trends, including skinny ties, smudgy soft-butch eyeliner and leather lace-up waistcoats worn with matching drawstring trousers. But her impact went far beyond eye candy and style inspo. Shane has become shorthand in our community. Even women who have never seen the series know who Shane is, what “Shane” means. To many, Shane didn’t just shape lesbian culture; Shane is lesbian culture. She is iconic, and not iconic in the flippant way the term is tossed about on social media nowadays. She’s not #iconic like the stack of pancakes you had for breakfast this morning. She is a legitimate, bonafide lesbian icon in a very real, very >>>
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rare way. It is no exaggeration to say that Shane is one of the most influential, potent, powerful depictions of queer female sexuality there has ever been on TV. As I watch the audience melt a little more every moment she’s onscreen, I wonder, what exactly is it about Shane that makes her such a phenomenon? A few weeks later I get my answer, from none other than the woman who plays her, Kate pinchme-is-that-really-you-I’m-talking-to Moennig. “She’s very specific, and specificity is so important,” Kate smoulders from across the Atlantic. Even down the phone line, she exudes innate rock star charisma. It may be 8am in her LA home, but I suspect she has that just-woke-up gravel in her voice whatever time of day it is. “Selfpossession is a very intoxicating trait. Shane has that and it’s authentic. To have a character so unapologetic of who she is, it’s refreshing to see.” Through her singular performance as the unofficial lord of the lesbians, Kate showed us a different way we could exist in the world. As she points out, Shane is enviably at ease with herself. She’s known she was gay since her first crush in primary school. We learn in season one that her name was Tiffany Gardner: “She’s just sitting there in the sand playing hard to get... That girl took my sunshine meal toy, then she took my heart.” The only non-femme in a glossy ensemble of ultra-preened lipstick lezzies, Shane embodied the beauty of androgyny and made being visibly queer suddenly seem really quite cool after all. But let’s find out a little more about the woman behind the legend. Born in Philadelphia, Kate was the only daughter of a Broadway showgirl and a violin-maker. “A tough little kid, a tomboy, I was pretty fearless. I certainly took more risks then than I do now.” Coming from a family of showbiz veterans, including her Emmy-winning aunt Blythe Danner and A-list cousin Gwyneth Paltrow, it’s no surprise that Kate decided to pursue acting at an early age. “It made the most sense to me. I figured I’d go for it and see what kind of ride I’d get, and if it didn’t work out, I’d figure out something else. But I’ve been pretty fortunate so far.” After graduating from New York’s prestigious American
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20 MARCH 2020
Academy Of Dramatic Arts, her breakthrough role was on Dawson’s Creek spin-off Young Americans. Then, at the tender age of 24, she was cast as Shane, a part that would change not only her life, but the lives of queer women around the world.
Self-possession is a very intoxicating trait ” Kate knew from the beginning that she was working with an extraordinary group of people. She describes the cast’s immediate synergy as “lightning in a bottle”. TV had never seen a series like The L Word and it had certainly never seen a character like Shane. The lesbian James Dean, she was a female incarnation of the perennially male, emotionally withholding heartthrob. “I always had a soft spot for Shane, because she’s a bit misunderstood. Her quest was always to find someone that accepted her for who she was. She’s a bit lonely, but her friends are her family, and I think a lot of people can relate to that.” The key to capturing her unique essence is working out what makes her tick and, after playing her for so many years, Kate knows the very bones of Shane. “She’s comfortable in her own skin. She is who she is and she’s not apologetic about it. Nor is she flaunting it in everyone’s face, because when people have that inherent confidence they don’t need to. That’s what made sense to me when I was investigating who she was. It was always going back to this quiet confidence.” She tells me the greatest challenge of playing Shane is “trying to understand why she does the things she does”. “Why would she end this relationship? Why would she sabotage that? It comes down to the fact that I don’t think she believes, deep down, that she deserves these things. She has the Midas Touch and she’s
able to get pretty much whatever she wants, but when she has it she thinks to herself either, ‘I don’t deserve this’ or ‘I don’t want this’.” When The L Word ended in 2009, Kate’s career continued to flourish. Her first big post-Shane gig was on crime drama Ray Donovan, playing Lena – described by Showtime as “a no-nonsense lesbian who is both sexy and tough”. “That show was a very dark film noir, male-dominated world. It was such a culture shock, because of the different energy. A complete 180 from The L Word.” After seven seasons on Ray Donovan, last year she did a stint on acclaimed comedy, Grown-ish, as gay gender studies professor Paige. “You know, Grown-ish actually felt the closest to The L Word in terms of camaraderie. That show was very reminiscent.” But while Kate has played many brilliant, often queer, characters, there’s no role quite like Shane and no show quite like The L Word. Since as early as 2012, Kate was discussing a potential comeback with costars Jennifer Beals (Bette) and Leisha Hailey (Alice), and The L Word’s creator Ilene Chaiken. “I really missed working with the girls. We always felt like the original show ended prematurely. We did have a lot more story to share, but since we only had six seasons, it got truncated.” It was initially unclear what form a new iteration might take, but the success of reboots like Will & Grace presented a possible framework. A political climate that was growing increasingly hostile towards marginalised people, and Trump’s devastating election victory in 2016, made the return of The L Word seem all the more urgent. As Jennifer writes so eloquently in an op-ed for The Hollywood Reporter, “We knew we had to do something... We were storytellers after all... Let the stories provide visibility and agency.” Kate shared that piece on social media with the caption: “@jenniferbeals never fails to amaze me. This is beautiful”. Her love for her costars is effusive. “The sisterhood and the bond runs so deep,” she says emphatically. “Jennifer is one in a million and I adore her so much.” Kate and Leisha speak on the phone before 9am most mornings and hang out constantly. Back on set in the noughties, Mia Kir>>> shner nicknamed them “pants”,
COVER STORY | KATE MOENNIG
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Shane, Alice (left) and Bette (right) carry on where they left off
because you’d never see one half of the pair without the other. In The L Word’s sequel, Shane and Alice’s lived-in, genuinely hilarious banter is a joy to behold. How similar is that onscreen rapport to their real-life bezzieship? “Leisha’s not as snarky as Alice, but yeah, Leisha and I have a very playful dynamic. So when we get to work together, we always look to find things in the scene that aren’t
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22 MARCH 2020
there on the page and add more to it, because we have such a rich history.” Before Gen Q filming commenced, they attempted to rewatch vintage episodes. Kate chuckles, “It didn’t really pan out the way we hoped. We couldn’t bear watching ourselves. We were like, ‘Ok, I think we got the gist of it’.” She was nervous about slipping back into Shane’s Converse, but hav-
ing two of her closest pals by her side definitely helped. The first scene she filmed was just the OGs. “It was very surreal to be sitting there looking at each other, thinking to ourselves, ‘Alright, well 10 years later we’re picking up where we left off’. The anticipation had built up so much that you think you won’t be able to find it. But then when it comes down to actually doing it, you’re sitting among two people
COVER STORY | KATE MOENNIG ise in the mid-length shag. “She’s incredibly wealthy suddenly. She has this incredible house and you’re just wondering, ‘Where the hell did all this money come from?’ It’s completely outlandish, but who knows what could happen? Maybe she loses all of her money.” There’s plenty of scope for future plot development as Gen Q has already been commissioned for a second season. Along with Jennifer, Leisha and Ilene, Kate is an executive producer, meaning she has input on Shane’s storylines. “You’re not in charge of writing it. It’s more about steering the ship of your character in the right direction. You have a host of new writers and they have watched the show, but they don’t know your character like you do.” Although there was some criticism levelled at the original, mainly for its representation of bi women, trans men and people of colour, there’s no denying that when it burst on to screens back in 2004, The L Word was truly groundbreaking. It paved the way for the plethora of queer characters we enjoy today. Last year’s annual GLAAD Where We Are On TV report confirmed a record high for LGBTQI representation, with 10.2% of broadcast primetime characters identifying as something other than cis and straight. Even more excitingly, for the first time the majority of them were women. So you could be forgiven for asking, how necessary is it to have The L Word return now the telly landscape is so much more rainbow hued? Kate is thoughtful in her response. “It’s incredibly important and it helps move the needle forward. The great thing is that there are so many other programmes that have LGBTQI characters and those shows, I believe, are doing quite well. You have POSE and Vida and others, and it’s wonderful. And then we get to be a part of that conversation. That’s the thing about TV. You get sucked into characters and that you know so well that are suddenly back in their characters. It was like riding a bike. It was just scary to think of getting back on that bike.” In the new season, Bette’s running for mayor, Alice has her own talk show and baby Angelica is in high school. Uncle Shane, as Angie calls her, is now obscenely wadded due to her international chain of hair salons, which presumably special-
We were our own intimacy coordinators”
storylines that you maybe don’t know much about and then you can relate to them. That’s the beauty of it.” Another of the glorious things about television, and The L Word in particular, is all those juicy sex scenes. In the original run, Shane clocked up more onscreen hook-ups than any other character. Let’s take a moment to reminisce, shall we? There was the strap-on pool sex with Hollywood housewife Cherie Jaffe, the ill-fated threesome with Dawn Denbo and Her Lover Cindi, that time she screwed not one, not two, but three members of the same bridal party and who could forget when she got it on with Alice’s mum, Lenore (Sharmen was hot and everything, but personally I ship Shenore). According to The Chart, by season four Shane had slept with 963 different women. Imagine how high that number must be now. And how does Kate feel about it all? “Sex is a part of life and if there’s a solid reason for having that scene and it’s propelling the story and the character forward, absolutely. Because it can say a lot without saying anything.” The L Word’s steamy scenes were always gripping, but Gen Q’s seem, to me at least, even more nuanced. Kate explains that the actors now work with an intimacy coordinator. “That’s a new practice that got put in place a few years ago. They’re the negotiator, essentially. Their job is to have the actors’ best interests at heart in these potentially compromising scenarios. We didn’t have that back in the day, but mercifully on the original show it was an incredibly safe environment where no one ever felt taken advantage of. We were always looking out for each other. We were our own intimacy coordinators.” While Shane’s had no shortage of bedfellows, there was, of course, one romantic pairing in particular that captured the hearts of legions of viewers. Fans were hooked right from Shane and Carmen’s very first encounter. You know the scene I’m talking about. They’re in a recording studio, Shane caresses Carmen’s lower back tattoo and, as they get busy getting jiggy, an EZ Girl remix keeps stuttering, “k-k-k-kissing, f-ff-fucking”. YouTube, which launched the same year Sarah Shahi joined the cast, was flooded with homemade >>> supercuts of their best, and
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OGs Shane, Bette (left) and Alice (right) show a new generation how to do lez/bi brunch
filthiest, moments. But, alas, in season three a million queer hearts simultaneously shattered when Shane did the unthinkable and jilted Carmen at the altar. That was 14 years ago and people are still not over it. Kate is still regularly asked whether Carmen will ever make a comeback. “That’s been a constant from the day Sarah left to now.” Why does she think so many audience members want Sharmen to be endgame? “Because Sarah Shahi is a force to be reckoned with. It’s kind of like forbidden fruit in a way. You want it, but you know you can’t have it. Also, I think the relationship ended quite suddenly, so that threw everyone for a loop.” Did their sizzling chemistry come naturally? “Absolutely. We just hit it off instantly. It’s a bit incestuous to say, but she’s like my sister.” Fans will be chuffed to hear that Kate is very up for a reunion. “Oh yeah, I would love Sarah to return. I mean, Sarah’s a busy girl, but even just an episode would be so rewarding and would give closure to something that people have been waiting for for >>>
24 MARCH 2020
so long. It would help Shane, as well, to gain closure.” Watching the revival, I’m eager to meet Shane’s latest love interest. Who on earth could match up to Carmen’s magnetism? Enter pop goddess and the only woman to successfully entice Shane all the way up the aisle, Quiara, played by the super-talented and genetically blessed Lex Scott Davis. “Lex worked really hard in finding that quiet strength that would have someone like Shane commit. She comes off incredibly strong, incredibly poised and incredibly grounded.” Whoever she’s involved with, Shane is always an engaging character, but she’s also so much more than that. She sparked an epiphany in countless women, encouraging us to acknowledge our own identities and embrace our true desires. And, as it turns out, Shane had a similar effect on the person playing her. During a recent interview on RuPaul’s What’s The Tee? podcast, Kate reveals how The L Word helped her discover her own sexuality. “I went to Catholic
school for 13 years, so I wasn’t really in an environment to explore that, especially in the 80s and 90s... Back then, that shit did not exist. I didn’t think about it so much in high school and, oddly enough, when I got The L Word, that’s when my wheels started turning.” I ask why the series was such a lightbulb moment for her. “Well, I worked on a show for six years with a group of women, Ilene Chaiken being at the helm of it, and people like Rose Troche and Guinevere Turner and all these incredible writers and actors. It was a female-driven show and the majority of them were very comfortable in who they were, and so I was able to be in that energy field. It was so exciting and so eyeopening to be around.” In 2017, Kate married Brazilian musician and film director Ana Rezende in an intimate ceremony with 15 guests. Had Ana seen The L Word before they met at a party “a good long while” ago? “She wasn’t some big fan of the show, but she had certainly watched it. That show seemed to have
COVER STORY | KATE MOENNIG
Shane (right) and Finley at Shane’s new bar, Dana’s
impacted a lot of people, which is so rewarding to hear.” And what does her wife think of her being back in her most famous role? “Oh, she’s so proud that she sees all the work we’ve put in finally come to fruition.” Throughout our conversation, Kate maintains her Shanelike demeanour. She is charming, gracious and one of the most chilled-out people I’ve ever spoken to. She’s at her most animated when talking about her beloved costars. Like Shane, Kate has endless affection for her closest friends. She is also completely devoted to animals. Her Instagram feed consists almost entirely of snaps of her pets, and even the odd video clip accompanied by a comically jaunty musical soundtrack. The link in her bio takes you not to a fawning celebrity profile, but directly to the donation page of an animal rescue centre. I have one last question before I let Kate get back to her life, her wife and her adorable furry friends: what has being on The L Word taught her? She pauses for a moment, then lands
Your chosen family is just as powerful, if not more powerful, than anything in the world”
on, “Friendship. The show’s taught me about friendship”. The L Word was never just about insanely hot sex scenes or who was cheating on who. It was about the revolutionary power, comfort and validation that comes from seeing queer female friends together onscreen. And, for many of us – particularly we closeted, watching-under-the-duvet souls – those characters were the first gay friends we found. They gave us a sense of belonging, made us laugh when we felt despair and convinced us that we were neither shameful nor alone. And for all her romantic missteps, Shane was a loyal, loving friend, just as Kate is to Leisha and Jennifer. As Kate herself puts it so perfectly, “Love comes in many forms and friendship is one of them. Your chosen family is just as powerful, if not more powerful, than anything in the world.”
The L Word: Generation Q continues Tuesdays on Sky Atlantic and Now TV
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GENDERQUEER CELEBRITIES IN ALL OF THEIR NON-BINARY FINERY WORDS DANIELLE MUSTARDE
“Some people find they don’t feel comfortable thinking of themselves as simply either male or female,” explains the wonderfully accessible scottishtrans.org. “Instead they feel that their gender identity is more complicated to describe. Some may identify their gender as right in the middle between male and female, while others may feel mainly male but not 100% male (or vice versa, not feel 100% female). Alternatively, they may entirely reject defining their gender in terms of male and female in any way.” The explainer continues: “As their gender does not conform to traditional, western ideas of gender as binary, they can be considered to be non-binary people.” This piece is a celebration of our non-binary or “enby” (that’s slang for non-binary) friends. If you’re still learning about what it means to iden-
26 MARCH 2020
tify as non-binary or genderqueer? Welcome. Let us introduce you to just some of the most recognisable nonbinary faces popping up on our telly boxes and laptop screens right now. This is what non-binary looks like – at least, in our small corner of the world.
ASIA KATE DILLON Actor Asia Kate Dillon, 35, is probably best known for their role as Taylor Mason in Showtime’s Billions – the first ever non-binary role to feature in an American television series. Notably, Dillon also starred as Brandy Epps in Orange Is The New Black. “Non-binary is a term used by some people, myself included, who feel that their gender identity falls outside the traditional boxes of man or woman,” they told ABC News. “When I got to the script for Billions and the character breakdown said fe-
PIDGEON PAGONIS Non-binary intersex activist and filmmaker Pidgeon Pagonis, 34, was the person behind the Twitterstorm-worthy #intersexstories hashtag which got traction all over the world on Intersex Awareness Day back in 2015. Pagonis, who’s since created the film A Normal Girl, also featured on the groundbreaking Gender Revolution cover of National Geographic in January 2017. “People don’t read me as either male or female,” Pagonis, who prefers the non-binary pronouns they/them, told NBC News in an interview celebrating their activism. Speaking to the British Council about language and identity in 2019, Pagonis explained: “When you’re a fish with no school, it’s scary. But when you find that word to identify, you find your school. I am intersex. I am not binary in my biology or my gender.” (NB: Not all intersex people identify as non-binary.)
BRIGETTE LUNDY-PAINE Atypical actor and King Princess style-a-like Brigette Lundy-Paine came out on Instagram in 2019, when they wrote (alongside a choice photo of a cat): “I’m non-binary, always felt a lil bit boy, lil bit girl, lil bit neither. us-
PHOTOS IMDB, PP, CREATIVE COMMONS
THIS IS WHAT NONBINARY LOOKS LIKE
male and non-binary, a little lightbulb went off in my head... I did a bit of research and discovered that female is an assigned sex and non-binary is in reference to gender identity – and those are two different things. It finally helped me put language to a feeling that I’d had my entire life.” When asked about the importance of visibility, the actor added: “Sometimes you have to see the thing to know that it exists.” Amen, Asia.
