The Mudeford Mag | May 2022

Amidst alot of sadness that world events have broughtusrecently,one reason to celebrate this year will be theQueen’sPlatinum Jubilee. TheUK hasa long historyoforganisedstreet partiesand there’s still plenty of time to organiseone in your area or maybe searchfor anevent taking placenear you.

With so manyBank Holidays happeningoverthe next fewmonths, youmay want totake advantageof thoseextra days andcreate apainting forthe StanpitVillage Hall competition, details canbe foundon page S26.

Iwishyou ahappy andsunny Bank Holiday.

Best Wishes, Julie

Disclaimer:Whilstevery care hasbeentaken to ensure thatdata in this publicationisaccurate,thepublisher cannotaccept anyliability to anypartyfor loss ordamagecaused by errorsoromissions resultingfromnegligence ,accident or anyother cause. TheMudefordMagdoesnotofficially endorseanyadvertising material included within this publication.Nopartof this publication maybeproduced, stored in anyretrieval systemsortransmittedin anyform,without priorpermission of thepublisher.

10.TransformingYourSleep

16.StressFreeVisitstothe Vets

20.Puzzles

24.ChurchNews

S2.Recipe: Coffee &WalnutMuffins

S4.Competition

S6.Low MaintenanceGardening

S8.Recipe: SpanishMeatballs

S10. What’s onattheRegentCentre

S12. Book Review

S14. WineoftheMonth

S18. UnderstandingEatingDisorders

S20. ShortStory

S24. Life AfterDivorce

S28. History: PresidentZelenskyy

S30. Blyth HarbourLights

66.BirdWatching

72.Travel:Vancouver

76.RNLIMudefordLifeboat Guild

Editor:Julie Smith

Tel:01425270100 or 07762701271

Email:julie@themudefordmag.co.uk www.themudefordmag.co.uk

AprilCover Photo: John Clarke

MayCover Photo: Will Evans PrintedbyWarwick Printing Company

SHOWCASEYOURHOLIDAYPROPERTYAND MAXIMISEYOURBOOKINGSBYADVERTISINGON ALL THE ‘GOTO’HOLIDAYSITESFORJUST12% Letusmanageyourenquiriesandbookingsgivingyou peaceofmind thatyour responserateswill remainhigh andthatyourpropertywillgetthebookingsitdeserves. Forjust12%plusvat –bookingsare centrallymanaged andmadeviaAirnbnb,HolidayLettings/TripAdvisor, VRBOandourownwebsitewww.mudhuts.life

Formoreinformation,pleasecall jane on07801679985oremail jane@mudhuts.life

MudHutsis alocallybasedholidaylettingscompanythathasbeenoperatingsince2006. ThebusinessisownedbyhusbandandwifeteamIanandJaneandsupportedby ateamof experiencedcustomerserviceprofessionals.

Theyarelaunching anewservicefor2022torunalongsidetheirfullymanagedmodel.Thisis designedforowners,whomanagetheirownpropertiesintermsofcleaningandmaintenance needsandwishtogainmaximumexposurebyadvertisingwithallthemajor‘go to’holiday agencieswithoutthepersonaloverhead.

“Everyonehastheirfavourite goto,”saysJane,“andwhatweofferis aback-officesystemthat linkstoourownwebsitewww.mudhuts.lifealongwiththelikesofAirbnb,HolidayLettings/Trip Advisorand Vrbo.Wehaveadedicated teamwhoareconstantlyansweringenquiriesfrom potentialguests.Itisoftenthe first peopleto respondwhogetthebookingandaswealready have‘Superhost’status,we haveagreat reputationgivingnewgueststheconfidencethattheir bookingwillbehandledin aprofessional,friendlyandefficientmanner.”

Keepingupwithconstantenquiriescanbetimeconsumingforownersandlinkingcalendars togethertoensurenodoublebookingsaremadeisveryonerouswithoutthesystemstosupportit. Owners/operatorsmaybe using asimilarmodelwithoneagency,butthis modelgivesmaximumexposureonallthemainsitesat ahighlyreducedrate.

Tel:07801679985Email:info@mudhuts.life

Web:www.mudhuts.life

Ourmission at BransgoreServices issimple: toprovidehigh-quality servicesin atimelymanner.Ourteam caterstoeachproject’sspecificneeds toensure excellence.Wehopeyou’ll findwhatyou’relooking for.

Formoreinformationorgeneral enquiries,feelfreetogetintouch.

HandymanServices

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•InteriorFixtures &Fixings

•TVMounting

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•Carpentryanddoorhanging

•GardenMaintenance

•Pest Control

HomeImprovementServices

•Extensions •Conservatories

•Glazing -Windows &Doors

•FullGlazingSolutions

•Groundworks

•ReRoofing •Bricklaying

•Patios &Driveways

Transforming Your Sleep

Onaverageadultsneed7- 9hoursofsleepa night,ifyoudon’tgetenoughsleepyourbrain can’tfunctionproperly.Chroniclackofsleep, orgettingpoorqualitysleep,increasestherisk ofdisordersincludingcardiovasculardisease, highbloodpressure,diabetesandobesity.As wellasyourphysicalhealthitcanaffectyour mentalandemotionalhealth.Howpositive, motivatedandhappyyoufeelduringyour wakinghourscanbedirectlyaffectedbyyour previousnight’ssleep.

