THIS ISSUE SECOND QUARTER
You are well on your way into the first half of the year. Time has been spent on celebrations, obligations, and anticipations. Do these things ever go away? Perhaps not, so we have a few things to help you along the way. In this issue of Love, Marriage & Partnership – The Review, be inspired to refine your focus on your goals, or endeavor to launch a new project. Here’s a list of features to be highlighted for April and May, and set the expectation of things to come. COUPLES IN PARTNERSHIP: This feature is the heart of the publication, so become acquainted with phenomenal couples from all over that are building businesses and serving their communities through a loving partnership. TEACHER APPRECIATION: Hopefully, you didn’t get caught off guard when it came to sending a token of appreciation to the awesome teacher(s) in your life. Get great insight and tips for gift ideas that will suggest the upmost gratitude.
Love, Marriage & Partnership - The Review is a monthly publication sponsored by M & M R Marketing, LLC that focuses on married couples that are in partnership with each other through service and/or business to their communities and abroad. The goal of the Love, Marriage & Partnership – the Review is to inspire readers to look at the essence of partnership in marriage as shared by exemplary couples, ultimately moving readers to actively define, develop, and devote to their purpose as a couple.
APRIL - MAY
2016
DATE NIGHT IDEAS: Do more than flirt with the idea of Date Nights, make a commitment. These sweet notions will spark dedication for that much desired QT whether you’re single, just having fun, or in a committed relationship. 21 DAYS FOR A HEALTHY HABIT: Getting to a state of better health is more than just a physical journey. Your mindset for a healthier lifestyle must also go along for the ride. As a matter of fact, join TeamNakedFine for an awesome 21 Day journey to developing healthier habits.
WHAT’S TO COME
•
HOUSE HUNTING & PROPERTY TIPS
PIECES OF A BEAUTIFUL JOURNEY: Find inspiration in a success story of love and determination as a mother shares her experience with overcoming abuse, depression, and many other battles who’s now helping others by sharing a piece of herself through love.
• CELEBRATION OF ENGAGEMENTS, WEDDINGS & ANNIVERSARIES •
EATERIES & SCENERIES
HOW TO CHANGE MY MATE: If you’re in any type of relationship, you’ve probably noticed a habit or two of your significant other that you would desperately like to change. We may actually have a solution to your plight with these Seven Ways to see a Change in Your Mate.
•
OUTDOOR ADVENTURES AND DELICATE INTERIORS
• •
ARTS & CULTURE WHAT’S IN YOUR KITCHEN
•
SO MUCH MORE…
MeetBURNSIDE MR & MRS CARL & RACHEL
“His Point, Her View” is a Christian couple’s literary collaboration. Read through personal, spiritual, and even controversial posts that will motivate, challenge, and unite couples and singles alike. Throughout this journey this Husband and Wife will discuss everything from gender roles and intimacy to faith and marriage adaptation. Finding your purpose- mate is just the beginning, we intend to chronicle that and much, MUCH more! SUBSCRIBE TODAY at:
www.hispointherview.us
DATE NIGHT IDEAS By: Mr & MRS ROACH
Dismiss every misconception that you have about Date Nights, be open-minded, and expect to have fun! Who says that Date Nights have to be anything other than what you want them to be? No one- it’s up to you how creative you want your predetermined moment of eminence to be! It is also important to note that Date Night is for anyone: dating, married, engaged, and yes, SINGLE.
DON’TS
DO’S
IDEAS of the MONTH • • • • • •
• •
Agree to set this time aside together. Determine frequency and be consis tent (once a month or every week). Decide who gets to choose the date (deciding together is best). Anticipate it. Be THERE while you’re on the date. Have FUN.
Avoid making independent plans and expect the other to be as excited as you are. Steer clear of allowing your Date Night to take the back seat of things that appear to be more pressing.
