Mamatoga Holiday 2013

MAMAT GA Saratoga’s First Parenting Magazine

Holiday

Shop • Eat • Give Holiday Guide

Drilling for Hope To Elf or Not to Elf? Getting to the Core

Every child learns differently SmartEarly embraces this fact and teaches to each child's learning style.

Truly dedicated teachers Our teachers are truly committed to the care and education of young children.

Always clean center SmartEarly's high standards for cleanliness result in healthier and happier children.

Child Care & Preschool

www.smartearly.com

State-of-the-art security Controlled access, cameras recording 24/7 and software monitoring everyone's location at any given moment.

Secure supervision Watch your child learn and grow throughout the day via a web browser or smartphone.

518.406.2434 39 Old Route 146 Clifton Park, NY 12065

Imprinting minds for a lifetime of learning.

CARING for the MOST IMPORTANT

PEOPLE

in the WORLD, YOUR CHILDREN

of Glens Falls

Specializing in pediatric dentistry for children in an environment where they feel safe and comfortable.

Saturday Appointments Available We Participate With Many Insurances (Including CSEA and GHI)

A Wide Variety of Comfort Options Laughing Gas • Mild Sedatives • Local Anesthesia

Digital X-Rays State-of-the-Art Sterilization and Equipment

Schedule Your Child’s Appointment Today!

88 Broad Street, Glens Falls, NY 12801

•

Tel: 518.798.9966

•

pediatricdentistryofglensfalls.com

pdgf .info @ gmail.com

The Place for holiday shopping! www.NORTHSHIRE.com

&

BOOKS CRAFTS GAMES CLOTHES PLUSH TOYS MORE

JUST FOR KIDS

& 20% OFF

HARDCOVER ADULT

SHOP LOCAL Keep your dollars in your community.

Open Sun/Mon 10 am-9 pm Tue, Wed, Thur, Fri & Sat. 10 am- 10 pm 424 Broadway, Saratoga Springs, NY 12866 ▶ 518.682.4200 855.339.5990

6 | MAMATOGA Holiday

Let’s Ring in the New Year!

Balance

New Year’s Fun For All Ages:

Carnival games, Wii games/Rock Band, Oversized Jenga and Connect 4, Scavenger Hunt, Balloon Artist, Magician and Much More.

Rates Starting at $149

We believe that there is more to life than taking tests. www.waldorfsaratoga.org

Children 12 and Under Always Eat For Free!

Holiday Inn Resort Lake George

2223 State Rt 9, Lake George, NY (518) 668-5781 • www.lakegeorgeturf.com

!

Like us to receive special offers and news!

www.Mamatoga.com

| 7

Letter from the Editor I just love the holidays in Saratoga. No matter how cold it gets, Broadway is always packed for the Victorian Streetwalk, and there is always a huge mob of kids for the tree lighting, everyone cheering as the lights finally get switched on. Seeing the kids’ faces as Santa arrives via sleigh on Broadway is just incredible.

Our community really pulls out all the stops, from carolers to costumed Saratogians strolling the streets, it’s nothing short of magical.

Our family traditions have been built on these community gatherings here in Saratoga. The tree lighting, Breakfast with Santa, First Night, Chowderfest. They are part of our shared family history, and the fact that everyone in our community knocks themselves out to make it the best each year is just incredible.

Our community also amazes me with how much they give during the holiday season. Every holiday season my inbox is flooded with messages from people asking me where the Toys for Tots collection will be, or how they can “adopt a family” for the season. Giving is just part of our culture here in Saratoga, which is one of the many reasons I love raising my family here.

There is a feeling of wanting to support each other, of supporting our local businesses and wanting them to succeed, of supporting those in need, and supporting local causes and projects. It’s a feeling you get all year round in Saratoga, but it really kicks into high gear during the holidays.

When I think about what I am thankful for this holiday season, I have to put my “Saratoga Nerd” hat on and say I am thankful

Jenny Witte

Jake Van Ness

CEO & Founder

Creative Director

Kelli Lovdahl

Lynda Witte

Photographer

Takeout Coordinator

Sean O’Keefe

Toddler Wrangler

Mamatoga, LLC

Publisher publishing@mamatoga.com 8 | MAMATOGA Holiday

for you guys, for this city, and that I get to raise my family in such a special, unique community. It truly is a big village that looks out for and supports it’s members. Last week we were at the Brook Tavern with some good friends for the TJ’s Turkeys benefit, and it was packed. It honestly brought a tear to my eye that so many people came out to support this great cause, putting turkeys on the tables for those in our community who can’t afford a Thanksgiving dinner. TJ, the local 13 year old that started the organization was there, and to me he’s a perfect example of Saratoga. It’s people like TJ and his family, our small business owners that support causes like his, and you guys that come out to make the whole thing complete.

Many heartfelt wishes to you and yours this holiday season.

May it be merry, bright, peaceful, and full of love.

xoxo - Jenny

FEATURES MAMAT GA Saratoga’s First Parenting Magazine

Holiday

Shop • Eat • Give Holiday Guide

Holiday Guide 29 Drilling for Hope 12 To Elf or Not to Elf? 16

Drilling for Hope To Elf or Not to Elf? Getting to the Core

Getting to the Core 18 Cover photo and design by Deanna Fox

TABLE Local Treats

35

Gingerbread Jockeys Recipe

52

PLAY Giddy Up

14

Holiday Calendar

22

Adventure in Co-Parenting Let’s Do This #26 Acts

24

44

50

HEALTH Secondary Infertility

26

STYLE Wish List

39

Mean Girls in Mommyland

48

T A B L E O F C O N T E N T S

www.Mamatoga.com

| 9

CONTRIB Julie Cox

Kelli Lovdahl

Deanna Fox

Julie Cox is a busy working mother to Jackson (11), Declan (3), and Beckett (1). She spends her time teaching high school English here in Saratoga Springs, driving her minivan all over Saratoga County, battling toddler bedtime, helping with math homework, and even attempting to crack open a good book now and then. She is a proud and decidedly non-evil stepmother and is thrilled to be working with Katie Nemer to bring their Adventures in CoParenting to the world.

Photographer Kelli has always enjoyed working with children and loves their happy and carefree nature. She decided that the perfect job would be a child photographer – combining her love for kids with her creative side. She is currently pursuing a BFA in Photography at the College of Saint Rose.

Deanna is an aspiring world bocce champion and daydreams of building a sailboat. When not working in or writing about the food industry, she can be found holding impromptu dance parties with her children on their farm in Upstate NY. More can be found at www.deannafox.org

10 | MAMATOGA Holiday

BUTORS Robin Dalton

Katie Nemer

Jake Van Ness

Robin is originally from New York City and graduated from Cornell University. In 2008, she moved to Saratoga Springs and joined Roohan Realty. She is an avid marathon runner and Ironman triathlete and the coToga Tattler columnist for the Saratogian newspaper. Mrs. Dalton lives in Saratoga Springs with her husband Matt and their three young children; sons John Matthew and Charlie, and baby girl Alice, as well as their beloved lab Smushie.

Katie is a toga mama to Jackson (11), Zoe (3), Preston (1) and Cocoa (the family lab). She and her husband, Josh, are huge fans of Saratoga and of Mamatoga magazine. Julie Cox is Jackson’s stepmom and Katie’s Co-author for their column, “Adventures in Co-Parenting”. Together they share their story about the many benefits, challenges, and humorous events that arise when sharing a child between two houses.

