RAM 2020 | Issue Three

Your Student Magazine Keeping Busy 76 ideas to keep busy at home

Issue Three

Beaver’s Banter Welcome to the 2020 Beaver Games

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April/Aperira

Covid Musings What we’re all really thinking

This issue is not about lockdown and covid-19...

This issue is not about lockdown and covid-19...

This issue is not about lockdown and covid-19...

This issue is not about lockdown and covid-19...

This issue is not about lockdown and covid-19...

Who are we kidding, of course this issue is about lockdown and covid-19...

RAM Magazine Lincoln University Students’ Association Email: media@lusa.org.nz lusa.org.nz/RAM

RAM | Issue Three

Contents.

Words from the President

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What’s LUSA Doing?

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Covid-19 FAQs 09 76 Ways to Entertain Yourself

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Covid Musings 12 My University Exchange in Sweden During a Pandemic

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Locked Down in Norway

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Beaver’s Banter 17 Friendship 18 Whānau Time 20 How to De-clutter Your Wardrobe

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Love in the Time of Coronavirus

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Getting High 24

WHAT’S IN THIS ISSUE

2020 LUSA Exec 05

FROM YOUR PRESIDENT

Sam Blackmore Welcome to the new normal!

The first thing I want to say is; please, stay home. Listen to the rules of the lockdown set out by the government. Be sensible. I’m sure you’ve got heaps of new matches on Tinder, or messages on Grindr, or Christian Mingle – if that’s more to your taste.

But this isn’t a time to be getting to know someone ‘intimately’. Just keep things digital for the lockdown – I’m sure snapchat is being well utilised by a lot of you. The 20-29 year age group are the biggest carriers of COVID19 in New Zealand, we are the vector of this virus. I’m sure you’d feel absolutely gutted if you were to catch it off someone and then bring the virus into your bubble – especially if there was someone vulnerable There has been something that has become pertinent over the last few weeks – that out of crises comes many opportunities. And the LUSA Exec is taking this opportunity to have a look at what we are doing to support students in the next few weeks and months.

We usually have each exec member working in a specific portfolio area, covering a broad base of areas in the university. However, due to the significant challenge of how to support you all over the lockdown and beyond, we have decided to shake things up a bit. The exec have been split into four teams; working on how to support undergrads, postgrads and international students, Maori and Pasifika students, and also how to support our clubs.

Unfortunately we have had to change the by-election process because holding voting while everyone was going through a massive period of uncertainty and stress would have been untenable. Therefore the Executive have voted to co-opt two members onto the board from the by-election nominees.

In other news, you are all most likely trying to figure out some type of routine. Just remember you aren’t studying from home – you are at home during a pandemic, trying to study. Reaching out for help and support in this time is totally okay – and LUSA are here to help! Check out our website for all the details. There is also the COVID19 Aegrotat which I strongly recommend that you use as well.

You might be wondering what I’ve been doing over the last wee while (if not then this is the last point so see ya next issue!). I’ve been involved in meetings every day for the last 10 weeks - providing the student voice on the University’s response to COVID19. It has given me the opportunity to really push some conversations along and help advocate for students in really difficult positions, which I am really proud of. However If anyone has any other questions about how I’m involved in the response – flick me an email or write a Pester the Prez question!

Keep safe out there whānau.

Arohanui 4

RAM | Issue Three

Max Lichtenstein

Gregory Flemming

Kia Ora Koutou Katoa

Kia ora koutou,

2020 — the year of COVID-19…

The clique “unprecedented” has become recliqued (is that even a word?) over the last few weeks. As the effects of COVID-19 have become apparent, this word has been used over and over again. But then when has there ever been a time in history where the world has effectively shut down? The answer can be deducted using another clique; “history repeats itself”. This is not the first time the world has had a significant pandemic. The bubonic plague, the Spanish flu, and now COVID-19 have all significantly affected the way of life for the world at their respective times in history.

However, unlike in the past, we now have the advantage of modern science. We can fight back, change our behaviour, and eventually create a vaccine. However, this means we must all… STAY AT HOME!

Vice-President

It has been a bumpy start to the year and not one that I was at all expecting. The virus has had an extraordinary impact on society as we know it and caused extreme disruptions to our academic studies. It’s important we all play our part to protect our people by staying at home! I got cabin fever on about day 2 (I miss the hills) - but I am yet to get bored! Taking some time out has allowed me to take a break and reset myself. Through this reset, I have found the opportunity to start thinking about a few lessons we could learn from the disruptions to society and what the future could look like. Similar to the days after the Canterbury earthquakes, the disturbance to our everyday lives will allow us to plan ahead with a clean slate and be creative for how we want to move forward.

I suddenly found myself much less busy with uni going on hold, and moving into the midsem break. With all this spare time I have been reading more, trying to minimise my screen time, practicing yoga, keeping up my fitness and baking! Although, I’m not very good at the later because I tend to not follow the recipe…

We have still been working hard as an exec to advocate for ultimate student-centered decision making during this difficult time.

Take care of yourself and those within your bubble, stay connected and make the most of this time to reset your mind and body. This could be a great opportunity to follow through with that New Year’s Resolution you never quite stuck too. Think of the positives, stay positive, but hopefully don’t test positive!

Secretary

This current situation absolutely sucks, but the more people who cooperate with the lockdown, the sooner we can get back to normal life. This lockdown is our current reality, but it will soon be over. Stay strong, stay safe and remember to stay at home.

We at LUSA are busy working in the background so we can continue to engage with you guys and support you during the next few weeks.

If you or your club have any ideas on how we can support our wider student community then get in contact with LUSA or email me at gregory.fleming@lincolnuni.ac.nz.

