mama life STAFFORDSHIRE’S LUXURY BI-MONTHLY PARENTING & LIFESTYLE MAGAZINE
COMPLIMENTARY
magazine
ISSUE 7 / MARCH - APRIL 2018
INSPIRATIONAL VICTIM TO VICTOR READ OUR COVER MODEL’S STORY
WIN IN OUR
BEAUTY GIVEAWAY
STRESS WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO YOU?
INTERIOR DESIGN
REFRESH YOUR HOME
EXCLUSIVE
Botox & FILLER
WHICH ONE?
WITH LOCAL BRITISH COUTURE DESIGNER
Julia Suzuki
welcome to
MAMA LIFE ISSUE 7 “Doing the best at this moment puts you in the best place for the next moment” ― Oprah Winfrey Can you believe we are already 1/4 way through 2018! As they say “time waits for no one” Since Oprah Winfrey’s rousing Golden Globes speech at the beginning of the year there has been a massive emphasis on empowerment for women, we stand by her words, we stand in unity, shoulder to shoulder. We want to be part of the movement and support all our fellow amazing women in a world where we are sometimes too scared to speak out in. You may have seen our Facebook competition to nominate a “Wonder Woman” to be the face of our cover. We received so many entries with so many touching stories that we wish we could have picked you all. Our winner was chosen because of her strength and courage to stand tall and not let past experiences shape her future life. Read her inspiring story, you will understand why she deserves to shine.
® THE ORIGINAL
Finally we are so excited to have been nominated in 2 catergories for The Business Networking Awards 2018. This is an amazing boost for us at HQ, we will update you through our social media. Thank you all for supporting us in our dream. As always we hope you enjoy the read. Much Love.
Meral Mehmet & Natasha Inan Editors-In-Chief
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ISSUE 07 / MAR 2018 / 3
Content
TRAVEL
By Amanda Rudham
Julia Suzuki
27
09
10 - 11
16-17
ARE FRIENDS BAD FOR YOU?
Beauty
FASHION
By Susan Leigh
By Rachelle Grimes
By Emma @ Stylissimo
// Friends and maintaining a good friendship
// You’re beautiful on any budget
// Create your capsule wardobe
5 Day Meal Plan By Lillie Pragnell
28-29
EXCLUSIVE
31
33
34-35
BARLOW’S BOOK REVIEWS
MENOPAUSE
BRIGHTER INTERIORS
By Christie Barlow
By Alex Sullivan
By Rosalie Whitehead
// Spring Reads
// What to expect
// Spring Trends for your home
19
STRESS AWARE By Wendy Capewell
BOTOX or FILLERS By Rachel Foster
19
Mama Life Magazine is also online: www.mamalifemagazine.co.uk
24-25
37
39
40-41
AUTISTIC ADULTS- WE DO EXIST
SEXTING
VICTIM TO VICTOR
By Lana Grant
By Jan Kiermasz
By Cherish Reardon
// Dealing with Autism as an adult
// Your guide to protecting your children
// My story
MAMA LIFE magazine
PUBLISHER : REEL PUBLISHING & MEDIA LTD EDITOR IN CHIEF : Mel Mehmet SALES & ADVERTISING DIRECTOR : Natasha Inan DEPUTY EDITOR : Susan Miller LITERARY EDITOR : Christie Barlow RESIDENT JOURNALIST : Alex Sullivan FASHION : Emma Russell BEAUTY : Rachelle Grimes HAIR : Black Sheep Hair FOOD : Lillie Pragnell PRINTERS : The Manson Group DISTRIBUTION : Self Select
Contact: Editorial : editorial@mamalifemagazine.co.uk 01283 533 888 // 07956 643 433 advertising: advertising@mamalifemagazine.co.uk 01283 533 888 // 07816 861548
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Mama Life Magazine
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contributors relationships : Wendy Capewell FITNESS: Dave Hughes SOCIAL MEDIA : Jan Kiermasz TRAVEL: Amanda Rudham ASTROLOGY : The Secret Clairvoyant WELLBEING : Susan Leigh FAMILY LAW : Clare Wiseman HAPPINESS : Jo Howarth
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Rachel Foster Rosalie Whitehead Lana Grant
COVER CREDITS: Photography : Deborah Anne Photography Model : Cherish Reardon Hair : Jamie Mitchell Makeup : Rachelle Grimes Wardrobe : Julia Suzuki
next issue is out on the 7th May 2018
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Are FRIENDS BAD for YOU?
H
ow many of us refer to practically everyone we know as friends? We may thrive on being popular, enthusiastically accumulate lots of introductions, have hundreds of contacts on our phones and network voraciously. But how many of the people we meet with regularly, socialise with, reveal our innermost thoughts and secrets to are true friends? TV channel, Lifetime recently commissioned a survey on this very subject and discovered that millions of Britons ‘can’t stand’ their friends because they’re too high maintenance or have no shared interests. It’s hardly surprising when we reflect that many of the people we spend time with are there through circumstance or accident. We may have acquired friendships during our early school days, from our neighbourhood, through family connections or at work, but over time gradually realised that we’ve grown apart, supporting different goals, aspirations and outlooks. The Lifetime study reveals that differing opinions, lifestyles and humour mean that 45% of us have ‘frenemies’, people we socialise with but don’t really like. And, in fact, many of us ‘struggle to get along’ in our own group. Why is this situation so commonplace? I guess it’s often convenient and requires less effort to rub along with the people in our own orbit, with those who seem pleasant or ‘nice enough’. Mixing and meeting regularly means we network, reinforce our social hierarchy and establish our own ‘tribe’. But sometimes our ‘friends’ can be negative, causing more harm than good. There may come a time when we need to ask are my friends bad for me? Do they support my best interests, challenge me to better myself and demonstrate real care? Consider how much of yourself you invest in your friendships. Some people give of themselves constantly, providing time, loyalty, money; always thinking of others before themselves. Sharing our dreams, secrets and expectations may work if those involved apply the same consideration, but often one person is more heavily invested in the relationship. Or an unanticipated third-party may appear on the scene, putting the relationship’s dynamics into disarray. Nothing in life stays the same. Stuff happens as new interests surface in the shape of a life partner, children, promotion at work or opportunities to move home or travel more. Health-related issues may occur that require us to adapt accordingly, meaning some relationships may be demoted whilst others become more relevant. Hence, it’s wise not to put all your eggs in one basket. If we invest too much in one or two friendships we may find ourselves becoming unduly possessive, proprietorial, jealous or controlling. Fear of missing out (FOMO) can be a factor if we’re watch-
By SUSAN LEIGH
www.lifestyletherapy.net
ing someone we’ve previously shared everything with start to live an exciting new life. No one wants to be guilt-tripping, bullying or intimidating their friends into making decisions that are wrong for them, or be on the receiving end of that treatment either. That’s why it’s so important to accept that we can enjoy friendships in many different areas of life. Those relationships need not consume us, but instead can satisfy and support us in a variety of ways. We may have friends who are fantastic at work. They share our outlook, enjoy discussing work and career-related issues but otherwise have very little in common. This often becomes apparent when someone leaves their job, promising to keep in touch. When they return to visit, even after only a few weeks, there’s usually very little to discuss once the initial greetings are over. Tips for maintaining good friendships: •Learn not to rely too heavily on one relationship for all your emotional and companionship needs. Having a small circle of best friends is all well and good, but be wise to your own counsel. Expecting one person to be everything to you is too much responsibility both for you and them. Maintain your identity and relish other friendships, hobbies and interests too. • Accept that some friends will have their limitations. Some may be fair-weather friends, only able to cope with fun, laughter and good times. Others may be foul-weather friends, happy to listen, give advice and support you, but disinterested in partying and frolics. Both have their part to play. •Notice how much of yourself you ‘give away’ in your relationships. What do you offer, what do you get in return? Do you have boundaries where you say ‘enough!’ about sharing time, money, personal secrets and information? Extraordinary circumstances may mean one person does more taking and the other more giving, but set limits so the traffic’s not permanently oneway. •Accept that situations change; a new partner may appear, a job or business opportunity may arise that requires more dedicated time, effort or indeed the chance to work away. Be generous in celebrating your friends’ successes. Be firm and keep intuitively in touch with what’s right for you. Friends may have a different perspective or even an ulterior motive about what you ‘should’ do. Yes, friendships require compromise and co-operation, but refrain from sacrificing your happiness to constantly accommodate others. Flexibility is fine but shouldn’t become a way of life; ensure that your friendships are good for you.
Susan Leigh, counsellor, hypnotherapist, relationship counsellor, writer & media contributor offers help with relationship issues, stress management, assertiveness and confidence. She works with individual clients, couples and provides corporate workshops and support.She’s author of 3 books, ‘Dealing with Stress, Managing its Impact’, ‘101 Days of Inspiration #tipoftheday’ and ‘Dealing with Death, Coping with the Pain’, all on Amazon & with easy to read sections, tips and ideas to help you feel more positive about your life. To order a copy or for more information, help and free articles visit www.lifestyletherapy.net ISSUE 07 / MAR 2018 / 9
You’re beautiful
BEAUTY By Rachelle Grimes
www.rachellegrimesmakeup.com
High Definition powder By Chantecaille
hd finishing powder
The lip balm
A lightweight translucent finishing powder that helps soften the appearance of fine lines and pores. This pressed powder has a fresh matte finish.
This luxury balm softens roughness on contact, helping to seriously rescue dry lips. Every independent woman deserves a pot of this in her hand bag.
Price
Price
£9.00
£50.00
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BY nyx
Worn over makeup, the transparent powder gently sets foundation ensuring long lasting wear, leaving skin flawless and matte. Created especially for high definition cameras. Price £64.00 www.harrods.com
Private blend white suede
accord No 2
BY Tom Ford
Wild, charming and totally irresistible. According to Tom Ford leather and suede have a powerfully addictive smell. Price £158 for 50ml www.selfridges.com
BY ZARA
Spicy, sweet and floral, containing rose, cedar and vanilla. This very luxury and independent bottle will make a great feature on any dressing table. £15.99 www.zara.com
MAMA LIFE LOVES
men’s soin fermete Age control MEN’S Anti-aging balm
BY Dior Homme
Price £61.50 www.debenhams.com
www.boots.com
Smooth Eye Colour eye shadow palette flawless 16g
BY Dolce & Gabbana
BY REVOLUTION
£50.00 www.johnlewis.com ISSUE 07/MAR 2018 / 10
BY H & M
A natural and organic lip balm which will leave lips soft and supple with a shine containing organic shea butter, jojoba oil, bees wax and castor oil.
MAMA LIFE LOVES
Restorative body cream
BY Sisley
Provides a true moment of pure pleasure when applying the delightful, fresh fragranced moisturiser. Provides hydration, repair and helps to fight against water loss and maintain skin’s natural moisture balance. Price £110.00
Price £5.99 www.hm.com
Pure Seduction body lotion
BY Victoria’s Secret
Well it says it all in the name. As well as smelling divine, this body lotion will leave your skin hydrated for hours without feeling sticky with endless hours of smelling like a goddess. Price £17.00 www.victoriasecret.com
DIY Makeup primer
Combats the effects of modern living on the skin, protects against sun damage and helps work on the appearance of lines & wrinkles.