FEATURES | NON-BINARY ing they/them as of late [and] it feels right.” The 25-year-old star continued: “scary af to come out n been rly putting this off. But I feel I owe it to myself and to all of us who struggle w gender. If you’re NB comment and celebrate yourself! u r beautiful and u r whole.” Others in the community did indeed comment with replies including: “WE’RE HERE WE’RE CUTE AND WE’RE HUMAN !!!” / “That’s fantastic. Be yourself. much respect” / “Epic epic epic” / “Excuse me what pronouns do you go by so i can rant about how fabulous you are to ppl.” Lovely stuff.
21-year-old for, according to Insider magazine). In 2018, however, the actor – who famously dated genderqueer musician and veritable queer icon, King Princess – told the Washington Post she had since realised she, “didn’t need those pronouns to feel comfortable... And [that] it felt almost detrimental to those who really did need them.”
JONATHAN VAN NESS Speaking to Out magazine last year, Queer Eye sweetheart Van Ness, 32, said: “I’m gender nonconforming. Like, some days I feel like a man, but then other days I feel like a woman... Any opportunity I have to break down stereotypes of the binary, I am down for it, I’m here for it. I think that a lot of times gender is used to separate and divide. It’s this social construct that I don’t really feel like I fit into the way I used to.” On visibility, JVN added: “Social media has changed so much in terms of visibility. I just want to show people that you can change your circumstances, you can just make your own lane.” Yasss, JVN.
JANELLE MONÁE Queen of cool, Monáe, 34, recently retweeted a GIF of a non-binary character from cartoon Steven Universe featuring the caption, “Are you a boy or girl? I’m an experience” with the accompanying comment: “There is absolutely nothing better than living outside the gender binary,” written by the original tweeter. Within the retweet, Monáe added the hashtag #IAmNonbinary as well as a Saturn emoji. Though, as writer and activist Travis Alabanza wisely wrote, “That tweet could be seen as coming out, but without much else, we should not make assumptions.” Either way, whether a coming out, a declaration or a show of support, it’s all good stuff and as Alabanza concluded, “for Janelle to use the word non-binary cannot be underestimated”, particularly so in a space that can often seem pretty damn white.
Other terms used to describe being non-binary include...
Genderqueer, third gender, bigender, androgyne, agender, gender-fluid, non-gender and more.
AMANDLA STENBERG The Hate U Give star Amandla Stenberg first came out as non-binary in a Tumblr post in 2016, later sharing that she had begun using they/ them pronouns (something followers criticised the
RUBY ROSE Way back when in 2014, OITNB and Batwoman’s Ruby Rose, now 33, released Break Free, a short film exploring “gender roles, trans, and what it is like to have an identity that deviates from the status quo”. Later speaking to the Guardian, Rose confirmed the film was, “very autobiographical,” adding, “I feel like I’m a boy, but I don’t feel like I should’ve been born with different parts of my body or anything like that. I feel like it’s just all in how I dress and how I talk and how I look and feel, and that makes me happy. I really sit in a more neutral place, which I’m grateful for >>> as well.”
A note on pronouns...
Non-binary people can use a range of pronouns, including the most common ones “he” and “she”. However, they may be more likely to use gender-neutral pronouns such as the singular “they” and “their” to reflect that they don’t identify as either male or female. Other gender-neutral pronouns include “zie” and “hir”, which are used less often and mostly online. If a person tells you they are non-binary, it is perfectly polite to ask them what pronouns they would like you to use, such as asking directly: “Excuse me, but which pronouns do you use?” Once someone has let you know their pronouns, it is really important to try and get them right as much as possible. 27
Star of the wonderfully diverse US series Vida, queer Latinx actor Ser Anzoategui, 40, told meaww.com at the beginning of 2020 that, as a non-binary person, they understand first hand how difficult it is when you don’t fit the norms of society, but that they believe things are changing: “The effort is huge. I hope other communities actually listen... If we continue to progress further in this direction, there can actually be a shift in reality. It can change people’s lives and make a huge difference. There is so much more to do and we need to work hand-in-hand.” Si, por favor.
EZRA MILLER In 2018, actor Ezra Miller entered queer history after their “genderbending” Playboy shoot, complete with Bunny ears, fishnets and size 14 heels, all per his request. The 27-yearold Fantastic Beasts And Where To Find Them star, who personally identifies as queer and sees it as “an umbrella of non-identification”, told the mag (well known for catering to a cis, straight male audience) “I’m trying to find queer beings who understand me as a queer being off the bat, and I feel like I’m married to them 25 lifetimes ago. And then they are in the squad – the polycule.” On being non-binary, Miller told The Hollywood Reporter, “I don’t identify. Like, fuck that... Queer just means no, I don’t do that. I don’t identify as a man, I don’t identify as a woman. I barely identify as a human.”
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LACHLAN WATSON In a short roundtable video by Netflix, titled What I Wish You Knew: About Being Nonbinary, the Chilling Adventures Of Sabrina actor Lachlan Watson explores what it means to be non-binary alongside fellow non-binary actors and activists, Liv Hewson (Santa Clarita Diet), Shiva Raichandani (London School Of Bollywood) and Jacob Tobia (author of Sissy: A ComingOfGender Story). “People think of gender as a finite and objective thing that starts here and it ends here – that you go from one place to another and it’s not that. For me, it just keeps going, it’s a continuing line.” The 19-year-old continues: “My gender identity does not relate to my sexual orientation, even remotely. I identify as both non-binary and pansexual, which are two very fancy ways of saying, ‘I don’t care’ [laughs]. I see through you into your soul, like... do you understand me as a person? Can you give me what I need as a person, as a soul? That’s what’s important to me.”
BEX TAYLOR-KLAUS “I identify as... something in between?” Actor BexTaylor-Klaus, 25, begins in an It Gets Better Project YouTube video. “[I identify as] something neither, something new, something old, something borrowed, something blue. I’m all my own, baby.” Continuing, TaylorKlaus, who rose to fame in The Killing, explains: “Growing up there are a lot of times where you end up ostracised and separated and feeling different and feeling secluded for your dif-
ference, especially when you’re queer, but also in general in this world... I think the entertainment community can better serve non-binary actors by understanding that non-binary is a spectrum. It is a wide variety of beautiful human beings. The entire point is that we’re not stuck in one thing. It’s not black and white, it’s not one and two, it’s 500 if you feel like it. It’s so bright and beautiful and vast...”
ROES The rapper Roes – aka Angel Haze – is probably most famous for her song Battle Cry, featuring Australian megastar Sia. In 2016, the 28-year-old, US-born artist, who also identifies as pansexual, told The Evening Standard frankly: “I sound like four people when I get written about as ‘they’. It drives me crazy. Sometimes I want to be a dick and say: ‘Call me they,’ just to see how seriously people take me. But they do take me seriously, so it’s not that much fun. If you call me ‘him’ or ‘her’ it doesn’t matter to me. I don’t consider myself of any sex. I consider myself an experience.”
Do you identify as non-binary? Let us know who your role models are! Tweet @DIVAmagazine #ThisIsWhatNonBinaryLooksLike
PHOTOS GAGE SKIDMORE, IMDB, JØRUND FØRELAND/WIKIPEDIA, INSTAGRAM
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FEATURES | BEYOND THE BINARY “The workings of gender are key to our identities, intimate relationships, everyday experiences and social and cultural positioning,” begins Sally Hines, associate professor at The University Of Leeds and author of the recently published book Is Gender Fluid? “Understandings, and thus practices, of gender have never been consistent... The ways in which gender is experienced in everyday life emerge from different historical, social and cultural frameworks. Traits seen to be typically masculine or feminine,” in the west, for example, “have changed greatly over time.” Harry Styles’ current wardrobe, anyone? As Sally explains, the way humans think about gender and identity varies widely across different societies, cultures and communities, as well as historically over time, and yet, many think this is somehow a recent, western phenomenon. As Teen Vogue’s news and politics editor Lucy Diavolo wrote recently, “[While] the transgender community continues to fight for civil rights in the US, one of the most common arguments against progress is that transgender people are a recent phenomenon... a symptom of the postmodern condition, or identity politics on steroids.” In reality, of course, and as Diavolo quips, “It’s nothing new”. The way we think about and understand gender is ever evolving. Take the commonly given example of the consumerism-driven, “gendering” of the colours blue and pink (in western culture, at least). As I’m sure you’ve all read somewhere, someplace, indeed pink was originally put forward as the colour for boys and blue for girls. Advertising, as ever, has a lot to answer for. Secondly, trans, non-binary and otherwise gender nonconforming people (inclusive of those around the globe who don’t use or identify with the aforementioned western terms) have been around for centuries. In short, as many a Gen Z’s badge-emblazoned backpack proudly declares today: “Gender is a social construct!” But how have, and how do different cultures and societies around the globe experience and interact with gender as it’s understood in their own cultures? What models exist outside of the male/female binary-based one we know oh so well here in the west? And where, indeed, might gender non-conforming* communities flourish? In a bid to expand our gender horizons a little further, here’s
an introduction to just a handful of those communities who have lived beyond binaries... A little note on terminology*. In this article, we use gender non-conforming as shorthand for people around the world who sit outside of their culture’s most usual understandings of gender. However, as Lucy Diavolo crucially reminds us, “While it might be tempting to apply a label like ‘transgender’ to all of these people, it’s important to respect their sovereignty in defining their own identities”.
“Gender systems in the west have largely followed a binary model, in which male and female are understood to be the only gender categories... A consideration of gender systems across the globe shows that this has not always been the case elsewhere.” Sally Hines, Is Gender Fluid?
HIJRA “One of the oldest gender non-conforming communities in the world,” according to Is Gender Fluid?, “Hijra is a South Asian term describing a person assigned male (or intersex) at birth, but who lives as female. Historically, many Hijra communities have existed in South Asia and they continue to be part of contemporary society.” In fact, as Jacob Ogles writes in 19 LGBT Hindu Gods, “For centuries, Hindu literature, mythology and religious texts have featured deities that defied the gender binary”. Sally continues, “The Hijra community has long been a part of Indian culture” and were “renowned for their sacred qualities”. Though today, in contemporary India, “many earn money through sex work and from performing certain religious blessings”. Fact: In 2014, Hijra people were legally recognised as a third gender in India (though the situation remains complex).
TWO-SPIRIT “Though the label has only been used since the 90s, the concept of the two-spirit is something indigenous groups have identified with for centuries,” begins educator and storyteller Geo Soctomah Neptune in a video for website, them.us. “It’s an umbrella term that bridges indigenous and western understandings of gender and sexuality.” If you’ve seen Desiree Akhavan’s film The Miseducation Of Cameron Post, you’ll have come across two-spirit character Adam Red Eagle (Forrest Goodluck). In the film, Adam tells his father he’s winkte and two-spirit. These are “words that exist on a Lakotan
spectrum of gender”. As Goodluck told online magazine Hero, “winkte is specifically a Lakotan term”. Fact: The two-spirit tradition has been identified in some of the earliest discoveries of native artefacts, and today is celebrated in Pride events in North America (and may be included as the “2” at the end of LGBTQI2).
FA’AFAFINE “Recognised as a gender identity by Samoan society since at least the 20th century,” explains Kimberly Truong for Refinery29, “Fa’afafine means ‘in the way of a woman’.” But how do the fa’afafine themselves explain the identity? “Western society tries to fit us [in] a box, to put us under gay, under trans and queer... but I think fa’afafine is our cultural identity – it defines us,” Lee Hang, a Samoan fa’afafine, told Reuters. “Despite the body that you have, if you love it, accept it and beautify what you have, it’s all that matters.” Fact: According to the BBC, between 1-5% of the Samoan population identifies as fa’afafine.
TRAVESTI “In some South American cultures,” our friend Sally Hines writes, “a travesti is a person who was assigned male at birth but identifies as female. Travesti often appear more feminine but may not identify fully as women or as men, rather claiming a separate gender identity with its own rules.” It seems that, historically, travesti people were understood as “both men and women”, but, today, they are more often considered “a third gender”. Fact: As we’re in the Americas already... There’s also the muxe people of the Mexican Zapotec culture who were recognised “as a third gender in a system predating Spanish colonialism”. The take-away message? As Lucy Diavolo wonderfully summarises, “[These] stories offer up a simple lesson: There are always people who find themselves on the outside of simple binaries”.
Want to share your thoughts on this article? Tweet us @DIVAmagazine, #BeyondTheBinary
*Fancy learning more? Check out these other examples of gender non-conforming communities and cultures around the world and across herstory. Hawaii: Māhu– Indonesia: Waria Italy (18th century): Femminiello 31
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Noémie Merlant (left) and Adèle Haenel
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A Wainwright with words Sally Wainwright on the return of Last Tango In Halifax
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Feel Good Roxy Bourdillon visits the set of Mae Martin’s new sitcom
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This Is The End Writer Samantha Strauss talks to DIVA about dying with dignity
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peaking at a BAFTA Screenwriters’ Lecture at the end of 2019, French screenwriter Céline Sciamma (Water Lilies, Tomboy, Girlhood) explains of her process: “I do have my way of doing it. I guess, at this stage, I could drop a central notion here: Desire. Writing is about... trying to build an architecture of multiple desires.” And it’s desire that’s precisely the foundation of her latest film, Portrait Of A Lady On Fire. Portrait, which won both the Queer Palm and Best Screenplay at Cannes last year, follows the story of a young, female painter (Noémie Merlant; Return Of The Hero, La Fête Des Mères) who, after being sent to an isolated island in Bretagne, France, at the end
of the 18th Century, is obliged to paint a wedding portrait of a young woman (Adèle Haenel; Water Lilies, 120 Beats Per Minute) in secret. With meticulously choreographed scenes, its untamed coastal setting and, indeed, Sciamma’s oh-so-carefully crafted “architecture of multiple desires”, Portrait is an experience to succumb to. Once we’d caught our breath following a screening one bright December morning last year, we were lucky enough to sit down with lead actors, Adèle and Noémie, the 31-year-old Parisians who portray the painted, Héloïse, and the painter, Marianne, at the core of Céline Sciamma’s physically fleeting, emotionally enduring love story... (Warning – mild spoilers ahead.)
CULTURE | PORTRAIT OF A LADY ON FIRE
Portrait Of A Lady On Fire DANIELLE MUSTARDE MEETS THE STARS OF THIS GORGEOUS NEW FRENCH FLICK AHEAD OF ITS UK CINEMA RELEASE
Bonjour Noémie, Adèle. What is the story of Portrait Of A Lady On Fire, in your own words? NOÉMIE & ADÈLE: There’s a love story at the core that, in a way, hasn’t been shown. [Portrait] is about art, it’s about taking the space back, it is a new vision. It’s about how equality is exciting and how we can base love on this, much more than on domination. It’s a film about the female gaze. It’s a film about the integrations of love, work and art in both the past and present. Why were you drawn to this film, as actors? ADÈLE: For me, I cannot say that there was one reason. First, I was happy to work with Céline again [as well as dating for a time, Adèle and Céline
worked together on Water Lilies], then, because of the #MeToo movement and the rise of feminism all over the planet... And we needed this level of rising to notice something that is so huge it’s amazing we didn’t notice before – it’s the fact that there is no film with only women, it doesn’t exist. It’s something so big, but we don’t even see it. It’s almost funny how blind we can be. That was one of the reasons I wanted to come onboard. Actually, I would not not have been onboard. NOÉMIE: When I read the script, I felt the power of what was in it, of this love story, but also that it’s something we’ve missed in history: women’s histories, intimacies. This spoke to me and I’m sure it speaks to a lot of people. [I felt] this is something I need to do. But also, it’s about the expedition of acting and finding new shapes. It’s not all about politics, it’s mostly about art. It’s a new sensation and we see that we will have space. It’s new images... the sex scene was in the script and I thought, this is new and exciting. The way it was written... this is a movie where you take the time to get the fire burning. We [had] time to just look at each other and let it grow – the searching and the breathing. We [had] a lot of time and space. And all the details in the movie [are given more space] with this delay and restriction... it’s [about] using your imagination. It’s erotic. To put it very simply, it’s an hour and a half of pure tension followed by something like bittersweet heartbreak. Crucially, though, neither character is killed off.
Maybe it’s not a failure when a love story ends. Maybe it lives within you and changes you forever” ADÈLE: But it’s more than that. It’s not just that nobody dies. Love doesn’t die. I think, the end of the movie isn’t “bad”. It’s a right way to be sad. It’s not like, “Oh, it will never happen again”, it’s like, “Oh, it’s just how love
and art can change you forever”. This way, you can have a new love story after that. It’s not like the earth is burnt. You keep on inventing because you went through such a love story. You’re a better version of yourself. To me, [it’s not] sad in the same way that somebody dies, it’s sad because sometimes emotions can be, [but] you can be joyful at the same time. And, because often lesbian [characters] die in movies, [not having the characters die] is one of the most important elements of the movie – to change that [trope], to change our relationship to our own love story. Maybe it’s not a failure when a love story ends. Maybe it lives within you and changes you forever, because being human means evolution. You mentioned the sex scene, Noémie. While speaking at the British Film Institute earlier, a male journalist suggested to Céline that there “isn’t a sex scene” in the film. What do you say to that? ADÈLE: Use your imagination. It’s so much more erotic when you have a new image of sex, it demands you use your imagination – then you’re a part of the scene. [It’s] like a game that we propose. My answer [to that comment] is that I feel sorry for them. I have the feeling that they think that love is when a man has sex with a woman for five minutes, he ejaculates and then it’s over. We’ve found new shades. Love and imagination are very closely bound. I would prefer this sexuality to the one that is portrayed in most movies, which to me seems a bit pathetic, because it’s boring. Maybe if you see that [the scene in Portrait] is actually poetic, you can change and have a great sexuality afterwards. What has the reception been in France? [Where, at the time of interview, people were protesting against single women and lesbians accessing IVF treatments.] ADÈLE: They are not our friends, obviously. We are not on the same team. I would say, they don’t want us to exist. We didn’t think we were [so] avant-garde, we thought we were more common, but we are very avantgarde because French society is very conservative. They are not coming to >>> see the movie anyway.
