Sydney MamaMag Dec/Jan 2021 by MamaMag

SYDNEY

mamamAg Dec/Jan 2021

WIN A 5 NIGHT STAY AT PARADISE RESORT GOLD COAST The crap housewife Handbag of happiness Mindful drinking 2020 top toys Veganuary

free Local fun for the Sydney mum 1

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wIndIng up 2O2o Each issue, when I start to write this page, I go through my phone looking for a few fun pics to pop down the side here first. It’s always a nice reflection of the past few months, but as you can imagine the fun has been a bit light on this year. So it was a real treat to have a gorgeous photo from an amazing lunch with a bunch of lovely ladies to include. Even though restrictions have been lifted for a little while now, to be honest I’ve hardly been out. The very first opportunity I got I did have a lovely dinner with my 5 besties, one of whom had had a baby earlier in the year who we hadn’t even met yet, but we were all so excited in each other’s company we forgot to take a photograph! If you can’t post it on Facebook, did it even really happen? So here we are, coming out of Covid like our mate David over there! Well not quite that bad, but it’s certainly not helping the waistline now we’re finally allowed back at the pub and these sunny days are calling for bubbles, spritz and snacks! So what does the Summer hold for you and your family? Lots of family catchups. Holidaying local still? Perhaps a flight to another state. Queensland borders have just reopened as I write this and we’re excited at the prospect of being able to hit the Sunshine State again. Make sure you enter our Paradise Resort Gold Coast competition. Yep another one! Our first Paradise Resort giveaway in Aug/Sept was our most popular competition ever so the fabulous folk at Australia’s favourite family resort are giving one lucky reader another chance to win a 5 night holiday! They spent Covid renovating the whole resort so it’s going to be even more fun to visit! But for now I’ll be here, holidaying at home. Spending time at the beach with the kids and the dog in Summertime bliss. I hope Santa is kind to your families and sending you cheers to a bigger and better 2021. Sarah Cavalier Editor - MamaMag @thecavaliermama

Local fun for the everyday mum

WIN

Contents The Crap Housewife

Worth

$2490

Getting the beef with Jessica Rowe

Talking top toys

We reveal the toys you voted for

Healthy, happy pets this Christmas

How to keep our furry friends safe

Curious minds and creative thinkers

Young children who explore and investigate

Summer essentials

Some of Mama’s top picks for Summer fun

The handbag of happiness

Alannah Hill’s fabulous new book

The mindful drinker

Serial entrepreneur Irene Falcone’s new business

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Turn the page

New book picks for kids and adults

Relationships in the digital age

4 ways to cultivate strong personal relationships

Parklife

Entries are open to VIC & NSW residents only. 5 nights for 2 Adults and up to 2 Children (0-12years) in a Superior Resort Room plus continental breakfast daily. Valid for travel until 16 December 2021 and excludes travel in high and peak periods Flights not included. Competition starts Dec 1st 12.01am and closes Jan 31st 2020 at 11.59pm. Visit www.mamamag.com.au/competitions for full terms and conditions.

Enter at www.mamamag.com.au/paradise

Bungarribee Park, Doonside

Veganuary in January? Some recipes to help you drop the meat

Our active kids Getting kids back into fun classes in 2021

The cosmo comeback

MamaMag is designed and published bi-monthly free for Sydney mums, families and carers.

Publisher: Grizzle Design Pty Ltd. ABN: 26 042 138 550. PO Box 8018 Brighton East VIC 3187 Phone: 1300 771 446 Email: info@mamamag.com.au www.mamamag.com.au | www.grizzledesign.com.au

Bringing back the Cosmopolitan

Reflections on childhood Amanda Stokes’ new book

Becoming infamous

Chatting to Gemma Crowe from Infamous Swim

Kids, dogs and mental health

How a canine companion can help your child

Autistic understanding

2020 has opened many new opportunities

Renovate your relationship

Working on self compassion

Just being a kid

We chat with Diana from Kids Diana Show

Search for perfection 3 ways to embrace race your flaws

MamaMag Dec/Jan 2021

Editor in Chief/Creative Director: Sarah Cavalier: sarah@mamamag.com.au For advertising enquiries contact: Olivia Wilson: olivia@mamamag.com.au Want to write for us or have an article idea? submissions@mamamag.com.au

Click to Subscribe and get MamaMag straight to your inbox The opinions expressed herein are not necessarily those of the publishing staff. Reproduction in whole or part is prohibited without permission of the publishers. Health related articles are designed to be informative and educational. They are not intended to provide specific medical advice or replace one-on-one advice from your health practitioner.

GETTING THE BEEF WITH Jessica Rowe is no stranger to dishing up disasters in the kitchen, but thankfully her meals are tasting better this year thanks to some helpful tips from some of Australia’s best butchers. As a self-confessed crap housewife, Jess is not a cook and she says she will never be a cook! It simply doesn’t bring her joy and she’s ok with that. We put far too much pressure on ourselves to be perfect and that is not life, it’s not realistic, she says. The crap housewife is a badge she wears with pride and it’s a title she wants other women to embrace. For Jess, the idea of ‘crap’ is the reallife messes, hiccups, disasters and bad meals that many of us dish up and deal with every day. This mum is tired of the photos of perfectly packed school lunches, posts about cuisine family dinners eaten together over the table, plus tales of neat, tidy and obedient children with smoothly brushed hair. Why not cut the crap, take the pressure off and admit to the moments, days, weeks and months when the wheels do fall off? The popular TV personality, who blogs about her domestic woes on her website craphousewife.com, has since learnt a lot about cooking meat as host of Meat and Livestock Australia’s Greatest Butcher on Your Block: Ask Your Butcher video series. Jessica admits that one of her main problems with meat was feeling overwhelmed looking at all the raw cuts in the supermarket and having no idea what to do with them. Jess has been working with Meat and Livestock Australia for couple of years now, traveling around the country meeting and interviewing butchers and helping share their fantastic tips. What she has learnt is that butchers are a wealth of knowledge and so helpful. Go in and have a chat (they love a chat!). Find out the best way to cook a certain meat. Ask what’s 6

on special. Nowadays there are so many great meat products at butchers which already have all the herbs, spices and toppings already added to them – all you have to do is get the cooking instructions from them and you have a really delicious meal.

“I’ve always been impatient when it comes to cooking meat. I crank up the temperature and then wonder why the meat’s burnt on the outside and raw on the inside!” Jessica says the hints from working with the butchers have come in very handy. “Carving isn’t that tricky if you ask your butcher the best way to carve your beef or lamb,” she says. “That is the only way I’ve learnt how to do it, by asking. Only recently I baked my first ever butterflied leg of lamb and thanks to the tips it was a huge hit with the family!”

How to carve meat like a pro

After allowing your leg of lamb to rest, turn it over and slice off the underside piece of meat. Ensure you keep the knife hard against the bone. Put this to one side. Turn the leg back over. Remove the shank and run your knife down the middle of the leg, keeping the point of the blade hard against the leg bone. Ensure you cut along both sides of the bone, divide the remaining section of lamb into two pieces. You should now have three pieces of meat. Take each piece and cut against the grain into manageable slices for serving. Make sure your knife is sharp to make carving easier.

THE CRAP HOUSEWIFE So when Jess isn’t making a meaty mess in the kitchen she’s juggling life with her husband (Peter Overton), her two daughters Allegra, 13, and Giselle, 11, their two stunning cats and the pet dog! We asked Jess about her crap housewife journey. “I’m proud to say I’m a crap housewife and I love sharing that with my tribe. I began posting about my real life on social media and my website for me about five or six years ago. To actually say “this is my real life”. I was sick of seeing people’s airbrushed lives online. It was time to embrace the real. Parenting can be lonely. It’s hard. You think it’s just you but it’s not and it’s hard to see all the perfect lives that get portrayed on social media. I love that my platform can help people connect and show that you don’t have to be perfect. I’ve met all these other amazing people online who are also fellow crap housewives. We can have a laugh, share recipes. It’s a beautiful tribe of supportive encouraging women. No one has it all together all the time. If they say they do, they are lying. I’m 50 years old now and I love getting older. The older I get the more I care less about worrying about what other people think!“

When asked if she had a funny parenting story Jess actually snort-laughed when she thought of this one! “I love fashion and wearing a sparkly top, but when I’m home I love being casual and wearing PJs around the house. When the kids were a bit younger there was a day when I was extra tired and it was time for school pickup. I thought I could get away with wearing PJs in the car if I didn’t get out. Allegra’s face when she saw me said it all. “Don’t you dare get out of the car”. But I did get out and the teachers saw, her friends saw, she was mortified! The next day I made sure I got dressed but I had no shoes on and she was highly unimpressed by that too. Day three? I’ve listened to the kids. I got to school, dressed tick, shoes tick, all good. So we headed off to a playground after pickup. The girls were playing in the sandpit and Allegra looked up at me standing above her and said “Mum, you’re not wearing any underpants”. I’d forgotten that all important thing under my pretty skirt. Oops. Allegra’s face turned to thunder as all the other parents and I laughed and laughed. Ever since “no PJs, shoes and undies on” has become a bit of a checklist for us as I head out the door and I’ve proudly ticked all those boxes since. See I’m not so crap after all!

Warm lamb salad by Steve Rosevear of Steve’s Fine Meats, Carlingford. Serves 4 Ingredients 600g lean lamb rump steaks, fat trimmed 2 tbsp olive oil 1 red onion, cut into wedges 1 small cauliflower, cut into florets 350g kent pumpkin, peeled, cut into 4cm wedges 2 zucchini, thickly sliced 2 tbsp dukkah 2 tbsp tahini Zest and juice of 2 small lemons + wedges to serve 80g baby rocket 400g can lentils, rinsed, drained 80g feta cheese, crumbled Mint leaves, to serve Method Preheat oven to 200°C (180°fan-forced). Line two large baking trays with baking paper. Spread onion, cauliflower, pumpkin and zucchini in one layer onto trays. Drizzle with half the oil, season and toss to coat. Cook for 25 minutes or until vegetables are tender. Set aside to cool slightly. Meanwhile, brush lamb with remaining oil, season and sprinkle with dukkah. Cook lamb in a non-stick frying pan over medium-high heat for 2-3 minutes each side or until cooked to your liking. Rest on a plate loosely covered with foil for 5 minutes. Thinly slice lamb. In a screw top jar combine tahini, lemon zest and juice and 2 tablespoons water. Season and shake well to combine. Place baby rocket, vegetables, lentils and feta onto a serving platter. Toss gently to combine. Drizzle with tahini dressing. Top salad with lamb, sprinkle with mint and serve with lemon wedges. Extra tips • Leftover slow cooked lamb leg or shoulder also works well in this recipe. Lamb leg steaks, fillet or backstrap would also be delicious in this recipe. • Ensure you rest the lamb after cooking to maximise tenderness and juiciness. • Try sweet potato, beetroot or tomatoes. Chickpeas, your choice of beans or quinoa would be great substitutes for lentils. 8

Check out Australia’s Greatest Butcher campaign here.

Honey soy oyster blade steak by Sarah Wadland, Farmgate to Plate, Miranda.

Serves 4 Ingredients 4 x 150g oyster blade steaks 1/4 cup soy sauce 2 tbsp honey 2 tsp grated ginger 2 garlic cloves, grated 1 tsp sesame oil To serve: 2 bunches Asian greens, steamed, sautéed, or grilled Steamed rice Toasted sesame seeds, optional Method Combine soy sauce, honey, ginger, garlic, and oil in a large ceramic dish or zip-top bag. Add steaks and turn to coat with

marinade. Allow meat to marinate for 20 minutes, as it comes to room temperature. Preheat BBQ or a heavy-based skillet to medium-high. Drain excess marinade from steaks and cook for 2 - 4 minutes per side, or until cooked to your liking. Transfer cooked steaks to a clean plate, cover loosely with foil and rest for 5 minutes. Serve steaks and resting juices with steamed rice, greens, and sesame seeds. Extra tips • This marinade will pair perfectly with other steak cuts too. Try rump or sirloin, adjusting cooking time as necessary.

