MHC-201 FULL TEXT

Successful coaching: What makes it unique and essential skills.

Georgia Shaffer, M.A.

Summary In this lecture, the speaker defines the field of life coaching and discusses the key differences between life coaching and counseling. The line has become blurrier; so, it is important clarify the difference. The differences are the motivation, the time-frame, focus, and necessary qualifications. Both coaching and counseling are valuable. It is important to help someone make an informed decision on which services would be best for them.

The speaker will also go through the top 7 essential skills important for successful coaching. The most important coaching skill is building a trusting relationship with your client. A coach who is honest, encouraging and genuine makes the biggest difference. One of the biggest mistakes a coach can make is to be more focused on tools and techniques rather than on the client relationship. It is also important to establish a clear agreement, communicate effectively, create awareness in the client, pose powerful questions, design actions and manage the progress of the client.

Learning Objectives: 1. Participants will define the field of life coaching 2. Participants will learn the differences between life coaching and counseling 3. Participants will learn the seven essential skills for life coaching.

4. Participants will learn the importance of building a trusting relationship with the client.

5. Participants will look at the value of active listening and tailoring techniques to an individual client.

I.

Introduction A. What is a Life Coach?

1. Definition: Life coaches partner with the client, enabling them to focus on different areas of growth B. What do Life Coaches do?

1. As life coaches partner with a client, they: •

Identify natural strengths, skills and talents

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Assess personality

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Look at the passions that drive a client, and what they deeply care about

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Try to maximize those strengths

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Look at how to reach goals

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Listen and support

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Hold the client accountable for actions

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Encourage and point out self-sabotaging mindset

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Recognize and celebrate progress

2. Where is the client now and where do they want to go?

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This partnership helps fill the gap

3. There are many different coaches •

Transition coaches

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Marriage

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Parenting

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Leadership

4. Coaching is NOT a diluted form of counseling

II.

Differences between Coaching and Counseling A. Motivation

1. Clients who need counseling are motivated by pain 2. Clients who want coaching and motivated by reaching their potential

B. Time-Frame 1. Therapy focuses on the past 2. Coaching focuses on the future

C. Focus 1. The focus in therapy is on solving problems and treating disorders 2. The focus in coaching is on possibilities or options •

The focus is on a client’s strengths

D. Education and Qualifications 1. Counselors must have a degree and be licensed •

There hare regulations and standards they must adhere to

2. Coaches have no specific education required •

III.

They are not governed by any licensing board

Seven Essential Skills for Life Coaching A. Building a trusting relationship with the client 1. This is the most important skill 2. Create an environment where the client feels safe, comfortable and at ease

B. Establishing a clear agreement 1. Be very specific in the contract •

Cost

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How coaching differs from therapy

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Time commitment

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Cancellation policy

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Limits of confidentiality

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Biblical worldview

C. Communicating effectively 1. Involves active listening •

What are the client’s concerns and agenda

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What would be most helpful

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What is the client saying/not saying

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Is the client hearing what they are saying

D. Creating awareness in the client 1. Helping the client be self-aware •

Hearing the energy or heaviness when the client speaks

E. Posing powerful questions 1. Ask questions that cause the client to stop and think •

Gain new insight or perspective

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Open-ended questions are best

F. Designing actions 1. Help the client brainstorm opportunities

G. Managing the progress 1. Keep the client accountable •

Follow through on what the client said they would do and how they would do it.

Creating a Safe Place: Listening, Empathy, and Winning Trust

John Thomas, Ph.D.

Summary The speaker goes through how to create a safe place for clients as a Christian counselor. The Bible talks about the importance of listening and being present with one another in order to love and serve. He looks at 4 assumptions related to counseling, listening to the heart of God as well as active listening to clients, and how to build trust through empathy. Hurting people are looking for something that satisfies, and what God offers is the only thing that truly satisfied.

Counselors must intentionally stay connected to Christ as His apprentices.

Learning Objectives: 1. Participants will look at 4 assumptions related to counseling.

2. Participants will learn how to apply active listening skills.

3. Participants will learn how to build trust with a client.

I.

4 Assumptions related to Counseling A. Hurting people are looking for something that satisfies 1. Isaiah 55 is a message for everyone and it is critical to find something to ultimately satisfy your life • We thirst • We are penniless • We hunger 2. Seek God and He will have mercy on us 3. Empirically Supported Treatments – God’s way is best and is evidence based • His ways work 100% of the time to completely satisfy, bring joy and peace B. We are Apprentices to Christ 1. We are trained in His ways to do what He would do 2. A counselor is Christ-incarnate for their clients 3. We need the Holy Spirit for everything C. We must intentionally stay connected with Christ 1. Through prayer, sensitivity to the Spirit and the Word of God D. Christ stayed in connection to the Father 1. Don’t let what is urgent replace what is best 2. Listen to the Heart of God

II.

Apply Active Listening Skills A. What is Active Listening?

1. Try to understand the experience of another person and be there for them without trying to fix the problem •

Do not assume you know what they mean

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Sit squarely with them

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Lean forward

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Eye contact

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Be relaxed

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Friendly expression

B. Limit asking questions 1. Types of questions: •

Open- ended

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Closed

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Indirect (Tell me more about that, Help me understand what you mean)

C. Demonstrate authentic empathy 1. Grace space – the area you offer clients to say you are not judgmental or disappointed 2. When listening, avoid saying: •

I know how you feel

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I can imagine that would be difficult

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I went through that too

D. Mirror back content and feelings 1. Many people do not know what they are feeling 2. Reflect back feelings to help clients go into their emotions 3. People make many decisions based on what they feel 4. Learn feeling words

III.

Building Trust A. Things that build trust 1. Active listening 2. Genuine empathy 3. Making client feel safe B. It is easy to offent a client, so responding well and quickly is critical C. How much self-disclosure?

1. Do not say much about yourself in the first few sessions unless the Holy Spirit leads 2. Do not make it about you 3. Give just enough D. The heart of fellowship of the Christian life is being there for another who is struggling E. Receive comfort from God and then give it out

Relationships and Communication: Core Coaching Skills Catherine Hart Weber, Ph.D.

Summary Some of the core skills for the coaching profession are the same as the counseling profession: building a relationship and learning to effectively communicate with the client. Establishing connection and trust in the coaching relationship is foundationally vital to a successful relationship. Coaches must be self-aware and recognize their personality contributions in the counseling relationship in order to create a trusting atmosphere. Listening is a vital aspect to coaching, just as in counseling, and must be coupled with appropriate inquiry. Dr. Catherine Hart Weber helps you develop the core skills of building rapport, listening, and other foundational techniques.

Learning Objectives

1. Participants will explore the foundations of the coaching relationship and the importance of trust and connection.

2. Participants will discuss how a coach’s personality, values, and character play a vital role in the coaching relationship.

3. Participants will discuss the importance of transformational communication in the coaching relationship and how listening and inquiry lead to healthy change.

I.

Foundation to the Coaching Relationship: A. Importance of Trust: 1. Boundaries: role as a Coach, what you are and what you are not

2. Ethics: policies, procedures, informed consent, forms, confidentiality protocol

B. Creating a Connection: 1. Authenticity—Being real

2. Transparency—Sharing your journey

3. Presence—Notice what is going on in the moment

View Vignette with Katie Brazelton and Sylvia Frejd

II.