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CULTURE | PORTRAIT OF A LADY ON FIRE
Hopefully, some of those people will see it by chance. Perhaps it’ll help to change their views. ADÈLE: There are still people going to see it. I feel so sorry for those people who are so violent to themselves [as to purposefully not]. I’m sure they have a sexuality as well. >>>
In the last scene, a powerful long take sees Marianne observe Héloïse
It’s not about just getting back together. It’s about living with this other person within you”
On writing Portrait Of A Lady On Fire WORDS OF WISE-WOMEN-DOM FROM CÉLINE SCIAMMA’S SCREENWRITERS’ LECTURE FOR BAFTA ON 2 DECEMBER 2019
On the love story... “For Portrait Of A Lady On Fire, I wanted to write the present of a love story, how it is born and how it grows patiently, but I also wanted to tell about the memory of a love story, what is left of a love story.” On women in fiction... “Women have been objectified by fiction and by patriarchal lore throughout history, so giving them back their subject status, their subjectivity, is giving them back their desires... [Portrait] tells about its characters’ desires because they don’t have the freedom to project themselves, so it’s about how their desire will be fulfilled for a moment.” On the characters’ experience... “Even though Portrait can be pitched as an impossible love
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story, it is not written that way. It only tells about the possible love, their experience of it. It’s not about their relationship facing the world and the rules; it’s about the two of them facing each other... Leave the impossibility outside the room, because it will be waiting for them anyway when they get out.” On eroticism... “I wanted to craft a scene that would embody the sexiness of consent... People who [question] the idea of asking for consent in France, they do exist. They are brave fighters for [the] culture of French gallantry, who say that asking for consent would not be sexy, it [would] break the mood... Eroticism to them is about conflict.” On equality...
“[Portrait was written as] a love story based on equality. Breaking this narrative of conflict was made possible by the fact that it is two women meeting, so there is no gender domination, and then I decided there will also be no intellectual domination, even though it’s an artist and a model, and also never to play with social hierarchy... Lack of conflict does not mean lack of tension; lack of conflict doesn’t mean lack of eroticism; lack of conflict actually means new rhythm... new surprises and suspense.” On the ending... “The last scene of the film – a long take on a character listening to Vivaldi’s Summer in a concert hall... I made the film for that scene.”
from afar, why doesn’t Marianne approach her? NOÉMIE: We wanted to portray... a journey. The character would love and that love would change them forever. It’s not about just getting back together. It’s about living with the other person within you. Your life, because you met this woman, changes forever. And you will be a better lover afterwards, a better person. It is a happy ending. It’s just a different [kind of] happy ending. Is that why it’s so affecting, do you think? NOÉMIE: It’s a new vision, a true vision of love. [It’s about] giving faith to the other. Is this new, true vision a queer one? ADÈLE: It’s uniquely queer. We are lucky that we are out of the heterosexual order – at least I think so. But the entire world isn’t in our bedroom, you know? We need new stories to be told. Not being told the same story about love. It’s philosophical and I think it is our responsibility to create new stories for people to base their lives on. Queer stories? ADÈLE: Everyone should be queer right now.
Portrait Of A Lady On Fire is in UK cinemas from 28 February 2020
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Gillian (left) and Caroline in the new season of Last Tango In Halifax
BAFTA award-winning Last Tango In Halifax is back, and oh, has it been a long time coming. Indeed, there was much speculation about whether it would return at all. So how does writer Sally Wainwright feel to finally be tango-ing again? “It feels really good,” the 57-year-old tells me when we talk on the phone the day after a screening of the first episode. “There’s been a fantastic response from the audience. It’s all been very positive and good fun.” The original premise for the show, two widowed pensioners who rekindle an old romance after reconnecting on social media, is based on Sally’s mother, who herself married again at 75. Five seasons in, how closely – if at all – does it resemble real life? “What happened was that my mum got married to Alec Walker. They were both 75. But they were only married for four years before he died, so it’s really taken on a life of its own now, and moved away [from the real story]. It’s not based on the original premise at all. The actors have made it their own and I’m writing for them now completely.” We know what Sally’s been up to in the three-and-a-bit years Last Tango has been off our screens – more on Gentleman Jack in a bit – but what of Alan, Celia, Caroline and the rest? How has she addressed the passage of time in the writing? “It’s been a bit of a blessing, actually, having that gap. It meant I didn’t have to pick up immediately where I left off. The characters have moved on. It’s given me freedom.” Four years on from the tragic (and controversial) death of her wife Kate (on their wedding day, no less), lateblooming lesbian Caroline – played by the marvellous Sarah Lancashire – is no longer seeing ghosts. Today, she’s happy, settled, and has her eye on someone else – a work colleague played by lesbian actor Lu Corfield (Sex Education, Clink). But all is not what it seems. “I wanted to veer away from the obvious,” Sally says, careful not to give too much away. “Trying to find a different angle and a different way of approaching Caroline. One thing she’s never had to do, since we’ve known her, is go out and try
WRITER, PRODUCER AND DIRECTOR SALLY WAINWRIGHT TALKS TO CARRIE LYELL ABOUT LAST TANGO IN HALIFAX, THE SUCCESS OF GENTLEMAN JACK AND HER 20-YEAR LOVE AFFAIR WITH ANNE LISTER
The original main characters return (from left to right): Caroline, Celia, Alan and Gillian
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PHOTOS BBC/LOOKOUT POINT/MATT SQUIRE
A WAINWRIGHT WITH WORDS
CULTURE | SALLY WAINWRIGHT and find someone. She’s always been the recipient of people’s attention, rather than the one who sets out to try and attract someone. When she tries, it’s not as successful as she thinks it might be, so it was exploring that, really.” Many lesbian and bi viewers were angry at the show for killing off Kate, played by Nina Sosanya, and at Sally’s comments in an interview with me at the time that it was a “myth” that lesbians on screen are rarely, if ever, allowed a happy ending. The storyline, in 2015, sparked petitions and protests, with some viewers vowing never to watch the show again. Sally later admitted she’d made a mistake. She’s worked hard to regain the trust of lez/bi viewers and make amends to the community, and it seems we have long since forgiven her, thanks in large part to Gentleman Jack, the hugely successful drama starring Suranne Jones as “regency superwoman” Anne Lister. As well as being a rating’s smash, it’s won critical acclaim and the hearts of millions. Did Sally anticipate just what an extraordinary impact the show would have on viewers? “No,” she says plainly. “No, I didn’t. Because there’s been a drama on about Anne Lister before [The Secret Diaries Of Miss Anne Lister, 2010], and so why didn’t it happen then? That didn’t seem to affect people; they didn’t seem moved by it.” Has it been the writing? The primetime slot? Suranne? What has made the difference, does she think? “The previous one was a 90-minute single drama. It tried to cover a lot of her life, [but] didn’t touch much more than the surface. It didn’t really get to grips with what happened to her when she inherited Shibden Hall. And I don’t think it was written by somebody who was actually, really, in love with Anne Lister.” Sally’s love affair with Anne Lister has endured for more than 20 years and this adaptation – a love letter to the 19th century landowner, in many ways – has made millions of us fall in love with her too. What is it about Anne that she is so drawn to? “She is my all-time hero, Anne Lister. I know she’s complex, but it’s warts and all. I really feel she’s changed my life. She’s energised me. She’s made
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me embrace things. Her life was for living. I’m quite a depressive person, and she just helps me. There have been times in my life when I’ve felt very low and the person I’ve turned to is a dead woman. Because, for her, life was for living. She had such a real passion for life. I know she’s complex. I know there are darker aspects to Anne Lister that we have to embrace, if we love her. But I think that’s why the drama works – that I did embrace those. And even more so in season two. She becomes quite hard to like. But I’m writing from the point of view of someone who will always be on her side, come what may. I hope that makes a really rich drama. And I know Suranne comes at it from exactly the same standpoint, so that
The characters have moved on. It’s given me freedom” again will make for a really compelling performance.” Sally’s adoration for Anne is obvious – she’s clearly very proud of Last Tango, Happy Valley et al, but she’s at her most enthusiastic talking about Gentleman Jack, despite the fact it’s “the hardest” thing she’s ever written. “We have to transcribe the diaries, read the diaries, absorb it, and then turn it into drama. It doesn’t naturally turn itself into drama, because of the nature of a di-
Lu Corfield as Caroline’s new love interest
ary. She was just recording her life, things to remember, on a practical level – often what she’d agreed with people about coal and all sorts. It’s not written in a narrative form, so I have to find a narrative within that and then write the story. It’s quite a time-consuming process and it’s very demanding. With Last Tango, Happy Valley and so forth, I can just make it all up. It’s actually a lot easier!” she laughs. “Gentleman Jack is an absolute labour of love. It’s tough. It requires a lot of energy and effort... I get up at five o’clock every day so I can absolutely optimise when my brain is at its most awake.” Sally has said that the first season left her “shattered” and “drained”, both emotionally and physically. “Yeah, it’s been a really intense year, but a rewarding one. I did feel drained, but in a really happy way, having achieved something that you’ve been trying to do for 20 years. It’s been incredibly exciting and rewarding, but it’s been hard work, too.” Fans eager to see what happens next have a while to wait yet, though. “We’re only going to start filming it in June and it’s not going to be on screens until 2021,” Sally says. Can’t wait that long? There are always the diaries themselves. “There are so many spoilers out there!” she laughs. “We are trying to stick as authentically as we can to the journals. So you can anticipate what comes next.” And after that? “Happy Valley [season] three is very high on the agenda next, and I’ve got a couple of other projects vying for attention.” What of Last Tango? Anne Reid, who plays Celia, said in 2015 that four series “will be enough” and the cast are increasingly busy with other projects. Is this the last Last Tango, as it were? “Last night, Derek [Jacobi, who plays Alan] said to me, ‘Oh gosh, we’ve got to do this again, haven’t we? We must do this again’,” Sally chuckles. “They were all so full of beans. There’s definitely the appetite to do more. It’s just finding the time. Those four actors are in big demand. Me as well. But I hope I would always come back to it. It’s been such a positive experience, this fifth series. I think it’s been the best, so far.”
Last Tango In Halifax returns to BBC One on Sunday 23 February. All previous series are available on BBC iPlayer now 37
CARRIE LYELL SNEAKS A PEEK AT THIS YEAR’S BFI FLARE PROGRAMME This March, BFI Flare: London LGBTIQ+ Film Festival returns to the capital’s Southbank for 12 days of films and frolics. Ahead of the 34th edition of this hotlyanticipated (and quite frankly unmissable) cinematic feast, we caught up with festival programmer and former DIVA screen editor Emma Smart to find out the must-see movies for girls
who like girls. “We have a varied programme of films this year that encompass the whole gamut of the female queer experience,” Emma tells us. “Whether that’s coming out to your family or falling in love with a woman for the first time. There are films that will make you laugh and we’ve got some that will make
you cry, so be ready to get a little emosh.” Emma adds: “There’s a lot of debut work in this year’s festival, which is always an exciting discovery as a programmer, and the array of talent on display is as awe-inspiring as always. It’s exciting to see these new voices and wonder where they might go next because, I tell you, these first
CLEMENTINE DIRECTED BY LARA GALLAGHER A heartbroken woman becomes entangled with a younger girl after breaking into her ex’s lake house in the Pacific Northwest. Equal parts psychological drama and sexual coming-of-age story, Clementine is a tense rumination on who to love and how to let go.
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features really are something.” She’s not wrong. Whether you’re a Flare virgin or veteran, it looks like you’re in for a treat this year. So what are you waiting for? Bring your eyeballs and the popcorn and lez go.
BFI Flare 2020 takes place 18-29 March. Tickets are on sale from 27 February at whatson.bfi.org.uk/flare/Online
CULTURE | BFI FLARE
MY FIONA DIRECTED BY KELLY WALKER Following the suicide of her best friend, Jane finds purpose in helping her friend’s wife with their child. In doing so, she becomes inadvertently drawn into an intimate relationship bound by grief that’s potentially catastrophic to the healing for all those involved.
JUSTINE DIRECTED BY JAMIE PATTERSON Justine is a love story set against the backdrop of Brighton and tracked by a violent and puzzling tale of a young woman’s descent into self-destruction. She meets Rachel and love takes over. At first it heals, but Justine’s pain goes deep, and soon a new battle commences, more urgent and angry than anything she has ever before experienced.
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QUEERING THE SCRIPT DIRECTED BY GABRIELLE ZILKHA Gabrielle Zilkha’s latest film gathers a dynamite roster of fans, creators and actors for an incisive discussion of the sometimes inspiring, yet often troubled history of queer female representation on television. Galvanised by the upsetting trend of stereotyping, neglecting or outright killing-off of TV’s beloved queer characters, Zilkha’s subjects beautifully articulate their frustrations and their ideas for better, more accurate, more inclusive visibility. Featuring interviews with Ilene Chaiken (The L Word, Empire, The Handmaid’s Tale), Angelica Ross (POSE, Her Story), Stephanie Beatriz (Brooklyn Nine-Nine), and more.
ELLIE & ABBIE (& ELLIE’S DEAD AUNT) An Australian feature film based on the play by the same name, Ellie & Abbie (& Ellie’s Dead Aunt) tells the story of Ellie, a 17-yearold girl who has fallen for her classmate, Abbie. All Ellie wants is to ask Abbie to the school formal, however teenage awkwardness and angst are getting in the way. Luckily her deceased Aunt, Amber, has come back from the dead in the form of a fairy godmother to help navigate Ellie through her first romance.
40 MARCH 2020
PHOTO RHIANNON HOPLEY
DIRECTED BY MONICA ZANETTI
CULTURE | BFI FLARE
Aged 16-25? Enjoy £3 tickets to BFI Flare screenings and events (T&Cs apply)
MAKE UP DIRECTED BY CLAIRE OAKLEY When Ruth moves in with her boyfriend on a remote holiday park, tensions rise as she makes an unsettling discovery that lures her into a spiral of obsession. This debut feature from acclaimed short filmmaker Claire Oakley is a riveting psycho-sexual drama in which nothing is quite what it seems. Fresh, original and not to be missed.
EVENT
Lesbian Cinema: From Subtext to Visibility Onscreen we were hidden and coded beings, buried beneath layers of the dominant narrative, a subtext that only queer audiences could see and rejoice in. Now, though, we have moved out of the shadows and our lives and desires are taking centre stage at last. But how did we get here? What are the key lesbian cinematic moments along the way? Hosted by programmer Emma Smart and Dr Clara BradburyRance (author of Lesbian Cinema After Queer Theory), a panel of experts explore the myriad ways queer women have been reflected on the screen in this thought-provoking discussion event.
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CULTURE | MUSIC BY LAURA HOWARD
MUSIC
Pick of the month
SINGLE
EZRA FURMAN Every Feeling
SINGLE
HALSEY You Should Be Sad
In the sexy video for her latest single, You Should Be Sad, New Jersey-born singer-songwriter Halsey (real name Ashley Nicolette Frangipane) has given her toxic ex the boot and she’s line dancing her way into new beginnings! With nods to Christina, Shania and Lady Gaga, there’s plenty to love about this country-pop bop – notably her ability to make naked horse riding look effortless. Halsey continues to flex her artistic abilities across multiple genres on her latest album, Manic, a highlight of which is her collaboration with one of her early musical influences, Alanis Morissette.
In January, Ezra Furman announced the release of agonisingly gorgeous new single Every Feeling. Written for the hit Netflix series Sex Education, Furman channels some major teenage angst, tackling feelings of uncertainty and exhaustion. Heavy guitar strumming compliments the artist’s punksoul vocal and although the forecast may be gloomy, the angelic backing chorus is optimistic for a time when “only love and happiness will remain”.
SINGLE
KIM PETRAS Icy
ALBUM
THE JAPANESE HOUSE
ALBUM
BRITTANY HOWARD Jaime
LAURA HOWARD is a friendly northern muso, aspiring radio DJ and self-proclaimed pun wizard. @howardoyoudo
42 MARCH 2020
Though we may have entered into a new decade since the release of Jaime, the outstanding debut solo album from Brittany Howard, we can’t seem to get enough of her soulful, raspy tones here at DIVA. Guaranteed to be wonderful, it would be foolish not to grab tickets to one of her UK live shows in March.
The euphoric highs, the burden of indecision and the gruelling lows; Amber Bain – aka The Japanese House – diaries the rise and fall of love in her debut album, Good At Falling. Over the past four years, she’s refined her signature sound, pairing distorted velvet-like vocals with swoony synths – an indiepop backdrop to her beautiful, crushingly honest lyrics. The release of her latest single, Chewing Cotton Wool, is no exception and could spell the release of another EP very soon.
After making some big moves on Era 1 hit Heart To Break, Kim Petras is feeling the emotional toll in her new single, Icy. Refusing to accept any setbacks, Petras turned 2019 into her best year yet – touring as supporting act with Troye Sivan while putting the finishing touches to her debut studio album, Clarity – proving herself more determined than ever. There’s no denying that Kim’s the “bitch with the sauce” and we wish her all the best for her UK headline tour – Woo-ah!
PHOTO INSTAGRAM
Good At Falling
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BOOKS
CULTURE | BOOKS Book of the Month
COMICS
GENDER: A GRAPHIC GUIDE Meg-John Barker, Jules Scheele
NON-FICTION
REBENT SINNER Ivan Coyote
In Rebent Sinner, Canadian storyteller Ivan Coyote leaves behind their usual autobiographical short story style for a mix of notes and fragments that feel more like an invitation to catch up with them over a cup of coffee or a glass of good bourbon (any will do). This collection, in particular, highlights moments of moving through the world as a masculine-presenting non-binary person; as always, it is the times when their family in the Yukon sees them for who they are that really pull at the heartstrings the most. In all places, Coyote delivers with their signature combination of charm, humility and strong rural queerness that means we just fell in love with them all over again.