Ngā mihi nui, Gregory

Ngā mihi nui Max

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Sarah Visser

Barbera Forster

During “noho taratahi”, self-isolation, it can be easy to think too much about “Mate korona”, coronavirus, but fear not! In the wise words of Timon and Pumbaa:

Ram bam thank you mam’. It’s quarantine time and I’m stuck at home with 3 of my brothers, two of which are under the age of 10 H e l p M e…

“HAKUNA MATATA!” (No worries!)

I thought id just share a story as they are mental and living with them is more so. I have had to break up 4 fights already and its day ONE, two of said fights were the cats, who aren’t adjusting well to being in a shared living space. I have had to take my fat boi home while the quarantine is on and he doesn’t like his new housemate.

General Rep

Or in Te Reo Māori “Hei aha atu!”.

To distract myself from over thinking, I have reduced time on my phone, and looked into my LUSA portfolio of recreation, environment, and sustainability, for some active ideas. This is what I’m doing towards caring for myself and the world around me that you can adjust for yourself too: Recreation: Running 5km a day (Yes it’s a shock to the system!)

Environment: Going on “Bug Hunts” in the garden and uploading observations on www.inaturalist.org Sustainability: Composting paper based items and upcycling old clothing.

What are you doing to make a personal difference and engage your inner child?

Kia maumahara, me toro ki ētahi atu.

Remember, check-in on others <3

General Rep

As for my brothers they somehow acquired two giant cardboard pipes to beat each other with and in the midst of one argument, hitting each other with the giant pipes wasn’t enough, one went and threw a handful of butter knives at the other one. I don’t know why and despite the fact this is a common occurrence they come out of it rather unscathed. This is now my daily life…

I know stress levels are high because of the uncertainty with all things tests and exams as a fellow Agi Sci student, I understand.

LUSA is trying hard to be creative and innovative in how we can provide student experience even from a social distance, any ideas let us know! I hope everyone stays sane.

Cheers, Barb

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RAM | Issue Three

LUSA’s New Exec Members:

Zoe Arts

Postgrad Rep

Kate Lambarth General Rep

Kia ora, I don’t know about you guys, but since this lockdown started, I haven’t stopped eating!

The colder weather has inspired me to bake a lot more, my favourite things to bake at the moment are cinnamon bread and chocolate chip cookies. If you haven’t done any baking yet I would recommend it as a great way to distracts yourself or procrastinate.

Staying connected with family and friends is important right now. This is a great opportunity to reach out and check-up on people while you all have plenty of time. Remember if you’re stuck in a hard place LUSA are here to help, if you need financial aid or you just want to talk we are here for you right now.

Also, Postgrad Society has a Facebook group (Lincoln University Postgrad Society 2020) this group posts relevant information for postgrads including a heads up for any upcoming postgrad events. Please feel free to join the group or invite your friends to join, it is open to all postgrads.

Stay Safe, Zoe

Balaji Poobalamurugan Leksshman International Rep NEWS New Dates for Semester One Due to the impact of the virus and lockdown, some semester one dates have changed.

Activity

Existing

Revised

1st term ends

27 March

20 March

Mid-term break

30 March – 17 April

23 March – 17 April

Sem 1 lectures end

29 May

5 June

Study break

1–5 June

8–12 June

Sem 1 exams

8–19 June

15–26 June

Sem 1 exam results released

1 July

8 July

Sem 2 starts

13 July

13 July

Covid-19 Special Considerations This form is to be used by ALL students requiring special consideration for any piece of in-term assessment or formal examination due to Covid-19 circumstances.

Covid-19 Special Consideration application forms must be returned to Amanda Emery: amanda.emery@lincoln.ac.nz 7

What is LUSA Doing?

Follow LUSA Facebook @studentsatlincoln and LUSA Noticeboard Instagram @lusa.nz Snapchat @lusa.nz WeChat @lusa_nz Official messages from the University regarding COVID-19 can be found at www.lincoln.ac.nz and on Learn.

LUSA’s Services Are Still Available

RAM

Your Student Magazine will continue to come to you online, so you can access it from home! We want to make this EVEN MORE student driven, so we’re currently looking for submissions from YOU! Visit lusa.org.nz/contribute to submit.

Events

While a few of our events are on hold for now, we’re looking at ways to bring events to you digitally. We’re also hopeful about holding Garden Party when this is all over, planning is underway…

Hardship Fund

For anyone struggling with financial difficulty right now due to COVID-19, we have money available and can help. We are processing applications daily and supporting students who are struggling. Visit www.lusa.org.nz/hardship-fund to apply.

If you don’t have a device available for online learning and assessments, you may be eligible to apply to the Hardship Fund for help.

Community Pantry

We have New World Vouchers available for students struggling to put food on the table during this difficult time. Visit www.lusa.org.nz/community-pantry to apply, applications are processed daily and vouchers posted to your house.

Advocacy & Support

Kate, our Student Advocacy & Voice Representative, is available to help with any issues you may be having, and provide support where needed. Kate is available at students@lusa.org.nz or 03 423 0582 Monday – Friday.

Student Exec

Your Student Exec will continue to advocate for you at every opportunity. If you have any concerns, questions or feedback, reach out!

Lincoln University

LUSA President

Sam Blackmore President@lusa.org.nz

Student Advocacy & Voice

Kate Lindsay Students@lusa.org.nz 03 423 0582

LUSA Manager

Fiona Kay Manager@lusa.org.nz

Design & RAM

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Laura Illingworth Media@lusa.org.nz lusa.org.nz/RAM

Communications & Events

Brit Cradock Comms@lusa.org.nz

Accounts Administration

Bridget Marshall Bridget.Marshall@lincoln.ac.nz

Lincoln University Services Health Centre Student Health & Support remains available while LU is in lockdown. If you are enrolled with Student Health, you can access their services from anywhere in the country, as appointments are being held through non-faceto-face methods. Call 03 325 3835 to book an appointment with a doctor, nurse or counsellor.

Rec Centre The LU Rec Centre is closed until further notice. However, workout videos and plans are available on their Facebook page, as well as the Lincoln University Sport Facebook page. LUSA will share these on our own page so that you can stay active at home.

