Cast Away by Madeline Rose Schroeder

Distributed to the Stapleton, Park Hill, Lowry, Montclair, Mayfair, Hale and East Colfax neighborhoods DENVER, COLORADO

MARCH 2014

Introducing the Aurora Arts District

Executive Producer Charles Packard and company members Patricia Wells (left) and Kelcey Pfluger (right) introduce the Aurora Fox Theater. This and the Vintage Theatre around the corner anchor the developing Aurora Arts District located only a few blocks from Stapleton.

By Laurie Dunklee nce seedy, downtrodden and crime-ridden, East Colfax in Aurora is transforming into a thriving arts district. Run-down pawn shops and drug dealers are giving way to a lively arts scene that includes multiple professional theaters, galleries, dance and arts education—all just minutes from Stapleton with the new roads that connect to Aurora.

Cast Away

Vintage Theatre, 1468 Dayton St., welcomed audiences totaling 13,000 this year, a 41 percent increase over last year. “Aurora has been great,” said Craig Bond, executive artistic producer. “The city is invested in helping cultural organizations grow.” More than 500 public performances are scheduled in the various (continued on page 38)

The isolating experience of divorce in Pleasantville

Behind the Scenes: Parks Planning at Stapleton Story on page 36. By Carol Roberts embers of Stapleton’s Parks Advisory Group are concerned and puzzled that the three-way balance in parks planning between Forest City, the City of Denver, and the advisory groups may change. Dennis Piper (above),

a landscape architect and parks planning expert who has worked closely with the community in the planning of Stapleton’s parks, has been told the parks consultant position will be terminated. At the time the paper went to press, it appeared alternative plans were being considered following an expression of support from the community.

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M Like Pleasantville, Stapleton is full of “picture-perfect” families. What happens when, as a divorced person, you no longer fit that image?

By Madeline Schroeder oung married couples have two children and a dog. Larger homes match the upper-middle-class incomes. It’s the land

of Priuses, CrossFit bodies, swimming pools and top-notch schools. Stapleton can appear as a Pleasantville-type suburbia, but where in this neighborhood (continued on page 6)

Stapleton: From Runways to Residences Developing a community of 30,000 residents over a 25-year period is complicated—there’s no way around it. We hope our

article on page 19 and chart on page 20 will help you make sense of the process, the entities and the acronyms.

Printed with soy-based ink. Paper contains 40% postconsumer waste.

