Make It Better: November 2012 by Make It Better

Our 3rd Anniversary Issue november 2012

spiritual

DiGita l E D i ti ON

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Advocate General is proud to more be part a system that Advocate LutheranLutheran General Hospital is proud toHospital be part of a system that helps cancer of patients bloom as survivors. ® ® Wehelps provide our patientscancer access to the latest daVinci Robotic Surgical System , non-invasive CyberKnife our radiosurgery, and offer more patients bloom as survivors. We provide patients over 100 clinical trials annually. We’re committed to helping each patient live a better life through our extensive survivorship ® access toAdvocate the latest Robotic Surgical orSystem , non-invasive program. Find an physician daVinci at 1.800.3.ADVOCATE (1.800.323.8622) visit advocatehealth.com/luth/cancer CyberKnife® radiosurgery, and offer over 100 clinical trials annually. We’re committed to helping each patient live a better life through our extensive survivorship program. Find an Advocate physician at 1.800.3.ADVOCATE (1.800.323.8622) or visit advocatehealth.com/luth/cancer. 17112_5613_8.125x10.75_4c_MakeItBetter_LGHOncologySurvivorsBloom.indd 1

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contents VOLUME 3, ISSUE 12

NOVEMBER 2012

features

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Spiritual Journeys By Julie Chernoff, Laura Hine, Kelly Konrad and Susan B. Noyes All in the Family Digging up your family’s roots on vacation By Andrea Guthmann Decorating for the Holidays Tips from the Woodlands Academy Winter Wonderwalk By Tate Gunnerson 6 Ways You Can Be Happier at Home By Laura Tiebert

Fête Frocks By Evangeline Politis Deerfield’s Possessionista Suburban mom and style star By Evangeline Politis

NOVEMBER 2012

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in every issue 16 19 20 22 25 26 73 91 93 94 96 98 106 110

56 86 82

family

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Grief and the Holidays Finding joy amidst the anguish By Kristina Tober

dining and entertainment

Having “The Talk” About Religion By Jody Buck

home

Tricks of the Trade Creating a polished room By Kristina Tober

a better you

62 76 78 80

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4 Money Mistakes By Meghan Streit

Where to Party By Julie Chernoff Overnight Orange-Pecan French Toast By Laura Hine Giving Thanks for Fall Theater By Robert Loerzel

100 Make It Better’s 2012

Tween Beauty with No Cringe Factor By Laura Hine Making the Most of Your Spa Vacation By Christy Coughlin

Carrying forward the best of magazine

Terra American Bistro Earthy and flavorful By Julie Chernoff

make a difference

Daytripper Long Grove By Talia Beechick

founder’s letter make it better column you said it contributors new in the northern suburbs recommended events trunk shows the better list theater guide music by val book list give time, give support, give things wedding profile closing thoughts

Philanthopy Awards

103 Better Makers and Their Impact

108 Congregation Sukkat Shalom

MISSION STATEMENT The mission of Make It Better is to be the most-trusted, easiest-to-use community resource and magazine that helps you make your life, and the lives of others, better.

Make It Better North Shore (ISSN No. 2151-0431) is published 11 times per year by Make It Better LLC, 1150 Wilmette Ave., Suite J, Wilmette, IL 60091-2642. Phone: 847.256.4642. Copyright 2012 by Make It Better LLC. All rights reserved. Application to Mail at Periodicals Rates is pending at Wilmette, IL and additional mailing offices. POSTMASTER: Send address changes to: Make It Better, 1150 Wilmette Ave, Suite J, Wilmette, IL 60091-2642. Make It Better is registered in the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office. Copyright 2012 by Make It Better LLC. All rights reserved.

By Susan B. Noyes

Satisfying Women’s Desire is Big Business By Marjie Killeen

NOVEMBER 2012

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ON L I N E

OUR BETTER HALF IS ONLINE

e to Specia l Notrs: ou r Rea de

e r patienc u for you Thank yo proved our im while we akeitbetter.net. ty m website, t and functionali n n te io n s o c is rm The reflect ou now truly most trusted, e “to be th se community u u easiest to We welcome yo d .” n e a rc t u c o nne res rowse, co back to b Enjoy! t. commen

iPad edition

If you have an iPad, you’ll want to download our app, which gets you each month’s magazine for free! It has lots of interactive features, including videos, photo galleries and click-through purchasing. This month’s iPad exclusive articles: Interview with New York Times-bestselling author Paul Tough, and a link to an excerpt from his new book Interview with TED-celebrity researcher Brené Brown and a link to her TED video Movie recommendations for your DVD queue Chicago fall theater reviews, with photo galleries of the productions

makeitbetter.net/ipad

special topic better letters

Make It Better has just launched two specialty e-newsletters that come once a month to your inbox: Travel Where to go and what to do in local and far-flung locales

Arts and Entertainment What’s new for date night, girls’ night out and family fun

We plan to launch more specialty newsletters. To subscribe, update your user profile by clicking the “subscribe” button at the top of makeitbetter.net. If you’re already a subscriber, go ahead and put in your information. We promise you won’t get two newsletters!

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OCTOBER 2012

the better letter Our email newsletter We update content on makeitbetter.net daily and send out email Better Letters weekly with highlights.

Sunday  Organize for the week ahead with:  food  family  fitness  community  home ideas  inspiration and local treasures Wednesday  Get ready for the weekend! You’ll find the latest in: shopping beauty restaurants entertainment quick and easy ways to make a difference Sign up today at 

MAKEITBETTER.NET/ BETTER-LETTER

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fou n de r’s l et t e r

journeys anniversaries by susan b . noye s

What is your spiritual journey and how can we help? When a smart person with heart finds her authentic path, life improves for others, too. Need inspiration? Look at the spiritual journeys pursued by the individuals featured in this issue. We’re particularly proud to mark the third anniversary of our magazine with this topic—spirituality—and the launch of our Make It Better Philanthropy Awards. The finalists we’re highlighting richly deserve to be noted as people and organizations dedicated to making the lives of others better. That’s one of the reasons we built Make It Better—to make it easy for anyone in the world searching for help online to learn from the lives made people and resources that Make It better Better highlights. If our educated, 82,582 discriminating, thoughtful audience $$ raised can find inspiration from these arfor nfps ticles, we’re confident the rest of the $1,811,122 world can benefit as well. We hope that this magazine and all of our online articles, tips, resources and other activities help you to make life better for yourself and others. Your journey is important to us, too.

meet the author Susan B. Noyes, Wilmette That every member of Susan’s immediate family is responsible for a dish and works closely in the kitchen with her brings Susan joy. As does watching others do the dishes.

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1150 Wilmette Ave., Suite J, Wilmette, IL 60091, 847-256-4642 Founder & President Susan B. Noyes Editor in Chief Laura Hine Senior Editor Kelly Konrad Art Director Jessica DeJong Designers Karilyn Owens Sarah Philippart Dining Editor Fashion Editor Finance Editor Fitness Editor Home Editor Make a Difference Editor Senior Living Editor Sex & the Suburbs Editor

Julie Chernoff Evangeline Politis Meghan Streit Christy Coughlin Tate Gunnerson Laura Tiebert Stuart Greenblatt Marjie Killeen

Contributing Writers Andrea Guthmann Robert Loerzel Kristina Tober Photographers Tate Gunnerson Nathaniel Perry Lizzie Truman Tao Zhang Web Editor Lindsay Roseman Interns Talia Beechick Jody Buck Proofreader Julie Chernoff Creative Director Cheryl Berman

Publisher & CEO Kimberly Carroll Co-founder & Vice President of Marketing Mindy Fauntleroy Chief Financial Officer Sandy Tsuchida Ad Sales Director Michelle Weiss Directors of Community Heather Blackwell Development Sandra A. Miller Director of Special Projects Suzy Guyot Hilbrant Senior Account Executives Patti Augustyn Megan Holbrook Account Executives Julie Carter Deana Lewis Jenny Newman Make It Better Foundation Sharon Krone Got feedback? E-mail susan@makeitbetter.net to advertise: Contact michelle@makeitbetter.net

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m a k e i t b e t t e r colum n

visionary for kids with special needs by susan b . noye s

Photo courtesy rush neurobehavioral center

Meryl lipton—a pediatric neurologist

with an M.D. and a Ph.D. in educational psychology—has always been ahead of her time as a compassionate, determined woman with vision and an affinity for kids with socialemotional and academic learning issues. That’s why, as a young special education teacher in the 1970s, she founded a preschool which mixed typical and atypical children decades before it became popular. Then, she returned to graduate and medical schools to learn as much as possible about how children’s brains work; again well before the broader education and medical communities recognized the importance of the brain’s role in academic and social-emotional learning. Most importantly though, Lipton’s vision and determination led her to bring together leaders of disparate fields—like psychology, psychiatry, and social work—to found the Rush NeuroBehavioral Center (RNBC). For 16 years, its mission has been to improve the diagnosis, treatment, skills development, family support and research on kids with social and academic learning challenges. As she told Scott Jacobs in a recent video, “What we do know is that our kids have a lot of strengths and some constraints. What we want to do is create environments where those strengths are used more and the constraints are lessened.”

RNBC works with individual youngsters, their families, schools—and even their school districts. Its research led to the development of assessment tools and curriculum that are benefiting kids and schools across the U.S. and Canada. For example, entire schools—like Highcrest Middle School in Wilmette—use RNBC’s Executive Functions Curriculum, which teaches better organizational skills. Lipton’s expertise is in social/emotional learning struggles—like autism—which she developed well before those issues were part of national and state education agendas. A recent multi-million dollar federal grant will allow Lipton and RNBC to develop a test that will enable staff in schools across the country to screen at-risk children for socio-learning problems. Appropriately, Lipton received the “Creating The Future Award” at a recent gala dinner that raised $1.3 million to support RNBC. As national expert Dr. Stephen Nowicki, Jr. explained in the video tribute accompanying the award, “You have to realize that in the span of 15 years, RNBC went from one woman’s idea about what could be done … to one of the best places in the country for children who have these neurologically based difficulties.” What a testimony to the power of one smart woman with heart! What hope for the future her work brings for students everywhere.

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you said it

YOU S A I D I T

We love to hear from you—so please send us your stories, comments, opinions, ideas, reviews and resources! published an article about Get Dwell’s search for a 2012 service project. Immediately, we were contacted by a lot of well-deserving charities, but one stood out in a dramatic and personal way. Rebuilding Together North Shore believes “everyone should live in a safe and healthy home.” The Lake County Housing Authority had contacted them regarding a disabled Korean War Veteran. The veteran’s home was in desperate shape. There were holes in the ceiling and his bathroom walls had rotted and come down. This veteran is in a wheelchair and handling the basic necessities of life had become almost impossible. My dad was also a Korean War Veteran and to see this gentle and kind man, who had served his country honorably, in such a desperate situation made me quickly realize we had found our service project. Rebuilding Together was planning a community day later in the month, in which volunteers would provide their time, efforts and energy. I knew if Get Dwell could complete the skilled trade projects before the volunteer day, the volunteers could restore the rest of the house and yard.

Before the big day, we sent in our Project Managers and a team of carpenters to remodel the bathroom, repair the ceilings and make the exterior weathertight. Once the skilled work was done, we helped coordinate the volunteer day. I enlisted the help of my two teenage children who reached out to their New Trier High School friends for help. The North Shore teens responded in a big way, including Sam and Sarah Rose, Ellie Wiley, John Benson, Joe Bellafiore and Jack Hardy (Jack even brought along his dad, Steve). These volunteers spent a full day painting, cleaning up the yard, rebuilding the wheelchair ramp and completing a long list of needed repairs. I am proud to say that these kids and the other volunteers transformed this house into a safe and healthy home for a disabled Korean War Veteran. Without the reach and effort of Make It Better none of this would have been possible. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for allowing us to be a part of your efforts to make it better.

OP-ED TESTING OUR WATERS

MAKE IT BETTER’S CHECK FOR $740

Pollution is distinctly nondiscriminatory—it ignores political, socio-economic and cultural boundaries. The Natural Resource Defence Council’s annual survey of beach water quality, “Testing the Waters,” proves that point. To read more of Henry Henderson’s Op-Ed about our local North Shore beaches, go to makeitbetter.net/ magazine.

Darryl Rose

President, Get Dwell

as a result of the Family Service Subscription Fundraiser was received yesterday. Thank you so much for your support! Your organization has truly brightened our year...as media sponsor for our May benefit, your generous donation for the benefit auction, and your ongoing support through the magazine. We are grateful for your partnership and your extraordinary support of regional nonprofits.

Gail Hodges

Family Service, Highland Park

NOVEMBER 2012

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PHOTO COURTESY OF GET DWELL

EARLIER THIS YEAR, MAKE IT BETTER

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CON T R I BU TOR S

Since it’s soon to be Thanksgiving, we asked our writers and one of our graphic designers to tell us about their favorite traditions.

1 | TALIA BEECHICK Barrington Stirring (and sampling) the pumpkin soup...it was the only job in the kitchen her mom trusted her with!

2 | JODY BUCK Seattle Every year Jody’s family has a “practice Thanksgiving” dinner the day before so that her mom can practice cooking the turkey.

3 | TATE GUNNERSON Chicago Post-feast bowling with the cousins is one of Tate’s favorite things about Thanksgiving.

4 | KELLY KONRAD Glenview Kelly’s favorite tradition? The family debate on how to cook the bird. People need to learn how to brine. Really.

5 | ROBERT LOERZEL Chicago Robert is skeptical about the theory that turkey makes you sleepy, but he’s still thankful when he gets a chance to stretch out on the couch later on for a turkey-induced nap.

6 | KARILYN OWENS Chicago Kari’s favorite Thanksgiving tradition is helping her mom make her great-grandfather’s Italian stuffing recipe known as “The Dressing.” She hopes to perfect the art of making this traditional recipe for her own family some day.

7 | EVANGELINE POLITIS Chicago Evangeline’s favorite part of Thanksgiving comes the day after—the infamous Black Friday. Though she’s not up at the crack of dawn huddled in a tent outside of Target, it’s always been a tradition to visit Old Orchard or the Mag Mile with her mom to take advantage of the day’s deals.

8 | MEGHAN STREIT Chicago Last year was Meghan’s first year hosting Thanksgiving. Her new favorite tradition is staying up late the night before designing the perfect Thanksgiving dining table—complete with fall flowers, a cornucopia, rustic handmade napkin rings and mini pumpkin place card holders.

