Brent e book

adopt Brent

You can change a child’s life call 020 8937 4525 www.brent.gov.uk/adoption

Library photo posed by models. Š John Birdsall, Photofusion.

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1

Family Matters

OCTOBER 31 - NOVEMBER 6, 2013 THE VOICE | 41

ADVERTORIAL

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elcome to the first instalment in a four week special about adoption in Brent. Over the next four weeks, we will be covering different aspects of adoption and the support available.

THIS WEEK: t 3FBTPOT XIZ DIJMESFO BSF JO DBSF t &MJHJCJMJUZ t .ZUI CVTUFST REASONS WHY CHILDREN ARE IN CARE? Children in the care of local authorities are one of the most vulnerable groups in society.

The majority of children in care will have suffered abuse or neglect. All of them will have experienced separation; loss and instability at a young age and often feel rejected and responsible for their situation. For some of these children, adoption offers the stability and security that they desperately need as well as the opportunity to grow up in a permanent loving family.

There are currently around 4,000 children across the UK waiting for a new adoptive family from a wide range of different backgrounds and with

varying needs.

WHO ARE THE CHILDREN WAITING FOR ADOPTIVE FAMILIES? In Brent the majority of children in care live with foster carers. As Brent has one of the most diverse populations in the UK, most of the children in the care of Brent are from Black African, Black British Caribbean or mixed heritage backgrounds.

Whilst we make every effort to return the child to their birth family if at all possible, sometimes this is not an option and in these circumstances adoption is considered as an alternative permanent plan.

Some of the children needing to be adopted in Brent are of primary school age and many of them are in sibling groups of two or three who need to be placed together. Sadly some groups of siblings have to be split up because no suitable adoptive families come forward to offer a home for them. Some have physical and/or learning disabilities, and others because of neglect in their early years or drug or alcohol use during pregnancy have developmental problems and a degree of future uncertainty.

A child’s new adoptive family need to have lots of energy, time and understanding in or-

der to be able to meet all their competing and sometimes complex needs. In Brent we endeavour to find adopters who reflect or can promote a child’s racial, cultural and religious backgrounds.

ELIGIBILITY People from all walks of life can adopt.

Adopters can be: 1. Single or a couple (including same-sex couples).

2. From any racial, cultural or religious background.

3. Either employed or on benefits and, 4. You don’t need to own your own home.

5. You do need to be over 21 but there is no statutory upper age limit.

3. I can’t adopt because I’m gay.

Sexuality is not a barrier to adoption and Brent has Lesbian and Gay adopters’ as well as heterosexual adopters.

4. I work full time so I’m not allowed to adopt/I’m unemployed or too poor to adopt.

Your financial circumstances and employment status will need to be considered as part of an adoption assessment, but low income or your employment status do not automatically rule you out. You can be an adoptive parent while on benefits so long as you can financially provide for a child.

MYTH BUSTERS 1. I’m single, so I can’t adopt.

Single people can adopt, whatever their gender.

Many single people have successfully adopted children but it is important that they have a good support network.

5. I can’t adopt because I have a criminal record.

If you have a criminal caution or conviction for offences against children or offences of a sexual nature then you will not be able to adopt but, with the exception of these specified offences, a criminal record will not necessarily rule you out.

The key is to be totally honest in your application.

2. I’m too old to adopt.

Adopters need to be over 21 but there is no statutory upper age limit. However, we will expect you to have the health, mobility and vitality to see your children through to an age of independence. Consideration will be given to your age comparative to the age of the child you want to adopt.

6. I have children living at home, so I won’t be able to adopt.

Not true. Having children of your own (of any age) will certainly not exclude you from adopting, whether they are living at home with you or have grown up. Consideration will, however, be given to the age gap between your own children

and the age of the child(ren) you wish to adopt and the position of each child within the family in accordance with the child(ren)s’ needs.

Children over 16 will usually be police checked, as will any other adult member of your household.

7. I won’t be allowed to adopt because I can’t have my own children.

It is really important that anyone wanting to be an adoptive parent understands their own motivations. We will expect you to discuss both emotional and medical issues with us.

If you have had or are undergoing fertility treatment we will expect you to complete any medical investigations and fertility treatments before considering adoption. The emotional demands in pursuing either route to parenthood can be great and doing both in tandem is not encouraged.

8. I can’t adopt because I smoke.

Smoking will not necessarily rule you out from adopting.

Consideration will be given to this and to all health and lifestyle related issues and we will want to know of any specific health risks to you or to the children who may be placed in your care.

There is no single national policy on smoking; however according to national medical advice children under five and

those with particular medical conditions should not be placed in smoking households. You will usually need to be smokefree for at least six months before adoption from these groups can be considered.