PLAN A DISPOSABLE CAMERA DAY - Instead of Instagramming, give the smart phone a break and purchase a disposable camera. It’s the perfect way to unplug while still capturing fun and memorable moments. The ambitious and craft-savvy among us can even turn the pics into a scrapbook to give as a holiday or anniversary present. LEARN A NEW DANCE – Many dance studios, fitness centers, and even gyms offer tons of dance options, from salsa lessons and line dancing to fitnessinspired options like Bokwa, a Zumba spin off. HOST A FOREIGN MOVIE NIGHT (with a twist) - Pop in an international film but skip the subtitles. Instead, try guessing what’s going on just by watching the plot unfold (bonus points for narration). Maybe that high school French class will come in handy? ATTEND A BOOK READING – Local bars and coffee shops host readings that showcase novels, short stories, biographies, and poetry. Upcoming works may even feature the author in a lecture or Q&A afterwards. Bonus points if you stumble upon a work of literary fiction—research shows that reading them can actually help improve social skills.
M R
A N D
MARK
& CHENICA
M R S . . . . . .
GRANT WHO ARE YOU AS A COUPLE? We are Mr. & Mrs. Grant. We love GOD, We love each other and we love our family/friends. WHAT THINGS DO YOU ADMIRE ABOUT YOUR SPOUSE? Mr Grant: I admire the love, fire, and the drive that Chenica has for God first, family, and friends. I really admire how she can walk into any room and be that beacon of light that everyone is drawn to.
met in December 2008. They met through family and friends and it was an instant connection. The night began with dancing the night away to some good old school hip hop and R&B. The two stayed in contact and a wonderful friendship began to bloom into a beautiful relationship. Being from very similar backgrounds as preachers grand kids and being raised by two strong single mothers, they connected both spiritually and mentally. Mark and Chenica were married November 3, 2011 in Galveston, TX at the beautiful Tremont Hotel. This day will forever be the day that GOD “SEALED US AS ONE”! Mark and Chenica have 3 beautiful children: Marcus (18), Keaira (13), and Kyra (8). Together they founded #BoutThatMarriedLife group for married and engaged couples. The group focuses on Empowering, Inspiring and Encouraging other couples. “We believe with GOD ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE! As long as GOD is our center, there is nothing that we can’t handle together!”
Mrs Grant: I admire everything about Mark! Where do I start? I admire that he is a God fearing man most. I admire that he treats me like a queen and loves me and our family completely!
The REVIEW HOW DO YOU PREPARE YOURSELF TO FUNCTION AS YOUR BEST SELF IN YOUR ROLE AS A SPOUSE? Chenica: PRAYER!! Lots of Prayer! I try to learn from past mistakes so I do not repeat them. Mark: Try to approach every situation with a level head open minded!
WHO IS THE MR.& MRS. THAT MOST PEOPLE DON’T GET TO SEE? We are a “what you see is what you get couple”! We live our lives on purpose. The same love that we show privately, you will see publicly! WHAT IS A QUOTE OR SCRIPTURE THAT YOU BOTH US AS YOU FUNCTION IN PARTNERSHIP. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does nor delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protect, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”
HOW DO YOU UTILIZE YOUR DIFFERENCES INDIVIDUALLY AS ASSETS TO YOU AS A COUPLE? We balance each other out. She is more outgoing and energetic and he is more laid back and reserved. WHAT DOES PARTNERSHIP IN A MARRIAGE MEAN TO YOU? Partnership in a marriage (to us) is Teamwork!! Being able to agree and disagree and still be on the same page together working towards our common goal. AS PARTNERS IN MARRIAGE WHAT IS YOUR ULTIMATE GOAL? WHY? WHAT ARE YOU WILLING TO SACRIFICE TO OBTAIN IT? -Ultimate Goal. Happiness. Pure and simple. -Why? We both have been married before and we realized the mistakes we have made and we are determined not to relive our pasts and make the same mistakes. -What are you willing to sacrifice to obtain it? Egos and anything that hinders our happiness or stands in the way or our marriage!