£12.50
Price
conscious raspberry
BY NO 7
Price
A superior foundation employs advanced technology to promote the appearance of a youthful complexion by plumping fine lines and wrinkles.
Lip balm
BY Crème de La Mer
www.sisley-paris.com
Price
The effect of time is chased away and your skin’s strength is preserved.
on any budget
A whole 32 shades in one neat palette with a great mix of shimmer and matte. Create any look at this amazing value. Price £8.00
1 teaspoon of coconut oil 1/3 cup of aloe vera Mineral powder •Peel the leaf from your aloe vera carefully and place the contents in a bowl (aloe is an excellent beauty ingredient because it’s high in vitamin E) •Melt down coconut oil in a microwave or on the stove top •Add the coconut oil to your aloe •Add mineral powder and whisk your mix until you have an even consistency
www.superdrug.com ISSUE 07 / MAR 2018 / 11
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fashion By EMMA RUSSELL www.stylissimo.co.uk
Create a Spring
Ever had that feeling where you just don’t know what to wear or how to wear it? Many of us go through a period in our lives where we fall out of love with our clothes, our style, ourselves, and often don’t know where to turn to for help or guidance. We effectively lose our style mojo. I’ve been that person too and I’m sure it’s something we can all relate to. As an image consultant I help ladies regain their style mojo, helping them understand their body shape, colouring and how best to style their clothes so that they can be the best version of themselves. Regardless of your shape or size the first thing I advise, especially for busy mamas, is build yourself a capsule wardrobe. This is where you mix and match your pieces of clothing to form different looks for different occasions. By utilising everything in your wardrobe you save money, by sticking to these rules you shop better only buying the things you need. And most importantly you always have something stylish to wear.
Style TIP
Choose your key piece for that season. Ask yourself honestly what do I need? As opposed to what you want and would impulse purchase just because you love it. In order to build your perfect spring capsule wardrobe, you will need that “key piece” from which to start, that may be a “wear everywhere dress” or your spring jacket or a pair of boots but essentially the idea is that you build around that one piece ensuring that everything you choose complements that piece and each item can be mixed and matched.
lunch with the Girls
River Island Black Bella Jeans £42,
For Spring a trench coat is timeless piece that will never date and will return year after year. Choose one in a neutral colour to maximise the number of ways it can be styled. Personally, I’d avoid black as it drains the skin of colour in most skin tones, a camel alternative will warm the skin up avoiding dark circles under the eyes.
Capsule Wardrobe
Other key pieces to consider for your Spring capsule wardrobe is the “wear everywhere dress”, this is a dress that can be styled in a multitude of ways. I love the versatility of a shirt dress. This one from Next could be worn for work with the white cylinder heels. For play with the Dune trainers, for the beach with the Next weave yellow mules and worn open over white jeans for a transitional piece for cooler weather. Next Cylinder Heels £55
Next Yellow weave mules £55
work
Primark Trench Coat £25
Marks and Spencer Bag £39.50
Key Rules When choosing your key piece be it a coat, jacket or blouse identify the right base colour for you. Hold the item up to your face, what impact does the colour have on your skin? Does it darken it creating shading, or does it lighten and brighten? The key is for it to brighten the skin, look at alternatives to black, consider grey, navy or camel as your base colours. Once you’ve identified your base colours and the key item you need in your wardrobe, that you’ll wear all season, you can add accents of colour through accessories, scarves, tops, blouses and shoes. You are now starting to build the foundation of your capsule wardrobe.
My favourite wear everywhere piece is a jumpsuit, they are incredibly versatile and can be layered up for cooler weather and smart enough to be worn for all occasions. For a chic casual look, roll the sleeves up to the elbow, unbutton the top two buttons and style a white slogan tee underneath.
Debenhams Studio by Preen Skirt £49
Debenhams Studio Preen Blouse £45
Dune Elurru Trainers £85
Next Cylinder Heels £55
E A LIF MAM VES LO
Accessorize Bag £30
ag rB
nce pe 0 S & .5 rks £29 Ma
Next Shirt Dress £45
Next Jumpsuit £55, Primark Boots £16
Accessorize Bag £30
school run
shopping
Next Breton Tee £16
Dune Elurru Trainers £85
River Island Black Bella Jeans £42,
Debenhams Studio by Preen Skirt £49
Denim can be such a versatile fabric when chosen in a key style, I love this dress by Oliver Bonas at £69.50 this should be your key piece for a number of outfits. I’d layer it with the breton tee underneath and wear the Dune trainers and M&S bag worn long across the body to add a pop of colour for a casual running around after the kids day time look. For a work appropriate look switch the footwear to the Primark boots, take away the Breton tee, keep the red colour pop bag and you’re good to go.
Marks & Spencer Bag £29.50
Next Breton Tee £16
Personalised style advice is on hand whatever your budget or time constraints. Why not book in for a Personal Styling session or a Personal shop to revamp your wardrobe ready for Spring. Quote Mama Life and receive 10% off Courtesy of Stylissimo For details go to www.stylissimo.co.uk or call 07712 048652
Oliver Bonas Distinction denim dress £69.50
Primark Boots £16
ISSUE 07 / MAR 2018 / 17
Free Bottle of House Wine with any 2 people dining in March & April Quote MAMA18 Offer valid Monday - Friday 6.00pm - 9:30pm
STRESS AWARE! By wendy capewell
www.yourrelationshipspecialist.co.uk
WEEKEND PACKAGES Bed & Breakfast Contact us for more information
STRESS!
It’s a word bandied around, but what does it mean to you? •Your head is full of I should have done that, I must do that, damn I forgot that! •You have just had enough! You ping-pong between screaming and shouting - and sobbing. •If one more person speaks to you, demanding your attention, asking one more stupid question you will just explode! •If only you could get a good night’s sleep! You are so tired but when it comes to bed time your brain just won’t stop. Intrusive thoughts go round and round. •You are so hacked off with your partner, you are sick of him constantly pawing you, prodding and poking you. I need sleep - Get off! •The kids are driving you mad, constantly demanding your attention, they won’t pick up their things and treat you like a skivvy, •If someone tells you to calm down one more time you won’t be responsible for your actions!
STOP FOR ONE MINUTE - grab paper and pen and list all the things happening in your life that take your time and energy. Here are some suggestions to get you thinking –
C h r i s t o p h e r ’s & T h e P e e l A l d e r g a t e
13-14 Aldergate, Tamworth, Staffordshire, B79 7DL 01827 67676
•Partner •Children •Family •Job (as well as being a mum, homemaker, cleaner, chauffeur, listener, problem solver) •Responsibilities for extended family members •Long term illness •Death of someone close •House move •Financial worries
Now look at the list – Ask yourself if it’s any wonder you feel overstretched and stressed, exhausted and wired. Effects of stress Stress is so damaging in so many ways, worry, anxiety, and irritability all damage you physically and emotionally. You may turn to alcohol or binge eating, but you know that isn’t really helping, it’s just sticking a plaster over the problem. In the long term it can contribute to serious illnesses, such as heart disease, asthma, stroke, diabetes and some types of cancer. So what can you do? Check that list you made before, and prioritise, get others to help out, delegate! Some self-care is badly needed and if that means you are being selfish in other’s eyes, that’s just tough luck. Remind them that if you get sick they will have to do it all, so lending a helping hand isn’t that bad. Other things you can do when you are feeling stressed are: •Download some Apps to your phone on meditation, breathing exercises and relaxation, find a quiet place and listen to them for a few minutes. •Take a bath with music, candles and essential oils. •Write down all the stuff in your head before going to sleep, it really helps clear your mind. •Switch off all electronics at least an hour before going to bed to prepare your brain for sleep.
Wendy Capewell is the author of From Surviving to Thriving in a Romantic Relationship Christophers Peel Aldergate
christopherstamworth
Chistophers@Peel
ISSUE 07 / MAR 2018 / 19
5 Day Meal Plan
By LILLIE PRAGNELL
www.foodfituk.com
MEAL
DAY 1
DAY 2
DAY 3
DAY 4
DAY 5
FIRST THING (7am - 8am)
Hot water with Hot water with Hot water with Hot water with Hot water with ½ a lemon ½ a lemon ½ a lemon ½ a lemon ½ a lemon
BREAKFAST (8am - 9am)
Porridge with Wholemeal Peanut butter 3 tbsp. yogurt banana, 1 tsp. muffin with low frappe* with bluebercacao powder fat soft cheese & Water ries & almonds & maple syrup smoked salmon Water Water Water
Portion of SNACK (10am - 11am) grapes & melon Water LUNCH (12pm - 2pm)
SNACK (3pm - 5pm)
DINNER (6pm - 7.30pm)
Handful of banana chips Water
Portion of Portion of natu- 2 crackers with grapes & melon ral yogurt with soft cheese and Water 1 tsp. honey 1 tsp. chutney Water Water
Chicken & Leftover brown Avocado salad rice risotto Water with pea and goats cheese* Water
Cheese and spinach omelette Water
Cucumber A mashed slices with low avocado with a fat soft cheese chopped tomaWater to & coriander Water
Protein shake Water
Brown rice risotto with pea and goats cheese*
Peach melba smoothie* Water
Tuna salad wholemeal wrap Water
½ can beans on a slice w/g toast Water
Carrot batons 4 squares of and low fat dark chocolate hummus Water Water
Steamed white Lamb & apricot Chicken breast fish with mash with hometagine with potato and veg made chips*, couscous* brown rice peas and gravy
Aubergine Lasagne* Water
EXTRAS ALLOWED (if you really need them) 2 cups of tea or coffee per day (no sugar, or aim to reduce your sugar over the next few weeks) 2 alcoholic drinks per week
Dried/Ambient Goods •Porridge oats •Couscous •Brown Arborio rice •Wholemeal wrap •Crackers •Brown rice •Peanut butter •Vanilla protein powder •Maple syrup •Honey •Vanilla extract •Cacao/cocoa powder •Small loaf of wholemeal/seeded bread
shopping list
•Wholemeal muffin •Banana chips •Eggs •Almonds •Dried apricot •Chicken gravy •Tomato puree •Chutney •Dark chocolate •Coffee •Vegetable stock •Coconut oil •Mixed herbs •Smoked paprika •Ground cumin •Cinnamon •Turmeric •Passata
Fruit & Veg •Lemons •Grapes •Melon •Bananas •Blueberries •Cucumber •Cherry tomatoes •Celery sticks •Avocados •Bag of mixed leaves •Bag of spinach •Spring onions •Broccoli •Bag of potatoes •Aubergines •Red & yellow pepper
•Onions •Carrots •Garlic •Fresh coriander Dairy/Fresh •Almond milk •Natural yogurt •Low fat hummus •Low fat soft cheese •Low fat cheddar •Goats cheese •Parmesan •Ricotta •Butter •Orange juice •Dry white wine
Meat & Fish •Chicken breasts •White fish fillets •Smoked salmon •Beef mince •Lamb Cans •Tuna •Chopped tomatoes Frozen •Peas •Raspberries
Brown Rice Risotto with Pea and Goats Cheese Prep Time: 30-40 mins Serves 2-3 •500ml vegetable stock •1 tbsp. coconut oil •1 onion (finely chopped) •150g frozen peas •2 garlic cloves (minced) •2 tbsp. dry white wine •10 tbsp. uncooked brown Arborio or other short-grain rice •150g Goats Cheese (crumbled) •1 tbsp. grated fresh Parmesan cheese •2 tsp mixed herbs •Seasoning
Method
1.Put stock in a medium saucepan and simmer over low heat 2.In a large saucepan add oil and cook onions over medium heat - 1 minute 3.Add peas and garlic - cook 3 minutes keep stirring 4.Add wine - cook 1 minute or until liquid has evaporated 5.Add rice and stir in - cook for 1 minute 6.Stir in 1/3 of stock mixture – keep stirring for 5-7 mins or until liquid is nearly absorbed 7.Add remaining stock, 1/3 at a time, stirring constantly until each portion of stock is absorbed before adding the next (about 15-20 mins total) 8.Stir in goats cheese, herbs and seasoning 9.This should produce 2-3 portions – once cooled keep remaining portions in airtight container in fridge. Suitable to eat cold with salad, be re-heated (ensure it is piping hot throughout) or freeze.