9. I am disabled so will not be allowed to adopt.

Being disabled should not automatically exclude anyone from becoming an adopter and it is widely recognised that disabled people can often provide a very loving home for a child.

Disability is only one of the many issues that will be considered by us so don’t rule yourself out before you have had a conversation with us.

10. I can’t adopt a child from a different ethnic background.

Not true. The aim for everyone in the adoption system is to find loving suitable families for each child in need of a happy future, even if there is not a perfect racial and cultural match. However, a child’s identity is very important and you must have an understanding of the challenges of raising a child of a different ethnicity and the ability to promote their racial, cultural and religious background.

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2 ADVERTORIAL

NOVEMBER 7 -13, 2013 THE VOICE | 11

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elcome to the second instalment in a four week special about adoption in Brent and the support available.

Chantelle, Ryan and Cherise are a sibling group of three children who are of Black British/Jamaican heritage.

Could you give them a home?

is a smiley 4 year old. She is doing well at nursery and has made many friends there. She loves cuddles and attention and has a determined attitude to life. She loves to be active most of the time but at other times she can be pensive and likes to have quiet time and space to herself. Chantelle loves looking at books,

Q Chantelle

drawing , dancing and dressing up like a princess, but most of all she loves playing outdoors!

Q Ryan

is a sensitive 3 year old boy who loves to be praised and cuddled. He is robust and competitive and can be noisy; as expected of a little boy of his age. He loves riding his trike and kicking his football into his goal net. Ryan loves listening to music and dancing; he has a good sense of rhythm! He is doing well at nursery and enjoys socialising with children and adults. Positively, he is starting to open up and talk to his carers about his experiences and worries.

Q Cherise is 2 years old. She loves to look pretty and dress up, but she is also very comfortable playing rough and climbing everything in sight.

Cherise eats well and sleeps throughout the night. Her carers describe her as a clever little girl, and say that with good guidance, she can go far!

Chantelle, Ryan and Cherise have been with the same foster carer for a year and are thriving there. Whilst living with both parents, the children witnessed domestic violence and suffered neglect and emotional

abuse. However, the children’s behaviour is not difficult to manage and their carers report that they are beautiful children who are a pleasure to care for and that they respond to boundaries, as long as there is consistency.

We would like to place the three children together, with adopters who can provide them with a safe, secure and loving home. The adopters will need to have lots of energy and the ability to meet the children’s physical, emotional and psychological needs and be able to promote a positive sense of identity.

Q Joshua

is a gorgeous 2 year old boy. He is active, engaging and bubbly. He interacts well with both adults and children.

Joshua is settled, has a secure attachment with his current carer and he is flourishing.

He gets on very well with his carer’s children. He is currently meeting his developmental milestones and there are no concerns regarding his health.

He is very active and he eats and sleeps well.

Joshua’s birth mother is white Irish and his birth father is black Nigerian. The parents have not prescribed a religion for him, preferring that

he chooses for himself when he grows up. Joshua’s birth mother is known to have used drugs throughout her pregnancy and Joshua was born with mild withdrawal symptoms.

Joshua is subject to a Placement Order. He has older brothers and sisters who are placed with different foster carers. The children currently see each other twice a month.

Recommendations on their future contact as siblings will be provided.

We are ideally looking for an adoptive family of one or two parents, who will be able to offer warmth, love and a good home. We would ideally like to consider a family who can reflect Joshua’s racial and cultural heritage, but we can also consider a family who can positively promote this.

Adopters also need to be able to accept a certain level of uncertainty in terms of Joshua’s future development.

Please note that the above profiles are fictitious but do illustrate the types of Brent children needing adoptive homes.

THE NEW ADOPTION PROCESS The adoption process in Brent In July 2013, the government introduced a new assess-

ment process in a bid to reduce the time taken to assess prospective adopters which was seen as a huge barrier towards people coming forward. There is now a new two stage process which lasts approximately 6 months.

Once you have registered interest with an agency about adoption, and if this registration is accepted there is now an initial stage in which a series of police, health and reference checks are done and prospective adopters undertake their own research and preparation and set homework. This first stage should only take two months, and at the end of it the prospective adopters will receive a written decision on whether they can proceed to stage two. The second stage (which should take about four months) is when your allocated social worker will meet with you to undertake the full adoption assessment. This stage also includes a period of training and preparation for the prospective adopters.

culture and religion, any skills in relation to caring for children and the effect of adoption on you and your family. Your completed Prospective Adopters’ Report will then be presented to the Adoption Panel, who will make a recommendation about your suitability to adopt.

