Los Angeles Blade, Volume 08, Issue 27, December 13, 2024

Page 1


Supreme

Bienestar commemorates World AIDS Day

Over 300 people gathered last Monday to commemorate World AIDS Day in an event hosted by Bienestar Human Services. The non-profit focuses on identifying and addressing emerging health issues faced by Latinx and Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans Queer and more (LGBTQ+) populations.

The main objective of the annual event was to light a candle to honor those who passed away due to Human Immunodeficiency Virus (HIV) and celebrate those who, despite the condition, keep going.

HIV is the virus that causes Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome (AIDS). Once you have HIV, the virus stays in the body for life, and while there is no cure. There is, however, medicine that can help people stay healthy, states Planned Parenthood. HIV destroys the cells that protect the human body from infections. If a person doesn’t have enough of these CD4 or T cells, the body can’t fight off infections as normal. This damage can lead to AIDS, which is the most serious stage of HIV, and it leads to death over time.

In the U.S., there are about 1.3 million people newly infected with HIV in 2023 and 39.9 million living with HIV, according to the Joint United Nations Programme on HIV/AIDS.

Living with HIV for decades

Among the participants at the event at the Ukrainian Culture Center on Melrose in East Hollywood was Marcela, a transgender woman who was diagnosed HIV positive 33 years ago. She said when she learned about her diagnosis, she was so depressed she tried to commit suicide. She ended up at the hospital, and after getting better, she heard about an organization that was helping people with health issues such as hers.

“Since then, I learned to live with this condition because it is not an illness; it’s a condition,” she said.

Marcela, who didn’t provide her last name, said she not only found a new way of living with HIV but also found an extended family at Bienestar. They have guided her on how to receive the proper treatment and medicines, to be part of a support group and even to pay her rent when she needed it the most.

The 64-year-old woman doesn’t have any family members in the United States. She said five years ago, her husband passed away of pneumonia. She was living alone in Long Beach and got behind her payments during the pandemic. She said Bienestar helped her apply for a grant of over $20,000 that secured the payment for her rent, and now she is debt-free.

“I’m extremely grateful to them and all the help they provide,” she said.

Working for the community

This year, Bienestar is celebrating 35 years of serving the LGBTQ+ community. Among the many programs they offer is the Support Group for Transgender Women, which Marcela belongs to.

Mia Perez, the support group manager, said 15 to 20 members attend the group every Friday from 3 to 5 p.m. They talk about their feelings, share experiences, and plan and participate in social events.

Perez said one of the participants’ biggest concerns is accepting reality once they have been diagnosed. “However, with all these new treatments people that are HIV positive can have a normal relationship with someone who doesn’t have HIV. It’s all about getting informed,” said Perez.

Other concerns include what will happen to them once the new presidential administration takes office since they have plans to deport immigrants and many of the trans-

gender women are immigrants.

“That’s why we are trying to get in contact with an immigration attorney or an organization so they can keep them informed of their rights,” said Perez.

Bienestar events, like World AIDS Day, help those affected create a stronger community, and they realize the recognition is not just for those who are HIV positive but also for their families and friends.

Marcela said when she is feeling down or bored at home, all she has to do is go to Bienestar and the people there always give her a warm welcome.

“They give me coffee, they offer me lunch. Being there is like being at home,” she said.

Bienestar celebrated World AIDS Day on December 2, 2024. (Courtesy of Bienestar)
Bienestar celebrated World AIDS Day on December 2, 2024. (Courtesy of Bienestar)
MARCELA (left), a Bienestar member has received help for over three decades. (Courtesy of Bienestar)

Queer Latin Dance LA celebrates decade of inclusive lessons

How this small dance class turned into a decade-long organization

Queer Latin Dance L.A. hosted their Holiday Social on Saturday, celebrating their 10-year anniversary. Beginner and experienced dancers were welcomed to the night-long party that went from 8 p.m. to 1 a.m. The evening featured music by D.J. K Bunny and special performances.

Arlene Santos, one of the cofounders of Queer Latin Dance L.A., said the group started when a friend who had visited Santos’ own studio invited her to teach at a meetup in North Hollywood. Through word of mouth, about 80 people showed up to the first meetup of what they called a ‘samesex dance class.’ Chairs and tables had to be shuffled around to make space for dancing in the small, smoky dive bar.   Santos told CALÓ News that people had driven to North Hollywood all the way from Diamond Bar and Orange County. When she suggested salsa studios closer to those travelers, they told her they didn’t feel welcome in other dance spaces. One of the reasons was that gender was more strictly enforced; attending men didn’t want to dance with other men and women weren’t welcome to try and lead. Same-sex dancing couples received uncomfortable stares from others and teachers used unnecessarily gendered language to refer

to class members.

“That’s something that I was guilty of 20 years ago when I was teaching,” Santos said. “I’d say, ‘okay, take the ladies and rotate.’ And now it’s something I would never even dream of saying because it doesn’t even make sense to me anymore. It’s not about ladies and gentlemen, [dancing] is about leaders and followers.”

The queer-specific dance scene has grown over the past 10 years, according to Santos, who said Queer Latin Dance L.A. cross-promotes with other groups and sends students with different schedules to places that are a better fit. The company has grown in their own ways as well. Now, a few former students have become instructors who lead the group’s very own competitive dance team.

Santos said she’s hopeful about the years to come.

“I just want the scene to keep growing and for these spaces to be around so that anyone can come and dance and feel like they’re in a safe space,” she said.

Saturday night featured a salsa class at 8 p.m., bachata lesson at 8:40 p.m., and dance performances at 10 p.m. more information can be found on their site.

New monument in West Hollywood will honor lives lost to AIDS

West Hollywood Park will see new addition finished next August

December is AIDS/HIV awareness month and this year West Hollywood is honoring the lives lost, by breaking ground on a project in West Hollywood Park that has been in the works since 2012.

Members of Hollywood’s City Council joined representatives from the Foundation of AIDS Monument to announce the commencement of the construction of

STORIES: The AIDS Monument, which will memorialize 32 million lives lost. This monument, created by artist Daniel Tobin,  will represent the rich history of Los Angeles where many of those afflicted with HIV/AIDS lived out their final days in support of their community.

Tobin is a co-founder and creative director of Urban Art Projects, which creates public art programs that humanize cities by embedding creativity into local communities.

The motto for the monument is posted on the website announcing the project.

“The AIDS Monument:

REMEMBERS those we lost, those who survived, the protests and vigils, the caregivers.

CELEBRATES those who step up when others step away.

EDUCATES future generations through lessons learned.”

The monument will feature a plaza with a donor wall, vertical bronze ‘traces’ with narrative text, integrated lighting resembling a candlelight vigil, and a podium facing North San Vicente Blvd.

World AIDS Day, which just passed, is on December 1st since the World Health Organization declared it an international day for global health in 1988 to honor the lives lost to HIV/AIDS.

The Foundation for the AIDS monument aims to chronicle the epidemic to be preserved for younger genera-

tions to learn the history and memorialize the voices that arose during this time.

The HIV/AIDS epidemic particularly affected people in Hollywood during the onset of the epidemic in the 1980s. The epidemic caused a devastatingly high number of deaths in the city. The city then became one of the first government entities to provide social service grants to local AIDS and HIV organizations.