Jake is a graphic designer and print specialist, with 12 years of experience, who grew up in Saratoga Springs. His business Graphic Precision (www.graphicprecision.com) is responsible for the Mamatoga brand design and keeping the Mamatoga.com website running smoothly. Jake is the creative involved with the design and layout of Mamatoga magazine.

www.Mamatoga.com

| 11

DRILLING FOR Photo by Emma Dodge Hanson.

O

ver the past 8 years, local humanitarian and author Karen Flewelling, has made 20 trips to remote villages in 14 Countries around the world. Her self-funded travels have provided access to an every day convenience here in the United States - water. The ripple effect of clean water for these remote villages has been to say the least, life-changing if not life-saving: in Uganda, small children were drinking from the same watering hole where wild animals also drink and excrete waste; in Tanzania, women and young girls are dying from child birth related medical conditions when surgical procedures lack a necessary sterile environment; in Malawi, young girls lose out on an opportunity for education because they are walking hours a day to fill a pail of water. In the 14 years since her retirement from teaching Physical Education, Karen has drilled 31 wells, and funded 10 cisterns and 34 water filters across Africa, Central, and South America.

12 | MAMATOGA Holiday

Hope

Today, Karen’s projects and humanitarian efforts have transformed. After attracting attention from donors eager to help, Karen set up a fund with the Community Foundation for the Greater Capital Region in Albany – a nonprofit organization devoted to the stewardship of donations for charitable donations. And Drilling for Hope (www. drillingforhope.org) was born. The Drilling for Hope website was designed to help Karen collect donations that will fund the drilling of wells in villages where water is not potable and easily accessible, resulting in a ripple effect that has had serious health consequences for affected communities. In addition, Drilling for Hope provides livestock to families, and sponsors children who would otherwise not receive an education. Funding is also applied to the purchase of

school supplies and sports equipment, as well as medical supplies and funding/equipment for medical care. Karen pays her own travel expenses, as well as food and lodging.

Every donation goes 100% to the people and well drilling endeavors.

This past May, a special event designed to raise funds and draw more attention to the cause was held at Spring Street Gallery in Saratoga Springs. Famed local photographer, Emma Dodge Hanson had accompanied Karen on trip to Nepal in March 2012. Prints from their travels – some as large a VW Beetle - were on display, with proceeds from the event going directly to the cause. $7000 in total was contributed by the generous people of the Capital Region, and prints are still available on the Drilling for Hope website, the sale of which goes directly to Drilling for Hope.

To add to the mounting publicity for Drilling for Hope, Karen reached another major milestone: a book of her journals was published. Drilling for Hope: One Woman’s Work to Provide Clean Water was released nationwide by Tate Publishing, and she has been traveling around the Capital Region engaging audiences at local book stores and libraries reading excerpts from the book and presenting a slide show of images from her many trips - at times heart aching.

You might say Karen’s professional career as a Physical Education teacher/Administrator/Field Hockey coach at Shaker High School was the most appropriate preparation for drilling wells around the world. Certainly, as with any sport, a strategic eye and keen discipline cultivated the sort of attitude necessary to execute on such a task: assembling and harnessing the power of teams and fostering a sense of community, while liaising and overseeing projects from start to finish.

After retiring from teaching, Karen volunteered for Earthwatch and other international service organizations to help save endangered species. It was during these travels that she set her sights on another cause – to help struggling

families in impoverished communities. She began in 2005 in Kenya, where she donated 28 goats for 25 families with no male in the household. Subsequently, she has implemented 2 projects each year.

In March 2014, Karen will be making her ninth trip to Africa - traveling to both Rwanda and Tanzania. In Rwanda, Karen joins forces with a local organization there to drill 4 wells and provide goats, school supplies, and soccer balls for the children. The cost for the Rwandan project will be $16,500; $3500 for each well and $2500 for the goats, and other supplies. In Tanzania, the wells are more expensive because they are solar powered. Each well is $15,650. In addition to funding clean water wells, Karen will be parlaying the funds of donors into much needed fistula operations. Fistulas occur when there is a tear in the genitalia as a result of difficult childbirth. It is practically unheard of in the United States, where we have healthy birthing environments and the medical expertise to address such medical complications.

Unattended, fistulas have serious medical, and even psychological, consequences. These women (and young girls) are ostracized from their societies as the fistulas have chronic effects, not the least of which is constant leakage and eventual rotting of the flesh.

Drilling for Hope, as the name suggests, provides more than clean water. It offers hope for an improved quality of life, survival for thousands of families around the world, and a sustainable solution to unnecessary suffering the result of a lack of clean water.

To contribute to the Drilling for Hope cause, visit drillingforhope.org. There you can purchase Karen’s book, Drilling for Hope: One Woman’s Work to Provide Clean Water, buy prints of the photographs in Nepal taken

by Emma Dodge Hanson, or simply make an online donation. M

www.Mamatoga.com

| 13

G

Y D ID

L

UP

ooking for a fun way to get your kid outdoors, get them active, and get them learning? Try horseback riding. There are many benefits unique to horseback riding that you can’t always find on the playing fields at the local park. Moreover, the benefits of horse involvement are enduring, as a child’s “horse habit” can evolve into a rewarding lifelong hobby.

its aerobic benefits, riding also helps kids develop balance, coordination, and flexibility. Moreover, the activities involved in caring for a horse–grooming, hefting buckets and saddles, cleaning stalls–can make for a great upper-body workout.

Then, too, as children learn how important good nutrition, veterinary check-ups, dental work, and regular exercise are to a horse, they begin to appreciate their own health needs.

Handling, riding, and caring for a horse or pony can develop a host of positive traits in a child, including responsibility, accountability, patience, level-headedness, empathy, kindness, and self-discipline. At North Country Horses in Gansevoort, the “lesson” doesn’t end when the instruction part is over. Kids are taught from day one where to find the tack, how to put the tack on, how to care for the horse and are encouraged to be hands on in taking care of the horse or pony they are riding. Once they learn the ropes they are responsible for finding and putting away their own equipment, tacking up their own horse, and making sure the horse is clean after they are done with their lesson.

Equine nature itself can have a positive effect on kids. Since horses respond to what their riders do, riding enables kids to understand that their choices, attitudes, and behaviors affect the other living creatures around them.

Riding is also really great exercise for kids. If you think the horse is doing all the work, you are mistaken. Apart from 14 | MAMATOGA Holiday

There are different options for riding at North Country Horses, kids can ride alone with the instructor or in a group lesson, and kids can choose to ride English or Western (or they can try both). If they want to get into competing at horse shows the staff at North Country is great at helping get them on the path to winning those ribbons. Kids don’t have to have any experience with riding at all to start, and you don’t need to buy any expensive equipment either. Give them a call at (518) 441-5959 to schedule a lesson and you’ll have a pony mad child in no time. M

O

by Jenny Witte

ne thing that is great about having kids is that you get to experience the holidays like a kid again through their eyes. You buy the “Baby’s 1st” holiday bibs, new onesies maybe, take a thousand photos, all that good stuff. Once they are old enough they might sit on Santa’s lap and go to the Christmas tree lighting downtown. You remember all of those great family traditions, recipes, memories, things you want them to experience just like you did growing up. You also have an opportunity to incorporate new ones, things you maybe didn’t do growing up, things you wish you had done, things you felt you missed out on. Sometimes making it all fit in together can be a challenge, meshing old with new, trying to make it all work, and forging your own family’s set of traditions takes on a life of its own.

Enter, the Elf on the Shelf. Now, in case you are unfamiliar with this little guy, he’s apparently one of Santa’s elves that comes to your house the night after Thanksgiving?