NOVEMBER 2012

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FR E SH

B Y TA L I A B E E C H I C K A N D J U L I E C H E R N O F F

PHOTOS COURTESY DAVIDSTEA, ANN TAYLOR, MOMENT FOR MOM AND ARTISANAL

TEA-RIFIC! Just in time for crisp fall weather, Canadian import DAVIDsTEA opened in October. Packed with signature blends like Mint Chocolate Rooibos, Read My Lips and Chai Guarana, the lineup of more than 150 varieties is impressive. And this tea isn’t just for sipping. Check out the Foodie Collection, which comes with five different tea blends and recipe cards for cooking with your favorites. Creamy Coco Chai Chicken and Forever Nuts Banana Bread are two of my new besties! Add in the wide selection of tea accessories and gifts—from brewing pots to individual filters—and you’ve got a proper tea shop! DAVIDsTEA: 1645 N. Damen, Chicago, davidstea.com - JC

AN ARTISAN’S ASSORTMENT Say hello to Artisanal, Wilmette’s new grocery store featuring locally sourced, sustainably produced, organic and specialty products. This family-owned shop supports small, independent and artisanal vendors, and offers a curated selection of grocery products, eco-friendly cleaners and healthy snacks. They also offer fresh produce, an in-house butcher, a bakery and the “Happy Room,” which features local, craft beers; biodynamic, organic and traditional wines; and spirits from small-batch distilleries. ARTISANAL: 414 Linden Ave., Wilmette, 847-512-3155, artisanalwilmette.com - TB

A NEW ANN IN TOWN Ann Taylor got a facelift and is ready to show it off at Westfield Old Orchard. The new concept store is styled after a modern home, with crystal chandeliers and tufted furniture to better showcase the store’s merchandise, which Head Designer Lisa Axelson describes as “light, modern and feminine.” Located near Macy’s, the store offers fashion presentations and expert styling services both by appointment and for walk-in customers. ANN TAYLOR: 4999 Old Orchard Center, Skokie, 847-674-1156, loft.com - TB

EAT UP, MOMMIES! A meal delivery service for new mothers, Moment for Mom provides the hardest of workers with fresh, delicious meals and snacks. Including vegetarian, gluten-free and one-handed options (for when you just can’t set that baby down), Moment for Mom offers new mothers anything from waffles to yogurt parfaits to quiche for breakfast, wraps and salads for lunch, healthy entrees for dinner as well as nutritious, easy-to-eat snacks. MOMENT FOR MOM, 773-669-5666, momentformom.com -TB

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E V E N TS

R E C O M M E N D E D nov 2012

B Y K E L LY K O N R A D

technology, resilience, self-esteem, behavior and more, parents can learn a lot in just one morning at NCDAA’s annual event. NOV

For kids of all ages—Charles Schultz fans will flock to MSI this winter for a look at how the master worked, with a recreation of his California studio on display, and an emphasis on the holiday spirit through which so many of us became familiar with his cartoon family. NOV

editor’s pick NOV

SOFA Chicago 2012 November 2 – 4 | Navy Pier sofaexpo.com

From folk to funky, this art fair encompasses the modern movement and then some. It’s Chicago’s longest-running show and the largest, so you are certain to see something for your holiday wish list. Your admission also gets you into artist lectures and daily special events.

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The Wilmore Report November 2 | Francis W. Parker School, Chicago | chicagohumanities.org

The Daily Show fans—Senior Black Correspondent Larry Wilmore is in town as part of the Chicago Humanities Festival. His lecture promises to be “an honest conversation about race and diversity”—not to be missed. NOV

Parent University November 3 | Glenbrook North High School, Northbrook | ncdaa.org

If you have kids at home, chances are you could stand some “how to” advice. With sessions on setting limits, the influence of

Pumpkin Launch November 3 | Vernon Hills vhparkdistrict.org

Science geeks, heed the call—here’s your chance to see how far a pumpkin can fly. Launch your jack ‘o lantern with a trebuchet at Century Park Sled Hill. Brit Beat November 10 | Metropolis Performing Arts Centre, Arlington Heights metropolisarts.com NOV

Feed your music monster a little Beatles— a great cover band makes for a great date night. NOV

Antique and Flea Market November 10 & 11 | Grayslake zurkopromotions.com

A re-gifter’s paradise! Cruise the aisles for the latest in vintage—the November market also includes an emphasis on holiday collectibles, so you just might find that Santa Jell-O mold you’ve been looking for.

PHOTOS COURTESY OF SOFA CHICAGO AND MUSEUM OF SCIENCE AND INDUSTRY

Charlie Brown and the Great Exhibit  Through February 18 | Museum of Science and Industry, Chicago | msichicago.org NOV

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Chicago Toy & Game Fair  November 17 & 18 | Navy Pier chitagfair.com

Kick off your holiday shopping with a trip to Navy Pier, where you’ll get your hands on the hottest toys and games before anyone else. And if you have a Star Wars fan in the family? You’ll want to grab tickets to the annual Star Wars breakfast—where Lord Vader will insist the kids eat before they play. nov

Co-Ed Prison Sluts November 17 | Wilmette Theatre wilmettetheatre.com

Annoyance Theatre returns to Wilmette this fall with one of its signature performances. Who to take? Probably not your grandmother—this is a show best suited for a daring date or Girls Night Out. nov

Winter Arts & Crafts EXPO 2012 Opens November 17 | Evanston Art Center | evanstonartcenter.org

It’s the EAC’s 10th annual show, featuring more than 100 artists with original works in a variety of media, including fiber, jewelry, glass, metal, photography, painting and more. Don’t miss this fantastic collection of talent so close to home. Chicago Trolley & Double Decker 23 Co. Holiday Lights Tour Starts November 23 | coachusa.com/ chicagotrolley Photos courtesy of chicago toy & game air and chicago botanic garden

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Why drive when you can ride? Take in Chicago’s holiday scene in all its glory, with

a two-hour tour of festival lights and sights, including Macy’s windows and Lincoln Park Zoo’s ZooLights Festival. Chicago Botanic Garden’s Wonderland Express  Opens November 23 | Chicago Botanic Garden | chicagobotanic.org nov

A North Shore rite of passage—no one should grow up without at least one trip to the Wonderland Express. The grounds will glow with 750,000 lights, and kids of all ages will ooh and ahh at the holiday trees and miniature train display inside the Regenstein Center. nov

Sex and the Suburbs Live! November 29 | Wilmette Theatre wilmettetheatre.com

Join Make It Better’s Marjie Killeen for the third installment in this popular live theater series. You never know what you may learn about your neighbor—or yourself!

Wonderland Express

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e v e n ts l ist i ng

holiday highlights B y K e l ly K o n r a d

parades, celebrations and tree lightings Evanston Holiday Open House and Tree Lighting November 16 | 4 p.m. Fountain square, evanston cityofevanston.org

Lincoln Park ZooLights Festival Opens November 23 lincoln park Zoo lpzoo.org

Glenview Holiday in the Park and Parade November 24 | 12 p.m. downtown glenview glenviewchamber.com

Highland Park November 17 | 4 p.m. downtown Highland park cityhpil.com

Lake Forest November 23 | 4:30 p.m. market square lflbchamber.com

Wilmette Holiday Parade November 17 | 10:30 a.m. downtown Wilmette wilmettechamber.org

Glencoe Light the Lights November 23 | 5 p.m. village Hall, glencoe goglencoe.com

Vernon Hills Holiday Tree & Menorah Lighting Ceremony November 24 | 4:30 p.m. vernon Hills golf Course, 291 evergreen drive, vernon Hills vernonhills.org

BMO Harris Bank Magnificent Mile Lights Festival November 17 michigan Avenue, Chicago themagnificentmile.com

Downtown Holiday Walk November 23 | 6:30 p.m. downtown libertyville mainstreetlibertyville.org

Winnetka November 30 | 6 p.m. metra park winnetkanorthfieldchamber.com Deerfield November 30 - December 1 downtown deerfield deerfield.il.us

museum exhibits Christmas Around the World and Holidays of Light Opens November 15 museum of science and industry, 57th st. and lake shore dr., Chicago msichicago.org Shedd Holiday Breakfast November 24 shedd Aquarium, 1200 s. lake shore dr., Chicago sheddaquarium.org Charles Dickens Ongoing lake County discovery museum, 27277 Forest preserve rd. Wauconda lakecountydiscoverymuseum.org

sponsored listings

The Julie W. Schaffner Endowment Wine Tasting Fundraiser Oct. 26, 2012, 6:30 p.m. – 9:00 p.m. Kenilworth Club, 410 Kenilworth Ave., Kenilworth, advocate.kintera.org/winetasting the mission of the Julie W. schaffner endowment is to increase public awareness of the symptoms and early detection of ovarian cancer, to support ovarian cancer research and to support programs that will develop the next generation of innovative leaders in the field of health care. 15% of all wine purchases will be donated to the Julie W. schaffner endowment.

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The Grove Arts & Craft Faire Nov 1 - 4 & Nov 8-11 10 a.m. to 8 p.m. Thursday & Friday 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. Saturday & Sunday 847-299-6096, groveartscraftfaire.com magnificent selection of American handmade gifts and home accessories, seasonal decor, jewelry, baked goods and gourmet items. Admission $5 for adults

WarnerNuzova November 17, 2012, 7:30 p.m. Music Institute of Chicago, Nichols Concert Hall, 1490 Chicago Ave., Evanston, 847-905-1500, musicinst.org World-renowned American cellist Wendy Warner and eminent russian pianist irina nuzova have earned critical acclaim for their energetic, insightful and riveting performances. their program includes works ˇ and prokofiev. by beethoven, Janácek

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holiday marketplaces Holiday Craft Faire at the Grove November 2 – 4, 8 – 11 1421 Milwaukee Ave., Glenview glenviewparks.org 11th Annual Showcase of Arts and Treasures November 3 & 4 barrington Fitness & recreation center, 235 Lions Dr., barrington barringtonparkdistrict.org 26th Annual Mistletoe Market Craft and Gift Show November 4 Immaculate conception Parish center, 770 W. Deerfield rd., Highland Park icparish.org/Mistletoe-Market.html Lake Forest Hospital Auxiliary Holiday Boutique November 14 – 17 Lake Forest recreation center, 400 Hastings rd., Lake Forest lfh.org Cornucopia Gift Fair November 16 – 18 Woman’s club of evanston, 1702 chicago Ave., evanston wcofe.org Randolph Street Holiday Market November 17 & 18 Plumbers Hall, 1340 W. Washington St.., chicago randolphstreetmarket.com Christkindlmarket Chicago November 21 - December 24 Daley Plaza, 50 W. Washington St., chicago christkindlmarket.com Lambs Farm Holiday Lights Gift and Craft Fair November 30 – December 2 Arlington Park, 2200 euclid Ave., Arlington Heights holidaylightslambsfarm.com Winter Wonderland Holiday Light Show November 23 – December 31 cuneo Mansion, 1350 N. Milwaukee Ave., Vernon Hills vernonhills.org

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spiritual journeys By Julie Chernoff, Laura Hine, Kelly Konrad and Susan B. Noyes

religion or no religion at all. And most Americans are tolerant or open to other religious ideas and beliefs. Seventy percent of us believe that many religions can lead to eternal life, and nearly 70% believe that the teachings of their religion are open to interpretation. Compared to many parts of the world, where religious conflict can be violent and even deadly, America’s spiritual interest combined with tolerance is a model of acceptance. Faith in action gives our communities institutions committed to mission and service. Families have a place to find support and moral guidance, and in many communities— as you will see in the following pages— religious leaders do more than just teach. They cross denominations and religions to bring people together for the greater good of all.

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ow is your spirituality? Do you consider yourself one of the more than 50 percent of Americans that say religion is important in their lives, or are you still seeking? In Chicago and its surrounding suburbs, you can find pretty much any kind of religious institution—from Bahá’í to Scientologist to Buddhist to Muslim. Indeed, Pamay Bassey, who is featured in the following pages, visited 52 different congregations in a year, and wrote about her experience in a moving book about the journey. Many people grow into their religion as a part of their upbringing, but if you find yourself seeking answers elsewhere, you are not alone. According to The Pew Forum on Religion & Public Life, almost 30% of adults have left the faith they were raised in to practice another

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Pamay Bassey

Author, “My 52 Weeks of Worship: Lessons from a Global, Spiritual, Interfaith Journey” ChiCago

Photo by nathaniel Perry

kpedeme “Pamay” Bassey didn’t set out to become the foremost authority on religion. And she isn’t. But this Northwestern University graduate and Chicago resident does have a story to tell. Her spiritual journey, told in “My 52 Weeks of Worship: Lessons from a Global, Spiritual, Interfaith Journey,” is gripping. “I think a lot of people assume the book is an exploration of the differences in religion,” she says. “That was not what I set out to do. I was just trying to get out of bed in the morning.” About three years ago, Bassey experienced what many would describe as a crisis in faith. Having lost her father to a long illness, alongside the death of a long-term relationship, she was awash in grief. And even though her friends were there for her, she didn’t want to impose on their lives. Feeling the need to reconnect spiritually, her “52 Weeks” project was born—Bassey decided to visit a different church, every week, for an entire year. Beginning at Trinity United Church of Christ in Chicago and ending at the Liberal Minds Unitarian Universalist Church of Studio City in California, Pamay criss-crossed the country and traveled abroad during her search for spirituality. Pamay’s quest took her across the United States and all over the world. The religions crossed the spectrum—from mainstream versions of Catholicism, Judaism, Protestantism, Islam and Buddhism to less traditional offerings, such as Jehovah’s Witnesses, Hare Krishna, Scientology, Quaker and Wiccan ceremonies. Some, if not most, experiences were com-

fortable. A few were challenging. In the end, all were eye-opening, but what they had in common, says Bassey, “was that everywhere I went, I felt God.” The takeaway? There’s something to appreciate in just about every form of worship. “Just because you choose a specific religion doesn’t mean you can’t learn from someone else in another,” she says. Bassey also rediscovered the power of human connection. You can take a scholarly approach to spirituality, but it’s the face time where you actually feel it. “More authentic growth happens face to face,” she says. “Having that conversation might be awkward or unwieldy, but in my case, I was dealing with real people and not the talking heads. And all they were doing was gathering to worship.” For example, in stepping out of her comfort zone to look at different styles of worship, she admitted to being nervous about her visit with a group of Wiccans. “(My friend and I) worked really hard NOT to get there,” she says. But in the end, “It was just people gathering to figure out how to honor the divine.” If you read “52 Weeks,” you’ll want to know—is Bassey okay? Did she find the peace she was looking for? “I ask myself that question a lot,” she says. "It ebbs and flows.” Bassey now attends three churches on a regular basis, and is more committed to the practice of her faith, starting every day with devotions. “I’m not perfect,” she says. “It’s lifelong work and I’m learning every day what that really means.” —By Kelly Konrad

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Founder & Senior Pastor, Willow Creek Community Church South Barrington

hen people hear that Willow Creek has over 24,000 worshippers on an average weekend, they’re impressed at the number. What founder and Senior Pastor Bill Hybels would like you to know is that they are way more excited about their ministries than their size. “Don’t come here to warm a bench,” says Hybels. Instead he wants to challenge you and equip you to be the hands and feet of Christ in the community. “Do you love the poor? Are you faithful to your spouse? Are you raising your kids in a way that you’ll be proud of when they’re older?” Not the normal questions you expect from a pastor. But Willow Creek is an unusual Evangelical Christian church. No pews, no crosses, no robed choirs. According to Hybels, when they started in the ‘70s the small group asked themselves: “What would it be like if a church service were creative rather than boring? What if it was practical rather than esoteric, and you could put the content to work on Monday morning? What if there were more forms of art than just a robed choir. What if the learning process at a

