“All I want, is a chance to talk it out” —El’s mother, The Disappearance of Eleanor Rigby: Him
The Reason The Thoughts The Menu Deviled Eggs Mushroom Soup Goulash Sacher Torte
But we did not talked about it. Everything is just paused… hanging there, in the air, like a ghost. And I am caged in the past. I need to set myself free, I need to do something— a ceremony sort of. Like you would often see in movies, something need to be done so that the stubborn trapped-in-themundane-world ghost would finally go to where it belongs. So this is my plan for the already-dead something—whatever you would call it. I am going to give it a proper closure and end it as the way it started— a meal. This is my way of ceremony.
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The Reason The Thoughts The Menu Deviled Eggs Mushroom Soup Goulash Sacher Torte
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First Dish
The Recipe: 1. some hard boiled eggs 2. some mayonnaise 3. some yellow mustard 4. some finely chopped onions 5. a little bit of nutmeg 5. some finely chopped chives and paprika for garnish How: 1. hard boil the eggs; 2. cut the eggs into half; 3. scoop out the yolk; 4. mix the yolk with all the other ingredients; 5. refill the egg whites with the mixtures.
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Deviled eggs are hard-boiled shelled eggs that are cut into half, filled with the previously removed hard-boiled egg’s yolk that mixed with mayonnaise and mustard.
mustard, peppers or other ingredients stuffed in the yolk cavity. Some religion people will rename them such as “stuffed eggs”, “salad eggs” or even “angel eggs” to avoid the name “devil”.
He loved my deviled eggs. That summer,
I don’t think God care about what you
I hosted a house gathering. He was one of
would name your food. In fact, the way to
my guests. I prepared deviled eggs along
make deviled eggs is kind of devilish—you
with other finger food as appetizer. He told
scoop out the yolk completely from the
me excitedly that how much he loved
eggs, mix them with whatever you want
eggs. And he really meant it, because later
and put them back. Well, I don’t really
when we hanged out, I often noticed that
care much about the scooping part in
he would say “Oh my God, I’m so happy
general. But this time, I found myself
right now” whenever he was served with
being really gentle when I scooped out
either egg sandwiches or scrambled eggs.
the egg yolk. I could feel it.
The term “deviled” in reference to food was in use in the 18th century, according to a print reference appearing in 1786. In the 19th century, it came to be used most often with spicy or zesty food, including eggs prepared with
“There’s only one heart in this body. Have mercy on me” —Conor, The Disappearance of Eleanor Rigby: Him
screw it, you screw all…
I mean, the timing really matters. You
Hard boil the eggs for 10 minutes or a bit longer. The timing is important. If under cooked, you will have a hard time to peel off the egg shells; other wise, you will get dry egg yolk and you won’t be happy about that either.
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think about that. I am not ready yet.
won’t be the same anymore. And I hate to
But it will be all different, then. Things
Be gentle when scooping the egg yolk out off the egg white. You might broke the egg white. If you do, then chop the egg white as well and mix everything all together and you will still have some nice egg salad to topping you crackers.
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The Reason
The Thoughts
The Menu
Deviled Eggs
Mushroom Soup
Goulash
Sacher Torte
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The Reason The Thoughts The Menu Deviled Eggs Mushroom Soup Goulash Sacher Torte
—Me yelling out loud in my mind
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Second Dish
The Recipe: 1. mushroom, as much as you like 2. some finely cut onions, half amount of the mushroom, maybe… 3. some carrots 4. some potatoes 5. a little bit cilantro 6. some cream 7. some chicken broth 8. some butter How: 1. cook the carrot and potatoes with the chicken broth; 2. sauté the mushroom with butter and onions for a bit while; 3. add the sautéed mushroom into the carrot and potato soup; 4. add some cream into the soup and that’s it.
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stupid carrots, now.
I screwed up. I am no more than some
the potatoes would be good enough…but
I could had be the mushrooms, or even
Different ingredients have different roles. The mushrooms are the main character, of course. The Cilantro give the soup some flavor and also are the final garnish. The onions and potatoes could enrich the soup with a slick texture. The carrots, in the other hand, are not really necessary, except lightening up the soup with some bright color.