In 1985, the city sponsored one of the first awareness campaigns in the country, nationally and globally becoming a model city for the response to the epidemic.

Earlier this year, the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention released the theme for World AIDS Day, ‘Collective Action: Sustain and Accelerate HIV Progress.’

The city of West Hollywood continues to strive to become a HIV Zero city with its current implementation of HIV Zero Initiative. The initiative embraces a vision to “Get to Zero” on many fronts: zero new infections, zero progression of HIV to AIDS, zero discrimination and zero stigma.

Along with the initiative and the new AIDS monument, the city also provides ongoing support and programming through events for World AIDS Day and the annual AIDS Memorial Walk in partnership with the Alliance for Housing and Healing.

For more information, please visit www.weho.org/services/human-services/hiv-aids-resources

STORIES: The AIDS Monument, more info at go.weho.org/ aidsmonument. (Image courtesy of the City of West Hollywood)

Heritage Foundation praises trans healthcare ban for military families

In a statement released Tuesday, the conservative Heritage Foundation praised House Republicans’ military spending bill, including the provision added by Speaker Mike Johnson (R-La.) that would ban gender-affirming healthcare interventions for the children of U.S. service members.

Victoria Coates, vice president of the organization’s Kathyrn and Shelby Cullom Davis Institute for National Security and Foreign Policy, said the National Defense Authorization Act, which was passed by the U.S. House Rules Committee along party lines on Monday, marks an “important step toward a defense budget that flows from strategy and directs DOD to become as lethal as possible to protect the national security of Americans.”

“The bill authorizes resources for DOD at the border, retains the House’s ban on corrosive race-based policies, eliminates the Senate’s provision to draft our daughters, prohibits transgender surgeries for minors under TRICARE, supports military construction in the Indo-Pacific and shipbuilding, including a third Arleigh Burke–class destroyer, and incremental funding for a second Virginia-class submarine,” Coates said. “These policies in this bill, combined with new military leadership, will make America stronger.”

In April 2022, the Heritage Foundation published Project 2025, a comprehensive 920-page governing blueprint for President-elect Donald Trump’s second term that proposes radical reforms to imbue the federal government with “biblical principles” and advance a Christian nationalist agenda, including by stripping rights away from LGBTQ Americans while abandoning efforts to promote equality for sexual and gender minorities abroad.

“The next conservative president must make the institutions

of American civil society hard targets for woke culture warriors,” the authors explain on page four, beginning “with deleting the terms sexual orientation and gender identity (“SOGI”), diversity, equity, and inclusion (“DEI”), gender, gender equality, gender equity, gender awareness, gender-sensitive, abortion, reproductive health, reproductive rights, and any other term … out of every federal rule, agency regulation, contract, grant, regulation, and piece of legislation that exists.”

The document also lays the groundwork for the incoming administration to revive the ban on military service by transgender troops that Trump implemented during his first term, arguing that “gender dysphoria is incompatible with the demands of military service.”

Leading up to the election, when Project 2025 became a political liability for Trump, he tried to distance himself from the document and its policy proposals, but as the New York Times documented, an “analysis of the Project 2025 playbook and its 307 authors and contributors revealed that well over half of them had been in Mr. Trump’s administration or on his campaign or transition teams.”

The Times also noted that Trump has held meetings with Heritage Foundation President Kevin Roberts and a co-founder, Edwin Feulner.

In October, the Congressional Equality Caucus published a report entitled, “Ripping Away Our Freedoms: How House Republicans are Working to Implement Project 2025’s Assault on LGBTQI+ Americans’ Rights.”

The group’s gay chair, U.S. Rep. Mark Pocan (D-Wis.), noted that “When Republicans took control of the House of Representatives last year, we saw an avalanche of attacks against the

LGBTQI+ community.”

The congressman added, “During the past two years, they forced more than 70 anti-LGBTQI+ votes on the House floor. And nearly every bill and amendment idea was ripped out of the pages of Project 2025’s ‘Mandate for Leadership 2025: The Conservative Promise.’”

The NDAA filed by House Republicans is unlikely to pass through the U.S. Senate while the chamber remains under Democratic control, and President Joe Biden has vowed to veto legislation that discriminates against transgender and LGBQ communities, but the spending package will face far fewer obstacles after the new Congress is seated on Jan. 3 and Trump is inaugurated on Jan. 20.

Objecting to the spending bill’s inclusion of language prohibiting military families from accessing gender affirming care are congressional Democrats like U.S. Rep. Adam Smith (Wash.), who serves as the ranking member of the U.S. House Armed Services Committee, and advocacy groups like the Human Rights Campaign and the American Civil Liberties Union.

Protests against anti-trans bathroom policy lead to arrests on Hill

About 15 protesters affiliated with the Gender Liberation Movement were arrested on Thursday for protesting the anti-trans bathroom policy that was introduced by U.S. Rep. Nancy Mace (R-S.C.) and enacted last month by U.S. House Speaker Mike Johnson (R-La.).

Whistleblower Chelsea Manning and social justice advocates Raquel Willis and Renee Bracey Sherman were among those who were arrested in the women’s bathroom and the hallway outside Johnson’s office in the Cannon House Office Building.

Demonstrators held banners reading “FLUSH BATHROOM BIGOTRY” and “CONGRESS: STOP PISSING ON OUR RIGHTS!” They chanted, “SPEAKER JOHNSON, NANCY MACE, OUR GENDERS ARE NO DEBATE!” and “WHEN TRANS FOLKS ARE UNDER ATTACK WHAT DO WE DO? ACT UP, FIGHT BACK!”

Protests began around 12:10 p.m. ET. Within 30 minutes, Capitol Police arrived on the scene, began making arrests, and cleared the area. A spokesperson told Axios the demonstration was an illegal violation of the D.C. code against crowding, obstructing or incommoding.

Mace and her flame-throwing House GOP allies have said the bathroom policy was meant to target Sarah McBride, the Delaware state senator who will become the first transgen-

der member of Congress after she is seated in January.

LGBTQ groups, elected Democrats, and others have denounced the move as a bigoted effort to bully and intimidate a new colleague, with many asking how the policy’s proponents would enforce the measure.

Outside her office in the Longworth House Office Building, the Washington Blade requested comment from Mace about the protests and arrests.

“Yeah, I went to the Capitol Police station where they were being processed, so I’ll be posting what I said shortly,” the congresswoman said.

Using an anti-trans slur, Mace posted a video to her X account in which she says, “alright, so some tranny protesters showed up at the Capitol today to protest my bathroom bill, but they got arrested — poor things.”

“So I have a message for the protesters who got arrested,” the congresswoman continued, and then spoke into a megaphone as she read the Miranda warning. “If you cannot afford an attorney — I doubt many of you can — one will be provided to you at the government’s expense,” she said.

“Everyone deserves to use the restroom without fear of discrimination or violence. Trans folks are no different. We deserve dignity and respect and we will fight until we get it,” Gender Liberation Movement co-founder Raquel Willis said in a press release.

“In the 2024 election, trans folks were left to fend for ourselves after nearly $200 million of attack ads were disseminated across the United States,” she said. “Now, as Republican politicians, try to remove us from public life, Democratic leaders are silent as hell.”

Willis continued, “But we can’t transform bigotry and hate with inaction. We must confront it head on. Democrats must rise up, filibuster, and block this bill.”