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Bill HyBels

weekend service could be intellectually stimulating, creative, practical, inspiring, challenging? Would that help people grow spiritually?” The answer to those questions was obviously “yes.” On the North Shore, the congregation that meets in Northfield has grown to 2,000 since its founding in 2002. Led by Campus Pastor Steve Gillen, it’s not a posh or beautiful physical space, just a rented school auditorium, but like every Willow Creek congregation, it fills a spiritual need while serving the surrounding community. Willow Creek is known worldwide because of the vision Hybels had to empower Christian leaders at other congregations and denominations. The Leadership Summit, which began in 1992, had over 160,000 people participate this year in the live two-day conference via video feed. It featured speakers including Condoleezza Rice, Marc Kielburger and Harvard’s William Ury. When they started the Summit, Hybels began with this premise: We’re going to find some of the best leaders in the world, not just church leaders. His reasoning? Leaders are incurable learners, who want to hear from people who have built something, overcome some obstacles, and who have proven the practices of leadership. Hybels was inspired to start the Summit when he traveled around the world, and puzzled over why some churches were prevailing and moving strongly ahead while others floundered and declined. There was no demographic or denominational reason; the difference was leadership. “It wasn’t enough to have great teaching. Someone had to mobilize the congregation to help solve the church’s problems, someone had to raise up young leaders, someone had to keep the path ahead clear with vision,” says Hybels. Willow Creek stepped into the void of leadership education and, from the beginning, has fully embraced the potential of women as leaders. “We want women staff members, board members, elders, pastors and we never apologized, we never tried to be politically correct, we simply believe the Bible teaches that women should live out their full potential as Christ followers,” says Hybels. His goal is to see congregations around the world where the worshippers are “well led and well fed.” At the end of our interview in his office, which overlooks a fountain and pond that are part of the sprawling Barrington campus, we talked about the future of Christianity in this country and in the world. Hybels is optimistic that the church is growing and will continue to grow. “I want to inspire church leaders to lead well, to teach well, to serve people well so the church can reach its full redemptive potential in the world.” —By Laura Hine

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Valerie Dana & ellen Price Bahá’í House of Worship Wilmette

Photo by nathaniel Perry

he landscape of Wilmette is dominated by the Bahá’í Temple on Sheridan Road. The sparkling white temple framed against a blue sky is a powerful symbol of the faith of believers adopting a new religion, and working to ensure the faith’s growth and survival. Two Wilmette women who found the Bahá’í faith as young adults are Valerie Dana, who is a member of the National Spirituality Assembly, and Ellen Price, who is chairman of the Wilmette Spiritual Assembly. “The concept that we all come from the same God made a lot of sense,” says Dana, describing the feeling she had when she first learned about the Bahá’í faith as a college student. “The idea of unity in religion instead of conflict touched my heart.” Coming from an Episcopal background, Price says she didn’t know there was a religion that taught what she knew in her heart was true. But when introduced to Bahá’í, she embraced the idea of progressive revelation. The Bahá’í faith teaches that God has revealed himself to humanity through Divine Messengers: Abraham, Moses, Buddha, Zoroaster, Jesus, Muhammad, and the founder of the Bahá’í faith, Bahá’u’lláh. While the modern-day result of differing messengers has been division and competing religions, the Bahá’í believe their mission is to unite humanity. Dana explains that on a practical level this means putting away petty differences, serving one God and seeing no one as a stranger.

Although the religion developed in Persia (modern day Iran), an area of the world not known for democracy, the religion is run by democratically elected councils at the local, national and international levels. There are no clergy; instead, believers gather in study circles that are geographically based. And as Price and Dana explain, the faith’s mission and structure carry through to individual believers and the way they live their lives. “One of the laws of our faith is ‘no back biting,’” says Price. So instead of petty gossip and complaint, they solve problems in the family and faith using a process they call “consultation.” You put forward an idea, and then you detach from it. Other people put in their ideas, but no one defends or pushes, instead it’s a collaborative process. As an attorney, Dana explains that her faith changed the way she practiced corporate law. “I represented my clients but with dignity and respect for the other side,” she says. And notes that being a Bahá’í isn’t simply something one does, it’s really one’s identity. “The real spiritual transformation occurs within you and changes how you interact with others,” says Dana. “That can only occur through the love of God.” The Bahá’í Temple in Wilmette is open to the community as a place of prayer and worship. To learn more about the faith, consult their website, bahai.us. —By Laura Hine

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hat Father Jack Wall is mission driven—to lift up as many lives as possible through his faith— helped him develop an influential following in Chicago and across the country. He expresses that mission through his work at Old Saint Patrick’s church, the Catholic Extension and elsewhere. That Wall is charismatic, smart, strategic, kind to every person he encounters and a gifted orator contributes to his success too. “We are mission driven, not member-centric, like a club,” Wall declares repeatedly while discussing his many roles. Wall’s focus on mission helped grow Old Saint Pat’s from a skid row parish with only four members to a thriving church community of over 4,000 families that offers a plethora of outreach programs. He asked for the assignment in 1983. “I saw the oldest building in Chicago sitting empty, in the shadows of the Loop and at the crossroads of our highways, making it an easy commute from anywhere,” he says. Wall’s mission then included building a congregation that would serve young, unmarried professionals and facilitate dialogue about work and faith. “I didn’t anticipate that the empty nester parents of that group would start coming from the suburbs too. But they did!” His congregation grew to include many of Chicago’s most influential citizens, like the Daley family. Five years ago, Wall stepped down from St. Pat’s head pastor position in order to accept a Papal Appointment as President of our country’s Catholic Extension, which is headquartered in Chicago. The Extension was founded in 1905 by a priest who also became the pastor of Wilmette’s Saint Francis Church. Its mission is to strategically invest in poor dioceses across the country to “unleash the power of faith that transforms hearts, lives and society.” Despite the economic downturn, under Wall’s leadership, donations to the Extension have grown from $13 million to over $22 million. Wall’s passion for the Extension’s work is palpable. “You cannot go to the poorest communities of the United States and not find a Catholic Church. This is not charity. We invest strategically.” He continues, “We build up communities that care.” On November 2nd, Loyola Academy honors Wall at its prestigious President’s Dinner as “A True Man For Others,” because his work has impacted and inspired youth in our community, too. Wall’s mission-driven life is an inspiration for all. —By Susan B. Noyes

father jack wall

Pastor, Old Saint Patrick's Church chicago

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hen she was growing up in suburban Detroit, it never occurred to Debra Newman Kamin that she would one day become a Rabbi. That was largely because at that time, the job of conservative rabbi was exclusively a male role. But in 1985, after she had graduated from the University of Michigan with a degree in Judaic Studies and spent three years studying in Israel, the Jewish Theological Seminary— the rabbinical school of Conservative Judaism—started to accept women. Newman Kamin returned to the States to begin her rabbinic studies. It wasn’t so much a calling as synchronicity, she recalls. “It was a question of remarkably being in the right place at the exact right time. I truly had the sense of a path unfolding before me.” Newman Kamin graduated from JTS in 1990 and took the position of Assistant Rabbi at Congregation Am Yisrael in Northfield. In 1994, she became their sole rabbi, and the first woman to lead a Conservative temple in the Chicagoland area. After 18 years in that role, she is one of the longstanding female pulpit rabbis in the Conservative movement. “My faith is in the cosmic nature of the Jewish people,” she shares. “I believe in the spirituality of imperfection. The Torah reminds us that our ancestors were flawed people, sometimes deeply so.” But Newman Kamin finds something liberating in that idea. “I know it’s clichéd, but we learn from our mistakes. Perfection is not the answer; it’s the journey that we take as we learn about our history, and ourselves,” she suggests. One of the Rabbi’s favorite quotes comes from French philosopher—and Jesuit priest—Pierre Teilhard de Chardin: “We are not human beings on a spiritual journey. We are spiritual beings on a human journey.” She explains, “In some other traditions, in a spiritual community, one may be separated from daily life. But Judaism insists that you have to be on the spiritual path in the midst of your life, your family, your work—it’s messy. But that is the true life we live, as children, parents, spouses, co-workers; it’s hard to do, but we as Jews believe we can’t conceive of spiritual life without real-life intrusions. The message is not to separate yourself from the community; we’re all on the journey together.” Rabbi Newman Kamin shares her journey with husband Daniel Kamin, an adjunct professor at DePaul University, and children Shai, Zachary and Charlotte. — By Julie Chernoff

Rabbi DebRa NewmaN KamiN Congregation Am Yisrael Northfield

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boo Patel, founder of the Interfaith Youth Core (IFYC), believes that the best path to a better world is through education about religious differences and fostering interfaith cooperation through service. That’s why this author, who was born in Glen Ellyn and is a practicing Muslim and a Rhodes Scholar, founded IFYC ten years ago. “The Core’s mission is to train college students to be interfaith leaders so that they can bring their fellow students of diverse faiths together to do good in cooperation with each other,” Patel explains while seated in his loft-like office in the West Loop. “People’s spiritual and religious identities are core to who they are. This can motivate people to do an awful lot of service and good in the world,” he says. “Hopefully, 30 years from now, interfaith cooperation will be the social norm, just like environmentalism and doing Teach For America have become social norms.” Patel’s vision is a substantial improvement over the current reality. “Unfortunately, too many now see faith as bombs on the evening news,” he declares. This decade-old movement already has grown to over 350 colleges, and has been embraced by world leaders like President Barack Obama, former British Prime Minister Tony Blair and Jordan’s Queen Rania. But more imporantly, Patel’s IFYC has developed a new young generation of Christian, Jewish, Muslim and other religious leaders, and completed thousands of service projects. IFYC recruits college students of all faiths to attend one of four summits it holds each year. Participants then spend 2025 hours per week during the following school year to lead a “Better Together” program for students of all faiths on their campus. This includes doing a major service project—like building a home or providing large-scale relief for an international disaster area. Patel has written two books: “Acts of Faith,” and “Sacred Ground.” He blogs for media outlets including the Washington Post, Huffington Post and USAToday, and has spoken at a TED conference, the Clinton Global Initiative, the Nobel Peace Prize Forum, and on college campuses across the country. Still, he prioritizes time for his wife and two young children. Patel grins, “My family is a huge focus of not just my love, but also of my time and energy. I’m on the 5:21 train home every day that I’m not traveling.” If Patel can bring his vision to life, his children will inherit a better, more tolerant world. This should indeed be worth all the effort. —By Susan B. Noyes

EBOO PATEL Founder and President, Interfaith Youth Core ChiCago

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Photo by Chris PoPio

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fa m i ly

finding joy amidst the anguish By Kristina toBer

Holiday joy is particularly bittersweet and even painful to anyone who has lost a loved one. Respecting this loss and accepting the presence of grief as an undeniable part of the season is perhaps the best way to make it through the holidays.

why all these emotions now? Bereavement experts define them as the stages of grief. Maria Malin, a Lake Forest mom and certified grief recovery specialist, gives us a more vivid image: the pendulum. It’s an analogy that has played out all too familiarly with her after their 11-year-old son Steven, Jr., was killed in 2003 by a train. “In the early debilitating stages after you lose a loved one, your entire existence is riding this pendulum, with extreme swings from disbelief to denial, guilt, shock and anger,” she describes. “You have to go with the swings, feel the intense feelings and most importantly, find a way to work through and not bury your feelings.” Over time, these symptoms will bemaria and Steven malin

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come less extreme and flare up with less frequency. But recognize that during highly emotional times like the holidays, your pendulum will swing with more intensity. “When you have lost someone special, your world loses its celebratory qualities,” explains David Kessler, renowned grief expert and co-author of “On Grief and Grieving,” (Scribner, 2005). “Holidays only magnify the loss. The sadness feels sadder and the loneliness goes deeper.”

moving forward but hanging on Unlike the earliest stages of grief, Malin stresses the importance of not staying hidden “under the covers,” especially if you have other children. It’s important to get out of the house, push yourself through the toughest times of the year, and ultimately find a unique path to healing. Kessler reminds us that the holidays are “part of the journey to be felt fully.” He recommends finding a way to acknowledge your loss during the holidays, whether it’s a special prayer or taking time to share a funny story about your loved one. For Malin, the goal has been to return to “living life” after “living death.” As a family, they cannot deny Steven’s physical absence, but they have made a conscious commitment to preserving his place with them and finding ways to honor him, especially at the holidays. Malin offers suggestions in her book, “When You Just Can’t Say Good-bye, Don’t—A Mother’s Personal Journey After Losing a Child.” (BookSurge, 2009)

Death is always devastating, but no more so than when it challenges basic assumptions we have about life. “It’s so natural to feel cheated or robbed, to put blame and guilt on yourself or others, even question your faith,” explains Malin. Allow yourself to work through all those difficult questions, but recognize that you probably will never get the answers you crave. It is the exercise of asking those questions that is cathartic.

recognize that we all grieve in our own unique ways Grief is a completely individual response, and you can’t predict how you or your spouse or child will react to a traumatic loss. Malin explains, “With the tragic loss of a child, you have to remember that the father has a very different relationship dynamic to his child than the mother, and they each have to recognize that they will process grief in a very different way.”

accept that you don’t “get over” grief “There is no finite end to grief,” stresses Malin. “But it’s the choices you make after it happens that determine what the remainder of your life will be like, and take you on a path to rediscover hope and healing. We choose to find healthy, well-adjusted ways to keep Steven close to us in heart and deed. ‘Going on’ without him felt cold and unimaginable. Moving forward with him still spiritually part of us was our only option.”

For more information on grief, see Kessler’s website, grief.com and malin’s website, movingforwardhangingon.com.

Photo courtesy the malin family

grief and the holidays

come to terms with life’s randomness

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FA M I LY

ALL in the FAMILY Digging up your family’s roots on vacation BY ANDREA GUTHMANN

Austin-Lehman Adventures tour along Germany’s Mosel River

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Award-winning tour operator Austin-Lehman Adventures has seen an increase in multi-generational families traveling together, wanting to trace their roots while having a great vacation. “European trips are clearly on the rise. We had several groups this year of twenty or so—Mom, Dad, Grandpa, Grandma and a host of grandchildren. Often they just want to visit the country and learn as much as possible in a week about the history and ways of the locals,” says Dan Austin, director of Austin-Lehman Adventures.

Mazel Tov! Highland Park resident Barbara Field first traveled to Israel in 1972 and has visited several times since, with her three daughters as teenagers and now with her grandchildren. Although she has no ancestors from Israel, the trips have strengthened the bond to her Jewish faith and have given her a deeper understanding of her heritage. Field’s most recent visit was a multi-generational family trip, celebrating her granddaughter’s Bat Mitzvah. Field says celebrating amidst the sacred sites of Israel left the entire family with treasured memories. The Field family is not alone. The Israeli Ministry of Tourism receives so many requests about celebrating a Bar or Bat Mitzvah in Israel, it has a special planning page on its website, goisrael.com. I’m just as eager to introduce my children to the land my parents left behind— Germany, the country more Americans claim ancestry from than any other. I still have relatives there who can help us climb our CONTINUED ON PAGE 44

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PHOTO ON OPPOSITE PAGE COURTESY OF AUSTIN-LEHMAN ADVENTURES

Just who do you think you are? That’s a question lots of people are asking— about themselves. A genealogy craze has led to the popularity of Internet sites like ancestry. com, which now has more than 2 million registered users. Travel is another great way to feed this fascination with family, and to explore your heritage.

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The Lodge at Doonbeg

Your Roots Are Showing Ireland’s Tourism Office has a special page on its website dedicated to finding your ancestors, discoverireland.com. Not surprising, given that 70 million Irish are scattered across the globe. Here in the U.S., 12% of the population claims Irish ancestry. Germany’s travel website also has a dedicated page for heritage travel, germanoriginality.com. Many countries also have museums dedicated to genealogy research. The Jewish Diaspora Museum at Tel Aviv University has a detailed database as does the German Emigration Center in Bremerhaven, Europe’s largest museum about emigration. Irish Eyes Are Smiling Hotels are accommodating heritage-hungry guests with in-house genealogy experts. The Lodge at Doonbeg, a luxury seaside resort in County Clare, Ireland, has long been popular with golfers. Now guests can step off the greens and explore their “green” heritage. Book the Journey to Your Roots package, and two on-site genealogy experts will help you learn more about your Irish ancestors.