Following up on the brilliant Queer: A Graphic History, author Meg-John Barker and illustrator Jules Scheele return with a thoughtful comic on gender and all its related trials and tribulations. Gender: A Graphic Guide ranges from gender’s complex history to questions of the future of gender. One chapter addresses masculinities (including toxic, tender and butch) and another examines femininities and feminisms (four waves and counting). Non-binary understandings of gender are explored as “in between and both”, “neither and beyond”, “fluid” and “plural”, while the duo also take on the relationship between transgender and cisgender. Throughout, this is a pertinent and readable guide for life, the classroom or that person who just doesn’t get it, yet. Icon Books, £13.99 FICTION
LOVE AND OTHER THOUGHT EXPERIMENTS
Arsenal Pulp Press, £15.95
Emerging Voices: Ocean Riley Each issue we invite a queer guest reviewer to share their book of the month. This time it’s Ocean Riley, a queer youth worker, photographer and avid reader. They tweet at @oceansofnovels FICTION
GIRLS OF STORM AND SHADOW Natasha Ngan
ERICA GILLINGHAM is a queer poet, writer, and bookseller with a PhD in lesbian love stories and kissing. @ericareadsqueer 44 MARCH 2020
Following girlfriends Lei and Wren’s escape from the Hidden Palace, Girls Of Storm And Shadow is the heart-wrenching sequel to Natasha Ngan’s Girls Of Paper And Fire, weaving a tale full of love and loss. In this story, Lei and Wren join a band of outcasts, fighting to protect each other at any cost, and the darkness of the magic in Ngan’s fantasy world means that even the powers required to save ultimately cause harm to those who wield it. Through the battles, the women grow in strength while also coping with trauma and grief. Ngan is a compelling storyteller whose characters rebel against oppressive authorities and demonstrate the power of loyalty. Hodder & Stoughton, £16.99
Sophie Ward
Rachel and Eliza are inching closer to starting the process of having a baby when Rachel feels a tiny ant crawl into her eye. Eliza’s subsequent decision of whether to believe her partner changes the course of their lives in unintended and unforeseen ways. Told through a series of shifting viewpoints introduced by philosophical tests (trust us, it works), Love And Other Thought Experiments by Sophie Ward exchanges its seemingly simple opening story for a tale that slowly and tantalisingly unfolds before the reader. A refreshing puzzle to unpick from a debut author, Ward’s novel breaks new ground in wonderfully captivating ways. A must-read this spring. Corsair, £14.99
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46 MARCH 2020
her flash of blonde hair and baggy black hoodie. In the show, she describes her appearance as “a kernel of corn that somebody glued on to some sticks”. Next to her is Charlotte Ritchie of Fresh Meat fame. She plays Mae’s onscreen girlfriend, George, an English teacher who’s never dated a woman before and looks like “a dangerous Mary Poppins” to Mae’s “Bart Simpson”. This really is quite the cast. And Friends superstar Lisa Kudrow, who plays Mae’s mum Linda, isn’t even in this scene. Mae and her screenwriting partner Joe Hampson created the role with her in mind, never in their wildest dreams imagining she’d deign to read the script. But read it she did, describing it as “sweet and very funny and awkward and well observed”. High praise from a comedy legend. I can’t resist asking Mae what the woman who gave the world Phoebe Buffay is like in person? “So chill, so kind and intelligent and thoughtful about the part. She’s so low-key, you forget how immensely famous she is.” There are even more crew members here than actors. They scurry around industriously, rigging this and
lighting that as I try desperately not to get in their way or step on anything expensive. Someone efficient hands me a colossal pair of headphones and I’m ushered behind a thick black curtain to sit with the script supervisor and watch through the monitor. “We’ll shoot from the top,” announces Canadian director Ally Pankiw. The chatter and clatter comes to an abrupt stop. “Action!” Born in Toronto, but now living in London, Mae did her first stand-up gig when she just 13, before dropping out of school at 15 to pursue comedy full time. This September marks 20 years in the biz. During that time, she’s witnessed huge changes. “When I started, I was often going up after people who’d made homophobic jokes and the audience had loved it. Public opinion has shifted, so it’s not cool to be a bully anymore. Comedy is better now than it ever has been.” With a string of acclaimed stand-up hours under her belt, a BBC Radio 4 series, non-fiction book Can Everyone Please Calm Down? A Guide To 21st Century Sexuality and now her very own sitcom, Mae is killing it. With a
PHOTOS MATT SQUIRE
I
’m at a Narcotics Anonymous meeting, surrounded by famous people. In the centre of the innocuous community hall, wooden chairs are arranged in a group therapy circle. Sitting on those seats are stars of shows like Call The Midwife, Humans and Flowers, and films like Four Weddings. “Welcome to our first friends and family meeting.” Ok, time to come clean, as it were. I’m not here as an undercover reporter investigating celebrity rehab programmes, neither am I related to an A-lister with a dependence on Class As. I’m on the set of stand-up comedian Mae Martin’s loosely autobiographical new sitcom for Netflix and Channel 4. The title? Feel Good. The premise? Mae navigates her blossoming same-sex relationship, a burgeoning standup career and a secret addiction to cocaine, all with hilarious consequences. I spot Mae as soon as I arrive, with
CULTURE | MAE MARTIN nuanced exploration of identity and fluidity, her delightfully idiosyncratic brand of humour seems to plug directly into the zeitgeist. After grabbing a quick bite on the catering bus, I head to Mae’s trailer, where we’re joined by Charlotte and Joe. They all go way back. Joe and Charlotte met at Bristol uni, studying drama and English and performing in a sketch troupe called the Bristol Revunions. Mae and Joe’s paths crossed two years later, when they shared a house for a month at the Edinburgh Fringe. Mae recalls, “We had an identical haircut and we hit it off right away. On the day I met Joe, I tried to get a tattoo of his name. I thought I’d know him forever.” Joe jumps in, “No. She made a joke, ‘I’m gonna get a tattoo of this guy’s name’, because she assumed she’d never see me again!” Whatever her intention, she never did get that tattoo. “I’m still thinking about it. Maybe Joe’s face on my face!” These two bezzies write during the week and hang out most weekends. “I spend more time with Joe than with any other human. It’s a very rare friendship. We have the same internal palette. We find the same things funny, the same things romantic.” I ask Joe what it’s like working so closely with Mae. “It’s awful!” he quips, before giving his truthful answer. “I mean, it’s a dream. Hanging out with your best friend and coming up with a TV show – what could be better than that?” In the writing room, they read scripts aloud with Joe playing everyone except Mae. They show me a video of Joe in full drag giving his best George. There’s no denying it’s an impressive performance, but in the end they decided to stick with Charlotte. The talented TV veteran was a fan of the script from the start. “The main thing about George is that when you meet her she’s quite closed off romantically, intimately. When she meets Mae, something completely sets a light for her that she hasn’t felt maybe ever. Mae changes her perspective on everything, but it’s quite a battle for her to do that.” Mae nods in agreement, “I like that a lot of their issues are internalised. My character struggles with internalised homophobia, which is so ubiquitous, isn’t it? Even though intellectually people
are very progressive, internally they do carry some shame. They’re very shame-based characters. Everyone is though, right?” Mae is acutely aware of the impact representation can have. “I still so rarely see anyone who looks like me on a TV series. I remember how important things were to me when I was a teenager – like Buffy. I even related to that and I’m not a witch.” But, while Mae and George are in a same-sex relationship, Feel Good is about much more than just sexuality. “It’s about three-dimensional characters, where that doesn’t define them. There’s sex, which I hope feels weird and representative of being told through a queer gaze. I hope it doesn’t feel pandering. It’s fit and funny... I hope!” As Mae and Charlotte have known each other for so long, does that make it easier or harder to play lovers? Charlotte reckons, “It really varies. There are bits where there’s a real shortcut. But there’s a freedom about not having met someone before, because you don’t know what they’re like. For me, personally, it’s amazing to know Mae as a friend. It adds another level to it.” In the sitcom, Mae plays a fictionalised version of herself, taking aspects of her personality and “dialling them up to a hundred”. “It’s like shining a magnifying glass on the deepest corners. We tried to narrativise feelings rather than specific events. It’s a lot of where I was at 10 years ago. I’ve definitely been in multiple relationships, as many queer people have, with people who are at a different point of self-acceptance. That’s an interesting, torturous and romantic dynamic. It’s kind of intoxicating.” The addiction storyline is also informed by her own experiences. Mae started taking cocaine as a young comic at the age of 14. By 18, she was in rehab. “It got pretty dark, but it’s been at least a decade of feeling solid now. It’s just something I have to be vigilant about.” She admits that revisiting that troubled period was “pretty grim”. Gender identity is another challenging topic explored in >>> Feel Good. “Now that we
They’re very shame-based characters. Everyone is though, right?”
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have more language around it and this younger generation is changing the way we think about it, it’s something I think about more. It’s definitely something that has caused me anxiety in the past. I feel different on any given day, but I feel somewhere in the middle of that spectrum, I guess. If I was growing up now, I might say I was non-binary. I’m just taking it day by day.” Several months later, I see Mae again at the Feel Good production company’s office. We’re in the room where she and Joe work, where they brainstorm, riff and play “weird games” to come up with potential story ideas. An enormous whiteboard is overloaded with neon Post-its, yellow for Mae, pink for George. The first season is now in the can, and I confess to Mae that I binged the lot the night before. She looks relieved, “Oh, good. It’s meant to be binged,” before adding slightly nervously, “What did you think?” There’s something about Mae that makes you want to give her a reassuring cuddle. She realises she has this effect on people. “I love hugs, but I’m not as vulnerable as I might appear in my comedy. It takes a level of confidence to do this, right?” She’s keen to hear my reaction to Feel Good, so I tell her I loved the rawness and romance of it all. There’s an adorable montage in the first episode, with Mae and George being all cute and couply, but in a totally non-nauseating way: snogging on the windowsill, watching films on a laptop in bed, mucking around being silly together. “I love a good montage,” grins Mae. “I wish my life was just a musical montage.” One of my other >>>
Left: Charlotte Ritchie as Mae’s GF, George. Here: Adrian Lukis and Lisa Kudrow as Mae’s parents 48 MARCH 2020
favourite things about the show is the casual comedy they mine from the frisky central relationship. In an early scene they’re out clothes shopping. Mae is waxing lyrical about the transcendental nature of marriage when George interrupts her, “Do you want to finger me in the changing rooms?” It’s marvellously unexpected and a real treat to see queer sex being discussed in such a frank, funny way. “Often queer sex is portrayed as very tender, but actually girls fuck. They bone, you know, and they’re horny. Often I feel like I haven’t seen my sex life represented really.” In another scene, Mae grapples with her gender identity, scrutinising her reflection in her bedroom mirror. She tries on a dress, before quickly ripping it off and donning a strap-on instead. “I found it way more exposing wearing a dress. This character doesn’t feel comfortable in who she is, so I found it important to show that. I felt really embarrassed, so it was kind of a relief to take it off and be topless. I’m naked all the time, so I didn’t mind that so much.” In this scene alone, Feel Good deftly flips back and forth between comedy and drama, with wicked one-liners, emotional angst, gender dysphoria and an authentic depiction of queer sex unlike anything I’ve seen on TV before. “Part of what’s great about queer sex is that it can be multifaceted and you can play with gender roles and power dynamics in an interesting way. That’s always been part of my sex life.” I suggest the show might be a good personal ad for Mae. “Or will it? It might be the opposite. My character is a manic, absolute trainwreck!” In conversation, as in her comedy, she comes across as charmingly goofy and almost compulsively honest.
CULTURE | MAE MARTIN
Here and below: Mae Martin and Charlotte Ritchie
When I ask how she feels about her growing fame, she reveals that when fans request photos, she gets so into it, chatting away and taking multiple selfies, they frequently start glancing at their watches and making excuses to leave. “I overstay my welcome. I need to chill a bit. But it’s so nice. People are so nice.” The power of visibility has been on Mae’s mind a lot lately. Upset by headlines about the homophobic attack on 20-year-old Charlie Graham, she tracked down her number through her PR and called her up. “She just kept saying how shocked she was by the supportive response, that she felt so isolated and that she had no idea how many people like her there were in the world. It made me think about representation and how important it is to have your experiences reflected. Because she’s so not alone. There is this massive community.” Mae is keen to provide a dose of much-needed representation through Feel Good. But, after pouring so much of herself into this project, I wonder how she’s feeling about finally putting it out into the world? “I feel like I’m in the queue for a self-esteem firing squad! It’s a very public forum to explore some of these things. It is
Often queer sex is portrayed as very tender, but actually girls fuck” really personal, but I’m really excited. I’m gonna try not to read reviews... Maybe.” I’m sure the write-ups will be glowing and, perhaps more importantly, that this is a show that will resonate with viewers. In addition to being hilarious and heartfelt, Feel Good offers a distinctly queer
perspective that’s still scarcely found on TV. “Everybody is carrying around stuff, right? Pain or things they find funny. And when you don’t see that reflected, it can be isolating. So it was a relief to be like, ‘Ah, those are the things in my brain and someone will see them and that’s cathartic in a way’. But it wasn’t just a cathartic exercise. It wasn’t therapy. I just wanted to tell a really engaging story with really funny characters. It’s a great by-product if people connect with it.”
Feel Good is coming to Channel 4 in the UK and Netflix in the US this March 49
CULTURE | SCREEN BY KAT HALSTEAD
SCREEN
Pick of the Month
HITMEN Created by Joe Markham and Joe Parham
Directed by Céline Sciamma News
TV
Film
DVD
Stream
This Cannes festival darling is a lesson in intimacy and the way in which it’s experienced and captured through art – both in painting and, in the wider sense, through film. In 18th century France, artist Marianne (Noémie Merlant) is tasked with creating a wedding portrait of Héloïse (Adèle Haenel), who has recently left a convent to take the place of her deceased sister in an arranged marriage. None too happy about it, she’s already driven off one artist, meaning Marianne must paint in secret while masquerading as her companion. Still and intense, the film is all about looking, understanding and knowing, allowing us to study the relationship as the two women study each other. It’s the female gaze at its most powerful, from the women on screen to those behind the camera (writer/director Céline Sciamma and cinematographer Claire Mathon), the love story playing out within an era where the realities of female life take place behind closed doors, yet the constraints of the patriarchy and religious moralism forever loom beyond. In cinemas 28 February
THE CATEGORY IS… MEXICO CITY Created by Ocean Vashti Jude and Lauren E Zubia Calsada
KAT HALSTEAD is a writer and movie buff with a penchant for female-led flicks. @kathalstead 50 MARCH 2020
Fans of POSE and Paris Is Burning will be familiar with the Ballroom culture of 80s New York, but the story doesn’t end there. This original docuseries explores how voguing and Ballroom culture are evolving and shaping queer spaces today, starting with Mexico City and the House of Mamis – a “utopic bubble” where the scene has only recently caught fire. Streaming on Revry now
Showing on Sky One this March
TRANSACTION Created by Jordan Gray
DIVA fave Jordan Gray writes and stars in this new sitcom about transgender narcissist Liv and her friend Tom working the night shift in a supermarket. The five short episodes tackle everything from taking on transphobic dogs to “personcotting” gender-neutral toilets with a sharp script and sketch-like pace perfect for binging. Streaming on Comedy Central UK now
PHOTOS COLIN HUTTON/SKY UK, COMEDY CENTRAL UK, REVRY, PETER TAYLOR/NETFLIX, HBO, JILL GREENBERG/NETFLIX, MURRAY CLOSE/NETFLIX, THE CW
PORTRAIT OF A LADY ON FIRE
We might have been in a pitta despair (sorry) since Mel and Sue left Bake Off, but the duo are back in a brand new six-part original comedy series! And this time they really are partners in crime, swapping their buns for guns as two best friends, Fran (Sue Perkins) and Jamie (Mel Giedroyc), trying to make their way in the world of contract killing. Travelling around the country in a dilapidated van on the hunt for their next hit, their aims may not always be sharp, but their one-liners sure are.
CULTURE | SCREEN I AM NOT OK WITH THIS Created by Jonathan Entwistle and Christy Hall
of the best...
Trans TV characters
Jules Vaughn Euphoria Trans model Hunter Schafer’s first acting role sees her play a trans teen who relocates from the city to life in a suburban high school, where she meets BFF-turned-GF Rue (played by Zendaya).
“Dear Diary... Go fuck yourself” – so begins the sardonic drawl that leads us through this smart, funny adaptation of Charles Forsman’s queer comingof-age comic. Sophia Lillis – the breakout star from the recent I.T. movies – is perfectly cast as Sydney, an awkward teen with a propensity for dark thoughts, a painfully unrequited crush on her BF Dina and, of course, budding superpowers. Her diary and a jar of peanut butter are the only things making adolescence bearable as she struggles with her father’s suicide, her sexuality and her increasing misanthropy. Her budding telekinesis becomes the outlet for her confusion, pain and anger – tragedy always lurking in the shadows as self-awareness becomes inevitably fused with self-destruction. Directed by Jonathan Entwistle (The End Of The F***ing World) this is a stylish dramedy rich with dark humour and indie flair.
Blanca Rodriguez-Evangelista POSE Mj Rodriguez plays Blanca, the warm, protective Mother of the House of Evangelista in the series that made history with the largest cast of transgender actors starring as regulars in a scripted show.
Streaming on Netflix from 26 February
FORTUNE FEIMSTER: SWEET & SALTY Directed by Krysia Plonka
Sophia Burset OITNB The first openly trans actor to be nominated for a Primetime Emmy, Laverne Cox plays the only transgender woman at Litchfield Penitentiary, where she’s doing time for credit card fraud to pay for reassignment surgery.
Nomi Sense8 In a show created by transgender filmmakers Lana and Lilly Wachowski, Jamie Clayton (The L Word: Generation Q) plays Nomi, a trans hacktivist and political blogger who lives with her wife Amanita.
Fortune Feimster’s first ever Netflix Special is her most autobiographical stand-up set to date. Warm, friendly and self-deprecating without veering into self-hatred, the one-hour special follows her life through her southern upbringing – from her battle between church and Chili’s, her fleeting swim team experience and her first coming out (as a debutante) to her real coming out to her mother, a bizarre induction into the world of breasts via Hooters and her now happy life with fiancée Jax. One of the most likeable comedians around, Fortune has been working the clubs for years and more recently popped up onscreen on The Mindy Project and The L Word: Generation Q. Oh, and if you don’t follow her on the socials, make it happen – it’s worth it for the ice-cream dance alone.