Coconut beef curry by Brad Callahan, Auburn Meadow Meats, Rose Bay. Serves 4 Ingredients 1kg beef chuck, cubed ¼ cup olive oil, divided 1 brown onion, diced 3 garlic cloves, crushed 1 tbsp grated ginger 2 tbsp curry powder 2 x 400ml tins coconut milk 1 cup water 500g cauliflower florets 200g snow peas salt & pepper steamed rice, lime wedges, fresh coriander leaves and sliced spring onion to serve. Method Pat beef dry with paper towel and season with a good pinch of salt and pepper. Drizzle 1 tbsp oil into a large heavy-based pot over medium-high heat. Add half the beef, cook for 4 mins to brown, and

transfer to a plate. Repeat with remaining beef and a further 1 tbsp oil. Reduce heat to medium and add onion, garlic, ginger, and remaining oil to the pot. Cook for 2–3 mins, stirring regularly, until onion begins to soften. Add curry powder to onions and cook 30 seconds further. Add coconut milk and water and stir well. Return browned beef and any resting juices to the pot. Bring curry to the boil then reduce heat to low, cover, and simmer for 90 mins. Add cauliflower to the curry and return to a simmer. Cook, uncovered, for 15–20 mins until beef and cauliflower are tender. Stir through snow peas and cook for 3 mins further. Serve curry with rice, coriander and some lime wedges. 9

talkIng TOP toys When the Australian Toy Association asks for your help to find out what real kids and parents thought were the top toys for 2020, you say YES! Thank you to the hundreds of readers who voted for your favourites in our November survey. From over 300 amazing toys, we narrowed it down to the top 10 in each age category and are thrilled to present them here!

Top 10 hottest toys for 1-2 Years

LeapFrog Speak & Learn Puppy – VTech Electronics Globber Explorer Trike 4 in 1 – Active Outthere Little Tikes Cozy Coupe – MGA Entertainment LEGO® DUPLO® 10931 Truck & Tracked Excavator – LEGO Australia Care Bears Unlock the Magic – Headstart International Little Tikes Activity Garden – Bensons Trading Company LEGO® DUPLO® 10915 Alphabet Truck – LEGO Australia The Wiggles Big Red Car Infant Walker – Hunter Leisure Kinderfeets 2-in-1 Tiny Tot Trike – Artiwood Educational Toys First Sorting Kit – Edx Education

Top 10 hottest toys for 3-5 Years

Bluey Bike Range – Hunter Leisure Bluey Family Home Playset – BBC Studios Australia Connetix Tiles Creative Pack – Connetix Tiles Hot Wheels Monster Trucks Scorpion Sting Raceway – Mattel Sylvanian Families Adventure Tree House – Modern Brands Trolls 4.5ft Junior Trampoline & Enclosure with Sound – Plum Products Tobi Smartwatch + Robot – MGA Entertainment Baby Alive Grows Up Baby – Hasbro Australia Kinderboard Natural – Artiwood Educational Toys Bluey Family Backyard BBQ Playset – BBC Studios Australia

Top 10 hottest toys for 6-10 Years

Moochies Smartphone Watch – Funtastic Limited Globber Flow 125 Scooter – Active Outthere LEGO® Super Mario 71360 Adventures – LEGO Australia KidoCall smartwatch phone with GPS tracking – Avantco (Aus) / Cactus Kidizoom Studio Video Camera – VTech Electronics Slackers Ninjaline Intro Kit – Modern Brands Barbie Food Truck – Mattel NERF Ultra Pharaoh – Hasbro Australia Crayola Marker Airbrush – Crayola Australia Razor Hovertrax Prizma with LED Lights – Funtastic Limited

GLOBAL SCREEN PRESENTS A PRODUCTION BY HENNING FERBER FILMPRODUKTION AND WARNER BROS. FILM PRODUCTIONS GERMANY IN CO-PRODUCTION WITH TRAUMFABRIK BABELSBERG AND SUEDSTERN FILM WITH NICO MARISCHKA BELLA BADING SEBASTIAN BEZZEL MATTHIAS HABICH ANNA MARIA MÜHE JUSTUS VON DOHNÁNYI CHRISTOPH LETKOWSKI JOHANN VON BÜLOW JANA PALLASKE KIDS CASTING JACQUELINE RIETZ CASTING EMRAH ERTEM MAKE-UP ASTRID MARIASCHK COSTUME CHRISTINE ZAHN PRODUCTION DESIGN JOSEF SANKTJOHANSER SOUND ANDRÉ ZACHER SOUND MIX ADRIAN BAUMEISTER MUSIC ENIS ROTTHOFF EDITING NICOLE KORTLÜKE PHOTOGRAPHY MARTIN SCHLECHT SCREENPLAY JANE AINSCOUGH BASED ON THE NOVEL “LASSIE COME HOME” BY ERIC KNIGHT COPRODUCERS MARCUS WELKE TOM ZICKLER CHRISTOPH FISSER PRODUCER HENNING FERBER DIRECTOR HANNO OLDERDISSEN © LCH Film UG / Henning Ferber Filmproduktions GmbH / Südstern Film GmbH & Co KG / Traumfabrik Babelsberg GmbH / Warner Bros. Entertainment GmbH

happy, healthy pets thIs It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas! However, a busy house full of guests and noise can be very stressful for animals, and all those tempting decorations and foods can pose significant risks. Read on to see how you can ensure your four-legged companion enjoys the festivities safely. The season of cheer brings with it all sorts of new sights and smells, and a change in routine for animals. Help your pet have a healthy and happy Christmas by being prepared, and by following RSPCA NSW’s top tips.

Be aware of uncomfortable noises If you’re hosting celebrations this year, exercise pets before visitors arrive. This helps them de-stress, and makes them more inclined to nap once festivities begin. It’s also important to create a quiet, safe place for your pet away from the festivities, as even the most social animals will need a break. Dogs can also enjoy the time alone to play with enrichment toys such as a filled Kong. It may also help to play music or leave the television on to mask the sounds made by guests. The same applies during New Year’s Eve festivities, when many pets will struggle with the sounds of fireworks. An additional risk is that animals may flee to escape the noise, and become lost. It’s therefore vital to keep microchip and registration details up to date, and ensure pets are wearing appropriate identification.

Be careful with what they eat Christmas food is among some of the most dangerous for animals to consume, so resist that pleading face, or you could spend Christmas at a veterinary emergency hospital. Pets should never be given alcohol, avocado, chocolate, Christmas pudding, coffee, cooked bones, currants, fruit cake, grapes, gravy, ham, lollies, macadamia nuts, marinades, onion, pork, raisins or sugarless gum.

Some pets will do anything to get their paws on Christmas treats, jumping onto tables or mauling through bags. Keep an eye on animals and be on the lookout for any changes in appearance or behaviour. These will vary depending on the type of pet and food eaten, but can include diarrhoea, excessive panting, lack of coordination, muscle twitching, poor breathing and vomiting. If your pet eats anything they shouldn’t, take them to an RSPCA veterinary hospital or your local veterinarian as quickly as possible.

Keeping an eye on chewable decorations Christmas decorations, including candles, should be kept well out of their reach of pets. A plastic or glass tree ornament may look like a tennis ball to a dog, but if one breaks in his mouth, it could damage his tongue and intestines. Edible decorations, such as candy canes, are also tempting, but could prove fatal. Hanging decorations at the top of the tree will help reduce this risk. Sparkly ribbon, tinsel, tree lights and wrapping paper also pose threats. Cats may enjoy chewing and pawing these, but risk strangulation. And if swallowed, gift wrapping materials can obstruct an animal’s intestines. Make sure to clean these up quickly, and look out for the warning signs of consumption, including decreased appetite, diarrhoea, listlessness, vomiting and weight loss. Floral arrangements containing holly, mistletoe, lilies and poinsettias are all poisonous and potentially fatal to pets.

Make it special for them If you’re looking for safe ways to make your pet’s Christmas memorable, try mixing some treat food in with their regular food, or creating a treasure hunt of regular dry food. There are plenty of animal-friendly recipes online, such as pooch-friendly pupcakes. Just ensure the recipe doesn’t contain anything that could upset their stomach.

chrIstmas Many human foods cause illness, so avoid giving your dog: • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

avocado chives chocolate citrus fruits coconut and coconut oil coffee cooked bones cooked manufactured meat garlic grapes milk nuts onions raw yeast dough salt sausages and sausage meat tomatoes

And avoid letting your cat eat the following: • • • • • • • • • • •

avocado chocolate coffee cooked bones cooked manufactured meat garlic grapes milk nuts onions sausages and sausage meat

Christmas is one of the busiest times of the year for the RSPCA, with thousands of unwanted and neglected animals coming through our doors over the festive season. By donating, you’ll be helping an animal in need, giving them the love and care they need to recover and prepare for the next stage of their life. Click to donate today.

CURIOUS MINDS AND Young children have an instinctive drive to explore and investigate, from babies crawling intently towards a basket of soft toys to active school age children, running excitedly into a playground. Children are naturally curious and find fascination with many things that we as adults, with our busy day-to-day lives can avoid or easily overlook such as puddles, zips on clothes, light and shadow. Children will want to take time to stay, watch and play and sometimes no amount of hurrying can distract them. Children’s focus is on the here and now and they can become completely immersed in their play. Einstein is credited with saying that play is the highest form of research. Play is children’s way of making sense of everything around them. They are infinitely curious about their world, wanting to touch and hold things, and asking questions with ‘why?’ and ‘how come?’ in their efforts to understand how their world works. And often children’s inquiring minds can have us reaching for the nearest device to research the answers to their questions! So why can we sometimes see the moon in the sky during the day? (it’s all about light and reflection), or why do the bees buzz? (creates vibrations to shake pollen). Their questions remind us how much they know and how eager they are to know and understand more.

Play is children’s way of making sense of everything around them. Unstructured play time gives children important opportunities to experiment, to work things out in their own way, in their own time and develop early problem-solving skills. Indoors or outside, they practice these skills through testing things out, managing the little mistakes and experiencing success. Children develop an understanding of cause and effect, for example kicking a ball softly means it rolls along the ground but kicking it harder makes it bounce 16

off the wall. How satisfying! Making something happen motivates children to repeat their actions and keep trying - can I make it happen again? A baby is experimenting in the same way when they play with a toy where pushing on buttons creates a sound or makes an animal suddenly pop up. Experimenting in this way helps to develop their focus and concentration, and adapt to change. Children have an amazing capacity for noticing the smallest of details – tiny flowers in grass, that loose thread on the car seat. Nature has a rich supply of small details. The natural world beckons children – it is the ultimate unstructured play space, filled with play possibilities for curious minds. Stones, leaves, herbs, sticks, earth, water, sand, rocks, feathers and trees provide opportunities for children to explore with all their senses.