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The Reason
Then he tasted the beef lasagne and laughed, “what! There are mushroom… oh, Lynn you just cooked all my favorite food…” The second thing that I remembered from that summer gathering was that he also liked mushroom. Hope he would like the Gourmet Mushroom
Some food are easy. You could get the flavor out of them simply by hard boiling them. Some food, like mushroom for instant, you need to sauté them with onions and butter, by using low heat.
The Thoughts The Menu Deviled Eggs Mushroom Soup Goulash Sacher Torte
Some people are more easy going; some
soup, then.
It isn’t difficult to make mushroom soup, I could have just put everything in the chicken broth and boil them. But I’d rather to do better than that. The trick to make good mushroom soup is to be patient, treat different ingredients differently. Well, basically this principle applies to all kinds of cooking. Relationship between people as well.
people are more difficult to deal with. You could mess around with some guys and they will be fine; yet some person are more sensitive and require more carefulness. Some people are always happy, some people are just difficult to please… “Nothing is good enough to you, Lynn.” He said this to me once. I guess he was right, I am a difficult person, eventually.
“It’s funny how a person just by living, can damage another person beyond repair.”
—Alexis, The Disappearance of Eleanor Rigby: Him
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The Reason The Thoughts The Menu Deviled Eggs Mushroom Soup Goulash Sacher Torte
—Me sobbing and regretting
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Mushroom describes a variety of gilled fungi, with or without stems. They are known as the "meat" of the vegetable world. A number of species of mushrooms are poisonous. Although some resemble certain edible species, consuming them could be fatal. There is no single trait by which all toxic mushrooms can be identified, nor one by which all edible mushrooms could be identified. Even edible mushrooms will likely produce allergic reactions in susceptible individuals, from a mild asthmatic response to severe anaphylactic shock. Although there are only a small number of deadly species, a few others can cause particularly severe and unpleasant symptoms. Toxicity likely plays a role in protecting the function of the basidiocarp—the mycelium has expended considerable energy and protoplasmic material to develop a certain structure to efficiently distribute its spores. Even the poisonous mushrooms are toxic for a reason. What was my reason to be such a toxic person, then? Why I had to be so unreasonable and mean? Why I had to screw up and mess up with him?
The Reason The Thoughts The Menu Deviled Eggs Mushroom Soup Goulash Sacher Torte
“You shouldn’t be interesting in regretting things”
—Conor’s father, The Disappearance of Eleanor Rigby: Him
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Third Dish
The Recipe: 1. beef for stew, as much as you could eat 2. a lot of onions, as much amount as the beef, could be even more 3. some thymes and parsley 4. some beef broth, or beef stock 5. some paprika 6. some potatoes for mashed potato if you feel like to How: 1. sauté the finely sliced onions until they are creamy and soft; 2. add the beef with the paprika and cook for a while; 3. … I don’t think I want to explain the whole shebang.
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Goulash is a soup or stew of meat with vegetables, seasoned with paprika and other spices. Originating from the medieval Kingdom of Hungary, goulash is also a popular meal in Central Europe, Scandinavia and Southern Europe. I make really good Goulash. I learned it from a cafe-restaurant that I used to work for when I lived in Shanghai. The owner is from Vienna. It was an open kitchen that I worked in. I also waited the tables outside sometimes because I made friends with many customers and I loved talking with them for once a while. That has been the best time in my life so far. Just imagine that, a small Austrian style cafe-restaurant, hiding in a quiet, almost secret lane in the big city of Shanghai, opens its door to writers, film makers, painters and other weired, interesting people from all over the world. There were many stories happened in this small place. And I am part of the stories
when people mentioned about their experience in Shanghai and their memories about the cafe. I so much wanted to tell him stories about Shanghai, about the cafe and the food that I made there. But I have not, because I thought I would have many chances to do that in the future anyway. Even worse, I didn’t get to make him the famous Goulash either. Urh…
Most recipes will tell you to put flours or starches, as a way to thicken the soup, or stew. I don’t do that. That is kind of faking and cheating. I don’t fake, and dislike cheating. I always try to be honest to my own feeling. That’s why I get really emotional, or even worse, unreasonable.
Right, I meant I don’t put flours or starches to my soup and stew. My secret weapon is to add lots of sautéed onions—as much amount as the meat.
“We all know a little something about sadness, or whatever you want to call it…”
The Reason The Thoughts The Menu Deviled Eggs Mushroom Soup Goulash Sacher Torte
“Yeah…well, I want to know a little less about it.”
