Issue 15: Home and Belonging by PS Magazine

NO. 15 PS MAGA ZINE MARCH/APRIL 2016

MARCH/APRIL 2016 ISSUE 15

Home and Belonging Adult Coloring Books & Mindfulness

Giving Heirlooms New Meaning Americaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Great Historic Homes

DIANE REHM On Her Own An Exclusive Interview

SKINCARE

DEPARTMENTS 6 Remember When 10 Did You Know?

HOME & BELONGING March/April 2016 Issue 15

FEATURES

An Exclusive Interview Diane Rehm, On Her Own by CHRISTINA BURNS

12 Health & Wellness: Adult Coloring Books & Mindfulness 16 Life with The Eden Alternative: Home Is Where Well-Being Is 20 Tip of the Hat: A Long & Prosperous Friendship 24

26 LeadingAge & Aging Services: The Place They Call Home

Reducing Clutter: Giving Heirlooms New Meaning by MELISSA MAYNTZ

The Meaning of Home by ENUMA OKORO

Great Historic Homes of America

Facing Alzheimer’s with the Alzheimer’s Association: Expert Help for Families All Day, Every Day

IN EVERY ISSUE 4

Letter from the Publisher

48 Books: Behave by Andromeda Romano-Lax 49 Fun & Games 52

for (Grand) Children

56 Horoscopes 60 Puzzle Solutions 64 The Last Laugh

Right: The Mushroom Home, Milan, Italy, 1951. Italian architect Mario Cavallè built this house to have four rooms, kitchen, and bath, plus polka dots. PHOTO: BETTMANN

LE T TE R FROM THE PUBLI SHE R

s CEO of PS Lifestyle, I’ve had the exceptional good fortune of leading a group of professionals dedicated to enhancing their clients’ quality of life. Literally every day of the year across this country, a PS Lifestyle professional is operating one of our senior community-based salons and spas, bringing a smile to a client’s face and heightening his or her sense of well-being. On the surface, our ability to connect with and deliver value is derived from the services we provide “in the chair,” i.e. making someone’s hair or nails look fresh and polished, or reducing physical tension with a soothing massage. Yet while all of that is true, it doesn’t fully capture the essence of what those who wear the PS uniform will tell you: their professional skills are also a delivery vehicle for their instinctive predisposition to passionately serve others. As a company whose core values proudly reflect those of our employees, PS Lifestyle also endeavors to engage business partners and other organizations that share our cultural commitment to the senior population. Most recently, I’ve had the pleasure of making the acquaintance with one such partner: the Alzheimer’s Association, an organization which offers unrivaled resources for those whose lives have been impacted by Alzheimer’s and other forms of dementia. I am proud to announce that PS Lifestyle and the Alzheimer’s Association are committed to working closely together, starting first within this issue of PS Magazine and expanding in the immediate future across all of the PS Lifestyle brands. Together, our combined abilities to reach a large national audience will create a significant platform of awareness-building and support for the millions of individuals, families, and caregivers who today confront Alzheimer’s and dementia on a daily basis. As you are enjoying this issue 15 on Home and Belonging of PS Magazine, please take note of the Alzheimer’s Association’s column on page 24, and information about their national Call Center Helpline on the inside cover. Happy Reading!

Sincerely,

John Polatz Publisher and CEO 4

PS Lifestyle CHIEF EXECUTIVE OFFICER

John Polatz CO-FOUNDER

Scott Fisher

MAGA ZINE PUBLISHER AND CEO

John Polatz

EDITOR IN CHIEF

Christina Burns ART DIRECTOR

Elle Chyun

EDITORS AT LARGE

EXECUTIVE VICE PRESIDENT

Shelley Kondas

VICE PRESIDENT — ADMINISTRATION & LICENSING

Susan Polatz

VICE PRESIDENT — FINANCE & ACCOUNTING

Ranae Lewis

VICE PRESIDENT — TECHNOLOGY

Brandon Crafts

VICE PRESIDENT — BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT

Brian Goetz

Laura Beck, The Eden Alternative Gene Mitchell, LeadingaAge

VICE PRESIDENT — BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT

CONTRIBUTORS

Rebecca Hurd

Katherine Adams Walter Backerman Melissa Mayntz Enuma Okoro

Kristin Hinkson

PS Magazine is published by PS Lifestyle LLC 55 Public Square Suite 1180 Cleveland, OH 44113 Phone: (440) 600-1595 Fax: (440) 848-8560 © 2016 PS Lifestyle LLC. All rights reserved. Reproduction without permission is prohibited. To order a subscription or to distribute PS Magazine at your business, contact info@pslifestyle.com Cover: Diane Rehm Photo: Matt McClain/ The Washington Post via Getty Images

DIRECTOR — MARKETING DIRECTOR — PROCUREMENT & LOGISTICS

Kenish Patel

DIRECTOR — HUMAN RESOURCES

Debra Moore

POP CULTURE, NEWS, AND EVENTS FROM PAST DECADES

Remember When... 1936

Local racer Sig Haugdahl promoted the first stock car race, which was held on the Daytona Beach Road Course, and thousands attended. After being lost for two months during the first aerial crossing of Antarctica, polar explorer Lincoln Ellsworth received National Geographic Society’s Gold Medal. PHOTO: LIBRARY OF CONGRESS

1946 Convicted mobster Charles “Lucky” Luciano, who was sentenced to 30–50 years in a New York prison, was pardoned by Governor Thomas E. Dewey due to his “wartime services” and deported to Sicily, Italy. PHOTO: AP PHOTO

Baseball player Jackie Robinson became the first black player to be signed by a major league club, playing with the Montreal Royals of the International League. PHOTO: AP PHOTOS

1956

1966

1976

NASA’s Gemini 8, with Neil Armstrong as command pilot and David R. Scott as pilot, ended with an emergency landing in the Pacific Ocean. PHOTO: NASA

The 12-part television event, Rich Man Poor Man, starring Peter Strauss and Nick Nolte, was broadcast on ABC and considered the first great American mini-series.

Actress Julie Andrews starred in the musical My Fair Lady, which made its premier on Broadway. PHOTO: AP PHOTO

Novelist Jacqueline Susann’s book, The Valley of the Dolls, was published and became an immediate success.

PHOTO: ABC PHOTO ARCHIVES/ABC VIA GETTY IMAGES

PHOTO: JULIAN WASSER/THE LIFE IMAGES COLLECTION/ GETTY IMAGES

Interest in hypnotism spread throughout the country, due to the popularity of the book, The Search for Bridey Murphy. PHOTO: AP PHOTO/HANS VON NOLDE

The US Treasury Department reintroduced the $2 bill with a bicentennial themed design on the reverse. 7

1986

1996 Actor and comedian George Burns died in Beverly Hills, California at the age of 100.

AP PHOTO/MICHAEL TWEED

The first episode of the television legal drama Matlock, starring Andy Griffith, aired on NBC.

2006

Reality cooking show Top Chef, where contestant-chefs compete and are judged by a panel of experts in a series of culinary challenges, premiered on the cable channel Bravo.

PHOTO: GARY NULL/NBC/NBCU PHOTO BANK VIA GETTY IMAGES

Host Geraldo Rivera broadcast a two-hour live television special, The Mystery of Al Capone’s Vaults, to reveal the gangster’s secret vault, which turned out to be empty. PHOTO: AP PHOTO/MARK LENNIHAN

Serial killer Ted Kaczynski, also known as the Unabomber, was identified by his brother and then arrested following the FBI’s publication of his As an April Fools’ manifesto. joke, fast food chain Taco Bell placed ads in newspapers claiming to have purchased the Liberty Bell, renaming it the Taco Liberty Bell. PHOTO: FBI

PHOTO: JAMES STEIDL/123RF

Remember When... Actress Grace Kelly Became Princess Grace of Monaco

3777/GAMMA-RAPHO VIA GETTY IMAGES

n April 1956 when American film star Grace Kelly married Prince Ranier III of Monaco in Monte Carlo, it was the Wedding of the Century. The couple met the year before at the Cannes Film Festival and announced their engagement just three months before they wed. Ms. Kelly, along with 70 friends and family, 110 journalists, two dogs, and several dozen pieces of luggage, left New York for Monaco aboard the liner, SS Constitution. On April 18, the couple married in a private civil ceremony in the palace followed by a reception with the adult population on Monaco, about 3,000 people, in atttendance. The following day, the religious wedding took place at the Cathedral of St. Nicholas in Monaco in front of 600 guests including royalty, heads of state, and movie stars. Thirty million people around the world watched in what became the most widely seen televised event at the time. On the night of April 19, the prince and princess began their seven-week honeymoon cruising around the Mediterranean aboard the 147-foot royal yacht, Deo Juvante II, which was a wedding gift from Aristotle Onassis. Nine months after the royal wedding, Princess Caroline was born, the first of the prince and princessâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s three children. They were married until Princess Graceâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s death in 1982 from injuries sustained in a car accident. When the prince died in 2005, he was buried beside his wife in the Grimaldi family vault, inside the same Monaco cathedral where they wed. 9