THE PROSPECTIVE ADOPTERS’ REPORT: The Prospective Adopter’s report is very detailed and includes information on your background, your way of life,

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THE ADOPTION PANEL: The Adoption Panel is a group of people with considerable experience of adoption and childcare. The composition of the panel is regulated by the Adoption Agency Regulations and has four independent members. They will review your case and make recommendations on whether to approve you as an adopter.

AFTER APPROVAL: Once you have been approved as an adopter your Adoption Social Worker will help you to identify a child/children who is/are a suitable match for you.

3 ADVERTORIAL

NOVEMBER 14 -20, 2013 THE VOICE | 29

We are family Welcome to the third instalment in a four week special about adoption in Brent and the support available.

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ecoming an adoptive parent was a dream I never thought I would realise. Matter of fact if anyone had predicted three years ago that I would be an adoptive parent now in the relative short time it has taken, I would have laughed hard in their face and told them to try a much more realistic prediction. Back then I was guilty of believing one of the biggest misconceptions about adoption. I thought the assessment was too challenging, expensive and intrusive; one that would turn my already busy lifestyle into a chaotic nightmare. All these turned out to be rather untrue of course.

Over time my partner and I had discussed means of becom-

ing parents; adoption, surrogacy, shared-parenting, etc., but we always favoured adoption as the most straight forward option. After months of procrastinating, we decided to attend an adoption information evening organised by our local authority, the London Borough of Brent. We went primarily because it was free and we thought it would help us make informed decisions about moving forward. The relaxed atmosphere and the diversity of attendees at the information evening was our first real eye opener. We left knowing that adoption was truly the way forward for us.

Four months later after much thought, we informed Brent that we would like to adopt.

Our initial visit was carried out by a senior social worker who later turned out to be our assessing social worker. I remember feeling incredibly nervous and apprehensive at first but our social worker was very friendly and open-minded and seeing that immediately put me at ease. The very first stage of the assessment included a fourday preparation group which I found very informative and

stimulating. I learned about the adoption process including why children are up for adoption, and the issues that may arise as a result. I also had the opportunity to meet other social workers in Brent’s adoption team, and share experiences with other prospective adopters, some of whom my partner and I have remained friends with.

After the preparation group, we commenced the ‘home study’ portion of the assessment. This lasted approximately eight months and involved regular meetings with our social worker to discuss our families, childhood, future aspirations and other personal information.

My partner and I were encouraged to be open and honest but that was not so difficult because we were so comfortable with our social worker every time he visited it was like having an old friend around.

We were approved at adoption panel in March 2012 and I remember being so overwhelmed with emotion I was in tears. Not long after our approval our social worker informed us we had been matched and showed us a picture of our child. As soon as my partner

and I saw him, we knew he was the one for us even though we had never physically met. At that point other social workers became a lot more involved in our case. We found them all just as approachable and friendly as our social worker and were impressed by how seamlessly they worked together to ensure we received all the information we required about our son. Two months later we were back at matching panel and were unanimously approved to commence placement. The elation we felt at how far we had come is indescribable.

I still remember the first time we met our son like it was yesterday. I did not sleep the night before and my mind was beating fast as we knocked on his foster carer’s door. When the door opened, he was in his foster career’s arm staring at us from inside the house with the most curious look in his big brown eyes. Our hearts melted immediately and I can definitely say it was love at first sight. Over the next few days we spent quality time in each other’s company bonding and just over a week later, he moved in with us.

The first few weeks were very difficult because our son had been with his foster family since birth and was just getting to know us. The hardest part was getting him to settle at night but we were totally prepared for this thanks to the support and literature our social worker had provided. In time as

our son’s confidence in his new family and environment grew, he started to settle easily. Since then I have witnessed numerous milestones including his first unaided step and words.

The first time he called me daddy I was so happy I literally jumped for joy. When I look at him I realise how lucky I am.

He is thriving, content and doing so well he fills me with so much pride.

Our son has lived with us over a year now and in that period, a lot has happened. He has made new friends, grown in confidence and is currently in the terrible twos phase. But best of all, his adoption has been finalised. He is also talking a lot now and just as my partner and I continue to teach him about himself, he continues to teach us about ourselves in return. At the beginning of the adoption process we like many others assumed adoption was full of unwanted children from troubled backgrounds based on the stories we had heard. Looking at our son now, all we see is a lucky young child who is just as wonderful as the next child.

Where he came from is his own unique story. Everybody has one. It makes for more interesting future conversations.

While my adoption journey has been pleasant, I did have some challenges to overcome along the way. A major part of these stemmed from issues surrounding stigmatization which remains a big issue within the ethnic minority community of

which, I am a part. As a result of our adoption, my dad and certain members of my family stopped talking to me. It was disappointing but I have the support of my mum and sister and although they live abroad and have not met my son yet, they are very fond of him and call regularly to see how he is doing. Also the help and support of some of my friends cannot be forgotten. A lot of what they did motivated me to press on during challenging times and it is always a pleasure to meet them now for play dates with my son.

