Mama Life issue 3

COMPLIMENTARY COMPLIMENTARY

mamalife life mama STAFFORDSHIRE’S LUXURY PARENTING & LIFESTYLE MAGAZINE STAFFORDSHIRE’S LUXURY PARENTING & LIFESTYLE MAGAZINE

magazine magazine

ISSUE 2 / APRIL-MAY 2017

ISSUE 3 : JUNE/JULY /AUGUST 2017

this dad can

A DAD’S PERSPECTIVE ON PARENTING

CHILD BEHAVIOUR

IS YOUR CHILD “ACTING OUT”?

ARE YOU IN THE RIGHT RELATIONSHIP?

FASHION SUMMER ESSENTIALS BEAUTY- Say HELLO to Summer

welcome to

MAMA LIFE ISSUE 3

WITH A NEW DAY COMES NEW STRENGTH AND NEW THOUGHTS Why does it seem that as we get older time seems to pass us by so much faster?

As mothers, juggling the everyday turmoil of responsibilities and life, we have also been working frantically to prepare you a fantastic read. Our Summer issue is packed with lots of great editorial, especially our Summer Fashion & Beauty getting us ready for the much awaited sunshine and holidays.

With great demand nationally for Mama Life Magazine we have now gone live with Subscription for those that are not living within the Free Zone! You can subscribe through the Mama Life website, so please spread the word!

Hope you all have a fantastic summer with your loved ones.

Happy reading.

Stay Safe & Keep Smiling.

Our next issue will be out 11th September 2017

Meral Mehmet & Natasha Inan Editors-In-Chief

DISCLAIMER

Mama Life Magazine (mamalifemagazine.co.uk) is owned and published by Reel Media & Publishing Ltd No person, organization or party can copy or re-produce the content on this site and/or magazine or any part of this publication without a written consent from the editors’ panel and the author of the content, as applicable. The publisher (Reel Media & Publishing Ltd), authors and contributors reserve their rights with regards to copyright of their work.

The copyright includes (and not limited to) The content syndication from the RSS feeds of this publication The content and/or images used in any of the articles of this publication The Mama Life Magazine logo and any of its derivatives The content on the Mama Life Magazine and its website are made available on the terms and condition that the publisher, editors, contributors and related parties: shall have no responsibility for any action or omission by any other contributor, consultant, editor or related party disclaim any and all liability and responsibility to any person or party, be they a purchaser, reader, advertiser or consumer of this publication or not in regards to the consequences and outcomes of anything done or omitted being in reliance whether partly or solely on the contents of this publication and its related website and products. Reel Media & Publishing Ltd (Mama Life Magazine) are not responsible in any way for the actions or results taken by any person, organisation or any party on basis of reading information, or contributions in this publication, website or related product.

3 / JUN 2017 / ISSUE 03

Content

SWITCH OFF THE AUTO PILOT

By Toni MacKenzie

08 - 09

10 - 11

12 - 13

ARE YOU IN THE RIGHT RELATIONSHIP?

Beauty

HAIR

By Wendy Capewell

By Rachelle Grimes

By Black Sheep Hair

// How do you know if your partner is right for you?

// Say Hello to Summer

// Hair Products

fASHION

By Emma @ Stylissimo

Valuing your PARTNER’S Parenting Style

By Jon Nevill

AL FRESCO DINING

27

30-31

By Simon Smith

Happiness Mantra 32 - 33

34

41

TRAVEL

Happiness mantra

SOCIAL MEDIA

By Amanda Rudham

By Jo Howarth

By Jan Kiermasz

// Top Tips for a Last Minute Getaway

// Thought of the Day

// Snapchat or Facebook

18 -19 WORK LIFE BALANCE

By Susan Leigh

14-15

22-23

Mama Life Magazine is also available to view & download online: www.mamalifemagazine.co.uk

43

47

50

Money

from frazzled to zen

Astrology

By Jenny Bracelin

By Romella Jones

By The Secret Clairvoyant

// Pensions

// Creating Calm

// June - August Forecast

MAMA LIFE magazine

PUBLISHER : REEL PUBLISHING & MEDIA LTD EDITOR IN CHIEF : Mel Mehmet SALES & ADVERTISING DIRECTOR : Natasha Inan DEPUTY EDITOR : Susan Miller FASHION : Emma Russell BEAUTY : Rachelle Grimes HAIR : Michaela Devlin BOOK REVIEWS : Christie Barlow FOOD : Simon Smith PRINTERS : MRC DISTRIBUTION : Self Select

Contact: Editorial : editorial@mamalifemagazine.co.uk 01283 533 888 // 07956 643 433 advertising: advertising@mamalifemagazine.co.uk 01283 533 888 // 07816 861548 GENERAL ENQUIRIES: hello@mamalifemagazine.co.uk

A family holiday to Australia to see my son in 2014 was a trip that completely changed my life.

MAMA LIFE

I had no idea I’d be going on holiday and coming back with what I believed was a mission, all because I read an article in the local paper about the Alannah and Madeline Foundation – an Australian charity which keeps children from violence and abuse.

EVENT

Reading the piece stirred a deep emotional reaction within me and as a mother I just had to do something for children in emergency care back home in the UK, so I set up The Buddy Bag Foundation in 2015.

It supports children that have been removed from traumatic domestic situations and placed into emergency accommodation.

No ordinary scarf.

No fuss, no tying, simply button and go.

So far the Foundation has packaged and delivered 8864 bags to children in refuge centres. The bags go to children who have to flee the family home because of violent situations and often arrive at centres in the middle of the night with nothing.

Bags cost £25 each and make a real difference to the children.

website: www.mamalifemagazine.co.uk

@mamalifemag

The Day I Made a Difference ...

Mama Life Magazine

mamalifemagazine

contributors RESIDENT JOURNALIST : Alex Sullivan relationships : Wendy Capewell FITNESS: Ben Walsh EMOTIONAL WELLBEING : Toni Mackenzie MONEY : Jenny Bracelin HAPPINESS : Jo Howarth SOCIAL MEDIA : Jan Kiermasz TRAVEL: Amanda Rudham ASTROLOGY : The Secret Clairvoyant

As a Foundation we aim to deliver 20,200 Buddy Bags to 300 refuges across the UK by 2020.

We hold regular Buddy Bag Packs where Volunteers are able to donate two hours of their time to help to pack our buddy bags - a backpack containing items like a toothbrush, soap, pyjamas, socks and underwear.

Along with comforting items like a book and a teddy bear.

The Foundation has packaged and delivered 8840 bags to children in refuge centres - initially in Staffordshire and now nationwide.

For more details how you can get involved visit www.buddybagfoundation.co.uk or Facebook BuddyBagFoundation.

GUEST contributors Jon Nevill Louise Jensen Jaspreet K Heer Susan Leigh Romella Jones

next issue is out on the 11 th september

call to order now 01827 58006 www.rewclothing.co.uk 10% OFF THIS MONTH WITH CODE: MAMA10

Are you in the right

Relationship?

By wendy capewell

www.yourrelationshipspecialist.co.uk

Do you lie awake next to your partner at night wondering whether you are really happy being with this person?

How do you know if you are in the right Relationship?

Do you lie awake next to your partner at night wondering whether you are really happy being with this person?

This can often happen when things aren’t going so well. Maybe you have just had a blazing row and don’t really like him right now – and in fact at the moment your feelings could be even stronger than that! Or perhaps things haven’t been going right for a few months, or even - years! You lie there with lots of jumbled thoughts going through your head, piling up all those negatives about him and your relationship. Thinking about all his bad habits, all the things he hasn’t done or said. All the bad points about your relationship. Because those negative things are more likely to be uppermost in your mind right now. You couldn’t begin to think about anything positive. It probably wasn’t like that at the start.

For most couples the beginning of a relationship is really intense. During that Romantic stage, the honeymoon period, you are the centre of each other’s attention, each focussed on the other. You could only see the positives in each other and a rosy future together. A place where all your dreams and fantasies would come true.

I know it was for me. A cottage in the country, roses round the door and four children playing happily in the garden with my adoring husband by my side.

As wonderful as this stage is, it doesn’t last.

When reality kicked in you begin to notice his irritating habits that seemed to have developed overnight – surely they weren’t there at the beginning. You may even begin to experience doubts as to whether this is a sustainable relationship, as arguments become more frequent or communication breaks down. You begin to grow further apart, physical contact lessens, you don’t cuddle as much and kisses become a cursory peck. Maybe your sex life dwindles, as you begin to feel taken for granted, ignored even and you may not fancy him anymore.

ask yourself what you really want from a relationship. What are the qualitied and values you are looking for in a partner. Now, ask yourself if those values and qualities are evident in this relationship?

Physical attraction can be an important factor, but so are honesty, loyalty and kindness, as well as several others. So it’s vital to ask yourself whether your core values and beliefs are in line with those of this guy sleeping soundly next to you. Whether deep down you have the solid foundations of a relationship.

List all the positives So whilst you are compiling the damning list of things he hasn’t done, picking at that irritating scab of discontent, you probably missed out all the things he does do - the nice things about him and your relationship and you have probably forgotten your irritating habits and the things you don’t do.

When we feel disgruntled, we human beings go straight to the negatives, so spend a few minutes considering the positives and the good times you have together. Then, think about what you can do to move your relationship forward.

Talk to each other If things are going wrong, the only people who can resolve them are you. I know it’s so easy to avoid difficult issues in the hope they will go away, but they aren’t going anywhere. If you don’t know how to broach the subject read my article in the April Issue of Mama Life – ‘How to Fix Communication in Your Relationship’. It contains some great tips.

Hopefully you can resolve the issues that are keeping you awake in the wee small hours and instead you can cuddle up together and sleep soundly, with the knowledge that this was just a bump in the road, which every relationship experiences at some time.

However, if after taking all the above steps, you are still unhappy and tossing and turning night after night, perhaps it’s time to consider whether you are in the right relationship.

Just stop a moment!

While you are lying there listing all the negatives about your partner, stop - and for a few minutes, wendy capewell author of:

From Surviving to Thriving in a Romantic Relationship http://amzn.to/2jkxJ8D ISSUE 03/ JUN 2017 / 8

9 / JUN 2017 / ISSUE 03

Say hello to

beauty

BEYOND POWDER

By ILLISMASQUA

A baked highlighting powder subtly adding a warm hue to your complexion for a natural, radiant glow, whether you want to achieve an all over illuminating finish or simp y highlight certain points, Beyond’s lightweight texture glides onto skin effortlessly, creating a healthy, flawless skin finish.

Price £34.00

S

R E M M U

By Rachelle Grimes

www.rachellegrimesmakeup.com

EIGHT HOUR CREAM Sun Defence As well as including all the nourishing benefits we all love from the original eight hour cream, Sun Defence for face is lightweight, quick to absorb, contains SPF 50 and allows your skin to breathe when wearing every day.

www.illamasqua.com

Sexymama

£17.50 www.debenhams.com

la creme colour drench By too faced

Drench your lips in comfortable creamy colour in double bubble. Enriched in conditioning hydrators, indulging power peptides and lotus flower extracts.