Peach melba smoothie Prep Time: 10 mins •2 or 1 tin of peaches (drained) •2 handfuls of raspberries (frozen) •1 glass of almond milk •1 glass of orange juice •1 tbsp. lemon juice •1 tbsp. maple syrup •1 tsp. vanilla extract •Ice cubes
Method
1.Put all ingredients in the blender and blitz. 2.Pour into a glass
Peanut Butter Frappe Prep Time : 10 mins •½ cup of coffee – cooled and put in ice cube tray and frozen •2 scoops vanilla protein powder •300ml milk (cows or almond) •2tbsp. Peanut Butter •1 tsp. maple syrup (or honey) •Water (use a little if mixture is too thick)
Method
•Mix coffee ice cubes, protein powder, milk, peanut butter and syrup together •Use water to change the consistency to desired taste
Lamb and apricot tagine with couscous (slow cooker) Prep Time: 15 mins Cook Time: 4-6 hours Method Serve:2 1.In a frying pan warm the oil and add the onions and garlic until soft – 2-3 mins – transfer to slow cooker •300g lamb (cubed) 2.The fry the lamb cubes with the •1 onion (diced) spices for 5-6 mins stirring well – •1 tsp. Sunflower oil transfer to slow cooker •2 garlic cloves (minced) 3.Add the apricots and peppers to •1 tsp. smoked paprika slow cooker •1 tsp. ground cumin 4.In a jug mix together the passata •½ tsp. cinnamon and stock and pour contents over •½ tsp. turmeric the ingredients in the slow cooker •200ml passata and stir. •100ml vegetable stock •50g dried apricots (halved) 5.Cook on a low heat for 4-6 hours •Red pepper (de-seeded and (if doing this in the over – repeat process in an oven dish and cook cubed) on 160 C for 2 hours •Yellow pepper (de-seeded 6.Make the couscous with water and cubed) according to manufacturer’s •150g Couscous •Handful of fresh coriander instructions 7.Serve couscous with tagine (chopped) alongside and sprinkle over the coriander
Homemade chips Method Prep Time: 20 mins •Preheat oven to 180 degrees C •Peel and cut potatoes into chips Serves: 2 •Boil potatoes in a pan on a medium •3 x medium sized Potatoes •Olive oil/1 cal spray
heat for 5 mins – drain •Once cooled slightly dry off and place on baking tray and very lightly cover with olive oil or 1 cal spray •Place in oven and cook for 1520mins
Aubergine Lasagne Method 1.Preheat oven to 180 degrees Prep Time: 20 MINS Celsius Serve: 2-3 portions 2.Melt the butter in a medium
sized pan then add the garlic 3.Add the mince and seasoning Stir until the beef has browned 4.Pour in the tomatoes and tomato puree and bring to a slow and steady boil and let the sauce reduce for 10 minutes 5.Meanwhile, slice the aubergine and stir the spinach and ricotta together ready for assembly 6.In a casserole dish pour a thin layer of the Bolognese sauce on •1 tsp. butter the bottom of a casserole dish •1 garlic clove (minced) 7.Then add aubergine on top •200g beef mince 8.Next add 1/2 of the ricotta and •1 can of chopped tomatoes spinach mixture and spread it over •1 tsp. tomato puree •2 aubergines (sliced ½ cm thick) the aubergine in an even layer 9.Repeat the 3 last steps, creating •20g of ricotta layers of Bolognese, aubergine •2 handfuls of spinach then ricotta •2 tbsp. grated parmesan 10.Pour the remaining ricotta •Seasoning sauce over the top, and sprinkle the parmesan over. 11.Bake for 30 minutes and serve immediately.
Natasha’s Blog My Journey to Find Me
Home Workout Mania 2018 by Dave Hughes www.fitcampuk.co.uk
2 ½ years into my diet…….
I
t was now or never…the next step was joining a gym. I booked to have a tour round a well-known gym. I was so nervous walking up to the reception desk; I gave my name and the lady said, ‘take a seat, Sammy will be over with you shortly.’ My heart was pounding; I really needed to take control of how scared I was feeling. Why was I so worried, it was only a gym! ‘Hi Natasha, my name’s Sammy. I will be showing you around this morning; please feel free to ask any questions along the way, it should only take 20 to 30 minutes. Ok, let’s go.’
When I read back my blog, I think how bloody stupid I was! Why did I feel like this? I’d be the first to say to someone to go out and get it, you can do it!! But there was me, sitting in the car feeling sick… Not only did my husband come out the gym doors but another man was with him. I thought, oh they must know each other. Shit, they’re both walking to the car. My heart was pounding!! I’m going to kill him, I thought. My husband hand gestured me to get out of the car. Thoughts in my mind were whirling. I really am going to kick his ass when I get home.
He took me round; it was super-duper – had all the latest modern exercise machines where you could watch tv, listen to music etc. In the corner of my eye, I clapped eyes on two ladies on the stepper machine: hair perfect, makeup perfect…I thought, WHAT?? Where’s the sweat? Where’s the puffing and bright red faces?!!
‘Hi, my name’s Andy. Your husband tells me you want to have a look around the gym? You’re interested in joining? What is it you’re looking for?’
Sammy turned to me and said , ‘Don’t worry, we get a few of them in! We call them the bored housewives, with nothing better to do than gossip or flirt.’ I felt my face turn red, but he did make me smirk a bit. What world was I about to step into… was I ready, could I do this, was this the right place for me? I’m sure most gyms are all the same.
Well, it was the best thing my husband ever did and no, I didn’t kick his ass when we got home!
My husband thought I was becoming rather anxious about it all. He said to me, ‘Lets’ go, let’s both join.’ He’d wanted to get back into the gym for a while, and it was his way of showing me support. He said, ‘There’s this gym on the industrial estate.’ I thought, I’m not going to any body-building, back-street gym. What will they think of me? I don’t want to build muscles, I want to get fit! I put it off for a few days, then hubby said, ‘Let’s go. If you don’t come and look today, I’m going on my own.’ So, we went and in the allocated parking area for the gym, I said: ‘You go in first then come out and get me if it’s not too full, and if there’s lots of men just leave me here and you join on your own.’
In the next issue…
‘Um, um, um, um, I’ve lost some weight and I want to get fit. I think this is the next stage?’
This gym was perfect for me. Yes, there were a few body builders but there were older folk, young, mixed sizes…I liked it. The staff were amazing, really encouraging. Over the weeks I went with my husband, never on my own. I was starting to build up the confidence. I was asking Andy or Ben questions about the machines and how they would benefit me. I listened and took note of everything they said. On one occasion, I overheard a group of gym members talking about a mud run. I thought, one day I would love to be fit enough to do one of those. Andy started giving me personal training lessons. I was really noticing the shape of my body changing and I was feeling a lot more energetic. Andy asked questions about my life and over time, he learnt of my journey. I was opening up a lot easier and my confidence was growing. I started off with a walking pace…in to a slight jog…I’m going to run, I’m going to run so fast! I have got this…
We’re in to the third month of the new year already!!! Yes, the third month – have you achieved the goals you set out for this year? Have you set goals and started working towards them? Eighty per cent drop out of their New Year’s resolutions by February and only 8% stick to them, which is a 92% drop-out rate – that is astonishing! Why is this? Life gets in the way…work, kids, hectic lifestyles, and many other excuses. When we set a goal, we have a clear mind to do it – but then we forget our lifestyles are like a magnet pulling us back to where we are – they pull us back rather than let us move forward in life with work, health, relationships and exercise. So when it comes to getting fitter, lots of us set off to find an answer, which brings me onto home fitness workouts. Coaches who train you while you watch them on tv, online or on a DVD… Believe it or not, I am someone who has battled with my weight twice in my life and home workouts have never worked for me. I found I have to go somewhere and be pushed or maybe train with somebody or a group to keep me going. But if you do not have the time to go somewhere, it may suit you to find time in your day to watch a DVD. I did not have the internet or DVDs back in my day – just the VHS video. Jane Fonda was the craze back then or you could watch a Rocky movie to get you motivated. Then came Mad Lizzy and Mr Motivator on GMTV. They would do their sessions each morning while you watched and took part. They had tight lycra or mad bright clothing and bizarre dress sense – these did not seem cool to me as I was a teenager back then. Many of us used to watch rather than participate. DVDs The home workouts are choreographed by a top personal trainer and then they use the latest celebrity to promote them. We had celebrities like Jane Fonda on video, and Davina McCall who still has some superb DVDs out now. We also have Geordie Shore’s Vicky Pattison or Charlotte Crosby. These ladies were getting smashed on alcohol and eating junk food on every episode and now they are showing off their new improved bodies. This is great if you watch lots of TV and you can see how well they have done possibly transforming their lives from a size 20 down to a 10 or 12-14. So, when you see how well they have done it makes you want to be like them. Yes??
weight or preparing for a holiday or a wedding? Then the motivation is high and we are doing the workout 4 x week at the start when motivation is at its peak. In the second week, it becomes 2-3 x week, and then 1-2 x a couple of weeks after that. Before you know it, you have stopped doing the workouts all together. We are on the ‘tomorrow’ workout. The tomorrow workout is: let’s do it tomorrow but ‘tomorrow’ never comes. Does this sound familiar? I remember doing Insanity with Sean T (Insanity Instructor). Not sure if you have tried this? It was a 90 day workout that you had to do a different DVD every day for 6 days a week and then you did this for 90 days. Now I was a fit Personal Trainer when I first had a go at this 10 years ago. I was doing it with my business partner and fellow personal trainer and we were killing each other on the fitness tests and competing against each other, arguing on who was the best – but we found it tough and also very hard to do every day. We are the motivated ones – what about the general public who have old injuries, movement restrictions or have not exercised for years? Some may not have exercised for 20+ years! If we found it tough, how did they find it? But, Insanity was the most popular home workout DVD for years and years and it cost £127. That is a lot of money if you are not using it. How many DVDs are sitting in your house doing nothing? Joe Wicks the Body Coach seems to be the craze at the moment with his YouTube workouts. He has 2 million followers on Instagram and a huge audience cooking from his bestselling ‘Lean In 15’ recipe books. This is great to follow but do you stick to it? Do the excuses start coming back after 2-6 weeks? Life is hard, especially when you have had a bad night’s sleep, or worked really late to get this important deadline done or maybe the kids are ill – it’s so easy to drop out. Does this sound familiar? Yes, life gets in the way; we make excuses…the tomorrow workout that never happens. We all do it when we are motivated but who is motivated 4 days a week every week? I can tell you who! I and my team of expert 1-1 trainers at Fit Camp UK. This is one of the reasons I set up Fit Camp UK so people could train with an expert 1-1 trainer at the fraction of the cost of personal training. I’m Dave Hughes, and I help people to transform their lives, bodyshape and fitness so that they can feel more confident in everything they do. If you are struggling with motivation or want help to achieve a healthy new you then get in touch.- 07966 638 009.