I think? And he is supposed to watch over your kids from his special perch (sound creepy yet?) and report back every night to Santa. A lot of people think the Elf is really “fun”, mostly I have gathered that people (myself included) use the Elf as a sort of watchdog/threat for the preschool set. “I wouldn’t do that if I were you, you know who will tell SANTA!” (said while pointing and nodding sagely at the Elf ). Our Elf really took on a menacing quality, mostly due to my own efforts. The kids actually would become afraid that

the Elf would tell on him, and all of their delight at finding him in the morning would soon evaporate and I swear the Elf ’s eyes would become narrower and more hawk-like as the days wore on till Christmas. I tried to soften the Elf ’s image up a bit for the kids, I would tell them not to worry, it would all work itself out come holiday time, but to no avail. If they spilled something, they would immediately start begging me, “Don’t tell the elf ! Don’t tell THE ELF!” The other fun side to the whole Elf on the Shelf experience is that you too as parents get to have a role. you get to hide the Elf every night after the kids go to bed, and by “hide every night” I mean you scramble to throw him somewhere new as the kids are coming down the stairs in the busy morning rush. All of your visions of coming up with cute little hiding places go to hell as you try to rig those skinny little Elf legs around the lampshade praying that he’ll stay upright long enough so the kids will buy it. And if he falls on the floor?

Guess what! That’s his new “hiding place” for the day! Oh, and if you DO come up with a great place and plan it all out ahead of time? They don’t notice. That is the day they forget about the old Elf. Which then leads you to trying to remind them, “Oh hey, where is that little Elf guy today? Is he…in the closet??” as your creativity is wasted for the day.

If you need ideas, there are a ton, and I mean a ton of ideas. There are even these crazy ideas of having your Elf be “mischievous” and make “silly messes” in your house.

Like the one where your Elf switches the closets around in your house. Now, while I applaud this mom’s creativity and desire to inject a little magic in her children’s lives, it begs the question that who has the time for this? Furthermore, who would want to take the time to switch an entire closet just for one second of surprise? Just to then have to put it all back again? I’m all for fostering imagination and make believe in children but come on. It needs to end here. One site suggests having the Elf “make a mess in the bathroom with the toothpaste”. Um, you know what? I already have two little guys who do that perfectly fine all by themselves, and the only thing I can find less appealing than cleaning up their toothpaste mess is cleaning up one I did by myself.

Pretending to be an Elf.

And then you have the inevitable mom guilt with the Elf on the Shelf. Here are moms who devote entire websites to Elf ideas and I can’t come up with one other place to hang this guy than the same lampshade (he really likes that lampshade). I had one stressful holiday preparation day where I got trapped in a mom guilt spiral that began with an Elf on the Shelf Fail that led to me flipping through a cookbook full of cookie ideas that I couldn’t muster up the nerve to try, then failing to locate the Lalaloopsy doll that was at the top of Lev’s list and left me wondering why I put myself under this kind of pressure anyway?

I inadvertently sucked all the fun out of something that was supposed to be a great new tradition by creating an Elf on the Shelf Police State in my home and then guilting myself into thinking I wasn’t doing enough with said Elf. I had the best intentions of course, I just wanted them to eat their vegetables and be nice to each other and I wanted to create a new and fun holiday tradition, but I turned the Elf into something we all dreaded for different reasons.

This year, I’m going to keep the Elf, I am. I’m going to read the book the night before and hopefully locate him in the holiday bin in the basement storage area (the Elf ’s luxurious off season home). I’m going to try to remember to move him, but if I don’t, it’s going to be on the Elf, not me. He is going to be a lazy Elf this year. Maybe he’ll move from the lampshade, maybe he’ll set up shop there all season. Either way the lesson should be to make this stuff fun for everyone, cause the kids catch on really quickly if it isn’t fun for you.

If it’s a chore for you it’s a chore for them, and no holiday tradition needs to be a chore. Don’t like making ten different kinds of cookies? Don’t. Chances are the kids will only remember their one favorite kind anyway. Don’t want to go nuts decorating the house? Skip it. Have the kids put up their own decorations. Make your holiday special for your family, and if that includes having your Elf come complete with little “doughnuts” handmade from Cheerios then more power to you. My Elf is going to be taking a nap under the coffee table.

www.Mamatoga.com

| 17

Getting to the

CORE E

ducation in our public schools has undergone a major change. A total of 45 states, including New York, have adopted the Common Core Standards Initiative, which focus on the subjects of math and English language arts. Sometimes change is good, and sometimes change is necessary. This change, however, has some parents up in arms, and some of them are deciding to have their kids “refuse” to take the standardized state testing, with many parents asking Education Commissioner John King, Jr. to delay the program until it is improved.

At some recent forums and school board meetings across the state, parents and educators have criticized the Common Core, from the difficulty and rigor of the work to the effects it is having on both students and teachers. No matter how you look at it, the Common Core is a huge topic of debate at the moment with parents and educators speaking out against various aspects of the curriculum, the new testing and accountability standards and the collection of private student data by third party providers.

According to the Mission Statement from CommonCore. org, the Common Core State Standards are meant to “provide a consistent, clear understanding of what students are expected to learn, so teachers and parents know what

18 | MAMATOGA Holiday

by Jenny Witte

they need to do to help them. The standards are designed to be robust and relevant to the real world, reflecting the knowledge and skills that our young people need for success in college and careers. With American students fully prepared for the future, our communities will be best positioned to compete successfully in the global economy.”

The Common Core standards are aimed at helping children in grades K-12 acquire “sophisticated reasoning skills”.

English language arts and math were the subjects chosen for the Common Core State Standards because they are “areas upon which students build skill sets which are used in other subjects” according to CommonCore.org. They are also the subjects most frequently assessed for accountability purposes.

“We know that the Common Core is key,” John King, the New York education commissioner, told teachers at a training session in Albany last July. “This work is the bridge between what we hope for our students and where we are.”

New York, along with Kentucky, became one of two states that have tested students according to the Common Core when it administered exams last April. Test scores dropped dramatically. Statewide, 31.1 percent of students scored proficient or higher in reading, compared to 55.1 percent

last year on the non-Common Core aligned tests. In math, 31 percent of students statewide scored proficient, compared to 64.8 percent last year.

While many parents and educators applaud the idea of higher standards when it comes to education, many also feel that the new testing requirements were turning children off to school and adding undue pressure and frustration to their everyday lives. The difficulty and rigor of the work, as well as the fact that special needs students take the same test are just a few of the concerns. Parents have spoken out over increased levels of anxiety and stress in their children, behavioral problems, sleep deprivation, respiratory issues, and in worst cases, self-abusive and self-destructive behaviors, that have been brought on because of the new testing requirements.

Some also believe the new standards leave little to no room for teachers to innovate to meet the unique needs of their students.

Many are also against the idea that Common Core is a “onesize-fits-all” education policy that assumes every student learns exactly the same. Opponents of the new standards argue that top down and centrally controlled standards will hurt students’ creativity and learning, without leaving room for the idea that all students have different learning styles, preferences, and paces.

Jessie Casey Weatherwax’s daughter had severe test anxiety in 3rd grade. “She was told over and over how important these tests were. She spent months preparing and learning the correct way to fill in a Scantron test sheet, how to look for answers that were designed to trick her which she called ‘distractors’. She came home with practice tests and even practiced how to write her name in the squares provided so the test could be read easily. All this while there was no time for daily recess and no time for more field trips,” said Jessie.

Their family thought long and hard for a very long time about whether or not their daughter would refuse the new state assessments based on the common core last year.

“We included her in our final decision,” said Jessie. “For us, the problems are much bigger than this series of assessments given over an 8 day period in April.”