DID YOU KNOW

Loved Ones

Earth Day is considered the largest secular civic event in the world, with more than 192 countries and over a billion people involved in activities celebrating it each April 22. The original day for Earth Day was on March 21 to coincide with the vernal equinox. However, in 1990, the US chose to celebrate it a month later to maximize the number of students that could be reached on university campuses, and the rest of the world soon followed suit. Earth Day is meant to show support for protecting the environment. 10

PHOTOS: NASA, ISTOCK

Earth Day

Scientists have discovered that you can relieve pain simply by looking at a photograph of a loved one. Separate studies at Stanford University and the University of California found that the feeling of emotional attachment dulls activity in the pain-processing areas of the brain. Even more effective at lowering pain than by concentrating on a photo is being in an intense romantic love affair. If the timing is not right for you, then being engaged in thoughts or activities will distract attention from pain.

Fascinating Facts to Know and Tell Coloring Patents The National Archives recently released a free coloring book that depicts 16 favorite patents from their holdings. Most of the illustrations date back over a century and few came to fruition. They range from the practical (the troop lander used on D-Day, and a mini hammock for trains that hooks onto the seat in front of you) to the bizarre (protective goggles for your chickens).

PHOTOS: LIBRARY OF CONGRESS, NATIONAL ARCHIVES, ISTOCK

The Star-Spangled Banner It wasn’t until March 3, 1931 that the United States had an official national anthem. In 1814, Francis Scott Key’s published his poem, “Defence of Fort M’Henry,” which was almost immediately set to a well-known melody to become “The StarSpangled Banner”. During the 19th century, it became a favorite patriotic song, particularly during the Civil War. By the 1890s, the military had adopted the song for ceremonial purposes. Finally, a congressional resolution signed by President Herbert Hoover designated “The Star-Spangled Banner” as the National Anthem of the United States of America. 11

ANDREA OBZEROVA/123RF

HEALTH & WELLNESS

ADULT COLORING BOOKS & MINDFULNESS

by KATHERINE ADAMS

here are thousands of coloring books catering to adults on the market today, and coloring has become popular for many reasons. The newest coloring books are beautiful. They have complexity and richness with subjects and designs that are interesting to adults, rather than cartoon characters and superheroes. 12

Not only aesthetically interesting, however, coloring could well be the perfect meditative activity. At the most basic level, doing a soothing activity, like coloring, has a calming effect because it focuses the mind on the activity itself and not on worrying. Coloring also reminds us of childhood, a time when life was less stressful. By allowing our minds to relax, free

from worry, we are enhancing mind-body wellness. Coloring as a way to relax is not a new discovery. Carl Jung, the early 20th-century psychiatrist, believed in the benefits of coloring and prescribed it to his patients. In the days before mass production of coloring books, Dr. Jung had his patients color mandalas, the ageold Indian circular matrices, designs that were used as visual meditative devices. Tibetan Buddhists traditionally have made mandalas of colored sand as a way to obtain greater spiritual awareness. Today, there are coloring books completely devoted to mandalas that some proponents claim are superior to other kinds of visual imagery in tapping into our spiritual selves. Whether or not coloring mandalas is more conducive to meditation or not is not really the point. Studies have shown that activities like coloring in general calm the part of the brain called the amygdala, the seat of fear, allowing anxiety to fade into the background. Though certainly not at the same level as true therapy for people with anxiety disorders,

“Coloring can be therapeutic. It can be a mindless activity that is at the same time mindful.” coloring can be therapeutic. It can be a mindless activity that is at the same time mindful. Mindfulness has been shown to promote overall good health and increase a sense of well-being. Older adults especially can benefit from coloring. Coloring uses parts of the cerebral cortex that involve vision and fine motor skills—in other words, hand-eye coordination. It requires concentration and focus that keep the mind sharp. There is creativity, which is rewarding in itself and therefore can significantly improve one’s mood. There are also analytical processes when choosing certain colors for certain patterns. The repetitive motions, even the sound of the colored pencil moving up and down, can be soothing. For people suffering from dementia, research has shown a decrease in agitation and anxiety when 13

AP PHOTO/CARRIE ANTLFINGER

performing the creative yet relatively simple task of coloring. This new fad has branched out to include socializing. People are throwing parties with coloring as the main entertainment for a group activity. Since itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not really physically challenging, coloring can be done at a table while conversing with friends and reminiscing, and enjoying snacks and drinks. Coloring can be done with grandkids, too, as a way to find a shared activity that is fun for all. The kinds of coloring books available for adults now are astounding. There are abstract and floral designs, animals of all kinds, landscapes, and seascapes. 14

There are religiously inspired coloring books including lovely images of birds with quotes from the Psalms, as well as specific ones dedicated to themes such as fairy tales, quilts, horses, and gardens. There are any number of styles, such as Art Nouveau and Japanese painting. Older adults might be particularly interested in nostalgic coloring books, like the 1950s, old cars, or fashions from different eras. â&#x20AC;&#x153;America the Beautifulâ&#x20AC;? and historic buildings are other interesting and visually compelling choices. The methods of coloring are much more sophisticated, too. Colored pencils, which now come

in numerous elegant palettes, sizes, and shapes, are a common choice; but colored pens—from fine point to felted tip—create bolder colors. Metallic and glitter paint and gel pens are also available. Watercolor pencils are a medium that combines the look of watercolor with the precision of pencils. Artist oil pastels can be blended and shaded in interesting and complex ways. And there’s no pressure to make a masterpiece—one of the great

things about coloring is that it doesn’t require a lot of artistic skill. This might be the most convincing argument for those of us who have been shy of participating in art projects because of insecurities about our abilities. Coloring is certainly creative but not demanding. So reach for the colored pencils—you might just make a beautiful picture to hang on your wall or give as a gift that creates a sense of satisfaction. ■

Home Is Where Well-Being Is by LAURA BECK 16

ILLUSTRATION: © M. MUSGROVE

LIFE WITH THE EDEN ALTERNATIVE

ackie loves the arts, opera in particular. At her side, years ago in New York City, I recall slipping out of my heels and into my sneakers to make a mad dash from an off-Broadway theater to the Metropolitan Opera House. We were experiencing performing arts nirvana, and we were packing it all into a single weekend. Watching her navigate our theatre schedule and the route between events was like observing a ninja. She was in her element, her natural habitat. Ken, Jackie’s spouse, is a lover of philosophy and intellectual discourse. Thoughtful conversation— even better when it involves different perspectives—is his recreational drug of choice. In the nearly thirty years I’ve known him, he’s always taken delight in exploring the work of a new philosopher, the exchange of ideas, or a chance to understand better what makes someone tick. It is March 2, 2016 and Ken is 92 today. My son and I have dialed up his grandfather to wish him a happy birthday. Not long ago, Ken and Jackie sold their suburban home and moved into a continuing care retirement community in Detroit.

