Zine 3

Page 1



A

letter from

me

Zine number three...and you’re here...finally...and I made you pay for it this time...which I hope means that you are enjoying these as much as I am. I attempted to explain it in the first editor’s letter but here it is again: I am an overthinker, I have a lot of thoughts in a day. I’m sure we all do. For me, it means I think up lots of ideas and possibilities and concepts to ponder, but rarely do I finish those thoughts. Until recently I didn’t think I had anything I wanted to share. I liked posting on instagram because it allowed me to share my feelings and show people they weren’t alone but I rarely ever share definitive thoughts there. But now it is a few years later and I have thoughts I want to share, advice that I think could genuinely help a few. So that’s what the zine is for. It’s for writing down my ideas and sharing long form content with you instead of just rambling around in circles like I normally do on my Instagram stories. I always wanted to monetise the zine but it was difficult to find a platform that was right for me and in hindsight I’m glad that the first two escaped into the world for free because your response was incredible and I am very grateful for that. However, with the time and effort that I have been putting into these, 20+ hours per zine, I don’t feel too bad asking for a small sum in return. I hope you can understand this. I don’t have much to say except that this is my favourite zine so far and I hope you can appreciate the difference too. It feels juicy (haha), like it contains some real content and advice. And I don’t think that is just because it is longer than the last two. This one took me a while to write because I wanted in to be something I was really proud of but I think I got there in the end. As before I will make an instagram post where you can leave your thoughts and I cannot wait to read them. Your conversation means the world to me. Enjoy. With lots and lots of love, Louise xxx

%nlml A Letter from me Quotes for 2019 100 Hours of Study Your 100 Hours Photos A Note on Closure I’m Done With the Word Motivation Goodbye to louisedoeslife 3.0 Happiness is a Skill The Science of Happiness Did I enjoy first year?


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100 Hours of

Study

I first started my instagram, at that time called @procrastination.sucks, because I wanted to complete the 100 Days of Productivity Challenge and I wanted an easy way to track and record the journey. Upon completing it, I decided to keep going with my instagram account because I had grown to love it, but I also wanted a similar challenge to complete, just one that wasn’t quite so big. I figured that one step down from a day was an hour and so I decided to try to complete 100 hours of studying instead, and I created a printable to help me, and anyone else who wanted to take on the challenge, track their progress. However, what I didn’t realise until later, is that what makes this challenge so great is that the more you work, the faster you get this challenge done. It is almost like your effort is rewarded, unlike with the 100 Days of Productivity Challenge where the end date is fixed. And since then you guys have given this challenge a life of it’s own, something that is much bigger than just me or my account, and you have no idea how amazing that is. I hope that people continue to use this resource as long as they find it valuable; I know that I have certainly not completed my last grid. How does the printable work: It’s super simple. You colour in one square everytime you complete an hour of studying and you see how long it takes you to fill the whole grid. The tally section at the bottom allows you to keep track of how you are dividing your time by using tally marks.

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your

photos

One of the things that makes the 100 hours printable so special is all of your photos which I see on Instagram. I have created a gallery online where you can view my favourites but here’s a small sample to give you an idea of how amazing this community is. If you want to share your own 100 hours photos don’t forget to use the hashtag, #100hoursofstudy and tag me.

@studybirds

@iustasnapshotintomylifeaewril.eitjessica @studyamigo

@ilvysstudieer

@chemistryand madness

@ life of -

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mama

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Go to louisedoeslife.wixsite.com/louisedoeslife/printables-your-photos to see more!


Closure You are entitled to closure. In fact when a project or a goal or a relationship has run its course, and you feel yourself clinging on, I encourage you find it. If something is causing you more strain than good, then it is probably time to put a lid on that box. However, and the reason why I am writing this, is because you are not entitled to draw another person into your journey to find closure. This is something I see so many people doing, especially when it comes to relationships (platonic as well as romantic) and it is not fair to demand anything of another person, let alone to put strain on them by bringing up old topics and asking questions they may not even have answers to.

Find closure for yourself. Journal until you are raw. Ask yourself why it did not work out the way you had hoped. Listen to song about letting go. Write them a letter that you will never send. Find your own answers to the questions that are tearing you apart. If you ask an ex to meet you for coffee to talk things over, and they say no, you have no right to force them. They are their own person with a whole life and brain of their own and you are not entitled to anything from them. Moreover, they are unlikely to be able to give you true closure. More often than not, closure is something ONLY YOU can find for yourself. It is a journey you must walk yourself, or at least with just a best friend in tow.