Transformingyoursleepdoesn’thavetobea hugehurdletoovercome.Thereare anumber ofsmallchangesthatcanbemadewhich shouldintimetransformthewayyouapproach windingdownandgoingtobed.

Declutter: Keepyourbedroomneatand tidy,you’llfeelcalmand relaxed,ratherthan stressedwhenyouenteritatnight.

Warmdrink: Enjoy acaffeine-freeherbaltea containingsleepinducingvalerian root.Even caffeineconsumed 6hoursbeforebedcould reducesleeptimebyonehour.

Routine: Gotobedandgetupatthesame timeeachdayto regulateyourinternalclock. It’sbesttosticktothat routine,evenifyou didn’tsleepwelltohelpgetyour routineback ontrack.

Temperature: Turn yourthermostatdown, coolertemperaturessignaltoyourbodyitis timetosleep,experts recommendthatthe bedroomshouldbebetween18-20°Cfor ultimatecomfort.Open awindowovernight toletfreshairflowandkeepthe roomcool. Choosebeddingmadeofnaturalfabrics,such asbambooasthisiswickingandwillhelpto regulateyourbodytemperatureovernight.

Aroma: Fillyourbedroomwith relaxing essentialoils,choosefrankincense, rose geraniumandchamomile,aswellastraditional lavender.

Music: Play arelaxingandupliftingplaylist,or guidedmeditation.Thiscan relaxyouaswellas maskintrusivebackgroundnoise.

Read: Reachfor agoodbookandavoid scrollingonyourphoneforatleastanhour beforebed.Bluelightemittedbyscreenscan disruptyoursleepcycleandmelatoninlevels.

Darkness: Darknesscuesyourbody toproducethesleep-inducinghormone, melatonin.Theeffectsoncircadianrhythmcan occurevenwithlowlevelsofindoorlightand closedeyes,try abamboosleepmaskfora completeblackout.

Journal: Leave anotepadbesideyourbed, getswirlingideasandworriesoutofyour headandontopaper.

ByEmmaMorgan

PrioryVeterinaryGroup, 59 Purewell,ChristchurchBH231EN

Tel:01202484466

Email: office@prioryvetgroup.com

Website: www.prioryvetgroup.com

StressFreePetsatthe Vets

Howtoprepareyourpetsfor atriptothevets

HereatPriory Vets weloveseeingyouand yourfurryfriends. We wanteveryvisittous tobe ahappy,stress-freeexperiencefor everyoneinvolved,sohereare afew handy tipsonhavingthebesttriptothevets.

We highly recommendyougetpuppiesand kittensusedtogentlehandlingtechniques earlyonathome.Thiscaninvolvegentle restraint,touchingtheirfeetandnails, lookingintheirears,andcheckingtheir teeth.Iftheyexperienceallofthisatan earlyagethentheywillbecomeusedto itanditwon’tbeasunfamiliarwhenit happensatthevets.

Dogsshouldbewearingwell-fittedcollars andharnesseswithappropriateleads sotheycanbekeptundercontrolifthey become abittooboisterousornervous.A pocketfuloftastytreatsisalso ausefultool tokeepthemdistractedandcalm.

It’salsohelpfultotellyourvetornursewhat commandsyourdogknowsandwhatkind oftreatstheylike, aseverydogis differentandyou mayhavetaught themdifferent wordsorhand signals.Ifwecan communicatewith yourdogbetterit makesourjob alot easierandenables themtotrustus moreandbecome morerelaxed.

Catsnotoriouslydonotlikegoingintotheir carriers –especiallytothevets.Thebest waytocombatthisistomakethecarrier afamiliar,comfortableplace. Trytokeep thecarrieroutatalltimesinthehouse somewhere,with acomfyblanketinside. Thiswayyourcatwillseeitasmoreofa safespaceandwillhopefullyuseitasa bed. Youcouldalsofeedyourcatinthereor givelotsoftreatssotheyassociateitwith goodthings.

Ifyouareshoppingfor anewcatcarrier,we advisegetting a‘top-loading’oneorone withaneasily removablelid.Thismeans whenbeingcheckedatthevetstheycanbe easilytakenoutofthecarrierorexamined whilestillinit.Thisisultimately alot less stressfulforyourcat,sotheyarelesslikely tobecomemorenervousorlashoutinfear.

AtPriory Vetsallthestaffwillhandleyour petsin apatientandgentlemanner.Ifyou canputtheseideasandtoolsintoplacewe canallworktogethertomakeyourpets’trip tothevets afun,enjoyableexperience.

LOW MAINTENANCE GARDENING

Enjoy not endure your garden

Low maintenance gardening doesn’t mean you cannot have a beautiful garden full of plants and interesting features. It does, however, take a bit of planning to get it right.

It is also important to get the right balance to live in harmony with the wildlife around us and retaining environmentally carbon capturing plants.

A few tips on how to achieve it..

Trees and evergreen shrubs require little maintenance apart from an annual trim. Flowering perennials only need the dead growth to be cut back in the winter

Bulbs and annuals are easiest grown in pots and containers. Use bark as a mulch on your beds to suppress weeds and stopping the soil drying out too quickly

Letting the corners go a bit wild will save work and encourage the butterflies and bees

Install a simple water feature and log wall for the wildlife

Sit back and enjoy.