The Coaching Presence: “The Person of the Coach”—What You Bring to the Relationship A. Who you are with the client and the impression you establish

B. Spontaneity

C. Humor

D. Being confident and comfortable with strong emotions

Discovery Questions Set # 1: How are you at relating to others? What have you been told by family and friends about your ability to establish relationships?

Discovery Question #2: What strengths, qualities and characteristics do you bring?

III.

Transformational Communication and Conversation A. Levels of Listening 1. Active Listening:

2. Soulful Listening:

3. Reflective Listening:

4. Spiritual Listening:

View Vignette with Katie Brazelton and Sylvia Frejd

Discovery Question Set #3: How are you at basic communication skills? How are you at listening?

B. Inquiry: Key: Use Open-ended questions as much as possible. Open-ended questions will bring exploration!

1. Powerful, Creative, Probing Questions:

2. Examining Questions: 3. Brainstorming Questions:

IV.

Support and Accountability for Growth and Change: A. Coaching as a support system for change: 1. With support, coaching, and accountability from someone who believes in us, we can do far more than we have ever accomplished alone. A coach helps you stay on track, overcome obstacles and convert your “want to” into concrete steps.

View Vignette of Katie Brazelton and Sylvia Frejd

B. Creating Self-Awareness: 1. Helping the client to discover who they are—values, purpose, goals, dreams, strengths, talents, gifts

2. Utilize Questioning, Assessments, Inventories

3. Utilize Goal Setting and Planning

The foundation of the coaching relationship is established before the first meeting within the person of the Coach!

Helping Others Find Significance in Life

Jared Pingleton, Psy.D.

Summary We will study how to help others find meaning, purpose and significance in life. This lesson explores the false beliefs, dysfunctional behavioral patterns and multi-generationally perpetuated fears that cripple many people and keep them from experiencing abundant life and fulfilling relationships. The speaker provides both clinical and Scriptural insights on how to help clients uncover and change the unhealthy beliefs that fuel negative thoughts and behaviors. The speaker will discuss justification, sanctification, propitiation and regeneration in development of mature Christian identity.

Learning Objectives: 1. Participants will be able to articulate the differences between a Biblically healthy sense of identity and a humanistic one.

2. Participants will investigate the root causes of dysfunction including behaviors, emotions, thoughts and core beliefs.

3. Participants will be able to understand and apply solutions to false, destructive and unhealthy beliefs in order to help clients experience transformation, redemption and significance in life and formulate a Biblically healthy identity.

I.

Differences between a Humanistic and Biblical Identity A. Dysfunctional humanistic identity 1.

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3.

4.

Who I am is based on performance Who I am is based on meeting certain standards Who I am is based on earning the approval of others Result: • Sinful human identity • Fear • Shame • Hiding 5. Hiding leads to the subconscious defense mechanism of projecting an image rather than who we truly are B. Biblical healthy identity 1. 10 Scriptural bases for our identity

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3.

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5.

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• God designed you in his image and likeness, pinnacle of creation • God will always love you unconditionally • God is always with you • God will always forgive you when you ask • God does not condemn you • God has miraculously transformed you into a new creation • God has marvelous plan for your life • God knows and is greater than your pain • God is stronger than your adversary • God is comforting, compassionate, merciful, gracious and redemptive Not about self-worth, but God-worth God’s definition of who we are should fuel our thoughts and create behavior Not WHO we are but WHOSE we are Result: • Unconditional love of God • Sacrificial atonement of Christ • Indwelling guidance of the Holy Spirit The Truth will set you free

II.

False Beliefs and God’s Solutions A. Key insights from Attachment Theory 1. Attachment and bonding in infancy is crucial to the formulation of our identity 2. Identity is formed exclusively through relationship 3. Relational difficulties result in fear, doubt, insecurity and anxiety B. Performance-based identity 1. The false belief that I must meet certain standards in order to feel ok about myself 2. Fear of failure 3. All about doing and not being 4. Directly or indirectly imposed by legalistic theology, society or relationships 5. Emotional indicators: •

Shame – intrinsic belief that I am flawed constitutionally

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Anxiety

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Guilt

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Anger/ Resentment

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Perfectionism – preoccupied with never making a mistake

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Risk-avoidance – lack of follow-through and alienated relationships

6. God’s Solution: Justification •

We are complete in Christ, and fully pleaseing to God

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Christ died for us while we were still sinners

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This free gift cannot be earned, deserved, or paid for

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Our response: Humility and gratitude

C. Fear of rejection 1. The false belief that I must have the approval of significant others to feel good about myself 2. Emotional indicators: •

Shame

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People-pleasing

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Co-dependency

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Sense of withdrawal and isolation

3. Scripture talks about the incalculable value of the soul •

The pearl of great price illustration

4. God’s Solution: Reconciliation •

We have an unbroken connection with God through the blood of Jesus

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God now sees us as perfect

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We are reconciled back to God and fully approved

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We are accepted and have fellowship with God forever

D. Fear of condemnation 1. The false belief that those who fail are unworthy of love and deserve punishment 2. Emotional indicators: •

Self-depricating talk

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Play blame-game

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Self-induced sense of punishment

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Bitterness and unforgiveness

3. Condemnation vs Conviction 4. Punishment vs Discipline •

Punishment

Discipline

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Atone for sinful past

Look to future to build character

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Focus on identity

Focus on behavior

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Motivation – anger

Motivation – love

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Fear/rejection

Acceptance/approval

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No way out

Leads to restoration

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Comes from Satan

Comes from Spirit

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Result – compliance/rebellion

Result – obedience

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Depression/fear/anxiety

Growth out of security/peace

5. God’s Solution: Propitiation •

Definition: to satisfy the just wrath of someone who has been unjustly wronged

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Sin must be paid for and through Christ we are completely forgiven

E. Fear of not being understood or accepted 1. The false belief that no one understands or accepts me 2. Emotional indicators: •

People insulate and feel lonely

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Sense of hopelessness

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Isolate and withdraw from others

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Self-pity, victim mentality

3. God’s Solution: Regeneration •

Jesus came in the flesh to identify and empathize with us

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We are a new creation

4. Contract vs Covenant

III.

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Contract

Covenant

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Egocentric

Heterocentric

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Mistrust

Trust

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Conditional

Unconditional

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Mutual

Unilateral

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Selfish

Altruistic

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Temporary

Permanent

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Legalistic

Spiritual

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Static

Dynamic

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Based on negativity

Based on God’s positiveness

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Adversarial tone

Advocational

Conclusion A. Whatever past is not transformed becomes transferred 1. You are destined to live our history unless you change it B. As a Christian caregiver, you can help people see Who, What and How they are based on what God says 1. Bring them truth

2. See how God would help them deal with their fears

The Power of Encouragement: A Key to Hope Coaching

John Thomas, Ph.D.

Summary We will look at how powerful encouragement is and its important role in life coaching. The Bible offers many passages on the power of the tongue, the importance of words and how Christians are to pursue encouraging one another. Encouragement can bring about transformation and give hope. This lesson discusses core emotions, core motivation, and core strategies to look at in the coaching relationship. The speaker also touches on what an encourager looks like and what the outcome of encouragement is.

Learning Objectives: 1. Participants will look at what encouragement is and its powerful role in life coaching.

2. Participants will learn about looking for core emotions, core motivation and core strategies in the coaching relationship.