President-elect DONALD TRUMP addresses the anti-LGBT Heritage Foundation in 2017. (Washington Blade file photo by Michael Key)
Protest outside House Speaker Mike Johnson’s (R-La.) office in the Cannon House Office Building (Washington Blade photo by Christopher Kane)

Expert challenges predictions that SCOTUS will uphold trans healthcare ban

NCLR’s Shannon Minter more optimistic about U.S. v. Skrmetti

Less than a week after oral arguments were concluded in the landmark U.S. v. Skrmetti case, most pundits and legal experts seem to agree the U.S. Supreme Court is poised to uphold Tennessee’s law banning gender affirming health treatments for minors.

Shannon Minter, however, is not convinced.

In fact, as the legal director for the National Center for Lesbian Rights told the Blade during an interview on Tuesday, “neither I nor the lawyers I know who are following and have litigated these cases” buy into the “negative” analysis published by many mainstream press outlets after the parties addressed the justices at One First Street on Dec. 4.

“I was totally surprised,” Minter said, and “really disappointed,” in coverage of the oral arguments that appeared in places like SCOTUSblog, where Amy Howe wrote that “nearly all of the court’s conservative majority expressed skepticism about a challenge to Tennessee’s ban on puberty blockers and hormone therapy for transgender teenagers.”

The article was hardly an outlier. The New York Times reported it was “probable” that “there were at least five votes for rejecting the equal protection challenge to the law,” while Slate’s Mark Joseph Stern explained that Skrmetti will determine whether “constitutional limits on sex discrimination” can “survive this 6-3 conservative supermajority” and then concluded that “after two and a half hours of arguments, it appears the answer will be no.”

From the interpretation of key exchanges between the justices and the parties last week to assessments of whether and to what extent certain conservatives might be inclined to join their liberal colleagues in this case and expectations for how precedent-setting decisions could shape its outcome, Minter offered a variety of reasons for why he is skeptical of the reasoning that undergirds much of the mainstream opinion on where the court is likely to land when a decision in Skrmetti is published, as expected, in June 2025.

Asked why his take on Wednesday’s oral arguments diverged so significantly from those offered by many reporters and legal analysts, Minter suggested that conservative Justice Samuel Alito might be responsible to some extent for “the negative perception [reflected] in the mainstream press” because he was “unremittingly negative and spoke a lot” and “took up most of the space.”

Last week aside, given his well established, deeply conservative ideological bent and record of skepticism toward LGBTQ rights, one might reasonably expect Alito to issue a decision that would uphold Tennessee’s trans healthcare ban. Likewise with respect to Justice Clarence Thomas who, compared to Alito, is hardly less conservative or more solicitous of opportunities to expand the LGBTQ community’s rights and freedoms. Minter characterized both justices’ engagement with the Skrmetti litigants as “negative,” adding that another conservative on the bench, Brett Kavanaugh, was occasionally prickly but otherwise seemed eager to understand the nuances of the case and address questions like whether or how “a ruling in favor of the plaintiffs, here” might “predetermine what we would

have to do in a sports case.”

By contrast, it is difficult to predict where the other conservatives on the high court might land on legal questions central to the case. Neil Gorsuch, for instance, was difficult to read even before he declined to ask a single question or otherwise speak when the court heard oral arguments last week.

Minter noted that “less than four years ago when the court issued its decision in Bostock v. Clayton County, it was Gorsuch whose majority opinion, which was cosigned by the conservative Chief Justice John Roberts and their liberal colleagues, recognized “that discrimination because a person is transgender is inherently based on sex, that it is a type of sex discrimination.”

“So the issue here” in the Skrmetti case “looks awfully similar,” Minter said, because the core legal questions concern the constitutionality of “a statute that targets transgender people” and confronts the court with the question of “whether or not [the law] discriminates based on sex.”

Acknowledging that one should not read too deeply into Gorsuch’s decision to play his hand “extremely close to the vest” during oral arguments, Minter said, “I would like to think that if he had a significant change of view” since authoring the court’s landmark opinion on anti-trans discrimination in 2020, the justice would have “wanted to ask some questions to explore that.”

For these reasons, “just from the very outset,” one might reasonably expect or at least “be hopeful that Justice Gorsuch will continue to [treat] these issues the same way that he did in Bostock,” Minter said.

He added that Roberts, likewise, was careful last week not to indicate which direction he was leaning and instead asked both parties to address concise but challenging questions. While Minter conceded that “It’s hard to draw any definitive conclusion,” he said the chief justice’s performance offered little reason to suspect that he has “shifted his fundamental understanding of these issues from one case to another.”

In a more “encouraging” showing last week, the court’s sixth conservative justice, Amy Coney Barrett, appeared to be “taking these issues very seriously” and “very genuinely grappling with whether or not this is a sex based law, and even with whether discrimination against transgender people, which is considered in its own right, [should] be subject to some sort of heightened scrutiny,” Minter said.

Another major reason for optimism, Minter said, was the “very belabored” discussion of Bostock on Wednesday that was kicked off by the court’s interest in revisiting recent caselaw and the petitioners’ masterful application of relevant precedent to legal questions at issue in Skrmetti.

Elizabeth Prelogar, the Biden-Harris administration’s U.S. solicitor general who represents the federal government and argues alongside the petitioners, did “such a beautiful job of saying that the analysis of Bostock itself was not new,” but rather “drew upon preexisting equal protection case law,” Minter said.

Importantly, he said Prelogar was careful to delineate how

both the statutory proscriptions against workplace discrimination ordained by Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964 and the rights guaranteed by the Equal Protection Clause of the 14th Amendment “rely on something called but-for causation, where all you have to show is that sex, in this case, was a butfor cause of the discrimination — meaning it doesn’t have to be the only cause; there can be other factors at play, but as long as it is a cause, it’s discrimination.”

“The reason Bostock was a surprise is just that, sadly, we’re so accustomed to the law not being applied equally or fairly to transgender people,” said Minter, who credited Gorsuch for applying “the law and the preexisting analysis honestly and fairly to transgender people” and deciding, “correctly,” that “there’s just no way to apply this framework that we’ve always applied and not come to the conclusion that this is sex discrimination.”

After the 2022 decision in Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health Organization, which overturned decades-old abortion protections that were first established with Roe v. Wade in 1973, critics argued the conservative justices had cavalierly abandoned the principle of stare decisis, which holds that courts should abide or defer to previous precedent-setting decisions, where possible, especially in landmark decisions that govern how people live their lives.

Asked whether the Supreme Court might be less inclined to overturn decisions like Bostock that were issued more recently and authored by the justices who currently serve on the bench, Minter said “absolutely,” adding that it would be “extraordinary for them to not follow the analysis and reasoning in a decision they decided so recently.”

The stare decisis issue provides more reason for optimism about Skrmetti, Minter said. Overturning important precedent is “unsettling to the stability of the law and to the status and stature of the court,” and “it helps that Bostock was a 6-3 decision” rather than a narrower, more contentious case settled by a 5-4 majority.

The path by which U.S. Skrmetti reached the highest court in the land is a case study of the devastating consequences, the second and third-order effects, of scapegoating a vulnerable community with a moral panic that is allowed to fester thanks to fear and bigotry.