If you would like some expert advice on creating your low maintenance garden that is also wildlife and environmentally friendly contact Colin to arrange a visit and free initial consultation.

“Creating the best of both worlds”

MeatballsinSpanish Sauce

Ingredients (for 12 people):

500gofMincedPork

500gofMincedBeef

2Eggs

100 gManchegoCheese

3ClovesofGarlic

1TablespoonChoppedParsley

1GlassofMilk

APinchofGroundCloves

1sliceofslicedbreadwithoutcrusts

FortheSauce:

1GlassofWhiteWine

1GlassofMeatStock

1GreenPepper

3Grated Tomatoes

2Carrots

2Garlic

1Onion

Oliveoil

SaltandPepper

Preparation:

Putthemincedmeatin abowltogether withthesliceofbread,previouslysoaked inmilk,theeggs,thegratedcheese,the choppedgarliccloves,thegroundcloves andtheparsley.Mixverywell.

Takesmallportionsofmeatandshapeinto balls.

Placeon abakingtrayandcookfor7 minutesat200c.

FortheSauce:

In afryingpanwithoil,frytheonionand garlicfor 5minutes,addthecarrotsand pepper,andfryfor another5minutes. Addthetomatoandcookfor 5minutes more.Thenaddthewine,letthealcohol evaporateandaddthestock,stirandcook for acoupleofminutes.

Finally,addthemeatballstothesauceand cookfor afurther15minutes.

ExperiencetheflavouroftheMediterranean,cuisinewithsoul,madewithlove,toteachandtransmit theGastronomicCultureofSpain.

Withsimple,fresh,aromatic,variedingredients,fullofflavourandsunshine. We make100%Spanish foodtoenjoyandshare. We don’tsellanything,everythingonthischannelisfreeandauthentic.

Watch me prepare this and other meals on my youtube channel: https://youtube.com/c/TheSpanishKitchen eMail me: thespanishkitchen@outlook.com

AuthenticMediterraneanCuisinewithChefJosé thentic Mediterranean C isine with Chef José

APRIL

THESPIRITOFELVISINCONCERTSTARRING

GORDONHENDRICKS

Sat23rdApril:7.30pm

Tickets:£28,Concessions£27

WinnerofITV’s“StarsintheirEyes”.GordonHendricks supportedbyhis11-pieceband.

MILTONMUSICALSOCIETYPRESENTS“CHESS”

Wed27th,Thurs28th,Fri29thApril:7.30pm &Sat30April:2.30pm &7.30pm

Tickets:£18,Concessions.£17

MusicalwrittenbyTimRice&ABBAsongwritersBenny AnderssonandBjörnUlvaeus.Scoreincludesthehit songs“IKnowHimSoWell”,“OneNightinBangkok”& “Anthem”.

SHOWINGONNATIONALRELEASEDATE!

DOWNTONABBEY:A NEWERA(CERTTBC)

DailyscreeningsFri29thApril -Thurs19thMay

Tickets:£7.50,Concessions.£7

Forlmtimes,visitwww.regentcentre.co.ukorcallthe BoxOfceon01202499199

MAY

REGENTCOMEDYCLUBWITHLOUSANDERS

Thurs5thMay:7.30pm

Tickets:£17

‘Taskmaster’championand‘LiveattheApollo’ starLouSandersheadlines. WithsupportfromJoshJones,MorganRees &hostedbyFelicityWard.

THEFULLMONTYREVISITED

Fri6thMay:7.30pm

Tickets:£22.50 -StrictlyOVER18sonly. Theoriginal2CRFMFullMontyisbackforonenight only!RaisingawarenessofMensCancerandraising fundsforMacmillanCaringLocally’s “BrickbyBrick”appeal.

THEREALTHING

Sat7thMay:7.30pm

Tickets:£26,Conc.£25

OriginalvocalistsChrisAmoo&DaveSmith,plusa liveband,performthelegendaryhits“YoutoMeAre Everything”,“Can’tGetbyWithoutYou”&more.

DRACULA:PRINCEOFDARKNESS(1966)[35MMPRESENTATION]

Inassociationwith‘DirtintheGateMovies

Sun 8May:8pm

Tickets:£10,Concessions£9

BANFFMOUNTAINFILMFESTIVAL2022 (REDPROGRAMME)

Thurs12thMay:7.30pm

Tickets:£15.50,Conc.£14(Groupsof6+£14)

IAN WAITEANDVINCENTSIMONE…ACTTWO Sat14May:7.30pm

Tickets:£36,Conc.£34.50

VIPtickets:£70each(includes apre-show meet &greet &signedprint)

JointheStrictlyComeDancingstarsforamagical eveningofdance,comedy&song! Agerecommendation14+

HORRIBLEHISTORIESLIVE:TERRIBLETUDORS

Sun15thMay2022:1.30pm &4.30pm

Tickets:£15,Conc.£13(Over60s,U16s,Students) FamilyTicket:£52(2adults, 2U16s)

ROYALBALLET:SWANLAKE(LIVE)

Thurs19thMay:7.15pm

Tickets:£18.50,Concessions:£16.50, Child(U16):£10

THEFOG(1980) -[35MMPRESENTATION](15) Inassociationwith‘DirtintheGateMovies Fri20thMay:10pm

Tickets:£10,Concessions.£9

REGENT90TH:

ACELEBRATIONOFMUSICALTHEATRE

Sun22ndMay:7.30pm

Tickets£10(allproceedstothe RegentCentreDevelopmentFund) 90yearsofmusicaltheatreclassicsperformedby talentedlocaltheatregroups.