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If you want to trace your Irish roots, next year might be the year to do it. The Gathering 2013 is a massive tourism initiative encouraging anyone with a connection to Ireland to visit. If you have at least one Irish ancestor, the Irish government will give you an official Certificate of Irish Heritage. Check out thegatheringireland.com. Do Your Research Doing research before your trip will make your journey more meaningful. Websites like ancestry.com are a great place to start. National and regional tourism offices can also point you in the right direction. There are also plenty of genealogy centers in our own backyard. The Norwegian-American Genealogical Center is located in Madison, Wisc. Even closer to home, Chicago’s Newberry Library has an extensive genealogy collection. The Swedish American Museum in Andersonville has a Nordic Family Genealogy Center. If a trip to the land of your spiritual or ancestral home is on your bucket list, there’s never been a better time to embark on this journey of self-discovery. It’s a chance to walk in the footsteps of your forefathers and see for yourself what they left behind.

PHOTO COURTESY OF THE LODGE AT DOONBEG

family tree. But what if you don’t? There are plenty of ways to dig deeper into your family’s roots.

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FA M I LY

having “the talk” about religion BY JODY B U CK

THERE ARE MANY CHALLENGING talks to be had with your children, but perhaps one of the least talked about is the one you’ll have about religion. This is new territory for today’s parents of younger children, and something previous generations didn’t necessarily face. According to the U.S. Religious Landscape Survey in 2010, 16 percent of Americans are unaffiliated with a religion, 71 percent of whom are under the age of fifty. Yet, despite not associating with a particular religion, 41 percent of these adults say religion is important in their lives and about a quarter attend religious services at least a couple times per year.

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Even those who are religiously affiliated are not necessarily married to someone of their same faith—it’s estimated that about 37 percent of couples subscribe to different religions. So, when children start asking questions about why they celebrate certain holidays or why they don’t go to church on Sunday morning like some of their friends, it can be difficult to know where to begin and what to say. We asked local religious leaders, including Alissa Zuchman, director of family education at Sukkat Shalom in Wilmette, Father Mike McGovern from The Church of St. Mary in Lake Forest and Frank Yamada, president

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of McCormick Theological Seminary in Chicago, for advice about talking to your children about faith with respect and thoughtfulness.

consider your religious values It can be difficult as a parent to fit in conversations about moral and ethical values, and even then, how do you begin? Zuchman offers that, “religion most often gives parents a moral and ethical base to begin with. Every faith has a version of the golden rule and religions talk about how we should treat each other and be moral people.”

one family, two religions Interfaith is a part of the world we live in and it’s important to be open with your children. “So often in faith communities you have to choose for your child to be one religion or the other, but it’s not good to make children choose. Eventually they will decide—as we all do— what they want to believe, so being more open about your interfaith family begins the process much earlier,” says Zuchman. Ultimately, McGovern advises, “It is important for children to see that both mom and dad have a life that is centered on God even if they subscribe to different faiths.”

religious education For parents who are looking for extra support with explaining their faith or teaching religious values, religious education, like youth groups, can be a helpful tool. “Young people need a peer group that supports their religious beliefs, and it takes a certain critical mass of people to develop a culture where children feel supported in practicing their faith,” offers McGovern. Youth ministry programs can be a very positive experience for children and parents. Zuchman advises that programs should be fun and joyful, rather than feeling like school, to be most beneficial to kids.

hesitant about faith? Parents not looking to raise their children with a faith background may find questions about God and religion especially difficult to answer. Yamada explains, “Similar to most parenting situations, parents must balance their own honesty and integrity with the needs of their children.” When children ask questions about God, often they are looking for reassurance about troubling issues such as the loss of a loved one. “A tactic that I have found helpful with my own children is to ask more questions, and to reassure children that they are not alone in their thinking and questions,” offers Yamada.

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the r o f g n i t a r deco

holidays Tips from the Woodlands Academy Winter Wonderwalk the

or f g n i S T o r Y + P H ooTroaSt b Y T A T e G u n n e r S o n dec

Need inspiration for holiday dĂŠcor? Then save the date for the Woodlands Academy of the Sacred Heart Winter Wonderwalk, which will be held on Wednesday, December 5th. The homes featured on last yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s walk gave the Make It Better editorial staff more than a few ideas for adding holiday cheer.

for ating decor

the

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Thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s nothing like the sight of stockings lined up on the fireplace mantel. For a new tradition, try adding stockings with the names of friends, neighbors and even worthwhile causes to which your visitors may contribute.

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Whimsy does it. There’s no time like the holidays to incorporate pieces like this happy table (or the infamous leg lamp from the classic 80s film “A Christmas Story.”)

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Consider white poinsettias for a more subdued holiday look. They look equally at home flanking the fireplace or in a formal sunroom.

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(1) Get in touch with your inner child. What child wouldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t love stuffed animals on the banister and attached to the dining chairs? (2) Looking for a kid-friendly project? Have the kids pick out and decorate their own mini holiday trees. Disperse throughout the house for instant holiday cheer. (3) Adding a red tablecloth to this green and yellow sunroom transforms it into an ideal place for a holiday brunch.

The 2012 Winter Wonderwalk is on December 5. General admission is $60 and includes access to home tours, idea house, holiday boutique and party admission. RSVP by November 20 to receive the early bird price of $50. Go to woodlandsacademy.org for tickets and more information.

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Room design by Stephanie Wohlner

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tR icks of the tR a de:

creating

a Polish ed Room by Kristina tober

is a gift. Most of us must turn to a professional to achieve just the right mix of furniture, textiles, color and accessories to beautifully furnish a space. But wouldn’t it be great to know how to do it yourself? We asked three interior designers for their secrets to pulling together a room. What you’ll find is regardless of your style, many of the same rules apply.

No questioN, haviNg “aN eye”

Photo by tony soluri; Photo on oPPosite Page by eric hausman

timeless aNd traditioNal, without the stuffiNess

Shelley Johnstone, who works out of Lake Forest, keeps a few rules in mind when creating a traditional space with just the perfect punch of modern sophistication: • Skip the furniture “set.” Her goal is to find balance, not match all the finishes. • Mixing clean-lined modern pieces of furniture and art with more formal antiques is an easy way to keep a room interesting and timeless. For example, Johnstone will pair a simple sofa with an Asian-inspired coffee table, French bérgère chairs and a few English Regency pieces to keep the feeling elegant but interesting. • Pair traditional furniture with Lucite, lacquered or painted pieces, brightly glazed garden stools and colored lamps to keep the space fresh. Magic lies in the details.

• Balance a bold, beautiful pattern with solid textured fabrics in the same tone, like linens and velvets that add timeless depth and texture. • Pattern is best used on chairs, throw pillows or window treatments. A busy patterned sofa or similar large furnishing can quickly become visually tiresome. • However, a bold pattern can be classic when used all over the room, but always ground it with a sisal or similar casual texture. • Try to avoid “companion fabrics” (trios of fabric that often include a solid, stripe and pattern) that look predictable and dated. Just because

the design house markets them together, doesn’t mean you should furnish your room with them. layered aNd eclectic, without the clutter

Chris Garrett, lead designer for Garrett Paschen in Evanston, looks to her client’s passions to add soul and depth to her sophisticated aesthetic, and has this advice to offer when pulling it all together: • Your décor should be authentic. Even if you haven’t “been there,” find elements that you connect to— whether it’s the subject matter itself or just the coloring.

room design by Stephanie Wohlner

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Photo courtesy garrett Paschen

Room design by Chris Garrett

• Also an advocate of mixing styles and periods, Garrett stresses the importance of a few simple guidelines, the most important of which is balance. Consider the scale of your pieces, the coloring and detail, making sure each piece flatters the next. And always be certain your furnishings and patterns are equally lit and displayed so that one area of the room is not busier than another. • Look at your room as a painting. If you have a lot going on with accessories and art, give your room a smooth, consistent backdrop with more textural, less patterned upholstery, drapery and rugs. • Introducing “global” elements like a suzani throw or kantha quilt can add depth and visual appeal. Only

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choose pieces if you think they look interesting and make sense in terms of their coloring and personal meaning. Reference the color or pattern somewhere else in the room. • Maintain the same color intensity throughout the space. Add clear colors to clear colors, murky to murky, and so on. • Always vary the scale of fabrics in a room, and if you’re mixing patterns, find a consistent hue grounding them all. A NeutrAl PAlette

Highland Park designer Stephanie Wohlner has more than a few secrets to creating calm and sophisticated interiors that are infinitely inviting: • Any single room should visually flow from those around it. Consis-

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tency in theme and style is essential when it comes to creating calming, beautiful interiors. • A neutral décor needs a visual “pop” or two—and the talent lies in knowing when you’ve added enough. It can be a red lamp, leopard ottoman or patterned rug. • Wohlner often starts with a client’s “inspirational piece” —a favorite plate, painting or family rug as the element to add visual tension and excitement to a soothing neutral backdrop. • Beige doesn’t have to be boring. Textiles that range from beige to tan to soft gray and brown still lay a neutral palette but excite the eye. • Neutral doesn’t preclude the use of pattern, just keep its presence purposeful.

• Introduce texture with interesting wood grains, books and natural elements like bamboo shades behind a linen drape. Remember, a room is so much more than just the fabrics within. • Too many accessories can complicate a space, unless there is some sense to the clutter, i.e., a treasured collection displayed together. the FiNAl Word: edit

All three of our experts emphasize the importance of editing. “We all let it get away from us,” says Garrett. “The goal shouldn’t be to cover every surface or wall, rather take what you love and find the perfect spot for it.” Adds Johnstone, if nothing else, go into your room and clear off the coffee table, bookcases and walls, and be truly selective about what you put back.

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AT HOM E

6 ways you can be happier at home BY LAUR A TIEBERT

Happy has a surprisingly bad reputation. “There’s an assumption that people find happy people offputtingly chirpy,” says Gretchen Rubin, author of the New York Times #1 bestseller “The Happiness Project” and now, “Happier at Home,” which hit the bestseller list at #2 on Sept. 12. “But studies show that people are drawn to happy people. Happy people make better leaders and teammates.” Is it selfish to want to be happy? No way, says Rubin. Happy people not only spread good vibes, but do good deeds. And since home is where we base our lives, why not start there?

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According to Rubin, it doesn’t take a mansion to make you happy. “I don’t think becoming fabulously wealthy will take you to a ten and being poor won’t take you to a one. People adapt to negative or positive. I’m not sure that external conditions are that tied to happiness,” Rubin says. So if money and mansions won’t make you happy, what will? Here are six things Rubin advises you can do right now to get a happiness boost for you and your family.

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1. Sing in the morning. Wake your kids up singing “Good Morning, Sunshine” or a ditty you create. Who cares if you’re off key? Your happy tune sets the tone for the day. 2. Give warm welcomes and farewells.

Rubin noticed that when family came and went, it was noted only by a grunt from someone who refused to look up from an iPad. Instead, stand up and kiss your spouse hello. Perk up and act happy to see your kids. Remember another of Rubin’s adages: Act the way you want to feel. And pretty soon, you’ll feel it for real. 3. Embrace good smells. Smell the coffee, smell the roses—no cost, no calories, just pleasure. 4. Get enough sleep. You might think you are functioning on four or five hours of sleep a night. News flash: You’re not, and you’re probably cranky. Step away from the Internet and get at least seven hours of sleep tonight. 5. Put something purple in every room. “That is me being whimsical,” Rubin laughs. “Other friends said it should have been orange or red.” No matter the shade—put something unexpected in each room of your house, to make it personal. 6. Keep stuff, selectively. Rubin is

not about simplifying for the sake of simplifying. Instead, she says, “for most people, possessions have a role to play in a happy life.” Rubin advises spotlighting mementos that are full of memories. But if, like her, you’re hanging on to a half-used tube of Orajel as a baby memory? Keep something else that represents that era, like a sippy cup—and dump the Orajel.

Brehm

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BET T E R YOU

long grove DAYTRIPPER

B Y TA L I A B E E C H I C K

Take a step back in time— visit the historic village of Long Grove, full of boutiques, galleries and confectionaries (yum!). Get lost in the 1800s as you discover the village’s charms.

4 AMERS GALLERY All the latest Paris imports—from oil paintings to home furnishings. And make sure you look up at the exquisite ceiling fixture. 432 Robert Parker Coffin Rd., 847-955-1967, amersgallery.com

1 BEANS AND LEAVES This quaint coffee shop offers a variety of hot and iced coffees, teas, pastries and cookies. They also sell antiques, so you can start your shopping early. 320 Old McHenry Rd., 847-821-0011, beansandleaveslonggrove.com

2 CLEO  The destination for all things sparkly. With wall-to-wall jewelry cases, beautiful scarves and other great gifts, it’s where to go for dazzle. 426 Robert Parker Coffin Rd., 847-478-9046

5 SWEET WHIMSY This French-inspired pastry shop offers croissants, scones, cookies, bars, cupcakes, breads and custom-order cakes. 251 Robert Parker Coffin Rd., 847-821-2021, facebook.com/swpastry

6 LONG GROVE CAFÉ Highly recommended for both the view of a scenic pond just outside the wall-to-wall windows, and their crisp salads, homemade soups and delicious wraps. 235 Robert Parker Coffin Rd., 847-955-9600, longgrovecafe.com

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3 TRILLIUM Featuring home decorative gifts, jewelry and pieces of fine art, Trillium is a beautiful place to pick up a little something for you. 233 Robert Parker Coffin Rd., 847-883-8867, trilliumlonggrove.com

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8 trio  Stop here for fashion-forward apparel that is both stylish and comfy. Trio also carries bags and jewelry—you won’t leave frumpy. 217 Robert Parker Coffin Rd., 847-821-8862 9 olivia’s Past offering eclectic clothes, jewelry, purses and shoes, this quirky yet beautiful shop is a must-visit. brands include Free People and Charlotte Tarantola. 144 Old McHenry Rd., 847-913-1988

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7 Mangels gifts  With everything from home decor to purses to outdoor accessories to holiday decorations, mangels has gifts for all the hard-to-buy-fors on your list. 421 Robert Parker Coffin Rd., 847-634-3731, mangelsoflonggrove.com

long grove ConfeCtionery Walk into this sanctuary of sugar and you won’t leave empty handed! With cases of homemade chocolates, candies and chocolate-covered strawberries, this shop is for lovers of sweets. 220 Robert Parker Coffin Rd., 847-634-0080, longgrove.com

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hair by

makeup by

DONNA FOR TEDDIE KOSSOF S A L O N S PA

CAROL-MARIE FOR TEDDIE KOSSOF S A L O N S PA

model

SHAR A FOR FAC T O R WOMEN

fête frocks Holiday parties have begun to fill our calendar. Whether you’re more attracted to bold jewel tones or the simple sophistication of black, Make It Better has assembled six looks for the upcoming season of soirees.