It’s a real summer burst of colour.

Price £ 18.00 www.debenhams.com

bronze goddess edp

By DIOR

Bringing you endless summer days with this intense sun drenched parfum. Add the shimmer spray oil to condition dull & dry skin and sculpt your bronze goddess body Price £57.00 (50ml) www.esteelauder.co.uk ISSUE 03 / JUN 2017 / 10

ROSE GOLD

By KIKO COSMETICS

Scented primer and makeup setting spray. Treat your face to an instant fruity freshness.

2

1

Price £7.90 www.kikocosmetics.com

3

Matte shaker

By LANCOME

Price

4

A totally different take on lipstick, the Matte Shaker leaves behind a gorgeous lip stained look, for lips that want to stay bold for hours without having to re-apply.

5

£26.00

By THE BALM

Price

This summer’s trend

By Elizabeth Arden

MAMA LIFE LOVES

Sweep “Sexymama” all over your face to control unwanted shine.

This product can also be used to set your makeup, keeping a busy mama matte.

KIKO TROPIC PRIMER & FIXER

www.elizabetharden.co.uk

1. Nars Alhambra 2. YSL Touch eclat glow shot 3. Newlook rose gold tweezers 4. Zoeva rose golden luxury brush set £65 5. Jouver cosmetics lip gloss rose gold £13.50

Price £19.50

FACE BRONZER FOR MEN

www.lancome.co.uk

MAMA LIFE LOVES

By CLINIQUE

Calling all my male readers! Do you want to achieve a healthy looking glow this summer? Well look no further- Apply evenly onto your face for a sun-tanned appearance which is oil free. I bet your wife borrows it.

Price £21.00 www.boots.com

BEACH TINT WATERMELON

MAMA LIFE top tip

By BECCA COSMETICS

A sexy flush of believable colour beach tint is a must have multitasker. Its creamy/gel pigment is perfect for a day at the beach as it has great staying power. For lips and cheeks, apply to bare skin or over makeup for an “I’ve just eaten an ice lolly vibe”.

Price £20.00

You wouldn’t settle for Mr “Almost Right” so why do it with your foundation shade? Adjusting drops by bodyshop.com (£10) help you turn an almost there foundation into the perfect one.

Warm your foundation as your tan gradually gets darker on holiday.

www.cultbeauty.com

luxury v high st

LUXURY ~ DIOR Bronze- Self-Tan £34.00 HIGH STREET ~ GARNIER Solaire - Self Tan £11.49

1 step gel kit

By GEL WORKS

A one coat gel nail kit, that lasts up to 14 days. Comes with a portable LED lamp 2 x Gel Polishes, remover sachets & removal sticks.

Perfect for the holidays and women on the go.

Price £49.95 www.gelwork.co.uk

Luxury TRAVEL MINIS 1

4

2

3

5

1. Urban Decay – Naked basic mini palette £24 2. Benefit – Roller lash curling mascara travel size £10.50 3. Liz Earle pocket size intensive nourishing treatment mask £6 4. Becca – Glow on the glow mini highlighter set £20 5. EOS – solid lemon drop lip balm SPF15 £6.50 6. Kiehls – Miniature holiday skincare trio – ultra facial cleanser, ultra facial toner & ultra facial moisturiser £34

6

11 / JUN 2017/ ISSUE 03

hair

SUMMER HAIR SLEEK

If you fancy a change for your evening look, why not go sleek? After cleansing and conditioning the hair with L’Oréal Nutrifier (Coconut Oil) Shampoo and Conditioner, gently towel dry hair, apply one pump of TIGI Bed Head After Party to mid lengths and ends and comb through. This will help to soften the hair and keep it moisturised. Dry your hair with a large paddle brush, which will help you to get hair as sleek as possible. Use the large straighteners, if necessary, to smooth back over the hair. Once all dry and straight, spray from a distance very lightly with TIGI Bed Head Headrush Shine Spray to add shine and keep the hair looking sleek and glossy.

TEXTURE

Summer is just around the corner, so let your hair down and enjoy your natural hair texture. After cleansing and conditioning hair with “L’Oréal Liss Frizz Control” Shampoo and Conditioner, gently towel dry hair, apply two pumps of “L’Oréal Mythic Oil” to the mid lengths and ends and comb through. This will help prevent frizz and also soften the hair.

Diffuse the hair till 80% dry.

Diffusing the hair will create the soft movement. Lastly finish off with “TIGI Catwalk Texturizing Sea Salt Spray” and diffuse for a further 5 minutes to add definition and body.

ISSUE 03 / JUN 2017 / 12

COLOUR

There’s nothing better than that freshly new colour feel. Your hair looks rich, healthy and glossy until a couple of short weeks later your once shiny hair turns dull and bland. Shades of blonde go brassy and copper/red tones are less vibrant. A harsh shampoo can strip the colour right off your hair before you rinse the suds from your eyes. Look for shampoos and conditioners that are gentle, colour-safe and sulfate free.

Sulfates will make your shampoo lather, but they can also strip the colour from your hair. L’Oréal Vitamino Color helps prolong fresh selfie-ready hair. The shampoo is sulfate free and enhances colour radiance. UV protection within the formula also makes it a massive must have for this year’s summer holidays. You put sun screen on your skin to protect it, so why wouldn’t you do the same with your hair? The shampoo is lightweight and leaves your hair feeling refreshed and ready to take on the day.

fashion

Summer Essentials

By EMMA RUSSELL

www.stylissimo.co.uk When it comes to a stylish summer wardrobe for me it’s all about co-ordination, multi-use pieces and crease free packing. Let’s face it who wants to be cracking out the iron once you land at your beach destination? To ensure that this summer you look hot for all the right reasons follow my essential guide to stepping out in style when you hit the beach. My advice choose pieces that can be worn in multiple ways. Think playsuits, jumpsuits or dresses in light fabrics that can be styled with fab accessories and worn first as an evening look and then downgraded to beach attire styled with your swimwear during your holiday. By choosing light fabrics that are unlikely to crease once packed, you not only ensure that you are packing less but also items that once hung up on arrival, any creases will drop out in the heat. I also advise on choosing a colour palette where different pieces co-ordinate with each other, again so that items can be easily mixed and matched in multiple ways.

Style Must Have

Beach cover ups don’t have to be a kaftan or a sarong, my personal favourite is a playsuit with a couple of co-ordinating swimsuits. This Primark playsuit and matching one piece are firmly on my shopping list when they drop into store mid to late May. Primark Swimsuit £8

River Island Swimsuit £38

Style TIP

Botanicals are an evolution of the floral trend for high summer, with a less feminine edge and a cool edition of colour it’s one way to incorporate pattern into your wardrobe.

Primark Playsuit £8 Prefer a more traditional nautical look? Why not try this one piece and harem trousers as an alternative beach look. This swimsuit is perfect for creating illusions, the eye is drawn to the lightest brightest colour that you wear. Therefore, this suit draws the eye to the top half with the knot detail adding volume to your bust, with the wider darker stripes complimenting your lower half. Pop on the harem trousers and hat for a chic cover up look during lunch.

Trousers J by Jasper Conran at Debenhams £30

Metallic Sliders Faith @ Debenhams £49

R A B o t h c a e Fr om B

Co Ord Two Piece River Island (Price not available at time of print)

Want to make the most of the sunset and not leave the beach? Then these pieces are the way to do it, very much “throw on and go” these will work both as an evening look as well as beach attire.

LIFE MAMAVES LO

Marks and Spencer Top and Bottoms £10 each

Style TIP

This blue botanical two piece from Figleaves.com is perfect for ladies who require more volume around the bust area as the knot and cross over detail give depth and volume and the high waisted bottoms are great for those worried about a mummy tummy. The Palm Springs collection: top £28 bottoms £20

Take me Away Hat £18 Floozie

by Frost French at Debenhams

Swimsuit by Ted Baker at House of Fraser £69

Want to know which swimsuits suit your body shape?

Book in for a Personal Styling session.

10% off for Mama Life Readers www.stylissimo.co.uk

Lemon & Blair are a totally vegan and cruelty free brand. How cute is this banana leaf and flamingo cross body bag?

Perfect for carrying those holiday essential items. £80 at www.lemonandblair.com

Stylist top ACCESSORIES Jane Norman Boho Playsuit £25 gives a fab festival vibe www.janenorman.com

Primrose Primark Dress £17

Monochrome accessories will prove versatile with the ability to style them day and night with your holiday wardrobe. My stylist top picks are

Monochrome Beach Bag £9.50 Marks & Spencer

Pom Pom Hat from Next £18 Sandals £19.50 from Marks & Spencer

New Look Floral Jumpsuit £24.99 ISSUE 03/ JUN 2017 / 14

15 / JUN 2017 / ISSUE 03

Laura Elizabeth Smith Beauty Therapist

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lasts for up to

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6 months into my diet Every time I went to my fridge there it was staring right at me: my 1st, 2nd, 3rd and 4th stone certificates. I’m a few pounds short of my 5th stone loss.

However, I have started to slip slightly. I’m finding things tough; I’ve started a new job, working more hours and I have struggled to plan my meals properly, mainly my lunchtime meals. I need to be more prepared and take something into work but as I keep saying, I have come this far and I am not giving up.

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(above Lords & Rocco)

LAURA ELIZABETH SMITH BEAUTY @lesbeauty81 @lesbeauty

Going through this weight loss journey has made me question my relationship with “food”. Why do I find it such a comfort? I knew where and how it started. Was it time I dealt with the tragic time I went through as a child? Was I ready to face it and talk?

‘Maybe we’ll save that for another time,’ I thought.

Let’s just push it back to where it has been through most of my childhood... pushed right back there in a box in my mind. I was not ready to open that box, but I know I’ll have to at some point.

My girlfriends would plan a night out; I always loved a good girlie night, once I was out!!! But the lead up to it was awful. Boy, did I have some tears in the changing rooms trying to find something lovely to wear, something modern like what my friends would be wearing. But they were a size 10 or 12 –

the nice clothes stopped at a size 16. However, this time getting into a size 22 was a nice feeling. All my size 28 clothes had been bagged up and sent to the charity shop. ‘Bloody hell, one day I will be a size 14,’ I thought!! I’ve never wanted to be super slim but I would love to have a womanly figure.

“I will get that figure one day.”

I never shared with my friends Jo, Sara and Lesley how I felt at that time; they always thought I was the “life and soul of the party”. Again, it was something I pushed aside, but inside I would feel so broken. I would do my hair, put my lippy on, have a few drinks for Dutch courage of course, and then let the party get started!