EXHIBITIONONSCREEN:

PISSARRO: FATHEROFIMPRESSIONISM(PG)

Tues24thMay:7.30pm &Sun29May:2.30pm

Tickets:£14.50Concessions.£13.50

NTLIVE:STRAIGHTLINECRAZY(LIVE)

Thurs26thMay:7pm(Encore:Sun12thJune:2pm)

Tickets£14Concessions.£12

RalphFiennesstarsinNicholasHytner’snewplay, broadcastlivefromtheBridgeTheatreinLondon.

THESOUNDOFSPRINGSTEEN

Sat28May:7.30pm

Tickets£25.50

Aneight-piecetributeto“TheBoss”.PerformingBruce Springsteen’sgreatesthitsincluding‘BornintheUSA’, ‘GloryDays’,‘StreetsofPhiladelphia’andmore.

BookReview

ATownCalledSolacebyMaryLawson£8.99

Clara’srebelliousoldersisterismissing.Following arowwiththeir mother,Rosehasstormedoutofthehouseandsimplydisappeared. Eight-year-oldClara,isolatedbyherdistraughtparents’effortsto protectherfromthetruth,isgrief-strickenandbewildered.Sheyearns touncoverthetruthaboutwhathappened.Liam,newlydivorced andnewlyunemployed,movesintothehousenextdoorandwithin hoursgets avisitfromthepolice.Itseemshe’ssuspectedof acrime. Elizabethisalsothinkingabout acrimecommittedthirtyyearsago,one thathadtragicconsequencesfortwofamilies.Shedesperatelywants tomakeamendsbeforeshedies.SetinNorthernOntarioin1972,the novelexploresthe relationshipsofthesethreepeoplebroughttogether byfateandthemistakesofthepast.Byturnsgrippinganddarklyfunny, ituncoversthelayersofgrief, remorseandlovethatconnectus,but showsthatsometimes anew lifeispossible.

ALittleDevilInAmerica:

InPraiseofBlackPerformancebyHanifAbdurraqib£9.99

Aftersomanyenquiriesaboutthe WorldofDickensjigsawfrommy reviewinthelastedition,hereisanothernewjigsaw release,andit couldn’tbemoreperfectforlocal residents!What aspread,withthe mainpuzzlealsocontaining 5mini-puzzlesforextrafiendishness.The onlyproblemisthatitisboundtomakemehungry!Don’tforgetthatour puzzle room isnow apermanentfeatureintheback room oftheshop.

The World’sWorstPetsbyDavid Walliams,£14.99 (ourprice£11.99)published28thApril.

Pre-orderavailable(ages 7to11yearsold)

Thesetentalesoftheworld’scraziestcreatureswillhaveyoushaking withlaughter,and you’llneverlookatpetsinthesameawayagain! MarvelatHoudini,themagician’srabbit;take atriparoundtheworld withZoomthesupersonictortoise;gaspatthechaoscreatedby Griselda, agrizzly bearwith abig secret;andrunforyourlives,it’sFurp, themonstrousgoldfish!Goodpets,badpets,supervillainpets,petsas bigas ahouse andpetsthatcouldeatyouinonegulp –these arethe mosthilariousandhorrendousanimalsaround.

Previousbooksinthe World’sWorstseriesinclude 3volumesof atrociousChildren,someterrible Teachers,andpitifulParents.

Whynotpopintotheshoptohave abrowse,chooseoneofouralternative Valentine’scardsand seelotsoflovelynewpublicationsforspring?Oryoucancontactuson 01202418403,email sales@bh6booksandhome.co.uk or findusonsocialmedia @bh6booksandhome toplace ordersanddiscoverallthatwehavetoofferatBH6BooksandHome.

We tastedthislastweekinLondonforthefirsttimeand voteditthebestwinewetriedthatday. We wrote:Beautifulsilkywhite,lotsofminerals, perfectlybalanced,almostviscousonthepalate... fantastic!

Sitswellwithspice;Moroccan,AsianandIndiandishes.

UNDERSTANDINGEATINGDISORDERS

ByDrArmorelWood

Whatisaneatingdisorder?

Itisnotjustlimitedtothecommon disordersthatweallhaveheardof, forexample,anorexiaorbulimia.It encompassesanyunhealthybehaviour involvingfoodorconcernaboutweightor bodyimageandmayinvolvecontrolling foodinputthroughpurging,fastingor excessiveexercise.Itisbelievedthat 1.25millionpeopleintheUKsufferfrom thesedisorders.Surprisinglyperhaps25% ofsufferersaremaleand85%oftotal sufferersmaynotactuallybeunderweight. Thedisordermaynotnecessarilybeabout foodpersebutmay represent acoping mechanismtoallowthesufferertofeel incontrol.

Thecauseofthesedisordersisnot entirelyclearbutmayinvolve agenetic predispositionandthenanenvironmental trigger.Thelattermaybe amajorlifeevent suchas atrauma,bereavementorsexual abuseormayinvolvesomethingseemingly quitetrivialtoanobserver.Triggersmight be acriticism regardingbodyshape, weightoreatinghabitsormaybedueto pressurefromhobbiesorjobstomaintain acertainbodyshapesuchasballet, modelling,gymnasticsetc.Thosewith perfectionistorobsessivepersonalitiesare moreatrisk.