They may not have 2-4 kids to run to school, cook dinners and keep a tidy house while balancing the many other things you do as a busy mum. Let’s face it, we do not make enough time for our exercise sessions. When you set off with a DVD, are you highly motivated after being in a place of pain? Maybe feeling unhealthy, wanting to lose
My journey continues ISSUE 07 / MAR 2018 / 23
botox & fillers
flow, lip lines, reduced elastic, crow’s feet and muscle movement repeatedly causing facial expressions such as smiling and frowning. As we age our bones change shake and fork and we lose fat volume causing gravitational changes. The consultation process takes lifestyle into consideration and recommendations for future skin protection such as vitamin a, b, c, e and antioxidants, plenty of water and exercise together with healthy eating are key to maintain healthy skin..
by Rachel foster
I
n the changing society in that we live, with people living longer, new technology and medical advances in both medicine and aesthetics, it is more acceptable for people, men and women to want to look great into their future, where their beauty is preserved. It is the best compliment for people to say “ you look great, you look so fresh, you look so well” rather than “ have you had botox, have you had treatments”? This is my aim, to create this natural look and give clients confidence and sometimes life changing results. To help someone feel better in themselves in such a great feeling. Botox relaxes the muscles and comes in a liquid form and once diluted it is injected into the muscle to relax the region over the next 10 days. Fillers are liguid gel, they plump and fill an area to add volume, fillers give instant results. Botox lasts approx 12 weeks and fillers last 12 months. It’s that simple!!
Botox relaxes and fillers fill Each client will be different and have different needs yet we all generally want to look young and natural looking, product choice then is essential for this process. RHA is used widely to treat mobile areas of the face such as perioral areas, lips, cheeks, nasolabial folds, forehead and crow’s feet. It is essential to recognise that the dynamic facial movements are what makes us attractive, therefore we do not want to change this. Being artistic in nature and having a passion for beauty is what has made me successful in creating some great results and still allowing the client to have their own identity and charm with the characteristics of their facial expressions preserved throughout even with the introduction of fillers and products to simply add life and fresh, youthfulness. Teoysal products are a favoured product specifically for the cross linking gels. Cross linking is where a liquid gel is transformed to a viscoelastic gel. They are specifically designed to fill wrinkles and lines correcting the facial oval and increasing lips volume. They last for 6 – 18 months depending on the products. These products have the ability to support the skin in its movements, helping to preserve vitality and soften the face as a whole. Hyaluronic acid retains water like a sponge to help keep ISSUE 07 / MAR 2018 / 24
skin soft and firm. Injected in the right places fillers can support cutaneous tissues and return lost elasticity regaining tone and giving life to your skin. Using a great product that will move with the skin. Movements that we want to keep are our personality movements such as laughing and smiling. Using such products and placing this in an artistic way will create and illusion of youth with a natural effect. As we age the skin gets drier, thinner and fragile with decreasing elasticity. Fillers are used for fine lines, loss of volume, wrinkles and lips. They are successfully able to treat scars and replace loss of tissue mass and collagen to plump the skin. They are hyaluronic acid, collagen and calcium hydroxyapatite. They can be synthetic and natural. Calcium hydroxyapatite is found naturally in bones and mineral compounds. Fillers can be used for areas such as nasolabial folds, marionette lines. No animal products are in this product and as they don’t migrate they have rare side effects yet can improve skin contours and scars. High concentration of hyaluronic acid is found in boggy soft connective beads. People ask how long these will last and it depends on the individual but on average 12-18 months. It is significant where the filler is injected and the quantity injected, I would always start with a lower quantity and build up if needed, this also would be cost effective and also the risks of any side effects and unwanted over filling. After care is really important. No lying down for a few hours after, no makeup to prevent infection immediately after, avoid alcohol that evening to prevent thinning and bruising. Avoid sunbeds and saunas and steam for two weeks. You should practice facial expressions after to spread the lotion into the muscles required evenly, ice to be applied if needed. Massage of the filler is required should a lump appear and ice immediately after if needed, not directly onto the skin. It is best to avoid vitamin E and non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs (Ibuprofen and Naproxen) to prevent bruising.
nti-ageing (btx) works by releasing a neurotransmitter from motor nerve terminals to relax the injected muscle. It is used to soften lines and hence create a youthful appearance. The lines which we can see without actual movement are called static lines and can be softened with anti-ageing solution to the region, they may not go entirely but will certainly soften. Nowadays younger people are treating themselves as a proactive measure to prevent the static lines in the first instance.
A
You may have small hives as the injection has been placed in specific muscles. These will settle after ten minutes at least. You may have a small bruise but that will also go and this will be very superficial. At day 3 the drug will be out of your body and up to ten days from injection your results will still be working hard to create the muscle relaxant. Day three your areas will feel tighter and more difficult to move (stiffening). After ten days of “cooking” as we call this process, your skin will be smoother, softer and relaxed with static lines reduced. People may ring me at day 5 with no results yet the very next day it is cooked. The results will last up to 12 weeks approximately and depend on the individual. If a small top up is required we will know after ten days. The half life of btx is 6 weeks therefore by 11 – 12 weeks the movements where injected will start to return.
Part of the consultation for aesthetics is defining what the client really does not like and how they would like to look and feel. It is significant to look at the skin and the consultation as a holistic process.
Side effects to the btx (azzalure, boccuture are the main products I use) are rare, yet can include a slight headache, reaction at the site of injection, for example, redness, swelling, irritation, rash, itching, bruising and stinging but the reactions are mild.
Skin care is a significant part of the anti-ageing consultation and understanding the client and how they have aged is a process of elimination. It may be sun damage, thickening if the dermis causing a disruption to the collagen and pigmentation changes. Smoking can also be associated this decreased capillary blood
Let’s Do
By amanda rudham
amanda.rudham@travelcounsellors.com
At this time of year my Disney World bookings hit a peak as the best offers are released. It is one of the most popular family destinations in the world and one of my favourites! However, it can also be confusing to plan and lots of people I speak to don’t know where to start so here are answers to some of the most common questions I’m asked. When should we go?
If you are restricted to school holidays, Easter is a great time to visit. The weather is pleasant, warm enough but not too hot & humid. But, expect the parks to be busy as it is one of the most popular times of the year and flights and accommodation will be expensive. A cheaper option in school holidays is last 2 weeks in August – you will find prices drop and the parks are quieter as lots of American schools are back. It will be hot though and be prepared for a downpour every afternoon. Outside of school holidays, I love early November. Plan your dates to get the end of the Halloween celebrations and the beginning of Christmas!
When should I book?
This isn’t the kind of holiday to leave until the last minute! Unlike other destinations bookings can be made up to 2 years in advance and the best offers are usually for early bookers. For peak dates like Christmas and Easter it is essential to book early as availabiltiy can go very quickly. Look out for offers – if you plan to stay in a Disney hotel try and book when the Free Disney Dining offer is released.
What is the best age to take the children?
Disney has something for all ages and many people take babies plus grandparents. However, if this is a once in a lifetime family trip I think the perfect age for children to go is 5-9. At this age they are usually tall enough to go on the rides but still young enough to enjoy the Disney magic and meeting the characters. I wouldn’t worry too much about whether they will remember every detail of the holiday – you’ll have pictures and video to look back on.
Should I stay in a Disney Hotel or a Villa?
There are certainly lots of advantages to staying in a Disney Hotel. It’s easy to get around using the free transportation to the parks, they will even pick you up from the airport! You can enter the parks earlier and stay later and you are able to make Fastpass & Dining reservations further in advance. However, staying in a Disney hotel is almost always a more expensive option. For larger families and those who want more space, villas are a great choice. For less than the price of a deluxe hotel room you can have a 4 Bedroom Villa with full kitchen, games room and private pool – and you get your own bedroom rather than sharing.
Do I need to drive?
Driving in Orlando is pretty straightforward and if you are staying in a villa I strongly recommend you have a car. But if driving on holiday is not for you, lots of offsite hotels have shuttles to the theme parks or if you are in a Disney hotel you have free transportation included.
What about the other theme parks?
There is a lot more to Orlando than Disney! Depending on the age of the children, schedule in a visit to Universal Orlando, home to the incredible Wizarding World of Harry Potter. There is also Seaworld, Discovery Cove, Legoland, Water Parks, Mini-Golf and a little further afield Busch Gardens and the Kennedy Space Centre. Research the ticket options as if you want to visit multiple parks you can save money buying combined tickets. Wherever in the world you’d like to head to for your next holiday, get in touch with Amanda to plan your trip!
Julia Suzuki
A project Julia also has underway a luxury couture lingerie range, helping women feel as feminine and sensual underneath their gowns as they do on the outside. The lingerie is designed to complement the evening or bridal dresses; to optimise the shape and eliminate the difficulty many women find sourcing an under garment that fits and defines perfectly. This is to become a high end, luxury lingerie gift collection.
mama • british couture designer • business woman • AUTHOR Julia Suzuki, British couture designer and business woman, invited ‘Mama Life’ into her beautiful Staffordshire home, to get an insight into the intricate process of creating the JS exquisite gowns, and get her top tips for success. The Julia Suzuki Brand is a collection of bespoke creations that benefit from the best pattern cutters, seamstresses and hand selected fabrics to ensure that these opulent and shimmering designs have a classic but edgy feel. Her clients are many and varied - from career women to busy Mums who demand style and exclusivity. Julia takes time to understand her client’s individuality and uses colour analysis and personality profiling to ensure they suit the outfit. So what is key to getting this right?
Indeed, this eye for detail resulted in one of her wedding designs being chosen by Royale Centrale - the international royal press site, as the one they would like most to be seen on the Royal Princess in waiting Meghan Markle. In fact, the national media recently listed Julia Suzuki as a frontrunner for this accolade.
“An eye for detail is essential and I always take a long, hard look at how the silhouette appears and how the different fabrics drape to flatter the individual’s figure” Julia also works alongside former Paul Smith and Ozwald Boateng Chief Designer, Simon Horsley. His menswear brand ‘Crow and Jester’ is favoured by film stars, celebrities and business men.
The JS Couture Evening and Business Collections can be viewed in her Knightsbridge showroom or by booking a private client appointment in Lichfield. Her 2018 Evening Collection is extremely haute couture and has an essence of romance, featuring lace, cuffs and rose adornments. The Business Collection is full of seasonal chic, using luxurious fabrics from Saville Row’s famed Holland and Sherry. Julia works with cashmere, boucle’s, tweeds, and always with her own signature accents and details.