Children have an amazing capacity for noticing the smallest of details Children can investigate different textures, colour hues, scents, flexibility and dimensions. They will delight in using real equipment as part of their play, for example magnifying glasses, bug catchers, microscopes and flower presses. Using these items encourages children to explore the finer details of their world and make new discoveries - what does bark look like up close, or a dandelion flower. In the flurry of activity around the end-of-year celebrations, family events and shopping for gifts, simple play items can be a great stand-by to support young minds to think creatively and develop their imagination. When considering what play items are suitable for children, simple is often the best way to go and usually easier on the budget as well. Basic everyday items support children to invent and refine their own ideas, look at different possibilities and develop more complex play. Children are active learners

CREATIVE THINKERS and the more they can be involved with the ‘doing’, with being hands-on, the more engaged they are in their play. Playdough is a great medium for hands-on play. It can be manipulated into endless shapes and adding a few simple objects, such as gumnuts, leaves or even some spare Christmas tinsel will spur children to think in creative ways, talk about their ideas as they play alongside their siblings and friends and imitate other’s ideas. And the old favourites still work! Cardboard boxes that are big enough for children to safely get into and out of, are a versatile resource where their imaginations can take over. Dress ups, bags and scarves are popular. An old sheet or curtain draped over a table can become a secret world where creative play ideas will flourish. Being inquisitive, having a curious disposition and thinking creatively are part of the magic of childhood. By Sabina Klepp, Education Practice Partner, Story House Early Learning www.shel.edu.au

Summer essentIals A pair of thon gs so comfy and supportiv never want e, you’ll to take them off your feet family wear ! Our whole these and th e kids are tota snobs now. l thong Archies or no thing! Coral Support Th Archies Arc ongs $35. ar h chiesfootwea r.com.au

e ithout th onday w &T Pack M a n o drink holic G Want to day Non-Alco al deal, n o as the re morning. M d t? o o g guil s e a t th stly jus head in is hone blends ty sore y s a tl c n e e t th day perf tanicals like n o withou M d distille nd bo a Locally dients a inchon &T ingre on, lime and c G ic s at is s th cla m e s le , a s b berrie s G&T ts juniper deliciou gredien reate a c itional in Classic d to d a rk h ba it y w a d d . Mon lstere then bo e variety nks.com.au g on th dri in s d n n a e s p T de lic G& o h o lc A Non-

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Two separate compartments in this Feather and Noise Sprinkled Soiree Cooler Bag give you heaps of space for your favourite drinks and snacks. The insulated and water-resistant lining will keep everything cold, and the super strong handle means you won’t have to skimp on your favourite treats. $89. featherandnoise.com

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They say, ‘Things can only get better…’ and they have at Infamous Swim with a revamp of the much loved Candice one piece with wide straps for great support and a shelf bra with removable cups. Just what Mama’s girls need. We’re loving this Sun Leopard colourway. $138 www.infamousswim.com.au

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How stunning (and massive) is this Picnic Season Leopard Love Story Really Big Picnic Rug collab with artist Deb McNaughton? These rugs are 2.9m x 2.9m, fully waterproof and the prettiest things in the park! Mama’s already got an older design, but now she wants a new one! $199 picnicseason.com

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places we swIm It’s not a coincidence that the most water-obsessed city in the world also has the highest concentration of ocean pools (aka rockpools and ocean baths). These outdoor family-friendly swimming spots are carved into the landscape at almost all parts of the city and form de facto public squares. They come in all shapes, sizes and depths. They can be rugged and natural bottomed like Mahon Pool or slick and angular like Bilgoa Rockpool. From Palm Beach to Cronulla, they are so interwoven into Sydney communities that it is hard to imagine the city without them. Of course we couldn’t feature them all but here is our pick from across the city.

City: Redleaf Pool, Double Bay A hidden, harbourside tidal pool, with twin pontoons and lush garden surrounds. Distance from CBD 4km/6 min drive Address 536 New South Head Rd, Double Bay Cost of entry Free Kid friendly Yes Ideal tide Mid to high Open hours 24 hours Facilities Outdoor showers, change rooms and toilets, cute outdoor cafe

Part of Redleaf’s magic is the secret of its location. The pool is hidden behind the Woollahra Council building on a busy stretch of New South Head Road in Double Bay. There is an undeniable feeling of discovery every time you descend from the road and pass through Blackburn Gardens. It’s the tingle of a secret whispered into your ear. A wall of jasmine washes the street off your body and Moreton Bay figs and jacarandas extend in an unbroken canopy above. Then the pool slowly comes into view. First, it’s just the wooden walkway around the perimeter. Then the enormous scale is revealed. The swimming enclosure is among the largest in Sydney, at about 90x65 metres, with twin pontoons floating along the centre. Finally, the sandy beach and tiered lawn lead up to a low-slung, old-school pavilion. Inside we find simple change rooms with hot showers on one side and the Redleaf Pool Cafe on the other. 20

Northshore: Northbridge Baths, Northbridge A beloved netted community bath deep in Middle Harbour. Distance from CBD 10km/18 min drive Address 2 Widgiewa Rd, Northbridge Cost of entry Free Kid friendly Yes, as friendly as they come. Ideal tide High tide feels cleanest and looks best. Open hours 24 hours Facilities Changerooms, showers, barbecues, basic kiosk on weekends.

This tidal harbour pool is the perfect excuse to explore Middle Harbour and its surrounding suburbs. Enveloped in a dense backdrop of Sydney red gums, the netted swimming enclosure sits at the base of Forsyth Park in Sailors Bay, surrounded by the bobbing masts of boats bigger than our Bondi apartment. Houses cling to the steep hillsides, thanks to incredible feats of engineering. A sign on entry suggests that if the water smells funky, it probably is, but the only aroma we inhale is the sweet scent of the bush in the salty, humid December air. Being so deep into Middle Harbour, the calm water acts like an estuary, and is often a couple of degrees warmer than the ocean. Like most harbour pools, it’s best to avoid swimming here within 48 hours of heavy rain, when water can be contaminated by the recent run-off.

Eastern Beaches: Mc Iver’s Ladies Baths, Coogee The last women’s only swimming pool in Australia Distance from CBD 10km/22 min drive Address 145–149 Beach Rd, Coogee Cost of entry $2 Kid friendly Women and children only Ideal tide Low to mid Open hours 7am - 7pm Facilities Brick sunbathing area, change rooms, amenities block and small clubhouse

There is some kind of unspoken sisterhood established between swimmers at the sanctuary that is McIvers Ladies Bath – the last women’s only swimming pool in Australia. It might be a nod, eye contact in the water or a gentle smile as you arrive. Tucked into the cliffs between Coogee Beach and Wylie’s Baths, this is a meditative space to escape and relax. Throw a $2 coin into the donation basket and follow the cream-coloured balustrade as it winds down the hill, leading you to the sunlit pool overlooking Coogee Bay. Since 1876, ladies have swum laps and read books in the sun here, with the company of others, giving women of all swimming abilities and cultural backgrounds a safe way to experience the ocean. It is the last remaining women’s-only seawater pool in Australia and has been in continuous use since its establishment. The State Government granted the pool an exemption from the New South Wales Anti-Discrimination Act in 1995. 21

Northern Beaches: Bilgoa Rockpool A 50-metre ocean pool in a hidden valley below Bilgola’s high‑rise plateau. Distance from CBD 33km/50 min drive Address 1 The Serpentine, Bilgola Beach Cost of entry Free Kid friendly Yes Ideal tide All tides Open hours 24 hours, but it closes for cleaning Tuesdays. Facilities Change rooms, toilets, picnic area

At the base of a steep coastal valley studded with cabbage palms, Bilgola is usually a quiet place and one of the Northern Beaches’ most concealed 50-metre swims. We’re sure if you didn’t know it was here, you’d easily drive right past this coastal enclave. In fact, it’s hard to see Bilgola from almost anywhere else. The land rises steeply behind the beach to Bilgola Plateau and then descends to Clareville on the western side of the peninsula. Houses pepper the valley walls, with 3000+ residents united by a love of the precipitous waterfront location. From the pool, you can look down the length of the 500-metre beach, where waves roll and crumble over sandbars, making it a mellow place for beginner surfers, and those escaping the crowds at popular neighbouring breaks. Weekdays are leisurely here, with regular lappers before work.

South: Mahon Pool, Maroubra A hidden ocean pool for the ultimate saltwater hydrotherapy session. Distance from CBD Address Cost of entry Kid friendly Ideal tide Open hours Facilities

11km/30 min drive 15R Marine Parade, Maroubra Free Yes Any 24 hours Toilets, showers and change rooms

For people who love the water, there is truly no better place to live than Sydney. For people who love AFL football, the same cannot be said. Our inner-Melburnian will always associate winter with footy season, and our weekend quests for new Sydney swimming holes often overlap with searches for pubs that will play an AFL match with the sound on (see our favourite footy pub, The Lord Dudley Hotel). Winter is, in our opinion, also the best time to swim in Sydney. It’s the time of year for true ocean lovers. The tourists have left and the locals get the beaches and pools all to themselves. While the water never gets too cold, the ocean can get wild, which is why Mahon Pool is one of our winter favourites. It provides protection from large swells, but also catches precious winter sun all day long. 22

West: Jellybean Pool, Glen Brook The quintessential entry point for Blue Mountains fresh water swimming. Distance from CBD 63km/1 hour drive Address 77 Bruce Rd, Glenbrook. Blue Mountains Nat. Park Glenbrook Entrance. Cost of entry Free (but parking in the NP is $8 a day) Kid friendly Yes Open hours National Park gates open Mon–Sun 8.30am– 7pm (Oct–Apr), 8.30am–6pm (May–Sep) but you can park outside the gates outside these hours. Facilities Toilets and water up at the national park information centre, but nothing at the pool.

Obviously there are no ocean baths in the West as there is no ocean, but this is a great fresh water favourite. At the south-east corner of the Blue Mountains is this natural pool named for its shape and sweetness. It’s just past the town of Glenbrook, aka the gateway to the vast Blue Mountains National Park, and because of its city-side access point, we almost always start our mountain missions here. The intersection of Park and Ross streets is a welcome cluster of small shops, foodstores, cafes and bakeries, but just beyond the main strip is the Glenbrook Visitor Information Centre, perched above the Glenbrook Gorge – a spot with abundant places to walk and swim. Our pick is the aptly named Jellybean Pool.

Looking for something a little closer to home. Perhaps these ring a bell. Avalon Pool Balmoral Baths Bronte Baths Chowder Bay Baths Clontarf Baths Collaroy Rockpool Dawn Frazer Baths Dee Why Pool Fairy Bower Pool Fairylight Baths Forty Baskets Freshwater Rockpool

Geoff James Pool Giles Baths Greenwich Baths Gymea Baths Little Manly Cove Baths Maccallum Pool Malabar Rockpool Monavale Pool Newport Beach Pool North Cronulla Beach Rockpool North Curl Curl Pool North Narrabeen Rockpool Oak Park Rockpool

Palm Bach Rockpool Parsley Bay Sreserve Queenscliff Pool Ross Jones Rockpool Shark Beach Baths Shelley Beach Rockpool South Cronulla Beach Rockpool South Curl Curl Pool Sunnamatt Bay Baths Wally Weeks Pool What Beach Pool Woolwich baths Wylie’s Baths

This is an edited extract from Places We Swim Sydney by Caroline Clements & Dillon Seitchik-Reardon published by Hardie Grant Travel, RRP $39.99, and is available in stores nationally. Photos: ©Dillan Seitchik-Reardon ©Ramy Gerega 23

the Handbag of happI Can a really, really expensive designer handbag make you happy? Twelve years ago, I bought a really, really expensive handbag because I thought it would make me happy. My Miu Miu handbag dazzled with black and silver Italian sequins, often startling envious bystanders into staring at it until they risked going blind. The interior of the Miu Miu was black kid leather, the clasp innovative and silvery cool. The handbag was so devastatingly beautiful that I forked out $4000 for it – the most money I have ever spent on an accessory, a shoe or a handbag. I didn’t believe in wasting money on designer clothing, jewellery or handbags. I preferred the knock-offs because I always ruin the interior of a bag. Lipstick, hairspray and lip gloss – they all love blowing themselves to pieces inside my handbags. I think it’s because I leave my bags in the hot sun and it somehow forces the lipstick and hairspray to just kind of… blow up – lipstick everywhere! I believed in spending money on designer kitchens, marble bathrooms, vintage handblown pink chandeliers, dodgy real estate and a staggering shares portfolio with $300 worth of Rio Tinto and a few diamond shares. (Unfortunately, the Rin Tin Tin soon plummeted to catastrophic new lows and looked like it might never regain consciousness.) But suddenly I wanted to know what it felt like to say, ‘My bag? Oh … it’s Miu Miu!’ You see, I was a successful 45-year-old businesswoman but I’d never owned a designer handbag. I didn’t think I deserved to and, quite frankly, I thought people who purchased handbags over $1000 were insane! The few people I allowed inside my home would often comment on what they considered a disappointing, lacklustre, designer-deprived wardrobe.

‘… not even a Dolce & Gabbana wallet? Chanel purse? A Balenciaga tampon holder? Come on … you must have a few vintage Yves Saint Laurent leather totes lying around? They’re iconic!’ Yeah… and they’re $50K! One bitter-cold November afternoon when I was in New York for business, I marched into Bergdorf Goodman on Fifth Avenue, slammed the ludicrous $4000 onto my Black American Express card and then levitated. I’d never been so happy in all my life! In fact, I was so happy I levitated six floors up, suddenly appearing in the fancy Bergdorf Goodman restaurant, where I congratulated myself with a Bergdorf burger and Diet Coke. I’d done it! I finally owned a designer handbag. My handbag suggested to everybody I swanked toward that I was a successful person showing economic prosperity – the stains of childhood insecurity miraculously gone!