Nia Nal Supergirl The first transgender superhero on TV, Nicole Maines plays Nia, a reporter by day and Dreamer by night (though also by day), who uses her powers of precognition and astral projection to help Supergirl.
Streaming on Netflix now
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This is The End WRITER SAMANTHA STRAUSS TALKS TO DIVA ABOUT DYING WITH DIGNITY, LIVING WITH NONE, AND MAKING EVERY DAY COUNT WORDS DANIELLE MUSTARDE
PHOTOS SKY ATLANTIC
Clockwise from top: Pamela and Edie relax; Oberon and Jasper get each other through the school day; Pamela and Edie enjoy some retail therapy; Kate, Oberon and Persephone (Ingrid Torelli) await Edie’s arrival; Oberon finds himself lost in thought
52 MARCH 2020
CULTURE | THE END As the global population continues to age, conversations about end-of-life care and assisted dying weave in and out of the mainstream consciousness. It’s those very conversations that make up the central ethical conundrum of Sky Atlantic’s brilliant new dramedy, The End. Starring Dame Harriet Walter (Sense And Sensibility, Atonement) and Frances O’Connor (Mansfield Park, Mr Selfridge), this deeply moving, wildly funny series follows three generations of a family with “separate but intersecting obsessions”. There’s Edie, a suicidal grandmother finding her feet in Australia after her daughter, Kate, flies her out from England to be with her and her teenage children. Then there are Kate’s two teenage children, one of whom, Oberon, is a young trans teen grappling with their own mental health. The brains behind this intergenerational, semi-autobiographical story is Aussie screenwriter Samantha Strauss, best-known for the teen drama series Dance Academy. How did Strauss get from teen dance academy to sun-drenched, Australian retirement village? We caught up with her at a recent screening of The End to find out a little more about life, death and everything in between... Let’s get straight to the heart of The End – assisted dying. At what point did you decide to write it into a television programme? SAMANTHA STRAUSS: I tried to write it as a film and I did it really badly, because I was young. It was the first thing I wrote! I was [in my 20s] writing about an 80-year-old... I needed to go away and try to be a better writer. You did exactly that. The End, as it is today, is semi-autobiographical and based largely on your own grandmother. Did you have a conversation with your family before writing it? Yeah, in fact my dad was the unofficial medical consultant. [He’s a doctor], so I’d have him on speed dial and call him for advice along the way, or even just “practical advice” about how you might put a bag over your head or jump out of... things like that. I mean, they’re used to it, you know? What did they think when they saw the finished product?
More info on Contents page 3
They really loved it. They were a bit surprised... I used some props that I’d stolen from home. We shot it where I grew up, so I lived at home with my parents during filming. I got fed every night, had my washing done... I left my real life. It’s nice to revert to being a teenager again for a moment. Yeah... The worst thing I ever said to my dad was, “Fuck off and die already”, and that’s what Oberon says to his grandma in the show. I feel like there was a little bit of penance in there. How much of your grandmother is in central character Edie, played by the brilliant Dame Harriet Walter? I mean, heaps. But Harriet co-created Edie with me. The retirement village I hung out in [with my grandmother] felt like high school, so the film Mean Girls was a reference [laughs]. Edie to my grandmother feels like [grandson] Oberon feels to me. Both teenagers trying to fit their own skin.
That idea of not being comfortable in your skin is something I really relate to” There are definitely parallels between Oberon and Edie. It’s almost as if, the older you get, the more like a teenager you become. Yeah, I think so. It’s like you don’t have to be an adult, you can just kind of give that up. How old were you when you were visiting your grandmother in her Mean Girls-like retirement village? Between 18, 19, 20? I was in that kind of period just after high school [when you’re] trying to figure out who you’re going to be. How was it, at that age, spending time with older people? I loved it. I felt disconnected from my own peer group and these people had really good stories. They also loved having a young person around to tell those stories to. They’d done things. They had [to deal with] some of the
same bullshit you have to in your own friend group [as a teen]. They were very political too, surprisingly, and they talked frankly about sex and death. I loved that aspect. There’s a moment where Edie, in the pool, says, “I’m a glowworm, watch me glow”. I remember seeing my grandma stumbling back from the restaurant, holding a torch under her neck saying, “I’m a glowworm, watch me glow”. I was like, if you’re 82 and you’ve survived all of these cancers and husbands and you can still feel like a glowworm? That’s pretty inspiring. That’s such a lovely memory. Let’s talk a little more about Oberon. Did writing a trans storyline come naturally to you? I’ve written lots of teenagers and while I was developing the fourth series of Dance Academy, which didn’t happen, I had a trans character in my head and so was spending a bit of time in the community, researching and thinking... That idea of not being comfortable in your skin is something I really relate to and so Oberon always was trans, and attracted to men, from his earliest incarnation. He’s [experienced] depression in the past, and I’m interested in genetic depression and how the trauma that Edie might have suffered from her parents has been passed down. At what point do we stop perpetuating it? Maybe it’s by talking – or microdosing [laughs]. You had a consultant work with you on the trans storyline – was that helpful? It was, yeah. A really wonderful actor called Andrew read all of the scripts and watched all of the cuts and then gave feedback. And Morgan Davies [the trans actor who plays Oberon] himself obviously had a very keen eye for detail. …the youthful details? Oh my god, yeah [laughs]. His generation is amazing; they are just killing it. We could learn from them. I really felt that with Morgan, Sebastian [Thornton-Walker], who plays his friend Jasper, and Zoe [Terakes], who plays Scarlett. They’re these queer kids who are hyper-intelligent and switched on. They’re going to change the world. So, even though Oberon’s struggling, >>> I think he’s going to be fine. He’s
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it feels like we live in a secular country, so how is that possible? Do you think there needs to be a change of philosophy around death, one which moves away from religion? Absolutely. I’ve heard doctors say things like, “Suffering can bring you closer to God” – I don’t want that doctor anywhere near me at the end. It’s terrifying, but that’s the lottery that we’re playing in.
It’s hard being in a retirement village as a gay or lesbian person” >>> going to have a happy life and do really good things.
Later on in the series, we see Edie exploring her sexuality. Is there potential for her relationship with fellow retirement village inhabitant Pamela to develop? My grandmother’s best friend was a woman called Pamela and they were inseparable. They sort of fell in love as friends. I like to imagine a much more sexual, romantic relationship, but that might just be my fan fiction! [Laughs] But, yes, that’s definitely part of it. Also, it’s hard being in a retirement village as a gay or lesbian person – you have to come out again in this weird, heteronormative environment. Yet there are [LGBTQI] women in the retirement village where we filmed. [It must be] hard to hold on to that sense of who you are and the freedom you’ve lived with. It’s an interesting element of the story. Grandma fan fiction! Stay tuned – Edie might just have her first orgasm! [Laughs] I hope so! Now, back to the big topic... death. Has your own philosophy on death and dying evolved through the
54 MARCH 2020
process of making The End? I feel like I know more. But, I don’t know... I think my views were already pretty pro [assisted dying], and they’re pretty pro now, but it’s not something I’ve dealt with right up close. My mum says she wants to be helped to die at some point – but she doesn’t trust me. [Laughs] Even though I’ve made a whole show about it. My heart breaks for people who are in pain and who are degenerating and who are forced to endure... I don’t understand why there’s not a kinder way. But then I also have enormous respect for palliative care and medicine. And, we’re only really talking about small numbers of people who are dying in pain, it’s not everyone. What have you learned while researching palliative care? What I found really interesting, according to the palliative care doctors that I spoke to, is that most people are worried that doctors will knock them off before they’re ready. They have that kind of great anxiety, particularly nonEnglish speakers. Also, when [supporting] polls are so high, 80% consistently in Australia, I think that we should have [assisted dying]. It’s the Catholic church blocking it all the time. I mean,
There do seem to be more people “confronting death” in the west. Things like death cafes, which encourage open and supportive discussions (read more on page 57), are popping up. Is this reframing something you’d like audiences to take away? I really hope so. I’d like them to have that conversation with their loved ones and to think about it themselves. Thinking about how you’re going to live your best life, and how you’ll die – it’s something I probably think about a bit too much. It has its advantages. Another important area you explore in The End is suicide. How did you approach that? That’s a tricky one, right? We didn’t want to glamorise it. I think suicides have to be framed differently to assisted suicides. With Beth’s death, for example, we could have made it more gruesome on screen, but we tried to thread the needle of: this isn’t a happy death. I feel tremendously sad for her. To me, it’s like, don’t try this at home, it’s not the way to do it. But then there are deaths that are kinder and more peaceful along the way. [Importantly] I don’t think any of the deaths we show would encourage anyone to take their own life. Would you say it’s about acknowledging suicide exists, rather than encouraging it? Yeah, absolutely. Both Edie and Oberon have suicide attempts that they survive, and thank god they do. And it’s clear that both characters come to appreciate the fact that they are still living. Absolutely. They do.
The End is available to watch on Sky Atlantic and NOW TV now
visibility wEEk2020
20–26 April 2020
LESBIAN
Recognising, celebrating and suPPorting Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender and QuEEr Women acroSS the UK Brought to you by
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REALTALK 58
Things not to say to... a young trans person Want to be a better ally to the trans community? Here’s how...
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Lesbian Visibility Week Sophie Griffiths looks ahead to a brand new week for the calendar
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Health heroes Eight people to celebrate ahead of LBT Health Week
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Death becomes all of us Anyone who says that there are no more taboos in modern society has given little consideration to the universal and inescapable facts of death and dying. A recent survey quoted by the Marie Curie organisation shows that barely a third of British people ever speak to loved ones about their wishes for their funerals, leaving the bereaved having to face hundreds of unfamiliar decisions at one of the worst times of their lives. I find it particularly ironic, then, that people in the UK are becoming increasingly fascinated by Mexico’s Day of the Dead practices and festivities. An ancient, holy day is being emptied of important lessons it could teach us, only to be used as a retail opportunity at Selfridges. In writing this article, I’ve realised with shock that our society’s dread of ageing is not just driven by companies looking to sell products, but based on our very common and human fear of death. So what can we learn from Day of the Dead? It arises from the Christian faith and is a perfect example of a cultural integration of death in life. It carries with it a powerful acknowledgement of the thin veil between the living and the dead that people from many faiths and cultures feel is the true state of things. In the west, though, we no longer accept death as natural and yet we cannot escape that each of us have and will face the death of loved ones as well as our own death. What happened? “As little as 60 years ago, children died of many causes. It was not unusual,” Kate Hancock, former programme director of Opening Doors London, a charity
MARGUERITE MCLAUGHLIN SEARCHES FOR POSITIVITY IN THE DARKEST OF TIMES
for older LGBTQI people, explains. “Extended families also lived together, so the older generation lived and died at home. The body was kept at home before the funeral, and wise women and midwives helped lay out the dead.” Death is also a particular part of life for the LGBTQI community – many of us have lost loved ones to alcohol and substance abuse, suicide and illness. Yet, despite that, it seems
In the west, though, we no longer accept death as natural”
MARGUERITE MCLAUGHLIN never liked history, but now understands how important it is.
we’re still no better than the general public at talking about it. “During the era of Aids, at its most intense in the 1980s, the LGBTQI community were faced with many people dying young,” Kate says. “The hospice movement pioneered ways for individuals with terminal illnesses to talk about options, realities and the death they wanted, as well as what funeral arrangements they wanted made that honoured their lives. Yet, today, there seems no collective awareness or response to how many young women die of breast cancer each year – each death is seen only as an individual loss.” The good news is that things are changing, with a variety of not-forprofit options for those wanting less traditional religious responses to death, bereavement and funerals
REAL TALK | DEATH AND DYING
WHAT DOES THE POSITIVE DEATH MOVEMENT INVOLVE? BEREAVEMENT COUNSELLING The UK’s leading bereavement charity, Cruse offers free one-to-one support for children, young people and adults suffering from grief. cruse.org.uk DEATH CAFES This movement has held over 10,200 sessions in 69 countries. Participants drink tea, eat cake and talk about death to help people make the most of their
finite lives. Talking about death leads to a wider discussion around aiming to live consciously for a better world. Check out their website to find your nearest cafe, or start your own cafe using their free guide. deathcafe.com COFFIN CLUBS Aiming to tackle the taboo around death, Jane Morgan, founder of the first UK Coffin Club, explains: “We all
developing over the past few years. These developments make up what is now being called the Positive Death Movement and include new charity and social enterprise organisations, individual practitioners with no religious or corporate connections, guidebooks, blogs and podcasts, often exploring the importance of giving full expression to grief or featuring unique DIY methods to help people take back control from what has become a “death industry”. Many people are aware of the vast expense that can be incurred for a generic and frequently alienating funeral, yet it’s still shocking to think that a well-known organisation like Dignity, for example, has shareholders to satisfy. Jane Morgan works as a nonreligious funeral celebrant. She tells DIVA: “This is a progressive bereavement-centred movement, driven by women and addressing appropriate rituals which support the dead person and those left behind. It is joyful in celebrating life and acknowledges loss. It is important that people are supported to experience their full range of emotions – a funeral is just the start of bereavement. “As a lesbian, it is important to me how holistic and emotionally literate-styled ceremonies provide a better, more respectful, service to LG-
need to take control of our own end-of-life plans. Coffin Club is for anyone who wants their death and funeral to be more relevant and personal.” From those who have reached advanced old age and people with terminal illnesses, to those recently bereaved and young people wanting to understand death in life, Coffin Club is a safe space to talk and attendees are varied.
individuals known as “secular celebrants”. Jane Morgan, a celebrant of five years, FUNERAL/MEMORIAL is a passionate advocate SERVICES AND of “positive death”. CEREMONIES “I wholeheartedly As attitudes change, believe in preparation there are increasing numbers of enlightened and choice, to create a ceremony that allows clerics of all faiths the bereaved to really who will support engage with all the individuals to bury or emotions of losing cremate loved ones someone they loved.” in personalised ways, although they may have THE GOOD FUNERAL GUIDE to be carefully sought The UK’s only not-forout. There are also profit independent increasing numbers of Find your nearest one on the website. coffinclub.co.uk
BTQI people at a very vulnerable time. We empower people to have what is best for them. They are supported, and therefore able to be in control and to provide the love. It’s also important for people to understand their rights about things like spreading a loved one’s ashes; there is a lot to consider to get the best results. We frequently work with people planning their own ceremonies before they die.” Faith is an important part of many people’s lives, including those of us in the LGBTQI community. “I’ve had increasingly interesting funerals, working special themes and songs into traditional services consistent
information resource for funeral advice. goodfuneralguide. co.uk THE QUEER FUNERAL GUIDE An excellent, free resource, building upon the essential Good Funeral Guide. Written in 2019 by funeral organiser and trans man Ash Hayhurst, it is very clear and easy to use. goodfuneralguide. co.uk/2019/09/queerfuneral-guide
with the Christian faith,” Reverend Jenny Gaffin of Hayling Island says. “It depends on the priest or rabbi, but things are changing in religious ceremonies, too – as people become more able to specify what they want and need from a funeral service. It’s also becoming more common to plan funerals with terminally ill people.” I’ve been very moved by the range of people facing the facts of death. It seems to release a joyful and realistic energy to live life to the fullest. “It’s good to have a plan,” a recent Coffin Club member told me. “Because it’s going to happen... we just don’t know when!”
Left: Jane Morgan. Top right: Clare Harriott, Louise Winter and Joanna Shears from funeral organisers Poetic Endings. Top left, bottom left and bottom right: Coffin Club
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REAL TALK | THINGS NOT TO SAY
Things NOT to say to... a young trans person
Instead of...
making assumptions Instead of...
WANT TO BE A BETTER ALLY TO THE TRANS COMMUNITY? HERE’S HOW...
talking about my gender identity Ask me...
Sonja Howells, 17, is a student and a service user at Mermaids, a UK-based charity that has supported genderdiverse children, young people and families for the past 25 years. Here, she tells DIVA the things she hates being asked, and the things she wishes people would ask instead.
about my hobbies “I’m more than just a trans person. I’m interested in video games, music, the arts... Ask me questions you would ask any regular person.”
To find out more about Mermaids and the work it does, visit mermaidsuk.org.uk
Ask me...
what pronouns do you use? “A good idea for people to start taking on is, if you’re not sure, just use a genderneutral pronoun like they or them. As far as I’m aware, the vast majority of the trans community are ok with that.”
Instead of...
Instead of...
What ’s your birth name? Ask me...
What’s your preferred name? “A lot of people in the trans community want to avoid their old name as much as possible, but when you’re asked on a daily basis, it’s really hard to do that.”
Instead of...
saying it ’s a phase Ask me...
how I’m feeling I “I’d much rather be asked how nwas feeling, because [transitio s.” ces pro ing] is a really hard
58 MARCH 2020
taking away young people’s agency
Instead of...
Ask me...
how you can help “It’s very hard for people to know who they are without first trying to be who they are. It’s a huge disservice to children who are trying to figure out where they stand in the world, and who they are in it, to say their opinions and their viewpoints aren’t valid, and that they can’t speak their own mind. That’s a hugely dangerous ideology to have, and only damages the global community, because young people grow up thinking they can’t express themselves.”
what ’s in your pants? Ask me...
who do you want to identify as? “I’m pretty sure everyone in the trans community has faced this. It’s very intrusive and very inappropriate.”
REAL TALK | LESBIAN VISIBILITY WEEK
LESBIAN visibility wEEk2020
SOPHIE GRIFFITHS LOOKS AHEAD TO A WEEK OF EVENTS CELEBRATING LESBIANS AND PROMOTING COMMUNITY SOLIDARITY
As the leading magazine for LGBTQI women in Europe, we know how important visibility is. We have been providing a platform for women-loving women for almost 26 years, but often find that, as a community, we’re still misunderstood and misrepresented. Both in the LGBTQI community and wider society, too often we’re left out of the conversation. Enter Lesbian Visibility Week (lesbianvisibilityweek.com), a brand new celebratory week for the LGBTQI calendar taking place 20-26 April 2020, designed to spotlight and celebrate lesbians, as well as promote community solidarity.