We would always have a good night and they were great friends. I have been blessed to have so many lovely, kind, supportive friends but if I hear one more time: “Oh, don’t worry about your weight, you’ve got such a pretty face”… I’m going to punch someone!!!

Come on, that 5 stone is within my reach!!

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In the next issue…

Follow Natasha’s journey of Highs & Lows - Does she hit her 5 stone?

17 / JUN 2017 / ISSUE 03

VALUING YOUR PARTNER’s PARENTING STYLE

by JON NEVILL Founder & Director of THIS DAD CAN

I

As Millennials, my wife (Abi) and I started with so much self-belief; we would singlehandedly conquer the world, be above the rest and be further ahead than we actually are. We had visions of what success would look like before reaching 30. Owning a 110 Land Rover Defender, owning multiple properties, and Abi working in the West End.

n reality though we’re a pretty average family, living a pretty average lifestyle. We’ve two kids, a mortgage on a three-bedroom property (which is bursting at the seams with possessions), an unattractive family car, and like many, we aspire for a happy, healthy lifestyle.

Abi and I have been together for ten years. We’re passionate about jointly raising the kids, and have different strengths and qualities to complement this.

Abi and I are like chalk and cheese. Opposites attracted and our life has been peppered with a series of lessons, on how to positively navigate opposing views - on almost everything!

Against Abi’s advice, whilst on our honeymoon I had the audacious plan of driving up to the beach. Low and behold, the Ford Fiesta hire car didn’t quite respond as I had seen on Top Gear. Only to find us hitting the first bit of sand and having to plead with a sweaty, topless Portuguese man to help us dig the car out. The whole experience was a painful encroachment on my self-pride, but another important lesson about our opposing views and how we interact with situations. In a snap decision, I had taken it too personally and concluded Abi was labelling me as incapable, or had I not driven to the beach we would be destined for a sanitised, uneventful future.

Had I taken the time to genuinely listen to her, I would have realised my fears were not the case, she had purely engaged with the facts; the sand would stop the car.

On another topic, our views on medication contrast too.

I favour holistic therapy, whilst Abi may be more inclined to turn to medicine. On one occasion, Abi threw an effervescent vitamin into her mouth, like a sweet.

Having not realised that the particular vitamin, should be dissolved in water first. It naturally dissolved in the moisture of her mouth, making her look like foaming Frodo Baggins, stabbed by the spider in Lord of The Rings.

When faced by a decision or a challenge, I’ll attempt to conceptualise my own view and then instigate the action. Whereas Abi will shape her view by consulting others and turn to them to also outwork the action with her.

So, what does this mean for our parenting?

Well, ultimately, we do things differently, but in our opinion the result is often the same.

When having play dates, our kids may occasionally enter into the odd bare-knuckle boxing match with other children, over who plays with Thomas the Tank Engine first. As you’d expect Abi and I sometimes have two very different responses. Abi may be inclined to intervene and sacrificially offer the toy to the other family’s child. I may be more inclined to allow the children to work it out for themselves. Both responses result in one child playing with the toy.

ISSUE 03/ JUN 2017 / 18

My approach may be perceived as neglect, lazy or by my very omissions automatically applying such responsibility on Abi to address. However, I provide space for our children to explore this with their peers, because I believe it’s essential for them to develop and be able to navigate such situations in our absence. Our children need both the security and safety, but also the exposure to risk and realistic social environments. Abi and I have a lot of common ground on this topic, we recognise the child’s conflict, we want our child to develop social skills, however addressing this in real time, has often been counterproductive. We’ve learnt to explore this topic in a safe environment, when distractions and social pressures are not present.

Putting the kids to bed is a similar story. Abi does a fantastic job with time-keeping and everyone ends up asleep. I sometimes deviate and respond to what’s happening. The odd bath time may be dropped, but the grot slot is sometimes calmer. Both of us end with the same result (the kids in bed), but are sometimes significantly different experiences for all. Neither is more correct than the other. Kids have got to wash, we have to be responsive and flexible. We’ve learnt the value of taking the time to explore options together. Our differences complement one another and provided they are positively addressed, support a richer experience of life for all.

So, what’s the solution? How do you best respond to different approaches, when those opposing views are relentless?

1.Don’t take it personally. Your partner has experienced a different life, that’s why they see life, respond, and parent differently. They’re not there to make your life harder.

2.Learn to address topics when distractions, such as the kids are not present. This will give you a safe environment to operate rationally like adults, a space to hear each other’s views, plan and pursue a positive solution.

3.Seek to understand their view. Practice genuinely listening to them. Become proficient in the art of active listening, as a way of truly understanding each other’s perspective.

4.Explore options together. Third options commonly exist, you just need the appetite to look for them together.

5.Rather than becoming further entrenched by me vs you, focus on the common ground.

This Dad Can resources men to be the dads they want to be. Covering topics such as happy parenting, communication, supporting mum and practical changes. From short courses to bespoke packages, dads can find us at www.thisdadcan.co.uk

19 / JUN 2017/ ISSUE 3

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Carbohydrates are a body’s primary source of fuel, containing a high level of the natural sugar. Without this fuel we would not be able to burn fat and function efficiently, quickly causing our body to store fat rather than burn fat. However, too much or too little sugar can have a negative effect on our bodies. Two different types of carbohydrates have a different effect on our blood sugar levels and therefore a strong influence over the control of our body’s fat-burning and fat-storing modes.

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@the3dlipoclinic ISSUE 03 / JUN 2017 / 20The3DLipoClinic

clinic_23

Following on from our last article we shall address the three key types of fuel your body needs to function well and burn away the excess fat, and how they help our bodies. These are Carbohydrates, Proteins, and Fats.

gemma@the3dlipoclinic.com

These are complex, and simple (or refined) carbohydrates.

The former refers to whole foods that have been exposed to minimal or no processing, are still in their original state, and are higher in fibre.

Simple carbohydrates however, are those that have been refined and processed where the original grain is stripped of its fibre and nutrients and ground very fine to produce e.g. white bread, white pasta, as well as pastries, cakes, and biscuits.

Other simple carbohydrates are also those lower in fibre such as white rice. Extra carbohydrates come in the form of added sugars usually any ingredient ending in “-ose” and syrups. These sugars confuse our body, cause our blood sugar levels to fluctuate, and our body will store rather than burn fat.

Eating more complex and less simple carbohydrates, both in frequency and portion, is key to maintaining balanced blood sugar levels, and helping us to lose and maintain weight.

Proteins are the building blocks of our body.

Their primary function in the body is as a structural component, in particular, muscle tissue, skin, hair and nails, and the production and stabilisation of hormone levels.

They also help regulate our blood sugar levels, which in turn controls our fat-burning and fat-storing modes.

As the main material of our muscle tissue, protein has a big influence on our metabolism - the rate at which our bodies burn fat (for energy) even in the absence of any kind of activity.

Muscles use up a lot of energy when resting, and use up a significant amount more after we have exercised - when they are in their repair, toning and strengthening phase.

This is why increasing your consumption of lean proteins is just as important as maintaining regular exercise. Unfortunately when we don’t eat enough of the right foods such as lean proteins and complex carbohydrates, our bodies burn the protein in our muscles for energy, not only impacting upon the shape, tone and strength of our figures, but slowing down our metabolism, resulting in our bodies storing more food as fat rather than burning it up as energy.

Fats not all oils or fats are unhealthy, small amounts are very healthy and some are even essential to heart, digestive, skin, nerve and brain health. They are also essential for optimum weight management and body toning.

Omega 3 (O3) and Omega 6 (O6) are called Essential Fatty Acids. They are essential because the body cannot produce them, so we must obtain them from our diet. We naturally require a higher amount of Omega 6 to Omega 3. However the typical western (UK) diet contains far too much O6 to O3, which means we must now eat more foods rich in Omega 3 to rebalance our diet.

Heating certain oils such as virgin olive and sesame seed oils, can change their composition from healthy oil into dangerous oil which may increase the risk of high cholesterol, hypertension, heart disease, stroke, obesity and cancer. Therefore use only those underlined for cooking, and the rest for dressing our meals.

Typical bad fats are called saturated, trans-saturated, and partially or fully hydrogenated fats or oils. These fats are very harmful to the body, raising our bad cholesterol level (LDL), blood pressure, which if become blocked can cause heart attacks and strokes.

By swapping our consumption of high fat foods e.g. fried foods, red meats, dairy, and processed frozen and packed foods, with foods that are rich in healthy essential fats, you reduce your risk of causing heart disease, strokes and weight gain. Nuts and seeds contain essential fats which means controlled portions of no more than two servings daily will help provide essential nutrients such as selenium, zinc, magnesium and iron as well as B vitamins, protein and essential fatty acids.

21 / JUN 2017/ ISSUE 03

I

t’s rare that everything you’re doing is equally urgent. Pay attention to how you’re using your time. Immac did a survey on how home-based women spent their time and found that they often made more trips to the shops for individual items, rather than making a one-off shopping list. They turned on the TV to watch the news and then became immersed in the next programme. It can happen all too easily, but isn’t conducive to bringing the best balance into life.

I’m a big fan of lists. Used well they can bring motivation, order and the ability to manage what we want and need to tackle during each day. And crossing items off the list can be incredibly satisfying!

Let people help at home. Children may not be as efficient as you when it comes to folding the laundry or setting the table, but let them feel supportive, included and responsible. Might there be some merit in hiring help with cleaning, ironing or gardening? The money spent may be more than worth the time you free up for other things.

It’s been established that taking breaks is an important commitment to health, wellbeing and a good work/life balance, often letting you return to tasks with a clearer head, better perspective and an improved way of looking at problems or concerns. Stopping for a ‘water-cooler’ break, a piece of fruit or a walk around outside allows you to switch off for a while, detach from the matter in hand and gain a fresher viewpoint. It may sound counter-intuitive when you’re under time pressure but, used well, breaks can be a great aid to efficiency.

H

by Susan Leigh www.lifestyletherapy.net

ow is it possible to achieve any semblance of work/life balance when we’re leading such busy, full on lives, perhaps managing insistent clients or bosses, caring for children, elderly or ailing family members, all demanding great chunks of our time and energy? And indeed, on occasion we may have to park up our personal needs and wants to accommodate those times in our lives. But, if we’re constantly managing crises we may need to pause and examine if there are areas we need to address.

Fun, family and friends are important in a work/life balance but if friends or family are becoming too demanding, guilt-tripping you into doing things that you find pressuring, unpleasant or excessive it may be necessary to learn how to say ‘no’ in a firm way. ‘Yes’ can become the most negative word in our vocabulary if we’re agreeing to things we can’t or don’t want to do, whilst ‘no’ can become the most positive, when used to reclaim our life, time and balance.

Try to switch off at a set time each day. Turn off technology. Don’t be tempted to intermittently check your email or social media. Instead allow yourself to enjoy connecting with family, friends and yourself.