RAM | Issue Three

Covid-19 FAQs

Covid-19 FAQs Q: What can I do to get the hardship fund?

A: Visit www.lusa.org.nz/hardship-fund, download the application form and complete. Then send your completed application form along with all required documentation to students@lusa.org.nz. If you have any questions, you can email Kate on the above email.

Q: I need help to apply for an extension for my Visa. How can I go about this? Will Student Admin help?

A: You should be able to apply for a Visa extension online, however INZ is quite overwhelmed at the moment so Student Admin will be available to help you while they are working from home. Send an email to Student.services@lincoln.ac.nz and they will be able to help you.

Q: Are any tests or assignments, even online ones, going ahead before the holidays?

A: No. All teaching and assessments have been suspended for term one. These will now be held in week one of term two (20th April), and you will need to consult with Learn or your Lecturer to find out when.

Q: Do we need to set up webcam for the final exam?

A: Some courses will require you to have a webcam to complete assessments and/or tutorials, so you will need to make sure your device has a camera or you set up a webcam.

Q: Will Uni be closed next term as well? Have they announced this yet?

A: The University will follow the guidance of our Government on whether to open next term following this four week initial shut down response. All learning and assessments are prepared to be completed fully online so that should the Uni need to stay closed next term, we can.

Q: [In relation to announcement that all formal teaching and assessment activities for semester one courses are now suspended until Monday 20th April] Does this mean we’re not going back to uni for term 2? Or just the first week of term 2?

A: At this stage courses will be taught online for term 2. Everything will be available online including tests and assignments from 20th April, which is the beginning of term 2. This could change depending on the directions of the Government, however this is the plan at the moment. All tests and assignments that were due this week have been postponed until the first week of term 2.

Q: Do we need to be prepared for potential tests or assignments which were scheduled for first week back to be sprung on us in the first days back from the ‘suspended semester’?

A: I believe many lecturers will be holding tests and assignments in the first week back after the holidays to make up for the suspension. They wanted to give everyone a bit more time as this week has been a crazy and unsettling for a lot of people. Tests and assignments that were originally scheduled for after April 20th will likely remain the same.

Q: I know it’s still up in the air at the moment, but after the 20th of April are we doing all our classes online, will normal face to face teaching continue then or is that over for the whole semester?

A: This will depend on the Government-imposed lock down and whether this continues. At this stage, it is best to plan for all classes to be online for the rest of semester 1, but as the situation develops, we will know more about when face to face teaching can resume. We will try to keep you up to date with these decisions as they are made.

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Illustration by @gingernut.art 10

RAM | Issue Three

76 Ways to Entertain Yourself at Home...

1. Rearrange your furniture 2. Have a bake off 3. Or try a new baking 4. Sort your wardrobe, see page 20 for tips 5. Build a pillow fort 6. Have a wine tasting night 7. Host a Paint and Sip with your bubble 8. Picnic in the backyard 9. Master 3 TikTok dances 10. Have a dance party 11. Do Zumba or Jump Jam 12. Play Sims 13. Find a new podcast 14. Take a free on demand Les Mills Class 15. Create your perfect quarentini cocktail 16. Invent something 17. Play GeoGuessr 18. Do couples yoga 19. Play cards 20. Learn poker 21. Learn a new skill 22. Rewatch an old movie saga 23. Go for a walk

39. Make a paper fortune teller 40. Play MASH with your flatmates 41. Learn to braid 42. Have a board game tournament 43. House scavenger hunt 44. Train your hair to be washed less often 45. Learn to shuffle cards 46. Get all the free streaming trials 47. Grow a beard 48. Learn origami 49. Sleep. Get lots of it.

50. Participate in LUSAâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Daily Challenge 51. Write for RAM 52. Do a squat challenge 53. Clean your car 54. Paint your nails 55. Have a PowerPoint competition 56. Create a new music playlist 57. Skype your family 58. Play Poptropica 59. Deep clean your shower 60. Text your crush 61. Play Cards Against Humanity

24. Follow a drawing tutorial 25. See how long your can play Monopoly 26. Complete a puzzle 27. Message an old friend 28. Learn four sayings in a foreign language 29. Meditate 30. Make your own day spa, pamper yourself 31. DIY sugar scrub, then exfoliate 32. Write a letter to family and friends 33. Organise all of your photos 34. Tidy up the files on your desktop 35. Read that book 36. Knit a beanie 37. Take a bubble bath 38. Colour in

62. Pull an all nighter 63. Look at your facebook memories 64. Make a toy for your pet 65. Be fancy and have a high tea 66. Play video games 67. Make playdough 68. Have a house pub quiz 69. Play strip jenga 70. Blind taste testing 71. Play truth or dare 72. Camp out in the lounge 73. Find a new youtuber 74. Have a social media free day 75. Have a debate 76. Experiment...

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YOUR YARNS

Anonymous Student

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RAM | Issue Three

I know — all we’ve heard about lately is the Global Coronavirus Crisis (the GCC?). But bear with me, I've had a lot of time to think, and half a bottle of wine to drink. Avert your eyes, ye who hates foul language.

I fully intended to use this time to be productive as hell. I was gonna get back on the yoga bandwagon, detox from all the junk food I can’t get my hands on anymore and nurture my vege garden to be a self-sufficient queen of produce. In reality, I’ve played umpteen games of Scrabble with my partner, raided my flatmates abandoned snacks (sorry Māui!), and not a damn thing has sprouted in my fucking garden.

What I have done though, is reflect a lot.

What’s with casual contracts?

They are meant to be for the super flexible, for people who are happy to take (or leave) an offer of extra work. It’s not really aimed at people who rely on it for regular income, yet here we are. Yes, I’m looking at YOU LU, with casual contracts coming out your ears. Perhaps it's time to examine how we look after more vulnerable workers. (Read: it's damn well time we look at that).