WWW.UNVEILEDASPIRATIONS.COM
MARK GRANT CHENICA GRANT
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WE LOVE
DO YOU?
www.coffeeconnoisseurclub.com
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Pieces
ME of
MOM
Shareta
Lover FRIEND LEWIS
,RN
“Ma! Ma! Ma get up, get up!!!!!!” Is what I heard in the distance. I knew I was alive, but I couldn’t move. I could hear, see, smell. All my tired body could do was produce tears that flowed like a river. Should we call grandma, or the ambulance? These were the questions coming from my frightened teenagers as they watched their mom, their Shero, lay motionless on the carpet of our dark apartment. My mind, body, and soul were tired. I went to work that day as I did each day. Sometimes, well most times working two shifts, 7 days a week, with the worst headache I’ve ever experienced in my life! Doing these duties to make ends meet, put food on the table, and to have a roof over our heads. It had been 6.5 months since my separation and I was tired. When we hear the word “tired”, most of us think physically, even though this was true. I was mostly tired spiritually and mentally. No matter how much I wanted to push myself pass the hurt and the reality of separation, I couldn’t go on anymore. I was on empty and my soul felt the wrath. Being a psych nurse, I’ve heard so many times before terms like “mental breakdown”...but I refused to believe that this would ever be me. All I knew was there were three little people depending on me to deliver. Therefore, I refused to introduce them to the life that I lived coming up. So I worked, and worked, and I worked some more. I went to sleep and woke up each day with one goal, and one goal only- to not let them down.
My life hadn’t been no walk
in the park. I was the daughter of two teen parents. My dad decided to leave us for the family across town, which in turn, forced us to live in a number of different places... with different family members. Unfortunately, that lead to me becoming a victim of sexual abuse by family members. I was sexually abused as a child and as a growing teen. I thought I wasn’t good enough, pretty enough, light enough, smart enough. My defense was a sassy mouth, and “clap-back” attitude that would cut you down to size. I figured if I cut you short, then you wouldn’t try to get next to me, and recognize that I’m so flawed and unlovable. This lasted throughout middle school and high school, where I had countless suspensions and expulsions. At 13 I met this guy whom I thought the world of. He was my escape from my dysfunctional family. I had my first drink at the age of 13, well, my first drinks and it felt wonderful! I didn’t understand what was happening, but I did understand that whatever I felt prior to those drinks was nothing compared to what I felt after. I became pregnant and had my first true love at 14, and later had my second true love at 16. Life was different. I dropped out of school to care for my kids, as well as keep an eye on what I THOUGHT was the best thing that had ever happened to me, their dad. Boy was I wrong! Through many years of abuse of all forms, I finally broke free, and in that “freedom” I searched for someone to love me like I loved my kids. Which also caused more hurt than not. So now I’m a teen parent with two small kids, high school drop-out, low self-esteem, and no clue to what was next in my life. I decided to go back to school to get my GED. Life still was a blur, by this time I tried to do what I saw. So I thought I could maybe be like the boys on the block, but that didn’t work out very well for me. So I gave up. All I knew was all I had seen, which wasn’t very much. I didn’t know which way to go, all I knew was I wanted different for my kids. I would find a job, and quit or get fired because I hadn’t quite mastered how to control my defense mechanism (my MOUTH). I was mad at everyone from my absent father to the lady at the corner store. I was just mad. I taught myself that being mad felt better. I met this guy at 21. I thought that he was heaven on earth. I had experienced more things with him in a year than I have in my entire 21 years. But then after proposing and almost two years into the relationship he left. One day he packed his bags and left. I was not only confused but devastated. This union lasted almost 10 years with much trial and error, marriage, a baby, and much built up resentment and hurt. We didn’t know how to love or at least respect each other through the pain. So it lead to our demise… Which lead to a new found Shareta - new found sense of self. I’ve ALWAYS needed and looked to external factors: men, drinks, even my kids for that validation, not realizing it was already there. I spent two years soul searching, sharing pieces of me with the world. Learning to love my own flaws and rebuilding myself inside and out. I think we all will forever be a work in progress. We should always be on a journey of self-evolvement. But for me, many years later, I can proudly look any adversity straight in the eye. And with much conviction ask, are you ready for a PIECE of me!? Much love ~Reta
PROFESSIONAL TIPS: I personally advise each and every person that has ever faced adversity in their lives in any form to seek professional counseling. Our culture usually shies away from seeing a “shrink”, but talking with a psychologist saved my life, saved my soul. 1. 2. 3.