3. Participants will learn how to encourage, what an encourager looks like, and the outcome of encouragement in the coaching environment.

I.

The Power of Encouragement

A. What is Encouragement?

1. To inspire with courage, spirit or confidence 2. To stimulate by assistance or approval 3. To promote, advance or foster B. Biblical Encouragement 1. Greek word “parakleto” • To be called alongside • Used for Holy Spirit C. What is not encouragement?

1. Compliments 2. Praise 3. Mixed messages D. The Power of Encouragement 1. Words are powerful and important 2. Words reflect righteousness 3. Words reflect relationship 4. Verbal and non-verbal need to be congruent 5. Words have impact and affect emotion 6. You can help someone see possibilities in themselves they might not realize 7. Encouragement increases productivity and morale, research shows E. Christian Encouragement 1. Stir one another up to do good works 2. Speak words that edify, lift up, give grace 3. Encourage the faint-hearted 4. Continue encouraging others 5. Comfort others with the comfort that you receive from God

II.

Critical Core

A. A look at Genesis 3 1. After Adam sinned, he said “I was afraid because I was naked and so I hid myself” B. Core Emotion

1. Adam’s core emotion was Fear 2. Adam’s vulnerability was far more than modesty, something in his soul was exposed 3. Fear can grip your soul C. Core Motivation 1. Adam’s core motivation was Shame 2. Innocence was lost and something deep was exposed 3. The realization that something is wrong with me deep in my core 4. Fear of awareness, fear of being unacceptable, fear of rejection 5. Fear is like cancer cells that multiply and can come back even stronger D. Core Strategies 1. Adam’s core strategy or defense mechanism was to hide 2. The fig leaves he used to cover himself were inadequate 3. People seek many strategies like money, fame, addiction, even religion 4. Satan uses many strategies to keep people in shame and hiding

III.

What does Encouragement look like and how do we do it?

A. How do we encourage?

1. The ministry of presence • About relationship • Earning the right to speak into a client’s life • Ministry reveals something about God • Ministry is providing truth, instruction and comfort where needed B. What does an encourager look like?

1. Practical, meeting basic needs 2. Involves risk taking 3. Committed to the task 4. Available 5. Patient C. Biblical example 1. Barnabas, co-minister of Paul who gave his cousin Mark a second chance at ministry D. What is the outcome of encouragement?

1. Mark grew into an incredible Christian, wrote the gospel of Mark, because Barnabas refused to give up on him, offered life transforming encouragement E. Who is your encourager?

1. We all need someone who will love, not judge, give grace space, give hope and not give up on you

Getting Unstuck: The Road to Healing and Recovery

David Jenkins, Psy.D.

Summary The road to recovery is a journey. We must clean out an infected heart, renew the mind with godly precepts, and take action for healing and renewal. In this lesson we will look at the key principles to help people get unstuck on the road to recovery. People often just need a little push to help them get back on track. The Bible offers many examples of healing that remind us to remember that the recovery journey is a process and not an overnight transformation. The speaker also goes through important habits to develop while going through the process of change and transformation.

Learning Objectives: 1. Participants will look at the key principles to help people get unstuck on the road to recovery.

2. Participants will recognize that the healing journey is a process and look at Biblical examples.

3. Participants will learn good habits for the process of change and transformation.

I.

Key Principles to Help People Get Unstuck

A. Recognizing and Admitting 1. The role of confession and breaking the power of the secret 2. The secret is generally fueled by shame 3. 1 John 1:9, James 5:16 4. Stage model of change, trans-theoretical • pre-contemplation, contemplation, preparation, action, maintenance, termination or looping • recycling and relapse along the way 5. Overuse of the term Denial • maybe in pre-contemplation not denial • maybe haven’t been given place to realize change needs to occur B. Freeing up Emotions 1. People get many hurts along the way, infection deep within a wound 2. Not pleasant experience, must clean out the wound for deep healing 3. Grieving is a loss of hope or sense of self C. Renewing the Mind 1. The role of truth and breaking the power of unbelief • The Truth is what sets us free • Be transformed by the renewing of your mind D. Exercising the Will 1. Breaking the power of fear 2. Many fears are not based in reality

II.

The Journey is a Process

A. It is important to remember the journey is a process, not immediate B. The Bible offers many examples 1. The story of Naman the leper • prophet Elisha prescribes healing that infuriated Naman • Naman had to participate in his own healing and didn’t like the journey • servants respected their master enough to speak truth to him about healing process

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God’s healing is dependent on us but we have to walk road of healing and recovery, take accountability, we don’t have to have it all together but we have to be faithful 2. Paul • Paul begged the Lord 3 times that the “thorn in his flesh”, the “messenger of Satan tormenting him” might be taken away • God chose not to heal him, but for Paul’s good and for Christ’s sake • healing doesn’t look like what we want, Paul realized in his weaknesses, he became strong because of Christ’s power in him C. Stand in the Lord 1. Be strong in the Lord knowing it is He who sustains you 2. Have a secure relationship with God 3. Become peaceful respite in people’s lives 4. Run the race, fight the good fight to orient ourselves and continue on the journey

III.

Habits for Change and Transformation

A. Answers God gives 1. Now 2. Wait 3. But regardless, in any circumstance, do not be afraid • Live by faith, not by sight, not by fear B. Biblical examples 1. Jairus and his dying 12-year-old daughter • Trying to get to Jesus, but he must wait • Jesus heals the daughter after she had died 2. Woman with the issue of blood • Healed immediately as she touches Jesus C. Become Vessels of Honor 1. Commit ourselves to move in godly direction 2. May we be patient D. Let God do the Work 1. Phil. 1:6 2. There are certain things we are responsible for, and certain things God is responsible for

3. Have complete confidence in Christ, not legalistic perfectionism

The Incredible Power of Intentional Listening

Eric Scalise, Ph.D., LPC, LMFT Ken Nichols, Psy.D.

Summary The incredible power of listening is a treasure chest that predicts the success and the outcome of a therapeutic relationship. Knowing how and when and appropriately to apply the truth reveals the importance of wisdom and discernment. In this lesson, the speakers look at specific skills and techniques required for effective listening, as well as the barriers to effective listening, considering how listening in the counseling setting differs from interpersonal conversations. It is valuable for counselors to be aware of the differences in communication between men and women.

Learning Objectives: 1. Participants will look at specific skills and techniques to effective listening in the counseling setting.

2. Participants will look at some differences between men and women in the way they listen and communicate.

3. Participants will learn some of the barriers to effective, intentional listening.

I.

Introduction

A. Intentional listening 1. Listening is an active process • It is not passive 2. The best listeners make the best counselors 3. Listening invites clients to talk and share 4. It is critical to establishing a trusting relationship B. Listening as a therapist is substantially different than listening in a conversation C. The Bible talks a lot about communication 1. 70% of what the Bible teaches about talking is negative • Many warnings about the tongue

II.

Differences between Men and Women

A. It is important to look at these differences when listening to a client’s story in the counseling setting B. Men and women are created biologically different 1. Testosterone flooding occurs in male fetuses during the 7th week of gestation 2. Women have 40-50% more connective tissue in corpus collosum 3. Men tend to operate more on one hemisphere of the brain or the other C. Men tend to think more vertically, women think more horizontally D. Men think more independence and separateness, Women think more dependence and interconnectedness E. Women speak twice as many words F. Men tend to spell love s-e-x, women tend to spell love t-a-l-k

III.