After several years in which state legislatures collectively introduced hundreds of bills targeting the rights of trans young people and their families, including access to healthcare, the Movement Advancement Project reports that 37 percent of transgender youth (ages 13-17) now live in places that legally prohibit them from accessing best practice medication and surgical care, with dozens of states enforcing these bans.

SHANNON MINTER (Blade photo by Michael Key)

Claudia López mum on whether she will run for president of Colombia

Former Bogotá Mayor Claudia López on Saturday did not specifically discuss the growing speculation over whether she will run for president of Colombia in 2026 when she spoke at the LGBTQ+ Victory Institute’s annual International LGBTQ Leaders Conference in D.C. and with the Washington Blade.

“In a week I am going to return to Colombia and I’m coming back with a very, very punctual task,” she said in a speech she gave after the Victory Institute inducted her into its LGBTQ+ Political Hall of Fame at the JW Marriott. “Democracy in the world in general needs emotional reconnection.”

López, 54, was a student protest movement leader, journalist, and political scientist before she entered politics.

She returned to Colombia in 2013 after she earned her PhD in political science at Columbia University.

López in her speech said Juan Francisco “Kiko” Gomez, a former governor of La Guajíra Department in northern Colombia, threatened to assassinate her because she wrote about his ties to criminal gangs. A Bogotá judge in 2017 convicted Gómez of ordering members of a paramilitary group to kill former Barrancas Mayor Yandra Brito, her husband, and bodyguard and sentenced him to 55 years in prison.

López in 2014 returned to Colombia, and ran for the country’s Senate as a member of the center-left Green Al-

liance party after she recovered from breast cancer. López won after a 10-week campaign that cost $80,000.

“I was the only woman, the only LGBTQ member of my caucus,” she said in her speech. “Of course I had the honor, but also the responsibility to represent them particularly well, [and] of course all the citizens who trust me and all the citizens of Colombia.”

“Once you are elected, you are elected to represent equally and faithfully all of the people, not only your own people,” added López.

López in 2018 was her party’s candidate to succeed then-President Juan Manuel Santos when he left office. López in 2019 became the first woman and first lesbian elected mayor of Bogotá, the Colombian capital and the country’s largest city.

“This of course speaks incredibly well of my city,” she said in her speech.

López took office on Jan. 1, 2020, less than a month after she married her wife, Colombian Sen. Angélica Lozano. (López was not out when she was elected to the Senate.) Lozano was with López at the Victory Institute conference.

López’s term ended on Dec. 31, 2023. She will return to Colombia once her Advanced Leadership Fellowship at Harvard University ends this month.

“I ended my mayorship,” López told the Blade. “It has been, of course, the honor of my life to be the first female

mayor of my city. It was an absolutely beautiful job, but very challenging.”

“I needed a year of rest, of relaxation, and I was fortunate to receive a Harvard scholarship this year,” she added. López during the interview called for an end to polarization and reiterated her support for democracy.

Former Bogotá Mayor CLAUDIA LÓPEZ, left, with Minneapolis City Councilwoman ANDREA JENKINS at the LGBTQ+ Victory Institute’s International LGBTQ Leaders Conference in D.C. on Dec. 8, 2024. (Washington Blade photo by Michael K. Lavers)

A lesbian president of Colombia?

“We need to listen to each other again, we need to have a coffee with each other again, we need to touch each other’s skin,” she said.

López said parties, candidates, and their political coalitions in Colombia and around the world need to “listen, reconnect, and organize with people” at the grassroots. López also told the Blade there is a “global crisis of democracy.”

“Each country has its own contexts and challenges, but it seems to me that there is a common element there,” she said.

“So, I return to Colombia rested, grateful after a year of reflection, with proposals in mind, but determined to dedicate time to what I consider the most important work for democracy at this time, which is to reconnect from the grassroots,” added López.

‘I know what love and education can do for any person’

López took office less than three months before the COVID-19 pandemic began.

“We were full of hope, ready to go to offer a new social and environmental contract for Bogotá society for the 21st century,” she said. “But a couple of (months) after being sworn into office, the pandemic of COVID-19 came.”

Unemployment and poverty rates soared in Bogotá during the pandemic, and the city’s residents had less access to health care and other basic services.

López noted her administration in response to the pandemic offered scholarships to young people, supported businesses, and increased funding of the city’s social services. López also said her administration implemented Latin America’s first city-based care system for female care givers, and build three more LGBTQ community centers in poor and working-class neighborhoods.

“I know what love and education can do for any person,” she said.

The U.N. Refugee Agency says upwards of three million Venezuelans are now in Colombia.

Then-Colombian President Iván Duque in February 2021 announced Venezuelan migrants who register with the country’s government will be legally recognized.

CONTINUED FROM PAGE 07

Former Bogotá Mayor Gustavo Petro, a former senator who was once a member of the M-19 guerrilla movement that disbanded in the 1990s, succeeded Duque as president on Aug. 7, 2022. Colombia and Venezuela restored diplomatic ties less than a month later.

Venezuela’s National Electoral Council on July 28 declared President Nicolás Maduro the winner of the country’s disputed presidential election. Tamara Adrián, the country’s first transgender congresswoman who ran in the presidential primary earlier this year, are among those who denounced voting irregularities.

WPLG, a South Florida television station, on March 16, 2021, reported López sparked controversy after she told reporters there have been “some very violent acts from Venezuelans.”

“First they murder, and then they steal,” she said. “We need guarantees for Colombians.”

López made the comments after a Venezuelan migrant murdered a Colombian police officer in Bogotá.

“The problem is not migration from Venezuela,” López told the Blade in response to a question about Venezuela. “The problem is authoritarianism in Venezuela and you have to keep the focus on it.”

“The problem is what it is: It is not the migrants, it is in Maduro, it is in the dictatorship, it is in authoritarianism.”

More than 200,000 people died in the war between the Colombian government and the Revolutionary Armed Forces of Colombia that began in 1962.

Santos and the Revolutionary Armed Forces of Colombia Commander Rodrigo “Timochenko” Londoño on Sept 26, 2016, signed an LGBTQ-inclusive peace agreement. Colombian voters a few days later narrowly rejected it a referendum that took place against the backdrop of anti-LGBTQ rhetoric from religious and conservative groups.

Santos and Londoño less than two months later signed a second peace agreement, which also contains LGBTQ-specific references.

López described herself as “a person totally committed to the peace process.” She added, however, she has “a bit of a bad taste in my mouth now that I look back.”

“The peace process with the FARC, which was to demobilize the FARC, period, certainly tried to have and had a

gender focus, of course a diversity focus, a focus on human rights for all victims, and certainly (the) many LGBT victims who had been victims of FARC recruitment, abuse, stigmatization, etc.,” López told the Blade. “So, in some sense, or in many senses, having that gender and diversity perspective was a way of recognizing the victims of our community.”

She noted opponents lied about the LGBTQ-specific provisions “to deceive and delegitimize the peace agreement.”

“It is not about making anything invisible, or even downplaying anything, but rather about being much more strategic in understanding that we do not want our flags and causes to be exposed in a way that ends up being a boomerang for our own community,” López added. “So, I say that is why it is a disappointment, because I think it is a lesson. At least for me, it made me think and it makes me think, and I have said it openly since then, that we have to be much more careful and much more, above all, strategic, in how we raise our flags so that they really do not only have symbolic, but real advances and so that in no case do they become a boomerang against ourselves.”