E VA N G E L I N E P O L I T I S

photos by

TAO Z H A NG PHOTO <CREDIT>

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Jacquard dress, $298, Sara Campbell; Jimmy Choo peep toes, $550, Shirise; 14k yellow gold earrings with cognac and round diamonds, $12,030, Fuenfer Jewelers; 18k rose gold ring with white and cognac diamonds, $10,920, Fuenfer Jewelers; 14k yellow gold bracelet with white, black and cognac diamonds, $2,095, Fuenfer Jewelers; 14k rose gold bracelet with white, black and cognac diamonds, $2,095, Fuenfer Jewelers

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Photo <credit>

Wayne Clark dress, $1,390, Avenue Fashions; Pouch, $145, Sara Campbell; Pearl earrings, Price upon request, Tiffanyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s & Co.; Pearl necklace, Price upon request, Joerge Jensen

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Gucci side-tie top, $795, neapolitan; Sequined skirt, stylistâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s own; 14k yellow gold and diamond bracelet, $8,120, Fuenfer Jewelers; 18k yellow gold and diamond hoops, $12,400, Fuenfer Jewelers; 18k white gold ring with white and yellow diamonds, $8,820, Fuenfer Jewelers makeitbetter.net

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Amanda Wakeley dress, $1,455, Lake Forest Shop; necklace, $98, Sara Campbell; valentino pumps, $645, Shirise; Kotur black and gold clutch, $650, Shirise; 14k white gold and black diamond earrings, $1,500, Fuenfer Jewelers

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badgley mischka beaded collar dress, $760, Avenue Fashons; Alexander mcQueen clutch, $1,590, Shirise; Jimmy Choo sandals, $695, Shirise; 14k yellow gold bracelets with white, black and cognac diamonds, $2,095, Fuenfer Jewelers; 14k white gold bracelet with round diamonds, $2,100, Fuenfer Jewelers; 14k rose gold bracelet with white, black and cognac diamonds, $2,095, Fuenfer Jewelers; 14k white gold bracelet with white diamonds, $2,095, Fuenfer Jewelers makeitbetter.net

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Sen Collection asymmetrical dress, $242, Sk채ndal; YSL clutch, $725, Shirise; 14k yellow gold pendant with white and cognac diamonds, $6,430, Fuenfer Jewelers; 18k rose gold ring with white and cognac diamonds, $10,920, Fuenfer Jewelers

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trunk shows sponsored Listings

Shop For A CAuSe At MAttie M

November 1, 6 – 8 p.m. Mattie M, 990 Green Bay Rd., Winnetka, 847-784-8701 15% of total purchases will benefit erika’s Lighthouse. enjoy a trunk show of local jewelry artisans, hand-painted scarves, eyebobs and Urban oxide Handbags.

MCelroy FurS trunk Show

November 8-10, 9 a.m – 5 p.m. The Lake Forest Shop, 265 East Market Square, Lake Forest. thelakeforestshop.com mcelroy Furs exclusive collection of warm and luxurious furs Winter 2012 Collection.

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November 14, 15 Marriott Burr Ridge November 16 Drake Hotel Chicago November 17 & 18 Renaissance Northbrook 50-70% off all new selections of 18k gold and sterling silver jewelry. For exact locations and times visit judithripka.com

AutuMn CAShMere trunk Show

November 23 - 30, 10 a.m. - 5:30 p.m. Fresh Ideas, 300 Happ Rd., Northfield 847-446-3774, freshideasclothingco.com resort Collection of exquisite cashmere.

wilMette JewelerS eStAte Jewelry eVent

December 6, 10 a.m. - 6 p.m. Wilmette Jewelers, 1149 Wilmette Ave., Wilmette, 847-251-1061, wilmettejewelers.com Featuring jewels from yesteryear - victorian, art deco, retro, designer, signed pieces as well as celebrity-owned jewelry. distinguish yourself with a grand jewel from another era. Appointments preferred.

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BET T E R YOU

deerfield’s possessionista Suburban mom and style star BY E VA N G E L I N E P O L I T I S MANY WOMEN FLIP THROUGH the pages of fashion magazines for style inspiration. Instead, Deerfield mom Dana Weiss has always relied on a different resource—her television—and used it as the inspiration for her blog, Possessionista.com. Documenting outfits from popular shows like the “The Bachelor” and “Glee,” Weiss provides her readers with helpful information on how to track down these coveted looks. Now gathering an average of 1.4 million visitors every month, her homemade blog has lead to opportunities she could have never imagined when she launched the blog in 2009. For the past season of “The Bachelorette,” Weiss cohosted the “After Party” online at ABC. com where she and Marc Istook recapped the highlights and fashion. She also hosts “Shop the Shows” on Look TV, a YouTube channel from the creators of “Project Runway,” and has a shop on Open Sky.

How did it evolve from documenting looks you liked to hunting them down? It started out as a catchall for whatever was going on in my head—whether it was TV fashion or celebrity fashion or recipes. It was a daily diary. Then people started finding it. They would then say, “Oh, you found Sloan from Entourage’s earrings; can you also find her dress?” or “I noticed you found The Bachelorette’s dress; can you also find the shoes she wore?” And that was how it started to grow. What type of work goes into it? I update it at least once a day—sometimes three, four or five times. It’s a combination of three categories: things I like,

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things people are looking for and then specific items that I’m just personally obsessed with. There are specific shows that I watch and recap every week, and I work with the stylists at those shows. Then I take email requests—what was a Kardashian wearing, what was Kate Middleton wearing. What are your favorite shows to cover? My absolute favorite shows are the “The Bachelor” and “The Bachelorette.” What I love about “The Bachelor” is the fashion is relatable because you have these 25 regular women who are going on television. There isn’t a stylist and there’s not a ton of money involved—these girls are wearing Forever 21 and H&M. So if you see something you like, chances are you can make it work for your life too. It’s not all couture. On the higher end, I love the fashion of “Revenge.” It’s just a stellar show: aesthetically it’s great; it has an interesting story line; it’s well acted; and the people are attractive. I love “Pretty Little Liars,” too. The stylist’s name is Mandi Line and she’s really creative with her costuming. She’ll buy things off the rack but tweak them just a little bit to make them match the characters’ personalities.

PHOTO BY LIZ IRENE PHOTOGRAPHY

Why did you start Possessionista? I just had my second son, left the workforce and was kinda bored. I was watching TV and started documenting the things that I saw people wearing. It was never really supposed to be anything except for something fun for me and a couple friends.

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What other shows do your readers regularly ask about? People love “Glee.” They’re always asking about the Kardashians. “Gossip Girl” I think is a really obvious one. I’m a mom and I live in the suburbs, so I think Julie Bowen always looks good on “Modern Family,” and she’s just in great jeans and hoodies. Is it tough being in Deerfield and working with people out in L.A.? For “After Party” I fly out to L.A. anywhere from one to three times a month. As a mother and a wife, it can be tough. But being in Chicago has also been an advantage because to someone living in L.A., there’s something very appealing about a mom in a minivan, working out of her house and taking care of her kids who just wants to write about the clothes and TV she loves. In an industry that is so cutthroat, it’s refreshing because I’m not jockeying for a position. This isn’t about making money and becoming famous; this is just about helping people. I’m imagining you’ve always had a love for fashion. It’s hard to say I’m into fashion because I’m not into models and the high-end stuff. I’m not a brand person. I love the aesthetic—I love pretty people and pretty clothes. Did you have any idea that this would be what you’d be doing with your life? No, no, no. But, I like that I have these two lives. When I go out to L.A., I get my hair and makeup done. I shop for clothes and get driven around in a car service. But when I come home, I wipe my kids’ butts. That’s the reality. In the very beginning, it was such a relief to go to L.A. and get away from all of this. But now, the relief is when I leave there and get to come home.

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tween beauty with no cringe factor BY LAUR A HINE

NO ONE—EXCEPT THE MOMS ON “Toddlers and Tiaras”—is more fascinated by beauty products than a tween girl. Which sets up a conflict between mom and daughter. What’s appropriate for an almost-teenager and what makes her look like she’s 12 going on 22? Here are four fun ideas for her, and you won’t have to worry about being the next Honey Boo Boo mama.

3. Crazy fingers Color rules for moms’ and tweens’ fingers. And while you might want to go for just one gorgeous shade of blue, buy her a range and let her create an ombre of fingertips. Essie $8

2. Lip Smackers Glossy lips are still in for the tween set, but to keep her from licking petrochemicals off her lips all day, try Burt’s Bees Super Glossy Lip Shine. Almond oil and citrus oils keep it shiny, but safe. $7

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4. Just for Girls Shaving Kit We searched for a pre-packaged shaving kit targeted to tween girls, but couldn’t find anything—market opportunity, people! So here’s our idea for the perfect combination of products (plus you) to give her confidence for the first time she tackles her legs or underarms. Gillette Venus Embrace Refillable Razor $12, EOS Shave Cream $4, Tom’s of Maine Naturally Dry $6, J.R. Watkins Natural Apothecary Hand & Body Lotion Lemon Cream $8

PHOTOS BY KARILYN OWENS

1. Pre-wrap This soft foam is perfect for keeping long hair in place. Since it started as an athletic pre-wrap tape, it has a cool, sporty vibe. Get a bunch of her favorite colors and she can go crazy making hair bands and other hair accessories. $3-$5

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How to Survive a Party: 10 Ideas for Small Talk Your spouse’s holiday party or the neighborhood gettogether—if you’re not an extrovert, these can be torture. Here are tips for how to get through (and maybe even enjoy) mandatory holiday parties.

The holidays are coming, so get yourself ready. Here are some articles to look for online at

Botox and Fillers: Frozen Face or Youth Serum The controversy over these dermatologist-available anti-aging strategies isn’t medical, it’s cosmetic. Will they improve your look or are they the new “just say no” drug?

PHOTO <CREDIT>

 MAKEITBETTER.NET/ BETTER-YOU

Minding your Manners on Facebook Here’s how to not get “unfriended” through an inadvertent social gaffe. It’s easy to offend without verbal and facial cues, so we have advice on how to be yourself, but still follow the social rules of social media.

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BET T E R YOU

making the most of your

SPA VACATION BY CHRIST Y COUGHLIN

1. Read and Plan Miraval provides an online guide for daily activities, speakers and spa treatments. Our group of friends met ahead of time to review the guide and discuss our interests. We coordinated morning hikes, spa times and meals. Plus it got us all excited for the trip.

With only two full days at the resort, we took advantage of this half day. Restorative yoga started the process of relaxing; next we harnessed our “primitive spirit” in drumming. An early evening spa service, a late dinner, and as we enjoyed a glass of wine on our porch, we felt ingrained in our spa vacation.

2. Hit the Ground Running

3. Expand Your Horizons

We arrived in the early afternoon, just in time for the gourmet lunch. 78

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Most of the classes at Miraval are short—45 minutes to an hour—which

allows for experimentation. We tried meditation, TRX, Zen Tennis and Flying Dragon Yoga. We also tried spa services like Thai Massage, Body Scrubs and Oriental Foot Massage. The speakers at Miraval are well-known authors and experts on nutrition, spirituality and integrative medicine. We opened ourselves up to these interactive sessions.

4. Take a Leap The challenges at Miraval dare you to safely jump from a tall pole, walk a desert tightrope, climb a wall or run the desert trails. These challenges give you a thrill and get you outside your comfort zone. If you have been playing it safe for years, consider a challenge.

5. Be Together and Apart The adrenaline rush of mountain biking on a cactus-lined trail might be your thing, while your friend wants to calm her mind and develop her belly breathing. Your experience will be

PHOTOS BY JENNY TASHIMA

Destination spas like Miraval and Canyon Ranch offer options from mountain hikes to meditation, and of course pampering spa services. Before you go, invest in a little planning to get the most out of your trip. Whether your goal is relaxation, achieving a fitness or weight loss goal, or spending time with people you love, we’ve got 10 ways you can make the most of a destination spa visit.

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enriched when you each pursue your own interests. Team up for a cooking or photography class, mountain hike or yoga.

6. Build Friendships We chatted with a group of ladies who were dining together. They met at Miraval and had become fast friends. They all lived in different cities and enjoyed spending parts of their spa vacation together. Vacations are a great way to get to know your friends more intimately or to meet new ones.

7. Read â&#x20AC;&#x153;Wildâ&#x20AC;? ....by Cheryl Strayed, or some other great book. Sit in a comfortable chair, with the warm, fresh air all around, and let yourself fully immerse in your read. Sip mint-flavored lemonade as you imagine Strayed losing her boot.

8. Eat Like a Queen Indulge in the gourmet, healthy fare like kale salad; beet, pineapple and cucumber juice; fresh halibut and finely cut melon. Healthy eating is easy and delicious. Ask for the recipes of a few favorites. We loved the tuna fish salad made with lemon and mustard, the black rice with edamame and the sweet potato-peanut butter.

9. Relax Find a quiet spot at your spa to sit, relax and just be. Choose the lounge chairs overlooking the mountains, the warm pools scattered throughout, the quiet garden nooks or even your comfy bed with no alarm clock urging you on. Most spas limit cell phone use. Try to go without for your stay.

10. Go Commando Dine in your robe after your spa treatment. Take a break from your rigorous beauty treatment, pull your wet hair back in a pony tail and go au naturel (with the robe).

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BET T E R YOU | sex and the suburbs

Early to Bed

satisfying women’s desire is big business dimension of sexual empowerment, created by the strength of your desire, and backed by the might of your pocketbook. Marketers of products for sexual pleasure—once targeted almost entirely to men—have realized that women are consumers with appetites worth satisfying. In fact, a 2009 Indiana University study claims 53 percent of women ages 18 – 60 have used a vibrator. And the result of growing mainstream use? New products, services and shopping experiences designed with a feminine point of view. Many of the innovators in this category are women themselves, including some business owners here in Chicago.

WOMEN, WELCOME TO A NEW

BEDROOM CHEMIST

Like Andee Harris, a Michigan b-school grad with an impressive consulting pedigree who cofounded the new company, Bedroom Chemist. Harris started the online company to help women avoid bedroom boredom and keep their relationships fresh and exciting. “I know from my own marriage that when my

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husband and I are having good, regular sex, everything else works better,” says the mother of two. Bedroom Chemist’s erotically themed “Chemist Kits” are shipped in discreet packaging to the home. The kits are intended for couples, but the focus is definitely on female pleasure. Each kit has a girly look and comes with practical advice, fun instructions and pretty packaging. The products are as much about creating romance and desire (think massage candles and tingly balms) as getting to the fireworks. A sleek little vibrator may be a part of the kit, but Harris insists, “We are not a sex toy company.” She considers her company to be a woman’s “BFF for the bedroom” with the end goal of having a hot relationship, not just a hot night. MASS-MARKET RETAIL TO LUXE DESIGNER

Shows like Sex & the City portrayed vibrators as a single girl’s salvation, but these days women are taking the initiative to expand their experiences with their partner. Capitalizing on this trend, mass retailers like Walmart and Walgreens offer a surprisingly

PHOTOS COURTESY OF EARLY TO BED AND BEDROOM CHEMIST

BY MAR JIE KILLEEN

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extensive selection of “sexual wellness” items targeted to women, and the products have gone designer. Companies like Lelo (lelo.com) and Jimmyjane ( jimmyjane.com) sell colorful, compact, quiet models that look as chic as fashion accessories. Early to BEd BoutiquE

But for women, the hottest commodity in this category may be information. Searah Deysach, owner of the Early to Bed boutique on Chicago’s north side, opened her store 11 years ago to meet this need. She designed her shop to appeal to what women value when shopping—a pretty space, relatable female staff, ability to examine products and most of all, a place to get some guidance. “I wanted to be the place where women could come,” says Deysach. “Women want to feel they can ask a question that will be treated with respect. People ask us things they can’t ask doctors. They don’t have any place to go for information. Who are we supposed to talk to about pleasure?” Deysach says books like “Fifty Shades of Grey” have opened up new possibilities for women, tapping into desires they may not have realized existed. Those newfound desires are translating into sales. Deysach has seen a surge in interest in alternative products, and there’s practically a worldwide shortage of the silver balls featured in the book. Corporations are benefitting too. Semprae Laboratories, makers of Zestra, an arousal oil for women, estimates their sales will triple in the next fiscal year. Deysach sees this as a good thing. “We’re so worried about being freaky or outside of normal,” she says. “As we break down these barriers, many women are finding happiness.” And if making women happy turns out to be good business, this woman says, it’s a win-win.

bedroom Chemist

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BET T E R YOU | finance

money mistakes BY MEGHAN STREIT

Personal finance pro Ilyce Glink dishes out financial advice in her weekly radio show and syndicated newspaper columns. She’s also a frequent guest on CNBC, CNN and PBS. We recently caught up with Glink and she discussed some major money mistakes you might be making—without even realizing it. 1. Impulse buying We’ve all heard this one before, yet many of us are still guilty of purchasing things we don’t need. “I think women shop more than men, and those little purchases do add up,” Glink says. Even if you have plenty of disposable income and save a percentage of your income, Glink says that’s not enough. She says it’s especially important for women to save because they tend to outlive men. Plus, she says divorce remains common and women don’t always get settlements that enable them to maintain their married lifestyles. She advises figuring out the bare minimum you need to live on and saving the rest. That can be tough at first. But, Glink likens it to a diet—once you form the habit, it becomes second nature. 2. Backing down Sure there are exceptions, but Glink says men tend to be better at negotiating and advocating for themselves than women. Acquiescing can result in women making less money or hiring the wrong professional

advisors, she says. “I wish women were more like men when it comes to pushing for bigger incomes, negotiating for jobs and asking tough questions when hiring professionals.” 3. Buying and holding stocks Conventional wisdom tells us if we hold onto stocks long enough, we’ll earn a decent return. While choosing individual companies to invest in can be exciting, Glink says most of us simply aren’t savvy enough to make the right selections. “As an armchair investor, I’m doing my research, but even the professionals can’t always get it right.” That’s why Glink recommends diversifying with mutual funds instead of putting assets into individual stocks that could win big—or lose even bigger. 4. Miscalculating medical expenses Most people underestimate how much money they may need for health care in retirement. Even with Medicare, Glink says a married couple could end up spending as much as $250,000 on medical care in retirement. The solution? See items 1,2 and 3 above! Save more, earn more and invest smarter—then no matter what your financial future may hold, you’ll be covered. Want more of Glink’s sharp insights and no-nonsense financial advice? Check out her website at thinkglink.com.