High School Budget Woes

Izzi B Expands

Key Issues in Colorado

Maya Exhibit Opens

Kids Invent Holidays

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Divorce

jabber and talk in circles for hours.” Some friendships dropped off entirely, and (continued from page 1) By Madeline Schroed- couples having trouble in their relationships ignored er him—divorcees can be very frightening for couples oung married couples have two children considering divorce, according to Rogers. and a dog. Larger homes match the Rogers says it’s normal for friendships to change upper-middle-class incomes. It’s the land after a divorce because many couples may not know of Priuses, CrossFit bodies, swimming pools how to socialize with just one person in the split. and top-notch schools. Stapleton can appear as “If all your friends are couples and all they are a Pleasantville-type community, but where in doing is couple-oriented things, then you’ll feel this neighborhood do divorcees fit? like the third wheel,” Rogers says. “That’s okay as There are a growing number of divorced long as you’re working on something for your single people in Stapleton—a crack beginning to life.” Reentering the single world is like changing surface in the picture-perfect image. Going cultures, he says. through a divorce in any neighborhood is diffiAfter a couple of months, Vigil transitioned cult, but does living in this type of community his solitude into soul searching. “You just have make it worse? to be genuine to yourself and not get sucked into “In Stapleton you can feel ostracized, almost the pressure of the neighborhood. You realize that as though you have some kind of contagious what’s important are friends and family, not ‘Oh my disease other couples might get,” Nathan Vigil gosh, half my belongings are gone; half my bank says. account is gone.’” Vigil, 39, knows Stapleton from the beThese days, he can appreciate the place he’s at ginning. He moved to the in life, far from the nagging neighborhood in 2002 and fear of what the neighbor“In Stapleton you can feel for a long time matched the hood thinks of him. ostracized, almost as though you Stapleton image with two While Helen Thilly, have some kind of contagious kids and a happy marriage. LCSW, (Alder Grove disease other couples might get.” He told himself he was Wellness Group in Denver) never going to be one of believes staying close to the 50 percent of people in the U.S. who get a an existing support network is important, moving divorce. I’ll never let that happen, he thought. neighborhoods can be good for some people. He couldn’t imagine that life, especially living “I don’t know why anybody who didn’t have kids in Stapleton. would stay in a small community like Stapleton, “There is a lot of social pressure to put on unless they were super tied to it. It seems like it the front of the perfect person, from an appear- would be constant reminders and triggers.” ance standpoint,” he says about the neighborShe says even moving a little bit away can give a hood. Despite resistance, at times he has fallen fresh perspective. prey to that pressure. Thirty-year-old Lowry resident Samantha Welles When his 13-year marriage ended two and moved from a couple-oriented community in a half years ago, the pressure increased. Oh Northglenn after her divorce. my god, everyone in the neighborhood probably Before her divorce, her social life consisted of knows. Everyone’s talking about it, he feared. couples’ dinner parties and events. When Welles More than ever, he cared what people told the group she and her husband were separating, thought of him. “I nearly drove myself crazy friends tried to convince them to stay together to worrying what people thought, people I didn’t keep their network intact. even know.” He wondered if people thought “It felt like my divorce was very uncomfortable badly of him or assumed there was an affair. to everybody around me,” she says. Although he considered leaving the neighborShe couldn’t stand to stay in that proximity to hood for a fresh start, he stayed for his two couples she knew and moved early in the divorce to kids. live with her parents. Richard Rogers, of Rogers Therapy in Now remarried and a Lowry resident who is Cherry Creek, encourages staying in a neighalso familiar with Stapleton, Welles cannot imagine borhood, if possible, rather than leaping into a having gone through her divorce in a community brand-new life. “Creating a support network is like Lowry or Stapleton. a lifelong endeavor,” he says. “Being in Stapleton or Lowry would make it He emphasizes that life post divorce is a 100 times worse, being surrounded by the perfect process of changing your identity. After grievfamilies,” she says. ing the loss of a life pictured with your spouse, “It’d be so hard to stay. Neighbors might say you can slowly begin to build a single identity. they will support you, but once your perfect role “Depending on the marriage and the support has crumbled, they don’t want anything to do with network, it can take some time moving into a that.” different realm.” Lowry resident Ellen Kramer says it’s not just Once Vigil was single, he became hyper Stapleton or Lowry, but any family-oriented comaware of how many families and married coumunity. Once she and her husband were separating, ples live in the neighborhood. she felt like she no longer belonged in her neighborFor a time, he felt like the only single perhood. “Just being around a lot of families you feel a son in Stapleton. It seemed as if every event was stigma, you just do.” couple oriented. Oftentimes, he’d call friends During her divorce 10 years ago, she felt like she on Friday nights, forgetting they couldn’t get wore a scarlet letter. Suddenly, some parents didn’t away as easily because of a wife and kids. want their kids to play with her kids anymore. While some friends didn’t go beyond, “People I had been friends with for a long time were “You’ll get through it fine, buddy,” other afraid. They didn’t overtly say it, but I knew it was friends came over often and let Vigil “jibber because they were worried their kids would be nega-

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Many have called to ask about her experience. Besides a neighbor who ignored her after the divorce, Scott says she did not feel judged and says it’s a matter of perception how you get through it in the neighborhood. While she expresses a more positive experience with divorce in Stapleton, she can still testify to the painful change. “I would not sugar coat divorce. It’s hard; it’s hell.”

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tively influenced being around a divorced person.” Some moms wouldn’t let their teenage daughters over to babysit, and she sensed wives were uncomfortable with her talking to their husbands. “It’s like, please no, please don’t offend us in that way, while I’m just trying to get my life back together.” With little emotional support from friends or family, Kramer’s divorce felt particularly isolating. While many choose to move during a divorce for financial and emotional reasons, rediscovering happiness in the same community is possible. When 39-year-old Jillian Scott decided to get a divorce this past year, she considered leaving but said, “Heck no. This is my support system.” Scott says she has continued to have a great social life throughout her divorce, which will be finalized this May. She has continued to socialize with other couples. She spends some Saturday nights alone because her girlfriends are unavailable, but she recognizes time with their husbands is important. Many people have reached out to her, including wives considering leaving their husbands.

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Stapleton Front Porch 7

March 2014