“We have been told repeatedly in our school and in many public schools across NY that there just isn’t enough time for recess every day, not enough time to go on field trips more than once a year, not enough time for kids to experiment and explore and have fun,” continued Jessie.

“We have been told that our schools are failing, that our teachers don’t care, don’t work hard or aren’t smart enough.

But the problem with all this is that most of us see the

“Standardized tests can’t measure initiative, creativity, imagination, conceptual thinking, curiosity, effort, irony, judgment, commitment, nuance, good will, ethical reflection, or a host of other valuable dispositions and attributes. What they can measure and count are isolated skills, specific facts and function, content knowledge, the least interesting and least significant aspects of learning.”

- Bill Ayers, American elementary education theorist

www.Mamatoga.com

| 19

work that our children come home with and we know it’s beyond anything we were doing at that age. We get calls from their teachers at all hours when they are concerned about our kids and they give us ideas and strategies to help them succeed. We know they aren’t failing. We are the land of innovation and thinking outside the box. We create and invent. And then as parents we watch as our children lose the fire and the light in their eyes and start to think learning is not fun, because it isn’t anymore.”

In April of 2013, nearly 8,000 New York state parents opted their children out of Common Core-aligned exams. While circumstances around refusing or opting out vary from state to state, multiple Supreme Court cases and the 14th Amendment give parents the “fundamental right” to direct the course of their children’s education. Tons of groups have popped on facebook with parents joining in to the conversation to learn more.

When Jessie sent in her refusal letter, she was surprised with the response. “We received a letter saying that was not allowed. We were told out daughter must take the test. When we reminded them that there is no legal obligation to take the test we were told she must sit through the test each day it was given and she could not read or help in another room. She would have to sit quietly and not draw, write or do anything. In the end we sent in our refusal letter and decided to keep her home during the test period and bring her to school immediately after testing concluded.”

Western New Yorkers for Public Education is a grassroots group of parents, educators and community members who believe our Public Schools should be well-funded, have small class sizes, with a diverse curriculum that includes history, science, music, arts, and physical education. They are against the use of high-stakes testing in our schools and their goal is to educate parents and community members about the real education that children are receiving and to help parents understand what the options are for their children.

20 | MAMATOGA Holiday

According to their website, there is no negative effect on your child if they do not take the standardized tests, with the one exception being the Regents Exams or at the high school level, and there are no implications for the teacher.

Also according to their website, refusals are scored as “999” which means the score is invalid, and it does not affect the school report card. Schools are required to have 95% participation on State tests. For schools that have less than 95% participation on State tests, it only has a financial affect on Title I (low income/disadvantaged) schools. If a Title I school has less than 95% participation then the school district must set-aside 5-15% of district Title I funding into a set-aside account. This money is to be used to pay for transportation/support of students that ask to be transferred to another school in the district and to provide tutorial/ supportive services to students that request it. If the money is not used it remains with the school district. Many parents do not consider transferring their child to another school simply because there was less than 95% participation on the tests. And many parents do not request extra tutorial services after normal school hours because they feel it is necessary for children to have free time. So it is likely that much of this set-aside money will remain with the district.

If you are considering having your child refuse the tests, the parents and educators from Western New Yorkers for Public Education suggest keeping a friendly, open communication with the principal of your child’s school, and working with them to create an acceptable environment for your child. If all else fails, you reserve the right to remove the child from the test once they have refused the test.

Right now, the future of the Common Core in New York is still under much debate. Commissioner John B. King Jr., who sends his own children to a private Montessori school, has put on hold three Town Hall meetings planned across the state, which for the first time would have let parents and teachers ask him about testing and the Common Core.

King, in a statement, said he had been looking forward to speaking with parents.

“The disruptions caused by the ‘special interests’ have deprived parents of the opportunity to listen, ask questions and offer comments,” he said. “Essentially, dialogue has been denied.” Dennis Tompkins, a King spokesman, declined to identify the special interests King was referring to in his statement.

Whether you have a child in pre-K or one in school already, following along with the developments of the Common Core in our state is something that should be a top priority.

The curriculum and tests used in New York were developed

by Pearson. Other states, such as California, will see a more gradual rollout, with trials next spring of new tests from the

Smarter Balance consortium, and perhaps some changes will be in store for our kids based on experiences in other states. M To keep up to date, check out some of the resources online here: www.engageny.org www.unitedoptout.com www.nystoptesting.com www.commoncore.org

www.Mamatoga.com

| 21

CALEN Tuesday, November 19th

Saturday, December 7th

Sunday, November 24th

Saturday, December 7th

Thursday, November 28th

Saturday, December 7th and Sunday, December 8th

Pie Perfection Class Healthy Living Market and Café 5:30 - 8:00pm Jake’s Help from Heaven Shopping Event Piper Boutique 12pm Annual Turkey Trot 5k Run / Walk Saratoga Springs 8:30am - $22; $25 after Nov 15

Thursday, December 5th Victorian Streetwalk Downtown Saratoga Springs 6 - 10pm

Thursday, December 5th

Breakfast with Santa Saratoga Springs City Center 8:00, 9:30 and 11:00 a.m. - $8 per person Sundaes with Santa Saratoga City Center 12:30pm - $8 per person

Northeast Ballet’s Annual Production of the Nutcracker www.proctors.org for tickets

Thursday, December 12th

Join The Sip Event - “Toys for Tots” Druthers $15 each, accompanied by a toy

Thursday, December 19th

Saratoga Tree Lighting Ceremony Putnam Market 6pm

A Family Holiday Show with Seth & The Moody Melix Stillwater High School Auditorium 7pm

Friday, December 6th

Tuesday, December 31st

Ballston Spa Holiday Parade and Tree Lighting 6:30 - 9pm

Friday December 6th till Thursday December 12th The 9th Annual Saratoga Restaurant Week Saratoga Springs Restaurants

22 | MAMATOGA Holiday

Saratoga First Night Downtown Saratoga Starting at 5pm - $15

For more events and information visit Mamatoga.com for the complete Holiday Guide

NDAR holiday

Nov

17

18

19

20

21

22

23

24

25

26

27

28

29

30

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

8

9

10

11

12

13

14

15

16

17

18

19

20

21

22

23

24

25

26

27

28

Dec

SAVE THE DATE

29

30

31

16th Annual Chowderfest February 1, 2014

www.Mamatoga.com

| 23

Adventures in Co-Parenting

By Julie Cox and Katie Nemer

T

he holidays. That wonderful, busy, bustling, hustling, sparkly time of year is upon us yet again. And in case that small fact has escaped you because, let’s face it, you’ve been a little busy these past few months, you will quickly be reminded of a few things. The blaring holiday displays, Rockettes high-kicking across your TV, and perhaps, the appearance of a lengthy and detailed crayon-scrawled wishlist on your pillow. Sometimes, it can be a difficult undertaking for us parents to balance the glitz, glamour, and gift-giving-mania of the holidays with things like spending time with family and honoring important traditions.

Julie: One year, my husband and I had worked tirelessly planning every magnificent detail of a family vacation to Disneyworld, which would be presented to the boys on Christmas Eve. We booked the trip for the last day of school in June and secured the condo, the reservations, and the tickets. And the piece de resistance: the presentation.

We bought a Disney calendar and wrote the dates of the trip on the calendar for the boys to find after opening it up. We could already envision the Youtube-worthy clip of our boys feverishly jumping up and down, declaring us the best parents in the world, and affixing Mickey Mouse ears to their blond heads in a state of glorious bliss. Brilliant!

