“Light” by Milena Ramirez

Ashley Rosario, 21

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The greatest artist. My favorite painter has to be you, although I’m the artist, but you’re more consistent than me, painting images day & night in my head I no longer wish to see. I feel like I’m trapped, because no matter how far I run away from you, you just don’t stop. & even when I’m out with my friends, you tend to persuade me that I’m worthless. that I’m hard to love, even though deep down I know that I’m worth it. You tend to shut my body down when I need energy the most. You feed thoughts to my heart, hoping you’ll damage it, but I won’t change, I’ll continue to be me. I know you hate hearing that from me. You’re the greatest artist. You’re a painter, a fast one and also the smartest. You sit down next to me to comfort me, but I’m not safe around your space so please get away from me. No, I never deserved that, because I would’ve never did them like that. No, I’m not hard to love, they just didn’t know what true love was. No, he or she is not the same like the rest from my past. No, they’re not here to hurt you, they just want to love you. They’re showing you, I promise you it’s not a mask. No, there’s no one better than me because I have more than just looks. My mind, my soul, is unique, not cold and a rock just like the rest. I feel and I feel, I’m deserving of any good thing that comes next. No, I’m not sensitive, it’s okay to feel. My heart is warm & pure, it’s not made out of steel. Stop painting these pictures, because my art is worth more. No, my scars aren’t ugly, they made me who I am, I had to study life to get to where I am today, they are lovely. No, there’s no one else who’s better, I’m worth billions and trillions, someone else will know how much I’m worth & treat me with care. If you think I’m worthless, imagine you. The only thing you have out to give is images that create fear, so let’s get that clear. Overthinking. Night and day. You’re my daily struggle but I know one day I’ll defeat you. I now have my third eye, I advise you to leave, because you’re not & won’t be the end of me.