Take care of yourself holistically. Mind, body, and soul. Meditate, eat well, rest, and find a hobby. Know that your past is not your future. You are in control of your destiny.
Shareta Nicole
@shareta_n_l
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REGISTER TODAY:
http://www.oasisvoyagestravel.com/rw/view/6026 14 | LOVE MARRAIGE & PARTNERSHIP | THE REVIEW
...Featured Speakers...
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Cenaca CYPRI AN F I T N E S S
21
&
N U T R I T I O N
DAYS
To form a habbit...
To make a change...
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What you feel or experience at any point in time is up to you. Change your thoughts, and you change your life. Easier said than done, right? Focus on how to change bad habits, foster healthand life-enhancing habits, and how doing something for 21-days can enrich your life and follow through on what you say you want to do or accomplish. As an example, let’s look at how your thoughts can make or break a new exercise program. Everyone knows that exercise is of paramount importance in creating vibrant health. At first, you have a lot of motivation and meet your goals. But as the days spin by, things start to spin out of control. It seems that something always comes up that appears to be more important than exercise. Whatever circumstances you create (they rarely just arise), and no matter how legitimate they seem at the time, be aware that your mind is more than happy to help you create excuses so that you can slip back into familiar patterns. It takes 21 days of consistently repeating an activity before your mind accepts it as a habit. Whatever you do for 21 days makes or breaks a habit. And it really works!
THREE SUREFIRE STEPS TO STAY MOTIVATED TO EXERCISE
* Choose an exercise program that includes activities you honestly like to do. Most important, select things that you won’t dread doing a minimum of three times a week. * Create an exercise plan that seems easy to accomplish. Don’t create a plan so difficult that it sets you up to fail. * Commit to 21 days. If you skip a day; start over again. The reasoning behind this is simple: Because it takes 21 days to form a new habit. Three weeks isn’t a very long time, so if you find your mind coming up with excuses, SNAP out of IT and remind yourself that you only have to do it for 21 days.
If at the end of that time you still don’t enjoy the activity or feel you aren’t receiving any benefit, reevaluate the situation. What you’ll almost surely find is that by the end of the 21 days, you’ll no longer mind doing the exercise. It will have become a normal part of your life. Then at that point, you’ll be on the road to Team Naked Fine!
Please visit www.teamnakedfine.com for online training, personal training, group bootcamps, nutrition coaching, weight-loss and more!
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W W W. S TA C Y B R YA N T. C O M
706-992-8535
Coach GIGI GATES AUTHOR, TRANSFORMATION COACH, ENTREPRENEUR
TO THE
ISLAND
OF
SUCCESS W W W. C O A C H G I G I . C O M
WWW.THESTILETTOBOSSES.COM
601-274-3429
SUPPORT@STILETTOBOSSES.COM
GIGIAGATES@GMAIL.COM
I am looking to have others join this membership network. 20 | LOVE MARRIAGE & PARTNERSHIP | THE REVIEW
Ashleigh
KOTTER
EVERY TUESDAY | 6PM CST 302-202-1110 | PIN: 993746#
A Voice in the Wilderness of Healing is a voice to those who are in the wilderness experiences of life. I personally spent 17 years in the wilderness of healing from sexual, mental and emotional abuse. Through my process I gleaned so many principles and habits that led me from that place of captivity (those broken places within). I was delivered from it to find myself in a wilderness, the wilderness of healing. Because I endured the process to the promise land of purpose and destiny, I am able to help others find their way to healing and purpose.
