Main & Broad February/March 2022

Page 62

fun

memes

Happy travels with fvm Written by the Author of Fuquay-Varina Memes

FUQUAY-VARINA MEMES (also known as FVM) is a freelance writer, meme guru and an anonymous resident of Fuquay-Varina. She is the creator and manager of the FuquayVarina Memes Facebook page and has a talent for making people laugh and always taking the joke too far. Check out her blog at fvmwrites.com. fuquaymemes thefvmemes

62 February/MARCH 2022

Better weather is on the horizon, and you know what that means — day trips, weekend trips and drinking outside (just kidding, we do that all year). Soon it will be time to knock off the year-old sand that’s been stuck to the bottom of your beach chairs, grab that free tote you got for spending too much money in DSW and look for greener pasIT’S A BOUGIE PARADISE tures (a COOK OUT in a difAT THE WILMINGTON RIVERWALK — DRINKING, ferent town). DINING AND PEOPLE WATCHING. If you’re into beer and the occasional drum circle, dust off your Subaru Outback and head west. If you’re your swimsuit doesn’t cut the mustard. BONUS: ready to hide booze in a tumbler and watch your There are all-you-can-eat restaurants galore, children get swept to sea, the eastern shores are adorned with gigantic crab doors. The class! The calling your name. (Doesn’t N.C. just have it all?) sophistication! THE ELEGANCE. My point is, it’s time to travel again, and I’ve got a list of Fuquay-friendly places to visit that ASHEVILLE/BOONE are guaranteed to have a Bojangles along the way. Yes, I’ve grouped these together, but I think you know why. If you feel like heading up to one THE REDNECK RIVIERA of these two towns, you need to really look the (MYRTLE BEACH) part. We’re talking Carhartt beanies, bumper Did you seriously think I’d start with any- stickers that will outlive your car, hiking boots thing else? Both of the Carolinas have to share at-the-ready and a kayak strapped precariously this prime piece of redneck real estate, so we bet- to the roof of your car. Will you actually kayak? ter make the best of it. For residents of Holly No, you’ll drink beer and eat your weight in food. Springs, they’ve got Broadway at the Beach, Rip- Good for you. ley’s Aquarium, the Skywheel, Barefoot Landing If you head to Boone, you’ll take pictures of and Myrtle Beach State Park. your kid freaking out on Grandfather Mountain Don’t worry, Fuquay residents — they also and shop downtown until you have an incense have the Hollywood Wax Museum, biker bars, headache (bring Excedrin). a campground with a lazy river and fun, slightly If you find yourself in Asheville, you’ll do frightening nights at Family Kingdom. a pub crawl and end up drunk in the middle of Myrtle Beach is equipped with a Wings a drum circle. Or drunk in the middle of Biltand Eagles on every corner, in case you decide more, if you’re from Holly Springs. You may or

WILMINGTON CVB

Time To Get Outta Dodge


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