Alas, they were less than impressed with the meticulouslyplanned and eagerly-awaited presentation. That’s not to say that they weren’t eventually ecstatic about their trip to

24 | MAMATOGA Holiday

Disneyworld, but the concept was perhaps a bit too vague for a 2- and a 10-year old. My sisters still have a good laugh about my epic mommy-fail, and will watch the video only to freeze-frame on the kids’ confused and indifferent faces, both so eager to move on to their next present. I recall hearing Jackson on the phone with his mom afterwards when she had clearly asked him something along the lines of, “What kinds of gifts did you get at dad’s house?” He proceeded to tell her, in great detail, all about his very favorite gift of the night: his brand new Angry Birds t-shirt. Awesome.

Katie: I remember back when my husband Josh and I were dating and were planning to celebrate our first holiday together: Hanukkah. I had actually never experienced Hanukkah before, as I grew up in a Catholic family. I was excited to learn about the traditions, commonly shared meals, and family gatherings that went along with the joyous occasion.

I told Josh that although I was well aware that traditionally throughout the Hanukkah season eight gifts were given, one for each day, he most certainly did not have to get Jackson eight presents. We could make latkes, light candles, and read a few books that would teach him about the holiday.

However, Josh and his family were so thrilled to introduce Jackson to Hanukkah, that they insisted that all eight days of gifts were included. And so, we made plans to live out the true Hanukkah experience. Once little Jackson, being

the fast-learning, excitable youth he has always been, was informed that Hanukkah consisted of not just one, but eight magnificently sweet days, he was definitely on board.

As the holiday approached, during what was an otherwise ordinary week, Jackson’s afterschool enthusiasm level was on hyper drive. Homework and bath time, which until this point had required a fair share of motherly nagging, suddenly transformed into simple, promptly tended-to rituals. Josh would come home from work each night to find a freshly-scrubbed, pajama-clad, bright-eyed Jackson anxiously awaiting him at the table, candles in one hand, menorah in the other. We tried to keep the focus on the important traditions and understanding the religious beliefs, but kids will be kids, and let’s face it, Hanukkah was eight times longer than any other holiday he had known thus far.

It was exciting.

So now, every year as the weather turns colder, I get a few pretty standard questions from Jackson. What’s for dinner, what are we doing Friday night, and oh yeah, when’s Hanukkah?

Our conclusion: As all parents know, it can be difficult to temper the sheer amount of gift-giving that happens during the holidays. We don’t want our kids to turn into gift-grubbing gremlins, but even the most placid of children can be overwhelmed with delight when seeing their name scratched onto a gift tag. Societal commentary aside, (seriously, holiday commercials in September?) the holidays can inspire our children to constantly think about what they want, and when it comes down to it, doesn’t it do the same for us? What we want is for our kids to be happy. We want them to be grateful. We want them to have happy and cherished memories of their family traditions and holidays growing up.

And in the midst of all this wanting and wishing and searching for the perfect gift we think will knock their little reindeer socks off, we must come to terms with the fact that it may get quickly lost underneath a pile of Frosty paper and

peppermint bark, especially if this is the eleventy-billionth gift they have just torn into. And that’s ok. Because without a doubt, that trip to Disney, or that Hogwarts Lego set, or that super-duper-fantastic Angry Birds t-shirt will have its moment when it makes its way to the top of the pile, even if that’s not until February. And if it doesn’t, oh well. You have our permission to just go return it and get something nice for yourself. Or to go ahead and tell your kids that it’s Hanukkah a bit early, just to get the bath and homework done without a fight. Don’t worry, your secrets are safe with us.

If you enjoyed reading about our Adventures in Co-Parenting and want to see more, you can follow us on Facebook or check out our website at adventuresincoparenting.com! M

DURABLE

& STYLISH

PERSONALIZED WATERPROOF LABELS 2013 Parent Tested Parent Approved Award Winner

NameBubbles.com

www.Mamatoga.com

| 25

Secondary Infertility a discussion

I

nfertility is a much talked about topic in women’s lives today, but often women (and men) suffer Secondary Infertility in silence. We spoke with Dympna Weil, MD, FACOG from Myrtle Street Obstetrics and Gynecology about Secondary Infertility and what treatments couples can seek.

What is the definition of Secondary Infertility?

Infertility is a couple’s inability to become pregnant after 12 months of well-timed intercourse when the female partner is less than 35 years of age; if the female partner is 35 years old or older, then it is defined at 6 months time. Secondary infertility refers to the inability to become pregnant or to carry to term after already having had one or more biological children with the current or previous partner(s). Secondary infertility is relatively common, yet not often talked about, accounting for nearly half of all infertility cases. Between 10 -15% women in the U.S. have secondary infertility.

What are some possible causes for Secondary Infertility?

Approximately one third of infertility relates to female conditions, another third relates to male factor conditions, and the final third is comprised of combined male/female factors, as well as unexplained infertility. Male factor most often involves the health and quantity of sperm.

Female factors are more numerous and can relate to any of the following: maternal age, ovulation, structural issues/ blockages with the uterus or fallopian tubes, other hormonal disruptions (ie: thyroid disease, diabetes, PCOS, pituitary tumors, obesity), or diseases like endometriosis.

26 | MAMATOGA Holiday

What are some possible treatments for Secondary Infertility?

The treatment options depend specifically on the identified cause. For many disorders of ovulation, there are medications that can help ovarian function. If it is a matter of low sperm count or sperm function, intrauterine inseminations can help overcome infertility. Correcting underlying conditions like diabetes or thyroid disorders can also aid in fertility efforts.

In certain cases, more specialized treatment options may be suggested (such as IVF, in-vitro-fertilization) after further consultation with an Infertility subspecialist.

When should a woman (or a couple) seek treatment for Secondary Infertility?

Couples should seek evaluation for secondary infertility if they have not yet conceived after they have been trying for 12 months (when the female partner is less than 35yo) or trying for 6 months (when the female partner is 35yo or older). For women over 30 years of age who have a history of painful periods, multiple miscarriages, irregular periods, a history of pelvic inflammatory disease, or whose partner has a low sperm count should consider evaluation after 6 months of trying to conceive.

What are some of the emotional stressors that can go along with Secondary Infertility and what are some recommendations for dealing with them?

Women (and men) often experience the pain of secondary infertility in silence because they may fear criticism from friends or family who can dismiss the couple as they may already have one or more children, but long for more. As

a result, the couple may feel like they need to “just keep trying”, which can lead to frustration and if they do not seek evaluation, loss of time. The gamut of emotions can be unearthed: sadness, grief, anger, depression, isolation, guilt, jealousy, self-blame, and powerlessness. While most conditions affect an individual, infertility affects a couple, their relationship, and their existing family. Couples can find it hard to devote time and energy to each other, their existing child, and their pursuit of future family. Reconciling these conflicting feelings, supporting each other and dealing with the potential stress of infertility evaluations and treatments can certainly strain an individual and a partnership. It is important to know that support groups are available and a critical part of helping couples through this emotional time. Methods of stress relief such as exercise, meditation, yoga, and acupuncture can all be helpful.

If a woman or couple thinks they might be experiencing Secondary Infertility, what are the steps they should take?

The most important first step to take is to speak with your OB-GYN. A consultation to review any changes in your medical history since the birth of your first child can be very telling and allow you and your physician to begin the initial infertility evaluation. Certain tests may help find the cause of the infertility and if a problem is found, your OB-GYN can help you take the next steps to treat it. Specific conditions or circumstances may best be served by an Infertility specialist, or in the case of male factor infertility, an Urologist. Your OB-GYN will refer you to these specialists when necessary.