Eatingdisordersthriveonsecrecyand deceit.Itispartofthedisorderandcauses

addeddistressforfriendsandfamily members.Oftensufferersarepreoccupied aboutfoodandself-consciousabout eatingaroundothers.Theyoftenexercise andeatinsecret.Becausethismental healthdisorderisusuallyassociatedwith shame,guilt,anxiety,andlowself-esteem itisoftenaccompaniedwithlowmood, irritabilityandsocialwithdrawal.

Howshouldwebehavearoundourfriends andfamilythataresufferers?

Keeptryingtotalktothemeventhough youmightbemetwithangeranddenial thatanythingiswrong.Breakingthe secrecyisalwaysessentialfor recovery tooccur,andtheearliertreatmentoccurs thebetterchanceof recovery.Discuss howyoumighthelpbutavoidtrying totakecontrol.Focusonhowtheyare feelingratherthanfocusonweight,eating habitsoractivities.Howeverharditis,be patienttrynottoexpressanger,frustration ormakeaccusations.Focusandpraise positivethingsintheirlivesunrelatedto eatingorweighttotryandbuildtheirselfesteem.Keeptryingtoincludethemasthe isolationandwithdrawalonlyfeeds theproblem.

Watching alovedonewithaneating disordercanbeverydistressingandcause feelingsoffrustrationandhelplessness sobehonestaboutyourownfeelingsand reachoutforhelp,adviceandsupport fromyourGPoreatingdisorder charityBEAT.

M:07765915211

E:woodarmorel@gmail.com

W: mapletreetherapy.org.uk

DrArmorel WoodMBACP, AccredMNCSCounsellor

Cruising

By ColinSeager

FromStephanie’sviewpointintheconservatory, itseemedthatJackwasassaultingthe roses, notpruningthem.Shecontinuedwithherbook, althoughifanyonehadaskedthegistofthelast fewpages,shewouldhavebeenhardputtocome upwithanythingsensible.

AsthelateafternoonlightfadedJackhunghis secateursintheshed,wentindoorsandplonked into aLloydLoomnexttoher.‘Sorryaboutthat,old girl. Ihadtogetitoutofmysystem.’

“Don’tworry,I shareyourfrustration,putyourfeet up,I’llmakesometea. We needtotalkaboutit.’

‘No,no,youstaytheredarling.Doingthe roses clearedmyhead,althoughI’veprobablydone moreharmthangood;shouldhaveleftthemtothe gardener.Theyareourkids,butthey’vegonetoo farthistime.I’veanidea.’

Stephaniestoodupandputdownherbook. ‘Let’sgointheliving room. Ican’t bear lookingat my reflectionanylonger,particularlyfeelingthe way Ido.’

Tenminuteslater,tuckedintotheirfavourite chairs,Jackpouredthetea.‘Istillfindithardto believethattheycouldhavebeensoupinarms becausewedidn’tconsultthembeforewebooked the round-theworld-cruise.God,Steff,whenHarry questionedwhywewerespendinghisandBetsy’s moneyonthat, Inearlyexploded.’

‘Iknowdear,I wasthere. Youworriedme,any moreofthatandyouwon’tmakethe cruise anyway.Thetruthis,perhaps,we’vealwaysmade ittooeasyforthem. We’veworkedourbuttsoffto

getwhereweare today.They’veneverhadtowant foranything.’

‘ThetroubleisSteffyou’reright.It’sour fault,we ledthemtobelievetheyhad akindofaristocratic entitlement. We gavethembothprivateeducation, helpthroughuniversityandthey’vebeen beneficiariesoftheBankofMumandDad.Plus, inthelastfewyearswe’vedonethesameforthe grandchildren.’

Stefanieputdownhercup.‘Butmaybe,weare beingtooharsh,darling.Despiteeverything Istill lovethemtobits.Itsoundslikeyou’vedecided. How Ihatetheseconfrontations. Idon’twantto losethem.’

Jackwentoverandsatonthearmofherchair. ‘Don’tupsetyourself,don’tcry.I need asplashof somethingstrongerthantea.Howaboutyou?’She declinedhisinvitation.

Backinhischairhe reachedacrossandheld herhand.

‘Not adecisionSteff,but IknowwhatI’dliketo do.It’snotaboutteachingthem alesson,although Isupposeitprobablyis.Doyou remembera fewyearsagoforyourwritinggrouponeofthe exerciseswastowrite apieceofflashfictionwith thetitleDispensing?’

‘Could Ieverforget. Istruggledatfirstand finishedupwith astorytorivalJekyllandHyde; thatwentdownwellas Iremember.But Idon’t understand.’

‘Thatgotmethinking.Howaboutthis?First,we dispensesomejustice. We changeourwillssothat whenthelastofusdropsofftheperchthereisonly aperfunctoryamountofcashandthehouseto shareout.Second,fromtomorrowthingschange.’

‘Jack,you’reworryingme.Howdoyoumean, change?’