Why haven't more people been working from home before now?

Look! It works! This could’ve made a huge difference in the lives of those who are differently abled, or to parents who need to work around children’s schedules. And then there’s the bonus of less traffic and

emissions, and less time wasted picking my nose in traffic.

A lot of the same can be said for LECTURE RECORDINGS. There was no good reason not already be offering this as standard, really. Glad we finally got there.

The groceries situation. I suspect that a lot of people actually aren’t panic buying. I’ve been buying a bit extra to limit the number of times I need to go out, so that I minimise the risk of spreading the virus. People with larger families simply need that much in their trolley. And all of us are actually at home, meaning we’re not buying hot chips, coffee or overpriced sushi.

We're also actually shopping at our local supermarket, not at the supermarket on Moorhouse on our way home or the one in the mall after guiltily buying another pair of kicks.

The people who ARE panic buying need to chill tf out and leave some for the next person.

Aside from missing the freefor-all snack fiend that I used to indulge, I actually find this all oddly relaxing. The streets are quieter, I have an extra 45 minutes in the morning now that I'm not rushing to be somewhere, and I've taken walks in my neighbourhood more in a week than I have in the eighteen months I've lived here. I have time to make myself a decent lunch, space to take a nap when I'm knackered, and literally no reason to rush anything. I haven't done all those things that I set out in the beginning, but I have rested and looked after myself,

and spent time talking to my family (which literally does not happen normally).

On a broad, broad level: what’s the fucking point of it all? All that misery in commuting, to be miserable at a desk, 5 days a week for 48 weeks a year for 45 years of your life. I know some of us are getting into jobs we actually like, but my point is, we bust our asses and then we die. Why can’t life be a bit more flexible in terms of worklife balance, access to equitable outcomes and letting happiness be a good enough raison d’etre?

I hope my brain dump hasn’t given anyone a migraine, if they’ve stuck with it this far. I also hope that this shared experience gives us all some perspective.

We don’t need material things as much as we need human connection. Be more present, more mindful, more kind. Grow a garden, be with one another, read a book. I hope more workplaces permanently adjust to a partial work-from-home model, saving time, emissions and money. I hope parents and their children get to spend more time together, and that people examine who they’re willing to look at for a straight month before they have kids. I hope that education systems become flexible and inclusive.

We could stand to think about what is considered knowledge and education too. I hope that everyone comes out of this with more empathy and compassion for one another.

I hope we learn.

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My University Exchange in Sweden during a Pandemic

By Henry Finnis

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RAM | Issue Three

My exchange experience definitely got flipped upside down but you have to make of it what it is! I am in Sweden and we seem to be one of the last places where you can freely go anywhere, however the University has closed.

So, days are very different in the sense of instead waking up and going off to class, you wake up then sit at your desk and attend online lectures via Zoom. As I find it sometimes difficult to put myself in the correct work mindset from my room I often will leave and walk to a café or some public work spaces located in library or the sport facility just so I leave my room.

With the sporting facility that does classes and has a gym still open I can keep up my fitness which is big for my mental health. Also with the snow melting I have finally been able to go for some runs which results in some impressive views of the river, lake and city.

Keeping in touch with people I think is very important and just to keep some normality in your life. So, I often catch up with friends for a Swedish ‘fika’, which is a time of day where Swedes drop what they are doing and meet up for a coffee, tea and sweet buns.

My current living situation is in what they call ‘corridors’ here. You are given a room with your own bathroom and share a kitchen with 7 other strangers in your corridor. A corridor is like one floor of these 2-3 storey high buildings build high density to house students, however general public can also live here. Most of the people on my floor have gone home and so I think it’s just 2 others with me now which makes it kind of good. I just make sure I wash everything before and after I use it in the kitchen. Plus washing my hands before I eat and when I get back into my room etc.

The good thing I guess, is that I can still do most things. I can go out to eat, have a drink, play sports etc. People are becoming very hesitant in doing these things, however the Swedish government believe it’s important in keeping a good state of mind. Every door, counter or desk there is hand sanitizer and a 24/7 helpline just to talk if needed.

The bad thing is adjusting to the new self-managed schedules of everyday life. I am someone who likes structure in their daily routine and this situation has challenged me to self-manage a lot better. But I believe I am coping and adapting ok. The slight nervous feeling of situation as whole plans on your mind too. Every morning I wake up to news articles from back home, or the world about the ongoing current climate we find ourselves and its rarely good news! Semester two this year at LU is meant to be my last before I graduate. Part of me is concerned whether I will make it back in time for it!

Overall, I am really enjoying my time here and just trying not to let COVID-19 ruin the experience too much. It wasn’t the exchange experience I was expecting but I am trying to make the most of it!

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Locked Down in Norway

By Susanna Blakely

The first week of lockdown was a little hectic as I wasn’t sure whether I was going back to New Zealand or staying, or whether it was actually possible to leave. The majority of flights were being cancelled. However, I chose to stay here as it seemed safer than trying to get all the way back when I had friends who were having single flights to centres in Europe cancelled and delayed for days. So, I’ve created my own bubble here. Ås is a half-hour train ride south of Oslo and is a small, rural university town not too different from Lincoln. Its surrounded by a mix of cropping, pasture and forests and the great thing is that you can walk where ever you want. Spring has begun here. Little flowers are popping up everywhere, and the trees are starting to come into leaf. It is expected to get up to 13°C this week, so it’s practically tropical. To fill in the time without weekend trips or social events, I’ve been learning how to knit thanks to YouTube and had a few unsuccessful but hilarious attempts at watercolour painting. At least the houseplant propagation is going well, so I now have ten plants to try and navigate when studying.

I arrived in Norway for my exchange and the Norwegian University of Life Sciences (NMBU) in January. All was nice and normal until March. Within a couple of days, the university closed down along with all airports.