For ten minutes I was so puffed up with happiness I felt like a bright red helium balloon. And then the happiness disappeared. And so did the red helium balloon. After ten minutes, I was back to being me. Just me in an NYC department store, spending $4000 on a bag in the hope it would make me happy. And it did, but only for ten minutes. I often ask myself the question, What does make women happy? And the brutal answer is, nothing! Not for more than ten minutes at a time. But perhaps those perfect ten minutes are worth living for, and the hours that circle them worth fighting for, making the ten minutes feel just a little bit longer. This is an extract from Melbourne mum and fashion icon and, Alannah Hill’s The Handbag of Happiness (And other misunderstandings, misdemeanours and misadventures) published by Hardie Grant Books, available now.

Iness Postscript: I was burgled in 2013. My new Mercedes-Benz was stolen from the garage, three laptops, iPads, four phones, Chanel sunglasses … all stolen… along with the happiness glitter bag! I was devastated. Mainly about the happiness bag! I worked alongside a St Kilda detective and helped him track down the bag. I found it on Facebook! The burglar had given my car and happiness bag to his mother, who of course had to show off her new stolen gifts online. The mum stood proudly next to my stolen Mercedes clutching my happiness handbag. Her crim son lay spread-eagled across the car bonnet wearing my black Chanel sunglasses with a sanctimonious crim-like smirk. Mother and son were eventually caught, but the only thing I really wanted was that bag back. Two weeks later the detective from St Kilda knocked at my front door. He was handdelivering my Miu Miu happiness bag. I felt the rush of red helium balloon happiness all over again – but only for ten minutes – and then I was back to being just me!

THE MINDFUL DRINKER You might recognise the name Irene Falcone, the clever Sydney mum of four who founded Nourished Life, the fabulous online natural skincare and beauty store. Now that this serial entrepreneur has conquered the beauty world, selling the business after 8 years for a cool $20M, Irene has set her sights on an unexpected industry, beverages. Irene’s decision to practise mindful drinking was the catalyst for her newest business venture Sans Drinks, an online store selling non-alcoholic drinks only. Tell us a bit about your family. We’re a modern blended family, my husband and I have four kids between us. Three boys, one girl. We have three teenagers and my baby of the family is 10! Our oldest is 16 and about to get his drivers license. We’re very tight-knit and not big on travel - we spend our weekends in the backyard playing soccer or splashing about in the pool! My husband works for NSW Ambulance and is a great support to all of my crazy endeavours. My kids and my husband are always helping out in the warehouse too – it’s a family affair!

You’re all about living a natural toxin-free lifestyle. Is this what drove you to start Sans Drinks? Essentially, yes! Around nine months ago I decided to cut alcohol out of my diet and see how it was affecting my wellbeing. Not only did it make a huge difference to my gut health, energy levels and skin, but I also came to realise that it was really hard to find high quality non-alcoholic alternatives. I remember I was standing in a bottle shop asking if they had non-alcoholic wine or beer and they looked at me as though I was absolutely crazy! It was exactly the same look of judgement I received when I walked into a chemist and asked for a toxin-free deodorant back in 2012. This is what really inspired me to start Sans Drinks and we proudly focus on stocking Aussie brands that tick all the right boxes, including natural ingredients, low calories, sugar-free and vegan options. 26

Tell us about your drive to build and succeed in business. The thrill of the challenge is what drives me in building my businesses. I’m passionate about disrupting industries and challenging the norm, all the while providing better shopping experiences for the everyday Aussie. I love spotting unique opportunities and running with them. This year has seen us turn to alcohol and online shopping like never before, so being an online non-alcoholic marketplace, Sans Drinks addresses both those trends in a positive way.

Aussies love a drink, especially in Summer, and dare I say it, mums love a wine! How do you educate people into agreeing they should ditch the booze? For me, when I ditched alcohol I realised pretty quickly how much better I felt without it, and how quickly I stopped craving it. I realised I didn’t really need it, nor did I like the way I felt when I drank, physically or mentally. It’s not really about getting people to ditch alcohol entirely, I just want to make delicious alcoholfree drinks readily available, spread awareness of this alternative and the benefits, and break the stigma around drinking in Australia especially. I haven’t come across anybody yet who hasn’t been excited about swapping their weeknight reds to a non-alcoholic replica and saving the alcohol for the weekend. I think we can all agree there is nothing worse than parenting with a hangover!

What are your top picks to drink this Summer? My top picks for this summer have to be vibrant, fruity Italian Spritzes and of course a nice bottle of bubbly for Christmas or New Years! One of my favourites is the Thomson and Scott Noughty. It’s created by a female entrepreneur in the UK, it’s organic and lower in sugar than most champagnes! And there’s nothing better than pimping it up into an alcohol free Campari Spritz.

How has Covid-19 affected the launch of Sans Drinks? Despite the uncertainties and procedure changes, the pandemic has actually acted as a pretty big talking point to emphasise Aussie’s need for non-alcoholic alternatives. Our research this year showed that Aussies have been drinking more and feeling worse because of it since Covid-19 hit. As a result, there is a huge audience of Aussies wanting to practise mindful drinking and cut back on their alcohol intake.

You’re obviously a very busy working mum! Describe your average day. Sure! I wake up at about 7am - I like to wake up naturally, never with an alarm. I make the kids breakfast and get them off to school, then I do some customer services emails from home before heading into the warehouse! Then I spend the rest of my day packing orders and racing around the warehouse! I’ve been feeling so fit from all the extra running around! Then I do the school-pick up and dinner rush and after that I wrap up my day with some more customer service emails, product buying and social media management. I’m a big advocate for not outsourcing my customer service or social media, I love to be the one chatting directly with my customers.

Have you got any funny parenting stories you’d like to share. There are so many hilarious stories from across the years that I couldn’t just pick one! I love being a mum and I find my kids hilarious. Fortunately, they find me just as funny!

Finally, where can we find Sans Drinks? You can find our huge range of non-alcoholic alternatives, reviews and recipes at sansdrinks.com.au. 27

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Love your brain by Chrissie Davies Love Your Brain is an informative, and light-hearted text narrated by Little Brainiac – a likeable children’s character - about the importance of looking after and understanding our unique brains. Love Your Brain empowers parents to talk to their children about the importance of understanding their brains, encouraging brain care and ultimately learning how this impacts on their emotions and behaviour. Little Brainiac begins the story by reminding children that their brains are amazing, but they must be taken care of like other parts of their bodies and loved much the way they love their family members. For children 5-12. Published by www.chaostocalmconsultancy.com RRP $27.50.

The Ultimate Animal Alphabet Book by Jennifer Cossins This is not your average animal alphabet book. D isn’t for dog. It’s for dusky leaf monkey and dromedary, dingo and dugong, danube clouded yellow butterfly and defassa waterbuck. D is for the Dorcas gazelle, douroucouli night monkey and dusky dolphin, the dashdot goat fish, the dalmation pelican and the defassa waterbuck. Discover why the American flamingo is pink, how emerald tree boas hunt their food, what a baby echidna is called and whether the dusky leaf money really has four stomachs. Published by Lothian Children’s Books RRP: $29.99

Jingle Bells illustrated by Nicola Slater A delightful gift book for the very young! Join in with a Christmas classic with this interactive sound book with a light-up surprise ending Listen and sing along as the merry band of musicians go on a sleigh ride, playing their instruments along the way. Then join in as they all play together in the festive finale! Nicola Slater’s charming illustrations, and real instrumental music make this sound-button board book an irresistible Christmas gift. Published by Allen & Unwin. RRP $19.99

The Illustrated Encyclopaedia of Dangerous Animals by Sami Bayly Dangerous animals get a bad rap, but this beautifully illustrated encyclopaedia helps us appreciate the incredible features of some of our more hair-raising animal species. With more than sixty of the most deadly and dangerous animals from across the world, every page is more eye-opening than the last. You will learn interesting facts about these fascinating species such as how they have adapted to survive and whether we should be threatened by these animals or appreciate them for their incredible features. Published by Hachette Australia RRP $32.99 29

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School Rules Are Optional: The Grade Six Survival Guide by Alison Hart Jesse is in his final year of primary school and should be living it up, but he can’t even get his Prep buddy to follow school rules. A hilarious story of being undervalued and over everything for fans of Diary of a Wimpy Kid and Secrets of a Schoolyard Millionaire. Jesse will have you roaring with laughter as he navigates the rites and rituals of Grade Six including a disrespectful Prep buddy, a plumbing problem the size of Niagara Falls, and the dreaded compulsory school camp. Published by Allen & Unwin. RRP $14.99

Gargantis by Thomas Taylor When an ancient bottle is found washed up on the beach after a ferocious electrical storm, all the residents of Eerie-on-Sea seem to want it ... but should they in fact fear it? Legend has it that the bottle contains an extraordinary secret that spells doom for the whole of Eerie-on-Sea. Could it be true that the vast sea creature Gargantis has awoken from her slumbers, and is causing the large cracks that are appearing all across the town? Finding themselves entrusted with the bottle, Herbie and Violet discover they will need to ride the terrible storm and pacify the creature if they want to save Eerie-on-Sea from sliding into the ocean and being lost for ever. Published by Walker Books RRP $17.99.

365 Real-life Superheroes by Valentina Camerini 365 Real-Life Superheroes is packed full of real stories about true superheroes: from Galileo to Greta Thunberg – or, in Australia, from Eddie Mabo to Lowitja O’Donoghue. Among the heroes profiled are sportspeople, scientists, journalists, explorers, doctors, astronauts, musicians, artists and activists. Each has been chosen because they display a particular heroic attribute: courage, intelligence, creativity, determination, justice or generosity. This charming illustrated collection of stories will entertain and, above all, inspire young readers. For readers aged 9 to 12. Published by Piccolo Nero. RRP $22.99

The Traitor: Wolf Girl 4 by Anh Do In part 4 of this wildly exciting adventure series from bestselling author Anh Do, Wolf Girl and her trusty dogs are back for another hackle-raising adventure. On the run from sinister forces, Gwen rushes head-long into danger. With giant snakes, komodo dragons and a whole new wolf pack to contend with, Wolf Girl will need all her cunning... and all her friends. Perfect for readers aged 8-14. Published by Allen & Unwin. RRP $15.95 30

2020 Dictionary - The definitive guide to the year the world turned to sh*t by Dominic Knight

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2020 sucked. It’s been a year of bushfires, floods, a recession, a global pandemic and Kanye West’s presidential campaign. But it was also the year we all watched Hamilton, baked sourdough, had dinner parties on Zoom and drank constantly - okay, so maybe that wasn’t such a great thing either. The 2020 Dictionary is an invaluable record of all we learned in the year the world turned to sh*t, helpfully collected in alphabetical order, with jokes where appropriate, as well as in some places where they probably aren’t. Published by Allen & Unwin $29.99

Help Self - Learn from my mistakes so you can make different ones! by Tanya Hennessy From the bestselling author of AM I DOING THIS RIGHT? comes an honest, hilarious, entirely relatable illustrated guide to living life right. And wrong. There are no filters, no frittatas and no fake. In Help Self, Tanya gets real “ as she discusses food, love, friendship, careers and mental health, and (of course) she gets real hilarious too. From being mistaken for a pregnant woman when she’d just had too many Cheezels, to understanding whatever alien language your friend’s child is speaking, to overcoming an unexpected breakup with your best friend, Tanya Hennessy has all the life-hack, pro-tips for getting through this chaos we call life. Published by Allen and Unwin RRP $29.99

This Book Will Make You Kinder by Henry James Garrett A sweetly illustrated examination of what makes us kind, this book will introduce you to your empathy and point out what limits that empathy. Not just the everyday kindness of taking out your neighbour’s bins - the strong, courageous, moral kindness of fighting cruelty. It’s needed now more than ever. Unkindness has been given new energy in recent years. So get to know your empathy a little better. Where it comes from, and why every human has it. Empathy is what makes us kind, but it must be combined with a conscious effort to learn about different kinds of people. A world in which everyone acted on their empathy would be a very kind world indeed. Let’s work toward that world. Published by Allen and Unwin RRP $24.99

Searching For Charlotte by Kate Forsyth & Belinda Murrell For almost 140 years, the author of Australia’s first children’s book was a mystery. She was the subject of much speculation until 1980 when, after a decade of sleuthing, legendary bibliographer Marcie Muir discovered her name: Charlotte Waring Atkinson. And not only her name, but an extensive creative family history, connecting her to two of Australia’s most celebrated contemporary children’s writers, Kate Forsyth and Belinda Murrell. In Searching for Charlotte authors and sisters Kate Forsyth and Belinda Murrell unite to uncover the long-buried story of their great-great-great-great grandmother and pioneer female writer, Charlotte Waring Atkinson, whose life was a tale of love, grief, violence and triumph against the odds. NLA Publishing RRP $34.95 31

RELATIONSHIPS IN THE 4 ways to cultivate strong lasting personal relationships in the digital age. ‘The Social Dilemma’, currently on Netflix, is the latest in a string of researched documentaries or studies adding credence to ‘back to basics’ when it comes to human connection in this digital age. So many industry leaders, co founders, vice presidents and ethical designers are growing in numbers to voice concerns over addictions with technology. Chamath Palihapitiya, a former Facebook executive, notably expresses personal concern for helping create ‘tools that are starting to erode the social fabric of how society works.’ It’s a telling sign so many innovators or digital execs minimise access to tools they’ve helped create with their own offspring. The digital age is here to stay as we continue racing into the future. It’s the manner in which we choose to use the tech in our own hands that helps maintain strong relationships in a hyper connected, tech addicted digital age. Here’s four ways.