You should find that your mood, quality of sleep and overall happiness levels improve as a consequence.

Let’s look at some tips to support a better work/life balance, so enabling a better quality of life.

Are you a perfectionist, constantly editing, adjusting, adapting and checking? Do you loathe to train someone new to take on areas of your work, fearful that you may become dispensable or that they may do a better job? Satisfying bosses, customers and clients is important, but letting other people share the load can sometimes mean that they discover better systems and ways of working, freeing you up to undertake other tasks. Sometimes relaxing the need for perfection and being ‘good enough’, explaining the pressures you’re under and asking for help can allow others to appreciate how much you actually do. And may open the door for new skills training to enhance your capabilities.

When work is full on or there are no alternative solutions it’s important to ensure that you take good care of yourself during that period. Schedule twenty minutes for a relaxing bath, time with a book, listening to music or going for a pleasant walk.

Let yourself disconnect for a while from the pressure.

23 / JUN 2017 / ISSUE 03

Living with a Disability

I

t took a long time for me to feel comfortable with myself. My teens had passed in a blur of self-loathing regarding my body (tape measure, thighs and many tears; need I say more?)

In my twenties I had my first two children. I adored being a mum and left my full-time job to become self-employed. It was a gamble and incredibly hard work but I didn’t want to be stuck in an office while my children learned to talk, to walk, and I wanted to instill a strong work ethic into my boys. By the time I reached my thirties I had settled into a career of holistic therapy, had three happy, healthy children, great friends and a beautiful house in a village environment.

What could possibly go wrong? Umm quite a lot as it happens.

I had experienced Pelvic Girdle Pain thoughout my last two pregnancies, to the extent that I couldn’t walk at all with my third child. After the birth I spent a year receiving intensive physio, I regained a good portion of my mobility although my pelvis was never pain-free but I was working towards being able to run again. I was optimistically driving to a physio appointment when somebody crashed into the back of my car and in seconds all my hard work unraveled. I sustained some damage to my spine, my ligaments tore and my weakened pelvis became even more unstable.

Although I was in too much pain to stand or walk unaided it never actually crossed my mind that could now be my permanent state. I had worked hard on my health before and I was prepared to again. However, after numerous tests, x-rays and MRI scans when my consultant uttered the words, “I am sorry there is nothing we can do for you”, I felt such a huge blind panic I could literally feel me retreating inside of myself and that’s where I intended to stay.

It isn’t hard to be invisible in a wheelchair, or using crutches. I felt like nobody saw me anymore but then I didn’t know who I wanted them to see.

I didn’t know who I was. I felt sad. Lonely. Afraid. But worse than that was the feeling I’d failed my children. I longed for the days we’d go for dog walks, cycle rides, play football in the garden.

My business folded and we had to move house and I struggled to find someone who would employ me.

At a loss with how to fill my time I started to write. As a child I’d always wanted to be an author and although it had been years since I’d written, my passion came

flooding back. I found myself absorbed in the story of two best friends, Grace and Charlie. Charlie dies leaving behind a note, ‘I’ve done something terrible Grace, please forgive me’ and Grace sets out to discover the mystery behind Charlie’s last words. Soon I was waking in the middle of the night, but it wasn’t only pain that had woken me, it was ideas for plot twists. I fell utterly in love with Grace and Charlie and the more I wrote, the more my blackness lifted and my love of life returned.

My children had their mum back.

I never had big dreams or ambitions but after I’d finished my story a friend persuaded me to submit it and to my delight I was offered a book deal. The Sister was published last July and soon became a No. 1 Bestseller on Amazon. To date it has sold over half a million copies, was nominated for the Goodreads Debut of 2016 Award and has also been longlisted for the Crime Writers’ Association Dagger Awards which will take place later this year.

My second novel, The Gift, is the story of Jenna who after receiving a heart transplant has strange dreams and memories and becomes convinced her donor didn’t really die in an accident. The Gift was published in December and was also a No.1 Bestseller.

Being an author is incredibly hard work, not only the writing, but the marketing and the research. Suffering from chronic pain means I get very tired and like any other working mum it can be a juggling act but I feel incredibly grateful every day that I’ve managed to turn my hobby into a career. More important than the sales and awards though was the look of pride on my children’s faces at my book launch. It’s been a tough ten years but life has a way of turning round when you least expect it and I finally feel excited about the future again.

By Louise Jensen 25 / JUN 2017 / ISSUE 03

Switch off the auto pilot...

By TONI MACKENZIE

the SMEAR OF LIFE

www.innerdepths.co.uk

by Alex Sullivan PG Dip (SCPHN), RM BSc (Hons), RN Dip HE

I

spend a great deal of my day-to-day professional career reacting to incidents and “fire fighting” due to people making choices that result in ill health and wellbeing.

We live in an increasingly reactive society, where it is progressively more difficult to hold back the “I told you so” finger wagging. However, in order for people to take their health and wellbeing seriously and to make the appropriate changes, it is necessary for people to want to make changes and to have confidence that they’ll be able to do it. Part of the process of creating change is to provide the public with the relevant information in an accessible and inclusive manner, in order to instil a sense of assurance and self-reliance. One of the ways this is achieved is through providing information around public health issues and then providing them with a solution on how to protect themselves.

There are a variety of screening programmes available to both men and women of varying ages dependant on what health issue is being monitored and diagnosed. Cervical screening (previously known as a smear test) is the method used to detect abnormal cells on the cervix.

This screening starts being offered to women from the age of 25 years on the following schedule: •25-49 years: Every 3 years •50-64 years: Every 5 years •Over 65 years: only women who haven’t been screened since age 50 or those who have recently had abnormal tests

So why have cervical screening?

For the simple reason that early detection of abnormal cells which, if left untreated, could potentially become cancerous. Some cells return to normal on their own, therefore a watch and wait approach could be prescribed with a planned follow up screening. Anything more significant tends to be removed before it reaches cancerous stages.

How do I know when I have to have a cervical screen?

You will receive a letter letting you know that it is time for you to have a cervical screen and where you need to make your appointment. Most of the time, you’ll be invited to make the appointment with your GP surgery, but you can also access screening at well woman and sexual health clinics.

What does a cervical screen involve?

A doctor or a nurse will ask you to undress from the waist down and then ask you to lie on a couch. It is possible to remain fully clothed if you are wearing a loose skirt.

An instrument called a speculum will be inserted into your vagina, which you may find embarrassing or a bit uncomfortable, but if you feel any pain, tell the practitioner and they will attempt to make you more comfortable. The speculum is designed to hold the vagina open and allow the cervix to become visible. A small brush is then inserted into the vagina and this is used to collect the cells from the cervix.

Samples are sent off to a laboratory and you should receive your results within 2 weeks.

Around 3000 cases of cervical cancer are detected in the UK each year. Around 1 in 20 women will have abnormal results, but this does not necessarily mean cancer, as I wrote about earlier. Since the introduction of cervical screening in the 1980’s, the number of cervical cancer cases has reduced by 7% PER YEAR. If you have had your letter and are ignoring it out of fear, uncertainty or because you just don’t believe you need it, take some action to PREVENT ill health.

Contact your screening provider and talk through any anxieties or questions you may have. Or log on to NHS Choices for more information about cervical screening.

I

f you’ve been following my column so far you’ll already be aware, from issue one, of the ‘inner critic’ living inside your head and how to begin to control it with the ‘Thought Stopping Exercise’. In issue 2, you’ll have learned that we are not born with any fears or anxieties – apart from loud noises and falling – but the negative messages that are passed onto us during childhood, programme our minds and lead us to develop limiting beliefs.

These beliefs cause us to hold back, doubt ourselves, compare ourselves to others, and develop feelings of not being good enough; our subconscious inner dialogue is created and then continues to reinforce these feelings. Once you realise that you’ve been operating on ‘autopilot’ all these years, it’s time to switch it off, create a new flight plan and change direction so your life can go where you want it to – onwards and upwards!

The words that you say to yourself are the most powerful words you hear, so it makes sense to be sure that those words are positive, affirming ones. In the words of Henry Ford,

Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you are right.

So, having become aware of and silenced your inner critic, the next step is to replace it with an inner friend who loves you unconditionally and tells you throughout the day how worthy, loveable and capable you are, by repeating positive affirmations.

Now, when you first start to use affirmations, you may well find (or have found in the past) that the positive words you say to yourself are hard to accept – especially after all the years spent doing just the opposite. If you’ve been feeling inferior, a failure, or unlovable for most of your life, suddenly saying things like “I’m amazing”, “I can achieve whatever I put my mind to” or “I love myself just as I am” – wonderfully positive statements though they are – they’re just not going to cut it!

It’s much easier to accept positive suggestions when you preceed them with the words “I choose”, for example, “I choose to know that I’m amazing”, “I choose to believe I can achieve whatever I put my mind to”, “I choose to love myself unconditionally”. Provided they’re things that you do choose to think, feel, believe or know, then you’re speaking the truth and your mind will be open to accepting those statements. There’s also something very empowering about saying “I choose”. You’re telling yourself that you are taking control and giving yourself permission to make positive choices and changes.

It’s important to always state your affirmations in positive terms, saying what you want, rather than saying what you don’t want. When you say things like I don’t want to fail or I don’t want to feel nervous, your mind doesn’t pick up on the don’t, it just processes fail, or feel nervous. What you put your attention on becomes bigger and stronger so it’s important to focus on what you want, not what you don’t want.

Create some affirmations that feel right for you and start using them straight away. Repeat them to yourself throughout the day as often as possible and when you’re in a private place try saying them aloud and with feeling so that they’re more believable. The more often you repeat them, the sooner they’ll become embedded into your subconscious mind and the sooner you’ll start to value, respect and ultimately love yourself.

Remember the acronym F.L.Y. from issue one? First Love Yourself. Until you learn to do that, it’s very difficult to attract value, respect or love from anyone else.

Toni Mackenzie is the author of the best-selling self-help book Your Flight to Happiness: A 7-Step Journey to Emotional Freedom, available to buy from Amazon at http://bit.ly/yourflighttohappiness. Toni is a Clinical Hypnotherapist and a Mindset-Coach working with people to help them change the way they feel by changing the way they think.

ISSUE 03 / JUN 2017 / 26

27 / JUN 2017 / ISSUE 03

BEHAVIOUR ISSUES children & teens

By Jaspreet k heer

Have you ever felt overwhelmed, inadequate, lost and simply ready to give up? Do not despair... you are not alone.

M

ost parents today have hectic lifestyles and coming home to a child who is screaming, shouting and just simply not listening is the last thing you want.

All these behavioural issues can be addressed and resolved if first we understand why your child is “acting out”.

Common causes of behaviour issues: 1. Attention seeking 2. Tiredness 3. Hunger 4. Sickness 5. Change in routine 6. Struggle to communicate 7. Sensory issues 8. Home life 9. Environment

Why does my child react the way they do?