For those of us who love them, the transition brought up some common questions about a move like this: How would they adapt? Will they be happy there? Will they be able to create community? Will they feel they belong? As the birthday phone call progressed, I was reminded of the human spirit’s quest to “create home”. In their short time there, Ken has pulled together a large group of residents who are as in love with learning as he is. And true to form, they are people of different minds and contrasting viewpoints. Jackie, too, has created a forum for residents to enjoy the arts together from the comfort of their community— the last event drawing such a crowd that latecomer Ken was turned away at the door. When we really think about it, home is where we can be who we are, where we experience meaningful connections, and where we feel safe expressing ourselves. Home is also where we choose, and feel supported to pursue, the nature of our engagement and enjoy those things that make our hearts and minds sing. When these key attributes are in place, we 17

experience joy and continue to grow no matter how old we are or what our abilities may be. At The Eden Alternative, we call these the Domains of Well-Being™: Identity, Connectedness, Security, Autonomy, Meaning, Growth, and Joy. As long as we have the opportunity to meet each of these vital needs, we can create home wherever we find ourselves. In my work as an educator of The Eden Alternative philosophy, we often ask participants to spontaneously list all of those things that mean “home” to them. Peruse any one of these lists and you will see these Domains of WellBeing captured there. The second part of the exercise involves asking people to randomly remove three or four things from another participant’s list. This simple, symbolic act of deleting pieces of one’s well-being can create quite an outburst in class. Participants describe feeling violated and even “homeless” without those things that have been crossed off of their lists. Yes, the place or structure can play a huge part in defining our sense of home. But without wellbeing, it’s all just bricks and mortar. 18

“When we really think about it, home is where we can be who we are, where we experience meaningful connections, and where we feel safe expressing ourselves.” Ken and Jackie taught me this in yet another way many years ago. Throughout their life together, they and their three boys had lived in several homes in the Detroit area. As a very special anniversary surprise for Jackie, Ken had invited the entire family to take a roadtrip tour of their marriage. Having connected with the current owners of each home they had lived in, he arranged a chronological journey through time. Visiting house by house, we raised a glass to the stories that unfolded there. As Ken and Jackie reflected, it was not the design features or the beauty of the building that stood out in their tales, but rather, it was the scraped knees, the laughter, the losses, the gardens grown, the horses ridden,

Laura Beck is the Learning and Development Guide for The Eden Alternative, an international, nonprofit organization focused on creating quality of life for Elders and their care partners. For more information about The Eden Alternative, go to www.edenalt.org. See Creating Home— The Eden Alternative, a 10-minute documentary featuring the Domains of Well-Being™ on YouTube.

BRUCE ERIC KAPLAN THE NEW YORKER COLLECTION/THE CARTOON BANK

the pets loved, the goals achieved, and the high jinx endured that bubbled to the top. No matter how many moving trucks graced their days, “home” always went with them, weaving a tapestry of memories and experiences unique to them alone. It’s true, there is no “place” like home. Home lives within us, between us… within the indelible human spirit. ■

“Why don’t you just say it? You think I do nothing all day.” 19

TIP OF THE HAT

A Long & Prosperous Friendship by WALTER BACKERMAN

Honestly, until Leonard and I developed our relationship—with the exception of my wives—I never had a real friend; I didn’t even know what a friend was. —William Shatner, excerpted from his book, Leonard

he first time I saw William Shatner, a moment I still remember vividly, was in an episode of The Twilight Zone when he and his girlfriend are stranded in a small town due to mechanical problems, and wait in a diner where they encounter a fortune-telling machine that begins controlling their future. Finally, their car is fixed but he’s spellbound and wants to stay, but his girlfriend convinces him to leave and they go on to let their lives unfold naturally. I watched a

repeat of this episode one week before I actually had the privilege to meet William Shatner at a booksigning for his latest book, Leonard: My Fifty-Year Friendship with a Remarkable Man, and thought to myself: would he have liked to have known his future or just let it unveil itself in time? In 1964, while on the set of the television series, The Man from U.N.C.L.E., William Shatner and Leonard Nimoy first appeared together as guest stars wihout any vivid recollection between either of

PHOTO: REX FEATURES VIA AP IMAGES

them. At the time, there was no way to know how dramatically their lives would become intertwined for the better part of the next fifty years. Eventually, they would come to realize that their lives mirrored each other’s. Both born in March 1931 just four days apart to a similar ethnicity and parentage, they were like fraternal twins sprung forth from separate mothers. Mr. Nimoy was a product of Boston’s West End while Mr. Shatner grew up in Montreal’s West End. When both were eight years old, they each discovered acting and followed almost precisely the same path to fame. Despite their total commitment to their craft of acting, their dreams were somewhat restrained and modest. Mr. Nimoy had a goal of someday earning $10,000 a year as an actor while Mr. Shatner would have been happy to eventually earn $100 a week. Of course, that was in the 1950s when that meager amount of money meant something to starving actors who would have deemed success the simple act of paying their rent on time. In Leonard, Mr. Shatner’s recent homage to his late friend, he writes, “I’m quite sure we shared

Portraying Captain James T. Kirk and Spock in Star Trek that trait most common among young actors, an unshakable belief that no matter how impossible it seemed at times, whatever it took, we were going to be successful.” The early 1960s were characterized as a period of what Mr. Nimoy begrudgingly referred to as the “character-building years.” Both worked at non-acting jobs to pay the bills including driving a taxicab, selling newspapers, and shining shoes. (My customers are often amazed 21

to learn that in the 1980s, James Gandolfini and Bruce Willis were among other underemployed actors who delivered seltzer in Manhattan just to have some money to eat.) Each took on a variety of roles that honed their skills and formed valuable connections. Of course, things would change dramatically when both were cast in their seminal roles as Captain Kirk and Mr. Spock in Star Trek. The avant-garde production dealt with the subtext of some of the complex social issues of that era, cleverly hidden in a futuristic setting, which greatly appealed to their cult following but never had enough broader appeal to satisfy the network brass or justify the costly production. With Star Trek, each actor had exceeded his original financial goals: for the initial season of the show, Mr. Nimoy was paid $1,250 an episode and Mr. Shatner slightly more. Remarkably, after three seasons and only 79 regular broadcast productions, this groundbreaking show was canceled in 1969. Aside from their salaries, they weren’t paid residuals from the original series or any percentage of the profits from the lucrative 22

merchandising rights that Paramount enjoyed from using their likenesses and the characters they developed. Mr. Shatner acknowledges that most actors’ friendships are deep yet temporary and in his book, he admits, “when the show ended, the entire cast made all the usual promises of long-lasting friendship, but with a few exceptions, we saw little of each other.” Both Mr. Shatner and Mr. Nimoy would continue on their professional paths in artistic vehicles that parted from the characters made famous on Star Trek. Paramount was happy to sell Star Trek in syndication to local TV stations, and they ran and re-ran episodes when young people were going to watch it. And then something peculiar happened—the show mushroomed and gained a re-emergence in popularity. Rabid fans were called Trekkies. Star Trek conventions grew into a multibillion-dollar business, where devotees met to revel in their collective interest. Whereas the original TV series provided no future income for the stars, these conventions did. This increased interest eventually lead to major motion pictures and spinoffs from

PHOTO: AP PHOTO/RIC FRANCIS

the original series, and ultimately the financial stability that had earlier eluded Mr. Shatner and Mr. Nimoy. Due to the improbable reincarnation of the Star Trek franchise, these men forged nearly a life-long friendship. Their relationship was not unlike siblings, filled with rivalries yet there for each other during some of life’s hardest moments. They were complex and flawed figures—Mr. Nimoy battled an addiction to alcohol, and he used his experience to try to save Mr. Shatner’s alcoholic wife, but she was eventually found dead in the swimming pool. Mr. Shatner recalls that horrible event: “Leonard enveloped me in his arms as his brother, and we cried together.” As with many relationships involving people with strong personalities, petty squabbles can lead to a transitory period when these headstrong participants distance themselves from each other. On February 27, 2015 when Mr. Nimoy passed on, these two friends were embroiled in such a moment and were not on speaking terms, much to Mr. Shatner’s regret. As he touchingly quotes from the playwright Robert Anderson at the

William Shatner and Leonard Nimoy in 2006 start of his book: “Death ends a life, but it does not end a relationship.” For those of us who have had the profound pleasure to watch the body of work these men leave behind— and for me personally, who had the pleasure to meet both men—their friendship will always live on. ■ Walter Backerman is best known as Walter the Seltzer Man, a third generation seltzer delivery man in New York City. Walter has a great fondness for American history, particularly of the 20th century. 23

FACING ALZHEIMER’S WITH THE ALZHEIMER’S ASSOCIATION

Expert Help for Families— All Day, Every Day

ob’s mother has dementia, and his father, her primary caregiver, is terminally ill and has been hospitalized. Bob* and his siblings take turns staying at their parents’ home, caring for their mother as best they can. One day, the enormity of the situation became overwhelming for Bob during a caregiving shift: His mother was highly agitated. He didn’t understand her behavior. He needed help. That morning Bob called the Alzheimer’s Association 24/7 Helpline (800-272-3900), which provides free information and support—any time of day, year-round—to people dealing with the myriad issues of Alzheimer’s disease and other dementias. He spoke with Kerry