So, since then, life here in As has changed quite a bit. Before lockdown, the campus had a very active social life with parties, events, classes ranging from swing dancing to bird identification and trips to surrounding centres. If someone had have told me a few months before that soon I couldn’t travel anywhere, would be doing all my classes online and be excited about the big trips each week to the supermarket, I would have thought that they had have mixed up when April fool’s day was. It’s slightly crazy just how fast everything can stop.

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At NMBU, lectures are still going as usual, but all held over Zoom. Amid the walks, movies, phone calls and baking sprees, I’ve been having difficulty remembering that I still have a normal uni workload of lectures, readings, group projects and assignments. Not to mention the challenge when the internet over all the student accommodation and campus cut out for a few hours when we had lectures and online tests. But I guess it comes with the teething process of switching everything to being online.

The situation certainly isn’t what I expected when coming on exchange to Norway. It isn’t all ideal. It’s been disappointing saying bye to three-quarters of the other exchange students who have had to go home. I’m literally on the other side of the planet from home, and at times it’s challenging being bombarded with a whole lot of news and information. Yet, there are many fantastic things like rambling through the forest, having late-night campfires, swimming in the fjord, movie marathons and make amazing friends from across the world.

We are all getting through this together and have to make the best of things as they are. Anyway, at least in Norway, there is still toilet paper and hand sanitizer on the shelves.

RAM | Issue Three

Here for a dam good time!

Hello my beaver fans! I hope your all keeping as busy as I am during this time, and by busy I mean furiously masterbating. So if you’re as sick of grinding up meat as Carol Baskin is then have I got something for you!

Since the Olympics have been postponed until next year, there is a new game in town that I like to call the ‘2020 Beaver Games’. Now don’t panic, my kind of sport does not require you to get too physical. Patricia, leave your nasty physical thoughts at your whore house, it ain’t that kind of article… this time.

Lets Begin!

Taekwon-Teddy This is one that anyone can play. Go to your window and kidnap the bear that is currently part of the movement that has made parents around the country loathe going for a walk with their children, just to hear badly counted numbers.

Once you have your bear, blast you speaker with Billie Eilish’s “Bury a Friend” and bury that teddy!

Next step is to spend the whole day drinking, getting more drunk than you did that time at Garden Party before 8am. Once satisfied level of drunkenness has been achieved, now is the time to do the teddy bear hunt! If you can find the bear within 3 hours, I would call that successful.

Added bonus, you’ve now done your weeding for the month.

Dadminton

BEAVER’S BANTER

2020 Beaver Games

sorcerer, and continue to cut out all of the page numbers. Hand it back to him with pride, showing your dominance. He may give you that same disappointing look you received yesterday, and the day before… but one must make the most of annoying the family opportunities while we are all stuck in the same bubble.

Footfall Now I never thought I’d never bring it up, but because its 2020, there had to be some sort of a Tik Tok game. This one is in the name. How many times and in different places around your house can you trip over your own feet? Record these falls and upload them to Tik Tok. Let’s all face the facts, these will be the only trips you will be taking for a while, so go get those 20 views and 5 followers you’ve been desperate for since 2019.

Egg-uestrian This game requires essential skills. Don’t even try it if you’re as co-ordinated as an autistic amputee. Reason for this is, we don’t want to be wasting food right now, and those shelves in the egg section were looking as empty as my bottle of rum last night. Keep one hand behind your back, give the eggs a crack and fry up yourselves a delicious chicken foetus. Bonus points if you film what will probably be a disaster (shells) and still eat your abomination of a meal.

That is all for this month my beaver followers, I’m going to get back to watching the final of Tiger King now. But I’ll still leave you with my monthly beaver motto…

Are you getting sick of doing family puzzles? If so, get ready for this abuse risking challenge! “Carol Baskin is a bitch, Joe Exotic deserved better”.

You are going to find your fathers favourite book, Regards, tear all the pages out like you’re a mother fucking Beaver

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Friendship Anonymous Student

Positive thoughts help us take a step back and remember that tomorrow is a new day. In your spare time during this quarantine period, take a moment each day to think of things you are grateful for. One of these things is most likely your friends, so write them a little note to let them know how much you appreciate them!

Here are some prompters to get you started: A moment I’ll never forget is…

Something we should do together…

What I love about you…

Our friendship is valuable to me because…

What I have learned from you is…

I’m really grateful to you for…

I hope that…

It will 100% brighten up their day!

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YOUR YARNS

Whānau Time.

Embracing the Opportunity!

By Sarah Visser

Goodbye Lincoln, goodbye social media, and goodbye bra! Hello Wellington, hello much missed family, and hello inner child!

For me lockdown has been such a blessing. I know it has been really rough for a lot of you so I thought I’d share some of the fun things I’ve been doing with my family that I hope to inspire you with and bring you a smile during this unusual time. Right now, this is the most relaxed and creative I’ve felt this year, but leading up to lockdown, I admit, was a little stressful.

Busy schedules full of meetings and events, almost too much of a great uni social life, which put a lot of pressure on getting the study mahi done.

Then on the 23rd of March, when Jacinda announced level 4 lockdown would occur in the next 48 hours, I had only a matter of time to decide whether to leave my Lincoln life and much loved flatmates, or return home to family in Wellington. In the end I decided that this was the perfect opportunity to have quality time with my family while campus was closed and while they weren’t at school or working. So I rang Mum and the frantic search for a flight began! Tickets were disappearing like hot cakes before our eyes, so we prayed, cried and boohooed our eyes out together on the phone. Mum rang a travel agent and as they were talking there was 2 tickets from 20

Christchurch to Wellington left. A moment later there was 1 final ticket and Mum told the agent to book the golden ticket straight away and BOOM praise the good lord Jesus we got it! It was perfect timing, the last flight! Haha but yes, AirNZ later announced more flights for people, but still, it was our special moment, our mini miracle.