To break this down into simple terms, we haven’t taught our children to react any differently, and in some cases we have even taught them to scream, shout and spit.

You may be thinking, I have never told my child to react in such a way knowingly, but by giving attention at the incorrect time, you have enforced this behaviour.

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ISSUE 02 / APR 2017 / 28

When your child acts out, how do you respond? Do you scream back, send them to their room with no explanation or act in a passive aggressive manner? It’s common for us to turn any behaviour issues into a power struggle, for example, by shouting back. When your child has responded in this manner, we need to ask ourself, what are they trying to communicate? It is your role as a parent to teach your child how to communicate clearly.

Respect your child’s feelings and manage their expectations. You as a parent or teacher have to instil behaviour patterns in children.

Positive response methods You need to acknowledge your specific responses to behaviour patterns. Ask yourself a question...are you giving your child positive reinforcement when it’s due?

We are all guilty of ignoring this but it is a key part of teaching your child right from wrong. You may think it demeaning to congratulate your child for eating all of their dinner or to congratulate them for listening to an instruction. However, positive enforcement is vital and the following processes will be important lessons concerning positive attention seeking behaviours at the right time.

Negative response methods We forget to praise our children but can be quick to shout when they act out. What message is being presented to your child when we react in such a manner?

From the child’s point of view, if I shout, scream or spit, I get noticed. However, should I be doing something positive, no one takes notice of me.

My 10 years of experience analysing these behaviours have proven that ignoring negative behaviours and not providing the child with an audience, prompts the child to think: this action is not giving me the response I desire. Although this can become overwhelming and stressful to ignore, we must be patient, consistent and do it with conviction.

Jaspreet’s Positive behavioural techniques: Stage 1: Understanding Why is the child acting out? If this is due to an issue that can easily be resolved, eg the child is feeling hungry, tired or wanting a hug, then at this point you may provide what they require, but also explain to the child the importance of communicating their issues with calm and constructive words. If this is not the case, move to stage 2.

Stage 2: Explain Explain to your child what they have done, why they shouldn’t do it and how they should communicate their needs effectively.

Stage 3: Warn Set boundaries,tell your child it is not acceptable behaviour and if the child persists, there will be a consequence (this must be a meaningful and motivating consequence). This consequence should be something the child does not want to happen (i.e. time-out, no game machine or iPad). When doing this, it is very important to set adequate time scales that are age appropriate.

For example, if the child is 3 years old, it is suitable to put the child in time-out for 3 minutes.

Stage 4: Consistency If you do not follow through and stick to what you say, the child will not trust or believe you for future episodes. The most important part of parenting is spending quality time with your children. Above all else it is our human nature to desire love and affection from the people we care most about.

29 / JUN 2017 / ISSUE 03

food By simon smith

www.simonsmith-chef.com

Al Fresco Dining

For this issue I have, of course, added another couple of puds after the trouble I was in previously.

This BBQ season is nearly upon us when the gentlemen of the house can be seen parading outside wearing outrageous aprons depicting nude statues of Greek gods whilst downing copious amounts of wine and tinned alcohol. For this I have given you a lovely lamb recipe but this can be substituted with chicken mince or beef mince if you prefer. If you wanted an Asian flavour replace the ras al hanout, baharat and dates with garlic, lemon zest, chilli, and ginger.

Remember if you BBQ fish to put it on some tin foil first or a fish cage to stop it falling through the gaps and taking an age to clean. If you are using a charcoal BBQ it’s always nice to put some sprigs of fresh herbs on the coals (soak them in water first) this will give a great smell while you are cooking. Keep a water spray near so that you can dampen the coals down if you get a flareup.

If you are looking to have a dinner party at home I provide a full service with staff and washing up included so do get in touch. I also do one to one cookery skills days for those who want to expand their repertoire.

PAN FRIED SEA BASS WITH A MANGO AND RED ONION SALSA 4x Sea bass fillets 1x Lime 1oz Butter Flour to dust Olive oil

Mango Salsa 1x Mango 1x Red onion 3x Tomatoes 1x Chilli 1tbsp Fresh coriander 1x lemon juice and zest

Method •Lightly dust the sea bass fillets in a little flour and seasoning •Fry in heated olive oil and butter for 1 minute on either side •Squeeze fresh lime juice over to serve and lay on a bed of salsa For the salsa •Take the seeds out of the tomato and finely dice.

•Finely dice the mango and red onion, chop the chilli.

•Mix all together and add the zest and juice of the lemon

MORROCAN LAMB KEBAB 800gms Lean lamb mince 1x Finely diced red onion 4x Chopped, pitted, fresh dates 6ozs Toasted flaked almonds 1tsp Ras al hanout 1tsp Baharat 1tsp Finely chopped fresh rosemary 8ozs Thick yoghurt Seeds from 1 Pomegranate Finely chopped fresh mint Salt and pepper 1x Lemon juice and zest

Method •Mix the lamb mince, chopped red onion, dates, ras al hanout, baharat, almonds and season with salt and pepper •Mix together by hand until well bound and evenly distributed •Form as a kebab onto a rosemary stalk •Either pop into the oven to roast for 10 minutes on 180 degrees or cook on the BBQ •Mix the yoghurt with fresh mint and pomegranate seeds to serve as an accompaniment ISSUE 03 / JUN 2017 / 30

PANCAKES WITH STRAWBERRIES IN GRAND MARNIER

2x ¼ 1tsp 3ozs 3ozs 4tbsp 10ozs

Pancakes per person Double cream Pink peppercorns (available from Waitrose) Unsalted butter Sugar Grand Marnier or Cointreau Strawberries

Method •Crush half the peppercorns and add to the butter in a pan.

•Add the sugar and heat on a low flame. Add the Grand Marnier and set alight.

•Add the strawberries and sautée until hot.

•Add the double cream and heat.

•Pour the mixture over the warm pancakes.

SUMMER BERRY CHEESECAKE

2 Punnets mixed berries 4oz Sugar 1 Shot cassis or other liqueur 10ozs Philadelphia cheese 1/2pt Double cream 8 Hob nob biscuits 2ozs Butter Dash vanilla essence

Method •Put the berries and 2 ozs of the sugar in a pan with the shot of cassis and simmer for 2 minutes.

•Allow to cool •Put the cream cheese and double cream in a bowl and mix until well combined, add 2ozs sugar and vanilla essence.

Mix well.

•Crush the biscuits and add 2ozs of melted butter, mix well.

•Place the fruits evenly in the bottom of four glasses. Pipe on the cheese mixture and flatten.

•Add the biscuit mixture.

•Allow to set in a fridge for an hour before serving.

The weird World of a Private Chef

The weird world of the private chef and working to the quirks of the super rich can be an eye opener.

In St Tropez where I work regularly I have had customers hire Bridget Bardot’s old Porsche to sit on the drive for a week at 1,500 Euros a day just so they can look at it. Finger sandwiches sent back as they had been cut into triangles instead of fingers as per the rider ( I re-read it after that to make sure nothing else had been missed).

After serving breakfast to one family I went shopping 15 miles away only to be phoned when I got there to come back and serve a biscuit to the child as the lady could not reach the cupboard.

On another occasion I had been working at a villa for a week and a large flatbed truck full of mature shrubs pulled up.

I told the lady of the house and she said, ‘Oh yes that’s for dinner’. 'Strange,' I said. 'I have sea bass.' She smiled and told me that the guests coming that evening had already been for dinner and seen the garden so she was having it changed.

Another private chef I met told me that he arrived at a property only to see the gentleman of the house outside with his suitcase. ‘ Have you just arrived as well?’ 'No,' replied the gent, ‘we are just leaving’ 'Oh dear have I got the wrong date then?’ said the chef. He was assured he had not as he would be cooking for the dog while the owners were away and they had left the recipe in the kitchen.

Many other stories I cannot tell as I have signed confidentiality agreements. You will just have to believe that whilst in many cases it’s very glamorous in certain instances it’s just completely bizarre.

31 / JUN 2017 / ISSUE 03

Top tips for a last minute getaway Believe it or not, I’m already booking holidays for clients through to the end of 2018! Gone are the days of grabbing a last minute bargain and more and more people are booking their holidays well in advance. Booking early means you get the exact dates you want with the best prices and availability and you can usually book just by paying a low deposit. However, for various reasons it isn’t always possible to sort out your holiday a year in advance so here’s some advice to make sure you still get a great holiday even when booking at the last minute.

Destination – if you’ve left it until late, particularly in school holidays, popular destinations may have sold out so be prepared to consider alternative places. How about Croatia rather than Italy? Or Malta rather than Majorca? Or have a look at long haul rather than short haul. Prices have risen significantly in Europe over the last 12 months and so it can be better value for money to look at somewhere further afield. For winter sun take a look at Dubai or Abu Dhabi as an alternative to the Canaries or in the summer try Sri Lanka or Thailand.

Or take a look at an alternative type of holiday, cruises sometimes drop in price closer to departure dates if there are cabins to fill and tours or adventure holidays may offer discounts if they have a small number of places left.

Holiday Duration – Most people go away for 7, 10 or 14 days so be different! You’ll probably find better availability for flights and hotels going away for a more unusual duration.

TRAVEL

Be flexible! – Whether it’s with your dates or your destination you may need to be flexible when planning a last minute holiday. Popular hotels and destination do get booked up very early – I’m already struggling to get availability for clients for some hotels for summer 2018.

Flexibility can also help when looking at room types and board basis. Don’t rule out self catering or half board as these can sometimes work out better value for money even if you eat out for most meals.

Multi-centre holidays – If you can’t get availability at your chosen hotel for the full 2 weeks try a twin or multi-centre holiday with 2 or three hotels. You can also fly into one airport and out of another with most airlines. Just watch out for expensive one way fees with car hire in some destinations.

Flights - A big part of the cost of your holiday can be the flight and the pricing structure often means the last few seats are significantly more expensive than those sold as soon as they are released. To keep costs down, consider flying from an alternative airport – try Liverpool, Birmingham or East Midlands rather than Manchester. Or a different arrival airport – consider Murcia rather than Alicante for Costa Blanca or Newark rather than JFK for New York. And flights in the middle of the week are usually cheaper and have more availability than flights at the weekend. Also, look at the cost of upgrading your flight - it can sometimes be cheaper to fly Premium Economy than Economy at peak times. If all else fails, consider travelling by ferry or train – both of which can be a more relaxing and enjoyable experience even if they take a little longer.

And finally, speak to an Independent Travel Agent who has access to the largest range of flights, accommodation and cruises as well as specialist tours and holidays. For more advice on planning your next holiday just get in touch!