Lanigan, a national Helpline care consultant. “The Association offers the opportunity to talk to somebody when you need to talk to them— when you have time as a caregiver or when you’re dealing with a challenging situation,” says Beth Kallmyer, Alzheimer’s Association vice president of constituent services. “People can call us and get tips and strategies but also talk to somebody who can say, ‘I get this. I understand. This is really difficult.’ When you can give them that emotional support and that empathetic response, it can mean the world to somebody.” When a constituent calls, a specialist assesses the caller’s needs and provides relevant information

about Alzheimer’s and local resources. If the call is considered a crisis or involves a complex caregiving matter or complicated family dynamics that require expert problem-solving, the individual is connected to a care cosnsultants, a master’s-level clinician experienced in navigating people through stressful circumstances. “He was very upset,” says Ms. Lanigan, who has a master’s degree in gerontology. “He was very frightened. He didn’t know what to do about his mother’s behavior. He needed to be immediately calmed down, reassured, and given some emotional support, but he also had to learn what might happen next to help the family.” During the 20-minute call, Bob was able to catch his breath and collect his thoughts. Ms. Lanigan assured him that his mother’s behavior was typical for people with dementia and offered safety advice to help manage the situation. Bob’s anxiety subsided considerably by the time the call was over, and he seemed ready to tackle what the future might hold. “He definitely was in a different mindset to be able to accept information and start coping,”

Ms. Lanigan says. “I was able to talk to him about long-term care options and give him tips on planning for the future.” The majority of the Alzheimer’s Association’s care consultation is via the Helpline, but some Association locations also offer local, in-person support. Families can receive an assessment of their needs, discuss available resources and support, and learn about legal and financial plans, end-of-life decisions, and more. “Meeting with a care consultant is helpful because Alzheimer’s is so challenging,” Ms. Kallmyer says. “Family members and the person with the disease don’t always know what to expect. A care consultant can help the family by creating an action plan that will guide their next steps.” Ms. Kallmyer adds: “If you’ve cared for somebody with this disease, wouldn’t you want to know that the minute you need help, you’ll be able to make a phone call and get it?” ■ For more information on the services of the Alzheimer’s Association, call 800-272-3900 or visit alz.org. *Name has been changed to protect privacy. 25

The Place They Call Home Part of What Is All About by GENE MITCHELL LeadingAge members—not-forprofit providers of care and services for seniors, covering a full continuum ranging from a little help with household chores to customized skilled nursing environments—often talk about the importance of “the place they call home” when talking about where their services are delivered. Years ago, those services were usually provided in a residential setting—nursing homes, fullcontinuum retirement communities, assisted living communities or independent living apartments— provided by the organization. As home and community-based services have exploded in recent decades, the definition of “the place they call home” has expanded to include anywhere seniors live. In skilled care, LeadingAge members have been overturning stereotypes of old-fashioned, hospital-like nursing homes with “culture change” efforts designed to create true resident-centered care. “Neighborhood” design principles, 26

consistent staff assignment practices, flexible schedules, introduction of pets and plants, and other strategies have brought resident wishes to the fore. Many members have embraced top-to-bottom redesigns of skilled care, such as the innovative Green House model (created by Dr. Bill Thomas of The Green House Project and The Eden Alternative, and pioneered by Methodist Senior Services), or the similar small house concept. Home also means a place where one is accepted regardless of race, ethnicity, religion, or sexual orientation, and LeadingAge members work to create cultures of acceptance where all residents and staff are welcome. For most people, the best “home” is one’s own. According to statistics from the Congressional Budget Office, 80% of seniors receiving services in the US are getting them at home. The dramatic increase in the variety and volume of services

PHOTO: ISTOCK

available to home and communitybased services clients has been a major story in aging services for many years. Home care and home health services keep seniors at home longer than ever before, while saving money and minimizing disruption in clients’ lives. Creative home services models range from simple to complex—from the Village model, driven by seniors aging in place in urban neighborhoods, to Programs of All-Inclusive Care for the Elderly that cover all their clients’ needs in a managed-care model. For one huge group of Americans— family caregivers—home can be as much a source of distress as comfort. Family caregivers caring for seniors are typically spouses or their adult children, and 60% are women. Caregiving for loved ones with dementia or other chronic health conditions can exact a terrible toll on people, and providers offer many programs to help relieve the stress. Adult day programs play an important role in reducing that family workload, while helping promote health and socialization for seniors. Many LeadingAge members operate independent-living

apartments for seniors, often government-subsidized. LeadingAge’s belief that this senior housing platform is ideal for delivery of home and community-based services led us to create our Center for Housing Plus Services to research, test, and promote new models of service delivery. Regardless of location, agingservices providers go the extra mile to make “home” anyplace where seniors can remain fulfilled and happy. ■ Gene Mitchell is editor of LeadingAge magazine. 27

An Exclusive Interview

DIANE REHM Is On Her Own by CHRISTINA BURNS

PHOTO: MATT MCCLAIN/ THE WASHINGTON POST VIA GETTY IMAGES

n On My Own, beloved National Public Radio host Diane Rehm has written a deeply personal and moving book about her husband’s long, drawn-out death from Parkinson’s disease and her struggle to continue a meaningful life without him. A lifelong resident of Washington, DC, Ms. Rehm grew up as a single child, losing her mother when she was only 19 years old on New Year’s Day in 1956 and then her father in November of the same year. It was when she worked as a secretary for the State Department that she met John Rehm, then a lawyer working in the Kennedy administration. They married in 1959 and have two children: their son David and daughter Jennie. Ms. Rehm’s voice reaches an average of 2.6 million people each week on NPR, NPR Worldwide, and Sirius XM. Her radio career began in 1973 when she worked as a volunteer for radio station WAMU, which was then a college radio station. In 1979, the same year the station became a member of NPR, she was selected to host their local morning talk show, which was renamed The Diane Rehm Show in 1984. She has announced that she will be retiring from her radio show after the 2016 presidential election. 29

Ms. Rehm has received numerous awards for her broadcast work including the Peabody Award and in 2014, just two days after the devastating death of her beloved husband, she was notified that she was a recipient of the 2013 National Humanities Award. Recently, she played the lead role in the off-Broadway play, Surviving Grace, about a woman with Alzheimer’s disease and her daughter’s struggle in caring for her. On My Own is Ms. Rehm’s third book to be published by Knopf. In the midst of her book tour, she took some time for a discussion with PS Magazine about her experience and healing from the death of a man she continues to love deeply. e continues to love deeply. PS Magazine: The name of your new book is On My Own. Have you surprised yourself with how you’ve continued your life after the illness and death of your husband John? Diane Rehm: I think that you do surprise yourself. I have realized how much stronger I am in taking over everything I needed to do including all the finances, and taking on every aspect of keeping the household together. Of course, John used to do all that: walking [our dog] Maxie three times a day, doing all the errands, and he used to pay all the big bills. When he realized he couldn’t any more, little by little he began teaching me everything that needed taking care of. And I am in pretty good shape. PS: What compelled you to write this book? DR: The night John was dying, I was lying on two chairs right next to his bed with Maxie on my stomach—a most uncomfortable situation. At 2:00AM, I started writing on my iPad. I started writing about what I was experiencing and how sad I felt. John died that next morning. And then I called Knopf and spoke to my editor, Bob Gottlieb, and asked if there might be some interest in a book about loss and death with dignity (and lack thereof), and the year after [that experience]. He said, send me a paragraph. And that’s what I did. 30

After I wrote that paragraph in [John’s] room and then after the memorial service, that’s when I called Bob Gottlieb. I really wanted to emphasis what I believe as the need for choice in dying. That’s how it began. Why did John have to go through ten day of suffering? Each of us deserves a choice in dying. If you say you want John and Diane Rehm with Michael J. Fox palliative care, I think that’s at the Parkinson’s Action Network Gala. what you should have. If I say, I want to avoid further suffering and indignity and I want to die, I feel I should have that choice. In between, I got all my recollections and concerns about widowhood and put those in the book. I just started writing down things as they occurred to me. I wrote as it happened.