The day before I left Lincoln, my flat mates Ashli, Bella, J-Lo and I visited Ali Stoddart’s farm and it melted my heart to see and pat all the moomoos!

Ali gave us the grand tour followed by hot drinks and delicious homemade honey bread! It was soooo good and simple that we asked for the recipe. Ali has very kindly agreed to share it with you all as well.

Honey Bread 1 ½ cups warm water 1 tbsp honey 1 tbsp active dry yeast 1 ½ tsp salt 4 cups of flour Mix water honey and yeast and let it sit until it foams for 5+min. Then add the salt and flour and mix until dough forms.

Shape into a loaf and let it rise for 20min and then bake it for 25min at 200C.

RAM | Issue Three

Coming back home I know I wanted to not waste this time so I need to be focused and reset my mind. To do that I’ve been asking: Where am I sourcing my hope and joy from? Netflix? News?

Social media? I don’t think so! At the end of the week I won’t remember what I watched or read on my phone. Turn that fluff off and do something that will be meaningful and memorable to you and the people you’re with. Instead of connecting to things that’ll make me feel like I’ve wasted time, I’ve chose to distance myself from social media, and focus on doing things that’ll uplift my mind and raise my spirit. For me there’s a great message on that in Philippians 4: 4-9.

Here’s some WEIRD and WONDERFUL things we have been up to: To start off the family bonding process, sacrifices had to be made and comfort zones broken... I let my 12 year old sister Rachel do my make up! I knew she’d love to do it, even though I rarely wear make up, so she sure made the most of it! And instead of giving her a makeover in return, Rachel let me do something that I’d much rather enjoy and I gave her a moko kauae, a Māori female chin tattoo with her eye liner. We were both quite happy with the results!

• Actually started running 5km a day! I encourage you to start small and easy, the best exercise is the one that you’ll do! Not the one you’ll do one day and not the next :P • SINGING and DANCING to praise and worship songs late at night even though our lounge currently doesn’t have any curtains haha!

• Hosting an 80yo English refugee at home who can’t get back to the UK. • Catching a mouse in the house, a refugee we’re not willing to host!

• Dad smashing the smoke alarm when it went faulty and he couldn’t turn it off.

• Tree fort hangout with mats, pillows, games and having a picnic and a snooze.

• Building a wētā motel with Dad for the cherry tree (even though he wants to cut it down!)

• Waving at Nana and blowing kisses through the window down the street.

• Mum waving the giant bears paws through the lounge window at children walking past.

• Put my brave pants on and walked the neighbourhood in slippers and sisters dressing gown.

• Re-engaging my artistic bone doing paintings with the girls, and I still got it people!

• Resurrecting the computer game Fireboy and Watergirl! Great flat bonding opportunity!

• Slaying Rachel at Monopoly deal, sike! She smashed me and might’ve slightly rage-quit.

• Next on my list is labeling items around the house in Te Reo Māori and writing liquid chalk messages on windows for walkers :) I have been so grateful for my loving and creative family so here are some golden nuggets from them that I’d love to share with you also.

Words of wisdom from the Visser Whānau: Mama Visser: There’s no reason to be bored at home, you can search for ideas for things to make and do on pinterest.

Papa Visser: Be thankful for what you have. Your actions now will impact future generations.

Rachel’s Jokes: 1. What do you call a fake noodle? An imPASTA! 2. Who’s the funniest Disney princess? RaPUNzel 3. Why don’t you give Elsa a balloon? Because she will let it go!

Now I’d like to finish off with some encouragement for those of you who need a boost. If you approach your situation with fear then you’ll face it in fear.

If you approach your situation with joy then it becomes an opportunity to share light into other peoples lives.

It can be easy to let the circumstances overwhelm you, but we can choose to eat the chicken and spit out the bones. There are many things that are uncertain but we can be certain that this pandemic will one day end and we’ll come out stronger and unified.

Jesus said: “Who of you will add a single hour to your life by worrying?” Luke 12:25 “Peace I leave with you, peace I give you. I do not give as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” John 14:27 Thank you for reading! Feel free to message me, LUSA, the university Chaplins if you need help and support, the best help you can give yourself is the help you’re willing to receive.

Turou hawaiki! God bless! Also, can be used as “May the force be with you” ;)

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How To:

De-clutter Your Closet.

Anonymous Student Quarantine is the perfect time to organise your room. One of the biggest challenges can be the piles of clothes at the back of the closet within which we no longer remember what exists. So might as well take a few hours (or for some people, the whole day) to completely go through it and reorganise it! Some of you may think your closet is already well organised, but you’ll be surprised what you find in there.

Step 1: Take everything out of your wardrobe.

Step 2: Dust/Wipe down the shelves/drawers (may seem unnecessary but it’s worth it).

Step 3: Sort clothing into piles: yes, no, and maybe (ask yourself if an item is something that goes well with others you have, if you like how it looks on you, and if it is comfortable).

Step 4: Now that your wardrobe is empty, plan out in your mind how you want it to look.

Step 5: Check for maintenance of your clothes: do they need washing, mending, defuzzing…

Step 6: Organise your items in your closet as you want them: by colour, season, categories…

Step 7: Go through your maybe pile and from what you have already organised in your closet, decide if you want to keep those items or add them to the no pile. Put the no pile in a box to donate/sell/throw away.

Step 8: Now you may notice there are some items you wish you had but do not. Write these down as it will help you shop more efficiently when we get out of quarantine!

All done!

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RAM | Issue Three

YOUR YARNS

Love in the Time of Coronavirus Anonymous Student It’s hard not to compare this moment in life with the one described by the Colombian writer Gabriel Garcia Marquez in his book, Love in the Times of Cholera. The story’s about a helpless romantic and deeply sensitive boy named Florentino, who gets his heart broken just when an outbreak of Cholera starts in a coastal city of Colombia and everyone is forced to quarantine.