The second thought I wanted to share on the subject of closure is that healing takes time but maybe time isn't the healer it’s cracked out to be. A couple of years ago I found a song called ‘Save You’ by Turin Brakes, and it felt like a saving grace. The line ‘time will save you, you don’t need to save yourself’ filled me with a lot of hope that things would get better even if I didn’t see how that was possible at the time. But I have changed my mind. It was not time that saved me. It was the therapy and the journaling and the introspection and the talking to friends and the long walks listening to slow songs.


I am an overthinker and I can tell you that it has taken me years, in the past, to stop dwelling on people and goals that are no longer in my life. And so yes, the healing took time, but it was not the time that saved me. Do not avoid your problems and hope they will dissolve, they will not. Find closure. Actively seek it, even it takes time. And when you have found your closure, put that into a box instead of the problem or the grief.

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I think we all have past relationships and failed ambitions that we will never forget, they make us who we are and they make us wiser and stronger; but ďŹ nding closure will allow them to feel like peaceful stepping stones or the building blocks that we stand upon instead of overwhelming shadows.

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To me, this is minimalism. Letting go of the past and simplifying your lines of thought helps you to lead a more peaceful and present life as it clears space in your brain and relieves you of burdening emotions. In conclusion: Find closure. Find it for yourself. Allow it time but seek it too. And when you feel at peace, walk forwards into your life feeling inspired rather than burdened. You got this kiddo. I believe in you.

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with the word motivation

I'm

I’m done with the word motivation. It can go in the trash. The number of DMs and comments I see of people complaining that they have no motivation is just getting exhausting if I’m honest.

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Everyone always asks me how to stay motivated or how to study and it’s always annoying because I don’t want to be rude but it’s not possible for me to hand you the secrets to productivity in a less than 100 word response. But I can’t blame people for sending these, because I was the one in that position in a few years ago, searching tumblr for the perfect textpost that would hand me the secrets to life...but...it doesn’t exist. I’m sorry. And it’s okay if it takes you awhile to process that, it took me a while too. It’s okay. Instead of letting it scare you, let it liberate you. It just means that there is no perfect cure or one size fits all solution, meaning you can choose whichever answer you like. However, what I have figured out about motivation is as follows: Firstly, long term motivation is great. I’m pursuing a difficult engineering degree because I want that accolade for myself, because I want the knowledge, because I want to help make the world a better place and because I want a good career. All of those are factors that motivated me to enrol in this course.


Secondly, those factors do not get me out of bed at 7 am in the morning (okay may a tiny weeny bit but its very tiny weeny). What gets me out of bed is either looking forward to the day, obligations or habits. Stop focusing on motivation and focus on those instead. Here are my suggestions for how to do that: How to look forward to the day: 1. If you have the privilege to, pursue a career you love. I believe you only get one life and while there is no such thing as a job so good you while never work another of your life, there is such a thing as a job you are excited to get out bed for. 2. Find small ways to love your life and small things to look forward to in your day. Read fiction books on the bus or walk to school/work listening to your favourite podcast or band. Schedule a workout session into your day if you enjoy that. Pack yourself a tasty lunch everyday. 3. Most relevant to studygram, find ways to love studying/working. This is still something I’m working on so I dont have much advice to offer but I can definitely recommend watching a youtube video called ‘How to actually ENJOY the Process of Studying?’ by Ruby Granger. 4. Make plans!! I love having plans in my diary for a few weeks or months in advance. They give me something to look forward to even on days when my life feels very mundane and full of drudergy. 5. Surround yourself by friends. My course friends are currently my favourite thing about university. Between me and you, sometimes I go to lectures just for the socialising. They make lectures enjoyable and hanging out in the evenings without having to worry about work or being smart is only better. Why you should make obligations for yourself: Some people will probably argue against this but we are not always motivated to do things. People are often lazy and choose the path of least resistance, including me. I don’t often wake up wanting to solve difficult engineering problems even though I know I will feel proud at the end, so I signed up for a degree that forces me to do it. Enrol in a course. Sign up for regular volunteering. Book extra curricular classes and experiences. Having no choice but to get out of bed is probably the best motivation you will find. Those five minutes of motivation when you enrolled are now getting you out of bed for six months. And there’s not shame in that. That’s brilliant! At the end of the day, you are still the one that enrolled. Build Habits: I’m not sure how many self help books you’ve read but habits are everything. Doing something because it is a habit has been seen to be so much more effective than doing it because you feel inspired or motivated. Motivation often comes and goes in waves, whereas the key to habits is consistency. Your brain will also becomes accustomed to complete these tasks and they will feel a lot less difficult. This feeds into the idea of the paths of least resistance that I was telling you about. Completing a habit, requires a lot less willpower than completing a different task, even one that you feel motivated to do. You have to just do it! Do it because it’s on your to do list. Do it because you don’t want to have to cram the night before the deadline. Stop overthinking it. So, there are my thoughts on motivation and my suggestions for what you can do to enjoy your life and work effectively without even having to worry about whether you feel motivated or not. Motivation might help you in the long run, but it is not going to sit you down in the library and tell you to study. Your habit tracker and your boss will.