Now,moreatease,Jackdownedhis Glenmorangie.‘Hmm, Ineededthat.Righto.For monthswe’vetalkedaboutdecluttering,makingit easyforthekids,etal.So,let’sdothatinearnest. We dispensewithabsolutelyeverythingwedon’t needforourdailyliving.And,ifwewanttogo onanothertencruises,wedon’tdiscussit,we justgo…untilourmoneyrunsout.Howdoesthat sound?’

Stephanieseemedtoshedyearsassheturned andsmiled.‘You’vegotitallworkedoutdarling. Whydidn’tIthinkofthat? Idoloveyou.’

Photo:HarliMarten-UnSplash

Photo: Matheus

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What didyou do when yougot adivorce?

Thisonegoesouttoeveryonewhohasbeen divorcedorisgoingthrough aseparation rightnow.

In2016 Ipartedfrommyex-husband.Itwas theworstthingthathadeverhappenedin mylifeandnotsomething Ihadplannedor wishedfor.Infact,in2010 Ihad anightmare, dreamingthatmyexand Ihadsplit. Iwas so relievedtohearhimdownstairs.Maybea psychicpremonition? Youdecide.Itfreaked meoutandmystrengthofmyfeeling,made me releasethatthethoughtofbeingsinglein my50’swas notsomething Iwanted.

Rollon afewyearslaterandmynightmare wastobecomemy reality.

However,Iwastheonewhoforcedthe decision. Ihadbeenunhappyforsome timeandknewthat Iwould prefertobeon myownthanfaceyearsof adifferentkind ofloneliness,thelonelinessofanempty marriage.Itwasthehardestthing Ihad to face.Myown reality.

Inthesubsequentyears Iwastogothrough everyemotionfromfeelingliberatedto feelingincrediblysadanddesolate. Icame to realisealsohowco-dependent Ihadbeen. Itwasmuchmoretaxingthan Ithoughtit wouldbeand Iadmit, Ihavetakenyearsto heal.

Manypeoplecomeoutofmarriagesand quicklyfindnewlove,oratleastseekitbutI thinkyouneedtimetoheal.Itisokaytotake yourtime.

Ialsowas abletospeakopenlytomy husbandwithloveandkindnessabout wherewehadgonewrongbutwhatalsohad beenrightaboutourmarriage.

Forme, Irediscoveredtheoldmeand starteddoingthings Ihadwantedtodofor years.Clubbing,festivals,hiking,spiritual developmentevengetting atattooat50 yearsofage! Idonot regretanyofit,butI didlaughwhen Ireadanarticleabouthow manywomenwhodivorceintheir50’sgets atattoo.Andtherewasmethinking Iwasso unique –turnsoutnotso.

Whateveryoudo(tattoo’saside)and whereveryouareonthedivorcejourney, acceptthatyouhave abitoftimetomakeit throughtheothersideandthereisnoneed torush.Theharmonyyouseekiswithinyour grasp.

Photo:CodyBlack~UnSplash

LOCALHISTORY

Volodymyr Zelenskyy (1978-)

At atimeofnationalcrisisall we askofour Prime Ministeror Presidentisthattheylead by exampleanddon’t askus to doanythingthey’re notprepared to dothemselves.Inother words we want them to shareourpain. Igiveyou Volodymyr Zelenskyy (1978-),the Presidentof Ukraine.

Youmay besurprised at my choiceofsubject andmayquestionits ‘localhistory’credentials butthen,asJohn Donneintoned:‘No Manisan Island’. Kyivis twinnedwithits fellowcapitalcity of Edinburgh;thesteelcityofDonetskwithour ownsteelcityofSheffield; Lvivwith Rochdale; Odessa, acityI’vevisited,twinnedwith Liverpool,acityI’veworkedin; Luhansk twinned with Cardiff.JFK once said‘’Ichbinein Berliner’at theheightofthe Cold War: Nowa lotofus feel we areUkranian,inspirit at least.Asforhistory,I argueinoneof my talksthathistoryisconstantly beingmade,the Russianannexationof Crimeain 2014beingoneofthe examples Icite.

Volodymyr Zelenskyy ismorethaninteresting, aformeractorand comedianwhonowfinds himself PresidentofUkraineduringhisnation’s darkesthour.BorninaRussian-speakingpart ofsouth-eastUkraine,Zelenskyy obtaineda

lawdegreebutbranchedintocomedyand acting,includingone TV showinwhichhe prescientlyportrayedthe PresidentofUkraine. Whenhestood forthe real Presidencyin2019 hiscandidacywas centrist,populist,antiestablishmentandanti-corruption. Political outsiderhemayhavebeen buthe rompedhome with over73%ofthe vote.Hedulybecamethe 6th PresidentofanindependentUkrainein May2019,hisparty ‘Servant ofthe People’(such shouldallpoliticalpartiesbe).

Zelenskyy’s styleismodern. Whilst Trump took to Twitter,Volodymyrtakes to Instagram. Whilst hehashadsomesuccessas Presidenthealso hascritics,suchistheacceptedlotofpoliticians. Everythingchanged forhimandhiscountry in February2022whenRussialauncheda full-scaleinvasion. ‘Comeththehour’theysay. Zelenskyy wasgiventheopportunitytofleeand establish agovernmentinexilebutdeclined.‘I needammunition,not aride’. Whenhis country neededleadershiphe wasthereonsocialmedia onthecapital’s streetsin Army-stylefatigues vowing,Churchillian-style,thatRussiantroops wouldseeUkrainianfacesnotbacks.Whilsta refugeecrisisunfoldedwith womenandchildren fleeing,menwho’d neverhandled agun were puttingdownlibrarybooks,lathesandlab equipmentandpickingup rifles, inspired bya Presidentstanding four-squarewithhispeople. In anotherof my talksI saythereisnogreater urgethan to defendhomeandhearthagainst foreigninvasion.Hereisanother examplewrit large.