PHOTO:

COURTESY OF DIANE REHM

PS: John decided to stop eating, drinking, and taking medication when his doctors refused him the drugs or any other means that would cause his death. Did you have a personal opinion in the right to die debate before the experience with John’s death? DR: Well, John and I had talked about it years and years before, and both of us did not want to go into a nursing home. And each of us said that when the time came when we could not live a life worth living, that we were comfortable with the knowledge of letting each other go. So, frankly, I was surprised when John agreed to go into Assisted Living. He agreed to go there and remain in that facility until he lost the ability to feed, to walk, to bath or to care for himself in any way. When [all] that became impossible for him, he said, “I am ready to die.” Our sympathetic doctor, who total understood his wishes, could not do that for him. 31

Part of my feeling about this book is for people to start a conversation. I want people to be free to talk about death and dying, and what families want. Too many people are afraid to do that. John and I were not afraid to do that, even with our kids. PS: You write about having a complex, yet happy, relationship with John and just before his death he admitted to you that he would deliberately shut you out for periods of time during your 54 years of marriage. Did his confession help or hinder your grief? DR: It was such an important conversation. I thought to myself, over and over, if he had died suddenly, I would have missed him saying so. Somewhere in my depth, I knew he chose to shut me out, he chose to take out some deep anger on me. Where that anger came from, even he didn’t know. And then I asked him if he should never have married, and he said, “Maybe.” I think we married each other because he was such a loner and I was so gregarious. He may have fallen in love with me because of my very outward-ness and my ability to interact with others, and I [fell] for his strength to stand alone. The very things that attract us may be the very things that turn us off. Some therapists say we are attracted to that very part that is missing in us. That may have been what happened. If I had been a more solidly secure person, a more mature person, I might have simply understood him better. Instead of always reacting and not recognizing that it was in him a very powerful need. I interpreted it as a way to shut me out. I don’t mean to paint a picture that was all bleak. We had such fun together…. PS: You admit that you felt guilty for not being John’s caregiver when you both made the decision for him to move into an assisted living residence. Have you resolved those feelings of guilt? DR: Well, when you say, have you “resolved” those feelings, I think, to a certain extent, I will always grieve for my husband and feel a certain 32

amount of guilt that he did not die here at home in his own bed. I don’t think things simply go away because time heals. Especially since it’s someone you live with and love. PS: Do you have any advice to others in similar situations on reconciling feelings of guilt? DR: I think you sort of have to accept that’s part of who you are. Some people may care for that loved one forever and still have feelings of guilt, thinking that perhaps they still may not have done something. Guilt is a human condition that affects some people more than others.

Diane Rehm making an appearance at The Strand bookstore, New York, to discuss her new book. PHOTO: JULIEN MCROBERTS.

PS: You write about a trip to Boston to visit your daughter and her family as a pivotal point in your grieving process. Can you describe that? DR: It really was so wonderful because they made me so happy. I just felt, oh my gosh, here is John Rehm alive in my daughter and grandchildren. 33

Diane Rehm at her home in Washington, DC.

PHOTO: MATT MCCLAIN/ THE WASHINGTON POST VIA GETTY IMAGES

His lovability, his engagement—inside my family! And it continues. PS: It seems you didn’t realize you would be retiring as a radio host until near the end of the book. Why is now the time to retire? DR: It was in the back of my mind. I’ll be 80 in September. I feel and felt as though this is a good time in my life. This has been such a glorious job for nearly 37 years. It’s time to turn it over to someone with fresher ideas, with new excitement, with a new way of looking at issues. Wouldn’t that be a wonderful thing to be 80, and then be free—totally free—to do what I believe, including stating my own beliefs about the right to die. ■ 34

REDUCING CLUTTER: GIVING HEIRLOOMS NEW MEANING by MELISSA MAYNTZ

PHOTO: KJETIL DAHLE/123RF

ou spend your life accumulating sentimental possessions, from special event keepsakes to vacation mementos to craft projects, photos, and collectibles, but what should you do with them? Ideally, many of these meaningful items would pass on to your children and grandchildren, but that isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t always possible. You may not have descendents, or they may not be interested in the same passions and hobbies, and your possessions just donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have the same meaning to them as they do to you. Whether you need to downsize your living space, de-clutter your home, or just want to make sure your treasured items retain their value and meaning for years to come, there are unique and creative options for any type of possession. With a little creativity, you can turn old keepsakes into something new that may be more meaningful to others. That old wedding gown that is decades out of style, for example, could be remade into a simple christening gown for grandchildren or great-grandchildren, or it could become handkerchiefs for the next generation of brides and grooms. Stones from old jewelry can be reset into modern pieces that still have a glimmer of family history in their settings. 35

Souvenir t-shirts, sweatshirts, or flannel shirts could become a cozy quilt steeped in memories. If you have kept old photographs and documents but don’t know what to do with them, consult your local historical society for suggestions. Many societies maintain detailed archives of local history, and photos or documents about the community can be welcome additions to their collection that will be useful to history buffs, students, and researchers. You can also consider returning items to their origins. Souvenir postcards from a favorite vacation, for example, may be welcomed back at the place they depict. Old family documents could also be donated to genealogical research groups, where they will be archived and indexed for family members to research in the future. Many libraries welcome donations of books to either add to their collection for others to read, or to become part of fundraising book sales that will support the library’s operation. In addition to books, many libraries also accept entertainment or educational videos, music CDs, or vinyl records, 36

depending on the items the library offers for circulation. Some libraries also have board games, puppets, or similar items available either for checking out or for regular programs and special events, and your donations could enhance their offerings. It may be decades since you were in a classroom, but many of your memorable items can help new students enjoy school more. School libraries often welcome book donations suitable to the school’s grade levels, and a drama department may love any donations of vintage clothing or costumes. Junior high and high school teachers may also be able to put unique donations to very good use. A geology or science teacher may love that stuffed duck from a favorite hunting trip, or the rock collection you’ve built. History teachers are interested in old documents, newspapers, or magazines that connect to significant events, while foreign language teachers may appreciate vacation mementos from distant lands. Music teachers could use old instruments and art teachers will enjoy art supplies or finished pieces

that show unusual techniques. And don’t forget your alma mater—old yearbooks or school-related items are always welcome for alumni displays and archives. If you want your possessions to be helpful to others, donating them to your church or any local congregation is a great choice. Church leaders may be able to direct items to needy congregants, such as old afghan throws or a quilt you no longer need but that can give warmth to a new family. Clothing, linens, baby items, bicycles, small appliances, dishes, and many other items can be distributed through churches or any local humanitarian charity. Even if the items cannot be directly used by the church or charity, they may be able to be sold as part of rummage sale fundraisers or raffles to raise money that will support the organization’s outreach efforts. There are hundreds of unusual museums throughout the country that pay homage to unexpected items, and your treasured possessions could become part of their collections. Have you done an exquisite cross stitch of a carousel or carousel horse? Consider donating it to the MerryGo-Round Museum in Sandusky,

A volunteer at the Wadsworth Public Library in Wadsworth, Ohio sorts through a personal donation of over 10,000 books. AP PHOTO/AKRON BEACON JOURNAL, PAUL TOPLE

Ohio. Do you have dozens of unique salt and pepper shakers? They’d be right at home at the Salt and Pepper Shaker Museum in Gatlinburg, Tennessee. What about those antique farm tools that have been in your family for generations? They’d be appreciated at the Wrench Museum in Marshing, Idaho. Have you collected a lifetime’s worth of exquisite miniatures? Try the Museum of Miniatures in Tucson, 37

The Salt and Pepper Shaker Museum has more than 20,000 sets of salt and pepper shakers from all over the world. AP PHOTO/CARYN ROUSSEAU

Arizona to find them a new home. Or even if you only have a collection of pre-moistened wipes from diners, restaurants, and hotels from all your travels, well, thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the Moist Towelette Museum in Dimondale, Michigan. There are museums for bananas, SPAM, ventriloquism, roller skating, beer cans, yo-yos, and just about anything else you can imagine, so those quirky keepsakes of yours can always find a place to stay. It can be hard to let go of your treasured possessions, especially if they have been part of your life for 38

many years. But if you know they will be going to good places where they will be useful, appreciated, and enjoyed, the letting go is easier and you will be happy knowing they are still treasured. â&#x2013;

Melissa Mayntz is a freelance writer from Utah who enjoys collecting magnets and postcards from her travels, creating cross stitch artwork and filling her shelves with books, all of which will eventually find new and meaningful homes. Learn more at MelissaMayntz.com.