Just as it happened to the heartbroken protagonist, a few weeks ago, I was also left with lots of unanswered questions, thinking on what I could have done better or what I could have said to all the hurtful comments that came from the person I once cherished the most and thought of as a good friend above all.

The following days it’s hard not to think about yourself as a victim and entitled to get back in the best way possible. In trying to find the right approach to deal with this, I realized that there isn’t probably the right way to get back at this person. Hurtful words have been said and the damage has been done. All I’m left with is the silence that this moment brings. The silence that we need to exist, to try to make sense of life and the way we perceive

it. Just as the heartbroken boy from the book, I soon realized that in moments like this, life forces us to reinvent ourselves.

In reinventing ourselves I believe one of the most crucial aspects is resilience. And when thinking about it I think of mangroves, just like the ones from the scenery where the story from the book takes place. Mangroves are probably one of the noblest creatures on planet earth. They grow

My lesson here was probably not to focus on finding the right person but to be the right person, for myself... on the shorelines; they work as barriers to protect coastal populations from damaging storms, hurricane winds, waves and retain floods. But what I particularly find most impressive about them is that their entangled root systems cut the flow of pollutants by filtering them and thus helping maintain water quality and clarity.

I now believe that to move on in life we should emulate

mangroves. Aiming at being resilient and cutting the flow of pollutants or in this case, hurtful comments. I’m not sure if karma will handle this. I truly wish him all the best. I like to think that his immaturity played a big role in his hurtful actions. All I know is that forgiveness makes life easier for the one who forgives. And Forgiveness applies not only to the other person but to us as well. This is particularly crucial in a moment like this, that will require all of us to be up to the challenge of helping rebuild our communities when all these is over.

I would like to stress the importance of giving the people that care about you, space and time they deserve. For me, the support from family, friends, flatmates and lectures has been crucial in this process.

Thanks for all the kind words, laughter and actions.

Finally, I’ve realized that life has funny ways to teach us lessons and when we are not ready to listen, it goes to extremes to force us to do so. I guess my lesson here was probably not to focus on finding the right person but to be the right person, for myself, to move on.

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YOUR YARNS

During the last summer holidays, I was sitting on a forklift driving around in circles trying to save as much money as I could for the coming year while still trying to maintain some sort sanity.

However, the drive to be back in the mountains was almost as excruciating as the days drifted by. To make matters worse, when I did find out that I had almost a week off work and conditions in the hills were perfect, my climbing partner was otherwise occupied in Australia watching the tennis with his ‘Mrs’. I really felt luck wasn’t going to be on my side this time, but after a typical scroll through my Facebook feed all my luck changed. A young guy from Sweden had just posted that he was dead keen to give Mt Cook a crack and just needed a partner. He sounded experienced, and so after a quick message and an hour and a half phone call I decided I was going to meet him in Mt Cook village that night. Chucking all my gear in the back of the Subaru, and then a quick dash to the supermarket I left Christchurch for Mt Cook at 4pm on Wednesday 22nd. Anticipation built throughout the drive down, but as soon as lake Pukaki came into view with Mt Cook in the background a rush of adrenaline surged through me; and after one failed attempt already, I was biting at the bit to get back up there.

I meet up with Joda at Mt Cook village around 8.30pm, we soon realised that both of us were compatible and had the same ideals when it came to mountaineering.

Therefore, with intrepidation we geared up and set off into the dark not knowing how the next three days would play out.

After navigating the ball hut road for 3 hours we finally arrived at the hut around 1am. We decided to have a quick 2-hour nap here to recharge, as from experience the moraine wall to follow was going to get us worked.

After sleeping in only our jackets, we quickly set off again into the darkness.

We descended down onto the lower Tasman glacier and skirted along the edge of Ball glacier; this ends you up at the base of a 800m moraine wall, which for the most part is the steepest most unstable piece of shit wall you will ever step foot on.

You grimace your way up here for around 2 hours, absolutely hating your life but smiling the whole time. Eventually the sun rose just as we arrived at the base of the Boys glacier. Here Joda and I stopped to have a bite to eat and rope 24

RAM | Issue Three

up. We then trudged up the Boys glacier seamlessly, staying aware of overhanging cornices and avalanches, no dramas this time round.

It all goes quickly once you put your head down, and so very soon we were looking across to the infamous Caroline face of Mt Cook. From here you suddenly get a massive appreciation for this Massif and understand why there is such a draw for the mountain. Maybe another 2 hours later of descending and climbing you arrive at Cinerama Col on the edge of the Grand Plateau. “Holy shit”, were the first words I managed I think, it’s pretty surreal to be standing underneath the 5 tallest peaks in New Zealand all at once.

The next hour to Plateau Hut goes by breathlessly as you just take in the whole landscape around you. After getting situated in the hut, we had a mean feed and were even able to get our tan on outside the hut on a neighbouring rock. As the day drew on, we watched as ice seracs fell and whole parts of the mountain fell to pieces. Its scary to listen to the whole mountain breaking apart, there’s just hope that during the night it all freezes back up and there is somewhat of a glue holding it all back together when you walk below it. We went to bed early that night as alarms were set for 11pm.

avoid the ‘Gunbarrel’s’ at all costs, as they are very prone to falling and wiping out everything in their path. Although, when conditions are perfect, they pose an excellent alternative climbing option for more experienced and stronger climbers.

So, with intrepidation we continued up.

The climbing felt very secure as Joda and I soloed up the steepening ice, sections of the climb we estimated would class as waterfall ice 3 (WI3). After inspecting the guidebook later, we found out that the direct line we took which stays away from the rock buttresses on either side has yet to be named and graded, who knows potential first ascent?? (FA) but I doubt it…

Moving on over the last major 5m tall ice step and daggering up the last bit of firm snow we successfully had climbed the Gunbarrel’s and crested somewhere high on the Zurbriggen Ridge, just below the summit ice cap. By this point the colours in the sky began to light up the southern alps in all its beauty and grandeur. After not having a rope on for the soloing, we once again donned the rope to keep us safe for the final 100m of ascent to the summit.