Julia’s love of fashion stems from an early age, marvelling at the creations her seamstress mother used to design and make for her. Truly an inspiration but what success tips can she offer ‘Mama Life” readers: “Have a can-do attitude always. By that I mean create a clear vision for your life, keep the standards high and never take second best in anything you do,” Julia advised.
One of the latest creations is a classy but edgy fairy-tale style wedding dress for “The Voice” finalist, Liss Jones. She is also currently working on the Mother of the Bride outfit for Madeleine Cotter whose daughter Eleanor, is the Producer of BBC’s Loose Women.
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Julia’s Couture is in increasing demand with projects in progress for some of the most talented and successful women across the UK.
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I built my brand as a single Mother. For some that has negative connotations, but I seized the opportunity of certain freedom this permitted me, and the drive it gave me of wanting the best for my son and loved ones
Her top tips are… •Stay focused and avoid sidetracks •Avoid those that criticise, and be far too busy with your dreams to have the time to judge others •Believe in you and your talents, accept that certain people won’t understand your vision and avoid trying to please everyone •Always protect your brand. You cannot be in control of everything and as you go national the tabloids can be one of those things. •Be wary as the higher you climb the more challenging it will become as they are always looking for a story •Take advice but put your gut instinct at the forefront •Build a team of like-minded people around you, as a leader you must set the standards •Ensure you have the work-life balance tipped slightly in favour of ‘life’ •Family first Above all, make sure it is fun!
For an appointment visit the website www.juliasuzuki.com or call 0333 3220042 // Email@juliasuzuki.com ISSUE 07/ MAR 2018 / 28
ISSUE 07 / MAR 2018 / 29
BARLOW’S book reviewS
Welcome to this month’s book review column. It’s a breezy March day and sure, there are a million and one things I could be doing but as usual I’m curled up in in my favourite chair alongside my mad cocker spaniel and am dodging the weekend chores by reading! This issue I’m bringing you four of the best Spring reads that are a must! Love Christie x Barlow’s Book Reviews @ChristieJBarlow First of all can we just take a look at the cover … All of Fern’s covers are utterly gorgeous and this one is no exception … in fact it’s my favourite one yet! The second I opened up this book I was transported to the Cornish coast and this book is a definite must read for all. When the only place you want to be is home… When Ella’s beloved grandmother dies, she comes back to the beautiful Cornish coast to heal her heart. There she finds her home again and discovers a new life, and new love … But she also opens a treasure trove of secrets. Sennen left Cornwall a young single mum but unable to cope. She left her children, her family and part of her. She’s spent the years hiding from her past, hiding from herself. Now it’s time to come back. To Cornwall. To face her mistakes. To pray for forgiveness. To hope for a future with her daughter. Pendruggan: A Cornish village with secrets at its heart. You will love this emotional and gripping read. Escape to Cornwall the gorgeous new novel from Sunday Times best-selling author Fern Britton.
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Kimberley Chambers never fails to disappoint. Life of crime was a truly brilliant addictive read with more twists and turns than a broken sat nav! Just WOW! Dragged up on a council estate, Jason Rampling was determined to change his lot. Jason’s a chancer, shameless with his good looks and his gift for earning a few quid. Life is easy when the money rolls in. Some people are ruined by it. Melissa thought she’d struck gold marrying Jason. Being on his arm meant she was finally a someone. But there’s no glamour in waiting for your husband to come home, or waiting for a knock on the door. Melissa made her bed the day she made her vows – will she lie in it without a fight? Some would kill for it
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The Girl on the Beach, is a great story with lots of intrigue that pulls you in right from the very first chapter. Who is Harry Dixon?
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When Ellie Golden meets Harry Dixon, she can’t help but feel she recognises him from somewhere. But when she finally realises who he is, she can’t believe it – because the man she met on the beach all those years before wasn’t called Harry Dixon. And, what’s more, that man is dead. For a woman trying to outrun her troubled past and protect her son, Harry’s presence is deeply unsettling – and even more disconcerting than coming face to face with a dead man, is the fact that Harry seems to have no recollection of ever having met Ellie before. At least that’s what he says …
Green Gables, Longdon WS15 4PT | The Palace, The Close, Lichfield WS13 7LH
But perhaps Harry isn’t the person Ellie should be worried about. Because there’s a far more dangerous figure from the past lurking just outside of the new life she has built for herself, biding his time, just waiting to strike.
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A gripping read for fans of Sue Fortin, Liane Moriarty & L J Ross.
Fresh pasta, red wine, fine art… and love? Find enchantment this year in the magical city of Florence. Over the past twelve months I’ve become a huge fan of T.A.Williams’ writing and his latest book is easily one of my favourite books by him so far. When Debbie Waterson’s bicycle crashes into handsome doctor Pierluigi, she wonders if her luck has changed. Determinedly single after ending a long relationship, at last, a man worth bumping into! Inspired to visit Florence, she soon runs headlong into that old foe: reality. But is Pierluigi the man of her dreams? Then there’s her booze obsessed boss, his forbidding secretary and her noisy inconsiderate neighbours. But could her luck be about to change? Will she find love after all? Warm-hearted and unputdownable, Dreaming of Florence is the perfect escape and feel good fiction at its best.
MENOPAUSE
Dimension
Landscape & Driveways Ltd
by Alex Sullivan PG Dip (SCPHN), RM BSc (Hons), RN Dip HE
Why not invest in a new driveway or patio to enhance the appearance and add value to your property?
A
s a woman in my (early) 40’s, I cannot help but spend time considering the time in my life yet to come, known as the menopause. This is something that causes me some anxiety as I have worked with almost solely women for the past 19 years of my life and I have seen some sights, I can tell you. Whether it be the hot flushes, the mood swings, waning menstrual cycles or sudden outbursts of anger and tears, you name it, I’ve most likely sat next to someone who’s gone through it. With that in mind, I decided I would go into this period of my life forearmed with facts rather than myths.
What is the menopause?
According to Women’s Health Concern, the menopause is the time in a woman’s life when her periods stop, and her ovaries lose their reproductive function. “Hoorah” I hear you cry, if like me you can’t wait to see the back end of that monthly (in my case, comes without warning) cycle of stomach cramps, tearfulness, sore boobs, bad skin and just downright “blurgh” feeling. The time leading up to the last menstrual period is known as the “perimenopause” or “premenopause” dependant on what literature you read. This is all caused by a change in hormones, namely Oestrogen. Oestrogen is the hormone in a womans body which controls the reproductive cycle. In a nutshell, Oestrogen does a nose dive during the menopause and this leads to the delightful symptoms which many (not all) women experience.
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What to expect during the menopause
Whilst this is not an exhaustive list, it is essential to point out that some women cope with the menopause extremely well and report few or no symptoms at all. 1. Hot flushes – probably the most commonly associated symptom with being menopausal. Many women describe it as a creeping heat all over the body moving up over the neck and face into the brow. Whilst hot flushes are a symptom of menopause, they are also something worth checking out with your GP as they can be symptoms of other underlying conditions as well. Some top tips for reducing these are, cut down on caffeine, stop smoking, cool the room, wear removable layers, using layers in bed rather than a duvet and reduce alcohol intake.
2.Night sweats – This is something you should definitely speak to your GP about, in particular if they are regular, preventing you from sleeping, or you are also losing weight without explanation at the same time. Manage night sweats by cooling the room with a fan or opening windows and reducing bedding and clothing where possible. 3. Reduced sex drive – Whilst this is more often attributed to relationship issues, stress or fatigue, it can also be associated with low hormone levels. The treatment for this is often more psychological than physical, therefore, consider seeking support from RELATE or a psychosexual counsellor. 4.Vaginal dryness – (I don’t know about you, but I am TOTALLY looking forward to menopause….) Another symptom that is associated with menopause and decreasing levels of oestrogen. This can be managed by using lubricants during sexual intercourse (I may stock up from Ann Summers) and good sexual arousal (note to husband – the trick is in the foreplay darling!!) 5. Low mood – well I should think with a dry vagina and no sex drive, you’re bound to feel a bit hacked off, aren’t you? But seriously, low mood is not always depression. It can manifest itself in low self-esteem, anxiety, frustration and anger. As well as your GP being a great resource for managing low mood, increasing activity levels and reducing alcohol and caffeine intake are also great ways for combatting those frustrated blues. Probably one of the biggest concerns about menopause is the reduction in bone density and risk of osteoporosis. There are many things women can do to reduce the risk of this, such as taking regular exercise, having a nutritionally balanced diet (emphasis on the calcium) and getting a bit of sunshine in your life. Oh….. one last thing…..until the Menopause period is complete, you can still get pregnant. Yes that’s right! Many a middle age pregnancy has been conceived by women believing that their childbirth years are behind them and then before they know it, it’s middle of the night feeds AND a hot sweat to contend with, so if in doubt and you are not wanting anymore children (or any at all), DO consider your contraceptive needs. Although with a diminishing libido and a dry vagina, you’d be forgiven for assuming that this is all the contraception you’ll need. For further information and support around the Menopause, contact your GP, your local contraception & sexual health clinic, or simply look online at www.nhs.uk/conditions/menopause
ISSUE 07 / MAR 2018 / 33
Brighter Interiors
Glass Oval Vase Black & White Marble Large £85 www.heals.com
By Rosalie Whitehead www.oneoffinteriors.com
Having spent far more money than you meant to at Christmas, you have little left for your home. With the longer days and brighter light you keep noticing how dingy, dull and uninspiring your rooms look! Your home is your nest, refuge and relaxation space. It deserves all the love you can give it whether it is large or small, bought or rented. However small your budget it is amazing what you can achieve with a little imagination and creativity. Declutter Start at the very beginning. Put aside a few hours to de-clutter and clean. Clutter makes your home look smaller. Sort your clutter into “Throw”, “Charity Shop”, “Give to a Friend” and “sell on ebay” piles. I hope you will feel as good as I feel every time I declutter!
s d n e r T
Marble is everywhere but of course very expensive. White and grey marbles are fine but no colours please this year! A quick internet search throws up videos, classes and online courses in marbling.
Graham & Brown Contour White & Silver Marble £14.00 www.diy.com
Pantone TM colour for 2018 is Ultra Violet 18-3838. This is a beautiful rich colour but may be too strong in large quantities. However, finding accessories, cushions or patterned rugs that incorporate this colour could be a great way to bring in a splash of it.
Voyage Maison Galatea Heather Cushion £44.00 www.turnbullandthomas.co.uk
Bon Jour T Base Table Lamp £372 www.heals.com
26.09
£3 Design g KARE u R a re k tA op Viole w.wayfair.co.u Kelim P ww
D.I.Y IDEA
Marble wallpapers are also available. A quick and easy way to create a new kitchen splashback is to buy sheets of clear Perspex with screw holes already cut for you. These are available on Ebay and elsewhere. Buy your marble wallpaper – or in fact any wallpaper you fancy – paste it to the wall then fix the perspex sheeting on top. Seal around with clear sealant and you have a great splashback you can change at any time.
Bargain Hunting
Lighting gets better all the time. Search out a really interesting pendant light or two and table lamps that can’t be ignored. Large is beautiful in table lamps as are mixed metals and odd shapes Vase £65.99 www.wayfair.co.uk
Zuiver Marble Time Clock White £69.00 www.naken.co.uk
Very on trend are the “New Neutrals” – pastel shades of pink, lavender, mint, lilac and peach. Velvet is also very popular so look for plain and printed velvets and other fabric remnants that can be made into cushions or used to cover a canvas.