LGBT Foundation, Mermaids, UK Black Pride, Diversity Role Models, akt, Pride In London and more, to launch key initiatives and projects aimed at WLW in the UK and beyond. As well as challenging the barriers faced by WLW and celebrating lesbian culture, one of the aims of Lesbian Visibility Week is to show our solidarity with women and nonbinary people in the LGBTQI community. Many of the struggles faced by lesbians are the same as those faced by bi, pan and fluid folks, so it’s important to us that Lesbian Visibility Week is a voice for unity and lifts up ALL women, especially those from marginalised communities.
WHO’S INVOLVED? Launched by DIVA Media Group, Lesbian Visibility Week is headline sponsored by London Women’s Clinic, with support from GSK, myGwork and Tesco. Together, we want to establish Lesbian Visibility Week as a platform to raise awareness, understanding and support for women-loving women (WLW), and we are working with other like-minded organisations including US magazine Tagg and leading charities Stonewall, the
Headline sponsor
WHAT’S IN STORE FOR THE WEEK? We will be launching Lesbian Visibility Week at the Houses of Parliament on 20 April 2020, establishing it as an annual event in the equality calendar. The week will also see the launch of the Lesbian Visibility Week 100. The list is a chance to celebrate our favourite LGBTQI women and nonbinary people in the UK, with sections including work, not-for-profit and
Supporting sponsors
community. You get to decide who makes the list, so get nominating if there’s a certain someone you want to shout about. As DIVA readers, you’ve told us you don’t feel like you can be open about your sexuality at work, and that most networking events make you uncomfortable because they cater mostly for men. Research backs that up – a 2018 survey by Pride In London showed that lesbians are two times less likely to be out in the workplace, compared to their gay male colleagues. That’s why we’re launching the first ever LGBTQI Women At Work event during Lesbian Visibility Week, which will include a series of panels, seminars and workshops. Held in partnership with TSB and Touchstone, the event will also have a digital feed to allow those outside of London to take part, providing a safe and supportive space for LGBTQI women to come together. Love networking? You’ll love this. And that’s not all. This year’s DIVA Awards will also take place at The Grand Connaught Rooms during Lesbian Visibility Week, celebrating the individuals, brands and businesses who have done the most for the LGBTQI community over the past 12 months.
OUR SURVEY SAYS... DIVA Media Group has also launched The DIVA Survey: LGBTQI Women’s Insight 2020. This is the biggest ever piece of research into the lives of WLW, addressing the specific needs of LGBTQI women for the first time, with the results due to be published during Lesbian Visibility Week. We hope that, by reaching out to as many LGBTQI women as possible, we are helping to set the agenda and change the conversation about our community in a positive, meaningful way. Take the survey now at tinyurl.com/DIVAInsight20.
Find out more at lesbianvisibilityweek.com
Our conference partners
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Health inequalities are a harsh reality and something that the majority of LGBTQI women and non-binary folk will face at some point in life. Barriers such as lack of accessible information about our specific health needs, lack of knowledge on the part of practitioners and fear of discrimination have a significant impact on our health. Research into LGBTQI women’s health, as well as the health of LGBTQI communities more generally, highlights the negative impact of discrimination and invisibility in healthcare narratives. That’s why LBT Women’s Health Week is so important. The only national campaign which explicitly focuses on the health needs of LGBTQI women, organiser Harri Weeks says it gives “Invaluable opportunities to engage with communities, practitioners and senior leaders across health, social care and various areas of government, to support them all to take action which will help improve the health and wellbeing of all women in our communities.” According to Emma Meehan of the LGBT Foundation, “Central to LBT Women’s Health Week is visibility of LGBTQI women, and the assertion that our needs and experiences must be considered in all aspects of service design and delivery.” Sarah Humphreys, chair of ELOP, told DIVA: “The health inequalities faced by LGBTQI women, and the existing good practice to address these, are rarely discussed in either the health system or the LGBTQI sector. “LBT Women’s Health Week has, since 2017, been shining a light on these for a week in March, supporting people and organisations at all levels to kickstart work across the rest of the year to reduce health inequalities and improve LGBTQI women’s health and wellbeing.” It’s time we open up the conversation about LGBTQI women’s health, and what better way to do it than by celebrating those who are working towards a better healthcare system for LGBTQI women and the queer community in general? Whether your interest is mental, physical or sexual health, here are eight health and wellbeing heroes you should have on your radar.
#LBTWomensHealth20 takes place 9-13 March online and around the country. LBT Women’s Health Week is organised by The National LGB&T Partnership. Find out more at nationallgbtpartnership.org 60 MARCH 2020
Health heroes AHEAD OF LBT WOMEN’S HEALTH WEEK THIS MARCH, SOPHIE GRIFFITHS PROFILES EIGHT PEOPLE WORKING TO MAKE WOMEN-LOVING WOMEN HAPPIER AND HEALTHIER
told DIVA: “I’ve been very lucky to have experienced the growth of LGBT health research over the past 30 years and contributed to it. We are, at last, getting sufficient information to find out some important health differences between LBT women compared to heterosexual women.”
SOFIE HAGEN PROFESSOR CATHERINE MEADS Catherine works across all areas of healthcare to research and investigate what differentiates LGBTQI women’s health from heterosexual women’s health. Currently a Professor of Health at Anglia Ruskin University, Catherine has been conducting research into LGBTQI health since 1992. Most recently, she developed a document for Public Health England that brought together significant amounts of research on the healthcare experiences and health of UK sexual minority women. This document is now used by anyone advocating for policies to improve LGBTQI women’s health. Catherine is also currently a member of the UK Government Equalities Office LGBT Advisory Panel. Catherine
You might know Sofie Hagen best as a comedian, podcaster, author, fashion designer and activist, but she’s also an amazing advocate for women and nonbinary people’s health through her work. Last year, Sofie released her first book, Happy Fat, and shared how removing fatphobic influences from her daily life helped her to find acceptance in a world obsessed with the perfect image of women’s bodies. It’s a funny and impassioned look at how taking up space in a culture that is desperate to limit you can be
radical and empowering. Recently, Sofie has started to open up more online about her experiences of being diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and came out as non-binary on her podcast Secret Dinosaur Cult. Through positive representation of fatness and calling out negative messages and stigma around body image and mental health, Sofie is inspiring queer people everywhere.
DR KATE NAMBIAR As well as running Clinic-T, a transspecific sexual health clinic, and being a sexual health and HIV doctor in Brighton, Kate Nambiar is a Speciality Doctor in Gender Identity providing endocrinology services at the UK’s largest Gender Identity Clinic. She is committed to improving physical
REAL TALK | LBT HEALTH WEEK and mental health and wellbeing through clinical work and education, including in her work with the British Association for Sexual Health and HIV. Kate is a trans woman who has worked in the NHS since 1999, striving for good healthcare for trans people everywhere. While transitioning in the mid-90s, Kate felt there weren’t any role models that she could relate to, as most stories about trans people in the press were sensationalised and negative. She might not admit to it, but she is certainly a role model for many trans people today. Through Kate’s own fantastic work, the medical community has become more informed and the trans community has been supported. Kate is making history for trans health in the UK.
RUBY STEVENSON If you’re not already following Ruby Stevenson on Instagram, we highly suggest that you do. Ruby is a sexpositive influencer who also works for young people’s charity Brook on a project to address period poverty. Most of her work centres around body positivity and she is half of Body Love Sketch Club, a project using life drawing as a tool for celebrating selflove when it comes to body image. Sexual health is at the heart of sex positivity for LGBTQI folk and Ruby is on a mission to spread the message. If she’s not presenting one of her sold-out talks (titles include Ruby Rare’s Modern Guide To Pleasure and How To Be A Slut), she’s training professionals in how to become more comfortable talking to young people about sex. Find her on Instagram at @rubyrare waving around condom
demonstrators, giving no-nonsense sex advice and being a happy, naked, sex-positive lady!
DR RONX IKHARIA By profession, Ronx is an A&E doctor, but her work in the media is helping even greater numbers of the LGBTQI community. She appears on children’s television show Operation Ouch! and, in doing so, Dr Ronx is providing an aspirational LGBTQI healthcare practitioner figure for young audiences that can’t be found elsewhere. Ronx self-funded her way through medical school after leaving home as a teenager. She worked in retail, did some modelling and danced in music videos during this time, but her desire to train as an A&E doctor never faltered. The motto that Dr Ronx lives by is “you cannot be what you do not see” and that’s why it’s so important that young people see someone like her on TV. She wants people to see her on screen and not only learn aspects of medicine, the human body and biology, but to believe that they too can achieve their dreams.
HARRI WEEKS Harri Weeks is responsible for providing the point of connection between the health system and the LGBTQI sector. Through their work, Harri enables genuine sector and community engagement with a focus on marginalised groups within LGBTQI community and provides insight that influences policy. They started out as a student activist in the mid-2000s, when
international HIV response. Through cliniQ, Michelle has also run the Trans Health Matters conference for the past six years, bringing together communities and practitioners to collaborate in moving policy and practice forward. In 2014, cliniQ won the Nursing Times award for Enhancing Patient Dignity. Through her work, Michelle is setting the agenda for integrated and holistic trans healthcare.
the majority of trans inclusion and liberation work was being carried out though the student movement, working with other health heroes like Dr Ruth Pearce. Their work then, to change the narrative and increase understanding around trans people’s experiences and needs, still has an impact today. Harri is currently leading a piece of work with NHS England to solve problems around data and monitoring for LGBTQI people, and working closely with system leaders to address the issues around access to transitionrelated healthcare.
MICHELLE ROSS Michelle Ross founded and runs cliniQ, the first sexual health and wellbeing clinic by and for transgender people in the UK. She is a BACPaccredited psychotherapist and has been involved with sexual health, HIV and wellbeing for over 30 years with a focus on trans and non-binary health. Michelle is also a member of IRGT: A Global Network of Trans Women advocating for attention to the needs of trans people in the
BARONESS BARKER Baroness Liz Barker joined the Liberal Party in 1979 and has gone on to become one of the loudest voices in the House of Lords when it comes to LGBTQI rights. From 2004 to 2010, Liz was spokesperson on Health for the Liberal Democrats in the House of Lords and she remains a member of the Health and Social Care Team. She is currently the Liberal Democrat LGBTQI spokesperson, and an officer of the All Party Parliamentary Group (APPG) on global LGBTQI rights, as well as co-chair of the APPG for sexual and reproductive health. The Liberal Democrats were the first party to support equal marriage and Liz herself came out during the Second Reading of the Equal Marriage Bill in June 2013. During her career, Liz has played a pivotal role in creating change for LGBTQI healthcare in the UK. She has supported, as ambassador or patron, a wide range of LGBTQI charities, and been proactive in advocating for LGBTQI health, with a particular focus on driving for better sexual health. 61
SEX The dating (trans)action 62
Trans dating Freiya Benson shares her experience of trans sex and dating
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Sexy Bits The hottest toys, tips and temptations this month
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My secret sex diary Robyn reveals why something wrong can feel so right
62 MARCH 2020
I
t’s 6.30pm, and I’m sitting in a pub waiting for my final date to turn up. I say final here because I mean I’m pretty much done with dating and, honestly, if this doesn’t work out I’m considering just calling it quits. There’s a bit of me that hopes my date will turn up, but there’s also a bit of me that just wants to go to bed and watch Netflix. It feels so complicated. As a trans woman, I’ve always felt like I was putting myself out there, and although I’d try and convince myself that it was all fine, most of the time it really wasn’t. Constantly having to out myself was tiring and yet what else could I do? I have to tell people at some point; I want people to know. I’ve worked hard to be proud of my identity but, at the same time, I know that
WHY SOMETIMES SELF-LOVE IS THE FIRST STEP TO FINDING LOVE WORDS FREIYA BENSON
once it’s out there, fewer people will want to date me. Thing is, I don’t even want to date the people that can’t deal with me being trans – why would I ever want to? Except it sort of still matters. It matters because it’s not my fault. It’s nobody’s fault and yet I’m still going to be rejected by people because of it. I’m still going to have people tell me that I’d be perfect if it wasn’t for the fact that I’m trans. I’m still going to have people tell me I’m not worth it because of something I am. That matters. If I did get any dates, I’d have to drink beforehand just to steady my nerves, because what if it went well, and then it led to sex? This filled me with such conflicting emotions. On the one hand it felt like an affirmation that I was attractive and desirable, but on the other, the messy combination
SEX | TRANS DATING
LET’S TALK ABOUT SEX TRANS AND NON-BINARY DIVA READERS SHARE THEIR PERSPECTIVES ON SEX
“I’m a queer trans woman, a kinky stone femme and, in the BDSM sense, a bottom. I prefer to be submissive with a partner. I like being told what to do and I would call myself a brat. My favourite things are kissing, oral and spanking. Receiving mostly, but also giving – it’s an excuse to touch butts. I like the fantasy of punishment, but in real life it’s more like ‘funishment’. My feelings about sex have definitely changed a lot as I’ve come to terms with being trans and transitioning. I’ve done a lot of work around dysphoria and now I’m enjoying exploring who I am and what my sexuality is today.”
“I’m somewhere between non-binary and trans male. I feel sexiest when I’ve just had my hair cut and I’m wearing a sports bra and boxers – I guess, when I feel masculine. I am very much all about her. I like to tease her. I love when she is practically begging me to do something. Sex can be weird, though. I have autism and I’m either all in or I get really freaked out by the closeness. In the past it’s been difficult. I had vaginismus, which I think was brought on by trauma, and I was conflicted about my gender identity. But now, my fiancee is so supportive and sex is much more enjoyable.”
Constantly having to out myself was tiring and yet what else could I do?”
of my transness, poor self-esteem and feelings of not measuring up to other people just made me hate myself. It was not ideal. I’d sleep with people despite this, of course, because in the end, my need to feel wanted, desired and normal overrode everything else. It led to some poor choices on my part, which I’m sure is both no surprise, and also kind of relatable. So much of sleeping with other people is tied into how we feel about ourselves. We’re all looking for something: a connection, a feeling, a sense of letting go or a sense of belonging and acceptance. We are often so starved of it that we’ll regularly settle for anything, even if it’s not working out or is bad for us. It doesn’t help that my sexuality ebbs and flows like a meandering river. Sometimes all I can think about
FREIYA BENSON is a writer and the editor of Trans Love: An Anthology of Transgender and Non-Binary Voices. @scarlettraces
is sleeping with someone; other times I’d be quite happy with just a nice cake. When the desire to have sex and poor mental health align, then bad decisions are nearly always on the horizon. I’ll go out, and drink and dance and smoke, I’ll hook up with exes, go home with randoms, and regret it all in the morning because, although it feels like my need to be wanted and loved is being met, it never really is. Validation from others never really sticks when you don’t have it from yourself. Because that’s the thing here, really. Looking for love, for belonging, for acceptance and validation from others is fine, but it’s never going to really work unless you also care for and love yourself. If I really wanted to sort this out, I needed to start showing myself love. I needed to make myself the person I actually liked. I’m not saying it was easy. It’s a tricky thing to love and care for yourself. We all want to feel like we belong,
“My sex life is pretty awesome. My partner and I check in with each other a lot. We talk about consent, our likes and dislikes. I’m non-binary and how I’m feeling in that moment plays a really big part in how I am in bed. Over time, I’ve learned not to just do things because I think they will make my partner happy. It has to be that both of us are 100% into it and present. I’ve stopped worrying so much what other people think. Being more in the moment and not expecting it to always end in orgasm totally changes how I relate to sex and what it actually means to me.”
that we are loved. But, for some of us, that’s a hard-fought battle. Once you start to care, then things start to change. Love and sex are still fraught with rejection, contradictory feelings and potential pain. It’s just that once we start to love who we are, we get some extra armour to protect that thin skin. Dating, sex, relationships: these things are all hard. As trans people, we will all have different experiences of this, just like everyone else. Sometimes, though, it feels like the issues we bring with us are insurmountable. Sometimes I struggle to understand how my stuff, my being trans, is so difficult for other people to deal with, but then I remember how long it took me to deal with it. This doesn’t make the rejection feel particularly better, but it does give it a degree of context. That’s a start, right? And I remember that we all have these things that others may find complicated, be that because we’re trans, a single parent or introverted, for example. In our own unique ways, we are all complex and diverse, and we’re all in it together. I hear the pub door go behind me, and my date walks in. They scan the room and smile when they see me. They start walking over, my heart skips a little beat because they look amazing, and I think to myself, “Maybe this last date might be the best one yet”.
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TOY
ROCKHER MINI SCISSORING VIBRATOR Public service announcement: despite what you might have heard, scissoring is most definitely a thing. Still not convinced? Allow us to introduce the RockHer, designed by Wet For Her, a female-run company specialising in sex toys for queer women. Now lezbehonest, scissoring au natural can sometimes be struggs, especially when it comes to flexibility and figuring out how different bodies fit together. The beauty of the RockHer is that it makes it so much easier for both partners’ bits to make contact. You can pop the textured bulb inside one of you, stimulating the g-spot, while the flexible ring spreads the labia and exposes the clit. Or insert the ring and get grinding with the vibrating bulb causing a stir between you. Once you’ve mastered the classic scissor – interlocking legs and happily humping away – graduate to cowgirl, reverse cowgirl and whatever else your saucy imagination comes up with. DIVA’s view on the RockHer? It’s tribbin’ awesome. The RockHer is £67.35 from wetforher.com TIP
TRANS SEX ED YouTube sexperts giving amazing advice from a queer, trans POV RILEY J DENNIS Self-described “lesbian icon” Riley posts super cute travel vlogs with her fiancée, video essays on pop culture and informative, inclusive sex ed – yay! Relationships, genitalia and hormones are all covered, along with plenty of sex toy recommendations. Go-to vid: Having Sex As A Trans Lesbian
More info on Contents page 3
Iconic quote: “The great thing about butts is that everyone has one.” ASH HARDELL YouTube star Ash has a plethora of videos about gender, sexuality and queer nookie. Topics include packing, top surgery and how (some) asexuals have sex. They’re so passionate, they’ve even written a book: The ABC’s Of LGBT+. Go-to vid: Trans Sex Ed (Dealing With Dysphoria)
Iconic quote: “Theydies and gentlethems, I give you my new designer nipples.” MELODY MAIA MONET “I talk about everything in my transgender and lesbian life that you would really like to know about, but are afraid to ask,” says YouTuber and “trans woman next door” Melody. Expect candid Q&As and convos about flirting, fingering and orgasms. Go-to vid: I’m Coming Out... Again
Iconic quote: “I, Melody Maia Monet, am not just a transgender woman or a lesbian; I am also asexual.”