Barriers and Aspects of Communication A. There are bad habits or barriers in communicating in interpersonal relationships that do not work in the counseling setting 1. Finish someone else’s thought 2. Mind getting ahead of the conversation, anticipating and assuming responses

3. Interrupting 4. Emotion getting in the way, red-flag listening 5. Fact listening- sometimes counselors think that it is critical to get every bit of information but the emotion behind the words is missed 6. Speaker-centered listening – distracted by appearance, smell, voice of client

B. Aspects of Communication 1. Message 2. Mood 3. Meaning 4. A counselor must listen with eyes, ears and spirit 5. Listening is about the story • Sending, processing, and receiving a message • Communication can break down at any point in the process 6. Meanings and interpretations of words can widely vary 7. It is a gift when someone meaningfully listens to you and understands what you say 8. Only about 7% communication is verbal, 55% is non-verbal, 38% is tone of voice

IV.

Skills and Techniques for Intentional Listening

A. Content and Process 1. General guideline for deep listening, there is no rush to action • This is a patient process • Metaphor – standing still for a few minutes with a client instead of running forward with great speed 2. Silence is a tool for non-verbal communication • A moment of silence can be a valuable source of information about a client 3. Wisdom is not agreement but helping person understand our position so we can have a dialogue

B. Critical Skills of Verbal Affirmation 1. Clarification • Conveys to the client you have an interest in what they are saying

• Encourage and motivate a client to continue sharing • Tells the client “you matter” • Nod head, “uh-huh” 2. Paraphrasing/Restating • shows listening and understanding the facts/content • Broadens the scope of the communication and interaction • Helps client relax 3. Reflection • giving back to client not just content of the story, but getting the emotional content between the lines • There is something phenomenally powerful about the dynamic when a counselor combines paraphrasing with reflecting, client will feel “you get it”, feel validated 4. Summarization • Brings everything into a nice package • Gives closure and a plan for the next session • Reinforces the direction that the counseling relationship is taking and the counseling goals

S

Understanding Our Differences: Personalities and Coping

Jesse Gill, Psy.D.

Summary As a mental health coach, understanding how different personalities confront and cope with difficult situations is extremely helpful when communications are strained under the overwhelming weight of challenges. In this lesson, we will look at an overview of personalities and coping, as well as the 11 different personality types, and the power of attachment. The power attachment is important to know to not only take care of clients but also counselors and caretakers.

Learning Objectives: 1. Participants will learn to accurately identify the personality styles of clients.

2. Participants will understand how a client’s personality style affects the way they deal with difficult circumstances in life.

3. Participants will practice personal reflection and planning for the coaching process.

I.

Personality Overview

A. Personality Style 1. Personality Style - The characteristic way that a person approaches connection with others, views him or herself, and exercises control in problem situations.

B. Personality Theory over time 1. From bodily humors to neurotransmitters in the brain 2. Humors: Choleric, Sanguine, Melancholy, Phlegmatic C. What makes up our personality?

1. 2 components • Temperament (genetic and in utero influences) • Attachment experiences (early childhood bonding) D. Coach’s point of intervention 1. There is not much you can do about your clients' temperament, but there is much you can do to understand and interact with their attachment approach.

II.

The Personality Styles

A. Personality Continuum 1. Modern personality theorists see these traits on a continuum, ranging from mild distinguishing features, all the way to relationally problematic/damaging 2. Someone is not totally in 1 box 3. Personality disorders are extremes with substantial blind spot 4. Clients with a healthy foundation of Secure Attachment will have mild distinguishing features. They may not even be seeking your assistance.

5. Clients with moderate to extreme may actually have a personality disorder and may be seeking assistance in crisis.

B. 11 Personality Styles 1. Personality Styles • Derived from the DSM-5 • Ranging from Not Seeking Help at all, to being extremely Conflicted and demanding about seeking Help

2. The Lone Rangers •

Adventurous/Antisocial (the personality style/the disorder)-- No felt need for others, Opportunistic, humans as pawns.

• Eccentric/Schizotypal –Humans are deeply confusing, More comfortable in Imagination • Solitary/Schizoid- Humans are overwhelming or messy, Most comfortable alone • Sensitive/Avoidant—Humans are critical and rejecting, I am afraid to let others see me • Conscientious/Compulsive—Humans are disorderly. I'll order things and focus on tasks.

3. Clinging Protesters • Serious/Depressive—Eeyore. Humans won't care about me. Why bother to even try?

• Devoted/Dependent—Humans will notice me if I act in pleasing or helpless ways.

• Dramatic/Histrionic—Humans won't notice me unless I make dramatic bids for attention.

• Self-Confident/Narcissistic—Humans should admire me. I'll dominate and control them.

4. Trauma Drama Troupe • Mercurial/Borderline—Humans might be there for me, might harm me, or might abandon me. I'll cling, or attack, or withdraw. “I hate you. Please don't leave.”

• Vigilant/Paranoid—Humans are dangerous. I'll strike out at them before they can get me.

III.

Attachment Theory Overview

Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone” --Genesis 2:18 (NIV)

A. Attachment –the tangible experience of love 1. Meets our most basic need to know that “we are not alone” 2. Helps us to regulate and co-regulate our nervous systems so that we can be comforted and see things more wisely B. 3 Ingredients that build secure attachment – “Face to Face – TV” 1. Face to Face gazing 2. Touch which is tender 3. Vulnerable sharing of emotions

4. Securely Attached children: • Will be trusting and confident in reaching out for help in times of need • They will not fear abandonment • They will be able to explore the inner and outer worlds.

C. 4 Kinds of Attachment - the characteristic way in which a person approaches other humans for help as sources of support, counsel, and connection. It also influences how available a person is to the needs of others.

1. Secure Attachment – “The Vulnerable Confident Ones” • Vulnerable with trusted others in times of need and able to explore their internal world • These clients are easier to care for, due to self-awareness and ability to trust.

• Won't have personality disorders, though they will have personality features.

2. Detached Avoiders – “The Lone Rangers” • These clients are insecure, having concluded that no one will really be there for them. They tend to “go it alone.” It's a lonely life.

• These clients can be highly efficient, due to self demands. Risk for burnout.

• Focus is inward-- “It's up to me”. Shame and Fear about asking for needs.

3. Ambivalent Protesters – “Clinging Protesters” • These clients are insecure, owing to an internal fear of being abandoned • They may be critical, controlling, clingy, or demanding of others—especially in times of need. They can have strong personalities and influence people • Their focus is outward-- “Others need to change or adapt, so I can be okay” 4. Traumatic Attachment – “Trauma Drama Troupe” • These clients are re-enacting the pain and fear of their childhoods where the caregivers who should be trustworthy, were frightening or the source of harm.

• Every vulnerable interaction brings the potential for connection or harm, so these clients are continually thrust into patterns of protest, despair, and avoidance.

• Focus is outward, inward, or disengaged altogether (Freeze)

IV.

Applying the Three Building Blocks of Secure Attachment with Clients A. How to apply the 3 building blocks in a coaching session 1. Face to Face gazing-- attend to your client and help them feel noticed and valued.

2. Touch-- While you can't physically hold them, you can tenderly hold their emotional experience and help them feel emotionally contained vs. overwhelmed. You hold and support each disclosure.

