RELATIONSHIPS IN THE 4 ways to cultivate strong lasting personal relationships in the digital age. ‘The Social Dilemma’, currently on Netflix, is the latest in a string of researched documentaries or studies adding credence to ‘back to basics’ when it comes to human connection in this digital age. So many industry leaders, co founders, vice presidents and ethical designers are growing in numbers to voice concerns over addictions with technology. Chamath Palihapitiya, a former Facebook executive, notably expresses personal concern for helping create ‘tools that are starting to erode the social fabric of how society works.’ It’s a telling sign so many innovators or digital execs minimise access to tools they’ve helped create with their own offspring. The digital age is here to stay as we continue racing into the future. It’s the manner in which we choose to use the tech in our own hands that helps maintain strong relationships in a hyper connected, tech addicted digital age. Here’s four ways.
1. Take off the masks The first may be learned powerfully from the words of a teenage girl during a seminar I delivered on human behaviour and human connection. ‘Oh this explains so much! I get it. I was pretending to be really emo (emotional) to land the hot guy. Which I did! But then after a while it didn’t work because, you know, we’re just not that alike.’ Authenticity is a powerful causation inviting or adding value into our lives and the lives of others. Pretending for the sake of connection often fuels more heartache or disconnection. Authenticity allows a healthy stickiness over neediness. 30
Our historical predecessors thousands of years ago might have been lucky to interact with 150 mainstay connections in a lifetime. These days people invest so much time filtering highlights for highlights. Seeking to gain a far greater number from a single social post in the duration of a coffee break. Yet the price is significant. A short term dopamine fix of surface, shallow or even fake, loveliness from a digital collection of every Tom, Dick or Harriet bundled into one happy bucked labelled ‘friends’ often only serves to pull us away from the gems in this world.
2. The biggest dirty little secret Jack Welch, former CEO of GE, describes the second trait wonderfully, regardless of whether applied personally or professionally, as ‘the biggest dirty little secret in business.’ A lack of candour costs a business so much: trust, productivity, innovation, time, everything. The same is true for our personal relationships. They suffer where transparency is sabotaged or subterranean. If someone you truly value has upset you, tell them. Few people have developed their psychic ability to accurately or fully read minds! The digital age seems to breed the anti-thesis of candour, with phenomena like ‘ghosting’ or a ‘cancel culture’ taking off. A conversation culture, rather than a cut off one, is better for relationships and the social fabrics of community.
3. Two common languages We live in world with 196 recognised countries and over 7000 known languages. More than half the world’s population speak the top ten. Yet there remains two common languages all understand that transcend differences, divisions and geographical boundaries. What’s more, neither require the utterance of words. And no, they are not the languages of SMS or emojis! How often do you ask friends to help you translate both!