EAT YOUR GIRL RIGHT
“The core of giving great cunnilingus is to watch, listen and respond. You’ll want to make rhythm, control it and break it. Tease your lover. Pull your mouth away. Hold still. Then build it back up again. Find out what your partner likes, be it circles, flicks or long cat licks, and take them on their own personal journey. But once your lover is closing in on the big O, you’ll need to be prepared to keep going, hold rhythm and maintain everything you’re doing.” Alex B Porter in her book, The Cunnilinguist: How To Give And Receive Great Oral Sex
LET’S TALK SEX ED Run by sex-positive lesbian sex toy connoisseur, Amanda, this is one Instaccount you’re going to want to follow. Quirky illustrations are accompanied by practical info on everything from strap-ons and sexting to STDs and queefing. @letstalksexed 64 MARCH 2020
WORDS ROXY BORDILLON, PHOTOS INSTAGRAM
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SEX | MY SECRET SEX DIARY
My secret sex diary FROM ILLICIT ENCOUNTERS TO MINDBLOWING SENSATIONS, ROBYN REVEALS WHY SOMETHING WRONG CAN FEEL SO RIGHT AS TOLD TO ROXY BOURDILLON
The best sex I ever had was with someone I had an affair with. I hate to think of that time and, when I do, I don’t really recognise who I was back then. I’m still dealing with all the guilt around being a cheater and hurting someone I loved so much. But, despite that, I can’t deny that the sex was truly amazing. It was intense and prolonged and kinky and incredibly hot. I’d never experienced anything like it before and I haven’t since. But that was quite some time ago. I’m now in a long-term relationship. I love my girlfriend very much, but I basically have no sex life. Over the past while, our life has been very unsettled due to a number of different factors. If I’m honest, I am unhappy that sex is missing from my life and I want that to change. It’s not just me who feels this way. Both of us want to get back to having regular sex again. I really hope we do. My gender identity and sexuality are one and the same to me – I identify as queer. I feel at my sexiest when I have just had a shower, when I’m all clean and I’ve put on a pair of men’s boxers and a tight vest. I would say that I tend to be more dominant in bed, both in the sense of being more of the giver and making sure that I get what I need or want. But I have also been more submissive in the past with the right person. I like to think of myself as versatile. I will adapt to each situation. It all depends on who you’re with and how you two fit together.
“The sex was intense, prolonged, kinky and incredibly hot”
My absolute favourite thing? I love it when someone goes down on me – that really works so much better for me than penetration. I also love to explore my partner with my hands and feel them from the inside. When it comes to what I’m attracted to, the sexiest thing to me is when someone has a beautiful smile and eyes that sparkle. Over the years, I have become more open and accepting of others. I have allowed myself to let go so much more. I don’t question other people’s tastes or identities anymore. It feels free now and not restrictive.
Want to share your secret sex diary? Email roxy@divamag.co.uk
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Like many people, the first time I ever had sex with a woman was pretty awkward. I slept with a friend and, while we both liked women, we weren’t really attracted to each other. It was so long ago now. From what I can remember, it was a really quick experience and I know for sure I didn’t orgasm. We soon realised we were not meant to be together. But, hey – we are still really good friends now!
CELEBRATING INSPIRATIONAL LESBIAN, BISEXUAL, TRANS, INTERSEX AND QUEER PEOPLE IN OUR COMMUNITY
VOTE NOW! Find out more at divaawards.co.uk
PART OF
LESBIAN visibility wEEk
20 – 26 APRIL 2020
Travel editor Joanna Whitehead explores the Windy City
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in Chicago Life’s a br eeze
ESCAPE 68
Life’s a breeze in Chicago
Explore Our top tips to make sure you travel on-trend
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To Russia with love? Ellie Mackin shares her advice on safe travel as a queer trans woman
68 MARCH 2020
Home of house music, skyscrapers and deep-dish pizza, Chicago is a close contender for New York’s crown. Voted the best US city in 2019 for the third consecutive year by readers of US Condé Nast Traveler, it’s the thirdbiggest in the country and home to 77 unique neighbourhoods. Known colloquially as the Windy City – a title that refers to its turbulent political climate of the 1920s, not the weather (although temperatures plummet in
JOANNA WHITEHEAD IS BLOWN AWAY BY THE WINDY CITY
the wintertime) – Chicago is also an inclusive and welcoming destination for queer visitors. Situated on the gargantuan Lake Michigan (which is more like an ocean), this northern capital of the Midwest is a worthy addition to your travel bucket list. Any visitor to the city can’t fail to marvel at its mass of glittering skyscrapers. A veritable high-rise heaven for architecture buffs and novices alike, Chicago is abundant with world-
ESCAPE | CHICAGO famous and diverse design, from contemporary to neo-gothic, modernist to postmodern. I learned more about these imposing towers on a Wendella Architecture Tour (wendellaboats.com). Accompanied by an informative guide, guests cruise through the city’s centre and out into Lake Michigan. As well as taking in Vista Tower – the world’s tallest building designed by a woman, Jeanne Gang – seeing the city from the water offers a truly magical skyline view. Snap the money shot to make your Instagram pals sick with envy. Another way to get a real sense of the city’s scale is to visit Chicago’s Skydeck (theskydeck.com) – located in Willis Tower, an imposing building over half a kilometre high, making it the second-tallest building in the Western hemisphere. Offering jawdropping views over four states, plus phenomenal Lake vistas, a trip to the top is worth the ticket price if you’re partial to a birds-eye view and have a head for heights. Despite its Arctic winters, Chicago also enjoys golden, sandy beaches. Sadly, it was a little too cold to take a dip when I visited, but I was reliably informed that come summertime, the city’s residents migrate to its shoreline for sun, swimming and social times – the southern section of Kathy Osterman Beach in Edgewater is regarded as one of the best spots for LGBTQI folks in the city. An alternative way to enjoy the mighty lake is to hire a bike and cycle along the Chicago Lakefront Trail (LFT). This 18-mile path is reserved for cyclists, skateboarders and runners, with cycle hire options available throughout the city. In a city presided over by its first ever black, lesbian mayor (Lori Lightfoot) you’d hope that queers would be well catered for – and you’d be right. Boystown might be dominated by queer men, but it’s also home to the Legacy Walk (legacyprojectchicago.org/legacy-walk) – a series of bronze memorial plaques commemorating LGBTQI figures and historical events, such as Frida Kahlo, Audre Lorde and the Stonewall riots. While you’re in the area, swing by Out Of The Closet thrift store (outofthecloset.org) – a bargainfilled warehouse that profits the Aids Healthcare Association and offers on-
Clockwise from left: Advertising the city’s LGBTQI community centre, the “best burger and chips” of Joanna’s life, a plane’seye view of the grid-like city, the Women & Children First bookshop, the city by boat
site testing. Feeling hungry? Walk over rainbow crosswalks to reach Drew’s on Halsted (drewsonhalsted.com), a gayowned restaurant that also hosts the occasional cabaret night.
As one might expect in lesboland, the locality is well populated with dogs” To find the women, you have to head north – but, it’s well worth the trip. Andersonville is the epicentre of lesbian life in Chicago and it’s packed with independent boutiques, coffee houses and restaurants. This area on the north side of the city is also known for its Swedish roots and “shop local” ethos, meaning you can indulge in some guilt-free retail therapy.
Some of our favourite shops include Early to Bed (early2bed.com) – a feminist, queer-friendly and sex-positive sex shop – Cowboys and Astronauts (cowboysandastronauts.com) – queer-owned and retailing some stylish attire and exquisite scents for the butch in your life – and Uncharted Books (unchartedbooks.com) – a friendly bookshop with a resident Siberian Husky pooch named Ramona. As one might expect in lesboland, the locality is well populated by dogs, including a beautiful King Charles Spaniel whose delightful owner, Martha Mae, sells art supplies “and beautiful things” at a shop by the same name (marthamae.info). Andersonville is also home to Back Lot Bash (backlotbashchicago.com), an annual festival for queer women that I was sad to miss. Don’t leave without paying a visit to Women & Children First (womenandchildrenfirst.com), an independent feminist bookshop >>> established in 1979 and a land-
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ESCAPE | CHICAGO
Anish Kapoor’s Cloud Gate sculpture at Millennium Park
mark store for queers, feminists and bookworms alike. In autumn 2019, the bookshop was defaced with transphobic stickers following its support for the trans community. W&CF responded by sending a message of love and support to Chicago’s trans supporters and inviting customers and the wider community to come together and chalk the surrounding streets with affirming messages for the trans community. Boom. If you’re looking to get loaded and have a good time, head to Big Chicks (bigchicks.com). This LGBTQI bar and dance spot in Uptown regularly tops the list of the best queer venues in Chicago and was voted the Best Gay >>>
STAY
Big Chicks regularly tops the list of best queer venues in Chicago” and Lesbian Bar in the city by the Chicago Reader in 2019. Big Chicks also used to be home to Formerly Known As (FKA), a queer party for people of “all genders, representations and expressions” – find out more about the latest party by heading to their Fa-
Starting off with 20 lengths in the Kimpton Hotel Palomar Chicago’s stunning 17thfloor pool, complete with skyscraper views, was a pretty magical way to begin each day of my trip. Guest rooms are spacious with giant beds, snacks and floor-to-ceiling windows that are perfect for people-watching and – you guessed it – gaping at even more skyscrapers (it never got old). Located within easy reach of shopping and tourist attractions, and less than five minutes on foot to the Chicago River, this is a great base for exploring everything this awesome city has to offer. Don’t miss the brekkie in the hotel’s Sable Kitchen & Bar – the perfect fuel for the packed day ahead (hotelpalomar-chicago.com).
70 MARCH 2020
cebook page (facebook.com/FKAdance). Back in Boystown, The Closet (theclosetchicago.com) hosts regular dance nights and Monday darts nights – a siren call for queer women if ever there was one. Feeling peckish yet? Located in the heart of Chicago’s business district, the Revival Food Hall (revivalfoodhall.com) provides dining treats for days, from sweet to savoury. Offering the best of the city’s culinary food scene under a single roof, the collective also has some great “happy hour” deals on food and drink. Visitors seeking some solid stars’n’stripes grub should make a beeline for Small Cheval (smallcheval.com); I ate the best burger and chips of my life here. If you prefer your food more MasterChef than Little Chef, visit the excellent Mexican restaurant Tzuco (tzuco.com). Head chef Carlos Gaytán left a small town in Mexico at the age of 20 to move to Chicago, where he worked as a dishwasher. Thirteen years later, he became the first Mexican chef to receive a Michelin star for his cooking in 2013 and 2014. The food is innovative, exciting and utterly delicious. Walk off lunch with a stroll through Millennium Park, home to British-Asian artist Anish Kapoor’s Cloud Gate sculpture. This mega silver-mirrored, bean-like structure is one of the world’s largest permanent outdoor art installations and well worth checking out. Opposite the park sits the Art Institute of Chicago (artic.edu). Rated Chicago’s number one attraction on TripAdvisor, the museum is one of the oldest and largest art museums in the US. Home to the biggest collection of Impressionist paintings outside of Paris, the museum also features works by Georgia O’Keeffe, Andy Warhol, Jackson Pollock and Vincent van Gogh. Get there early – I was lucky enough to be the only person in the room exhibiting Grant Wood’s American Gothic – spine-tingling stuff. Flying out of the city at nightfall, I peered down at the seemingly infinite grids of light that stretched as far as the eye could see. It became patently obvious that I’d barely scratched the surface of this extraordinary city. What I’d seen, I’d loved, however. As for the rest? It’ll just have to wait until my next trip...
ESCAPE | EXPLORE
Regardless of the distance you’re travelling, trying to catch 40 winks can be a challenge with daylight flooding in or artificial light disturbing your slumber. We like the Orihea Contoured Eye Mask, which claims to block out 100% of light. As it’s 3D, it doesn’t touch your eye or eyelashes, making it a great choice for those who want to keep their make-up intact or those who find it hard to relax with material pressed up against their eye socket (understandable tbh). Accompanied by a handy pouch and set of earplugs, the eye mask comes in black, blue or purple. Sweet dreams. £8.99, Amazon, amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B07RGDVVZH
SEE THIS Tree-huggers assemble! Foliage fans searching for their next fix will appreciate a new study revealing the most popular forests from around the world, according to Instagram. The social media site has become increasingly popular in serving up travel inspo and these results from taxi2airport.com only serve to confirm this. At number one is Germany’s Black Forest. This mountainous region is the setting for many of the Brothers Grimm fairytales and the home of the cuckoo clock. In second place is the Amazon Rainforest, while England’s own Sherwood Forest follows in third. Japan’s Arashiyama Bamboo Forest/ Sagano Bamboo, Australia’s Daintree Forest, Malaysia’s Mossy Forest and Brazil’s Atlantic Forest come in at fourth, fifth, sixth and seventh place respectively, while China’s Jiuzhaigou Valley, Sequoia National Forest in the US and Poland’s Białowieża Forest complete the top 10. Time to make like a tree and leaf (#sorrynotsorry).
SAY THIS
EXPLORE
BY JOANNA WHITEHEAD
PACK THIS
STAY HERE Home of the UK’s first ever Trans Pride event in 2013, we’ve chosen a Brighton hotel to mark this special issue of DIVA. Describing itself as “England’s most rock‘n’roll hotel”, Hotel Pelirocco is not for shrinking violets. Established in 2000, this seafront boutique hotel is comprised of 19 rooms decked out in unique and colourful themes, including homages to Dolly Parton, Bettie Page, Leigh Bowery – and Darth Vader. Smut-seekers should opt for the Lovers Lair suite, which comes complete with a mirrored ceiling canopy, pole-dancing area and a plunge tub for two. Double rooms start from £89 incl. breakfast, hotelpelirocco.co.uk
READ THIS
GOT AN IDEA FOR A TRAVEL HACK? SEND US YOUR TIPS TO TRAVEL@ DIVAMAG.CO.UK OR TWEET US @DIVAMAGAZINE
Trans travellers and the TSA Trans travellers flying to and from North America can access useful guidance and advice for navigating Transportation Security Administration (TSA), the security checks all flyers in and out of the US must pass through. Numerous trans and gender nonconforming folk have reported invasive security screenings in their dealings with the TSA, although the National Center For Transgender Equality states that most people are able to proceed without incident. Find out more at their website transequality.org/knowyour-rights/airport-security
PHOTO KATARIINA JARVINEN
Avoid assumptions and make new friends in Mandarin:
JOANNA WHITEHEAD
“Ni de dai ci shi shen me?” (Translation: “What are your pronouns?”)
is a Yorkshire lass based in London. @MsWhitehead100 71
TO RUSSIA WITH LOVE?
72 MARCH 2020
ESCAPE | TRAVELLING QUEER
T
he big, unsmiling customs official flicks through my passport with a well-licked finger. I hold my breath as I step through the X-ray machine, praying it won’t betray me. With a nod, he hands me back my passport and says the words I still can’t believe I’m hearing: “Welcome to Russia.” As I head off into St Petersburg I can’t help but feel elated that I, an openly gay woman, am here, in the country with perhaps the most well-documented anti-LGBTQI laws in the world. But why am I here, how am I here and what can I do to keep myself safe? The “why” is quite easy to answer: I love travelling and I’ve firmly resolved that neither coming out as queer or as a trans woman will stop me seeing as much of the world as possible. The “how” is harder to answer. A year before, I applied for a Russian Visa to spend some time in Moscow, but one look at my medical history and I was quickly refused, which only made me more determined to get into the country. A couple of hours of studying the consulate’s Visa rules revealed that while visiting Russia doesn’t actually require a Visa, staying there does. With this in mind, I did some thinking and came up with the solution: staying on a boat in St Petersburg harbour for a few nights, and going through customs each day to get in and out of the country. Three days after that first nervous entry into Russia, I was heading back to Tallinn, Estonia on the boat I’d stayed on, with a rucksack full of vodka and a supply of uniquely St Petersburg experiences – but also a thought. Just how could I persuade other LGBTQI people that the world is theirs to travel, as long as they do it safely? “It’s not what you say, but what you don’t say...” Monika laughs as we clink wineglasses. We’re in a bar in Khiva, a medieval walled city on Uzbekistan’s border with Turkmenistan that’s become known as the heartland of lesbian culture in the Central Asian country. There are still stringent anti-LGBTQI laws here, yet I don’t feel threatened at all. “If you like boys you wear blue,” Monika explains. “And if
ELLIE MACKIN SHARES HER TIPS AND TRICKS FOR TRAVELLING SAFELY AS A QUEER TRANS WOMAN
you like girls, you wear red. If the government asks, you pretend you never heard of this before and they can’t prove it.” She says all this with a big smile and points to her blue shirt and red jumper. “See, I like boys and girls, or red and blue. Depends who’s asking,” she grins, ordering more wine. This attitude is one I’ve come across a lot on my travels; that as long as you pretend to know nothing about LGBTQI culture, you’ll get on just fine. While I (and most other activists) wouldn’t usually condone this kind of erasure, if it keeps you safe and allows you to travel, then a little feigned ignorance can be forgiven.