3. Vulnerable sharing of emotions—Relax your own breathing. Slow things down.

Gently draw out clients who are ashamed. Set limits on counterproductive protest behaviors. Be present to the pain. Help clients be present to the pain.

B. Specific applications based on the attachment needs 1. Secure Attachment

• Due to their vulnerable and self-aware approach, you can apply ingredients in a straightforward collaborative manner to help clients work through their pain and towards their goals.

2. Detached Avoiders - “Lone Rangers”

• Gently let them know you see them, without overwhelming them.

• Patiently reassure them that it's safe to share their needs and wise to lean on others.

• Break down needs sharing into smaller steps which are manageable.

• Don't flood them with too much emotional intensity, but warmly reinforce how honored you feel by each thing they share.

• Build their support network.

3. Ambivalent Protesters - “Clinging Protesters”

• Soothe their fears of abandonment through extra attention and reassurance.

• Notice and interrupt protest controlling or demanding behaviors in order to draw out the more vulnerable fear and hurt

• Grieve with them for ways they may feel misunderstood • Lead them towards more gentle ways of sharing their needs which will draw others to them vs. pushing away 4. Traumatic Attachment—“Trauma Drama Troupe”

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Invite them to share their story currently and from childhood, to see if they have awareness about ways that they were traumatized and may still be reexperiencing

• • • • •

Work with their stated goals, moving quite slowly in the process of building trust.

Slow down if they seem overwhelmed Don't personalize it if they move into Fight or Flight modes with you Kindly set limits on such Protests by anchoring them to the here and now If their re-experiencing is interfering too much with the coaching process, consider a referral to a trauma specialist.

V.

Caring for Your Own Attachment Needs A. Which attachment type best describes you?

1. Most people helpers have our own wounds which lead us to this kind of work 2. There are online quizzes to assess your Adult Attachment B. Assess Triggers – client patterns and process that are especially challenging 1. Are you triggered by clingy needy clients? eg. You have less patience for their needs because you had to be self reliant as a child.

2. Are you triggered by protesting clients? eg. You get anxious to fix things if a client is angry or activated vs. containing their emotion and sitting with the pain.

3. Do you feel abandonment panic when talking to very avoidant clients (clients who don't give you much to work with emotionally)?

C. Anchor yourself to the Perfect Love of God 1. Feeling Avoidant or Overwhelmed • “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you...” Isaiah 43:2 (NIV) 2. Feeling Abandoned • “He will never leave or forsake you” --Deuteronomy 31:6.

3. Regulate your breathing to a calm state when anxious 4. Straighten your spine when you feel like shutting down 5. Envision what our loving heavenly Father would say to you even as you are ministering to others • “The eternal God is your refuge, And underneath are the everlasting arms...”

Deuteronomy 33:27 (NKJV)

How to Help People Change

Gary Sibcy, Ph.D.

Abstract Counselors not only need to know what to do in a session, but also how to accomplish identified goals. This session describes six essential ingredients related to change including safety, emotional containment and enhancement, client education, restructuring, and engagement. It explores concepts that need to be addressed from the counselor’s perspective and articulates the spiritual components of helping people change.

Learning Objectives 1. Participants will identify the six essential ingredients in helping people change.

2. Participants will explore how to promote safety within the therapeutic alliance.

3. Participants will be able to articulate the spiritual aspects of helping people change.

I.

Six Ingredients: Art and Science A. Counseling as compared to cooking a good soup 1. Know the essential ingredients.

2. Know how the ingredients interact with and complement each other.

3. Know how the ingredients may behave differently each time you use them.

4. A good soup is more than the sum of its parts.

5. You can have all the good ingredients together, but that does not make the soup. The art is the way you cook it, the process involved in blending the ingredients together.

B. The Work of Holy Spirit 1. Examine your heart and ask God, am I called to do this work?

2. God often uses those who have been wounded.

•

If we learn from our past and allow God to heal us, He can use that in a very powerful way.

3. God will work all things for the good of those who are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28).

4. Your reliance on God and sensitivity to the Spirit are essential.

•

This requires wisdom and sensitivity, and it is an ongoing growth process.

5. Counselors must take care of themselves (work, relationships, ability to have fun).

II.

Safety A. Fostering a Therapeutic Alliance 1. This is the number one predictor of effective counseling outcomes.

2. Therapeutic alliance includes nurturing collaboration and exploring the client’s story.

B. Creating a “Safety Zone” 1. If your client does not feel emotionally safe, he/she will likely not open up to you.

2. Safety is not just something you develop upfront; you must continue to nurture a safety zone throughout therapy.

C. Information Gathering, Assessment, Diagnosis, and Goal Setting 1. Counselors should gather specific information to make an accurate diagnosis.

2. Determine the different diagnostic categories and comorbidities.

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Comorbidity, or the co-occurrence of disorders, is more often the norm rather than the exception.

3. Information gathering leads to treatment planning and goal setting.

D. Structuring Sessions 1. Agenda Setting: What is it that we are going to work on in-session?

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Agenda setting is not just for therapy

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Agenda setting helps people move to specificity

2. Specificity allows clients to break down problems from global, negative, transsituational descriptions into more specific and concrete problems.

3. Situation Analysis is part of specificity and information gathering.

•

Situational Analysis includes the ability to self-monitor and determine the following: Where were you?

What were you thinking?

What were you feeling?

What was your body feeling like?

What were you doing?

How did you try to cope with the situations?

What made it worse? What made it better?

How did it eventually resolve itself?

4. Creating a Sense of Hope

III.

•

Helping clients to understand their problems fosters a sense of hope.

•

Asking the right kinds of questions helps build hope into the client.

•

Reflective listening to questions also builds credibility with the client.

Education A. Psychoeducation 1. Involves conveying relevant information to clients about the problems they are struggling with

2. Creates the context for how you can help them

B. Behavioral Activation 1. How a client activates him/herself out of a depressed mood and into motivation

2. Teaching clients about their thinking patterns sets the groundwork for helping them understand why and how you can go about helping them.

C. Learning New Skills 1. This depends on the problem the client is struggling with.

2. No one skill set solves all problems, but these skills may include •

How to calm down

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Distress tolerance skills

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Emotion regulation skills

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Interpersonal effectiveness skills

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How to deal with difficult relationship skills

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How to engage in social problem solving

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Collaborative problem solving

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Impulse control training

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Behavioral activations

D. Spiritual Disciplines 1. Involves reading Scripture, praying, meditating, fasting, and solitude and will enhance the client’s closeness to God

2. Spiritual practices may also help to solve the problem he or she is struggling with.

E. Neuroempathy 1. Allows clients to understand their problems in light of underlying neurocircuitry

2. There is a difference between the mind and brain. You are not your brain.

3. The mind has the capacity to be aware of thoughts. But, you are also not your thoughts.

4. Your thoughts are produced automatically by your brain. Crazy thoughts do not make you crazy.

5. Just because you think a thought does not make it true and does not mean you believe it.

6. Your mind can choose to observe, and not necessarily believe, these thoughts.

7. Reality testing is what therapists can do to help clients make the distinctions between their thoughts and reality.

IV.

Containment A. Containment is an extension of the safety construct.

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B. Containment creates a balance between enhancing emotional activation and emotion regulation.

1. All good therapy increases the experience of negative affect, but at the same time teaches clients to regulate emotions.