We arrived at the climber’s summit of Aoraki Mt Cook (3724m) at 06:10am 24/01/2020, 6 days following my 21st Birthday.

Summit day began at midnight underneath the stars, conditions were calm and cold, so we felt extremely confident that a summit was going to be possible. We first crossed the Grand Plateau and the repetitive crunch of crampons on ice gave us piece of mind. Things went well during the first couple of hours as we navigated our way up of the plateau and onto the lower Linda glacier. With warmer weather conditions occurring over the past week, it was obvious why guiding parties had stopped the weekend prior; huge parts of the glacier had begun deteriorating badly, crevasses became very prominent and often difficult to cross, in our opinion the Linda would have been completely cut off within the next week. Any way we made light work of the broken-up glacier and quickly made it up to where we believed the Summit rocks would begin.

It’s a pretty special feeling to be standing quietly on the tallest point in New Zealand, with only your mate, your thoughts and the wind to keep you company.

In my mind this summit has really been a culmination of all the years of hard work and suffering I have been through in the hills. It does take time to reach a goal and in this case two attempts; but it was hands down the best all round trip of my life, and I know it will be extremely hard to beat.

However, what we didn’t anticipate was how disorienting the glacier becomes when travelling in the dark. Un beknown to us at the time, we had begun climbing up the infamous ‘Gunbarrel’ serac.

Generally, most parties who climb Mt Cook

Mason Gardener

Finally, the mountains are inherently dangerous, so for anyone thinking of getting fizzy in the hills following lockdown (I know I’m one of them) just make sure you keep it safe. Push your limits but stay controlled, do your research, but most of all make sure you have fun out there; New Zealand is one of the best playgrounds in the world!!

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The Reviewer Section

The Outsider NEON

The Health Code

by Sarah’s Day and Kurt Tilse

If you’re ready for a new show to binge and you’re up for some serious creepiness HBO’s adaption of the Stephen King novel The Outsider is just for you. This is a thriller, it’s a whodunnit or perhaps more accurately is it a whatdunnit?

I love listening to podcasts and listen to them regularly, but I tend to struggle in finding ones that I relate to.

I’m loving this TV show. I think this show is a rare instance of “the movie/show is better than the book”, especially for a Stephen King flick. Usually his books are much better than the movies. Truth be told I have always felt that to capture King’s story essence it can’t be essentially developed into a 3-hour long movie. It needs a series with episodes to manifest each character’s thorough development, the way king does it. This series has managed to capture the eerie feeling without even a hint of disturbing image or jump scare. True horror is portrayed beautifully. Speechless.

It keeps you wanting more. The supernatural entity is made more frightening by being kept in the shadows, only fully revealed when it takes on the form of the other characters.

It can be anyone, any where at any time and it’s chameleon abilities is what makes it so terrifying.

Go and watch this asap!

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I was going through the Top Charts list and came upon The Health Code with Sarah and Kurt and let me tell you, I’m obsessed! And before I get started, this one is not just for the ladies, there is some great stuff in here for the lads too.

Sarah and Kurt’s podcast is the perfect mix of playful banter, laughter and serious topics that keeps you interested and entertained for hours, literally. They have really useful tips about health, fitness, career, relationships and life but not in a preachy way, it’s positive engaging and witty.

The best part about their poddy is that it is just like overhearing a conversation between to close people which makes it super easy to listen to, and easily relatable!

This is definitely worth a listen, and there are already 37 episodes, totally binge worthy!

RAM | Issue Three

Aries

Libra

Taurus

Scorpio

Gemini

Sagittarius

Cancer

Capricorn

Leo

Aquarius

Virgo

Pisces

March 21 – April 19 If you don’t succeed, try, try, try again.

After the fourth try, however, you should kick back, have a beer and figure out why success eludes you like a greased pig before you wrestle with it once more.

April 20 – May 20 Whenever you feel alone, remember that you have 67 followers on Instagram. Odds are at least one of them is a real person, but the others are spambots trying to sell you naughty videos and real estate.

May 21 – June 20 An opportunity falls from the sky on Wednesday. Step aside, just in case it’s a meteorite. Pounce on it before it cools off, or someone else might nab your treasure.

June 21 – July 22 Facing your fears isn’t fun, but it beats having them sneak up and bite you in the butt. Grab a rolled-up newspaper and conquer those personal demons while you still have a bit of booty left.

July 23 – August 22 Reality isn’t a constant for you. It’s an outfit: sometimes you wear it, sometimes you don’t. Kick back in your boxer shorts for a few days. All the suits will be envious.

August 23 – September 22 If life feels too rough, drink more coffee. It’s the one substance that can transform you from a grizzly bear to a Care Bear without any collateral damage.

September 23 – October 22 You will find your soulmate this week. Look to your left. You will be passionately kissing that person by the end of the year. If there’s nobody sitting there…Well, sucks to be you I guess. #sadface

October 23 – November 21 Winter is a time of reflection, but you’re overdoing it by kissing yourself in the mirror like an amorous parakeet. Try spending some time with your thoughts so they won’t feel so scared and alone.

November 22 – December 21 Every day, you take one step forward, two steps back. You may not make progress, but your dance moves are improving. Throw some hip action into your routine tomorrow.

December 22 – January 19 You have a sense of relaxation and relief.

Either you’ve found inner peace or you’ve simply forgotten everything you were supposed to do today. Enjoy this moment before the panic sets in.

January 20 – February 18 Feeling lost in the universe? No one else knows what the heck they’re doing, either.

That’s why there are so many videos of people falling off tables on YouTube. Watch those for a few minutes and you’ll feel like a genius.

February 19 – March 20 What you want is just within reach, but you can’t stretch any farther or you’ll fall. Don’t despair, just buy one of those grabber claws and snatch victory from the snarky jaws of defeat.

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