THE MEANING OF

by ENUMA OKORO

PHOTO: LAMBERT/GETTY IMAGES

y the time I was 13 years old, I had lived in eight houses in three countries on two continents. I have always struggled with the idea of home and pinpointing what factors lend to making an environment feel like home. Because I moved around so much as a child, I couldn’t rely on fixed locations to give me a long-term understanding of what it meant to “feel at home”. I learned to transport my little world in suitcases and to arrange and decorate each new location until it felt like someplace familiar because of my things. As a result, for many years of my adulthood I used to think that “feeling at home” was mostly about the physical particularities that I could control. Of course, I knew that the people with whom I surrounded myself had something to do with making a home but I also largely felt that if I were surrounded by familiar things, material possessions I owned like my favorite paintings or photographs, or my favorite white bed sheets with the yellow tulips, I could bring an element of home with me wherever I went. It wasn’t until much later in my life that I realized how a sense of “home” could come and go according to the seasons of our lives, regardless of where or with what we may physically find ourselves. I rediscovered this phenomenon most recently last summer while leading a five-day workshop at Lake Tahoe on the theme of “Seeking Home and the Practice of Belonging.” 39

Men and women between the ages of 27 and 80 gathered to explore together and share the histories of where they came from and how they have felt both at home and displaced over the course of their lives. It was interesting to hear from more mature adults who were supposedly at life stages where they should feel settled. They had lived in the same houses for decades, raised children, and tended to marriages and yet found themselves experiencing a growing sense of internal displacement, un-at home even in well-established lives. After a few days of retreat work we discovered together that many of us grow up with family myths and instilling narratives, stories that subconsciously helped define our sense of identity and our expectations of home as we grew up into adults. At certain points in our lives, experiences can trigger a deeper recognition of how these instilling narratives affect us. For some people, losing a parent or an adult child can be the trigger. For others, it can be approaching retirement or a job change that causes a sense of displacement or unbelonging. 40

Regardless of the individual and unique reasons, the reality is that many of us experience seasons in our lives in which regardless of physical stability and familiarity, a sense of home just feels elusive. Though such seasons can be frightening and unsettling, there are a few practices that can help sustain us while we reacclimatize. I have found it helpful to practice vulnerability and seek out friends who can remind me of the best parts of myself, providing me with renewed strength and courage to feel my way out of the internal homelessness or displacement. Another useful practice has been to permit myself room to dwell in the season without expectation of where it will lead, shifting perspective to see the season as an opportunity for new growth and new understanding of my own life. There can be a beauty in accepting that a lifetime can be filled with the bounty of multiple â&#x20AC;&#x153;homes,â&#x20AC;? each challenging but also rich and expansive in their own right. â&#x2013; Enuma Okoro is an award-winning writer and speaker who lives between New York City, Paris, and Abuja, Nigeria.

Great Historic Homes of America

â&#x20AC;&#x2020;ravel back in time to experience an important aspect of the lives of some of the most famous and memorable Americans. These houses are now preserved and open to the public so that we can all discover what made these iconic Americans tick in the places they called home.

This page: Hearst Castle

SPRINGWOOD. PHOTO: NPS/BILL URBIN INSET: FRANKLIN D. ROOSEVELT PRESIDENTIAL LIBRARY & MUSEUM

42 INSET: WASHINGTON AND LAFAYETTE AT MOUNT VERNON, 1784 (THE HOME OF WASHINGTON AFTER THE WAR) BY THOMAS PRICHARD ROSSITER AND LOUIS RÉMY MIGNOT MOUNT VERNON PLANTATION. PHOTO: BUDDY SECOR

George Washington’s Mount Vernon

Franklin D. Roosevelt’s Springwood

George Washington’s Mount Vernon (Alexandria, VA) George Washington was one of the largest landowners and richest and most innovative planters in Virginia. During his lifetime, the Father of Our Country oversaw two large expansions to his mansion and expanded Mount Vernon plantation from 2,000 to 8,000 acres consisting of five farms, flour milling, commercial fishing, and a distillery. Open daily, April–October: 9AM to 5PM; November– March: 9AM to 4PM. Adults: $20 ($17 when purchased online); Children ages 5–11: $9. www.mountvernon.org; 703-780-2000

Franklin D. Roosevelt’s Springwood (Hyde Park, NY) Springwood Estate was the lifelong home of President Franklin D. Roosevelt, who was born in a second-floor bedroom in the house. He made his last trip there two weeks before his death. He was laid to rest in the Rose Garden, with his wife Eleanor and two of the family dogs. It is also the site of the Franklin D. Roosevelt Presidential Library and Museum. Open daily, 9AM to 5PM. Top Cottage is open May 1–October 31, 2016. Free. www.nps.gov/hofr/; 845-229-9115

Thomas Jefferson’s Monticello (Charlottesville, VA) The author of the Declaration of Independence and the third US president inherited the 5,000-acre plantation, and he personally designed the neoclassical mansion, its furnishings, and the surrounding gardens. Monticello is the only house in the US designated a UNESCO World Heritage site. Open daily, hours vary by month and day. Adults: $20–25; Children (5–11): $9. www.monticello.org; 434-984-9800 MONTICELLO. PHOTO: © THOMAS JEFFERSON FOUNDATION AT MONTICELLO, PHOTO BY JACK LOONEY THOMAS JEFFERSON. INSET: © THOMAS JEFFERSON FOUNDATION AT MONTICELLO, PORTRAIT OF THOMAS JEFFERSON BY THOMAS SULLY, 1821.

Thomas Jefferson’s Monticello

Martin Luther King, Jr.’s Birth Home

tours from 10AM to 4PM. Tours are limited to 15 people and are on a first-come, firstserved basis on the day of the tour. Free. www.nps.gov/malu/; 404-331-5190

Edith Wharton’s The Mount (Lenox, MA) The Mount is a turn-of-the-century home that Edith Wharton designed and built in 1902 based on the precepts outlined in her first book, The Decoration of Houses (co-authored with architect Ogden Codman, Jr.). Many of her great works were created while she was in residence there, most notably The House of Mirth and Ethan Frome. Like Monticello, it is an autobiographical house, one that embodies its creator’s spirit. Open daily, May 14–October 31, 10AM to 5PM with special events and programs throughout the year. Adults: $18; Seniors (65+): $17; Student (with valid ID): $13; Children (18 and under): Free. www.edithwharton.org; 413-551-5111

Elvis Presley’s Graceland (Memphis, TN) Graceland was the fulfillment of a promise Elvis Presley had made to his parents as a child: that one day, he would buy them the finest house in town. In 1957, the 22-year-old burgeoning superstar paid $102,500 for Graceland and the surrounding 13.8 acres to serve as his home base, which he shared with his parents and grandmother. When he died at the estate on August 16, 1977, an estimated 80,000 fans passed through its gates the following day to view The King’s body. Open daily, hours vary by month and day. Adults: $38.75; Youth/Student (13–18, with college ID) & Seniors (62+): $34.90; Children (7–12): $17.00. www.graceland.com; 800-238-2000

MLK BIRTH HOME PHOTO: LIBRARY OF CONGRESS MARTIN LUTHER KING. INSET: AP PHOTO

Martin Luther King, Jr.’s Birth Home (Atlanta, GA) Martin Luther King, Jr. was born in the upstairs middle room in 1929 and the family lived in the house until he was 12 years old. According to Mrs. Christine King Farris, Dr. King’s sister, the home looks much the way it did when she was a child. The Birth Home became a part of the National Park Service in October 1980 when Congress established the Martin Luther King, Jr. National Historic Site. Open daily for ranger-led

PHOTOS: ELVIS PRESLEY’S GRACELAND

THE HOUSE AND ITALIAN GARDENS. PHOTO: JOHN SEAKWOOD, COURTESY THE MOUNT, LENOX, MA] EDITH WHARTON, 1884. INSET: LILLY LIBRARY INDIANA UNIVERSITY.