Many places are making an attempt to become more LGBTQI friendly”
ELLIE MACKIN is a writer and translator who has visited over 35 countries in her quest to see the whole world. @EllieGoalball94
Of course, this doesn’t help if you’re filling in the “spouse” section of a Visa and you happen to be in a same-sex couple – most countries with anti-LGBTQI laws would reject an application straight away. However, Visas – for UK and EU citizens at least – are gradually becoming a thing of the past. In the last decade alone, more than 50 countries have removed the need for Visas for people visiting for a short period – usually less than 90 days. This includes almost all of the Caribbean islands, most of South America and large sections of Central Asia. “Of course,” Monika tells me, “they’re only doing this for the money”. No Visa requirement means tourists are less put off by bureaucracy and are able to be more spontaneous, as well as not handing over as much personal information. Until 10 years ago, explains Monika, almost all of Khiva’s visitors came from two countries: China and Russia. Now, with Visa regulations relaxed or removed, and tourism from Europe on the rise, things are changing. As we walk through the narrow cobbled streets that have been here for centuries, she points out western-style
toilet blocks, exchange rates in dollars and pounds at the exchange kiosk and other things that weren’t there just a few years ago. Attitudes are changing, too. With an influx of people from other countries, many places are making an attempt to become more LGBTQI friendly: for tourists, if not for residents. The majority of consulate websites now carry information for LGBTQI tourists which is usually very accurate, but even with Visas disappearing and countries becoming more tolerant, there can still be issues. Some countries, most notably Russia, China, India and parts of sub-Saharan Africa, have complex application processes which ask in-depth questions. Some people find this off-putting, but if you’re like me and can’t resist the lure of travel then the best thing to do is find an adviser. These should be easy to find – especially for India and China in my experience – and they can guide you through the application process, step by step, for a small fee, ensuring you avoid anything which might get you disqualified. Because advisers live in the UK, they’re usually quite culturally aware and might tell you to lie about certain things on your application; of course, it’s up to you whether you feel comfortable doing so. If you’re able to, I’d also suggest travelling in a group, or as part of an organised tour, anywhere where you feel you might be unsafe. That way you’re not on your own and can get through tricky situations as a group. You might also want to hire a guide who speaks the local language. Ultimately, I hope that, with relaxed regulations and more tourist-friendly approaches, and with the right precautions and preparations, the whole world can be a place where every LGBTQI person can explore. As I get off the boat in Tallinn I feel triumphant. Soon the memories will have faded – perhaps something to do with the six bottles of St Petersburg’s finest tucked away in my rucksack – but the three Russian stamps in my passport will still be there, and whenever I see them I will feel the same feeling; I did it! I got there! And so can you.
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February/ March
DIARY
06-08.03
WRAP YOURSELF UP IN FEB’S FINEST AS LGBT HISTORY MONTH DRAWS TO A CLOSE AND MAKES SPACE FOR INTERNATIONAL WOMEN’S DAY...
WOW FESTIVAL Southbank Centre, London
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FYI Glossarise your life with our gender-identity dictionary
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Get the L Word look Steal the style of your fave Gen Q fashionista
SATURDAYS
22.02
The RVT, London The flagship honky-tonk club night with BBC Radio 6 Music’s Amy Lamé, Jay Cloth, Readers Wifes and groundbreaking cabaret performances of every kind. Duckie is a London queer scene right of passage, people. vauxhalltavern.com
The Arcade, Exeter A night of poetry, music, comedy and everything in between. If you’re an LGBTQI performer, book yourself a slot. Show Exeter what you’ve got, baby. tinyurl.com/divaloudandqueer
DUCKIE
MONTHLY THE OUTLET
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Horoscope What have the stars got in store for you?
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Milk & Honey, Manchester A monthly group and social space for LGBTQI people of colour to keep it real and discuss the undiscussed: identity, relationships, race, sexuality and gender. Every third Wednesday. tinyurl.com/divatheoutlet
LOUD & QUEER
22.02
AGE OF DIVERSITY Flourish House, Glasgow A welcoming workshop created for members of the community aged 50+ in celebration of all things LGBT History Month. Grab a mug of tea, a fistful of biscuits and settle in with your fellow lez/ bi, and otherwise fabulous, Glaswegians. tinyurl.com/divaageof
WHAT’S ON WHERE YOU ARE? Know of a soirée outside of London? Get in touch! We’re dead keen on featuring more events outside of the capital. Send your listings to us via email or tweet @wordsbydanielle
WORDS DANIELLE MUSTARDE, ERIN MANIATOPOULOU, PHOTOS BELINDA LAWLEY, CLEYTON EWERTON/PEXELS
Women Of The World Festival is back for her 10th anniversary. Running over International Women’s Day weekend, the line-up includes a smorgasbord of women-focused events featuring some of the world’s most exciting performers, activists and voices – including Sandi Toksvig, Amelia Abraham and DIVA’s Valentino Vecchietti – as well as live podcast recordings of Feminists Don’t Wear Pink and The Guilty Feminist. Worth your womanly while. thewowfoundation.com
LIFESTYLE | DIARY
24.02
S/HE/IT HAPPENS Theatre Deli, London Groundbreaking trans artist Mitchell Jay brings the joyfully funny, critically acclaimed S/he/it Happens back to London. A hilarious, trans-focused physical comedy masterpiece exploring identity, dysphoria and transition through slapstick and wit. tinyurl.com/divasheheit
26.02-08.03 GLASGOW FILM FEST
Multiple venues, Glasgow Featuring a great lineup of LGBTQI films, the 16th Glasgow Film Festival closes with How To Build A Girl, the big-screen version of Caitlin Moran’s bestselling semiautobiographical coming-of-age comedy. Starring Booksmart’s Beanie Feldstein as “a 16-year-old extrovert from Wolverhampton with raging hormones, an unstoppable imagination and gigantic dreams,” we can’t wait to see how it’s done. glasgowfilm.org/festival
21.03
KINGDOM COME #6 Abbeydale Picture House, Sheffield
Dive into a world of queer joy with this special Under The Sea edition of Andro & Eve’s drag king cabaret. Hosted by Christian Adore and with performances by Wesley Dykes, Mo Terboat, Prinx Silver and Georgeous Michael, drape yourself in your finest seaweed and come feel the mer-love. With cake, siren song and all the nauti buoys. androandeve.com
27.02
5-15.03
11.03
MacGregor’s, Inverness Hit podcast Stories Of Scotland presents a night of traditional storytelling with a modern LGBTQI twist. Tickets are free with a pay-what-you-want bucket supporting Highland Pride. tinyurl.com/divafolktales
Multiple venues, South Yorkshire Fancy 10 days of fierce, feminist fun? Kicking off SheFest is Lioness Theatre, Doncaster with its production Tonehenge. On Saturday, the festival takes over Tudor Square and Winter Gardens with talented female musicians and performers, street food, stalls and more. And, on Sunday, Munroe Bergdorf speaks live for International Women’s Day. Join ‘em as they challenge, empower and celebrate the women of the seven hills and beyond. #EachForEqual. shefest.org.uk
Waterstones, Glasgow A wonderfully sober social space for the non-binary community of Glasgow. This lovely bunch meet every second Wednesday and are keen to welcome new members. Pull up a chair. tinyurl.com/divanonbinary
QUEER AS FOLKTALES
28.02 MANDEMIC
22.02
LOV(H)ER Union Chapel, London
Our friends over at House Of Pride present a celebration of love in all its forms. From queer love to self-love to past love to new love, this is an evening of creative expression for queer women and non-binary folk. Featuring Azure Antoinette, as well as Munroe Bergdorf, Chase Johnsey, Shura and Symoné. Got your ticket? #ifyouwannabemylovher unionchapel.org.uk/event
Omnibus Theatre, London The year is 3019 and the world is now a feminist utopia where men are an endangered species. These are the final cries of machismo – starring Beau Jangles, Ben Dyldo, Dan Load, Dickie Martin, Raymond, and Sir. omnibus-clapham.org/ mandemic
28.02
QUEERSTORY EartH, London Another LGBT History Month event jam-packed with two film screenings, live performances, DJs, spoken word and – if you’re still standing by 10pm – vogue! This year’s theme? Legends & Legacies. Think: LGBTQI characters from throughout herstory. tinyurl.com/divaqueerstory
SHEFEST 2020
06.03
TRANS POWER Blackwell’s, Manchester In the follow-up to Queer Sex, Juno Roche pushes the boundaries of trans representation even further with Trans Power: Own Your Gender. A deeply personal, honest and instructive book, hear Juno speak their truth IRL. tinyurl.com/divaownyourgender
NON-BINARY NIGHT
13.03
A VERY BIG OPENING Colours Hoxton, London Join the And What? Queer. Arts. Festival. to celebrate the launch of its fourth programme (applause, please). A queer, pay-what-youcan party where all proceeds go towards helping artists and creating more queer events. With performance collectives The Cocoa Butter Club, Bollox and drag mag, Louche. tinyurl.com/divaandwhat
19.03
YOUTH GROUP Zellig Building, Birmingham A brand new youth group for queer people of colour aged 1624 years old. Think: a safe space to chat, chill and meet new friends or hang out with old ones. tinyurl.com/divacoloursyouth
75
LIFESTYLE | TRANS GLOSSARY
FYI
GLOSSARISE YOUR LIFE WITH OUR ESSENTIAL, POSITIVELY TRANSCENDENTAL, GENDER-IDENTITY DICTIONARY
“How are you going to find out about things if you don’t ask questions?” L M Montgomery, author of Anne Of Green Gables, once wisely said. In a similar spirit, we’ve assembled this handy (but by no means exhaustive) glossary of terms relating to gender and gender identity, with a little help from our friends at Mermaids and Stonewall, as well as Nonbinary.wiki.
TRANSGENDER (OR TRANS) People who do not identify with the sex/gender they were assigned at birth. A note from Nonbinary.wiki... Transgender is also an umbrella term covering all gender identities or expressions that transgress or transcend society’s rules and concepts of gender, though not all non-binary people refer to themselves as trans.
TRANSPHOBIA The fear or dislike of someone based on the fact they are trans, including the denial or refusal to accept their gender identity.
Stonewall says...
Nonbinary.wiki says...
GENDER
CISGENDER
AGENDER
Gender is often expressed in terms of masculinity and femininity, gender is largely culturally determined and is assumed from the sex assigned at birth.
People who identify with the sex/gender they were assigned at birth.
An identity under the non-binary and trans umbrella, agender individuals find that they have no gender identity, although some define this more as having a gender identity that is neutral.
GENDER DYSPHORIA Gender dysphoria is used to describe when a person experiences discomfort or distress because there is a mismatch between their sex assigned at birth and their gender identity.
GENDER EXPRESSION How a person chooses to outwardly express their gender, within the context of societal expectations of gender. A person who does not conform to societal expectations of gender may not, however, identify as trans.
PRONOUNS Pronouns are the words we use to refer to people’s gender in conversation – for example, “he” or “she”. Some people may prefer others to refer to them in gender-neutral language and use pronouns such as “they”/“them”/“theirs”.
What other terms do you use to describe your gender identity? Tweet us @DIVAmagazine, #DIVAfyi 76 MARCH 2020
Mermaids says...
GENDER IDENTITY An individual’s internal, innate sense of their own gender.
GENDER NONCONFORMING Does not conform to socially accepted or stereotypical gender norms. Less medicalised than the term “gender variant”.
MISGENDER To use a pronoun or other language which is different to someone’s way of describing themselves. Understood to mean someone’s identity has not been recognised.
GENDERQUEER An umbrella term that refers both to non-normative gender identity and gender expression. The label may also be used by individuals wishing to identify as holding queer or non-normative gender without being any more specific about the nature of their gender, as with non-binary (below).
NON-BINARY An umbrella term covering any gender identity or expression that does not fit within the gender binary.
WORDS DANIELLE MUSTARDE
Mermaids says...
DIVA MEDIA GROUP IS EXPANDING BE A PART OF IT!
DIVA Media Group is the world’s leading media organisation run by and for lesbians and bisexual women. We started out 25 years ago with the creation of DIVA Magazine, Europe’s most widely read monthly glossy for women who love women, and our magazine is still going strong today. We’re proud to be such an integral part of so many women’s lives, with around 100,000 monthly readers and our digital edition frequently topping the iTunes “Women’s Interest” charts in the UK. We recently launched DIVA Box Office – Europe’s first online channel dedicated to programming for the LBT+ audience – with exciting plans to expand the richness and diversity of Team DIVA’s offering – there’s a lot to look forward to!
divamag.co.uk
divaboxoffice.com
LIFESTYLE | GEN Q STYLE
Get the L Word look STEAL THE STYLE OF YOUR FAVE GEN Q FASHIONISTA WORDS ROXY BOURDILLON The L Word has always pushed the sartorial envelope, from Shane’s infamous leather ensemble to Bette’s muumuu phase, designed to cunningly disguise Jennifer Beals’ real-life pregnancy bump. Generation Q star Rosanny Zayas, aka Sophie Suarez, tells Variety the
clothes are just as jaw-dropping this time around: “They represent the character in a way that they’re so stylish, but don’t conform to any kind of gender normality.” Costume designer Deirdra Govan calls the aesthetic “grounded glamour”. Talking to Mingle Media,
she reveals, “We are going to still see some incredible suit choices for Bette, some surprises with Shane and we are definitely going to flip our lids when we see Alice”. Buckle up, queer style queens, and feast your fashionable eyes on Gen Q’s super gay, super gorge key trends.
BLACK BLAZER zara.com, £59.99
HAWAIIAN SHIRT beyondretro.com, £25
DENIM DUNGAREES monki.com, £50
ALLSAINTS LEATHER JACKET selfridges.com, £328
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81
BY MICHELE KNIGHT
HOROSCOPE
LIFESTYLE | STARS
ARIES (21 March–20 April)
LEO (24 July–23 Aug)
SAGITTARIUS (23 Nov–22 Dec)
My oh my! Your ruler, Mars, is hooking up with lucky Jupiter and transformative Pluto, making March the most dramatic month of the year. On top of that, a stunning new moon in your sign could grant a delicious wish. What do you want to overcome? What do you want to let go of? A potent explosion of possibility urges you to be bold, brave and free.
Meow! No one can take your crown this month, luscious Leo. You can see right into the heart of situations and sense if anyone is trying to pull a fast one. Your charisma is dazzling and you’re catnip to the gals. However, avoid any overwhelming feelings of vengeance. Channel your power in positive ways and a delicious reward awaits.
Wildest of ponies, the cosmos is opening up an opportunity. To benefit from this oncein-a-lifetime magic soup of fabulous, you may need to make a commitment. I know, you’re all about freedom, but ironically this particular promise, if kept, could well be the wind beneath your wings. Abundance is reachable!
TAURUS (21 April–21 May)
VIRGO (24 Aug–23 Sept)
Goddess! It’s an unparalleled month of explosive cosmic action. Women-loving Venus is in your sign. The cosmos is pouring a litre of love potion number nine on your being – what or who do you want to attract? Prepare for significant changes including adventure, learning and journeying to another country. Oh, and a longdistance love could get serious.
Goddess of order, this month is intense. You’re making a commitment to your pleasure. There’s a waterfall of creative and lusty vibes flowing through you. If anything is blocking your happiness, you muster the courage to give it the boot. A wild affair is also in the offing – do what you have to do. Adventure and happiness are key words right now.
GEMINI (22 May–21 June)
LIBRA (24 Sept–23 Oct)
Dynamic times, Gemini, as you slay your fears and jump into your power! March brings some of the most full on astrology of the year. Pluto is fuelling your desires, bringing a bounty of naughty shenanigans. Jupiter throws you a chance to step it up and show a love interest what you’re made of. Money, sensuality and intensity all await.
Your illustrious ruler, Venus, the planet of love, is grabbing you by the soul and plunging you into profound feelings. You might decide to move or shake things up in your family. You desire harmony and equality and are not afraid to fight for it. Love is on the agenda and a weight is lifted from your mind. Be brave, be daring and trust the process.
CANCER (22 June–23 July)
MICHELE KNIGHT is a queer psychic, astrologer, broadcaster, TV personality and bestselling author. micheleknight.com 82 MARCH 2020
March is saucy as hell. A night out brings a dramatic and explosive attraction. There are no Pot Noodles for one this month, as you attract all sorts of friends and potential lovers. Get out there and showcase your many talents. Throw glitter over shade and launch yourself into a massive adventure.
SCORPIO (24 Oct–22 Nov) Look out for a soul connection, as Venus and Uranus bring a dollop of surprise love magic. Pay attention to all communication, as there’s buried treasure in an email or text. One of your ideas could catapult you forward. Write inspirations down and act on them. It’s time to take yourself, and what you have to offer, seriously.
CAPRICORN (23 Dec–20 Jan) Holy cow! This month could be the most impressive, important and profound in your entire life! I jest you not. Grab possibilities. Let go of what is not working for you. Leave relationships if they are crap and open your arms to a brand spanking new life. Fingers crossed – extraordinary events are going to transform you.
AQUARIUS (21 Jan–19 Feb) Your words are spells and your thoughts the fuel to reach your destination. Everything you think and speak has added magic. Saturn, the planet of responsibility, is entering your sign and grounding you to get the job done. What do you want to achieve? Saturn tells you that if you put the work in, you will reach your goal.
PISCES (20 Feb–20 March) The sun and Neptune join forces in your sign on 8 March, leaving you giddy with confidence. Your heart is open and you’re the psychic embodiment of Sandra Bullock in Practical Magic. You’ll find that handy AF, as Jupiter and Pluto are transforming your social circle. The right collaborators pop up the instant you let go of a group you’ve outgrown.
18–29 March BFI Southbank London LGBTIQ+ Film Festival
#BFIFlare 25 & Under tickets £3 Main Supporter
Supported by
Official Partners
Media Partner
Aged 16-25? For £3 tickets on the door, visit the box office 45 mins before start time with your ID. One ticket per customer, subject to availability.