1. Take off the masks The first may be learned powerfully from the words of a teenage girl during a seminar I delivered on human behaviour and human connection. ‘Oh this explains so much! I get it. I was pretending to be really emo (emotional) to land the hot guy. Which I did! But then after a while it didn’t work because, you know, we’re just not that alike.’ Authenticity is a powerful causation inviting or adding value into our lives and the lives of others. Pretending for the sake of connection often fuels more heartache or disconnection. Authenticity allows a healthy stickiness over neediness. 32

Our historical predecessors thousands of years ago might have been lucky to interact with 150 mainstay connections in a lifetime. These days people invest so much time filtering highlights for highlights. Seeking to gain a far greater number from a single social post in the duration of a coffee break. Yet the price is significant. A short term dopamine fix of surface, shallow or even fake, loveliness from a digital collection of every Tom, Dick or Harriet bundled into one happy bucked labelled ‘friends’ often only serves to pull us away from the gems in this world.

2. The biggest dirty little secret Jack Welch, former CEO of GE, describes the second trait wonderfully, regardless of whether applied personally or professionally, as ‘the biggest dirty little secret in business.’ A lack of candour costs a business so much: trust, productivity, innovation, time, everything. The same is true for our personal relationships. They suffer where transparency is sabotaged or subterranean. If someone you truly value has upset you, tell them. Few people have developed their psychic ability to accurately or fully read minds! The digital age seems to breed the anti-thesis of candour, with phenomena like ‘ghosting’ or a ‘cancel culture’ taking off. A conversation culture, rather than a cut off one, is better for relationships and the social fabrics of community.

3. Two common languages We live in world with 196 recognised countries and over 7000 known languages. More than half the world’s population speak the top ten. Yet there remains two common languages all understand that transcend differences, divisions and geographical boundaries. What’s more, neither require the utterance of words. And no, they are not the languages of SMS or emojis! How often do you ask friends to help you translate both!

DIGITAL AGE Kindness and love are languages the deaf can hear, the blind can see and bring light to the darkest of spaces. In fact Robert Waldinger, the current director of perhaps the world’s longest study of adult life and development, shares in his TED talk (‘What makes a good life’) the secret to a happy life turns out to feeling loved and supported after all.

4. The context of quality and quantity The importance of human connection minus technology is rooted in scientific reasoning. British anthropologist and psychologist Robin Dunbar calculated a magical number stumbled upon amidst studying behaviours of primate groups. Applying the same modelling to our own primate group the predictions about the size of social circles or relationships people can realistically maintain turned out surprisingly accurate: 150. The number is prevalent throughout history to modern day social circles: Average English villages circa 16th century (160) to modern day

social gatherings (weddings, 148, from a study of 18,000 brides) or even the average number of FB friends (150-200). If you were to consider how many relationships amongst all connections are truly meaningful or present in your world, what would it be? Perhaps take note who your 150 are and invest more in them than strangers. Our humanity and quality time invested in relationships nourishes their longevity. Embrace and use technology as a great enabler and connector. Perhaps be less concerned with a rush for vanity metrics or popularity. And don’t be so busy rummaging digital rocks and stones to miss real life diamonds. Mark Carter is an international keynote speaker, trainer and coach. He has over 20 years’ experience as a global learning and development professional. His TEDxCasey talk ‘Paws and Effect: how teddy bears increase value perception was the movie trailer for his latest book Add Value. You can contact Mark at www.markcarter.com.au or his book site addvalue.markcarter.com.au

Parklife BungarrIbee Park Are you ready for a summer of fun in Sydney’s biggest backyard? Western Sydney Parklands is the ultimate destination for a Sydney summer playcation where you’re guaranteed an action-packed weekend of family fun and big thrills. Western Sydney Parklands is not just one park, the Parklands cover over 27 kilometres spanning from Quakers Hill in the north via Horsley Park to Leppington in the south. Let the kids burn all that extra energy in a better version of your own backyard! Pack a picnic and head on down to Bungarribee and marvel at the ultra-modern playground with its 14-metre-high tower, 50-metre-long flying-fox, giant swings and water-play. This 200-hectare park features wide-open scenic space and two sealed tracks – the Heart Crossing Loop and the Bungaribee Trail – which are fantastic for walking and cycling. It also has one of Sydney’s largest off-leash dog areas, the Warrigal Dog Run. The wetland around Bungarribee are protected and there are 20 hectares of native wildflower and thousands of native trees gradually being planted there to restore the original landscape. It’s simply beautiful. 34 Lark Industries Photos:

Facilities at Bungarribee: 18 picnic shelters – 10 are available free of charge on a ‘first-come first-served’ basis and the other 8 can be booked for parties and special occasions. The shelters you can book range in size from a capacity of 60 people (45 seated, 15 standing) to 90 people (45 seated, 45 standing). 26 barbecues – available for everyone to use, free of charge. Please leave them clean and tidy when you are done. There are two large carparks. Park only in the bays marked by signs and symbols. Time restrictions apply in some areas. Toilets, including accessible facilities, can be found near the playground. Walking, running and cycling: Sealed tracks, including one that runs between the Great Western Highway and Eastern Road, make Bungarribee a terrific place to walk or cycle.

Corner of Doonside Road and Holbeche Road, Doonside.

And while you’re out here: Tracks and trails across Western Sydney Parklands are perfect for walking and running, and some are suitable for cycling. A walk can take anywhere from 30 minutes to three hours to complete. Most tracks are paved or gravelled, but some are grass tracks, fire trails or old farm roads. Whether you want a leisurely stroll, quick jog after work or to train for an epic trek or marathon, we’ve got a route to suit. Visit Sydney Zoo and connect with beautiful animals in wide-open spaces and fresh air. The zoo is home to all your favourite exotic and native animals, Australia’s largest reptile and nocturnal house, an aquarium and has no hills or steps, making it perfect for wheelchairs and prams. Raging Waters Sydney is the place to make your summer memories! Splash and slide into the fun at Sydney’s biggest water park, offering over 30 rides, slides and attractions. There is something for everyone from the splash pads for the little water adventurers to the adrenaline pumping slides for the thrill seekers! Anyone wanting to get up close (and up high) to the Cumberland Plain species of trees, will love the TreeTops Adventure Park high ropes courses. Cruise in and watch a blockbuster movie under the stars at the retro Skyline Drive-In cinema and diner. Thank you to Western Sydney Parklands for the images and information.

VEGANUARY DURING JANUARY? Barbecueing is one of Australia’s most quintessential summer activities but with more people choosing to become vegan or opt for plant-based foods, it might be time to broaden the menu beyond sizzling steaks and sausages in bread. Vegan and plant-based foods don’t have to be bland, but if you’ve never catered for the dietary preference before you might not know where to start. Leading dietitian, Susie Burrell says that summer is a fantastic season for trying new fruits and vegetables and that even if you do eat meat, it’s extremely important to include a variety of fruits and vegetables in your diet. Plant-based dishes can be incredibly tasty, provide essential nutrients and benefit meat eaters and vegans alike. For those who choose to be vegan or opt for plant-based foods, it’s even more important to eat nutritionally balanced meals that contain iron, zinc and calcium to ensure your vegan diet is not lacking in essential nutrients that are found in meat and other animals based foods. A serving of coleslaw or a jacket potato at a Sunday barbecue whilst healthy, lacks the range of nutrients that a well balanced meal contains. Instead get experimental and make colourful sides and salads that include fruits, different vegetables and to help keep you fuller for longer, add a handful of nuts, a dressing made with a 100% natural nut spread like Mayver’s or a carbohydrate like quinoa, beans or chickpeas. Specifically nutritionally rich foods including legumes, nuts, seeds and wholegrains can 36

significantly boost the micronutrient intake of those who prefer plant based eating.” Mayver’s ambassador and 28 founder, Sam Wood says that his family always serve up veggie dishes at family barbecues and that there are plenty of crowd-pleasing, meatfree main dishes that even your meat loving friends will enjoy. Sam says a great vegan friendly option to consider as an alternative to sausages and meats are veggie fritters and skewers! You can cook both on the barbecue and my tofu skewers recipe is packed with flavour and extra protein from the peanut butter included in the dipping sauce. Catering for vegans or plant-based eaters takes a bit of thought, but it doesn’t need to be difficult if you look for dishes that everyone can enjoy, including yourself. Those that follow the 28 program, know how much of a meat-free Monday advocate Sam is and has been encouraging people to give it a go for a long time, as a way to eat more fruit and vegetables. It’s a movement that’s really grown in popularity and is such a great way to increase your fruit and vegetable intake during the week. So if you’re curious about trying veganism or are looking to add more plant-based recipes to your repertoire for your next meat-free barbecue, it’s a great place to start. Since 2014, Veganuary has inspired and supported more than one million people in 192 countries to try vegan for January – and beyond. Try some of these yummy Mayvers recipes to help you start!

Crunchy shredded salad with peanut butter dressing Recipe by Tracey Morter Serves: 4-6 Vegan, gluten free, dairy free

Ingredients – Dressing:

Method

¼ cup Mayver’s Crunchy Peanut Butter

1. Place all dressing ingredients, except for peanut butter, into a blender and blend until smooth.

2 tbs rice wine vinegar Ingredients – Salad:

3 tbs fresh lime juice

3 cups finely shredded wombok or white cabbage

3 tbs light olive oil

1 cup finely shredded red cabbage

1 tbs coconut sugar

½ medium sized red capsicum finely sliced

1 garlic clove crushed

1 large grated carrot 3 spring onions sliced ½ Lebanese cucumber, halved lengthwise, de-seeded and sliced ½ cup mint leaves

1 tbs tamari 2 tbs rice malt syrup 20g fresh ginger grated ½ long green chili finely chopped

2. Then, whisk the Mayver’s Crunchy Peanut Butter into the dressing so you retain the crunchy texture. 3. Place all salad ingredients in a large bowl and toss to mix. 4. Add dressing just before serving and toss through to coat evenly.

½ tsp salt

Recipe tip

½ cup coriander leaves

Use an empty Mayver’s jar instead of a blender in Step 1 and shake until smooth. 37

Tofu satay skewers with smunchy peanut butter By Sam Wood Serves: 2 Vegetarian Ingredients - Tofu Satay 2-4 bamboo skewers 1/4 cup coconut milk, from carton 1/2 tbs Thai red curry paste 1/2 tbs curry powder 250g firm tofu, cut into 2cm cubes

1/2 tbs apple cider vinegar 1/4 cup water, to desired consistency To serve 1 cup brown rice, cooked 1/2 cucumber, peeled into ribbons 1/4 cup fresh coriander leaves 1 lime, cut into wedges

4. Heat a non-stick fry pan or grill over medium heat and add the tofu skewers to the pan. Discard the leftover marinade. Cook for 10 minutes, rotating the skewers occasionally to ensure the tofu is golden on all sides. 5. In the meantime, add all of the peanut butter sauce ingredients to a small saucepan and simmer for 5 minutes over low to medium heat. Stir regularly until smooth. 6. Create a bed of rice on a plate and add cucumber and coriander. Drizzle with lime juice. 7. Add the skewers to the plate and serve with peanut butter dipping sauce.