‘I know how you feel’

López during the interview praised the recent elections of Mexican President Claudia Sheinbaum, Uruguayan Vice President Beatriz Argimón, and other women in Latin America. She also expressed sympathy with LGBTQ Americans who are concerned about the incoming Trump-Vance administration.

“I know how you feel,” said López in her speech. “I’ve been there when we lost the peace referendum in 2016. I’ve been there when three candidates who represented independent, new alternatives in Colombia, and policies were killed by mafia groups in 1990. I’ve been there when a mafia cartel was able to fund and elect a president for all of us. I’ve been there when paramilitary groups were able to support and elect another president in Colombia.”

“I know how obscure and difficult and challenging and painful democratic times are, but we cannot (back) democracy only when we win,” she added. “It’s precisely when things are challenging, when we suffer defeats that are painful, that we need to attach to our democratic and humanistic values and principles.”

AYMAN ECKFORD

is a freelance journalist, and an autistic ADHDer transgender person who understands that they are trans* since they were three years old.

Navigating holidays while estranged from ultra-religious parents

I never regretted decision to separate myself from my family

It will be the fi fth Christmas season I will have as a person who is estranged from their ultra-religious and abusive parents.

I have never seriously regretted my decision to separate from my family, despite it sometimes feeling tough. Well, I regret not seeing my little brother, but all communication with him was controlled by my parents, and without them I was estranged from him as well. I hope he will fi nd me one day, but I didn’t mourn not having my parents near me; it’s more like I’m mourning a perfect family I dreamed about and never actually had.

The holiday season could bring additional toughness for people like me, especially now, when more and more families are broken apart by a political turmoil that shattered and polarized American society after the election. Donald Trump winning the 2024 presidential election is more than just a regular political event; it is a social phenomenon that shows a lot of American trends.

Gen Z and Millennial adults are less likely to become Republicans and Trump supporters than their parents and grandparents who are Baby Boomers, Gen X, or members of the Silent Generation. Of course, it is not universal, because Trump somehow managed to win the hearts of alienated young men, while some Boomers turned left in this election. Not all LGBTQ people are Democrats, but the vast majority of them are.

This year the LGBTQ electorate moved away from Trump even more dramatically than in the previous election. Many young LGBTQ people felt like they were betrayed by the older generation and their cis-hetero peers; LGBTQ youth felt scared, angry, and helpless. Despite the fact that the majority of LGBTQ people are liberals who generally do not support free arms trading, after Trump’s victory, more and more LGBTQ people — and cis/hetero women — bought guns and are learning how to defend themselves. Folks do not feel safe near Trumpists!

You may see what tension exists in society if LGBTQ people need to take such a radical step as arming themselves or cutting family ties. And during the holidays, when our culture pushes families to meet together and makes you believe that there is something deeply wrong with you if you do not want to spend the festive season with your loved ones, this tension could move from streets to houses and could lead to serious problems.

It is particularly tough when we are speaking about conservative religious families that do not accept their queer chil-

dren and siblings. Despite the fact that Christmas has had less religious and more cultural meaning in recent decades, it is still a deeply religious holiday, and so on that day all the religious-based, bigoted, homophobic, transphobic, and biphobic conversations with well-meaning relatives who “just wanted to save your soul” will be more likely to occur. It is especially true for white families. Despite the majority of Black religious people supporting Harris, MAGA supporters are often the white Christian religious people. According to a pre-election Pew Research Center survey, 61 percent of white Protestants were planning to support Trump during the last election, and among them 82 percent were white Evangelicals. NBC News showed a similar statistic, with 72 percent of white Protestants, including 82 percent of white Evangelicals, being Trump supporters.

Some of them even saw Trump as a savior with a divine mission.

I personally knew how it felt because my toxic father was trying to justify Russian military aggression as a divine missi on and promoted Trumpism during our holiday dinners, and it was almost impossible to argue with a person who justifi ed political violence by supernatural means.

You may dread the Christmas season like other folks dread medical procedures, or have a strong but fading hope that the Christmas miracle will occur, and the family will accept you for who you are. Unfortunately, it is not likely to happen, and there are always chances that home could be the most dangerous place.

I wouldn’t advise someone to shun their family because of political or religious beliefs, and I know a lot of cases where people had a good relationship with someone who has completely diff erent beliefs from your own. The fact that someone is voting for Trump or visiting a homophobic conservative church does not automatically make a person dangerous, but if this person is trying to push their views on you and change who you are, it is a big red fl ag. Unfortunately, in our society we used to forgive parents for things we would never forgive any other human being. I had a pretty traumatic experience with it, and I spent years in therapy because of it.

If you are a well-meaning friend of an LGBTQ person who has family problems, the only good thing you may do is to let the person make their own decisions and not press them. Sometimes the home — and the church — is the least safe place in the world, and you may never know what is going on behind closed doors.

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Is Pete Hegseth’s nomination Trump’s sick joke?

GOP senators must reject unqualified Fox News host

Of all of Trump’s problematic Cabinet nominees, Pete Hegseth’s stands out as a sick joke. Unfortunately, if he is confirmed, the joke will be on the world.

Hegseth has ZERO qualifications to be Secretary of Defense. If merely serving in the military (and I thank him for his service in the National Guard) constitutes an acceptable qualification, then millions of veterans are qualified. While so many of them would be better qualified than Hegseth, they are still not qualified simply based on their service, and I think nearly all would agree on that.

The Department of Defense is one of the largest organizations in the world and the most lethal. What is coming out now as people look at Hegseth’s past is he was apparently forced to step down from one small veterans’ rights non-profit based on financial, and other issues. Then there are the issues his mother brought to light when he was in the process of divorcing his second wife, when she sent him an email saying he was a sleazebag all his life when it came to his dealing with women.

Then there are the allegations of excessive drinking from a number of sources, including those who worked with him at Fox News. So, it’s not just one thing, it’s a host of things added to his admission that he was investigated for sexual assault, and then paid off the woman who

made the allegations. Hegseth’s views on the LGBTQ community have been made clear a number of times. GLAAD reported, “such as when he opposed the New York Times’s decision to announce same-sex marriages writing ‘that it was a path to incest and bestiality: At what point does the paper deem a ‘relationship’ unfit for publication? What if we ‘loved’ our sister and wanted to marry her? Or maybe two women at the same time? A 13-year-old? The family dog?”

Were he to be confirmed, we would be the laughing stock of the world. I am pretty confident that there will be at least four Republican senators who will vote against his confirmation, if it’s not withdrawn before a vote. How could Sen. Joni Ernst (R-Iowa) herself a veteran who served overseas during the Iraq war, vote for someone who has said women should not be allowed in combat? Ernst herself is clearly more qualified to hold the position than Hegseth. I am not supporting her, but compared to Hegseth, she is the superior choice. But then most people compared to Hegseth would be better. I see Ernst is now kowtowing to Trump, going as far as saying she is keeping an open mind on Hegseth, but it will be interesting if the FBI investigation comes up with even more negative reports on him.

The Republicans in the Senate are faced with working with Trump. They can go along with every dumb thing

he wants to do, or face his wrath. I am betting there are four senators who will not go along with everything. They will show they have some balls. While I can’t offhand name the four, it is my hope and prayer, they will materialize.