Edith Wharton’s The Mount

Elvis Presley’s Graceland

HOME & MUSEUM: AP PHOTO ERNEST HEMINGWAY. INSET: ROB O’NEIL PHOTOGRAPHY, COURTESY ERNEST HEMINGWAY HOME & MUSEUM

The Ernest Hemingway House

Hearst Castle

The Ernest Hemingway House (Key West, FL) Ernest Hemingway lived in the Spanish colonial-style home from nearly ten years in the 1930s, and is where he wrote 70% of his lifetime works including “The Snows of Kilimanjaro” and “The Short Happy Life of Francis Macomber”. Today, several dozen six-toed (polydactyl) cats live about the home and grounds, descendants of the felines that Mr. Hemingway kept while he lived there. Open daily, 9AM to 5PM. Adults: $13: Children (6 and up): $6. www.hemingwayhome.com; 305-294-1136

Hearst Castle (San Simeon, CA) In 1919, William Randolph Hearst inherited about 40,000 acres of ranchland (Mr. Hearst would then acquire more land to expand the ranch to more than 250,000 acres) and began to build a retreat overlooking the Pacific Ocean that he called La Cuesta Encantada (Spanish for “The Enchanted Hill”). By 1947, Hearst Castle was comprised of the enormous main house and three guesthouses, 127 acres of gardens, the indoor and outdoor swimming pools, tennis courts, a movie theater, an airfield, and a zoo—not to mention a considerable collection of art and antiques. Open daily, hours vary by month and day. Adults: $25–$36;

PHOTOS: COURTESY OF THE WESTERN PENNSYLVANIA CONSERVANCY

Children (5–12): $12–18. www.hearstcastle.org; 800-444-4445

Fallingwater, or Kaufmann Residence (Mill Run, PA) America’s most famous architect Frank Lloyd Wright built his masterpiece, Fallingwater, as an organic mountain retreat for the Edgar J. Kaufmann family of Pittsburgh, owners of the elegant Kaufmann’s Department Store. Designed and constructed between 1935 and 1939, the timeless home is suspended above a waterfall, deep in the forest. Fallingwater is the only major house by Mr. Wright to open to the public with its furnishings, artwork, and setting intact. Open daily, Fallingwater

except for Wednesday, mid-March through November, hours vary by month and day. Tickets: $8 up. www.fallingwater.org; 724-329-8501 ■

BOOKS FIC TION

BEHAVE ANDROMEDA ROMANO-LAX

ehave is a novel based on the real life of the little recognized and relatively unknown Rosalie Rayner. Accepted to Johns Hopkins graduate school in 1919, Ms. Rayner was the student and partner of the well known early 20th-century psychology researcher, James Watson. Dr. Watson is famous for his controversial experiments in behaviorism using babies and for his advocacy against attachment parenting, about which he and Ms. Rayner later co-authored a book. Dr. Watson was twenty years Ms. Rayner’s senior and married when they began a scandalous affair. When their relationship was discovered, she left her studies while he divorced and was fired from Hopkins. They then married and moved to New York where Dr. Watson went into advertising, perhaps achieving wider influence than in his academic publications. The first half of Behave is about their meeting and falling in love, set 48

against an interesting narrative describing his experiments, which, although informative to later research developments, earned academic and moral criticism. The second and third parts of the book are about their married life and the raising of their two children. Ms. Rayner becomes a wife and mother, her career in science is truly over, and her husband becomes the traditional breadwinner. At this point, the novel transcends the era of the 1920s. Ms. Rayner’s struggles become the universal plight of all women who gave up careers for families. She is frustrated and depressed, feeling her husband’s demands to be a modern, “scientific” mother, thinking that she is failing at everything. Told in first-person, Ms. RomanoLax makes Ms. Rayner’s internal plight, her fears and regrets, vastly compelling and relatable.

FUN & GAMES

Solutions on page 60

CROSSWORD PUZZLE 1

ACROSS 1. Wildebeest (3) 3. Playful musical movement (7) 7. Small, furry rodent (5) 8. Really surprise (5) 9. Walk without lifting your feet (7) 11. Indication of an alternative name (inits) (3) 12. Fifth note in a major scale (3) 13. Late October star sign (7) 15. New Zealand aboriginal (5) 17. Tally (5) 18. Long, tapering, edible root (7) 19. Nickname for Leonard (3)

DOWN 1. Amusements (5) 2. Contrary to the norm (7) 3. View (3) 4. Dismissal (5-2) 5. Its capital is Pretoria (inits) (3) 6. The Magic Flute, eg (5) 10. Trend (7) 11. Garments (7) 12. Repeat the main points (3,2) 14. Vast body of salt water (5) 16. Prayer, ___ Father (3) 17. High, snow-capped peak (3)

FUN & GAMES

Solutions on page 60

GEMSTONES Gemstones

A M I L C I I O I I O Y R I A

M S M I H T H E E B T T O A M

A N O C R I Z O A O S B P A I

C C O I Y S A L A Y S S L I L

AMETHYST CHRYSOPRASE AMETHYST CITRINE CHRYSOPRASE EMERALD LAPISCITRINE LAZULI EMERALD MALACHITE MOONSTONE LAPIS LAZULI OBSIDIAN MALACHITE MOONSTONE OBSIDIAN 50

L I N L S A O T H I O A M L A

L E S C O I D T D T C P A T P

R Y T R P D E I R H S P A S I

T T O U R M A L I N E H Y L S

T A N Z A N I T E R L I E I L

Q O E T S I E U I P L R I I A

L Y P R E S C D L A R E M E Z

E T L A S Z O C R R P E U O U

OPAL PERIDOT OPAL QUARTZ SAPPHIREPERIDOT QUARTZ TANZANITE TOPAZ SAPPHIRE TOURMALINE TANZANITE ZIRCON TOPAZ TOURMALINE ZIRCON

T O T U Z T O E I L T I I P L

N O E Q Q L S T M A O Y P M I

O A O O A C C C M T O A H I S

SUDOKU Sudoku—also known as Number Place—is a logicbased, combinatorial numberplacement puzzle. The aim of Sudoku is to enter a number from 1 through 9 in each cell of a grid. Each row, column, and region must contain only one instance of each number.

LETTER SOUP Can you rearrange the floating letters below to spell out different words related to home and belonging? Each letter should be used exactly once in the resulting set. 1. 2. © ANY PUZZLE MEDIA LTD

3. 4.

7 8 9 3 4 3

4 9 6 7 4 3 5 2 5 6 4 7 8 5 7 9 3 8 5 4 7 1 2 9 5 6

S O OEE I R E Y UE A H NR F D M I L IL IH FR VE A NG B

5. 51

Illustrated by Tim Foley

CAT’S UP

Can you find the path that will help Big Ed reach Fluffy? Answer on page 61

Illustrated by T. F. Cook

FINISH

START

All Talk

So you say you want a word search puzzle? It’s good you spoke up! We’ve hidden 20 ways to say something in this grid. They are hiding up, down, across, backwards, and diagonally. How many can you find?

Illustrated by Scott Angle

Puzzle by Charlotte Gunnufson

Answer on page 61

Illustrated by Jennifer Zivoin

MARCH/APRIL 2016 HOROSCOPES by Chris Flisher

ARIES (March 21–April 19) The coming months represent the new year for you, so to speak. The Sun enters into Aries and the promise of spring and renewal is on the wind. Three powerful planets are gathered in your sign and they offer the support to initiate your new way forward. You are known as a starter and the opportunity has come for you to do just that. However, this time you may be a bit more serious about how you plunge forward. Instead of your usual impulsivity, you may decide to take it slowly and be more methodical in your efforts. A slow approach may yield a much more tangible result. TAURUS (April 20–May 20) Transition is your theme for the coming period. The best way to approach this is by giving in to change. The ending always brings a new beginning and the promise of renewal despite your inner doubts or inclinations. Remember, the end of a pregnancy is a birth. 56

If you can regard this period in those terms you are likely to make great strides towards your own personal development. Expect to experience a deepening of values and beliefs that substantiate your resolve to adapt. You may find your greatest gift comes in forming new relationships through group activities. GEMINI (May 21–June 21) Expect to be involved with a bevy of group activities. This is an area where you tend to shine, dear Gemini, so make yourself available and engage in any and all such ventures. You may be the happiest when there is lots of action and exchange between others. You may find that adult education classes are a marvelous outlet for such energy. Not only is your mind stimulated, but you may relish in the social setting as well. Few can juggle a multitude of thoughts better than you so unleash that quick mind of yours and enter into seminars, excursions, and organizations that bring out the child in you.