You will notice I talk about Ebay and other internet sellers. I admit I use them often as bargains are everywhere. I also trawl charity shops, markets and back-street used furniture shops. What about attending an auction or two? Old dark furniture is going for peanuts at the moment and you can very easily change its look completely with chalk paint or decoupage. Again, classes are available on how to use chalk paints, waxes and paper like napkins to create really original items
MAKE A STATEMENT Muni 32.5cm Novelty Table Lamp £87.99 www.wayfair.co.uk
Pastel Retro Dreams Picture Frame £12.99 www.prezzybox.com
Elegance Allure Mauve Crushed Velvet £7.99 www.juliancharles.co.uk
Plush buttoned velvet headboards are back with a bang. If you have a plain leather headboard consider grabbing the staple gun and covering it with a beautiful patterned or plain velvet. Ebay sellers are offering amazing patterned velvets for as little as £13.99 per metre so for just under £34 you could cover your headboard. When you grow tired of the fabric just remove or replace it.
Gold Starburst Table Lamp £334.00 www.turnbullandthomas.co.uk/
Quin Cocktail Chair, Sky Blue £349 www.swooneditions.com
A single amazing armchair in your lounge can draw the attention away from a rather dated sofa. Look for bargains in sales from made.com, Swoon Editions and other internet – based companies. Sign up for their mailing list and have a quick look through their latest offerings.
AUTISTIC Adults
Trusted financial advisers
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Lana Grant is a specialist advisor and advocate for people with autism and their families. Lana has worked within the field of autism for nearly twenty years. here have recently been more inflammatory headlines across the national press regarding autism. Incorrect statements from “professionals” who claim that the autism epidemic is today what dyslexia was twenty years ago...a middle class excuse for less than perfect
Every time I read these headlines I feel despair. I feel for the parents who are not listened to, I feel for the true professionals and practitioners who know these headlines are rubbish but most of all I feel sad for the many, many autistic people that spend their days justifying their hidden disabilities. I am one of those autistic people. I was not diagnosed until I was 38. By that time I was also a wife and a mother. My diagnosis followed that of one of my children. It also followed many years of mis-diagnosis of depression, bipolar disorder and anxiety disorder. This was coupled with years of self-harm and alcohol dependency to try and make myself appear “normal” and make the world feel less like an alien planet.
Protect your family through careful financial planning At Wealth Design our experienced team of professionals understand the challenges of looking after family generations and their various needs. We can arrange an initial meeting at our expense to learn more about you and identify how we could work together. If you are thinking of working with a financial adviser but are nervous about what to expect, you can go online to find out about our services and meet our highly experienced friendly team who share your family values. For more information, call: 01543 571238 or email: info@wealthdesign.co.uk
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I found relationships difficult with friends, family and partners. I was susceptible to relationships with controlling people who seemed to sense my vulnerability. I struggled at school and college and left jobs in spectacular fashion due to my difficulties being around people. Sometimes, the world hurt. Noises too loud, smells too strong and touch too painful. This was my “normal”. My autism diagnosis came as a relief, it made sense to me and finally I had a reason for finding life so hard. Since then I have worked hard to raise awareness of the presentation and early diagnosis of autism, particularly in females. Through the course of my work I have encountered many women and mothers who present as being autistic, are self-identifying as autistic or very rarely are actually diagnosed. Many of these women are also living with a diagnosis of anxiety, depression, bi-polar disorder and other mental health conditions. Many of these women are also in relationships, working and raising families. Most of the women I speak with are doing this feeling isolated and different. This is wrong. As autistic mothers we need a peer group, a tribe. In 2015 I wrote a book that started out as a description of my life and eventually turned into the first and only book to date, written about the experience of being pregnant and a mother when you’re on the autism spectrum. It was published by Jessica Kingsley Publishers in 2015 and has been used for many research papers since as well as providing support for many women, their families and healthcare providers. In 2016 I set up a group on Facebook called Mums on The Spectrum. I expected to have a group with about 10 members. However, to date we have 2.3k members and new members join daily. The reason for establishing this group was to offer a safe forum for autistic mothers to discuss their lows and also their highs. Many have autistic children but the group is not a place to primarily discuss them, there are many other groups for that. This is a safe group where we can talk about things in a safe space with peers who understand and don’t judge. We can discuss balancing our needs with those of
our families, we can discuss our frustration about employment issues and interactions with professionals. We can also talk about our hopes, worries and fears and we don’t judge.
Motherhood is tough. Autistic motherhood is really tough. It is also massively rewarding. Someone recently asked me if I felt guilty that I had passed my autistic genes onto my children (I have three children on the spectrum). On that day my answer was no. However, ask me on another day and my answer may well be different. That doesn’t mean I shouldn’t be a mother because I’m autistic and I was quick to point this out to the person who asked me the question (an autistic woman who was considering motherhood). It means that sometimes I may need some extra support and understanding. This can only come with early diagnosis of our girls and empowering them with the knowledge that they can do anything they want to because of their autism not despite it. Motherhood throws you into situations that can be difficult and very often unavoidable. From the ante natal groups to the school gates we are placed in situations that we may find uncomfortable. Before my diagnosis I raced through motherhood with anxiety levels that eventually propelled me to my first (not last) breakdown. Through this time I constantly visited the GP to ask for help. I was sent away with patronising smiles and being told that it was just part of motherhood. This was also wrong. Yes, motherhood is stressful, life is stressful but it shouldn’t send you to the depths of depression that I was experiencing. So I began a relay between medics who implied that I was struggling because I was defective. Sensitive and anxious were used as terms that were meant for people who couldn’t quite cope with life because there was something wrong with them. Only when I received my diagnosis did I realise what had been the problem all along. Lack of awareness and support for my autism. It is hard balancing our needs as mothers with our family’s needs but because of the element of perfectionism that we feel we push ourselves and often feel we are not good enough because of our self imposed standards. Would this be different had I known about my diagnosis earlier? Yes, I think it probably would. Many women that I speak to often have had involvement from professionals within the area of health and social care. For lots of undiagnosed autistic women their mothering may not fall into the expected presentation that professionals expect. Some women may be able to carry out the basic caregiving for their chIldren, such as feeding and cleaning but they may not demonstrate physical affection or social interaction and play with their young. Others may be overly attentive to their children. As a society we should be supportive of neurodiversity and embrace it. Lana Grant will be holding meet-ups for autistic women and parent forums within the STAFFORDSHIRE area. For further information contact her on enquiries@lana-grant.co.uk ISSUE 07 / MAR 2018 / 37
Sexting Live entertainment
25th March 2018 Open
£1 entry
11am - 3pm
Refreshments Over 25 stalls
Wilnecote Parish Hall B77 5AD
under 16’s
Truth & Consequences
free
Kids are naturally curious creatures and we should encourage their inquisitive nature and creative minds. We also have a duty of care to our children to educate and protect them. Finding a balance between the two can be tough. As children hit high school their world grows considerably and alongside this their experiences intensify. They are rapidly coming to a time in their life when their bodies aren’t necessarily their best friend. Through puberty and beyond they are changing, growing and becoming curious about adult stuff! Yes mum and dad, that includes sex too.
Any enquiries, please contact Olive: 07588816987 or tamworthvintage@outlook.com
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Mama Life Magazine is online
Many young people admit to being part of the sexting world, particularly those between 14 and 18 years old. So what constitutes sexting and should you be concerned about it? As defined by Kidshealth.org: Sexting (or “sex texting”) is the sending or receiving of sexually explicit or sexually suggestive images, messages, or video via a cellphone [mobile phone] or the Internet. Examples of sexting include sending: •nude or nearly nude photos or “selfies” •videos that show nudity, sex acts, or simulated sex •text messages that propose sex or refer to sex acts
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As a parent the thought of your little precious taking part in this is probably sickening. Both boys and girls today are often put under pressure from peers to send nude and semi-nude selfies. There are a few reasons why kids feel the need to get involved with sexting. Some firmly believe that other kids are already doing it and they will be left out if they don’t join in. This is mostly down to over exaggeration, boasting and plain old fashioned lying from their peers. It can be seen as a way to be cool, popular or a normal part of flirting. Of course it doesn’t help when we are subjected to celebrities sharing sexually explicit images and videos and getting notoriety and well paid for doing so. Shows like Geordie Shore are very popular with young teens while not portraying the best role models. Our kids are going to go through curiosity about their own
body and other people’s, that’s perfectly normal. If teens are old enough to consent then there is little harm in the exchange of ‘sexy’ images between consenting partners. The problem is really one of trust. It takes an enormous amount of trust to be sure the person receiving the image isn’t going to share it now or in the future with friends and family or the whole internet community. Then there is the problem of strangers asking for explicit selfies as part of the grooming process. In the UK possessing an explicit photo of anyone under the 18 is an offence under the child pornography laws – consenting or not. So even if your 17 year old daughter shares a nude selfie with her long term boyfriend he can be prosecuted for being in possession of Child Pornography – scary huh. So how can we deal with this as parents? I feel we need to educate our kids from a young age to respect their body and their privacy. There are various websites that help parents deal with sensitive matters as well as sites that help the children themselves. The NSPCC have created the “Let’s Talk Pants” video which helps younger children understand that their private bits stay private. It’s a good way to start. If your children are older then both Childline and the NSPCC have sections on Sexting they can read for themselves (sometimes it’s better coming from an independent source). We need to make sure our kids understand that they can talk to us, to grandparents, family, friends or teachers if they need to, at any time. A good rule to teach them is “if you wouldn’t show it to Grandma then don’t show it to anyone else”. They don’t understand that images on the internet can come back and haunt them when they are older – they are teens, they are risk takers and live for today, exactly the same way we did at their age! Did we listen to the warnings of our parents – probably not at the time but I bet you still hear your mum or your dad when you are telling your kids off! Teenage years are tough, let’s make sure our kids can talk to us about anything by having conversations about everything as they grow up. By JAN KIERMASZ
www.johnjelly.co.uk ISSUE 07 / MAR 2018 / 39
Victim to VICTOR MY STORY
n o d r a e R h Cheris
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quickly learnt that so many women struggle with confidence and I received lots of messages and reviews from women who had bought one of our dresses and it had made them feel beautiful – I felt so proud to be able to help women feel amazing about themselves through their clothing and I loved being part of so many women’s journeys to loving themselves again and along the way I learnt to love myself too.
I was once told I would never succeed at business as I didn’t have the right personality. I actually believe my personality is what is going to help me get to where I want to be! I am myself and people can relate to that. My customers get to see what it’s like to have a business and be a mum. I am often replying to emails with a baby on one hip and I have in the past been in important meetings sipping pretend cups of tea which my toddler has made for us all as I have had to take the girls along with me. So I may not be your stereotypical business woman, my days can be completely chaotic juggling everything but I genuinely love what I do and couldn’t imagine it any other way! Fast forward to today and in the space of 12 months my confidence has completely changed. Popsy Clothing now has a social media following of 6,000 ladies on Facebook and Instagram who all look to me for fashion advice – surreal! I regularly do Facebook lives showing our dresses, speak to women from all across the world, I am a guest speaker at an event talking to business owners about overcoming anxiety, I have been nominated for a Mums In Business award and my story has been picked up and being published in a book, Mumpreneur on Fire 2, which is being released on Amazon with an official book launch at Waterstones! If I could go back and tell that lonely teenager all she would achieve she would never have believed it!