Couples need not suffer in silence. M

Myrtle Street Obstetrics & Gynecology

Preconception & Infertility Counseling • High Risk Pregnancy Care • In-Office Ultrasound & Laboratory In-Office Endometrial Ablation • Urodynamic Testing • Treatment for Incontinence • Cancer Screening Services

Charles Lasky, MD Carolyn Slatch, MD Katja Bock, MD Dympna Weil, MD Terri Jones-Kingman, NP

Amy Knoeller, MD Amos Cutler, MD Eliot Birnbaum, MD Kelly Goldenberg, CNM Ruthann Aurentz, NP

Comprehensive care women deserve from caregivers women trust 59 Myrtle Street, Suite 100 2105 Ellsworth Boulevard Saratoga Springs, NY Malta, NY 12020 12866 518.587.2400 • www.myrtlestobgyn.com

www.Mamatoga.com

| 27

42 phila stre 2866 1 , y n s g in r p s a s4a2rpahtiloag street 3p3r7ings ny, 12866 4 7 0 9 8 s 1 a 5 g o t a sar .com p51a8r-9k0s7id-4e3e37atery

om

.c y r e t a e e id s k r a p

food for all food for all

all for food all for soupsfood soupsbbq regional fineregional dinners bbq & Sides fine dinners & Sides desserts desserts

Holiday Menus, Holiday Menus, Perfectly Seasoned Perfectly Seasoned

518.581.7450 | blackdiamondcaterers.com

Mamatoga HOLIDAY

shop • eat • give

GUIDE

boho MOM

P R M EO PM

SPORTY MOM

the details...

Adjustable arrow ring in brass www.catbirdnyc.com

BC Footwear Cool Cucumber Heels www.urbanoutfitters.com

Scotch nail polish at The Bundle Store www.thebundlestore. gostorego.com kai at Sanctuary Spa www.sanctuarysaratoga.com Lulu Frost for J. Crew shoe clips www.jcrew.com Lolo bags at Silverwood Home and Gallery www.silverwoodgalleries.com Bib Necklace Sweatshirt www.jcrew.com Tory Burch fragrance www.toryburch.com Finish Line Door Mat www.perpetualkid.com Bumbleride 2013 Indie Stroller www.amazon.com Breville Juice Fountain Compact www.amazon.com Run With Me Mittens www.lululemon.com French macarons from TC Paris Bakery 72 Henry Street Saratoga Springs www.tcbakery.com Fee Brothers Cocktail Bitters www.amazon.com Mast Brothers Chocolate at Healthy Living Market and CafĂŠ www.healthylivingmarket.com/saratoga/ Big Chill refrigerator at Adirondack Appliance www.adkappliance.com 34 | MAMATOGA Holiday

LOCAL TREATS take the craziness out of the holiday party planning with a little delicious help Healthy Living Market & Cafe Their pies will make your Thanksgiving or holiday party even more delicious. Their crusts are homemade, perfect, buttery pastry and their fillings come from recipes they’ve tasted and love, made with ingredients that are clean and fresh. Last day for pie orders is Monday, November 25th. Choose from Silky & Spicy Pumpkin Pie, Toasty Pecan Pie, Zesty Cranberry Tart, Maple & Cream Pie and more.

The Saratoga Farmers’ Market Inside the Lincoln Baths building for the colder months at Saratoga Spa State Park at 65 South Broadway in Saratoga Springs on Saturdays from 9am-1pm. They provide yearround access to farm-fresh products from 40+ vendors and a pleasant community gathering spot that is fun and kid friendly.

Park Side Eatery On Phila Street in Saratoga Springs has you covered whether you want just a few dishes or the whole shebang catered and ready to eat. You can feel comfortable knowing that their plattered and ready to serve foods are an affordable, timesaving solution to the holiday stress so you can just relax and enjoy.

The Spa City Farmers’ Market Also inside the Lincoln Baths in Saratoga Springs every Sunday from 10am till 3pm. They have you covered from Organic and Naturally Grown Veggies to non-GMO Moon Shine. All local, family owned and fantastic.

www.Mamatoga.com

| 35

DONATE A S

HELP

FAMILY

Email the Franklin Community Center at info@ franklincommunitycenter.org or call 587-9826 to ‘adopt’ a family for the holidays. Each donor will be provided with a wish list from local children, including specific sizes and gift ideas. Donations for their holiday assistance program should be arranged with Kristen. You can reach her at kristen@franklincommunitycenter.org.

A

‘Adopt’ a Family

Toy Drive

Host a toy drive for Franklin Community Center. For those families and children who were not ‘adpoted’, FCC prepares gifts from donations of new toys and clothing or gift cards from generous donors. Donations for their holiday assistance program can be arranged with Kristen, you can reach her at kristen@franklincommunitycenter.org.

S UP

Donate non-perishable items to the Wilton Food Pantry during their designated drop off hours: Wednesdays 4:00pm-5:30pm through Saturdays 9:00am-10:30am

Empty Stocking Project

Saratoga County Children’s Committee’s Empty Stocking Project provides holiday gifts and necessities to over 1,000 children in Saratoga County. Gifts are collected, checked and any last minute shopping is done before they are given to the referring agency.

Call them at 518-484-1236 if you are interested in sponsoring a child or contributing to the project. They also welcome cash donations towards this vital mission.

V I

A C B K E

Have fun and donate to a great cause on December 12th at Druthers in Saratoga Springs with The Sip Event as they host a “Toys for Tots” Christmas toy drive. Druthers will be providing complimentary appetizers as part of the purchase of a ticket.

Tickets are $30 with a toy donation. Toys and proceeds benefit the Toys for Tots program.

Call 518-961-6329 for more info.

PO R T

Toys for Tots

Wilton Food Pantry

G

When you support locally owned Saratoga Springs area businesses, you help them support our community.

(Now that’s the holiday spirit.)

The Saratoga area is a magical place to live and work, with so many great shops, terrific restaurants, and all the services you need. When you support locally owned and operated businesses, you’re helping them contribute to our community life.

Thanks to local businesses, which help to sponsor special events like the Victorian Streetwalk, First Night, Chowderfest, and the Saratoga Arts Festival, there is so much more to do in our community. Remember that your locally owned service, retail, restaurant, and professional firms donate to hundreds of local charities, helping to improve the quality of life throughout our community.

www.adirondacktrust.com

This holiday season, be part of the holiday spirit.

Please support your locally owned and operated businesses.

Member FDIC Š 2013 The Adirondack Trust Company

WISH LIST

By Robin Dalton

B

efore I had children, the holiday gifting season was my Super Bowl. I meticulously choose each present (I even had a year by year spreadsheet to avoid repeats) and on December 26th I’d pat myself on the back for a job well done. But it all came to a screeching halt after I became a parent. Now with three young children, between birthdays and the holidays I’d say I’m averaging a 20% success rate. There is rarely a rhyme or reason to what my kids like and yes, they always end up playing with the box. However in crafting this gift guide for Mamatoga, I’ve waded through all my mistakes to come up with suggestions for your kids. The best part is, everything here can be found locally.

So throw on your hat and gloves and get shopping.

www.Mamatoga.com

| 39

40 | MAMATOGA Holiday

www.Mamatoga.com

| 41

Find them all local Print from Your Toy Portrait

Hex Bugs

Hold Onto Your Hats Masks

Armadillo Dreams natural wood toys

www.etsy.com/shop/JenHaley www.yourtoyportrait.com

available at G. Willikers Toys 461 Broadway, Saratoga Springs

www.etsy.com/shop/holdontoyourhats

Babylit Board Books

available at Northshire Bookstore 424 Broadway, Saratoga Springs

available at The Bundle Store 35 Milton Ave, Ballston Spa

Bilibo

available at G. Willikers Toys 461 Broadway, Saratoga Springs

Joules Rain Boots for kids

available at Saratoga Saddlery 460 Broadway, Saratoga Springs

Lollacup

Lilly Pulitzer dresses for mom & baby

available at The Bundle Store 35 Milton Ave, Ballston Spa

available at Pink Paddock 358 Broadway, Saratoga Springs

Holiday Gift Certificate Special Purchase a Gift Certificate of $100 or more and get a free pair of Grippy socks! Many styles to choose from! Now - December 31st. One per person. Valid for purchases made in person, or bring in your receipt from your online purchase to redeem your free socks.