2. Emotional activation is challenging clients. When we help to calm clients down, that is support.

C. The Therapeutic Window 1. Teaching skills in the context of emotions, but also activating some of the implicit beliefs that people hold about themselves, the world, and others

2. Change occurs with emotional activation.

3. Counseling is the process of modifying old schemas.

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D. Dealing With Therapeutic Ruptures 1. Challenging without supporting can lead to a therapeutic rupture; supporting without challenging can lead to stagnation and lack of growth.

2. How you help clients deal with their emotions is crucial. Many clients have cut themselves off from their feelings or been the victim of their feelings. When they come into therapy, many do not know how to manage emotions in a healthy way.

V.

Understanding A. Helping Clients Engage in Narrative Repair 1. Narrative Repair is helping people better understand the stories of their lives.

2. Therapists should help clients link current patterns of thinking, relating, and communicating with previous experiences.

3. This also includes helping clients understand how they got to where they are.

B. Cognitive Behavioral Analysis of Systems Therapy 1. A therapy that focuses on doing a significant-other history with a client

2. This includes asking the client about the major players in his/her life, their affect on the client today, and the stamp left on the client’s life from those people.

C. Interpersonal Relationships and Patterns 1. Part of Narrative Repair is helping people understand the impact of their interpersonal behavior.

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2. Relationships are transactional: What you do affects me, and what I do affects you.

3. Old patterns may be true reflections of what went on in the past. These may have been adaptive patterns of relating to people that worked previously. However, these maladaptive patterns are not working now and they have a negative effect on the client’s present life.

4. We want clients to appreciate the consequences of their interpersonal and intrapersonal behavior.

VI.

Restructuring A. Schema Reconstruction 1. A schema is a pattern of thinking, feeling, relating, and communicating that is stored in the brain implicitly.

2. Once a schema is activated, it basically has its own life, allowing one to do things automatically without having to think about them.

3. Schema Reconstruction involves helping clients understand their personal narrative in light of God’s redemptive story in their lives.

B. Experiments and New Patterns 1. Counselors should help clients learn to engage in personal experiments that generate new data that may unfreeze negative and rigid beliefs—both in and out of session.

2. This process also involves practicing new patterns of relating to others.

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3. Counselors should teach clients how to foster forgiveness both of others and of themselves.

VII. Engagement A. Therapeutic engagement can be used throughout counseling in order to prevent, address, and overcome resistance.

B. Dealing with Therapeutic Resistance 1. Process Resistance •

When clients resist doing things in therapy because the process of getting well is “too hard”, they don’t want to have to go through it, or they don’t think it is worth it

•

Counselors should use acceptance when they face resistance from clients.

2. Outcome Resistance •

When clients resist doing things in therapy because getting well has implications that they don’t want to face.

•

When this occurs, counselors should use the Paradoxical Cost-Benefit Analysis technique, looking at both the benefits and costs of change.

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Doing Brief, Solution-focused Counseling for Christ

Jared Pingleton, Psy.D.

Summary We will look at growth-oriented brief therapy, which is a newer model of counseling that is conducted typically in 3-12 sessions and has become a popular approach in the field of counseling. According to recent research, short-term therapy is often just as effective as longterm therapy, particularly when the short-term the therapy is solution-focused and applied with a clear plan and with direct techniques. The lesson will discuss the process of brief therapy and key principles that make up this model as it applies to Christian counseling.

Learning Objectives: 1. Participants will be able to understand what brief therapy is all about, what it includes, and the differences between brief and long-term therapy.

2. Participants will be able to use growth-focused brief therapy concepts including looking for exceptions, understanding scaling questions and how to ask the miracle question.

3. Participants will be able to help clients formulate appropriate goals for their life or their problems using brief counseling methodologies.

I.

Overview of Growth-focused Brief Therapy

A. The model for brief therapy encourages the optimal potential of personal growth for each client rather than problem-focused or quick-fix solutions B. When a counseling model is growth focused rather than problem-focused clients develop the ability to continue to grow even after their sessions have been discontinued C. Basic assumptions of the growth-oriented brief therapy approach: 1. This model is intended for primarily normal individuals, which are experiencing typical spiritual emotional and relationship adjustment problems. It is not best suited for persons or relationships with severe and or chronic psychopathology 2. This model presumes the client is both capable of and motivated to heal, change and grow 3. This model can be applied by many different caring and compassionate persons who do not necessarily possess many years of specialized training and or clinical experience D. History 1. Brief therapy began in response to an increasing criticism of and dissatisfaction with more traditional models of long-term psychotherapy which are very complex and difficult to empirically research their outcome or effectiveness 2. The brief therapy model has gained increasing acceptance when third-party payers began implementing curtailed benefits for ongoing outpatient psychotherapy 3. This model generated extensive empirical research, giving them best practices validation

II.

10 Key Differences between Brief Therapy and Long-term Therapy

A. Brief therapy has a positive orientation as it emphasizes strengths and successes versus a more pathological orientation

B. Brief therapy is short-term (3-12 sessions), whereas long-term therapy is open-ended C. Short-term approaches are future-oriented, whereas most longer-term approaches are more focused on the past D. Brief therapy approach has very specific objectives (goal-oriented, clear and concrete), whereas in long-term therapy the goals are more ambiguous E. Brief therapy has a specific set of techniques applied vs a more global and generalized approach F. Brief therapy focuses directly on solutions rather than identifying unresolved conflicts, pain or past trauma G. Brief therapy has a very clear and direct treatment plan, whereas long-term therapy approaches the open-ended ongoing journey H. Brief therapy looks at the present current symptoms rather than past causation or root issues I. In brief therapy, there is a clear responsibility on the part of the client for accomplishing their own goals whereas in traditional therapy it is more client vs expert J. In brief therapy, there is a reduction in dependency dynamics, whereas long-term therapy is more complex, intensifying the dependency dynamics and looking at transference and countertransference phenomena

III.

The growth-oriented brief therapy approach

A. Generalizations 1. Brief therapy focuses on problems •

it is the problem that motivates and precipitates a person coming for help

2. There is a clear focus on solutions and problem-solving •

Not focused on looking back but on looking forward

•

To understand the issue offers clarification to the client on what they are dealing with

3. There is a focus on growth B. Concepts 1. Therapy integrated with the Biblical worldview •

Scripture about transformation (Isaiah 43:18-19, Eph. 4:22-24, 2 Cor. 5:17)

2. This model is easily replicable •

Can easily conduct research to measure outcomes to see if the client improves through the therapy process

3. Spiritual formation about the counselor is crucial •

Understanding who believers are in Christ must precede what they attempt to do for Christ

C. Key Underlying Presumptions of Growth-oriented Brief Therapy 1. All people are created in the image and likeness of God 2. We have incalculable value, but we have all fallen short of the glory of God 3. The most effective treatment takes into account the whole person – soul, mind, emotions, relationships 4. Different approaches can be helpful with different kinds of people, not cookie-cutter 5. Growth is optional, though change is inevitable 6. Even small changes can be significant, complex problems do not always require complex solutions 7. People bring many resources into the counseling session •

Draw them out and mirror them back

•

Build on client’s strengths rather than dwell on weaknesses

8. Problems are clarified, people aren’t cured 9. People are not limited by their lack of abilities, but by their lack of vision 10. Failure can be a way to learn 11. “If it ain’t broken, don’t try to fix it” 12. Attitude of self-examination, perspective shift

D. Significant conceptual shifts from long-term to brief therapy 1. Move from past to present 2. Move from change to growth 3. Move from weaknesses to strengths 4. Move from excuses to exceptions 5. Move from problems to possibilities

IV.