I do not want to dwell on the past but I do want to share my story so people know they can overcome the affects of bullying and anxiety. Suffering with anxiety and low self-esteem can be an extremely dark place to be but believe me there is light at the end of that tunnel and you can achieve your dreams!
If I can do it, so can you!
I
grew up in Tamworth and unfortunately was seriously bullied during High School. I was tormented on a daily basis and believed their taunts that I was ugly. I received racist comments and I really hated how I looked, especially my big curly hair! Some days I would be the centre of the jokes and others the game would be to ignore me completely and the only person who spoke to me the whole day would be the teacher when she read my name out for registration. I was unbearably lonely, had no friends and was miserable!
During my time at High School I was so anxious leaving the house that my teachers started to send my work home so I could study from there. This meant I often went all week only seeing my parents and little sister. My home was the only place I felt safe, I was terrified that if I left I might bump into somebody from school, even a knock at the door from the postman would make me jump. I spent a lot of time indoors reading books and magazines, this is where my love for fashion developed. I would spend hours looking through fashion mags wishing I had somewhere to go and somebody to actually go with.
The girl who at one point in her life did not have a single friend now has a tribe of 6,000 women behind her, now that is pretty special!
My parents changed my school and although the bullying was in the past I still suffered from the affects from it. I was painfully shy, struggled meeting people and had zero confidence. Not long after leaving school I met Greg, (who I later married). I still find it amazing that he saw past my shyness and he was understanding when he had to order my food in restaurants and patient when I struggled in social situations. Our two little girls were born and I plodded along thankful that I was a stay at home mum as just the thought of sitting in an interview made my heart race. I would have to force myself to the mother and baby groups so the girls weren’t stuck in the house all day. As the girls grew older it was amazing watching their own little personalities develop. They were both confident, bubbly and attracted attention with their beaming smiles wherever we went – the complete opposite to me! I worried my own lack of confidence and anxiety would somehow affect them and they would think it was normal. I didn’t want their personalities to ever change because of me. So in 2016 I decided I needed to make some big changes in my life, for myself and for my family. Greg had grown up in the manufacturing industry and he encouraged me to pursue my love for fashion and to set up a clothing brand. Popsy Clothing was launched and I haven’t looked back! I nervously set up a Facebook page and put on a post introducing myself. I continued to post daily and the response was amazing! We hit 100 followers and I remember feeling on top of the world! As people started buying Popsy dresses the reviews started to come in and our little social media page grew by the day! We set up our website and it was2018 incredible ISSUE 07/ MAR / 40 when our very first order came through!
Photography : Deborah Anne Photography Wardrobe courtesy of Julia Suzuki Hair : Jamie Mitchell Makeup: Rachelle Grimes ISSUE 07 / MAR 2018 / 41
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Workplace BULLYING Most people probably think of their school days when the think of the word “bullying”, however there is a growing concern that bullying occurs on a daily basis in most places of work. That’s right, in the place where we are supposed to behave like adults and to have left those childish ways far in our pasts. Unison, a trade union, published a report that looked at a variety of factors influencing bullying. In a group of females aged 1830 years interviewed, it was found that 33% admitted to being bullied within the past 6 months and a staggering 66% of whom reported that the bullying is ongoing. The government (Gov.UK) defines bullying in the workplace as behaviour which makes a person feel intimidated or offended. Whilst bullying is not against the law, harassment is! Examples of bullying or harassing behaviour include: •spreading malicious rumours •unfair treatment •picking on or regularly undermining someone •denying someone’s training or promotion opportunities Bullying and harassment can happen: •face-to-face •by letter •by email •by phone Bullying can also be demonstrated by ignoring someone’s contributions or purposely leaving them out of conversations and meetings where they would normally have a role.
5. Keep a diary – Keep a record of dates, times, and facts. This is particularly useful if you find yourself needing to provide evidence of what is concerning you. Sometimes when faced with the prospect of taking action, our memories can sadly let us down, therefore having a brief record of events is helpful. 6. Make a formal complaint – This requires you to be brave and to have the courage of your convictions. Taking that step to say “enough is enough” having possibly exhausted all other methods of conciliatory methods, can be quite daunting. However, that is what workplace policies are in place for. What to look for from an employer’s stance on bullying in the workplace: 1. Do they have a policy in place to deal with bullying and harassment? 2. Is there commitment from senior management to address the issues? 3. Do they accept that organisational bullying is a real issue which happens in most places of work? 4. Do they have clear definitions of unacceptable behaviour and a statement that outlines that bullying is a disciplinary offence? 5. Do they have informal and formal complaints procedures?
Whilst most of us know what bullying looks or feels like, the point of this article is to look at ways in which to manage it.
6. Is training provided for ALL staff, including managers/supervisors?
1. Speak to someone – Never be ashamed to share this information with someone. Where you have a Human Resources (HR) department, utilise their expertise in this area. Use work place policies to support your complaint.
Bullying can lead to poor mental health and as such, should be supported by your GP if you are experiencing any symptoms of depression or poor mental health, which you believe to be contributed to by experiences in your work place.
2. Get advice – Whether that be from HR, your trade union (if you have one), your line manager or someone you trust who you know will respond in an appropriate manner.
Further support can be accessed from: ACAS helpline: 0300 123 1100 Citizens Advice Equality and Human Rights Commission
3. Be strong – Comments directed at you or about you which are unkind or downright defamatory, are generally a reflection of the bully’s own shortcomings rather than a narrative of your abilities. 4. Talk to the bully – Occasionally the individual may have no idea that their actions are causing you distress and require having it brought to their attention. This could cause them to have a period of reflection whereupon they could modify their behaviour.
by Alex Sullivan PG Dip (SCPHN), RM BSc (Hons), RN Dip HE ISSUE 07 / MAR 2018 / 45
? w o n K u Did yo Women’s Suffrage in Lichfield and Tamworth
A
hundred years ago, on February 6 1918, the Representation of the People Act was passed by the Liberal government of David Lloyd George and for the first time women were given the right to the vote. The Act addressed the issue of suffrage, basically meaning the right for everyone to have a vote, and the 1918 act resolved this to a certain degree, giving the vote to women over the age of 30 and who owned property valued at £5 or over (or who had husbands that did) and also giving all men over the age of 21 the vote.
The act had a huge impact on the electorate giving approximately 8.5 million women the right to vote for the first time and an additional 5.6 million men. The suffrage movement for women had been led by two main groups – the suffragists, led by Millicent Fawcett who created the National Union of Women’s Suffrage Societies and the suffragettes led by Emmeline Pankhurst who formed the Women’s Social and Political Union. The suffragists believed in changing the law on voting through peaceful demonstration but the suffragettes became frustrated by the lack of action by the government and were in favour of more direct, aggressive militant action such as breaking windows, heckling government officials and chaining themselves to the railings of important government buildings. The suffrage movement was strong in both Lichfield and Tamworth. In June 1912 a large rally was addressed by Lady Frances Balfour, the wife of former Prime Minster Arthur Balfour, at St James Hall 46 / MAR 2018/ ISSUE 07
on Bore Street in Lichfield, now the site of the Wilkos store. In October 1913 there was an open air rally on behalf of the Women’s Social and Political Union on the Market Square. A large crowd was addressed by Miss Reid, a suffragette from London, who spoke about the inequality of women’s pay when compared to that of men’s, saying that there were 5 million working women in Britain and that ‘even in a small place like Lichfield there was a certain amount of female labour’! A further meeting took place in the same week at the Corn Exchange building on Conduit Street where two suffragettes addressed the audience and defended the militant actions of some of their members, even quoting Winston Churchill who said that ‘there is rarely violence without some cause’.
In Tamworth, a branch of the Lichfield Women’s Unionist Association was formed at the Tamworth Assembly Rooms in July 1909 with a strong membership, the meeting was attended by the Mayor and Mayoress of Tamworth, Mr and Mrs Thomas Lowe. The Unionists associated themselves with the suffragist, but not necessarily suffragette, movement. In May 1913 a meeting of the Tamworth and District Trades and Labour Council took place at the Assembly Rooms where a guest speaker, Miss Julia Varley from the Workers Union of Birmingham, spoke about equal pay for female workers and said that she wanted to ‘shake the women of Tamworth out of their sleep’ and that she would be happy to return to Tamworth at a later date to help organise direct action by female workers which earned a rousing round of applause from the audience. The threat of suffragette militancy was always an issue and in several situations it caused overreaction and, at times, panic to set in. Reports emerged in May 1913 that trains may be attacked close to Lichfield Trent Valley station on the Liverpool to London line and local police patrolled the line for several nights but no incidents occurred. In June 1914 two well-dressed suffragettes approached a verger at Lichfield Cathedral and told him that there was a plan to set fire to key buildings such as the Bodleian Museum, King’s College Cambridge and Lichfield Cathedral itself. A strict watch was placed on the cathedral although no attack was ever made. The Tamworth Herald reported that similar safeguards had been placed
upon Tamworth Castle and the recently installed monument to Aethelfleda, Lady of the Mercian’s. A huge fire broke out at Charles Marsden and Sons paper mills of Tamworth in May 1913 causing extensive damage with various rumours that it had been started by suffragettes although it later turned out to have been caused by a faulty wiring circuit! In February 1918 the Representation of the People Act was finally adopted by the government and the women of Lichfield prepared themselves by attending a lecture at the Swan Hotel on Bird Street where the Lichfield branch of the National Union of Women’s Workers listened to a Miss Munro on ‘Why Women Must Use Their Vote’. They would not have to wait long to exercise their newly acquired rights as in December 1918 the first general election took place under the new legislation, with David Lloyd George becoming the leader of a coalition government. It took another 10 long years for the 30+ age restriction to be lifted when the updated act of 1928 finally gave the vote to everyone, male or female, aged 21 or over. The suffrage movement is often connected to the militant tendencies of the suffragette followers but in Lichfield and Tamworth there appears to be a more relaxed and peaceful campaign of votes for all. It is, however, clear from the number of meetings and letters to the local newspapers that the suffrage movement was very much on the agenda and that there was plenty of interest and wide support for the Act that gave women the right to vote in government elections for the first time. Jonathan Oates is a local historian and tour guide for Lichfield who has his own tourism business, Jono’s Tourism. Details of his public talks and tours for 2018 can be found at: www.jonotourism.co.uk Private tours of Lichfield can be arranged for groups from 2 to 22 people, these include costumed tours as Georgian Jono, Victorian Jono, WW2 Jono etc. Private talks can also be arranged for local interest groups, WI’s, Mothers’ Union, U3A’s etc. For further details please contact Jonathan at: T: 01543 268249 M: 07785 757201 E: jonathan@jonotourism.co.uk
THE 5 YEAR RULE By JO HOWARTH
www.thehappinessclub.co.uk
A long time ago, in a land far far away, I was a corporate event manager. I organized conferences, exhibitions and award dinners. I liked most of the people I worked with, sometimes I had fun. And I experienced huge levels of stress and anxiety – I smoked like a chimney, I liked a good drink, I had IBS and eczema, I struggled to sleep and I was tired all the time.