—Father & Son , The Disappearance of Eleanor Rigby: Him
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Onion is my favorite cooking ingredient. It has many interesting characters that make it almost like a person, an interesting person. It has a dry crispy skin, or shell to protect itself from pest. I like peeling it and hearing the crispy noise from the peeling. Underneath the skin, there are many layers of fruity meat. I like slicing them with a good sharp knife so that the slices are very thin, almost like transparent. Whenever I dice them or slice them, I very much enjoy the patterns from the inside layers. Then the best part—after well cooked, it become soggy and creamy, which allow it to enrich your soup or stew with a slick texture. Usually when you dice or slice the onions, they will bring you tears. You’d thought it such a spicy bitch, but it is more than what it appears. If only you’d stayed longer, sautéed the slices with oil or butter, and you’d witnessed how it let go its sharpness and provide a sweet taste. Then you’d seen its softies. But you’d chosen to walk away!
The Reason The Thoughts The Menu Deviled Eggs Mushroom Soup Goulash Sacher Torte
“It isn’t your job to investigate the expanse of memory—that’s called ‘the past’, and judge what is right, and what is wrong…”
—Conor’s father, The Disappearance of Eleanor Rigby: Him
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The Reason The Thoughts The Menu Deviled Eggs Mushroom Soup Goulash Sacher Torte
—Me arguing meaninglessly 32 | 33
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Forth Dish
The Recipe: 1. eggs 2. butter 3. flour 4. dark chocolates 5. powdered sugar 6. baking powder 7. apricot jam How: It is complicated‌
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No matter how sad or confused I was, I always remember his goodness. I regret, but I don’t hate. Him, in opposite, he could not forgive. He acts like he was the only one got hurt, and if I was hurt, I deserved it. How bitterness it is‌
A good dark chocolate combines rich bitterness with a subtle taste of sour and sweet. It is like memory. Memory has never come along purely sad or happy. They usually leave you either a sweet sadness, or a sad sweetness.
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The Reason The Thoughts The Menu Deviled Eggs Mushroom Soup Goulash Sacher Torte
“I was going to say something really good. And it would have solved all our problems and made everything all better. I just forgot what it was.”
—Conor, The Disappearance of Eleanor Rigby: Her
Sacher Torte is a specific type of dark chocolate cake invented by Austrian Franz Sacher in 1832 for Prince Wenzel von Metternich in Vienna. It is one of the most famous Viennese culinary specialties. The cake consists of a dense chocolate cake meringue based with a thin layer of apricot jam on top, coated in dark chocolate icing on the top and sides. It is traditionally served with unsweetened whipped cream. In general, there are three different ways to make cakes. The way to make Sacher Torte is a complicating one. Firstly, you need to separate the egg yokes from the egg white carefully. The egg white need to be kept clean and cool. Then, You beat the sugar with the room temperature soft butter until they get creamy. After that, you add the egg yokes one by one, keep beating until the mixture get creamy, again. Now, you will add in the melted dark chocolate that you have prepared previously and well mix them. Well, it is all about well beating, getting creamy. But when you add in the flour and the baking powder, you need to kind of fold them in gently. No more beating, but still need to well mixing. Well, then you
start beating again. You will beat the liquid egg white until they get puffy and creamy. Finally, you will gently fold the puffy egg white into the mixture, and that’s it—send it to the oven and bake it for about 45 minutes or so. I could have chosen to make any cakes with a simple easy recipe, but I like making Sacher Torte for people I care. I enjoy all these complicating and tedious steps of beating and folding. I love to release my love into these well beating and gentle folding process. I don’t think I’ve ever failed to make a good Sacher Torte. But I screwed up a relationship. Apparently, making Sacher Torte is way easier than keeping a guy. We had a lunch together the other day. He still held bitterness toward me and again he blamed me for being mean to him, which resulted in whatever happened afterward. Does one holding such bitterness deserves a good meal that I prepare with love? NOPE! I should share my meal, my ceremony with my friends, who love me indeed. 38 | 39
The Reason The Thoughts The Menu Deviled Eggs Mushroom Soup Goulash Sacher Torte
—Me waking up my dignity
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The Reason The Thoughts The Menu Deviled Eggs Mushroom Soup Goulash Sacher Torte
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“Want to say a couple of words for closure’s sake?” “Does that ever really close anything?”
Father & Son: The Disappearance of Eleanor Rigby: Him
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