True love or true lust? warning signs of infatuation

by Ron D'Orazio staff writer

Just when you are getting into the groove of the new year, along comes the year's first major holiday. Valentine's Day is the time when you concentrate on making that special someone in your life happy.

Valentine's Day is the time when many people celebrate their relationships with their loved ones.

Speaking of love, how do you know you are in love? ls there a defining moment in a person's life when true love arrives?

According to Dr. Andrew King, director of counseling services, there is a difference between true love and just liking someone, or infatuation.

King said a person experiences true love when he or she has a real understanding of their companion's strengths and weaknesses.

"You love the person, not in spite of their flaws, but because of them," King said.

According to Jennifer Rankin, a graduate intern working in the counseling department in the Rooymans Center, true love happens when you accept can the person as a whole, not focusing on their "perfect parts" or their flaws.

King said an infatuation is not a sign of true love. Infatuation has more to do with a person's fantasy about what a relationship would be like with their idea of a "perfect person."

King said that to achieve true love, a person must possess the ability to disagree, discuss and resolve conflicts dealing with their partner.

When asked what true love was, sophomore Brian Ferrese said, "When you find a person that no matter what you do, the other person will be there for you."

Sophomore Becky Grabie said, "True love is a feeling that you have for someone and you get the same feeling from that other person." Rankin said there should be more of a compromise in relationships centered around true love.

According to King, in order to be a companion to someone you care about, a person must be able to know themselves well.

This means a person must be comfortable with their own abilities and flaws before being considered a good candidate for true love.

At college age, many young men and women face the choice between true love and infatuation.

Rankin said relationships for people of this age sometimes can become the identity for one or both persons involved. The need to be with someone can be mistaken for love.

According to King, certain qualities of both partners that can produce true love are hard work, patience, communication and the love existing as choice for both partners.

Rankin said that trust and respect are a must in order to achieve true love.