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3 O .

And with saying goodbye, to my first university bedroom and desk, I therefore had to say goodbye to my Instagram feed. It’s the third major “feed design” I have had but it is probably my favourite because it felt original and unique while still being neat and colourful and consistent. Over the summer I will by reverting to my previous layout for posting but I am excited to see how my feed turns out once I move into my new bedroom in September. Dear louisedoeslife 3.0, you served me well and you will be deeply missed.


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Happiness

is

a

skill

In my second term at university I enrolled in an extracurricular module called ‘The Science of Happiness’. It was a psychology module about wellness and how to be happier, based on psychological studies. There were no assignments and we were not expected to take any notes. We simply had a one hour lecture once a week and we met in small groups to discuss the content and our thoughts. As much as my friends teased me that it was silly, it was one of the best extra curricular things that I did. I had already learnt lots about wellness and mindfulness owing to my interests in minimalism and journaling but this course has seemed to solidify a lot of those ideas for me. Most of the advice was obvious: sleep more, meditate, journal, exercise regularly, go outside. But one phrase keeps going around in my mind: “Happiness is a skill, and like other skills it can be learnt and practiced.” It’s one of those quotes that you have to sit with for a while, and then, once you’ve processed it, it’s even a bit disheartening at first. It means that, A) there is no magical cure and it’s going to take work on your own part, and B) you could have been happy all these years despite your circumstances. However, like the motivation realisation, once you realise this, you have the power to make yourself happier. The more I learn about life, the more I realise that nothing is easy, it’s either tedious or challenging. But life can be simple. These days I source a lot of my happiness from just appreciating nature and this earth and the wonderful people that I am surrounded by. I no longer believe that a balanced life is 50% good and 50% bad. I believe that life can be 90% good if you really try, because it is all about perspective. As cringey as it sounds, you can choose to look at difficult situations positively. I am not there currently, because it will take discipline and practice, but I am getting there. I feel the most at peace with life as I ever have done. Happiness is also achieved by having the discipline to carry out the habits that make you happy and prevent you from feeling low. This is where the sleep and exercise come in. But the point that I wanted to make, is that happiness is a skill and no matter your circumstances, you can choose to act in ways that will make you happier. As tough as this love is, you should either stop complaining (don’t choose this option), or you should put in the time and effort to educate yourself on the science of happiness and create the self discipline to act in ways that will make you happier (do choose this option). And the icing on the cake, is that once you see the impact they can have, simple habits will not be difficult to complete at all because their worth while far outweigh their cost.


The

science

of Happiness

So, I hear you ask, you say we have the power to be happier...BUT HOW!? Well, my friend, I am not an expert on the science of happiness. I wish I had some book recommendations for you, but reading up on the science of happiness is still on my to do list I’m afraid. So I’m going to give you the next best thing I can, my top 10 tips on how to be happier: (Most of this, I have learnt either from The Minimalists talking about minimalism or from the Science of Happiness Course that I enrolled in at university) 1. Exercise regularly. Obvious I know, but psychological studies have suggested that regular exercise can be as effective as antidepressants. So, tough love rearing its ugly head again, get over yourself, schedule regular exercise, and as Nike say, just do it. I am still guilty of slacking for weeks (months) at a time but I cannot tell you how much more noticeably happy I am when I am exercising regularly. 2. Sleep Well. This is one I am an expert at. 8 hours of sleep a day or I don’t function properly. You may be able to function on less sleep, but it is unlikely that you are functioning at your full potential. Find ways to sleep easier and get some rest, for me if I am struggling, I will ensure that my room is as dark as possible and I will listen to a podcast on a low volume until I fall asleep. (I use the sleep timer so that it does not play all night, and I’m usually asleep before 15 minutes has expired) 3. Be more social. And with the right people. Back to the studies, humans are sociable animals and both causal interactions such as saying hello to people on the train and deeper interactions such as conversations with friends have been shown to significantly increase our happiness. So, as reluctant as you may seem if you are an introvert like me, be more sociable. I cannot tell you have many times I have felt like I cannot be ‘bothered’ to go to a party, but once I am there and surrounded by friends, I am laughing loudly and feel warm in my heart and I am hugely grateful that I chose to attend. The second part to this is to choose the right people. Socialising with people that I do not naturally get on with does little for me, so make the effort to find people that you connect with and organise to hang out with them instead. That is where you will find the gold. 4. Journal. I haven’t heard of any proof that journaling is beneficial but it has changed my life for the best in the last 18 months. I don’t journal regularly, but I SHOULD if I want to be happier. This is what I mean when I say that we have the power. For me journalling allows me to be introspective and think about questions in a constructive way, instead of just daydreaming about them and having them circle around my head without ever reaching answers. I have set the rule that no one else is allowed to read my journal without my permission and that I have no obligation to share it in real life or on the internet. This allows me to think and write unfiltered, because sometimes you have to write down ugly or wrong thoughts before you reach the one you are content with and I don’t want those held against me just because I wrote them down when they would not have left another person’s head.