Rose-vanilla bath melts Ingredients Peanut Butter Sauce 1/4 cup coconut milk, from carton 2 tbs Mayverâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Unsalted Peanut Butter 1 tsp tamari 1 tbs Thai red curry paste 1 tsp maple syrup

Method 1. Soak the bamboo skewers in water for at least 5 minutes. 2. Whisk all tofu satay ingredients (except the tofu) together in a shallow dish. 3. Thread the tofu onto the soaked skewers and place in the satay marinade. Allow to marinate for 1 hour or overnight.

Peanut Butter Banana Choc Top Recipe by @powerthroughplants

Ingredients - Choc Top

Time: 45 minutes | Serves: 6

1 tbsp canned coconut cream

Gluten Free / Dairy Free / Vegetarian / Sugar Free

Handful crushed nuts of your choice

Ingredients - The Pop

Method

1/2 cup canned coconut cream

1. In a blender or food processor add all ingredients for the icy poles and blend on high speed until combined and smooth.

1/4 cup Mayverâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Smooth Peanut Butter 2 cups frozen bananas 1/2 tsp vanilla essence 1/2 tsp ground cinnamon

1 block vegan chocolate

2. Pour into icy pole trays and place in the freezer to set for 8 hours, ideally overnight. The next day, remove the icy poles from the moulds and place them back into the freezer so they donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t melt.

3. Melt the chocolate in a bowl over hot water or in the microwave. Once runny, add the coconut cream and mix until combined. 4. One by one, dip the icy poles into the chocolate and place them flat onto a tray with baking paper. Sprinkle over some nuts and repeat the process. Use leftover chocolate to drizzle over the rest of the pops. Place in the fridge to set for 10 minutes. Serve and enjoy!

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OUR ACTIVE KIDS Extra-curricular activities were somewhat interrupted in 2020, but look out 2021. Our kids are ready and rearing to get back into their favourite activities. Here are some of Mama’s top picks.

Ready Steady Go Kids Various locations across Sydney, www.readysteadygokids.com.au Ready Steady Go Kids is Australia’s leading multi-sport program for children aged 1.5-6 years. They currently run classes at over 210 locations across Australia. Their physio-designed program teaches children the fundamentals of 10 different sports and develops essential motor skills in a fun, non-competitive environment.

Mini Maestros Hornsby and Denham Court www.minimaestros.com.au Fun and educational music classes, combining music and joyful discovery, for children aged 6 months to 5 years. Music making is superfood for a child’s developing brain and for nearly 40 years Mini Maestros have built expertise, content and experience that are second to none.

Baby Sensory Almost 20 locations across Sydney www.babysensory.com.au Welcome to the magical world of sensory learning, wonder, exploration, and development from birth to 13 months. Specifically designed from birth, to aid your child’s development, the classes are packed with an incredible variety of sounds, smells, sights, textures, music, dance, singing and more - plus you’ll never experience the same class twice.

Suncorp NetSetGo Various locations, play.netball.com.au Australia’s official netball starter program for girls and boys aged 5 to 10. It’s a chance to learn the netball basics, get outside and make some friends. For a lot of kids, this is the first time they’ll pick up a netball or chuck on a bib. It’s a learning experience. And a lot of fun.

Babyballet 12 locations across Sydney, babyballetdance.com.au Babyballet has four stages for babyballet stars from 6 months to 6 years to progress through. There is also a tap dancing class for children over 3 years. Teachers all undergo babyballet training, and with professional dance and teaching experience, they strive to create a fun, friendly and inclusive experience – no matter what your child’s age or ability. 41

GymbaROO 19 locations across Sydney www.gymbaroo.com.au Baby, toddler and school readiness classes. Join other local families and experience the wonderful socialisation, learning and movement opportunities. Every song sung, every game played and every activity is specifically designed to increase a child’s capability to learn.

Carlile Swimming Various locations across Sydney, www.carlile.com.au With nine conveniently located Carlile Swimming centres, you’re sure to find a swim school near you. Since they opened Australia’s first commercial swim school at Drummoyne in 1955, they’ve gradually added to the Carlile family of swim schools. All their pools are purpose built to suit specific teaching methods and their leading swim programs.

Code Camp Various locations across Sydney, www.codecamp.com.au Code Camp run weekly before or after-school programs in partnership with schools across Sydney Join thousands of kids aged 5-14 learning to code. Choose from a range of online and in-person activities for the school holidays. Brand-new online sessions. Courses: Little Heroes, Spark, Ignite, Blast 3D, Web Builders, YouTube Creators, DJ Camp.

ANZ Tennis Hot Shots Various locations across Sydney, hotshots.tennis.com.au ANZ Tennis Hot Shots is designed to help every child, no matter their age or ability, jump in and start playing tennis. Played on smaller courts with modified equipment, including lighter racquets, lower nets and low compression balls that don’t bounce too high, there are four fun stages (Blue 3-5, Red 5-8, Orange 8-10 and Green 9-12). Qualified Tennis Australia coaches will help guide your kids.

Australian Girl Choir 12 venues across Sydney ausgirlschoir.com.au For more than 30 years, the Australian Girls Choir has been proud to play a role in the musical growth and development of girls across the country, but involvement extends much further than the excellent music and performing arts education. They focus on growing girls through the hidden elements of the curriculum – including developing confidence, self esteem, public speaking and team work.

NAB AFL Auskick At your local footy club, play.afl/auskick NAB AFL Auskick is simply the best introduction for kids into the world of Australian Football. Auskickers run, jump, kick, laugh, express themselves and create their own special moments that just happens to be footy. No matter if you know the game or not, Auskick is inclusive for everyone aged 5-12 at any ability to play. 42

Nutty Scientists In school, nuttyscientists.com Nutty Scientists® has an ever-growing number of inhouse afterschool programs in Sydney for children between the age of 3-16. The programs are designed to spark the imagination, stimulating an interest in science and the environment at a young age. When children can clearly make a connection with the world around them, they develop a solid foundation for future learning.

Ready Set Dance Various locations across Sydney, readyset.dance Ready Set Dance and Ready Set Ballet preschool classes are taught in licensed dance studios throughout Australia and New Zealand. The creators of the program have ensured that the classes appeal to boys and girls from 2-5 years

Nida Acting Courses Kensington, nida.edu.au The National Institute of Dramatic Art run a whole host of online and in person classes for kids aged 3 – 18, both during the school term and in holidays. NIDA offers a range of courses and experiences across a variety of disciplines from Creative Play for pre-school children to the Next Stage theatre program for primary school grade 3-6 students and more.

Football Star Academy Mascot, Daceyville and Chatswood sportstaracademy.com/football FSA is Australia’s leading provider of skill based kids football (soccer) programs! The Football Star Academy program is all about kids learning the skills of football while having fun in a professional environment. Boys and girls welcome from five years old at any level of ability.

GeckoSports Summer Hill, geckosports.com.au GeckoSports offer school aged programs for kids from 5-18 years old providing them a fun and interactive start to sport and fitness for life. They give children the inspiration and confidence to be physically active and try their hand at playing different sports through a scientifically designed primary school aged program.

Kangatraing Various locations across Sydney, kangatraining.info Technically this is an activity for mum, but you get to do it with your baby! Kangatraining is a complete workout during which both cardiovascular endurance/flexibility and muscular capacity/strength are enhanced. Unlike traditional exercise classes, new mums need not worry about finding a babysitter or minding an unsettled baby during class because the babies are worn on them and get to be part of the action! 43

the COSMO comback Remember Sex and the City? It was the show that taught us everything we needed to know about designer clothes, dating, friendship and, of course, cocktails. And while it was the show that turned Sarah Jessica Parker into a fashion icon, don’t forget that other icon – the Cosmopolitan. Sips on a Cosmo between sex talk and shoe stories became the done thing. We cried and laughed and cringed through six glorious seasons, tasting every sip of every cocktail vicariously through the Fab Four. It was the cocktail they turned to on birthdays and in moments of regret, “Another Cosmopolitan, please!” As pretty and sophisticated as the characters it was inextricably linked to, the Cosmo became a symbol of success, independence and female comradery. Uninhibited women in their thirties, gallivanting around New York, doing as they please and drinking pink cocktails from glassware on stems as thin and long as their heels. It was glorious. Like so many great things to come out of the 80’s, the Cosmopolitan stepped out of the fluoro-soaked decade with style. The blend of vodka, Cointreau, cranberry juice and lime was invented by New York bartender Toby Cecchini, and quickly became the most popular cocktail in London and New York after drawing the attention of bartenders everywhere. The 90’s was a blur of Cosmos, right up until bartenders grew sick of them and people stopped ordering them for fear of having to apologise.

It’s a strange thing when zeitgeisty turns to hated. The list of cringe-worthy things to come out of the 20th Century is endless (think men’s fashion in the 70’s and Demi Moore in Striptease, for God’s sake!), but the Cosmo? What were those bartenders thinking, hating on something so pink and fabulous? The mind boggles. As a cocktail that became wrapped up in the identity of striving career woman, it was inevitable that something would reinvigorate its image. That something would of course be Madonna, photographed at a Sony Grammy Awards after-party sipping on a Cosmo at the World-famous Rainbow Room in Manhattan. The only thing bartenders could do to avoid making them was literally refuse, and they did. Like everything trendy, the Cosmopolitan became passé eventually and drifted into oblivion. Now, twenty years on, it’s making a triumphant comeback to rival the scrunchie. What was cast aside as a girly drink for two decades is now back in pop culture. Bartenders are no longer knocking them, and celebrities like Jennifer Lopez have been spotted imbibing. It shouldn’t be that surprising that the Cosmo is back. We’re in the depths of a cocktail renaissance and bartenders have been reintroducing all the lost and forgotten classics. They know that all they need is a pop star, celeb or supermodel to be seen sipping and fans scramble to get their lips around one. Instant notoriety.

If you’re ready to try a Cosmo and want to know how one tastes, it’s the perfect blend of sweet, tart and sour. Perfectly refreshing, especially when served ice cold in a chilled martini glass, making it a superb alternative to a Rosé on a summer day. See, it’s not just a fashion accessory after all. With Cosmos cool again, we’ll be seeing more trendy drink brands landing in local bottlo’s and online. Non-alcoholic cocktail bases are popping up, making it simple to just add alcohol and shake-up a Cosmo. For those that can’t be bothered with the fuss of measuring and shaking, keep your eye out for ready to drink, bottled Cosmos you simply chill and serve. Either way, Cosmos are set to be all the rage this summer as Aussies find ways to add some glamour to their home imbibing. It may be impossible to popularise the Cosmo as much as they did in the ‘80s, 90’s or early naughties, but the second coming of the Cosmo is set whether those pesky bartenders like it or not. It’s time to channel your inner Carrie Bradshaw and prepare yourself for a nostalgic reunion. The Cosmo is back in vogue. By Mel How, Founder/Director of The Cocktail Shop. thecocktailshop.com.au

ReflectIons on chIldhood When we become parents, we often forget what it was like to be the child. I’d go so far as to say that sometimes we act like we skipped childhood altogether, and were born disciplined and correct, without ever experiencing the sense of fun that children possess so naturally. Often the parent we become is based on the experiences we had as a child. If your parents were overly strict and authoritative, you might attempt to make up for what you experienced by being very relaxed, perhaps too relaxed. If your parents lacked boundaries and you were allowed to run free, you may parent in the same manner because you know no other way. This is an interesting concept to reflect on. You might look back at certain times in your childhood and wish your parents had been more like your friends’ parents, or that they had understood you better. Maybe they never let you do anything and so you had to sneak around. Perhaps you wish they’d trusted you more, or were fairer in their actions and decisions. This is the time to think back. This is your chance to understand why your parents were the way they were, and perhaps tweak your own parenting to be a little more considerate of the needs of a tween daughter. This doesn’t mean you should become a pushover and give her everything she wants. That’s not a good approach for anyone. But it can only be a positive move to look closely at the role you play in your relationship with your daughter and ask yourself some difficult questions: • Do I talk down to her sometimes? • Am I overly authoritative? • Am I always giving in to her because I don’t want her to be upset? • Do I need to be right all the time? • Am I an I-told-you-so mum? Reflecting on how you mother can be difficult. It can be hard to admit that you aren’t doing it right, but do you know what’s worse than not 46

getting it right? Never realising that there was a better way. I’d like to let you in on a little secret that I want you to remember: no one gets it right all the time. There is no such thing as a perfect parent. No one really has it all together, not all the time, anyway. The purpose of my book is to help you recognise when you could be doing things a little better. There’s no blame and no guilt, just reflection and learning. There are no qualifications for raising children; we all do the best we can, and when we know better, we can be better.