By AMANDA RUDHAM www.travelcounsellors.com/amanda.rudham

BARLOW’S book reviewS

Happiness Mantra

Welcome to this issue’s book column by me, Christie Barlow! As summer is upon us I ask you the question, what makes a really great beach read? A handsome hero? A gripping thriller or a heart-breaking historical fiction that will have you sobbing into your sunbed? I love my holidays, it gives me quality time to top up my tan while galloping through a handful of books soaking up numerous plot lines and discovering new authors. Today, I’m bringing you three of the best summer reads that are a must for your beach bag or Kindle!

Follow me on Twitter @ChristieJBarlow

By JO HOWARTH

www.thehappinessclub.co.uk

Hello folks, hope you’re enjoying a lovely day.

I caught up with an old friend recently, it was lovely to see her but she spent a good amount of our time together telling me about all the things her husband doesn’t do. He doesn’t clean up after himself very often, he doesn’t do the washing, he doesn’t do the ironing, he doesn’t hoover, he doesn’t do the dishwasher as much as she would like him to, he doesn’t tidy things away in the way she does, he doesn’t buy her flowers, he doesn’t like doing some of the things she enjoys, etc. It was quite a long list of things he doesn’t do and they all irritated her.

After a while, I asked her what he DOES do. She was stumped. She had a think for a few minutes and then said,

“Well, he does play with the children, he does do the cooking a lot, he does do the bins more than me, and he does look after the finances...actually there’s quite a lot he does do.”

The sunshine and biscotti club jenny oliver

I suggested to her that she started to focus her attention on the things he does do. We all have our own particular strengths and interests, we all have things we are more drawn to doing. Expecting someone else to do the things YOU want them to and then judging them for not doing them, is a tad unfair.

Today, make an effort to appreciate the things that the people around you DO instead of getting irritated by the things they don’t.

It just feels better.

the butlins girls elaine everest

I’m Jo Howarth. I am a speaker, author and founder of the Happiness Club. I teach people how to be happy.

coming home to cuckoo cottage heidi swain

I believe that happiness is a simple choice, one that we are all capable of making. My Happiness Club helps people to make that choice each and every single day.

“Being a member of The Happiness Club is a fantastic way to help you be happier with your life.”

“If everyone was a member of this club, the world would be a much happier place” “Jo puts life back into perspective.”

To find out about my books and purchase your copies visit: www.GladToBeDan.co.uk www.GetHappyBook.co.uk

If you would like a 1 month free trial of the club please contact me: jo@thehappinessclub.co.uk or visit my website www.thehappinessclub.co.uk ISSUE 03 / JUN 2017 / 34

First of all can we just take a look at the cover … this oozes gorgeousness! I knew the second I set eyes on it I just had to read it. What’s even better, the minute I opened the book I was transported to Tuscany, the ovens were pre-heating, the prosecco was chilling and I wanted to visit Hotel Limoncello.The story alternates between three leading ladies. Libby Price, food blogger and owner of Hotel Limoncello. This was her life’s dream, with only a few weeks to go until the renovations are finished her life is Instagram perfect, until she catches her husband cheating. With the husband now out of the picture she calls upon her friends from her university days to help to get everything ready. Eve, is mum to twins, her marriage to Peter isn’t working. A trip to Italy to help Libby open The Sunshine and Biscotti Club might be the perfect escape. Then there is Jessica, who has thrown herself into her work to shut out the memory of the man who never loved her back. Even though the three friends have been separated for years, it doesn’t take long for their true friendships to shine once more. This is a warm-hearted and cosy tale. The story kept me interested all the way through. I especially enjoyed the scenes where they created recipes for the Sunshine and Biscotti Club! They were mouth-wateringly good and I found myself wanting to bake biscotti!

This is the perfect summer romance. It captures dreams, friendship and goals in an awe-inspiring way. The writing is exquisite, the characters adorable and the plot engaging. It was a pure joy to read and left me filled with happiness.

In Elaine Everest’s book The Butlins Girls we are introduced to Molly Missons who I absolutely adored from the outset! With a world still recovering from the war, the tragic death of her parents and some long-lost relatives trying to steal her livelihood, Molly applies for a job at the holiday camp Butlins in Skegness.

This story is focused around genuine friendship and the wonderful characters that Everest creates utterly swept me away with this story and I couldn’t put the book down.

Freda, Bunty and Plum each have their own heartbreaks which is woven into the main plot so successfully that I found all the characters believable and myself completely immersed in their individual stories. I wanted to work at Butlins and be in their gang! Enter Johnny Johnson into the equation, Molly’s crush, star of the silver screen and things begIn to get even more interesting.

Overall, it was the perfect story with characters you can’t help but love. Molly’s friendships and relationships with the people she holds close to her heart are delved into beautifully. The plot itself was full of surprises, great friendships and love. I felt bereft when I finished reading. A truly charming heart-warming book that didn’t disappoint.

If it’s cosy heart-warming reads you adore, full of village life, idyllic scenery, and utterly adorable characters then Coming Home to Cuckoo Cottage by Heidi Swain is the book for you!

Firstly we are introduced to Lottie Foster, a gorgeous character and when her grandmother’s best friend dies she leaves Lottie her home, Cuckoo Cottage, with one stipulation, she must live there for at least a year. After moving in, and making an unexpected discovery in one of the barns of vintage caravans, a business idea begins to bubble away.

Everything was going swimmingly until she meets Matt, a charming local builder who points out that beneath the charm Cuckoo Cottage is falling apart and needs money spending on it, money Lottie just doesn’t have. Then throw handsome neighbour ex-army vet Will into the mix and what could possibly go wrong?

But before she can finally enjoy living with her legacy she must uncover who she can trust, and who to avoid at all costs! And with two men vying for her attention, can she find love in her new home…?

Over all, expect humorous moments, romantic confusion, learning curves and chickens – such a winning formula! So pull on those wellies and head for Wynbridge to enjoy this delicious heart-warming rom-com with that extra special something.

A story that captures life perfectly as well as your heart.

35 / JUN 2017 / ISSUE 03

what’s your story?

Becoming a self-published author

W

By SUSAN MILLER

e’ve been discussing in Mama Life how you can self-publish your book through CreateSpace and its printon-demand services. It really is possible for you to publish your book yourself and it not cost a lot of money. So many of my authors tell me about the thrill they get when their book arrives in the post – a physical book with THEIR name on it! What an achievement to be proud of.

Let’s look at the timeline for self-publishing. As a rule of thumb, I suggest you allow 3 to 4 months from when you’ve finished your final draft to when your book is published on Amazon.

Once you’ve finished your final draft, it’s time to send it to your editor/proof-reader. They will make the essential fixes to grammar, spelling and flow. While this is happening, you can be getting your cover done. Your cover is an ESSENTIAL element – it’s the first thing people see when they look at a book. Will it grab them? I suggest you look at other books in the same genre as yours. What covers do you like? What draws you in?

You can have an illustration, a graphic, a photograph – talented designers can create what you envisage.

It’s good to have your cover done fairly early in the process because you can use that to market your book.

It can be the image for your Facebook Page, your Twitter and your website. If you don’t already have any of these things set up – now is the time to do it. The earlier you start promoting your book, the more followers you’ll have when it’s time to publish. Like it or hate it – Social Media is a crucial marketing tool for authors.

In the 3 months leading up to publication day, you will be looking at potential venues for your book launch or book signing. You can have more than one – especially if the theme of your book is varied. Children’s authors often have lots of different options for book launches. Where do parents with children hang out?

Libraries, play-barns, child-friendly cafés, independent book shops, summer fairs, Christmas fairs…there is an endless list. Think about the audience you are trying to reach and have a book stall at the events they attend.

Offer to speak at the local Women’s Institute, networking events, conferences. Remember – think about your readers. Who are they and where are they?

Another tip I suggest is tapping into a ‘national event’.

For example, go to the website www.awarenessdays. com - there you will find listed every event that has a day or week or even month attached to it. Why is this useful? Because you can tag on to the news that is al-

ready being generated for that topic. Using hashtags on Twitter or stories in the local press…you might even find somewhere local that is having an event and your book will fit in nicely with them. It could be general – such as ‘National Share a Story Month’ or more specific such as ‘International Cat Day’ (if your book is about cats!)

Independent bookshops in your area are good sources of support. ‘Most’ of them like to support local authors and will be happy to help you put on a book launch.

They will keep some of the profits from your book sales, but it is more about getting your name out there and letting people know about you as an author. That’s why I suggest it is important for you to have a website. That is one place that people can go to find out more about you and your book(s). You can have an ‘About the Author’ section, links to buy your book(s) from Amazon, reviews, your blog and a place where you can talk about your ‘next’ book. Your other platforms, such as your Facebook Page, should all be linked to your website. This is the core. Think of your author website as the centre of a wheel and the spokes from this wheel are Facebook, Twitter, Blog, Instagram, Amazon, etc.

Rather than having business cards done, why not think about having bookmarks to hand out? They can have your book cover on them, as well as all the essential information on how to find you. Your website, Facebook page, Twitter address…even the web link to your book on Amazon. They are colourful and a perfect item to handout when you are at events, bookshops or networking. I think in general, people are less likely to throw out a bookmark than a business card.

As your publication date draws nearer, you will have all of your platforms in place. You will be sharing bits about your book and your process of becoming an author, sharing your cover, sharing an Event link that you’ve created from your Facebook page for your book launch and sent out a couple of press releases. Be subtle on Social Media and people will engage and become interested in your book without you telling them to buy it.

Remember – a picture tells a thousand words.

And finally…ENJOY it! You have become an author. Well done!

Susan Miller is the founder of TeamAuthorUK – the friendly and affordable self-publishing service. Her team can help with all aspects of self-publishing from editing, cover design, illustrations, CreateSpace, websites, social media training, marketing and PR. www.teamauthoruk.co.uk

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the beta mum isabella davidson When Sophie Bennett moves from a quiet, sleepy suburb of Toronto to glitzy west London, she doesn’t know where she has landed: Venus or Mars. Her three-year-old daughter Kaya attends Cherry Blossoms, the most exclusive nursery in London, where Sophie finds herself adrift in a sea of Alpha mums. These mothers are glamorous, gorgeous, competitive and super rich, especially Kelly, the blonde, beautiful and bitchy class rep.

Struggling to fit in and feeling increasingly isolated, Sophie starts The Beta Mum, an anonymous blog describing her struggles with the Alpha mums. But when her blog goes viral, she risks ruining everything for herself and her daughter. How long will it be until they discover her true identity? Is her marriage strong enough to survive one of her follower’s advances? And will she ever fit in with the Alpha mums? http://amzn.to/2qnrP6B ‘...Intelligent, thought-provoking fiction that you want to keep reading... I completely bought into Sophie. I wanted to give her a hug. It’s a couple of days since I finished the book, but I keep wondering how she’s getting on. She’s not alone though - all the characters come off the page and into your life. It’s a great story too: I read it in a couple of sittings. It would have been one, but work was particularly demanding!’ Sue Magee, The Book Bag www.nottinghillyummymummy.com

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ISSUE 03 / JUN 2017 / 36

37 / JUN 2017 / ISSUE 03

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As well as being a makeup artist I am also a proud mum to Oakley James Shakespeare, a son full of personality and character. Recently, after a romantic proposal in Paris I am now engaged to my fiancé, my wonderful partner James.