We are living in a weird world where Trump can nominate Tulsi Gabbard as Director of National Intelligence , another nominee with absolutely no qualifications. Her support of deposed Syrian dictator Assad may come back to haunt her. Then there is Trump nominee Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. as Secretary of HHS, with his dangerous views on healthcare. Republicans will somehow have to deal with these nominations and now they have added a new issue. Sen. Mike Lee (R-Utah) tweeted, “It will be my objective to phase out Social Security, to pull it out by the roots.” We will see what the Senate does with that, and what the House of Representatives does with it. We will be looking to see what the views of the person Trump named to head the Social Security Administration, Frank Bisignano, thinks. Let’s hope the Senate committee vetting him will ask detailed questions. Then Mike Johnson, Speaker of the House, hasn’t guaranteed he won’t support some cuts to Social Security.

If Congress cuts either Social Security or Medicare, it just might be the fastest way for Democrats to take back the House in 2026.

GMCLA to perform concert filled with holiday magic and sugar

The Gay Men’s Chorus of Los Angeles heads to the Saban Theatre on 14th and 15th December

When it comes to all-sing-and-dance musical productions, the Gay Men’s Chorus of Los Angeles never fails to pull out all the stops. The festive shows make the Top Twenty LA Holiday Events List annually and 2024 looks to be no exception.

The SugarPlum Fairies Holiday Concert is set to feature “some of the most magical music ever written, filled with sugar plums, rich chocolate, and pure fantasy.”

Audiences can expect the 200-strong chorus to perform 25 songs ranging from iconic Christmas classics to a modern twist on the festive ballet. The Nutcracker’s Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairies and Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory’s Pure Imagination are among the musical repertoire, while Dolly Parton’s Hard Candy Christmas and Sia’s Candy Cane Lane represent the new holiday cohort.

“You’re going to hear some Christina Aguilera, you’re going to hear some old school [songs] from the 60s about candy, and you’re also going to hear some traditional music,” said choreographer, Ray Leeper. “Wonka is really hot right now, so you’re going to hear some of the the old Wonka and from the new movie.”

This year’s Christmas show promises to be a particularly special one, with the group celebrating its 45th anniversary of service and community.

“Everything we do is because of the incredible support we get from our singing members, who have been giving their time, energy, commitment, and activism for over 45 years,” GMCLA Executive Director, Lou Spisto explained.

The chorus continues to garner acclaim for artistic excellence while remaining deeply rooted in its service. For those who don’t know, GMCLA was founded in 1979 in the midst of the country’s gay rights movement.

Members spread a message of love and acceptance, with programs like SugarPlum focusing just as much on social justice as they do show tunes.

“The Gay Men’s Chorus of Los Angeles is well known for great music, great artistry, and great concerts that we do in these major venues around town–but it’s far more than that,” Spisto added.“Each year, we do around 43 events in high schools, community centers, and

hospitals to be with our communities and support them… those who look like us and those who don’t. I’m so proud to say we’ve grown these projects over the last six years.”

Its award-winning school program Alive Music Project has served over 90,000 young people since its inception. AMP also offers an opportunity to enrich each school’s music education program, with Choral students invited to perform with GMCLA at the presentations.

Their Arts for Healing & Justice program provides introductory music classes for incarcerated youth in Los Angeles County’s juvenile correctional system. They join an interdisciplinary collaboration of outstanding organizations, providing exceptional arts programming to build resiliency and wellness, eliminate recidivism, and transform the juvenile justice system.

Concerts such as SugarPlum are helping to raise funds for this vital work on an annual basis. When the chorus isn’t working on ticketed events like their Christmas concert, their yearly free events help to expand community access even further. Past venues include the Hollywood Bowl, Walt Disney Concert Hall, and Pasadena Civic Auditorium.

As for the immediate future, GMCLA’s hope is triumphing over hate. The result of this year’s presidential election is likely to affect California’s LGBTQ+ community in some way, but Spisto is only seeing upsides, not downsides.

One such upside? Using SugarPlum as the perfect opportunity to celebrate Los Angeles’ vibrant queer community for the loud and proud individuals they are.

“It’s an interesting time in our world today. GMCLA has been speaking loudly, singing loudly, and standing up for this community and others for decades, and we’re going to continue to do that,” said Spisto.

SugarPlum Fairies will be at the Saban Theatre, Beverly Hills on December 14 at 8pm and December 15 at 3:30pm. Buy tickets now at https://www.gmcla.org/sugarplumfairies. Prices range from $45-$125. If you want to support the Chorus ongoing educational work, you can make a donation at GMCLA.org/holidaygiving. Eligible donations of $120 or more–or new monthly donations of $10 or more–will receive an official GMCLA Holiday Sweatshirt as a thank-you gift. Donations must be made by December 31st to be eligible.

Gay Men’s Chorus of Los Angeles 2023 Holiday Concert (Photo Courtesy of Gay Men’s Chorus Los Angeles/ Gregory Zabilski)
(Photo Courtesy of Gay Men’s Chorus Los Angeles/ Gregory Zabilski)
(Photo Courtesy of Gay Men’s Chorus Los Angeles/ Gregory Zabilski)

The ultimate guide to queer gift giving Fun

The holidays are an excellent distraction after a difficult election cycle. Instead of churning out endless political memes on social media (really, give it a rest), turn your attention to making memories and exchanging gifts, like these carefully curated selections that’ll lighten the mood, facilitate festiveness, and bring joy to those on your Nice List.

Le Creuset Bread Oven

Honed your sourdough skills during COVID lockdowns? Level ’em up in Le Creuset’s handsome enameled cast-iron bread oven, available in seven of the French manufacturer’s signature ombré hues, for stunning artisan loaves ideal for gifting or your own private gluttony. Make it a meal with Julia Turshen’s Fastest Chicken Noodle Soup recipe from the queer cook’s latest book, “What Goes with What.” $300, Food52.com; $26, Amazon.com

Imogene + Willie Tees/Accessories

Streetwear takes the sophisticated track via imogene + willie’s audacious selection of graphic tees and accessories, like its popular “bolt” in black and increasingly prescient “burn it all” tees, along with accessories that include the standout “bronco” trucker and “dead wrong” knit watch cap. For queers of a certain age (you know who you are), these style-forward mix-ins give edge without looking desperately trendy or – God forbid – completely out of touch (you know who you are, too). $38$68, imogeneandwillie.com

Beekman 1802 Advent Calendar

There’s no place like home when you’ve got Beekman 1802’s luxurious storybook-inspired advent calendar to see you through the holidays, each door revealing one of 24 cult-fave face and beauty products, including 16 full-size bestsellers. Bring the somewhere-over-therainbow sentiment 360 with a few selections from the boys’ “Wicked”-branded lineup, like

and memorable ideas for everyone on your

the Glamorous Gal Bodycare Gift Set or Make Your Own Magic 3-Pack Bar Soap Set, for all the good witches (and bad bitches) in your life. $179, Beekman1802.com

Cedar Ridge The QuintEssential

If you need a drink that packs a punch this holiday season, Cedar Ridge The QuintEssential is the American single-malt whiskey up to the task with its notes of caramel and vanilla combined with a persistent pepperiness that’s H-O-T-T-O-G-O. $60, CedarRidgeDistillery.com