Looking back at your younger self If you could go back in time to when you were your daughter’s age, what would you say to yourself? As a grown woman, what do you wish your younger self had known? As a young girl, I remember being quite shy in new situations. I also remember feeling forgettable. If I saw someone I knew when I was away from home, I avoided eye contact at all costs. I was never the main girl in my group of friends. I was never the funniest or the prettiest or the one that others were drawn to. When I think back, perhaps that’s where my feelings of not being special or memorable began. I remember feeling a little invisible. I didn’t attend the outside school groups that my friends attended. I didn’t have brothers and sisters. I didn’t feel connected the way those around me appeared to be. I can still recall feeling unseen. I was, however, very lucky. I belonged to a family where I felt very loved, where I felt seen; within my family I knew I was important. Although I didn’t have an unhappy childhood, there were definitely aspects of those early years that I wish I could change. Then again, without the journey I’ve taken, I wouldn’t be who or where I am today. I like to think of myself as an example of ‘grow through what you go through’, one of my favourite sayings of all time.

If you did have the opportunity to go back in time, even if only for a few minutes, what would you say to your younger self if she stood before you right now? Keep in mind that your younger self lives on in you, buried deep within the many life experiences that have shaped you until this point. If I had such an opportunity, I would remind my younger self that even when she felt like she wasn’t important, she was. I would encourage her to walk with her head held high, to make eye contact, to smile at the people she knew, knowing that they would remember her. I would tell her to be friendlier and to not shy away; in fact, I would say the exact words I now find myself saying to my tween. I would also tell my younger self that my body was amazing, and that even though my mum battled with her body, I didn’t have to battle with mine. I would teach my younger self the many ways there are of being smart. At school, I remember feeling like my teachers didn’t think I was clever. I was terrible at maths, I didn’t do my homework, and as a consequence I always sensed my teachers’ frustration and disappointment in me. When I became a teacher myself, I vowed to become the teacher I’d needed when I was growing up, a teacher who saw a child as a whole person, a teacher who understood that there are many different ways of being smart. I would tell my younger self that I was, in fact, very smart; that I was creative, that I was witty, that I was observant, and that I was so much more than the scores I got on my times tables tests. What would you say to your younger self? The time is now. Let it out. Express all the things your inner child should have heard. Do some repair work; make peace with your past. Forgive yourself for the things you didn’t know before you knew them. The future starts now. This is an edited extract from The Tween Mother’s Tool Book Raising Strong Daughters by Amanda Stoke. Available at www.raisingstrongdaughters.com.au

BECOMING INFAMOUS Aussie mum of three Gemma Crowe has always loved swimwear. What started as an expensive teenage addiction, fuelled by a job in the surfwear industry and a mother who loved to sew, grew to Gemma now running her very own swimwear label. A rather famous one too! Online brand Infamous & Mini Swim, founded in 2018, caters for women, men and their minis, and the internet simply can’t get enough of her gorgeous swimmers! Firstly, quickly tell us a bit about your family. I have 3 boys (Taj 12, Jet 5, Duke 2), and another on the way, due in January! To say life is busy is an understatement, but we manage with hard work, organisation and the support of our amazing family. Weeks are spent juggling the business with kids’ school/care/activities, and weekends (whenever we can) we’re at the beach or the river wakeboarding.

How did the idea for a swimwear brand come from? What were you doing before this? My passion for the Infamous & Mini Swim collection came about through Instagram. I am Instagram mad and adore the supportive communities of women built through the platform, not only for the divine imagery but the day-to-day conversations about kids, breastfeeding, husbands, working with kids you name it, we discuss it! I have such a love for beautiful Instagram accounts where Mumma’s would match with their minis! It’s such a hit and I realised there was nothing in the market for complimentary and high-quality swimwear for mums to match with their kids. And so, my concept for Infamous & Mini Swim was born. I’ve always been creative. When I was younger, I was a professional dancer, and while this was short lived the hard work and dedication has stayed with me and helped me get to where I am today. I have tried my hand at many other sectors including retail, marketing and buying, but my passion for boutique shopping led me 48

to co-create a homewares brand. After a few tough years, I decided to close the doors and pursue Infamous Swim. I’ve never looked back.

Once you introduced miniswimwear, so mums and kids could match, your socials blew up. Tell us about this instant growth and how you handled it? It was out of control!... and a little overwhelming at first ha-ha… but honestly, my approach is just to keep it real and authentic, and to create a community where women feel empowered to embrace the essence of who they are – no filters – what you see is what you get. As women, and mamas especially, we play so many roles – life is crazy – I wanted to celebrate that! Having the opportunity to connect with so many amazing women, through different stages of life has been the best part! To answer how we’ve handled it.. hmmm, I’m not sure we have in certain ways... but I have a really amazing small supportive team who are like family and that helps keep us grounded.

What’s the process for designing a new print? My initial consideration is thinking through summer trends, colours and patterns for the coming year. This gets me ‘in the zone’ pretty quickly and from there I’ll sketch or play around with creative ideas. I’m a perfectionist, and the first range took around 8 months to bring to life. Each of our prints are hand-drawn designs. This part is a carefully curated process that includes

sketching, colouring in with pencil, and scanning into a computerised program to make final edits and ensure our prints are perfect.

You’re clearly a very busy mum. What does an average day look like for you? Haha yes! Well, it’s basically get up, breakfast, get kids ready, drop off at school/care, and then more often than not I settle into work by 9am. Between 9am – 3pm every day is different, but right now, being heavily pregnant with my 4th bubba and a penchant for working late, I’ll work for a few hours, have a nap, work for a few more, pick up the boys from school/care, organise dinner/bath/ bed, and then jump back online around 8pm, sometimes until midnight.. I know it’s bad! It’s not easy juggling it all but having the flexibility to pick my own hours so I can spend quality time with my family definitely helps.

What’s your favourite thing about being a mum? The cuddles and big squeezes, the laughs from the silly things they come out with, and hearing ‘mum, I love you’.

Self-care is so important. What is your favourite thing to do for yourself when you need some metime and a break from parenting/ business? Prior to running my own business, I would typically say regular workouts, healthy eating and minimal alcohol intake to nourish the body and mind. However, I must confess that since the launch, my self-care has taken a bit of a backseat. 2020 has also been a really crazy year with COVID – not being able to get out and about as much as we’d like has been hard! To be honest, now I’m just enjoying being able to get out with friends and family for dinner!

What exciting things can we expect next from Infamous? We have some big things on the horizon! Look out for cute matching tracksuits/ lounge wear!

Finally, where can we find your gorgeous swimwear? Find us online at infamousswim.com.au 49

Kids, Dogs, and Mental Health Children and dogs do they go well together? Kids are usually excited about the idea of getting a dog, but as a parent, you are probably aware that there is also a great deal of responsibility coming with having another soul to take care of. Moreover, you could also be worried about whether your kid and the dog will get along well together. Well, research suggests that a canine companion can do a lot of good for your child! And it’s not just about getting a buddy to play with - having a pet also supports the mental health of children. But how exactly can a dog do that? These are 3 ways dogs help develop the mind:

1. A canine companion offers support in every aspect of life Dogs are incredibly loyal creatures. The love they give us is unconditional and something that children tend to understand instinctively. When a child has a dog as a friend, there will always be someone to play with, someone to share their feelings with. Just patting a dog has a calming effect on the human body, and that’s something children can definitely benefit from. It is not rare for kids to feel misunderstood, especially during transitional phases when growing up. Even though you’d like to be there to help them with everything, sometimes they might not be ready to share what’s troubling them. In such cases, a dog companion can provide all the comfort and support needed. For the same reasons, dogs can actually help children become more confident when 50

learning and trying out new things. A dog is a companion that is never judgemental, and even though they can’t talk, they can help us feel understood. For example, this study shows that young kids can gain more confidence and learn faster when reading to dogs!

2. Dogs help children develop healthy relationships with people too Children and dogs have a natural predisposition towards each other. It’s a friendship that’s easy to form, and it can become a model for all the relationships the child will form later in life. When growing up with a dog, the child learns how to respect another living being, on the one hand, and on the other hand knows that no matter what happens they have a companion who will not give up loving them. All of this is something that transfers to relationships with humans too. Interacting with a dog helps build emotional and social intelligence, and these are extremely important aspects of growing up. Developed emotional intelligence and good social skills are the base we need for dealing with the challenges of life. If this sounds a bit too much to be true, let us assure you. It is. Scientists have only recently started studying the effects of dogs on children, but the results are already quite promising. For example, a recent study conducted by a team of researchers from the University of Western Australia and Telethon Kids Institute shows that children from families with dogs tend to be much better off when it comes to mental health.

“While we expected that dog ownership would provide some benefits for young children’s wellbeing, we were surprised that the mere presence of a family dog was associated with many positive behaviours and emotions”, says Professor Hayley Christian in an interview about the study for Medical Xpress. The study has shown that children who grow up around dogs tend to be more emotionally stable, and more social overall. They show antisocial behaviour much less frequently and they are more considerate towards their peers.

3. Dogs help children learn what responsibility means

Final thoughts Having a dog in your household does mean having an additional obligation, but we think the benefits by far outweigh the downsides. Having a canine member of the household can help the whole family be more active and get more exercises. Moreover, activities with the dog create opportunities for everyone to get together. Kids will always have someone to play with or comfort them if need be. And finally, dogs are just bundles of cuteness and joy - it’s hard to say no to that. Sharon Elber is a Professional Trainer at Gentle Dog Trainers, Sydney.

Finally, taking care of a dog helps teach your kids an important concept: responsibility. A dog needs to be fed every day, needs walks, needs regular grooming, and these are all activities even young children can participate in. Let them take on a part of caring for the dog (with supervision of course) and you get an easy opportunity for kids to learn what it means to take care of another living being.

AUTISTIC UNDERSTANDING Being Autistic in 2020 has opened many new opportunities for understanding and acceptance but has equally proven that there is still a long journey ahead for equality.

There are three simple ways to support and interact with people with autism.

Whether it be in school, in a social setting, workplace or at home with family, autistic traits can be misinterpreted.

I have found that as I have become more open and honest about who we are as a family the more comfortable I feel to engage in activities and social outings. Do they go smoothly? Absolutely not, but a simple way to ease the pressure is not being offended if most gatherings are at my home.

When my boys were younger, and my husband and I were learning about the world of autism we very quickly became aware of who would remain in our lives. While our boys were unaware of the horrid gossip and judgements they were subject of, it became too much to bear for us as parents. After years of isolation we started to welcome back the supportive people into our lives. There is a strong autism community out there and it can be easy to forget that for the majority of Australians they have limited exposure to what autistic traits may be. What a lot of people do not know is that autism is a life long disability. The reason the word spectrum is commonly used when discussing the condition is because it manifests very differently from person-to-person – how they think, feel, interact with others, and experience the environment around them. The prevalence of Autism in Australia is now 1 in 70 people. It is no longer about when will I meet someone on the spectrum, chances are you have or know someone who does. Only yesterday I took my youngest son to get a haircut and he cried throughout the cut. When we walked out of the salon, I tried to console him again and tell him it was all finished with words and sign language. A man was sitting outside and loudly said “I had to put up with that noise the whole time.” I was angry, hurt and wished that I had used it to educate him but in that moment my priority was making sure my son was okay and to help him regulate his emotions.

1. Is with family and friends.

In our space the boys are the kings of their castle, they are safe and can retreat into their bedrooms if they need some sensory downtime. My husband and I can also relax much more and enjoy the company of our guests. When we attend someone else’s home, we are on edge the entire time and we walk away in a sweat and hope the next outing is not too soon. As most special needs families will tell you, having a network of people who love us and want to be in our lives is invaluable.

2. School settings Stereotypes and bullying will continue into adulthood no matter who you are, a very sad part of reality. I find that twoway communication with educators, other parents and children is an important step. If I can communicate with the nucleolus that surrounds my children, then while they still may not understand why they behave certain ways they are able to recognise that is part of who they are. The conversations at times may not be comfortable, but as the voice for my children I have had to put aside my fears and ensure that people can ask questions in order to best provide my children with the same opportunities in life and are treated with the same respect as any of their peers.