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My journey as a makeup artist began working in department stores, starting with Biotherm and Clinique and then going onto my favourite brand Giorgio Armani. I worked for Giorgio Armani for 10 great years, starting as a retail artist and working up to a senior makeup artist. This gave me the opportunity to work backstage and amongst some very talented people, who have helped me develop my skills as a makeup artist. My most memorable experiences have included working alongside Linda Cantello and being chosen to do Lilly Cole`s makeup at a charity event.

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My recognition continues to grow with some great achievements including the best makeup artist for Staffordshire in 2016 and again in 2017.

However, being asked to write this column has been one of my proudest moments, sharing my knowledge and experiences to help women feel better about themselves is such a rewarding opportunity and one I am cherishing. I would like to thank everyone who has supported me throughout my journey, which I believe, has only just started.

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ISSUE 03 / JUN 2017 / 39

Is SNAPCHAT any better than facebook for youR child?

By JAN KIERMASZ

www.johnjelly.co.uk

Is This Your Dream Home? let it be Possible

@LetItBeProperty facebook.com/LetItBeProperty

01543 547 548

W: www.letitbeproperties.com E: info@letitbeproperties.com

mama life

Certainly one of the most popular Social Media platforms right now among young teens to twenty somethings is Snapchat. In some ways this is preferable to Facebook as it’s much harder to randomly add ‘friends’. My daughter certainly uses this much more than Facebook and sometimes it concerns me that it’s much harder for me to know what she is doing.

I’m happier that she isn’t connected to random strangers but since photos/videos last a brief 10 seconds (unless a screenshot is taken) I can’t see the images she is sharing. We have a level of trust that she isn’t sharing inappropriate images of herself or others – she has too much self-respect for that.

We had, and continue to have, conversations about what is and isn’t appropriate and why. In her words:

‘you don’t send anything you wouldn’t show to your parents or grandparents’.

XX

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01283 533 888

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For those unfamiliar with Snapchat here is a quick summary. A user takes photos/videos and shares them with a friend (or occasionally a group of friends). They can add text, filters and stickers to the image to make it unique. Messages last 10 seconds but a screenshot (save) can be taken which preserves the message indefinitely. The friend then responds in the same way building up a conversation. You also have ‘stories’ that act more like a temporary Facebook status. These can be viewed multiple times within a 24 hour period, after which they disappear.

Sadly Snapchat, due to its fleeting nature, has become a hub for cyber bullying. Nasty messages sent to teens designed to upset or intimidate disappear, leaving no trace unless the victim takes a screenshot. But keeping this as evidence can inflame the situation as the bully knows the victim has taken a screenshot. It’s a difficult situation for a teen to deal with. Encourage them to talk to you about it.

I don’t have enough room here to go over all the settings in Snapchat but here are some key points to help protect your children: • Ensure the username is suitable – you can’t change this once the account is set up. Somebody must enter the exact username to get connected on Snapchat. (Your ‘Name’ is what your friends see – ‘Username’ is different).

• In your ‘Who Can’ section you should set ‘Contact Me’ and ‘View my story’ to ‘friends only’ and ‘see me in quick add’ to off.

• You should block or delete anyone you don’t know in real-life, this includes friends of friends.

Since this is an ‘App’ your kids load onto their phone you may find they’re already using it. Like Facebook there is an age restriction in place of 13 years and if a child under 13 enters an accurate birth date they will be redirected to the kid’s version, Snapkidz. Most kids won’t want to be on the kid’s version but rather be a part of the adult world. You will have the same issues you get on Facebook with younger kids lying about their age. If they obey the rules about not adding people they don’t know then at least the ‘stranger’ issue is mitigated.

So in summary is Snapchat any better for your kids than Facebook? In some respects I think it is but if you don’t have a level of trust with your children then you may consider the lack of visibility of what they share makes it a poorer choice for you. You know your child.

I hope we have given you enough of an insight into Snapchat to make an informed decision about it.

ISSUE 03 / JUN 2017 / 41

PENSIONS

MONEY

BY jenny bracelin

Trusted financial advisers

Working with you to review your pension(s) and evaluate your options so you can look forward to your retirement. We will also look at how your pension pot can form part of a legacy for your family.

Please contact us to arrange an initial meeting at our expense.

Call: 01543 571238 or email: info@wealthdesign.co.uk

www.jennybracelin.co.uk

It’s time to change your view on pensions.

There have been lots of changes to pensions in the last few years and it is time to look at them, with a fresh perspective.

Think of them as a tax free jar to put your favourite sweets in. Instead of fruit bon bons, fudge and jelly beans. You have the state pension, ISA Savings, private pensions, work pensions, property, investments and even that retirement business you’re planning. No longer are you compelled to invest your money in risky funds with dodgy pension advisers!

The situation now is more regulation for the advisers and more freedom for you. Want to put your money somewhere safe? No problem. Want to buy property and use the pension tax free wrapper? You can do that.

Want to sort it out yourself? Go for it.

Want an expert on pensions to do it for you? Do it, you can even check out what their customers say about them online.

Explaining pensions to a 6-year-old is what focused my mind.

“A pension is when you have saved up enough money; you don’t have to go to work anymore.”

His response “my parents need pensions”.

My thoughts exactly!.

So why do we put it off?

Well here is a list of some of the pensions available at the moment, with the briefest possible descriptions, to just give you an idea of what they are.

•State Pension (This is from your National Insurance Contributions) •Stakeholder Pension (A simple, cost effective starter pension) •Additional Voluntary Contributions (Additional payments to some pensions) •Company/Work Pension (A pension via work, they will likely contribute too) •Money Purchase Pension (The replacement to the final salary pension)

Wealth Design Ltd, Lagonda Suite, Virage Point, Green Lane, Cannock, WS11 0NH Telephone: 01543 571238 Email: info@wealthdesign.co.uk Web: www.wealthdesign.co.uk

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•Self-Invested Personal Pension (SIPP) (A DIY option including commercial property)

All Pensions apart from the State Pension will ask you 3 questions: 1. How much risk do you want to take, from 1 Low to 5 High?

2. Location of investments made? For example, UK, Europe, Far East etc.

3. Do you have any preference of the type of investments or funds? Bonds, Unit Trusts along with preferences of industries, like mining or technology.

The bad news is there isn’t a right answer to those questions. Only what’s right for you, depending on your age, expectations and the world markets.

Many, many people in finance spend their careers trying to answer them correctly. Traditional wisdom says to start with high risk, which has the most chance of growing, while you’re young and can afford losses. Moving to lower risk options, 10 years or so before retirement, but it really does depend on your personality and your financial situation. Be wary if it sounds too good to be true.

All good advisers will ask you to complete a risk assessment before recommending what to invest your money in and will explain the pros and cons of your preferred choices.

So how do we motivate ourselves to save for the longer term?

Do an experiment.

For 1 week, live, including money for bills on £150. £150 is the likely state pension, provided you have paid your National Insurance.

Right now you can back pay National Insurance for up to 7 years. Let them know if you have been caring for children or elderly relatives and they may credit you for those years as well.

What to do next?

1. www.gov.uk for a National Insurance statement to see what you have paid so far and whether you already have your caring credits.

2. Increase or start your standing order to an ISA, to build up your long term savings.

3. Think about how you will thrive in your later years?

4. Tackle that pension paperwork you have been putting off – for motivation, see above or ask for help.

5. Take steps towards setting up a new sweet in your jar.

Some pensions start from £20 a month, allow lump sum payments and breaks.

To create a new story about money, book an appointment with Jenny Bracelin, Business and Money Coach at www.jennybracelin.co.uk ISSUE 03 / JUN 2017 / 43

JULY / AUGUST JUNE

Ladies Night at Uttoxeter Racecourse Thu 15 Jun 2017- 4:00 pm onwards Wood Lane, Uttoxeter, ST14 8BD 01889 562561 Ladies Night at Uttoxeter Racecourse is the highlight of the Staffordshire social calendar and one not to be missed.

With prizes for ‘Best Dressed’ and ‘Best Hat’ awarded, it’s the perfect opportunity to showcase your favourite outfit for the chance to win fantastic prizes.

Ladies Night is an ever popular fixtures at the Racecourse and it’s no surprise; it’s the perfect summer evening of sheer indulgence, sipping Pimms and celebrating with champagne.

The party will go on well in to the night with a DJ set after racing! www.uttoxeter-racecourse.co.uk/whats-on/fixture/15thjune-2017/

Pirates of the Maize Maze Sat 15 Jul - Mon 4 Sep 2017 National Forest Adventure Farm, Postern Road, Tatenhill, Burton upon Trent, Staffordshire, DE13 9SJ tel: 01283 533933 www.adventurefarm.co.uk Armed Forces Day 2017 Sat 24 Jun 2017 - 09:00 to 17:00 National Memorial Arboretum, Croxall Road, Alrewas, Burton upon Trent, Staffordshire, DE13 7AR. Tel 01283 245100 www.thenma.org.uk

With activities for the whole family visit the National Memorial Arboretum to show your support for HM Armed Forces on Armed Forces Day 2017.

JULY

Lichfield Festival 2017 Fri 7 - Sat 15 Jul 2017 Lichfield Festival, Lichfield, Staffordshire, WS13 7LD Tel: 01543 412121 www.lichfieldfestival.org

The Lichfield Festival brings the best national and international artists and performers to the West Midlands each year for a summer celebration of classical music, dance, drama, film, jazz, literature, poetry, visual arts and world music.

International Model Air Show at Weston Park Date: Fri 16 - Sun 18 Jun 2017 Weston-under-Lizard,Nr. Shifnal,Shropshire,TF11 8LE

01952 587298

Model aircraft enthusiasts from all the over the UK and Europe will take to the skies to demonstrate their awesome flying skills in the Park.

Please visit www.westonparkmodelairshow.co.uk/

ISSUE 03 / JUN 2017 / 44

Take on the acre Maize Maze and set sail on a treasure hunting adventure through our 10 acre maize maze!

Camper Jam at Weston Park Sat 8 - Sun 9 Jul 2017 Weston Park, Weston-under-Lizard, Nr. Shifnal, Shropshire, TF11 8LE tel: 01952 852100 www.thenma.org.uk

Camper Jam is the VW Bus Festival to be seen at! The show is chilled out, laid back and has a friendly, relaxed and fun packed vibe.

Ladies Day at Uttoxeter Racecourse Date : Fri 28 - Jul 2017 12:00 Wood Lane, Uttoxeter, ST14 8BD 01889 562561 www.uttoxeter-racecourse.co.uk

There will be music and entertainment after racing at the ever popular Ladies Day which attracts both ladies and gents from across the area as they all embark on one of Staffordshire’s biggest social occasions!

