Artwork by Giuliana Cannizzo

Inner Voice

Jasmeen Kaur, 23

Waking up to the sight of the four walls of the hospital and beeping of the machines, Patients of all ages all around me in the ED. I’m feeling uneasy. Feeling overcrowded, unheard, tormenting pain yet numbness at the same time, I lay on my stretcher looking at the imprinted ceiling. Waiting to get assistance and a hospital bed. Can you hear me? Feeling frozen in time; Seeing nurses, doctors, PA’s pacing back and forth Providing help and guidance to patients in need. When will you come to me? The experience; permanently the same yet also so different, Transitioning from being a child to blossoming into an adult Is not as simple as it seems. Can you hear me? A lot has changed since before. Advocating for oneself is a MUST! If it’s not you, then who should it be? After the extensive wait, I finally get a sense of privacy Receiving all the care of the hospital team; Is it wrong to want to be the center of attention in here? Can you hear me? A sense of time being absent throughout the stay; Waking up for blood draws and going to sleep getting your BP checked. Days pass by until one day, you’re feeling like you can overcome anything. Warm sunlight hitting your face, Wanting to get out of bed and be productive. Even as simple of a job as eating your food can be the biggest accomplishment! Best of all, Seeing your friends, family, and hospital team cheering you on to get better, Gives you all the motivation you need to reset your health. Can you hear me? Day by day, feeling myself restoring back to health Feeling the fuel of vitality coursing through my tiny body Getting back up on my own two feet. The winter frost is almost over. Thinking about all the things I have to do, Once I get back to the reality of life. Feeling a cocktail of emotions, Thrilled, excited, nervous, hopeful, Yet also scared and doubting yourself. Wanting this to be the last time you’re in here, Yet knowing that it’s inevitable to stay away for too long, Just like two magnets stuck together through the force of magnetism. Meditating optimistic thoughts and becoming stronger than ever, Not because you want to, But because you HAVE to – for yourself! Can YOU hear me?

Signing my discharge papers, I step out and feel the fresh breeze traveling through my hair The warm sun striking my skin; this time everything felt so light. Spring is here; As if someone pressed “Play” on life again, And upon hearing my own voice, I step out feeling euphoric to resume the random journey of life!