Idon’t know ifthereare Ukraniancitizensliving inourareawhowillget to readthisbutifthere areIhavethissimplemessage foryou: Your countryismycountry. Your Presidentismy President.

ByStephenRoberts www.steveroberts.org.uk Twitter:@SRChristchurch

STOURCHIROPRACTICCLINIC’S ADVICEFOR SPRINGGARDENERS

Spring isagreat time for gardenersto get a start on preparing the garden for summer and with everyone in a rushto get those jobsdone, thereis a risk that gardeners mayinjurethemselves… don’t overdo itwiththetrowel.

With spring fastapproaching, thenation’sgardenerswillbedusting offtheir welliesandcoming out of the woodworkasthegardening seasonsetsin. Many peoplevisit Stour ChiropracticClinic to gettheirgardening related injuriesorproblemsresolved.

Inanattempt tokeep everyonehealthyenoughtoactually enjoysitting in theirgarden comesummertime,Stour ChiropracticClinichasidentified some good tips tohelp you getthroughthosegarden taskssafely.

 Don’t start with heavy-dutygardening – start withthelighterjobs like cleaningand sharpening your gardening tools andthen move on.

 Ifyouare pruning, uselonghandledsecateursand get as closetothe plantsasyoucan.

 Don’ttwist – ifyouhaveto usealadder to reach trees,hedges,large shrubsorfences –treatitlikeadancingpartner;alwaysfaceitandmove theladderregularly. Alwayskeepyour shoulders,hipsandknees pointing inthesamedirection. Also,makesure the ladder isfirmlyand safely plantedinpositionand ifpossible,havesomeone else standing atthe base tokeep an eye onthings.

 Iflayingapatio,keep the slabcloseto your body andbendyouknees. It is sometimesbetterto bend onekneeratherthantwo as your supporting leg givesyou a positionofstrength.

 Dress appropriately – don’t wear tight, constrictingclothes.

 Varyyouractivity;spendno more than 20-30minutesonany one thing and takeregularbreaks.

 Ifyouare planningatriptothegarden centreandbuying heavy items like bagsofcompostorpebbles – buymore small bagsratherthanonebig bag. Smalleritems areeasierand safer tocarry. If there is noother option,shoveloutsmallerquantitiesstraight fromthecarandput it into smallcontainers.

 Treat gardeninglike normal exercise; youneed towarm-upand warmdown.

 Painisawarningsign – donot ignoreit – ifyou start toachethen stop whatyouaredoing

Ifyouare inpain, remember,chiropractic is notjustforbacks. It also provideseffectivetreatmentforall typesof softtissueandjointdisorders includingankle, knee, elbowand shoulderdiscomfort. You don’thaveto put-up withpain.

Ifpreparing your garden for the spring has left you in any discomfort, feel freeto contact Stour Chiropractic Clinic for advice, or to make an appointment to see if we can help toalleviateany pain and its cause, call on 01202 484164.See our main advertisement for full details andfor ourspring specialoffer with Dr Ellen Parsons, DC

Weare delighted toannounce that Chiropractor,DrEllen Parsons DC,MChiro, has joined theteam atStour Chiropractic Clinicon a full-time basis

Ellenisfromthelocalareaand received treatment from Clinic Director,Dr Nick BlackwoodDCatStourChiropractic Clinic, since theage of 11.

UpongraduatingfromtheAECCin2020,Ellenjoined theteam at Stour Chiropractic Clinic. She treatsallkinds of patients from babiesto theelderly, correcting awide rangeof musculoskeletal conditions in hereveryday practiceand has a specialinterestin treating pregnancy relatedpain and sportinginjuries.

Ellenis passionateabout the healthbenefits that can be gained through chiropractic. Shelooks forwardtoseeingandhelping you achieve better health, improved performance insportsor work and to helpyou get moreoutoflife.

SpringSpecial Offer with DrEllen Parsons,DC

New Patient Consultation,whichincludesacomplete neurological and orthopaedic examination,assessment and report offindings, together witha treatment

*25%Off – a saving of £15.00.

For an appointmentwithEllen, call us on 01202 484164 and we will be happytohelp,oremailus: reception@stourchiroclinic.co.uk

CREATIVE PAVING

Tel: 01425278408

Mob: 07785798760

Email: scott@creativepaving.co.uk

Web: creativepaving.co.uk

BIRD WATCHING

By ValerieKelly

Withmigrationjustaroundthe cornerthere willbemuch excitementofreturningbirds to breedinour country. Thefirstofwhichwillbe Wheatears,Sand Martinsand YellowWagtails. Of otherinterest,aGlossy Ibishas returned to the Marshand roosts overonHengistbury Head.