CANCER (June 22–July 22) Don’t be surprised if you are on-call for stepping in and helping out in some major way. Whether that involves offering your help as a caregiver or meeting the challenges of a new part-time job, you may find that your focus is drawn to an exciting new way to occupy your time. You may have left the working world behind, but the itch to contribute may still linger. There may be nothing so satisfying as stepping in and offering your skills to help others with their projects. Responsibility may be a significant component of your role, but you may enjoy the mantle of that position. LEO (July 23–Aug. 22) This should be a fabulous period for travel and exploration of any sort. You don’t have to pack your bags to reap the benefits of this extraordinary influence, but imagine if you did? Basically, any sort of endeavor that enables you to broaden your mind in any manner is favorable and highly likely. You

are never too old to learn something new and therefore classes or seminars in any new topic might be of special interest to you. You may enjoy gathering with others to discuss philosophical topics. Another excellent outlet is through a deepening of your spiritual values. VIRGO (Aug. 23–Sept. 22) Your interest may be piqued by the allure of the occult during this season. This is not as odd as it sounds and perhaps the simple association of that word sends you off in the wrong direction. Fear not. The esoteric sciences hold great wisdom and astrology is one of them. With that in mind, you might be curious to explore such topics. This influence unfolds in your life the area best known for the influence of outside sources and large institutions. Colleges, libraries, and municipalities are also collected in this area of your world so look to these entities for inspiration. LIBRA (Sept. 23–Oct. 22) The intellect in you will be 57

most pleased to be able to gather with close friends and potential new partners. The influence of Mercury, aligned with the Sun and Uranus together, provide a marvelous backdrop for camaraderie and socializing. Although romantic partners and close friends are the most likely players in this situation, you may also be meeting new people who ignite an old spark in you. When love comes to town, it may be easy to revert back to that child-like innocence that comes with newfound affection. The gift of communication is fully present and you may enjoy all your connections through spontaneous conversations. SCORPIO (Oct. 23–Nov. 21) This should be a fabulous period for surprises in your daily routine. Whether that means that new circumstances allow you to branch off in new areas or that you simply are fully immersed in helping others. In both cases, you will undoubtedly enjoy the thrill of giving. One of the most satisfying influences of this time frame is the joy of charity. Doing volunteer work at schools, clubs, or civic 58

organizations can be incredibly satisfying and compelling under this influence. You might even enjoy getting involved in a political campaign where your experiences come in quite handy. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22–Dec. 21) A wonderfully playful period greets you this spring. This is a time when you can be especially creative and inventive. You may find that with extra time on your hands that you discover a new hobby that completely captivates your interest. That certain childlike excitement may remind you of yourself as a child when you couldn’t wait to wake up in the morning and start working again on your new-found interest. With that type of influence, you may very well find that children are of special appeal to you. Their innocence and lack of restraint may be just the spark that ignites your own pursuit of all things creative. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22–Jan. 19) The coming changing of the seasons will allow you to

shift into another exciting period especially regarding your home and family. The focus will be centered in this area of your life and you may be surprised by the change of events that unfold there. New family members or other alterations to your family life may be welcome events that spark great conversations and gatherings. The home is a central part of all our lives, but you, dear Capricorn, have the focus keenly directed right in this most auspicious area of your life now. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20–Feb. 18) You should be entering a fabulous and productive period of research and communication. The combination of influential planets at this time is incredibly rich for you and your cerebral outlook on life. Your global view may be triggered by spontaneity to do good and spread the word accordingly. Try and find outlets that allow you to exercise that vision to its utmost impact. The spotlight will be shining on you in that area of your life. Step up and speak. If you are not involved in speaking out, you

might want to find the right outlet for the spotlight to be shining on you and all that you say. Make good use of this period and say something meaningful and benevolent. You have a unique and auspicious opportunity to make a difference. PISCES (Feb. 19–March 20) Money will most likely be your focus during this period. Whether that is investments or simply reorganizing your holdings, you may be surprised at some changes and turns that occur under this influence. No reason to run for the hills, but be prepared to discuss solutions that involve your finances and all the ramifications of your choices. This can be a wonderful time to hear of opportunities and be able to act accordingly. The secret of this influence is all about the suddenness and spontaneity of the information that comes your way and how to use it to better your position.

FUN & GAMES SOLUTIONS WORDSEARCH SOLUTION

CROSSWORD PUZZLE SOLUTION G

M O

S S

H O

U A

S M

L C

A A

I N

U P

U M

E A

SUDOKU SOLUTION

2 1 7 8 3 5 6 4 9 60

6 5 8 9 1 4 3 7 2

3 4 9 2 6 7 8 1 5

1 9 4 3 7 6 5 2 8

7 8 2 5 4 9 1 3 6

5 6 3 1 8 2 4 9 7

8 7 1 6 9 3 2 5 4

9 3 5 4 2 8 7 6 1

O A O O A C C C M T O A H I S

A M I L C I I O I I O Y R I A

M S M I H T H E E B T T O A M

A N O C R I Z O A O S B P A I

C C O I Y S A L A Y S S L I L

L I N L S A O T H I O A M L A

L E S C O I D T D T C P A T P

R Y T R P D E I R H S P A S I

T T O U R M A L I N E H Y L S

T A N Z A N I T E R L I E I L

Q O E T S I E U I P L R I I A

L Y P R E S C D L A R E M E Z

E T L A S Z O C R R P E U O U

T O T U Z T O E I L T I I P L

LETTER SOUP SOLUTION

4 2 6 7 5 1 9 8 3

1. FAMILY 2. HOUSE 3. NEIGHBOR 4. RELATIVE 5. FRIEND

N O E Q Q L S T M A O Y P M I

FUN & GAMES SOLUTIONS CATâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S UP

(Page 53)

Magazines for every age! Ages

0-2 Ages

2-6

NEW!

In Spanish and English

Ages

2-6

6-12

Highlights.com/Friends

1-800-627-1976

15 AD-HXM0315.indd 1

ALL TALK (Page 54)

1/16/15 2:09 P

RAIN, RAIN, RAIN

(Page 55)

Complete your collection of PS Magazine PS Magazine is the only pro-aging print magazine that is designed for and about older Americans.

MAGA ZINE

Feel like you are missing out? If you don’t have every issue of PS Magazine, then you are! You can now order past issues of the print magazine for $5 per issue simply by contacting 440-600-0028. ISSUE 1 The Happiness Issue

ISSUE 6 The Creative Arts

ISSUE 10 The Bonus Years

ISSUE 2 Take Control of Your Health

ISSUE 7 Family & Staying Connected

ISSUE 11 Super Humans

ISSUE 3 Our American Values

ISSUE 8 Turning Ageism Into Sage-ism

ISSUE 4 Brain Power ISSUE 5 The Era of New Technology 62

ISSUE 9 The Companionship Issue

ISSUE 12 The Style Issue ISSUE 13 What’s Your Heritage? ISSUE 14 The Wonders of Nature

MOVIE SCREENING

ADVANCED STYLE PS Enrichment, a division of PS Lifestyle, offers your senior living community the special opportunity to host a movie screening of the documentary film, ADVANCED STYLE (run time: 72 minutes). Street style photographer Ari Seth Cohen and director Lina Plioplyte dive into the personal lives of New York City’s most fashionable seniors in ADVANCED STYLE. These older women dispel conventional ideas about beauty and aging and prove that with age comes grace, confidence, boldness, flair, and new, unimagined opportunities for fame and fortune. Sign up to have PS Enrichment provide your community with a DVD of ADVANCED STYLE, the public performance rights to show the film to a non-paying audience on organization grounds, and a digital flier to print out to promote your screening. Respond by email to info@pslifestyle.com with the header “Movie Screening” or deliver this form in person to any member of the PS Lifestyle team.

Community name Contact name Phone number Address Desired date for screening Sponsored by ENRICHMENT

SAM GROSS THE NEW YORKER COLLECTION/THE CARTOON BANK

THE L AST L AUGH

“Who gets Meals on Wheels?” 75 Flights of Stairs Bill, John, and Phil were traveling together on business in the big city, and were assigned a suite of rooms on the top floor of a 75-story hotel. After a long day of meetings, they returned to their hotel and were shocked to hear that the elevators were not working and they would have to climb 75 flights of stairs if they wanted to get to their suite. Bill said to John and Phil, “Let’s break the monotony of this unpleasant task by concentrating on something interesting. I’ll tell jokes for the first 25 flights, John can sing songs for the next 25 flights, and Phil can tell sad stories the rest of the way. They all agreed it was a good idea. So, Bill began by telling jokes and they were all amused. At the 26th floor, Bill stopped telling jokes and John began singing, much to everyone’s entertainment. At the 51st floor, John stopped singing and it was Phil’s turn to tell sad stories. “I will tell my saddest story first,” he said. “I left the room key in the car!” 64