What does it look like to do Brief Therapy?

A. Pre-session goals to achieve before the first session 1. Instill hope 2. Plant seed for growth vs problem-orientation 3. Encouragement B. Distinctions between Brief and Long-term therapy in the first session 1. Explain and clarify ethical boundaries and limitations of confidentiality and mandated reporting 2. Assess pre-session growth •

Any changes between the first call and the first session?

3. What was the precipitating factor that made you seek therapy?

4. Clarify what constitutes the criteria for success •

This will inform the treatment plan

5. Catalogue strengths and resources 6. Determine where they are spiritually 7. Ask about previous counseling experiences? What was helpful/unhelpful?

8. History of the problem 9. Take thorough family and medical history 10. Substance abuse history 11. Identify suicidality or homicidality

C. Growth-focused interventions 1. Exception questions •

Help client see blind spots

•

Look for the times the problem did not present itself when it could have

2. Scaling questions •

Put things on 1-10 scale

3. Miracle question •

Inspires hope

•

“Suppose”

•

How would the client know a miracle had occurred and the problem is gone?

D. Goals need to be: 1. Specific 2. Achievable 3. Positive 4. Measurable E. What to do in session 2 of therapy: 1. Look for positives and ways to encourage hope and change 2. Try to reduce fear, fortify strength, encourage new changes, normalize difficulties 3. Review and if necessary, revise goals with client F. What to do in sessions 3-12: 1. Continue to support positive change 2. Set time limitation on the counseling process 3. If necessary, make referral to a specialist

Dynamic Small Groups and Spiritual Care Teams in Church-based Counseling

Elias Moitinho, PhD, LPC-S, LPC, LMFT

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Summary A church community is to operate like an organic “body” with each component part actively making a contribution to the whole. Counselors can help clients find hope in a created, yet very real, person-to-person group encounter that paves the way for ongoing involvement in genuine Christian community. Soul care involves nurturing and healing, both of which can be accomplished in small pastoral care groups, which, at the same time, facilitate the discipleship process.

Learning Objectives: By the end of this lesson, students will: 1. Explain a biblical foundation for group work and the potential that group counseling offers for contemporary pastoral care and ministry.

2. Identify elements of a proposal for a support group within the church that links an identified need with group methods.

3. Describe principles of group dynamics and group leadership skills to bring significant healing to individuals.

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Session 1 – Learning Objective 1 Introduction Many churches use small groups to teach the Bible, reach people and minister to their needs.

Besides the traditional Bible study groups, church have used support groups, accountability groups, and recovery groups to name a few. All these groups can be a powerful adjunctive method to not only support the preaching and teaching of God’s Word, but also to help in the application of Scriptures in people’s lives and to promote pastoral care in the church.

I.

Introduction

1. A Biblical Foundation that Provides Support for Group Work A. We Were Created for Relationships - Gen. 2:18

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The Principle of Love - Matt. 22:37-39; Ex. 20:3-8; Ex. 20:12-17

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The Principle of Influence - Gal. 5:22-23; Matt. 5:23-24; 1 Pet. 3:7

B. The Body of Christ and Small Groups By interacting with others in small groups, people can create meaningful connections, influence and be influenced by one another in a positive way, express God’s love and grace toward each other, and experience healing and growth. This is powerful indeed.

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2. The Benefits of Group Work and The ABC’s of Group Work

A = Acceptance is practiced

B = Brings people together

C = Creates connections

D= Deals with real life issues

E= Establishes accountability

F = Fosters growth and change

3. The Focus of Group

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A. Upward

B. Inward

C. Outward

4. Curative Factors or Healing Factors in Groups (Yalom)

A. Instillation of hope

B. Universality

C. Group Cohesiveness

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D. Imparting of Information

E. Altruism

F. Interpersonal Learning

Conclusion

Session 2 - Learning Objective 2

1. Types of Groups

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A. Psychoeducational Groups

B. Counseling Groups

C. Support Groups or Self-Help Groups

2. Leader Functions (Stephen Greggo)

A. Executive Function

B. Caring

C. Emotional Stimulation

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D. Meaning Attribution

E. Psychological Safety

3. Nuts and Bolts of Setting Up a Group in Your Church

A.

Assess the Needs and Develop a Rationale for the Group

B.

Set the Group Goal(s)

C.

Determine Potential Participants

D.

Create the Group Structure

E.

Determine the Group Leader

F.

Plan the Group Sessions 8

G.

Promote the Group

H.

Evaluate the Group Work

Conclusion

Session 3 - Learning Objective 3

1. Content and Process

2. Stages of Group Development (Gerald Corey)

A. PreGroup

B. Initial stage

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C. Transition stage

D. Working stage

E. Final Stage

F. Postgroup issues

3. Essential Skills

A. Active Listening - Prov. 18:13

a. Paraphrasing

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b. Reflecting Feelings

c. Reflecting Meaning

d. Summarizing

B. Asking Open-Ended questions

C. Facilitating

D. Giving Feedback

E. Blocking

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5. Session Structure (Stephen Greggo)

A. Summarize recent sessions.

B. Establish a “check-in” routine.

C. Focus on a theme, concern, or struggle.

D. Find out who has work to do.

E. Invite interaction but avoid “advising.”

F. Capture the theme or critical moments.

G. Let the members care, challenge, and grow.

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Conclusion

References Corey, G. (2016). Theory and practice of group counseling. 9th ed. Belmont, CA: Brooks/Cole, Cengage Learning.

Forsyth, D. (2014). Group dynamics. 6th ed. Belmont, CA: Cengage Learning.

Gladding, S.T. (2020). Groups: A counseling specialty. 8th ed. New York: Pearson.

Yalom, I.D. (1995). The Theory and Practice of Group Psychotherapy. New York: Basis Books.

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Change and Restoration: The Healing Power of Small Groups

Tim Clinton, Ed.D., LPC, LMFT

Summary We are all called to soul care ministry and we will take a look at the power of small groups.

Groups can be very effective for change and restoration when led well. There are different types of groups for various groups with different goals, and all can be dynamic and powerful.

Certain leadership and facilitator qualities and core conditions are necessary in order for healing and performing to take place on a meaningful level in a small group setting.

Learning Objectives: 1. Participants will learn what a group is and why it is valuable, as well as the different types of groups and stages of group in the therapy setting.

2. Participants will understand the necessary qualifications and skills needed by leaders and facilitators of a small group.

3. Participants will look at the core conditions, curative factors and considerations involved in a small group.

I.