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what’s in the box?

early bird gift guide

Need ideas for everyone on your list? These local retailers have the gifts that will get a “wow.”

DuePunti Rings Brightly colored rubber rings set with .02 ct diamond, $98 each. Lambrecht’s Jewelers (Wilmette), lambrechtsjewelers.com, 847-251-3284

Feed the Woozle Cooperative preschool skill building game, $19.99. Children’s Gift Shop (Northfield), thechildrensgiftshop.com, 847-441-5975

CZ by the Yard Sterling silver/cz necklace available in 16” or 18”, $59. Smart Jewelers (Northbrook), smartjewelers.com, 847-673-6000

lille huset play houses Made locally, inspires the imagination and encourages hours of play, $13–$63. lollie (Evanston), lollieshop.com, 847-328-7303

statement necklace made of spider web jaspar and gem stones. Each piece is unique, $98-$150. Mattie M (Winnetka), 847-784-8701

Collégien Slipper Sock Available in several whimsical designs for boys and girls. $30. Odile (Chicago), shopodile.com, 312-255-0800

buddha board Paint the surface with water to create a design. Returns to a clean slate as water evaporates, $34.95. Lad & Lassie (Wilmette), ladandlassie.com

surface saver/cutting board Award winning design, fused glass trivet/ cutting board, $30. Raven & Dove (Wilmette), ravenanddove.com, 847-251-9550

swimming lessons Give the gift that could save a life, $25+. Foss Swim School (Highland Park & Libertyville), fossswimschool.com, 847-266-FOSS

november 2012

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Hydrating Antioxidant Facial Spray protect, energize and hydrate skin, $16. skinfo Specialty Skincare Boutique (Lincolnshire), skinfo.com, 847-459-2800

A. Punto jewelry hand-crafted gold coated black spinel earrings, multiple styles, $84. Vibrato (Wilmette & Glenview), vibratoboutique.com, 847-853-1434

Ditka Kids tees Comfy, long and short sleeve tees, perfect for your little fan. Size 6 mo. to 18, from $20.89. Ditka Kids (Deerfield), ditkakids.com, 312-480-1886

Pearl Blessing Bracelets Be grateful every day. Sterling silver and beautiful pearl colors, $25. la de da! (Northbrook), ladedagift.com, 847-562-1170

bags & clutches by Gigi New York, personalization available, multiple styles, $55-$330. Fresh Ideas (Northfield), freshideasclothingco.com, 847-446-3774

Nordic Light Candle Holder from Design House Stockholm. Red or black, 4 or 7 arm style, $69-$99. Skändal (Winnetka), shopskandal.com, 847-386-7900

books to bed Favorite bedtime books with comfy pajamas to match, $46-$48. Giggles and Giraffes (Wilmette), gigglesand giraffes.com, 847-251-6665

Teacher Gift Set 4 folders, pocket journal, markers, flags and stickies, and binder clips. Teacher Peach (Highland Park), teacherpeach.com, 847-926-7298

Jeweled Hoop Earrings Choose your favorite gemstone, 12 options, $120– $150. Material Possessions (Winnetka), materialpossessions.com, 847-446-8840

sutton studios gift certificate Great gifts for the whole family! Sutton Studios (Evanston), suttonstudios.com, 847-679-8090

Oilcloth Totes Fun and functional (plus rain and snow proof!) for “women on the fly”, $58–$88. Flee Bags (Winnetka), fleebags.com, 847-386-7488

Natale Christmas Bib Made in Italy, My First Christmas bib will be treasured for generations. $35. Odile (Chicago), shopodile.com, 312-255-0800

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DI N I NG

TERRA AMERICAN BISTRO Earthy and flavorful BY JULIE CHERNOFF

come to Evanston. Terra American Bistro, located in the long-vacant Café Luciano space off Green Bay in Evanston, opened in late May. They’ve reworked the space, losing the ersatz trellises and Tuscan-sunny, sponge-painted walls. It has a much warmer—dare I say earthier?—feel now, and they’ve added dining space by annexing the old dry cleaner next door. As for portion sizes, they Terra American Bistro 2676 Green Bay Rd. are generous, Evanston even with the 847-563-9100 small plates. info@terra-bistro.com And we were helped tremen-

THE SMALL PLATE CRAZE HAS

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dously in ordering by our server, a veteran of many hotels and restaurants here and abroad. He helped us navigate the dining experience beautifully. And there’s a lot to cover on Executive Chef David Perlick’s wide-ranging menu. All breads are made in house, from the shards of cheesy, crispy flatbread to the naan bread that came with the Mediterranean Hummus Plate ($9), perfect to wrap around the crisp falafel, hummus and veggies that graced the platter. The Wild Pink Shrimp Cocktail de Cameron ($10) had winning flavor, chunks of juicy shrimp, avocado and cucumber in a spicy tomato-cilantroserrano chile blend, served with a pile

of fresh tortilla chips for dipping and scooping. I’d return just for the Fried Goat Cheese Croquettes ($8), crunchy on the outside, meltingly tender within, filled with tangy goat cheese and served with an agave-sweetened huckleberry sauce (use that sparingly; a little goes a long way). I wish the sauce had been a little more savory, perhaps herbal. If you’re looking for a good, meaty burger, they’ve got an apt candidate. Billed as “The Ultimate Angus Steak Burger” ($15), it’s perched on a housemade brioche bun and topped with a slab of braised pork belly, aged Cheddar, and smoked tomato aioli. The fries were the only disappointment there,

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PHOTOS BY BRITT ANDERSON

neither hot nor crispy enough. Seafood entrees fared well. The French Quarter Jambalaya ($23), chock-full of wild shrimp, chunks of grilled andouille and chicken, had a nice Cajun kick to it, although the rice was a little too al dente. While the Fennel-Crusted Ahi Tuna “Au Poivre” ($26) arrived rarer than ordered, it picked up good flavor from the fennel seeds and peppercorns. The accompaniments of fingerling potato confit and crispy shallots overwhelmed the dish. Not so the Pan-Roasted Lake Superior Whitefish ($19), which paired beautifully with the fregola sarda (tiny Italian pasta, similar to Israeli couscous), asparagus, lemon and arugula, with chimichurri sauce (typically served with Argentine steak) standing by to bring it all together. For desserts, there’s a Chocolate Lava Cake ($9), yet another (albeit successful) take on the standard; fresh berries ($8), beautifully plated and topped with fresh whipped cream; a decent Bananas Foster ($9) and a highly touted Pecan Pie ($8) that turned out to be meh. The place was packed on a recent Saturday night, and certainly there’s something on the menu to please just about everyone. The full bar is seriously hopping. They certainly hit the ground running – perhaps because they already own Montarra in Algonquin (worth a drive). It’s clear this is not their first rodeo.

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DI N I NG | dining list

Carnivale

where to party HOW IS IT NOVEMBER ALREADY? The holidays are nearly upon us, and it’s about time for you to pick up the phone and get busy booking your holiday party, whether it’s for the office or your family and friends. There are so many great places—some with private party rooms, others with large commu-

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nal tables, and many that are willing to close for the right price— that I’ve got to wonder, why haven’t you started already? Chop, chop! Time’s a-wasting. (And save this list if you have a big birthday or smallish bar/ bat mitzvah on the horizon. Useful beyond the holidays!)

PHOTO COURTESY OF CARNIVALE

BY JULIE CHERNOFF

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ChiCago Ada Street rent the whole place for 50 people and a great time. 1664 N. Ada St., 773-697-7069, adastreetchicago.com Bar Toma Pizza by the meter and wine by the litre in a semi-private space. 110 E. Pearson St., 312266-3110, bartomachicago.com Belly Q bill Kim’s newest, orgasmic Asian bbQ in the totally reworked old 160 blue space. 1400 W. Randolph St.., 312-5631010, bellyqchicago.com Carnivale Get your Latin groove on in this wild space. 702 W. Fulton Market, 312-850-5005, carnivalechicago.com Club Lucky A throwback supper club in Wicker Park, with many spaces to choose from. 1824 W. Wabansia Ave., 773-2272300, clubluckychicago.com Gene & Georgetti The classic Chicago Steak House for the classic holiday party. 500 N. Franklin St., 312527-3718, geneandgeorgetti.com

evanston Koi Sushi, martinis and a very zen atmosphere. 624 Davis St., 847869-6969, koievanston.com Pensiero Ristorante Lush Italian food in an intimate setting; lovely private space. 1566 Oak Ave., 847-4757779, pensieroitalian.com Pete Miller’s rent out the bar for your office party; the pool table is an added plus. 1557 Sherman Ave., 847-328-0399, petemillers.com Tapas Barcelona Small plates, paella and copious amounts of sangria will fuel the fun. 1615 Chicago Ave., 847-866-9900, tapasbarcelona.com glenview Cafe Lucci Party with 30-60 of your closest amici in their private room. 609 Milwaukee Ave., 847-7292268, cafelucci.com Hackney’s Patty melts and fried onion loafs are a bit of the past for your party’s future. 1514 E. Lake Ave., 847-724-7171, hackneys.net

Mercat a la Planxa Great tapas in a soaring space. 638 S. Michigan Ave., 312-7650524, mercatchicago.com

Wildfire They can accommodate parties of 12-100 in one of their 5 party rooms. 1300 Patriot Blvd., 847-657-6363, wildfirerestaurant.com

The Publican rent out the whole place at lunch, or throw a smaller soiree at Publican Quality meats. 837 W. Fulton Market, 312-733-9555, thepublicanrestaurant.com

highlanD Park Bella Via Two large rooms that can be combined for a huge party, and classic Italian food. 1899 2nd St., 847-681-8300, bellaviahp.com

DeerfielD Trax Tavern and Grill bar food + party room = good time. 833 Deerfield Rd., 847236-0203, traxtavern.com

Café Central Available on Sunday afternoons and all day monday, feast on bistro fare with your friends. 455 Central, 847-2667878, cafecentral.net

highwooD Bridie McKenna’s Themed parties are a specialty at this Irish favorite. 254 Green Bay Rd., 847-432-3311, bridiemckennas.com

northfielD Happ Inn Love their private dining room, complete with bar and cocktail area. 305 Happ Rd., 847-784-9200, thehappinn.com

lake Bluff Inovasi Their cozy private dining space seats up to 25 for a private gathering. 28 E. Center Ave., 847-295-1000, inovasi.us

skokie EJ’s Place red meat heaven mixed with old school, red sauce Italian make for a hell of a party. 10027 Skokie Blvd., 847-9339800, ejsplaceskokie.com

lake forest Francesca’s Intimo Private and semi-private spaces available for groups of 10-100; lovely Italian food. 293 E. Illinois Rd., 847-735-9235, miafrancesca.com Lovell’s of Lake Forest I love the wine cellar (up to 14 guests) and the fireplace room (up to 55). 915 S. Waukegan Rd., 847-234-8013, lovellsoflakeforest.com linColnwooD L. Woods Tap The casual warmth of the north Woods abounds at this midwestern supper club. 7110 N. Lincoln Ave., 847-677-3350, lwoodsrestaurant.com northBrook Morton’s Three private dining rooms that can be combined to accommodate 88 guests. 699 Skokie Blvd., 847-205-5111, mortons.com/northbrook Zapatista margaritas and more await you at this super-festive spot. 992 Willow Rd., 847-559-0939, zapatistarestaurant.com

Maggiano’s Their four party rooms accommodate anything from a small supper to a bar mitzvah for 250. Family-style service. 4999 Old Orchard Center, 847-9339555, maggianos.com winnetka Avli Estiatorio real Greek food in a lovely and hospitable space. opa! 566 Chestnut, 847-446-9300, avli.us Mirani’s The upstairs party room seats 25, or rent out the whole space for a true bistro experience. 727 Elm St., 847-441-5590, miranisrestaurant.com wheeling Cooper’s Hawk Winery Two private party rooms (seating 30 and 50), and many lunch and dinner packages available. 583 Milwaukee Ave., 847-215-1200, coopershawkwinery.com Tuscany Three private dining rooms (for 25, 35 and 80 guests) and more Italian food than you can possibly eat. 550 S. Milwaukee Ave., 847-465-9988, tuscanychicago.com

For more of Julie Chernoff’s dining reviews and articles, visit makeitbetter.net/dining

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di n i ng

recipe

overnight orange-pecan french toast When family visits for Thanksgiving, I’m not too stressed about the big meal. I know the menu, and there’s only a little wiggle room for innovation—you mess with stuffing and mashed potatoes at your own peril. It’s all those other meals that put the cook in a quandary. breakfast? Postshopping snacks? So you don’t feel like a short-order cook when guests descend in the morning, put on a pot of coffee and pop this breakfast casserole in the oven. I love the orange flavor, but you could switch it up with pumpkin or cranberry to really gild the Thanksgiving lily. Yields: 12 slices French toast Time: Prepare night before; less than

one hour to bake in the morning

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ingredients  L cup butter, melted (plus additional butter for greasing pan)  1 cup packed brown sugar  2 tablespoons light corn syrup  ½ cup toasted pecans, roughly chopped  1 teaspoon grated orange rind  1 cup freshly squeezed orange juice  ½ cup milk  3 tablespoons sugar  1 teaspoon cinnamon  1 teaspoon vanilla extract  5 large eggs  12 slices French bread (about 1 inch thick)

instructions 1 Grease a 9 x 13 baking dish. Combine melted butter, brown sugar, corn syrup and pecans. Spread on bottom of dish. 2 Whisk orange rind and juice, milk, sugar, cinnamon, vanilla and eggs. 3 Place bread slices on top of the pecans and sugar, then pour the egg mixture over the slices. make sure all the bread is coated with egg. 4 Cover and refrigerate overnight. 5 Take casserole out of the refrigerator, uncover and preheat oven to 350°. Casserole should sit out about 20 minutes while oven is warming. 6 bake for 35 minutes or until lightly browned. Flip each slice over when serving so pecan sauce is on top. menu noTes: Bacon baked on a rack in the oven is a

perfect accompaniment to this baked French toast, and it makes very little mess.