La Boule Dinnerware Set

Villeroy & Boch brings a splash of panache to the home cook’s table with its multicolored, premium porcelain La Boule seven-piece dinnerware sets – in Miami and Memphis styles – which include two stackable regular bowls, two pasta bowls, two plates and one serving tray that form a single nesting round and an artistic conversation piece after the dishes are done. $450, Villeroy-Boch.com

Pasturebird Chicken/“Hot Ones” Season 25 10-pack

Read the reviews for Pasturebird free-range chicken products (five stars across the board, including its holiday-ready party wings), and you’ll be an instant convert – especially after you light ’em up with Heatonist’s “Hot Ones” Season 25 10-pack, featuring flavors like Little Dick’s Ghost Pepper Pear, Pepper North’s Jerk & Scotch Bonnet, and Hot Ones’ own The Last Dab: Xperience, an apropos name for the Pepper X-based sauce with a Scoville Heat Unit rating of over 2.6 million. (For reference, a classic buffalo clocks in at a mere 1,800 SHU.) Santa might be S.O.L. on milk this year. $10-25, Pasturebird.com; $120, Heatonist.com

Pepper Pong Game

Pepper Pong – a 2023 Best New Game winner – is ping pong’s “go-anywhere, do-anything, challenge-anyone cousin… with a mean mullet

list

and pickleball-infused DNA,” according to its website, and that translates to a whole lot of fun for the whole family. $70, PepperPong.com

The EnergyLounger

Need a timeout? You’ll get one with a kickback on the EnergyLounger wellness platform offering cutting-edge, full-body red and near-infrared light therapy sessions designed for relaxation and rejuvenation in the comfort of your own home. Benefits include reduced pain and stiffness, improved blood circulation, and cell regeneration for an experience that’ll take you away when Calgon ain’t cuttin’ it. $7,500-$9,998, EnergyLounger.com

DC Comics Style Guide/Batman DVD set

Pair a reissue of the 1982 DC Comics Style Guide – designed to assist licensees in delivering a consistent look for the brand’s celebrated Super Heroes – with the Batman 85th Anniversary 10-Film Collection, which includes fan-favorite animated classics like “The Killing Joke,” “The Long Halloween,” and “Soul of the Dragon,” among others, for a gift that’ll instantly elevate you to Super Friend. $95, StandardsManual.com; $200, Amazon.com

FinaMill Grinder

Save your knuckles from skin-chewing microplanes and graters with a convenient automated replacement in the rechargeable FinaMill Grinder that allows kitchen whizzes to season with ease thanks to its one-handed click-grind-release technology. Max and Pro Plus pods pulverize everything from cardamom seeds to coffee beans sans blood, sweat or tears, in complementary culinary mill colors that include black, white, red and gray. $100, FinaMill.com

Tom of Finland Duffel

Henry Cavill is a prime candidate for the anatomical embodiment of a Tom of Finland

illustration, and it’s hard not to fantasize about the oversized actor decked out in head-to-toe leather, especially after you cop Loqi’s Tom of Finland Day & Night Recycled Weekender, featuring all-over printed ToF artwork that looks suspiciously like Superman. $40, Loqi.com

Dwayne Chestnut Sunglasses

Did Vontélle sleep on the opp to name its Dwayne Chestnuts flip-up transitioning glasses the Dwayne Waynes, paying homage to the iconic spectacle-shades popularized by Kadeem Hardison on “A Different World”? Perhaps. But slap on a pair of these bad boys and you’ll bring all the early-’90s vibes (and maybe a few Whitleys or Ron Johnsons) to the yard. $189, Vontelle.com

Danish Creamery UCS

Danish Creamery – renowned for its freshchurned European-style butter – offers its branded ugly Christmas sweater that includes a tiny additional sweater to dress up your serving dish, in a twofer that’s both salty and sweet. $80, UglyChristmasSweater.com

Andy Warhol x Absolut Vodka

Art imitates life imitating art in Absolut Vodka’s full-circle Andy Warhol collaboration featuring elements of the pop icon’s overlooked 1985 blue bottle painting, rediscovered in 2020. With colors extracted directly from the original work and made with multi-layer screen printing to create an authentic sensory experience to touch, the spirited 2024 collector’s item also includes a QR code that opens a portal into the world of Warhol and the story behind both brands’ historic and enduring connection, this limited-edition release now among them. $26, ReserveBar.com

(Mikey Rox is an award-winning journalist and LGBTQ lifestyle expert whose work has appeared in more than 100 publications around the world. Connect with Mikey on Instagram @ mikeyroxtravels.)

Daniel Craig shines in raw and romantic ‘Queer’ Drug

abuse, alcohol, sex, and squalor figure in new Guadagnino

In an awards season largely devoid of LGBTQ content, one movie asserts itself as the exception by its very title.

Much-anticipated after its Venice Film Festival premiere, and buoyed by the buzz around star Daniel Craig’s performance and its well-publicized sex scenes, Luca Guadagnino’s “Queer” has begun rolling into theaters. Naturally, queer cinema buffs are eager to see a move from the same filmmaker who delivered “Call Me By Your Name” and its leading man is arguably the sexiest of all the James Bonds – but if you’re expecting a feelgood story about LGBTQ Pride, this adaptation of a novella by famously countercultural “Beat era” writer William S. Burroughs is definitely not it.

Its setting in 1950s Mexico City is enough to let you know that any queerness it presents for us is likely to be furtive, conducted in secrecy and shrouded in a sense of forbidden desire. Against this backdrop, brilliant-but-dissolute American William Lee (Craig) trolls the streets and clubs looking for sex, love, and connection among the other expatriates who gather nightly in the bars that cater to them. When a much-younger ex-Navy man named Eugene (Drew Starkey) catches his eye and seems responsive to his boldbut-clumsy flirtations, he becomes enamored – despite his own insecurities and his uncertainty over whether his new crush is even queer to begin with – and persists in his effort to get close to this much-younger fellow American.

There’s definitely a spark; the two move quickly from being mere drinking companions when an after-bar nightcap at his place turns into a naked overnight stay, and they become de facto lovers, though Eugene continues to maintain an emotional distance. Eventually, Lee proposes a trip together to find a rogue botanist (Leslie Manville) in South America and experiment with ayahuasca; the young man agrees, and the two set off to share an experience that may push the boundaries of their relationship – and their consciousness – further than either of them are prepared to go.

It’s not a particularly “story-oriented” film; the plot flows, almost like a stream of consciousness, through the repetitive patterns of daily existence, moving between concrete reality, jarring memory, and hallucinatory exaltation to approximate an inner narrative rather than propel an outer one. This reflects the similar fluctuation in Burroughs’s writing, but also takes the audience into the subjective experience of Lee – a fictionalized version of the author himself – and allows us to see the threads of consistent meaning that turn the hedonistic blur into a visceral reminder of the intensity with which life often takes place, especially when longing, desire, and loneliness are involved. Ultimately, the adaptation by screenwriter Justin Kuritzkes treats the material almost as a “meta-biopic”

film

of Burroughs himself, a bittersweet and characteristically raw collection of impressionistic memories given narrative structure by the conceit of fiction.