Introduction

A. Biblical Basis/ Foundational Scriptures 1. 2 Cor 1:3-4 •

The great soul care passage

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God comforts us and we can then comfort others

2. Galatians 6:1-2 •

Restore one another, bear one another’s burdens

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Be conduits of hope, grace, healing

B. Social Nature of Man 1. God is social, Man is social 2. We were made for relationship 3. All of creation was good, but it was not good that man be alone (Genesis 2:18) 4. In the Fall (Gen. 3), Man’s relationship with God was broken, Man is healed through relationship with God (1 Cor. 15:22) 5. Eph. 4:11, 2 Cor. 5:18 – God has called us to one another and to a ministry of reconciliation 6. Heb. 3:13 – Encourage one another daily…so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness C. What constitutes a Group? (based on Samuel Gladding) 1. A group is a collection of 2 or more individuals who meet in an interactive interdependent way with the awareness that each belongs to the group and for the purpose of achieving mutually agreed upon goals D. Primary Mission/ Value of Group (Based on Gerald Corey) 1. Change – How we do life 2. Education – Understanding and coping 3. Encouragement, support, bringing about a new way of life 4. Groups can be very dynamic and powerful when led well

II.

Types of Groups and Qualities Needed

A. Types of Groups (based on Gladding) 1. Tasks/work groups •

Promote efficient and effective accomplishments of group tasks among a group

2. Educational/psycho-educational •

Education is the treatment

•

Impartation of knowledge and correcting perceptions as needed

3. Life skills •

Support groups

•

Identify and correct deficits in life coping responses and learn new appropriate behaviors

4. Counseling groups •

Preventive, growth-oriented and remedial in nature

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Improvement of interpersonal relationships and intrapersonal growth of members through help of the group

5. Psychotherapy •

Personal and interpersonal problems of living

•

For those experiencing severe or chronic maladjustments

B. Leadership Qualities for Small Groups (see Corey and Gladding) 1. Presence •

Be emotionally attuned – takes a lot of energy

2. Personal power •

Self confident and awareness of one’s influence on others

•

Preparation and experience are important

3. Courage •

To lead, be vulnerable, to admit mistakes

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Not too much self disclosure but enough

4. Belief in the process and enthusiasm •

Education to energy and excitement

C. Facilitator Skills for Small Groups (see Corey and Gladding) 1. Active listening •

Pay attention to what is and isn’t being said

•

Content and the way it is being said

2. Restating •

Recasting for clarity - what i think i heard you say was....

3. Clarifying •

Clearing up unclear aspects or confusing information

4. Summarizing •

Pulling together what was covered in a meaningful way

5. Facilitating •

Enhancing and enabling members to reach goals

6. Confronting •

Honest look at self and others

7. Protecting •

Conflict is inevitable

•

Threats and challenges from member/s – scapegoating

8. Supporting •

III.

Encouraging - ‘to give courage to’

Core Conditions, Factors and Stages of Group

A. Core Conditions of Group (see Corey and Yalom) 1. Open communication 2. Confidentiality - safety and trust in the process and experience 3. Attendance and participation 4. Risk taking and to own their behavior

B. Curative Factors (see Irvin D. Yalom) 1. Hope •

Something to live for

•

Seeing improvement in others or self

2. Universality •

Others with the same issues/challenges/ struggles

•

Not in this alone, sense of commonality

3. Impartation of information •

Symptoms, issues

•

Fear of the unknown is often as threatening and damaging as the real issue

4. Altruism •

Unselfish intrinsic act of giving

•

Means you have value

5. Corrective recapitulation of the primary family group •

Habits/issues learned in family

•

Pain from parents or siblings needs to be worked through

6. Learning social skills •

Seeing and trying new behaviors

•

Shared thoughts or ideas, trying them out in a safe place

7. Imitative behavior •

Learning and modeling/ testing

•

Vicarious / spectator therapy

C. Stages of Group (see Bruce Tuckman) 1. Forming - getting started 2. Storming - conflict / power struggle 3. Norming - agreement / roles 4. Performing - carrying out the vision and goals of the group, Flow: interdependent to independent to interdependent 5. Adjourning/Terminating —- bringing to closure

D. Other Considerations 1. Risks 2. Rules 3. Roles 4. Responsibility 5. Need to have: •

Plan

•

Purpose

•

Procedures

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Pre-group Interview

•

Permission

•

Participation

Types of Groups: An Overview for a Dynamic Ministry

Jennifer Cisney, M.A.; David Jenkins, Psy.D.; and Eric Scalise, Ph.D.

I. Ways of Incorporating Small Groups into a Church System: A. Appendage System

Small groups are a “menu item”—part of the ongoing ministry of the church 10-20% of churches have this kind of system B. Integrated System

70-80% of churches use this kind of system

One pastor on staff who oversees the small group ministry

C. Totally Integrated System

About 1% of churches use this kind of system

Small group has the same level of importance as worship and much of what happens within the church functioning

D. Research: Stats on Different Types of Groups within the Church

1st—(approx. 33 %)—recovery movement (primarily related to alcoholism) 2nd—(approx. 28 %)—single parenting 3rd—grief recovery

4th—divorce recovery 5th—substance abuse 6th—eating disorders 7th—sexual abuse

Small Group Leader

Statistics have repeatedly shown that 1 out of 3 girls and 1 out of 4 boys experience some form of abuse in childhood

II. Myths

A. Groups are for Everyone

People who are vulnerable or fragile may not be ready for group work Those with intense anger issues may become a danger to group work

B. “If I participate in a small group, everything will be better in my life.”

Groups effective for support but do not solve or fix problems

Personal change occurs but environment does not necessarily change

C. Goal of Group is to Acquire Closeness—“Group Hug”

Goal is really to learn how to love people who are different and establish proper boundaries

Intimacy is a bi-product not necessarily the ultimate goal

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With a skilled leader, groups are designed to confront in a positive manner and support while challenging.

Common Question: Will groups require that I “air my dirty laundry” and reveal all things personal to me?

The purpose and focus of a group is to promote healing and growth!

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“May get worse before it gets better.”

Goal is to move toward recovery.

E. Groups Just Tell People How To Be

In general, there is not one specific way for everyone.

Must limit advice giving.

Give people tools.

Challenge to take ownership of life.

F. Groups Are For People Who Are Emotionally Disturbed

Severely emotionally disturbed individuals need more intensive treatment than a group setting

G. Groups Are An Artificial Environment

This myth is masked with self protection Relationships are real Group is a microcosm of real life

Let groups help emphasize personal choice and responsibility!

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III. Types of Groups within the Church A. Task Groups

Committees

B. Fellowship Groups

Home groups Small groups Life groups Focus is on intimacy, promotes positive relationships, in-reach and outreach opportunities

C. Psychotherapy Groups

Specific in nature

Deals with unconscious material Clinical training required Licensed professional facilitator

D. Psychoeducational Groups and Counseling Support Groups

Psychoeducational—willing to teach skills (i.e. Search for Significance; Boundaries)— 19

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Small Group Leader these groups are educational in nature

Counseling/Support groups—brings a group of people together who have a common struggle or pain—more experiential and personal in nature

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Small Group Leader

E. Open/Closed Groups

“Open” defined—others can join at any time, people can also leave at any time “Closed” defined—specific number and specific timeline set “Combination” defined—after 3rd or 4th session, the group will become a closed group

Pros/Cons to an Open/Closed Group:

F. Heterogeneous vs. Homogenous Groups

Heterogeneous—diversity, different issues (i.e. generic recovery group) Homogenous—similar experience (i.e. alcoholic related group) Factors—gender, age, culture

A. Other Factors To Consider

The on-going commitment of the church/organization The readiness of the church/organization The skill level of people available to the church/organization Groups foster a sense of Christ-awareness!

Be sure to prayerfully consider what kind of group you are going to begin!

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