Plant Hunters’ Fair at Middleton Hall Date : Sun 23 Jul 2017 10:00 - 16:00 Middleton,Tamworth,Staffordshire,B78 2AE Tel: 01827 283095 www.middleton-hall.co.uk Enjoy a great plant fair followed by a scroll around the grounds and gardens which are a Site of Special Scientific Interest including a nine acre lake and a noted Walled Garden. The entry cost includes the chance to explore the Hall steeped in hundreds of years of history.

V Festival at Weston Park Date : Sat 19 - Sun 20 Aug 2017 Weston Park, Weston-under-Lizard, Nr. Shifnal, Shropshire, TF11 8LE Tel: 01952 852100 www.weston-park.com The nationally acclaimed rock and pop festival runs over two days with over 100 live acts due to appear.

Appetite presents Water Fools by Ilotopie at Central Forest Park Date : Fri 28 - Sat 29 Jul 2017 19:45 to 22:00 Chell Street,Sneyd Green,Stoke-on-Trent,ST1 6BB Tel: 01782 717962 www.appetitestoke.co.uk Water Fools is an outstanding outdoor show performed entirely on the lake at Central Forest Park.

A spectacle like no other, Water Fools is full of beautiful and extraordinary moments that you’ll never forget.

CONNECTING PARENTS IN BUSINESS F R I D A Y F R I D A Y F R I D A Y

7 T H 8 T H 3 R D

O F O F O F

J U L Y S E P T N O V

Nurture

Lichfield Food Festival at Lichfield City Date : Sat 26 - Mon 28 Aug 2017 Tel:01543 308778 www.lichfieldfood.co.uk Sample some of Staffordshire’s finest produce at Lichfield’s free, two-day food festival. See demonstrations from top chefs and bakers, take part in our answer to Bake Off, try out the Real Ale Trail and browse more than 100 food stalls.

ALL LISTINGS ARE CORRECT AT TIME OF GOING TO PRESS

www.enjoystaffordshire.com

45 / JUN 2017 / ISSUE 03

From Frazzled to

ZEN

by ROMELLA JONES www.createfamilycalm.co.uk

Do you ever feel yourself overwhelmed and exhausted from being a mum? Having no time to yourself? Feeling more and more drained as the day goes on and the week goes on….

Surviving on coffee and sugar – which brings its own slumps after surfing the wave!

Heard about Meditation and Mindfulness and all those other amazing “simple” tools that can “change your life” and “clear your energy blocks”? No idea how you’d fit them into your day?

Well I’m here to help you and tell you the secrets to fitting them into your day! I’m Romella, a former-frazzled mum – although saying that I do have my moments of frazzle still (particularly when children are interrupting my sleep)! I’m an award-winning holistic and energy practitioner, author and mum to two. I teach tools to mums to help them bring balance and calm into their lives and their families.

Meditating is a fabulous tool but I agree – spending 30 minutes a day is a nigh-on possible mountain to climb.

Especially when you’ve got small children that even follow you to the loo when you need a moment of alone-ness!

There is a way, so let me share some of my tips to get you on the track to Balance and Calm.

Firstly to benefit from any tool or to learn a new subject, you have to practice and DO IT! You will never speak Japanese fluently if you just hold the book! I know I’ve got a stack of self-help books sitting unread on my bookshelves. They won’t ever help me unless I read and implement their content (unless decluttering to the charity is helping me that is).

So let’s start – Do you breathe regularly? Yes? Perfect, that’s all you need to do to get started. It really is that simple – taking slow deep breaths and focusing on your breathing, or how your body feels is as simple as meditation gets. So, close your eyes with your feet flat on the floor

and take a few deep breaths and see how you feel.

You should be starting to relax and feel your shoulders drop. Doing this for a minute a few times a day can really help your inner calm to come through. Practice when you’re waiting for the kettle to boil, when Peppa Pig is on, in the shower... anywhere it’s safe for you to relax and focus just on your breathing.

Heard the buzzword of “mindfulness”? Sounds good but it must be complicated as so many books have been written on it? Wrong! It’s simply the process of focusing on the present moment – so focusing completely on what you’re doing, whether it’s on your breathing, meditation or when going for a walk. When you eat something, doing it in a mindful way would be to use all your senses – opening the wrapper (sound), smell, how does it feel when you bite into it, texture, melting (yep chocolate I’m talking about you), how do you feel? Enjoy the moment and the eating of it – don’t rush or feel guilty - that spoils the moment!

My favourite simple meditation is to sit with my feet flat on the floor, close my eyes and concentrate on my breathing. Feeling my shoulders relax and my stomach move with each breath in and out. Then breathe in a colour (blue for peace & calm or pink for unconditional love). Feel the colour filling my body completely. Then on the out breath, I breathe out the colour into the room – creating a positive energy all around me, for everyone to experience.

Simples! Reach your Balance or Zen Point.

For more tips and tools check out my FREEBIES page on www.createfamilycalm.co.uk/free The “Balance and Calm Toolkit for Frazzled Mums”, is available from Amazon. It has 160 tips and techniques, each that only take a minute or five to bring you from frazzled to calm and in touch with your inner zen.

ISSUE 03 / JUN 2017 / 47

MAMA LIFE

Guilt and the

COMpetition

Pet Owner

by Susan Leigh www.lifestyletherapy.net

Mama Life Magazine

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Have I done enough? Agonising over the options of what to do to help a sick animal is a nightmare. They trust us so much. My beautiful cat just looks at me and purrs while I decide what to do about his future.

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Here I am again, once more in the terrible situation of having to decide whether or not to euthanize one of my beloved animals. This time it’s one of my cats. He was born in my porch, his little feral mother having decided that I looked like I’d provide them with a suitable home.

She gave birth to two sons and they moved in and allowed me to look after them. Sylvester is the last one of the three. He’s eleven.

He suddenly appeared with a sore on his face. I thought perhaps he’d been in a fight, he’s not called Sylvester for nothing. He’s always been a bit of a lad, bringing home gifts, chasing other cats. But when I took him to the vet’s four weeks ago she said that she felt it was either an abscess or a bad cancerous growth. These past few weeks he’s had injections, antibiotics and latterly steroid treatment. He even stayed for a week at the vet’s while they gave him treatment there.

Even so, when things don’t seem to be working the guilt that many animal lovers feel is intense.

There are so many concerns about doing the right thing, not prolonging their pain, but at the same time not giving up on them either.

Here are some of my thoughts and feelings today.

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Is it as bad as it looks? I know that there have been times when I was sure that an animal was close to death and then, one injection later it’s been completely fine.

Sometimes animals recover amazingly quickly from situations that look very serious.

Did I miss some of the signs? Was I negligent in not noticing him being unwell sooner. There is dreadful guilt at feeling that I in some way should have intercepted his illness earlier and perhaps been able to have more time to treat him. I know that sometimes I’m not fully alert to my animals. I love them, stroke them, buy them the very best food and drink but sometimes I am busy and don’t check them over.

Am I being selfish in keeping him alive? There is no way that I want to keep a sick, suffering animal alive just to suit my own selfish wants. They can’t tell us how they’re feeling. Sometimes I’ve had animals that don’t seem to be in distress but are very ill and need to be let go as a kindness. Further treatment sometimes just prolongs their suffering.

Are there other options? Should I go to another vet, animal hospital, practitioner and get a second or third opinion. Sometimes that can be a cruel option, prolonging suffering and distress. The animal has no idea what is going on and is poked, prodded and medicated. I trust my vet, otherwise I wouldn’t be going to her in the first place.

Well, as a final word, since I started this article I have been to the vet’s. I was advised to put my little cat to sleep, so I did and then brought him home and buried him in my garden. I’ll get a headstone for his grave. He’s buried next to his mother and his brother. A source of comfort is that he has had a good life, especially for a stray. He’s enjoyed gourmet dinners, central heating and a cosy place to sleep.

And, at the end, no prolonged suffering.

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ISSUE 03 / JUN 2017 / 49

ASTROLOGY

By THE SECRET CLAIRVOYANT

June

www.secretclairvoyant.co.uk

Something that has slept for a long time is about to be awoken in the heavens. Throughout June 2017 the planets continue their dance around the sun and dance with each other. The last three years has seen slow gradual processes that have been on the one hand difficult, trying and obstinate, but on the other personally revealing and hugely rewarding.

In the early part of June, a Magical time is just around the corner as Venus (as can be seen in the evening sky by the Moon) will be giving you a glimpse of better emotions around the corner. You may find that your emotional / love life takes an unexpected turn at the first half of the month and be prepared for a pleasant surprise. You might not see it at first but from the 13th onwards emotions will start to blossom.

From mid-month, onwards even though Saturn is at loggerheads with Mars in opposition, the month and year hereon in does start to accelerate until the end of November. It is particularly important that you lay the foundations you want now so you will be reaping the rewards of your past efforts.

July

Great advances will be made in areas of property and world economics although this is not what will be painted by those in higher authority. The reality is that progress is being made both materially and emotionally in many ways.

Self-perspective is hard to see as we see things from a close view and our vision can be somewhat obscured.

There is a real sense of hope and optimism now and you will be encouraged by professional developments that become apparent. Seek areas where you can develop and challenge yourself…you might be surprised about what you find out about yourself.

Care is needed this month extending into early August that you are not influenced by others' negative view on the world through their opinions and actions. Your patience may well be feeing it’s wearing a little thin with some yet try to keep positive, alert and keep your own council. Above all else, get out there, get moving, keep changing and realise your own potential… You are unique.

August

Unexpected developments start to take place in August and will transpire to emerge in rather dramatic ways. Watch out for a complete turn of events that occur now and when you see it that is when things start to be understood.

In August expect very dramatic revelations which can be about your work, travel, home, family or personal life. These revelations will be an eye opener for you and for most of us we will be able to start to see clearly and know what direction to take. This month is about ‘change’ and if you seek it then it will find you, but with change comes a little disruption.

Do not let this put you off as things that you are not happy with if not dealt with now will come back only to be resolved at the end of October. For example, you may have to take a personal line in getting things done as problems you think you may have will get more problematic if you don’t deal with them.

With Mars conjunction with the Sun most of this month make use of your creative side as it may well surface in unexpected ways, seek out past hobbies and past projects and give yourself time for creative expression. At the end of August you will start to engage with creative elements in your life which is both beneficial and therapeutic, it’s also very revealing.

Remember you are special and your life is unique, what you do with it is up to you, do you have the belief that will carry you through? I think you have…reach out and take opportunities now and live your life to the full…it’s waiting for you.

The Secret Clairvoyant - For Proffesional, Clear & Accurate Readings on your Future call 01584 873447 / 07969 037022 ISSUE 03/ JUN 2017 / 50