42 | MAMATOGA Holiday

Try our introduction offer and see for yourself.

For information, please call: 518-871-1315 or email: info@reformyourbody.com

r e or m A T R U E P I L AT E S

Pilates makes your clothes fit better!

STUDIO

reformyourbody.com 18 Division Street. Suite 203, Saratoga Springs, NY

put some

SPARKLE

in the season

pieces from Piper Boutique 441 Broadway, Saratoga Springs

LET’S DO THIS R

esolution time is going to be here before you know it. That time when you set aside the excesses of the holidays and buckle down to get back on track.

Sometimes the promise of a fresh new year can motivate you to start some fresh new healthy habits as well, and sometimes not. Here Angela Amedio from Saratoga Cycling Studio talks resolutions with us: What Works and What Doesn’t.

Angela Amedio: First, if you are looking to start a “Resolution Style” fitness routine, let me offer my congratulations on starting a healthy new year! What has worked for me and my clients at the Spinning studio is to take baby steps and not the “all or nothing” route. Changing your activity level and diet in a drastic way is not only difficult to maintain, but can make you feel defeated if you are not 100% diligent. Set small, attainable goals that will make you feel successful instead. For the first week, try drinking more water and getting active a couple of times. Once that is manageable, try adding more greens to your diet and maybe trying out a fitness class or hiring a personal trainer to help you along. Weeks into your progression, you will be eating more healthfully and hopefully seeing some changes in how you look and feel.

44 | MAMATOGA Holiday

Starting out a new regime as a resolution has some advantages and some disadvantages. Advantages - you can usually score a great price on a gym membership, personal trainer, or a few classes at a fitness studio. We all compete with one another to get your business and that means big savings for you!

Remember, you are not the only one starting from square one. No matter where you choose to work out, you will see lots of folks in the same boat. They might not know how to use the equipment and may have the “deer in the headlights” look, just like you! At my Spinning studio, we usually offer a free begin to spin class once per month, but in January, we offer it every week to help start off your resolution right.

Staying accountable is big. If you start on 1/1, you know how many days you have eaten a little better and been a little more active.

The disadvantages? The gyms will be packed! You may have to wait in line for equipment, a trainer, or even to use the locker room. The good news is that in a few weeks, that will start to slow down and you can begin a more consistent routine. Conversely, if you start on 1/1 and haven’t gotten the motivation to get out of bed and get moving, those days

can add up quickly, persuading you to give up and wait to try again next year. You waited this long to start, don’t put it off even more!

Don’t sweat it if you are a beginner. A lot of businesses in Saratoga offer a free consultation (like at my personal trainers’ studio - the Fitness Artist) or a free class (like at my Spinning studio), so that is a great way to get moving. Research the facility, trainers, and instructor’s credentials to make sure you are going to be safe, injury free, and able to reach your goals.

Another tip, bring your friend, spouse, roommate, coworker, kid to get moving with you! You won’t back out if someone is counting on you being there.

We have newbies in every class and our instructors are trained to cater to new people. We greet you at the door, learn your name, get you set up on a bike, and offer a brief explanation of what to expect in class. Spinning is great for folks staring a resolution because we encourage going at your own pace and intensity. There is no competition in the room - plus, we keep it pretty dark in there, so no one will see you sweat! We have a very high retention rate from our “Begin to Spin” class if folks sign up for another class within a few days. If they wait a week or so, we may never see them again. To stick with it, you have to be proud of anything you accomplish in a class. You may not be able to keep up with everyone YET, but in time, you will! Celebrate your little victories!

outside, invest in a stopwatch or a heart rate monitor so you can actually see that your workouts are getting more intense.

The moment you think your workout feels “easy”, it is time to switch up your routine!

If you are waiting until you lose a few pounds to get started, don’t. I have heard so many people say that they can’t join a gym or try out a class until they lose weight - which totally defeats the purpose! Many fitness facilities offer a “judgement free zone”, so find a place that makes you feel comfortable and just get started. M Visit Saratoga Cycling Studio online at: www.saratogacyclingstudio.com

“No matter how slow you go, you are still lapping everyone on the couch!”

There are some tips on making a realistic fitness and nutrition plan and sticking to it. Like Tim Gunn says, “make it work!” We are so fortunate to have so many wonderful places to workout in Saratoga Springs. Try an internet search for fitness studios, personal trainers, or a gym where there are certified fitness professionals that can help you.

For an inactive person, try getting some activity in twice a week to start for a few weeks. When that is manageable, try working up to three to four times per week and increasing the intensity. If you choose to workout from home or

www.Mamatoga.com

| 45

Voting for the area’s original Family Choice Awards starts IN December.

Have kids. Have style. Have fun. www.mamatoga.com

2014

MAMATOGA Family Choice Awards Winner

Visit www.Mamatoga.com to vote for your local favorites.

“One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day.

Don’t clean it up too quickly.”

– Andy Rooney

MEAN GIRLS IN MOMMYLAND

By Jenny Witte

T

he other day at a playground around town I inadvertently eavesdropped on a conversation going on between two moms. “Look at her,” the one mom was saying to the other mom. “She lost so much weight she looks anorexic”. The other mom scoffed, narrowing her eyes at the mom in question, “Definitely”. The mom in question was pretty trim, but she looked great, and was happily pushing her little one on a swing, totally unaware of the critique going on about her body just a few feet away.

This conversation goes on at playgrounds everywhere. Insert “gained so much” and “obese” instead of “lost so much” and “anorexic”, or insert some snarky remark about her hair, or her bag, or her shoes, or her choice of lifestyle. What made me sad, besides the fact that these two women were making unnecessary and potentially hurtful comments about another woman’s body, was that it reminded me of all the horribleness of high school, or, even worse, middle school. Didn’t we, shouldn’t we, have all learned how hurtful that type of stuff is long ago? Why do we continue to make mommyhood the new middle school cafeteria, except instead of braces it’s baby weight, and we still make fun of what each other is wearing.

I get it though. People, especially women, can be motivated by insecurities. The thing is, we all have them. Whether you are insecure about your weight, your height, your hair color/ job/parenting technique/c-section/breastfeeding choice/ whatever it is chances are the mom next to you at the playground has her own fair share of insecurities. Chances

48 | MAMATOGA Holiday

are even better that maybe she just had one of those days.

You know the days, the day you forgot it was “crazy hat” day at school and just realized your child will be sitting there forlorn, crazy hat-less. Maybe you were out of juice boxes, hell, maybe you even forgot to pack lunch (done that), maybe the laundry pile has now formed mean little sock eyes and is threatening to overtake your entire room, maybe you forgot to buy toilet paper and needed to convince a potty training toddler that paper towels are the same thing, for an hour. Maybe that mom next to you is taking care of an elderly parent, maybe that mom next to you just had to put the family dog down, maybe that mom next to you is just having a plain old crappy day. But even more, maybe that mom next to you is going through some post-partum depression stuff, maybe she’s going through a divorce, maybe she’s a single mom and she would gladly exchange a pile of gold for one day of solid sleep and relaxation if she could.