5. Gratitude. It’s cheesy and I bet you are rolling your eyes but having gratitude for your life really will make a difference. For me this means appreciating all the things that are going right in my life, even when it feels like the important things are going wrong. The reason this makes such a difference is because we can often take the good things for granted, often the good things are the everyday mundane things, but in the last couple of years I have truly come to appreciate my family and my health and this miracle of a planet. And even when I am really stressed, I still feel good about life at my core most of the time, and that makes all the difference. If you are unsure of how to practice this, I would recommend keeping a gratitude journal where you list three things that you are grateful for each day. 6. Minimalism. There are entire books written on Minimalism so I can’t express the benefits or the how or the why in one paragraph but...minimalism is the practice of removing the physical and emotional clutter from your life so that can put more energy into the things you really care about. It also helps you to stop using shopping as a pacifier or to gain short term happiness and if you are buying less then you potentially need to work less to support your lifestyle and you will be able to spend more time doing the things that bring you happiness instead. 7. Be productive. In Mark Mansons’ ‘The Subtle of Art of Not Giving a F*ck’ he suggests that instead of happiness and success lying beyond the obstacles in our life, instead they lie in the overcoming of our obstacles. Therefore he suggests that we will feel the most fulfilled when we are constantly completing goals, instead of believe that one set of goals will leave us eternally happy. 8. Go outside. I don’t really understand the science behind it but an hour lying on the grass in the sunshine does incredible things for my mood. I cannot deny it any longer. I’m done pretending to be a grumpy teen (in this instance at least). I really enjoy just sitting in the sunshine and if that’s lame, I don’t care. (One resource that I can suggest is that Professor Laurie Santos’ Yale course entitled ‘Psychology and the Good Life’ from which the course at Bristol was derived, is now available online)


Did I enjoy

gist

year

?

Everyone seems to think that I was really struggling in my first term at university. When I came home at christmas, my family expressed that they had been very concerned about me at times. But this all seemed very silly to me. I always knew the first term was going to be difficult for me because new things make me anxious, and university meant new people, new places and new tasks all at once. But when I came home at christmas I was really proud of myself, for every time I had achieved, or at least found the courage to have a go at. And second term? Second term was a dream. I’m sure that is down to the rose tinted glasses of hindsight but we had a slightly nicer timetable, I knew my way around the city, I felt able to relax instead of constantly feeling like I should be doing something, I became closer to my coursemates and we socialised a lot more often, and again, I was faced with challenges and I was proud when I overcame them. Third term was definitely the most peaceful in that I felt a lot more like my old self again and I felt like I could just exist without erring on the side of caution in everything I did. This term was dominated by exams but I started revising early and I didn’t find it too stressful in the end, instead it just became more of a boring, repetitive slog in the end. And yes, I’m glossing over things that made me cry my eyes out, but I feel good about life. For the first time I want time to slow down instead of speed up, I cannot believe I’ve already completed one quarter of my university experience. I don’t know if that’s because I’m learning how to practice being happy or if it’s because I get to live in an awesome city and so far university has been less stressful overall than sixth form. It’s probably a combination of the two. The point that I am trying to make, is that as much as I complain sometimes, and sometimes university isn’t everything I want it to be, I’m pretty happy with how this year panned out. And I’m very excited about September. That doesn’t mean it won’t be without it’s challenges but there are so many positives that I’m looking forward to and I’m secretly looking forward to pushing myself to overcome those challenges as well. (I realise, I could have given a much more in depth account of my year, but this was the main point that I wanted to make. Feel free to reach out to me if you have more specific questions about my university experience.)



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