Thinking back now adopting my son is one of the best things I have ever done. He brings me joy and I feel a great sense of pride and achievement every time he accomplishes yet another milestone. That good feeling coupled with the experience I have had with the London Borough of Brent means my partner and I are already talking about putting ourselves forward again for our next child. Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams�. It took me a while to start believing in my dreams. Once I did, my dreams became my reality.

Q To find out more about adoption in Brent contact: F BEPQUJPO!CSFOU HPW VL U X XXX CSFOU HPW VL BEPQUJPO

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NOVEMBER 21 -27, 2013 THE VOICE | 29

We are family

are either approved by consortium agencies to adopt Black children, or are Black adopters living within consortium boroughs and eligible for post adoption support from these agencies. The group will provide Black adopters with opportunities to meet and share concerns, strategies and resources, in an enabling and supportive environment. www.baaf.org.uk/

Welcome to the last instalment of our four week special about adoption in Brent and the support available..

THIS WEEK CHILDREN ADOPTED From care can have on-going needs and you and your child may benefit from support.

Adopters in England may be entitled to the following support:

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dopted children have priority access to schools, which means that your child should be given priority in terms of attending whichever school you think best meets their needs (www. gov.uk/schoolsadmissions).

From September 2014 adopted children will be entitled to free early year’s education from the age of two (tinyurl.com/ first4early).

Many adopters are entitled to

adoption leave and pay when their child is placed with them (www.gov.uk/adoption-payleave). The law is changing to make this entitlement more similar to maternity and paternity leave pay, and it will include the right to take time off when you are meeting your child, before they move in with you.

You are also entitled to full medical information about your child’s health before he or she is placed with you. In addition, a life-story book will be provided by the child’s social worker to help your child understand his or her early life.

In Brent we provide and fund a range of support services for adopted children.

THESE SUPPORT SERVICES CAN INCLUDE: s #OUNSELLING INFORMATION AND advice s (ELP WITH BEHAVIOURAL ATtachment and other problems s (ELP WITH CONTACT BETWEEN an adopted child and his or her birth family s -EETINGS AND EVENTS TO ENable groups of adopters and adoptive children to get togeth-

er training to help adopters to meet the needs of their adoptive child s (ELP WHERE AN ADOPTION placement runs into difficulties.

Access to these services depends on your circumstances and where you are living but you can ask for an assessment at any time, no matter how long after the adoption.

In Brent we also have an adoption support services adviser to help you access adoption support and other specialIST SERVICES SUCH AS #HILD AND !DOLESCENT -ENTAL (EALTH 3ERvices.

As the local authority that places the child with you, Brent is responsible for assessing your adoption support needs for three years after the adoption. After three years it becomes the responsibility of the local authority where you live (if different).

For more information please visit the first4adoption website: www.first4adoption.org.uk/ being-an-adoptive-parent/ the-adoption-passport/ The London borough of Brent is a member of the West Lon-

Adoption is a life long commitment and whilst bringing many challenges, it is hugely rewarding. We hope you’ve enjoyed our four week adoption special.

If you would like to speak with a duty social worker to ask any questions or discuss your own individual circumstances please contact us.

Monthly adoption information sessions are held at Brent #IVIC #ENTRE 0LEASE CONTACT US to book you a space.

don Adoption and Permanence #ONSORTIUM WHICH CONSISTS OF "RENT %ALING (ARROW (ILLINGDON (OUNSLOW AND THE 4RI BOROUGH +ENSINGTON AND #HELSEA (AMMERSMITH AND &ULHAM and Westminster, as well as 3 Voluntary adoption AgenCIES #ORAM 0!#4 AND THE )NTER COUNTRY !DOPTION #ENTRE By bringing together 8 Local authorities and 3 voluntary agencies the consortium can help make the best matches for children and adoptive families.

The consortium are currently involved in joint family finding initiatives such as profiling events and adoption activity days aswell as running regular training events for adopters.

West London Black Adopters Group BAAF (The British association for Fostering and Adoption) facilitates a support group specifically for Black adopTERS OF !FRICAN #ARIBBEAN AND Asian descents (including families with one Black parent) who

Thursday 7 November 2013 Thursday 5 December 2013 Thursday 6 February 2014 Q To find out more about adoption in Brent contact: e: adoption@brent.gov.uk t: 020 8937 4525 w: www.brent.gov.uk/adoption

adopt Brent

You can change a child’s life call 020 8937 4525 www.brent.gov.uk/adoption

Library photo posed by models. Š John Birdsall, Photofusion.

Get together and feel all right