At which point yours truly exploded. We had about 3 hours left until the event was due to start and we hadn’t finished rehearsals yet. I went bananas. Did I mention I was experiencing high levels of stress? I totally lost it in front of my team, my client, the hotel staff, the audio-visual supplier and my boss, AT my boss.
I did not get on with my boss at the time of this story. To be honest I’m not entirely sure what he did. I ran the team, I handled the clients and I organized the events with the help of the team. We had a new client that we were organising an awards dinner for down in London. We spent a year organising the event and the night before the big day my team and I loaded up our van and travelled down to the big smoke.
Luckily for me I got on really well with the client who took me by the shoulders and removed me from the room. We went outside and stood by the river Thames, whereupon I instantly lit a cigarette thinking it was helping me.
We arrived late in the evening, unloaded the van and went to bed. We got up at silly o’clock the next day and began setting up for the event. At lunchtime our celebrity host arrived and we began rehearsals. At about 2pm my boss rocked up to the hotel, having caught the first class train down at a sensible time, had lunch with an old friend in Covent Garden and then deciding to come and join us. He stood at the back of the room watching the proceedings and then called out for us to stop. He said something wasn’t working and he changed pretty much everything about what we were doing. He changed the order of the presentation, he changed the way we were walking up on stage, he changed things around on the set we had built. It took us about an hour to make all the changes he suggested and then we started rehearsals again. He stood at the back of the room and watched again. Then shaking his head, he told us it still wasn’t right. And he changed everything back to exactly how we had been doing it before.
And my client said to me, “You know Jo, when you get yourself in a situation like this one, the question you have to ask yourself is ‘will any of this matter in 5 years time?” I looked at him like he was bonkers, finished my cigarette and went back in to deal with the chaos. But that question stuck with me, thankfully. And I used it a lot over the coming years, thankfully. Because here’s the thing, if you ask yourself that question the answer is invariably ‘no’, because you have no idea where you will be or what you will be doing in 5 years time and because this situation you are in now will have passed by then and will not matter anymore. And if the answer is ‘no’ then why on earth are you getting so wound up by it now? Ask yourself that question today, and every day. Will any of this matter in 5 years’ time? Go, enjoy.
SHEILA’S M.H.S. MENTAL HEALTH SHOW 5 Saturday 21st April 2018 Tickets : £16.50 Starts at 7.45pm – 10pm approx Sheila is back again after 4 successful Sell-0ut shows with another brand new show – Mental Health Show 5. Sheila is a qualified counsellor, a comedienne and the author of ‘The Power of Knowing You’. She will be sharing her experience to highlight self-sabotaging behaviours and educate us on how we can be less hard on ourselves. This show will explore communication and the knock on effects of miscommunication. She will also be showing us more ways we can look after our mental health. As always the show will be a combination of humour and mental health to show us why life is too serious to be taken seriously… besides no one gets out alive anyway! Tickets can be purchased online at www.lichfieldgarrick.com or calling the box office on 01543 412121
ISSUE 07 / MAR 2018 / 47
When Business Assets meet your Personal Life
T
he majority of business owners don’t really plan well enough for the future with catastrophic consequences on divorce or separation. I deal with many financial situations where people haven’t thought this will ever happen to them.
Businesses can be put at risk by far more personal matters, which is why business owners and entrepreneurs ~ large or small ~ need to plan carefully.
If your relationship has broken down, Ansons family law team can provide you with sympathetic expert legal advice on divorce, separation, settling your finances and arrangements for your children. We can help you with: • cohabitation agreement • divorce • separation from an unmarried partner • civil partnership dissolution • arrangements for children Cannock - 01543 466660 Lichfield - 01543 263456 Halesowen - 0121 5500010 www.ansonssolicitors.com
By CLARE WISEMAN
www.irwinmitchell.com
If you are thinking of putting shares in your business in your spouse or partner’s name you need to consider what that will mean if things go wrong. It is best to take advice right at the beginning of the process. There is so much more to untangle particularly if a couple are in business together or family assets are involved. For example, an up and coming business owner ~ male or female ~ who is doing really well and the business is flying ~ does not necessarily think that in X years’ time they might be sitting down talking about whether their current partner will get a share of the business they have built. To make it worse the estranged partner may have additional employment and/or company law rights and claims. Many entrepreneurs think they can argue that they should ‘ringfence’ the business as it was their baby, their endless sleepless nights, pain, sweat and tears that got it to where it is today ~ some like the footballer, Ryan Giggs, seeking to argue that they have some “exceptional quality” or “spark of genius” which inflates their contribution and thus entitlement way beyond that of their spouse. Such arguments are, on the whole, destined to fail with the role of home-maker, and companion having equal importance to the bread-winner. If you have other shareholders/co-owners in the business over and above the couple concerned their security/livelihood can be affected too. There can be all sorts of additional arguments as to: ~ •the value of the company, •what discount, if any, should be applied to the valuation of a minority shareholding, •was the business essentially run as a quasi-partnership or ”lifestyle” business for the whole family, •was the spouse on the books as an employee but not actually working for the company, •what information has been given to HMRC….and the list goes on.
Even once valuation and entitlement has been agreed how will the outgoing partner/shareholder actually be paid? As business owners, having to extract settlement monies can have huge implications for the business. How are they going to get the funds out of the business? What are the tax implications? Can the business even survive? There have been a number of recent high profile divorces where millions of pounds have had to be raised ~ sometimes by institutional investors ~ to fund expensive divorce settlements. These tales of woe are not, however, only relevant to the lives of the rich and famous but to anyone with a business ~ from a soletrader, to small/medium limited company. So, what should you do? In my view, preparation is key. You need to discuss how you want to structure the business when setting up home or entering into a relationship with someone, consider whether you should have a cohabitation agreement; take advice as to how to manage your finances; think about having the right shareholder agreement in place for instance. All this provides you with a sense of stability, insight and knowledge should the worst happen and the personal and/ or business relationship break down. In terms of planning, a very powerful tool might be a prenuptial/ postnuptial agreement. Again, it is a misnomer to think these only apply to celebrity A-listers ~ they can be as important, if not more important, to any couple but especially entrepreneurial ones. People were sceptical about them in previous years, that they would even have an effect, but the law has moved on massively in the past eight years. The case of German paper company heiress Katrin Radmacher in 2010 made that very clear that the Husband should be held to the prenuptial agreement, giving very strong guidance on how prenups should be viewed. This case and others following it have meant that we can be increasingly more certain that a party with business assets will benefit from having a prenup in place. As wedding season approaches I am not suggesting for a minute that we should planning our divorce before our wedding day ~ the wedding knot is for life after all ~ or is it…? As always please don’t hesitate to contact me if you have any questions at: clare.wiseman@irwinmitchell.com. ISSUE 07 / MAR 2018 / 49
ASTROLOGY By THE SECRET CLAIRVOYANT
www.secretclairvoyant.co.uk
Aries
Don’t be surprised if you feel a little anxious during March and into the beginning of April as there is planetary conflict in the heavens. Bang in the middle of March you will encounter an inner conflict so be wary around the 15th to the 18th of the month and avoid hasty actions. A few surprises are in store at the start of April onwards and there is a certain progression that your life will take. You need to make wise choices and give plenty of thought. Others will seem confused and may be going back over emotional elements from the end of last year…don’t react but keep your head up.
Cancer
Fear is a strong emotion and this is something you will have to conquer during March. The mind is getting settled for you now to make a transition in major parts of your life and you need to realise how you really feel at this time. Time to take stock and revaluate what is important in your life now but don’t dwell on the past because you cannot change. Listen good as April is screaming at you to make a difference… Check all around you and make sure it is real .
Libra
The need to relate on a personal level is very much on the agenda into March and April. Deep rooted feelings will leave you feeling a little helpless but don’t worry as there is an answer heading your way in the third week of April. Strong outbursts from others in late April comes as a surprise and there are many revelations that you will be dealing with. Others might be getting the wrong end of things.
Capricorn
The gods of fortune now smile upon you and you will be rewarded plenty which will help your bank balance healthy, but be aware not to fritter away all that you have earned. Emotionally tough decisions you have had to make over the first months of year already, and you need to tread cautiously within relationships. Take care not to entrust your heart to those you do not really know.
50 / MAR 2018/ ISSUE 07
Taurus
The gods are smiling upon you for most of this year although you will have to wait until July to see a sign of what is certain for you. Big decisions will need to be made right from the start of March. Change is required and you are not good at that due to feeling insecure when you don’t know what’s what. Insight and faith in yourself is what you need right now as opposed to what you want… Reach out you will find you can touch it… Turn yourself around and look at what is around you and ask just what it is you want. Have faith all will be revealed in April.
Leo
Use your heart well during March and entrust yourself to others who know you well. Don’t be afraid of what is around the corner as you can sense change which may prove to be challenging. To be prepared is wise especially in April. Take your time on understanding certain situations and think before you make a life changing direction within the home. Remember you only have things to prove to yourself and nobody else so be true. Make a stand and stand tall.
Scorpio
Don’t overdo everything including just what you are not doing. Think ahead and prepare for professional challenges that are heading your way. What you do now in work /career could have prosperous outcomes that will herald a new era later in the year and a very clear direction will be obvious into April. Be careful to listen to family and those that you love as their voices may not be heard. They may be experiencing a tough time and you can be the voice of reason.
Aquarius
Your mind may feel at its wits end of late but do not stress too much unnecessarily over trivial things as you may lose the grounding you have been working so hard for. Financially there is work to do to steady the ship but this must be a gradual process so do not rush into hasty decisions in any way. Others may pose a danger of bringing you into emotional entanglements that are far from easy, with a real danger of illusion. Romantic connotations bring much fortune in love but learn to look deeply within your own heart to understands others.
Gemini
Communication is paramount during the first half of March and you will need to get out there as much as you can. Think on your feet and be quick about it otherwise a big opportunity may be missed. Believe in yourself and others as from around the 16th -20th March there is clarity of thought. Ideas and opportunities will arise in many unexpected ways, so be prepared for all that comes your way and make yourself shine.
Virgo
Nagging feelings all around at the moment? Be cautious and don’t let worry prevail over your actions as there is a danger .Well don’t let them subdue you into areas in which you are not happy or comfortable. It is the long term you need to consider and not the short. Lots of connections with others outside your immediate circles will prove crucial right now. Don’t delay get out there and let other know you are around. There might be things that will need particular attention to in these next coming months especially when it comes to detail.
Sagittarius
New paths and opportunities are around the corner but you need to be able to manage your time. It is essential now to be organised as you can and if you sense that you are not then you have the power to change it. By the end of April you will know for certain where you are heading. If you are having doubts about your career then it is the longer term you need to aim for. You must take clear and concise steps forward now and not leave it until later. Certain opportunities will appear in the coming months you just need to take one step at a time.
Pisces
Like the sign of the fish and its tails make sure you are not heading in different directions in important endeavours. Get in touch with your feelings and be honest about them but don’t get carried away with the ebb and flow of powerful emotions that are around you now. You need to be true to yourself as well as others you care about. Money is coming through sheer hard work but don’t fritter it away.