The point is, whatever that mom’s experience is-you don’t know it, so don’t judge it. Your words, whether you realize it or not, can hurt. They can also help buoy someone up, so choose them carefully, or don’t share them at all.

We all love to jump on another mom’s story. The Tiger Mom, the Bringing Up Bebe mom, Michelle Duggar, Michelle Obama, Blossom and her attachment parenting. We all love to pass judgment. Oh, so and so doesn’t breastfeed?! How horrible! So and so breastfeeds her three year old?! How disgusting! Why? Why tear down another woman’s choices, another mother’s choices, when you have the opportunity to

support? We do it to deflect away from our own inadequacies. (you with the cute owl cloth diapered little one wearing the It makes us feel better to say, “Well, at least I’m not as bad baby leggings) happily handed a bunch over and it made me as her“. The truth is though, as a mom, we are all going to smile instantly. She helped, she wanted to help, the way we fail at some point. We are all going to have the big Mom should all want to. The happy exchange of this mom currency fail stamp right on our foreheads for all to see. Whether was how it should be. We are all in this boat together, we are it’s when your two year old melts down in the middle of all learning as we go along, so share the wipes, moms, and Target or your teenager tells you he hates you and wants to skip the judgment. M move out, it’s going to happen, so prepare yourself for that.

They don’t call it the hardest job in the world for nothing. It’s tough, most Certified Bikram Yoga, Barkan Flow, Yin Yoga, things that are worth the effort are. No Warm/Hot Vinyasa, Yoga Sculpt & Kids Yoga one is keeping score, and this isn’t a competition that one of us will win. So www.hotyogasaratoga.com please, moms, let’s not make it tough on each other. Enough. Enough with the judging. Enough with the snarky coments, enough with all of it.

This is my third go at the whole parenting thing. Am I an expert? Far from it. Do I have experience? An awful lot of it. That doesn’t mean I know what I’m doing most of the time either. The other day I was at the Great Cloth Diaper Change and I opened up Jack’s bumGenius to find out it was a poop diaper, and, guess what? I had zero wipes. At an event that was all about changing diapers. And I write a parenting website. I laughed at the fact that yes, I forgot to bring an essential item, at an essential time, and the woman holding the event was literally counting down the seconds till I was supposed to be changing the diaper. I also laughed at the fact that I was a hot mess since it was about 80 degrees in that SportsPlex and you could most likely see the one nursing bra I like (leopard print no less) through the huge accidentally unbuttoned gap in my top. Then I asked a mom near me if she had wipes. She said no. And it wasn’t a nice no. But the other mom

INTRODUCTORY RATE: 10 CONSECUTIVE DAYS OF UNLIMITED YOGA FOR ONLY $30 (VALID AT ALL LOCATIONS)

75 Woodlawn Avenue Saratoga Springs, NY 12866 Studio A (hot) / Studio B (warm) 518-587-9642 (YOGA) 7C Johnson Road Latham, NY 12110 518-608-5170

441 Broadway Saratoga Springs

save 20% off one item with this ad

www.Mamatoga.com

| 49

Celebrate kindness this season by participating in the #26Acts movement. Last year, people everywhere got into the spirit by committing random acts of kindness. It’s easy to do, it makes you feel good, it makes other people feel good, and it’s an awesome trend to get the kids involved in. Here are 26 ideas for your very own #26Acts. Pass it on…

Leave a bouquet at the hospital — the nurses will know who needs it the most.

Drop off combs, toothbrushes, and toothpaste at a shelter (like Shelters of Saratoga, find out what their most needed items are and drop off times at www.sheltersofsaratoga.com)

Forgive someone. Repeat as necessary.

Volunteer with the family to serve dinner at the Saratoga Senior Center. Call them at (518) 584-1621 to set up a time.

Leave small gifts for strangers in random places.

Bring in a neighbor’s garbage bins.

Offer to babysit for free. We all know a couple or a single parent who could really use a short break.

Bring a special treat in for everyone in your office.

Pay for the coffee or the toll for the person behind you.

Send a care package to a soldier.

Know someone who just had a baby? Bring a meal, offer to clean up their house or do a load of laundry for them.

50 | MAMATOGA Holiday

When you receive good service, tell the person’s manager or boss.

Notice a kid being well-behaved? Tell their parents how good they are while the child is standing there. It will encourage them to continue being good, and will make the parents feel awesome.

Write a letter to a child who could use some extra attention. Kids love getting mail.

Smile! And say hello to 5 strangers.

Instead of just thinking it, compliment someone Out of the blue, send flowers to a friend.

Pass along a great book you’ve just finished reading.

Need more ideas? Visit page 36 for some ideas on how to make a positive impact locally this holiday season.

Put $10 on a random gas pump.

Have your kids make a thank you card for their teacher, their coach, a firefighter, their mentor or someone who has influenced them in a positive way.

Encourage kids to sit with someone new, or someone who looks like they might need a friend, at lunch.

Donate pet food to an animal shelter.

Shower the pediatric wing of a hospital with coloring books and boxes of new crayons.

Leave enough money in the vending machine for the next person to get a free treat.

Imagine, Explore, Discover!

The Beagle School is a preschool for 2, 3, and 4 year olds, located in Saratoga Springs, NY.

Interested in joining us in 2014?

Open House Dates January 27-28 Please call 587-7507 for more details. www.beagleschool.com

Buy a roll of brightly colored stickers and give them out to kids you meet during the day.

www.Mamatoga.com

| 51

Make These Scan to view recipe on your smartphone or tablet.

Gingerbread Jockeys by Deanna Fox Makes About 75 Cookies

ingredients

1 1/2 cup dark molasses 1 cup packed brown sugar 2/3 cup cold water 1/3 cup shortening 7 cups all-purpose flour 2 teaspoons baking soda 2 teaspoons ground ginger 1 teaspoon salt 1 teaspoon ground allspice 1 teaspoon ground cloves 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon Zest from one orange

method

Mix together the molasses, brown sugar, water and shortening. In a separate bowl, combine the remaining ingredients and mix well. Slowly add to the molasses mixture and mix until just combined.

Turn dough onto plastic wrap and cover tightly. Refrigerate for at least an hour or up to one day.

Preheat the over to 350 degrees Fahrenheit.

Divide the dough into fourths. Working with one fourth at a time, roll out dough to 1/4� thick on a well floured surface, being sure to continue to flour the surface and rolling pin and rotate the dough to keep it from sticking. Dip cookie cutters into flour, then press into dough (dough scraps can be pressed together and rerolled). Place cookies about two inches apart on a lightly greased cookies sheet.

Bake until no indentations remain when pressed lightly with a finger, about 10-12 minutes. Let cool slightly on the sheet and then transfer to a cooling rack. Decorate as desired.

www.Mamatoga.com

| 53

peace & joy Love, Jenny, Sean, Finn, Lev & Jack

YOUR HOLIDAY SHOPPING

STARTS AND ENDS

AT WILTON MALL

GREAT STORES, DEALS & FUN EVENTS = HAPPY HOLIDAYS! Shop all your favorite holiday gift ideas at Wilton Mall this holiday season at stores such as Victoria’s Secret, Forever 21, Crazy 8, Old Navy and over 90 other specialty shops. Be sure to stop into Healthy Living Market & Cafe and check out a movie at the brand-new Bow Tie Cinemas! Fun events, happy shopping and great entertainment!

JCPENNEY, DICK’S SPORTING GOODS, SEARS, BON TON, BOW TIE CINEMAS AND MORE THAN 90 SPECIALTY STORES & RESTAURANTS 3065 Route 50, Saratoga Springs 518-583-2138 | WiltonMall.com