3. General public Public outings, I’m not going to lie, are really difficult and it depends on how strong I am feeling that day as to how I handle the situation. It is not easy to subject my children to merciless mocking or to watch it take place. Right now, I believe they are unaware of the public’s reaction to them at times, but it is absolutely soul destroying to witness. At times, I can calmly walk over and talk to the stranger who was speaking so loudly it was impossible for the entire shopping centre not to hear. Other times I keep it together long enough to get in the car and I sob and on other occasions I will be that person who yells and says “my son is autistic, how do you feel about mocking an innocent child now?” or something to that effect.

You can be an ally to the autism community by educating those around you why their horrible looks, comments, laughing, and judgements of the boys and our parenting can be so damaging. By Kathrine Peereboom. Kathrine is a mother of three autistic boys and the founder of Spectrum Support, a national organisation dedicated to raising awareness and understanding of autism and providing support, training and education. www.spectrumsupport.org

The prevalence of Autism in Australia is now 1 in 70 people. It is no longer about when will I meet someone on the spectrum, chances are you have or know someone who is.

RENOVATE YOUR RELAT 3 ways parents can practice selfcompassion Have words to the effect of, ‘I never signed up for this!’ ever leaked out of your mouth? Maybe it was whilst desperately wrangling a fiercelooking child as you wrenched them away from their screaming sibling? Was is it in the form of a frustrated sigh whilst on all fours trying to wipe up the aftermath of an upturned bowl of cooked rice now stuck to the furniture? Maybe you’d contemplated this during the dark hours nursing a feverish baby and wracked by worry as you calculated the precious hours of sleep that you might never get back? Could it have been the nervous anticipation as you waited up for the newly licensed driver to return home safely?

Run into another parent down the street and the majority of them will usually mention how ‘busy’ they are. Most of us want to provide a life that was just as good as, or better than, what we had. Many mums and dads are feverishly seeking to keep up with the abundance of activities on offer that expose our children to a myriad of pre- or after-school sports and arts in the hope they’ll be the best that they can be. In the meantime, we can neglect what’s inherently important—the relationship we have with them and the example we set. I love to think of the impact of the amazing people I work with in counselling on their future generations—with their newly acquired conflict resolution and communication skills amongst other things.

TIONSHIP! Whether you’ve mucked up at work, forgotten the dress-up day at school or your teenager refuses to detach from that online game, your brain is the key to responding positively to all these challenges. We won’t always seamlessly execute the greatest response, but when we do there’s certainly no point in continuing to repeat that pattern of overwhelm. The secret is to learn skills to manage anxiety and frustration. I draw your attention to the importance of nurturing parental physical and psychological wellbeing. It’s our responsibility to model this for our children by focusing on our continued growth and change. Whilst parenting involves plenty of self-sacrifices, we create a beautiful nurturing environment for our children when we nourish ourselves. Here are three examples:

Sweat so you don’t forget: One great way to rejuvenate your mind is through exercise. Sorry mum and dad bods, there’s no avoiding this one. Your brain loves it and you’ve got a better chance of keeping up with your children’s energy levels too. Encourage your little student cherubs to take short bursts of exercise before they try to accomplish a new task as they’ll have a far better chance of remembering how to do it. Meanwhile you’ll be able to focus better at work, and improve your comprehension both for tasks at hand and up to 48 hours later! Don’t set yourself up for failure. Start slow and build up to longer stints of exercise so it’s a habit. Repetition and consistency are key.

A beautiful mind: Parenting involves so many joyful, exciting, sad and frustrating twists and turns. For this reason, it’s handy to develop a game plan for being more flexible and resilient and able to deal with challenges in the most optimum way. As a start, perhaps you could set aside some regular 15-minute time slots to visualise, plan and write down what your best version of you looks like? Your core values about parenting and relationships can be quite different from the next person. Who is the ideal you as a parent, sibling, daughter, son etc? What blockages exist that are stopping you from making any changes required? You can do anything you put your mind to and inspiring your children should be right up there in your top priorities. Seek out authors or experts in the fields you’re challenged by and enjoy a beautiful mind.

Stay social: A parent with a rich private life that features integrity through contribution as well as plenty of fun launches healthy, balanced children to their success! Whether you join some sort of meet-up group, find a new hobby, join a fitness group or chat online, your children will benefit from learning about your enriched social life. Edited extract from Renovate Your Relationship by Joanne Wilson, now available at all good bookstores and online at www.relationshiprejuvenator.com

The benefits will undoubtedly flow through to all your relationships when you’re feeling better within yourself from all those happy endorphin chemicals, as well as looking great.

JUST BEING A KID If you’ve got a young daughter at home who watches YouTube, chances are you’re already familiar with Diana. Thanks to the internet, the planet’s most famous six-year-old and star of YouTube channel ‘Kids Diana Show’ – has become something of a cultural phenomenon. Ukrainian sensation Diana appears in videos playing with her family and friends. It is currently the third most watched YouTube channel made for kids in the world with a staggering 70 million subscribers and over 45 billion lifetime views since the first channel launched in 2015. Kids Diana Show’s meteoric rise most recently captivated over 40 million monthly viewers in Australia and over 7 million in New Zealand in August. The entire network of channels starring Diana, translated into nine different languages including English, generated over 5 billion views in August alone. Diana regularly takes viewers on surreal, playful adventures bursting with colour and imagination, along with her brother Roma and parents Olena and Volodymyr. Enchanted by her sweet pretend play, millions of kids around the world have found a playmate in Diana and have been inspired by her playing with her brother Roma and getting up to cute little adventures. And now, thanks to international company Headstart, a new merchandise and toy line based on Diana is available under the name of The Princess of Play, just in time for Christmas!

So just who is Diana? Well she’s originally from the Ukraine but now lives in the US with her brother Roma, 8, star of his own successful YouTube show Kids Roma Show, along with parents Olena and Volodymyr who don’t use their surname for privacy reasons. Olena, who comes up with most of the video ideas, says she and her husband are proud of their kids and support them in their dreams. “The only difference, perhaps, is that for several hours a day they are involved in filming and we have to keep an extra eye out to watch them very carefully when we are in public places,” she says.

We asked Olena to tell us a bit more about her daughter... What does Diana enjoy doing the most on Kids Diana Show? Diana and Roma love to discover new toys and like when we do something fun together as a family. We like to make videos that are interesting to our viewers and love that they appreciate what we do.

Does Diana watch other kids YouTube channels as well? Yes, in fact we all watch other people’s channels to see what’s interesting and new. Diana and Roma also love good films, cartoons, fairy tales, educational videos, videos about animals and magic tricks.

Do Diana and Roma get recognised often? We are recognised quite often. Previously, Roma and Diana were shy, but now they are used to it. It is easy for them to make new friends anywhere. Children consider them to be their acquaintances and come up to us at playgrounds and in shopping centers. Actually, the parents often recognise them first and bring their children to say hi.

What are Diana’s hobbies?

listens to audiobooks, and watches movies with the whole family. Diana loves to draw and often surprises us with interesting drawings, whilst Roma loves to build tracks for balls and cars, collect constructors. We also love to take them to interesting places, visit amusement parks, water parks, playgrounds, as well as regular places like the supermarket!

What are Diana’s favourite toys and things to play? Diana loves her cat very much and she has lots of different plush animal toys. She also likes to make various crafts and draw or colour pictures.

What’s her favourite food? She love sweets, ice cream and cakes, but she also eats soups, cereals, fruits, vegetables, salads and fish. Although she loves sweets more!

How much does Diana know about Australia? Well she knows that it is a big island and kangaroos live there! We would all love to travel there one day, it would be so interesting to see how people live in Australia, the nature, animals and the sights.

Has she said what she’d like to be when she grows up? Before, Diana wanted to be a ballerina or an actress, but now she wants to design houses and be an actress at the same time. Or who knows - maybe she’ll change her mind! The Love Diana Princess of Play range is available from all good retailers. The range includes apparel, sleepwear, stationery arts and crafts and toys. Hot toys for Christmas priced from $16.99 include Mini Dolls; Cupcake Cart; Light Up Fairy Diana; Diana and Honey; hairstyling toy Style Me Diana which includes 10 surprises; PopStar Diana doll; Mystery Shopper with surprises; and Mashups – Diana hairstylist/ astronaut doll, superhero/princess and mermaid/ party doll.

On weekdays, Diana studies singing and music, and learns English. She also does different crafts, plays board games, plays a dancing video game,

SEARCH FOR PERFECTION The 3 ways to get over your search for perfection and embrace your flaws The pursuit of being truly human is discombobulating. We are so damn tough on ourselves. Learning to be enough with exactly who you are is not an easy journey. Many of you believe that to be whole that you should pursue, not just being better, but being perfect. Either perfect at your job, your parenting, your partnering or your physical self. What if I told you that achieving peace with who you are and where you are at in life is far easier than you think? The answer, I believe, is making friends with being flawsome.

So how do you make peace with who you are in all your colours? Well there is no checklist. Life is not a clear path. But there are three principles that when explored can help you be a better friend, leader, parent, partner, colleague and person.

How can I be flawsome?

1. Understand your triggers

Flawsome is not just making peace with your flaws; it’s knowing that without them, you would not be you. It goes beyond surrendering to your flaws; it means owning them, understanding them and knowing that admitting them gives you your power. It doesn’t take your power away.

Have you ever played a character in a play? Or been in a band, or part of a group presentation or played in a team sport? For you to play your role you would have been looking for cues from someone else. Whether the cue was a phrase, a look, a movement, you would have looked for it to indicate it was your turn. Ideally anyway.

Many of you will know the global icon Celeste Barber. Celeste made a name for herself via her ‘#celestechallengeaccepted’ social media series, which began in 2015 as a ‘fun experiment to see what it would look like for an average person to photograph herself doing rich-people things’. Her re-enactments of celebrity and model photos complete with weird poses and outfits are LOL-worthy. She takes the mickey out of people and exaggerates her own flaws for humour.

Identifying the things that trigger you off in life is the same. But if you don’t know what to look for, you won’t get to learn about the role you play when life, people or circumstances trigger you into a response. The reactions become things that either help us grow, and those around us, or hinder this growth. When we stay in our stress responses we are trapped.

I think one of the reasons we love her so much (aside from how hilarious she is) is that she is real. She is not hiding her body; she is saying; ‘This is me, I am flawsome’. And she’s made a living from it. With 7.4 million followers, a flourishing comedy career and a book deal, she is doing fine.

The thing is, we are drawn to people not for their perfection, but for their acceptance of their imperfections. We admire people who may seem flawless, but they are hard to connect with and understand, and very hard to be like. The Pratfall Effect says that if you want to build trust quickly with people, showing your flaws is one way to do this. It’s about showing your vulnerability, and in doing so, that increases your connection with others.

Understanding the things that hold us back from being present and how we can learn from them is like finding gold. If you dare to look for it. Once we know our triggers it’s easier to know how to seek the truth.

2. Seek the truth The truth is tricky. What’s the truth in conversations or situations? Is it what you think, or another’s perspective? Maybe it’s a combo of both. Maybe it’s neither. Reconciling what you believe about yourself and the impact it has on

those around you is where you learn. It might not be comfortable at the start but when you use this as data to help you grow, it becomes freeing. We need to remain open to whatever is coming our way. When we treat feedback as information, not a personal attack, the learning begins. When we react poorly, and stay in our triggers, we stifle our opportunity to evolve. It’s the curiosity and our search for truth when the magic begins. It’s fear that holds us back from moving into our transformation.

3. Continue your transformation This is where your courage lies. The courage to be open to many truths, to know that one person’s perspective of you is just that. It’s not automatically adopting others’ beliefs, or punishing them for having them. It’s seeing it as an opportunity to add to what you already know. The aim is to to your pool of knowledge, not diminish it.

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Transformation is endless and it requires discomfort. To know that you are perfectly flawed. That you are awesome because of your flaws. It’s the differences in each other that make us valuable. We just need to learn how to embrace our inner flawsome. To learn that the journey to being whole, is learning to be holey. By Georgia Murch. Georgia is an expert in designing feedback cultures and helping people reconcile the feedback they give themselves. She is a best-selling author and has recently launched her third book, Flawsome: The Journey to Being Whole is Learning to be Wholey (Major Street Publishing). For more information on how we can help people and organisations visit www.georgiamurch.com

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