Many birdsarenow insongincluding Song Thrushes,Dunnocks,Skylarksandtheodd Blackbird. Thereasonthesebirdsaresinging nowistowardoffotherbirdsfromentering theirbreeding territory.Itwasthoughtthat onlythemalebirdssingbut recent studieshave foundthatsomespeciesof femalesalsosing. Ourbeautiful redbreasted Robinshave long been knowntosingallthroughthe yearand bothmaleand femalesbirdsproduceatruly beautifuland variedsong.

We know thatbirdsmigrateto this country to breeddue to optimum availabilityoffood sourceswhich theyneed to sustaintheir young. Birdsmakethousandsofmilelongjourneys from Africaandoftenarrive tired,dehydrated, worn outandhungry.Ifyousee abirdsitting

still,itmay justneed to chilland rest forawhile. TheArtic Tern makesthe longestjourneyas itmigratesfrompole to pole.Theirjourney canbeup to 22,000miles ayear.Theymove betweenthe Articsummerand Antarctic

summerandareseen regularlypassingthrough HengistburyHeadtobreedinnorthand west of Scotlandand Ireland.

Thebirdwatchingboat tripthatweheldin MarchfromPoole to Warehamproved very popularandisoneofthe excitingadvantages ofbeing amemberwithsightingsof avariety ofGrebesandDiversamongstother marshbirds.

Glossy Ibis by Scott Usher

YellowWagtail by Scott Usher

Wheatear by Scott Usher

URBANADVENTUREMEETSNATURALWONDER

Welcometo Vancouver.Withits magnificentoceanfrontsettingand stunningmountainbackdrop,thisexciting cityisnothingshortofspectacular.Aplace whereyoucanswimatthebeachand exploreoneof threelocalmountainsin thesameday,where thecuisineisworldclassandthenightlifedynamic –vibrant Vancouverisbrimmingwithamazing experiencesforeverykindoftraveller.

Spring

Springin Vancouveris asighttobehold. Withthemilderweather,thecityturns alushgreenandthetreesexplodeinto colour.Watchthevividcherryblossoms bloomthroughoutthecity’sstreetsand parks,enjoywatersportsalongthe waterfrontandshopthelocalmarketsfor someseasonalspecialities.

Summer

Summertimein Vancouverbringswarm sunshine,cooloceanbreezesand awide arrayofoutdooractivitiesandcultural festivals.Soakupthesunononeofthe city’sglorioussandybeaches,goonan exhilaratingwateradventure,strollorbike

alongtheStanleyParkseawallorheadto GrouseMountaintoexplorethe stunning naturalsurroundingsandseasonal activities.

Autumn

Inthefall, Vancouver’stemperateclimate lendsitselfto relaxedwalksamidstthe lustrousfallfoliageandtoexplorationof someof Vancouver’stopgalleriesand museums.

Winter

It’snosurprisethat Vancouveris consistentlyvotedoneoftheworld’smost liveablecities.Fewplacesallowyouto exploreinthemorning,shopafterlunch, skiorboardthelocalpeaksatdusk,then comebackdownagaintodineanddance thenightawayinoneofthecity’shippest nightlifedistricts.

EpicureanExperiences

Vancouver’sacclaimedchefsusethe region’sbestseasonalingredientsand combinethemwithtraditionaltechniques andmulticulturalinfluencestocreatea delicious WestCoastfusioncuisine.Pair itallwithinternationallyacclaimedwines

fromBritishColumbia’sOkanagan Valley andlocalcraftbeerstoget auniquetaste ofthecity.

HopoverthewatertoGranvilleIslandfora fabulousfoodietour,where anexperienced guidewillusheryouthroughthemaze offoodstallsatthebustlingmarketwith plentyoftastingstopsalongtheway. Vancouverhasalso recentlybeennamed astheCraftBeerCapitalofCanada,sobe suretosamplesomeofthelocalbrews.

ReturntoNature

Thankstoitsstunninglocation,thecity managestoeffortlesslycombinethebuzz of achicurbancentrewiththe rejuvenating spiritofthegreatoutdoors.For apeaceful retreatfromcitylife,headtotheleast crowdedof Vancouver’sbeaches,Spanish Banks.Namedtocommemorateits discoverybySpanishexplorersin1792, thebeachislocatedrightbytheUniversity ofBritishColumbiaandistheperfect

placeforskimboardingonceyoulearnthe optimaltidalconditions.LushStanleyPark isthecity’sbelovedemeraldheartwith nearly1,000acresofevergreenforests, cricketpitches, rosegardens,totempoles andbeaches.StanleyPark’sseawall (8.8km /5.5 miles)makesforanexcellent walkorcycle route,providingsomeofthe city’sbestsea-to-skymountainviews.For analtogetherwilderexperience,makethe shorthopoverto VancouverIslandwhere anabundanceofwildlifeawaits.Atsea, there’sseveralspeciesofCetaceansthat inhabitthecoastalwaterswithPacific Gray,Minke,HumpbackandKillerWhales allpassingthroughalongwithporpoises andPacificWhite-sideddolphins.

To book your Vancouveradventure,call metoday.You’llbenefitfromfullfinancial protectionand a24-hour dutyoffice ready toassistyoubeforeduringandafteryour trip.

SALLYPULLEN TRAVELCOUNSELLOR

T: 01202375150

M: 07929626156

E: sally.pullen@travelcounsellors.com

W: www.travelcounsellors.com/sally.pullen

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