Photo by emmie hine

by laur a hine

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the better list House & Home > Painters

Hester Painting & Decorating beautify your home with Hester Painting & Decorating. Hester Painting & Decorating provides distinctive finishes for walls, ceilings, doors, cabinets and furniture. From venetian plaster to silver and gold leafing to crinkle paper, Hester applies an endless palette of faux and decorative finishes to create elegantly inspired rooms that clients often refer to as works of art. 7340 North Monticello Ave, Skokie, IL 847-677-5130 hesterdecorating.com

Make It Better User Reviews:

“Hester has done 2 projects for me. The first was to apply grass-cloth wallpaper in a large part of my condo. The other was to do a custom paint job in a very large room, in addition to painting ceilings and trim throughout my condo. The attention to detail and quality of the work on both occasions was superb. They spent several days on prep work, and showed me sample board of the paint finish before proceeding. I couldn’t be happier with their work and can’t recommend them highly enough. They are simply the best!” – Lisa

“Highest quality work” from the mouth of a super-picky homeowner. really attentive and courteous. Would absolutely use them again on our next painting job!” – Julie

“The quality work from Hester Painting is top notch, and you can’t find a more professional staff anywhere. I recommend them to all my friends looking for faux painting and specialized work.” – Kelly

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e n t e rta i nm e n t

giving thanks for fall theater by robert Loer zeL

evanston, Which Is over There

Theaters around the Chicago area are wrapping up the runs of their early autumn shows. Meanwhile, actors are trying out their Drosselmeyer, Scrooge and George Bailey costumes. It must be November. Here’s a look at the month’s most promising stage productions.

with a rhythmically challenged ukulele player, a buddhist runner spouting Sufi poems, a disgraced psychotic cop and other characters. Curious indeed.

the Odd COuple November 2 – December 9 Northlight Theatre, 9501 Skokie Blvd., Skokie 847-673-6300 | northlight.org Tim Kazurinsky and George Wendt seem almost ideal for neil Simon’s classic comedy about a neat freak and a sloppy sportswriter struggling to achieve détente as roommates. both actors have deep roots in Chicago’s comedy scene, and Kazurinsky, who lives in evanston, has been stretching out lately with theatrical roles, even trying Shakespeare. The duo should make a hilarious oscar and Felix.

the letters October 30 – February 17 Writers’ Theatre at Books on Vernon, 664 Vernon Ave., Glencoe | 847-242-6000 | writerstheatre.org Kimberly Senior directs the midwest premiere of John W. Lowell’s thriller about politics and disinformation in the Soviet Union of the 1930s. expect thick tension and paranoia in this intimate bookstore space.

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my One and Only November 7 – January 13 Marriott Theatre, 10 Marriott Drive, Lincolnshire | 847-634-0200 | marriotttheatre.com originally concocted for a broadway run in 1983, this show repackages some of George and Ira Gershwin’s songs into the sort of romantic misadventures and dancing you’d expect in a movie with Fred Astaire and Ginger rogers. Yes, it’s a pastiche — but with this music, ’s wonderful.

Photo courtesy of curious theatre branch

evanstOn, WhiCh is Over there November 9 – December 16 Curious Theatre Branch at the Side Project, 1439 W. Jarvis, Chicago | 773-973-2150 | curioustheatrebranch.com Despite evanston’s prominent position in the title, Curious Theatre branch’s new comedy by beau o’reilly actually takes place in rogers Park, populating the neighborhood

the nutCraCker November 9 – December 30 House Theatre at the Chopin, 1543 W. Division St., Chicago 773-769-3832 | thehousetheatre.com This is not your grandmother’s “nutcracker.” House Theatre, which knows how to charm both adults and children, calls it a “fantastical deconstruction.” It won high praise from critics at the Steppenwolf Theatre in 2007, and now it’s back in time for the holiday season.

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AMERICAN THEATER COMPANY “The Wizard of Oz” and “It’s a Wonderful Life” staged radio plays November 17 – December 30 773-409-4125 | atcweb.org AUDITORIUM THEATRE “Sister Act” November 13 – December 2 312-977-1700 broadwayinchicago.com BROADWAY PLAYHOUSE “Potted Potter” November 13 – December 16 312-977-1700 broadwayinchicago.com

DRURY LANE “Singin’ in the Rain” November 8 – January 13 630-530-0111 drurylaneoakbrook.com GOODMAN THEATRE “A Christmas Carol” November 17 – December 29 312-443-3800 goodmantheatre.org THE HYPOCRITES “Pirates of Penzance” November 20 – January 13 773-989-7352 the-hypocrites.com

theater

guide

MUSEUM OF CONTEMPORARY ART “Mike Daisey: American Utopias” November 1 – 11 312-397-4010 | mcachicago.org NEXT THEATRE “Welcome Home, Jenny Sutter” November 15 – December 23 847-475-1875 | nexttheatre.org

PROFILES THEATRE “Hellcab” November 9 – December 23 773-549-1815 profilestheatre.org VICTORY GARDENS THEATRE “Failure: A Love Story ” November 16 – December 30 773-871-3000 victorygardens.org

PHOTO <CREDIT>

CADILLAC PALACE THEATRE “Les Miserables” November 14 – December 2 312-977-1700 broadwayinchicago.com

COURT THEATRE “James Joyce’s ‘The Dead’ ” November 8 – December 9 773-753-4472 | courttheatre.org

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E N T E RTA I NM E N T

music by val Music that moves

BY VA L H A L L E R O F VA L S L I S T. CO M

AT THE RISK OF SOUNDING like a ‘60s flower

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Trevor Hall

PLAYLIST: MOVE ME 1. Origami Crane by Trevor Hall 2. If You Want Me To by Ginny Owens 3. Next To Me by Emeli Sande 4. Don’t Let It Pass by Junip 5. A Fathers First Spring by The Avett Brothers 6. Stones From the Riverbed by Matthew Perryman Jones 7. Song for a Friend by Pieta Brown 8. Thank You, Stars by Katie Melua 9. Keep Me In Your Heart by Luke Brindley 10. What a Day by Greg Laswell

CONCERTS NOT TO MISS

October 31 Beats Antique @ Park West (cool date night; world music meets rock) November 2 Will Hoge @ SPACE (chill night out; singer/songwriter) November 2 Jethro Tull’s Ian Anderson @ The Chicago Theatre (flashback) November 4 Shawn Mullins @ SPACE (couples’ night; great music & back stories)

November 8 Stephen Kellogg & The Sixers @ Park West (family night) November 9 Allen Stone @ Lincoln Hall (fantastic artist, blue-eyed soul) November 15 Haley Bonar House Concert at Val’s (contact us at Valslist.com if you’d like to be added to limited guest list) November 23 & 24 Mavis Staples @ City Winery (something new to do with your holiday guests)

PHOTO BY LIZZIE TRUMAN

child, I admit there are some music artists who speak to me—not just musically—but spiritually, too. I won’t preach or witness here, but spiritual is the only way to describe the visceral feeling I experience when listening to certain music. These artists draw you in with their particular strengths, calming you, speaking to you. Trevor Hall, an indie singer/songwriter, openly shares that he finds his inspiration through meditation and his trips to India. His reggae-infused melodies are comforting and meditative; his lyrics speak of beauty, love and unity; chants and hymns flow in and out. My favorite is his track “Origami Crane.” His live shows are a moving experience, and the entire audience of all ages participates. He donates a large portion of his earnings to children in India, supporting a school there. Another artist who offers a more-thanmusical experience is Ginny Owens, a blind Christian singer/songwriter. I am particularly moved by her track “If You Want Me To.” This song brings you to your knees, closes your eyes and makes you listen. I usually cry. Interpret the lyrics as you wish— that part is personal. But give it a listen. A third artist with a completely different sound is pop artist Emeli Sande. Her big hit from this summer, “Next to Me” would be a great addition to your party playlist! But if you stop dancing for a minute and give it a serious listen, you’ll hear her message. It’s positive and hopeful. How lucky we are to have music that lifts us up—and makes us think.

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books so nice you’ll read ‘em twice The books you shouldn’t miss on your kid’s reading list B y K e l ly K o n r a d

Books typically are better when the reading isn’t required. The next time your high schooler leaves their backpack open, reach in and grab their reading list. Chances are, there are several “must reads” for them that will be equally enjoyable for you—and you’ll have a chance at some parentchild bonding at the same time.

To Kill a Mockingbird Harper Lee A classic for the ages, and a topic that’s still relevant today—how the decisions we make as adults can mold our children’s values. Atticus Finch agrees to represent a black man accused of raping a white woman. The story remains as riveting as when it was first published. Contemporary twist 

“A Time To Kill,” John Grisham

The Catcher in the Rye J.D. Salinger Ah, teen angst! Holden Caufield’s journey from prep school to new York City are instantly relatable to anyone who’s been or is 16. Contemporary twist 

“Prep,” Curtis Sittenfeld

Lord of the Flies William Golding maybe it’s because all mothers can relate to the chaos of more than one child under the roof—we take comfort in the knowledge that despite what kids say, the presence of an authority figure really does make a difference. Contemporary twist 

“Hunger Games,” Suzanne Collins 96

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A Separate Peace John Knowles Is Phineas or Gene the original frenemy? A great novel to share with kids coming of age, when girls and boys begin to navigate difficult middle school and high school relationships. Contemporary twist 

“Queen Bees and Wannabes: Helping Your Daughter Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boyfriends, and the New Realities of Girl World,” Rosalind Wiseman

The Great Gatsby F. Scott Fitzgerald everyone needs to brush up on one of the definitive novels of the roaring 20s before Leo takes to the screen next summer. oh, that dashing Gatsby! Contemporary twist 

“Rules of Civility,” Amor Towles

Sense and Sensibility Jane Austen I don’t care if it’s 200 years old, it still makes me sniffle! (And, quite honestly, the film adaptation with emma Thompson and Hugh Grant is enchanting.) A great read for moms with their daughters, with an endearing lesson on what love really is. Contemporary twist 

“Bridget Jones Diary,” Helen Fielding

The Jungle Upton Sinclair The plight of the working class versus corporate greed? Who knew? Here’s a book that’s just as comfortable in a sociology or history class as it is in American Literature. And just as relevant to the times. Contemporary twist 

“Nickel and Dimed,” Barbara Ehrenreich

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nd enlightening, Nothing but the Women Reveal the Power of Positive beyond the abundance of negative reveal the powerful and positive nships. From the online social netof Wives, this book brings together rk that will change the way you look .

t build families, communities and culture. God is a testament to what is possible when SLER, playwright, performer, and activist.

ave always been at the center of feminist owerment. Nothing But the Truth So Help Me personal as political and will inspire the

NE SPILLAR, executive editor, Ms. Magazine

Me God proceeds as a series of calm, truthn important locus of wisdom still resident These women have stepped into the void…to the redemptive powers of womanhood and selfit is to drop on one knee and say, ‘Thank —PETER COYOTE, actor and writer

Me God offers a rare and insightful look at e, the truths we hold, and the struggles we d inspire you. I hope women, and men, will r understanding of who women are today and rness their power.” ANE BUCKINGHAM, author of the bestselling Modern Girls Guide and CEO of Trendera

r. Shark attacks. Tiny boobs. Big asses. The al, they are an instructional manual on how m your life in the process. A must read for

LEY JENSEN, editor-in-chief, Women’s eNews

AMIE PENWELL ANA HAYS ANDREA DRUGAY ASPEN BAKER CAITLIN MCCAFFREY CAROL POTT CHIEKO MURASUGI CHRISTINE ARYLO CHRISTINE BRONSTEIN CRISTINA ROBINSON COLLEEN JOYCE DANA KING DEBORAH SANTANA

DIANE TOBER,Page PHD. 1 of 1 DOMINIQUE BROWNING EILEEN CHAO HYLA MOLANDER JANINE KOVAC JEN SIRAGANIAN JESSICA BUCHLEITNER JOANIE WYNN JOY NORDENSTROM JOYCE MAYNARD JUDY ZIMOLA KIM SHANNON KIMBERLY PINKSON

KRISTIN GERBERT LAURA FENAMORE LEILA RADAN LIESL GERNTHOLTZ LENORE PERRY LISSA RANKIN LONE MORCH MARGARET KATHREIN MARIE DRAKE MEDEA BERN MICKEY NELSON MIMI TOWLE MONICA MICHELLE

NANCY CALEF REBECCA LUBIN SARAH MANYIKA SHASTA NELSON SUSAN NOYES SUSAN SCHNEIDER TAMARA HOLLAND TRACY MCGHEE VICKI NELSON VICTORIA LOREN MILLER VIOLET BLUE YVONNE LATTY

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anthology of essays from and about the female perspective A BAnd of Wives is going to print.

“Nothing But the Truth So Help Me God,” the popular web community’s first in a planned series of books, offers powerful insight into the lives of some of today’s most successful women. What makes the book profound is what’s revealed— that these women, who always appear to have it all together, sometimes don’t. Their stories about what they’ve learned along their individual journeys can provide readers powerful advice for their own lives. For example, a lesson on accepting that we can’t be it all, all at once, is a perfect illustration of what you’ll find within its pages. The book can be purchased online at nothingbutthe truth.com.

https://www.myidentifiers.com/isbn_assets/barcodes/1638147/9780988375413/978098837... 9/26/2012

Compiled by Christine Bronstein and edited by Carol Pott, essayists featured include Christine Arylo, Lissa Rankin, Aspen Baker, Joyce Maynard, Joanie Wynn and Make It Better’s founder and president, Susan B. Noyes.

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M A K E A DI FFE R E NCE

HELP BABIES REACH POTENTIAL  Pathways 800-955-CHILD | pathways.org All babies deserve to reach their fullest potential. Pathways pediatric outpatient center in Glenview offers early therapy for children with motor, sensory and communication delays. Volunteers participate in therapy sessions, assist therapists with various daily activities and may also help the business office staff, either on a regular basis or for special events or projects. Please visit the website and fill out the volunteer application form, and we will match you to activities based on your background and skill level. For more information, please contact info@pathways.org. ASSIST CHILDREN IN CRISIS Maryville Academy 847-294-1703 | maryvilleacademy.org

SANDRA A. MILLER

DONATE A CAR IN WORKING CONDITION Heather’s House at Aid for Women 312-701-0763 | helpaidforwomen.org Heather’s House at Aid for Women offers women and their babies a loving residence where they can stay for up to two years. Heather’s House is looking for used cars in working condition to help our mothers travel to and from classes and work. If you have a vehicle that you are interested in donating, please call or contact Bonnie Ryan at b.ryan@aidforwomen.org. GIVE HOLIDAY GIFTS Connections for the Homeless 847-424-0945 | cfthinc.org Make the holidays special for local individuals and families in need by providing a gift from a wish list. Items may be for someone’s job search or first apartment or

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A Catholic college-prep high school, Josephinum empowers economically disadvantaged young women. For the past six years, 100 percent of Josephinum’s graduates have been accepted into college. Weekly volunteers will assist with student tutoring or other ongoing activities. One-time volunteers assist with special projects. For more details or to volunteer please contact Teresa Battaglia at 773-292-3964 or teresa.battaglia@ josephinum.org.

as basic as a pair of gloves. Your participation will provide concrete resources and also encouragement to someone working to move out of homelessness. Contact Lisa Todd at 847-424-0945 x 11 or visit the website to sign up. PROVIDE ITEMS FOR VICTIMS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE YWCA Evanston/North Shore 847-864-8445 | ywca.org/evanston Mary Lou’s Place, the domestic violence shelter operated by the YWCA Evanston/ NorthShore, is in need of towels (new or used) and new bras and underwear for the women and children. Most needed sizes: Women’s L-Plus, Children’s XS-XL. Donations can be delivered to the YWCA Evanston/North Shore at 1215 Church St. in Evanston. To find out more, including additional in-kind needs, call or visit their website.