In keeping with that choice, Craig delivers a masterful performance that succeeds in channeling the late author’s uniquely unfiltered personality while never feeling like an attempt at mimicry. The former 007 reminds us of the insightful talent that made him a star even before his run as the iconic super agent, discarding the familiar suave charisma for a nervous awkwardness that underscores Lee’s eternal sense of being an outsider, but conveying with equal clarity the euphoric heights and humiliating lows of his emotional and intellectual landscape. Already the winner of the National Board of Review’s Best Actor prize, it’s a star turn that anchors the film and helps it achieve the homage to Burroughs – an under appreciated pioneer and alternative icon for the queer community, though he reportedly once disowned what was then called the “Gay Rights Movement” by saying “I have never been gay a day in my life and I’m sure as hell not a part of any movement” – that it rightly intends to pay.

As the object of his affections, costar Starkey brings more than just his compelling yet somehow unconventional good looks to the mix. He makes Eugene at once an enigma and a familiar archetype of sensitive-yet-callow youth, a pleasure-seeker able to embrace and delight in the joys of the moment with full authenticity. He has a palpable chemistry with Craig, only enhanced by those much-touted sex scenes (which manage to leave little to the imagination without showing anything explicit) and makes us feel both the deep bond that forms between them and the pang of inevitable loss that comes along with it.

Other strong performances come from Jason Schwartzman (almost unrecognizable in body padding and makeup) as a queer compatriot and confidant of Lee’s, and Manville (also almost unrecognizable under her character’s visual design) as the doctor-turned-shaman who serves as gatekeeper on his quest for psychedelic enlightenment; the always-winning Drew Droege also scores in a memorable supporting turn.

As for the direction, Guadagnino is at his best, guiding the actors through the story with insight and specificity while making sure his film gives them the best visual showcase to deliver it. Beautifully shot in a lush color palette on sumptuously designed sets, and composed with the visual eloquence of a painterly sensibility from start to finish, “Queer” very much evokes the big screen Technicolor aesthetic of the 1950s era in which it takes place, an effect that’s both reinforced by its romanticized international settings and jarringly contrasted by an anachronistic soundtrack that includes not only a distinctly contemporary-sounding score by Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross but numerous songs by artists like Nirvana, Prince, and New Order.

Yet excellent as it is, it’s a film that might disappoint some viewers. Though its name and its primary characters are queer, the “queerness” of the story has ultimately nothing to do with sexuality; for Burroughs, it was perhaps the way he saw through the madness of the world that set him apart from others, that kept him feeling alone in a crowd unless it was made up of the fellow “freaks” who were among his close circle. While “Queer” certainly offers plenty of celebratory, sex-positive scenes of intimacy, conveying a truth that the author knew first-hand, it also goes to the dark side, portraying Burroughs’s Gonzo lifestyle – including explicit scenes of drug use and seemingly endless appetite for alcohol – in all its matter-of-fact squalor. Some commentators have already pointed out the story’s echo of an old narrative trope, a “Death in Venice” style story of an aging gay man lured to despair by an obsession with a beautiful youth. If you’re after positive queer representation – or at least the generally expected kind – you’re not going to find that here, either.

Still, while such things may disturb our assumptions about what queer life - or any type of life, for that matter – is “supposed” to look like, they nevertheless represent a true lived experience, and truth is sometimes just as important as presentation. And “Queer” gives us plenty of beautiful moments, too, offsetting the ugly ones and often even turning them into something beautiful, too. That’s why, while it may not be the kind of inspirational call to arms many of us feel we need right now, it still earns our recommendation as one of the standout films of the year.

DANIEL CRAIG and DREW STARKEY in ‘Queer.’ (Image courtesy A24)

How to rebuild trust after infidelity

If your partner has cheated on you, there are steps you can take to rebuild trust.

You cannot use your partner’s bad behavior to justify your own

Last month’s column featured a letter from someone who had cheated on his boyfriend, and was struggling with the boyfriend’s unwillingness to forgive him despite his contrition. He wondered what he could do to earn back his boyfriend’s trust, and noted that he was feeling increasingly resentful over the nonstop scrutiny and contempt.

My reply in a nutshell: If you’ve stepped out of your relationship, and want to do better going forward, the main person whose trust you need to earn is your own. Figure out your own standards (with input from your partner, of course) to be a boyfriend who deserves his partner’s trust, and live up to those standards. Strive to honor your partner’s requests to demonstrate your trustworthiness, but when doing so comes at too high a cost to your self-respect or your affection for your partner, you may need to set a boundary.

Now I’d like to address the other side of this dilemma. If you’ve been cheated on, what can you do to build a trusting and loving relationship with your partner, going forward? Here’s what I would say to the boyfriend.

For starters: You’re in a tough spot. It’s natural and understandable to be hurt, heartbroken, and furious with your partner. But if you want to have a loving relationship with this guy going forward, you are going to have to find a way to not let these feelings run your show for too long. As is true for your partner, the person whose trust you most need to earn is you. Can you get better at paying attention, going forward, to any signs that your partner is stepping out of the relationship? Did you miss any hints

that something was amiss? Were you ignoring data about your partner’s behavior and character?

You can’t go too far in either direction here. On the one hand, ignoring your “spidey sense” that something’s wrong is a terrible idea. On the other hand, ongoing scrutiny and interrogations create an imbalanced relationship and often lead to your partner wanting to get away with things. That’s just a natural consequence of being constantly watched.

A big part of your work is to determine if your partner is sincere in his desire to be honest going forward and devote himself to building the same kind of relationship that you want to build. This means assessing your partner’s character: Do you have a clear read on his values, and do you respect them? Can you get a good sense of whether he is just telling you what you want to hear in order to stay in the relationship, or being honest about where he really stands?

You can never know for sure. You can only do your best to see your partner and your relationship accurately. One thing is certain, though. If you are going to be in a close relationship, you must accept that you are going to be vulnerable to heartbreak. In any long relationship, partners do at times hurt each other, sometimes intentionally, sometimes unintentionally. There is no way around this.

Of course, that doesn’t mean you must stay with someone who cheated on you. You get to decide whom you want to be with, what is not forgivable, and when you do not want to forgive.

If you decide that you have good reason to stay, you will have to develop your ability to calm yourself when it feels like something might be wrong and you are starting to freak out. Remember, your alarm system is likely on high alert after having been betrayed, which means you may easily panic when something might be amiss.

So when your partner doesn’t show up when he said he would, or doesn’t reply to a text or answer his phone, take a moment to quiet your mind — perhaps by taking some slow deep breaths, perhaps simply by reminding yourself that your judgment may be “off” right now — and not rush into accusations or a downward spiral.

Every time you are able to make this move, you will be strengthening your ability to remain calm and thoughtful under very tough circumstances. That is a great skill to have in all arenas of life.

One more point: If you want to be angry or walk around feeling like your partner owes you for the rest of your existence, you might as well end the relationship, because you’ll never have a loving relationship under those conditions. You cannot use your partner’s bad behavior to justify your own bad behavior. For a relationship to succeed, each partner must strive to be someone worth being in a relationship with.

(Michael Radkowsky, Psy.D. is a licensed psychologist who works with couples and individuals in D.C. He can be found online at michaelradkowsky.com. All identifying information has been changed for reasons of confidentiality. Have a question? Send it to michael@michaelradkowsky.com.)

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