PHOTO COURTESY OF PATHWAYS

BY SHARON KRONE AND

Maryville Academy helps children and families reach their fullest potential by empowering intellectual, spiritual, moral and emotional growth, both in residential settings and two short term emergency settings. Volunteers assist medically fragile children who are at their crisis nursery or mentor teens living in group homes. Volunteers with special skills in art, theater or music are encouraged to apply. Call or contact Mary Kieger at kiegerm@maryvilleacademy.org.

TUTOR PROMISING STUDENTS Josephinum Academy 773-276-1261 | www.josephinum.org

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PHOTO COURTESY OF HANDS OF HOPE

PROVIDE SCHOOL LUNCHES The School of Choice / L’ Ecole de Choix 312-493-9929 | ecoledechoix.org

GIVE FAMILIES HOPE  Hands of Hope 847-381-7367 | handsofhopeonline.org

PRESERVE EVANSTON’S PAST Evanston History Center 847-475-3410 | evanstonhistorycenter.org

Funds donated to the School of Choice/L’ Ecole de Choix provide warm lunches to the students, on-site health care, living wages to teachers, and a safe environment for the children living in the most extreme conditions of poverty in Haiti. Students who were illiterate can now read, write and speak in three languages and have hopes of careers in every profession. Donations can be made online or can be sent to The School of Choice Education Organization, 1240 N. Lake Shore Dr., Ste. 11a, Chicago, IL 60610. For questions, please email laura@ schoolofchoice.net.

Each gift card purchased will supply an impoverished family in Africa with 12 chicks, a milk producing goat, funding for digging a fresh water well, or a supply of seeds, tools and training for farming. Inside each card is a printed message that a gift has been given to a family in Africa in the recipient’s honor. See the selection of heart-warming cards and place your order online, or call for more information. Hands of Hope is a Barrington-based, 100% volunteer nonprofit organization, dedicated to the critical needs of women and children in Africa since 1999.

Located in the National Historic Landmark home of Charles Gates Dawes, the Evanston History Center is a private, non-profit educational and cultural institution established to preserve and share Evanston history. The EHC collects, preserves and tells the story of Evanston’s past through tours, interactive museum exhibits and wideranging educational programs. Your gift will preserve the meaningful past, so that it may enrich the future. Gifts are accepted by phone or online. Mark your calendar for the free annual Holiday Open House on Sunday, December 2, 2012, 1-4 p.m.

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NOVEMBER 2012

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ph i l a n t h rop y awa r ds

philanthropy awards M a k e

On National Philanthropy Day, November 15, Make It Better will announce the winners of our first ever Philanthropy Awards. Here are the categories and finalists—look for a profile of the winners in our February magazine.

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FuNDrAIsINg INNOvAtION AwArD This award recognizes fresh and unique fundraisers with demonstrable results. The finalists: ProjectMusic: one hundred percent of the funds raised pay for two weeks of camp for the children of Lydia Home orphanage in Chicago. Rainbow Hospice and Palliative Care: one of the oldest and largest not-for-profit hospice organizations in Illinois, serving terminally ill patients and their families in Chicago and surrounding counties.

EDucAtIONAl INNOvAtION AwArD This award recognizes projects and programs that demonstrate effective educational innovation through tangible results, such as better test scores, lives made better, the program’s reach or new skills retained. The finalists: Daniel Murphy Scholarship Fund: Awards college preparatory high school scholarships and academic programming opportunities to bright students from economically disadvantaged backgrounds. Innovations for Learning: Uses technology to make teaching and tutoring more effective. Kohl Children’s Museum: Helps transform teaching styles for educators who serve primarily low-income children throughout the Chicago area.

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Lincoln Park Zoo’s Young Researchers Collaborative Program: Trains educators to make inquiry-based science a key part of their instruction. Options for College Success: offers individualized support to students with learning disabilities to help them succeed and live independently. Spark: Provides life-changing apprenticeships to youth in underserved communities across the United States.

MOst IMPrOvED FuNDrAIsINg AwArD This award recognizes the continual improvement of fundraising efforts at local and national levels. The finalists: Great Lakes Adaptive Sports Association: Its 4th Annual Twilight run, Walk, roll provided an opportunity for athletes who have physical disabilities to embrace the GLASA motto of “Let no one Sit on the Sidelines.” The Hadley School for the Blind: The blinded veterans Initiative supports blinded veterans as they adjust to sight loss while helping them pursue their personal and professional goals. Starlight Children’s Foundation: They are dedicated to helping seriously ill children cope with their pain, fear and isolation through therapeutic entertainment, education and family activities.

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Most InspIrIng MIssIon AwArd This award recognizes creative and unique missions that clearly articulate the organiza‑ tion’s goal and target audience. The finalists: A Safe Haven Foundation: Provides home‑ less individuals and families with supportive housing in the Chicago area. Girls in the Game: Promotes sports and fitness, nutrition and health education, and leadership development to enhance the overall health and well‑being of girls. The Hadley School for the Blind: Promotes independent living through lifelong, distance education programs for individuals who are blind or visually impaired, their families and blindness service providers. Spark: Addresses the dropout crisis by con‑ necting volunteer professionals with under‑ served youth in workplace apprenticeships to “spark” their potential.

LIves MAde Better AwArd This award recognizes the not‑for‑profit orga‑ nization that has made the most lives better per funds raised. The finalists: By the Hand Club for Kids: An after‑school program that takes kids “by the hand” and walks alongside them until they are indepen‑ dent, responsible adults. Designs for Dignity: Last year alone, this not‑for‑profit renovated nearly 15 project sites with pro bono design services and material donations. L’Ecole de Choix/The School of Choice: This trilingual elementary school located in Haiti offers a high quality education for children liv‑ ing in the most extreme conditions of poverty.

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M A K E A DI FFE R E NCE

better makers and their impacts 2

CHICAGO BOTANIC GARDEN

14th Annual Harvest Ball September 25, 2012 $400,000 raised (SHOWN IN PHOTOS):

PHOTOS COURTESY OF CHICAGO BOTANIC GARDEN

(1) Jeremy and Julie Unruh and Cathy and Michael Busch, all of Winnetka; (2) Caroline Masterson of Lake Forest and Sally Brown Thilman of Chicago; (3) Jen Cunningham, Britt Callahan, Kendra Thornton, Brittney Magner, all of Winnetka; (4) Funds raised benefit the Chicago Botanic Gardenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s youth and teacher education programs; (5) Danielle Dold and Congressman Robert Dold of Kenilworth

Sally Brown Thilman of Chicago and Caroline Masterson of Lake Forest, Event Chairs; Megan Hoffman of Winnetka, Emily DeGroot of Chicago and Kendra Thornton of Winnetka, Auction Chairs

IMP ACT

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WOMEN’S BOARD OF RAVINIA FESTIVAL

“Leading Ladies” July 21, 2012 $900,000 raised (SHOWN IN PHOTOS):

(1) Ravinia President and CEO Welz Kauffman of Highland Park and Ravinia Women’s Board Chairman Jeanne Denison of Northbrook; (2) Dan Linzer of Evanston, Dolores KohlKaplan of Highland Park, Jennifer Linzer of Evanston; (3) Jennifer Konz-Alt of Wilmette; (4) Students from William G. Hibbard Elementary in Chicago participate in Ravinia Festival’s Sistema Ravinia student orchestra program.

LES DAMES D’ESCOFFIER CHICAGO

T AC IMP

30th Anniversary “Eat, Drink & Give Back: A Weekend of Toasting” September 7-9, 2012 $25,000 raised (SHOWN IN PHOTOS):

(1) Mary McMahon of Lake Forest, Sharon Olson of Chicago, Jen Lamplough of Batavia and Nancy Brussat of Northfield, owner of Convito Cafe & Market; (2) Cake to commemorate Julia Child’s 100th birthday created by Chef Scott Green, instructor at The French Pastry School of Chicago; (3) Patty and Tom Erd of Chicago, The Spice House owners; (4) McCormick Girls & Boys Club of Chicago. Susan Lamb Parenti, event chair; Jennifer Lamplough, president Make It Better was a sponsor of this event

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T AC IMP

RAVINIA FESTIVAL PHOTO #1 BY PATRICK GIPSON/RAVINIA FESTIVAL; ALL OTHER PHOTOS BY ROBERT F. CARL

Elizabeth Bergmann of Evanston and Judy Castellini of Winnetka, Event Chairs; Jeanne Denison of Northbrook, Women’s Board Chair

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GREAT LAKES ADAPTIVE SPORTS ASSOCIATION

5th Annual Twilight Run, Walk and Roll The Gorton Community Center, Lake Forest September 8, 2012 $22,000 raised (SHOWN IN PHOTOS):

(1) Runners, walkers and rollers at the starting line; (2) Runners round the corner of the 3.1 mile course; (3) Bob Berthiaume, Gabi (age 10 and a GLASA athlete) and Gretchen Berthiaume of Racine, Wisconsin helped to raise money for GLASA, which provides recreational sports for youth, teens, and adults with various disabilities.

PHOTOS COURTESY OF GLASA

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T AC IMP

Make It Better was a sponsor of this event

10/10/12 2:24 PM

w e ddi ng a n nou nce m e n ts

We’re happy to announce…

The wedding of Jennifer Elizabeth neé Nielsen and Michael Leo Feldman on August 11, 2012 at Indian Hill Club in Winnetka. The bride and groom met at Sarah Lawrence College when Michael volunteered to go with Jennifer into Manhattan one weekend. A shared trip became shared exploration of the city, and they fell in love in the process. The couple went to Ireland for their honeymoon, and we hope, had fun exploring a very different island. Photos by Tao Zhang / Lenswork Studio in Winnetka.

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rabbi Sam Gordon

congregation sukkat shalom local treasure

Congregation Sukkat Shalom (CSS) haS

had no physical home of its own since a handful of North Shore families founded it over 18 years ago. But the diverse, community-centric, intellectually rigorous, celebrate-with-foodoriented group kept growing anyway. To accommodate this, the Congregation wandered like spiritual nomads from living rooms to beachfront to public buildings like schools and women’s clubs to various churches owned by other faiths. But as of October, CSS will wander no more. The Congregation moved into a home of its own—an elegantly remodeled former Christian Science Church at 10th and Central Avenues in Wilmette. Dedication ceremonies were held in mid-October. At a time when many institutions are shrinking, powerful lessons can be learned from Sukkat Shalom’s success, like the importance of inclusivity, community, authentic spiritual and intellectual exploration, and celebrations with food. (The Congregation includes fellowship and dining together in as many of its gatherings as possible.) A core mission of the Congregation is to work closely with the broader community— including diverse faith traditions—to create a

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culture of mutual respect and understanding. CSS intends to bring together Jews, Christians, Muslims and Bahá’í for education, spiritual growth and social justice. The location of their new synagogue should facilitate this. As Rabbi Sam Gordon explains, “Sukkat Shalom will be the first Jewish institution to join a cluster of other religious buildings in this area of Wilmette, which I think of as a church campus.” Two of those churches are the Wilmette Community Church and First Congregational Church, which welcomed CSS to share their sacred worship space during its nomadic period. Gordon hopes to soon return the favor. On a recent tour, Gordon and Past President Liz Sciortino enthusiastically describe the greater participation in community service that their new facility will allow. The Congregation already works with programs like Family Promise, which uses a network of churches to temporarily house homeless families while they regain stability. CSS will be able to host these families now that they have their own synagogue. CSS flourishes as a unique, innovative, thoughtful response to a diverse population yearning for greater spiritual connection. And now, they have a home to call their own!

synagogue Photo by Fred Wilson; Photo oF rabbi sam gordon courtesy oF sam gordon

by susan b . noye s

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10/12/12 10:02 AM

local marketplace body Science chicago State-of-the-art technology and professional, certified technicians. experience results-oriented cellulite reduction Therapy with the best technology and expertise. New client special: $99 for 35-45 minute lipomassage or endermolift treatment 281 Waukegan rd.,northfield 847-999-9585 bodysciencechicago.com

rnbc if your child struggles with social, emotional, or learning challenges, rnbc can help. building children’s strengths, our multidisciplinary team provides psychological, social-emotional and speechlanguage assessments, behavioral neurology/pharmacology and educational services. 4711 golf road Suite 1100, Skokie 847-933-9339 | rnbc.org F:\2012\March 2012\highland pop window lettering-doors.plt 5/9/2012 9:31:27 AM

WinneTka animal hoSpiTal one of the most highly regarded veterinary clinics serving the north Shore. our clean, modern and comfortable state-of-the-art facility is equipped to handle full patient care for both cats and dogs. your pet’s health is our foremost priority! 700 oak Street, Winnetka 847-441-7474 winnetkaanimalhospital.com

plaSTic Surgery and med Spa of dr. michael byun awarded “best plastic Surgeon 2012” by make it better, dr. byun has locations in both the north Shore and downtown chicago. he specializes in procedures for the face, breasts, body and skincare. 1775 Walters ave. northbrook 847-513-6899 chicagocosmeticsurgery.com

Scale: 1:3.20 Height: 16.328 Length: 24.000 in

highland pop highland pop is the finest gourmet popcorn, fudge and taffy shop! made fresh all day everyday with the highest quality nut-free ingredients. family owned and operated. $5 off each $30 purchase during November. Not valid with other offers.

SvelTe body SySTemS lose a dress size in 2 weeks with lipomassage. Tighten, sculpt and tone areas of the body that respond poorly to diet and exercise. call for a free consultation. New Client Discount: 6 Sessions for $500

464 central avenue, highland park 847-433-4200 highlandpop.com

820 davis Street #432, evanston 847-772-5487 sveltebodysystems.com

children’S gifT Shop of norThfield classic to trendy, newborn-tween, busy moms and grandmas will find it fast with our super service! Toys, books, games, arts and crafts, outdoors and more. free gift wrapping and shipping too!

See your buSineSS here! Are you a local business owner? Learn more about advertising in the Local Marketplace! Contact Michelle Weiss, Advertising Sales Director, at 847-256-4642 or michelle@makeitbetter.net

Special offer: $5 off any purchase of $5 or more. 310 happ road, northfield 847-441-5975 | thechildrensgiftshop.com

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closi ng t hough ts

for all humankind —Sikhism

for all —Buddhism

your neighbor as yourself —Christianity

Aspire to the greater good of

Seva, Zakat, Tikkun olam, Repair the

—Humanism

—Hinduism

—Islam

—Judaism

This comes from the Interfaith Youth Core video at ifyc.org/better-together

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