Heyitsmeashleigh@gmail.com
NOW AVAILABLE
I am a 32 year old ordained Minister at East Fernwood MB Church in McComb, Ms. My Pastor Jimmy Wilson prophesied to me twice that I would write a book and sale it on Amazon. I wrote this book in 9 days and was completed with the full process in a month.
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Minister, Business Strategist, Motivational Speaker & Entrepreneur
LASHANDA GARY is the CEO and Founder of
DREAM. BUILD. SUCCESS.
MeetLaShanda GARY WWW.LDGARYCEO.COM
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HAPPY TEACHER’S APPRECIATION WEEK!
MAY 3 - 6, 2016
How great is your imagination? However colorful it is, picture a sales associate. Better yet, picture yourself as a sales associate, who has the delightful pleasure of servicing the same 20 to 100 plus customers every single day. You have a few customers that are serious shoppers who know exactly what they want, they make your job easy, and their daily “purchases” make your sales skills look so darn good, you hate to even take credit for it some days. Then there are the customers who know they need something, but they aren’t quite sure what it is. They make up the majority of your customer base. You know the ones who just want to browse. They haphazardly try on a number of items, make a few random purchases, and you make sure to go over your return policy and give them their proof of purchase, because they will be back, lacking satisfaction with their purchase. Oh and your day wouldn’t be complete without the handful of difficult customers. They come in frustrated! Maybe they’re upset about something from another store, or even home. Sometimes you wonder “How can they be this challenging every day? Is this a hobby for them? This must be intentional.” You graciously deal with all of these customers daily while remembering that your managers have set what appears to be unrealistic quotas for current merchandise, while promoting new items, and reminding customers of last season’s deals. You look at the clock and breathe a sigh of relief because you’ve maintained your area all day, overlooked the fact that Frank from the other department ate your lunch from the staff lounge, and your shift is about to end. Just when you’re about to close your sales for the day, your manager reminds you that there is a video that you have to watch for HR, and there is a customer flagging you down so you can show them again how to go online to download the coupon for their next purchase. As you walk into the parking lot, rattling your keys, hungry, and debating how to get back at Frank for taking your lunch, you smile with a sense of weariness and joy. You have to do it all over again tomorrow. May 2 – 6 was Teacher Appreciation Week. Next to parents, teachers have one of the most trying sales jobs on the planet. How’d you like to see your clients and customers every day for the better part of a year? Well, the teachers that you send your beloved little ones to do just that and more. Hopefully, you took some time this week to show your appreciation. It’s not too late if you didn’t do so, but remember the end of the school year is fast approaching. If you don’t have school aged children, drop in to your neighborhood school with something special for the staff.
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...Check out some of these suggestions... FOR THE INDIVIDUAL: Gift Card: You cannot go wrong with a gift card to a restaurant, spa, coffee shop, or book store. You’re probably thinking it would be cool to get a gift card for a school supply store or something of that nature, but let this gift of appreciation be just for them and not something they can use in the classroom. Gourmet Gifts: Nothing says delightful like specialty pastries, chocolates, fruits, coffees, or teas. A little flattery can be just the thing a teacher needs to ease away a very taxing day with people just outside of their age range. Give them a sophisticated, mature way to unwind with a gift of appreciation that not only tastes great, but is aesthetically pleasing as well. Personal Video: Create a fun, personal video featuring students, other parents, or even community members to celebrate the occasion. Make arrangements to send it to the teacher personally through email or the most appropriate media.
FOR THE GROUP: Cater Breakfast or Lunch: Treating the staff or team of teachers doesn’t have to be a big ordeal. From cereal bars and juice to chicken biscuits, quiche, and grits, just about any kind of edible treat will warrant smiles and feelings of gratitude. Body Therapy: Arrange for massage therapist to provide 5-10 minute treatments, fitness experts to provide quick cardio routines, or a DJ/live band to play some great “old school” music to send them home grooving. Personal Video: Create a fun, personal video featuring students, other parents, or even community members to celebrate the occasion. Make arrangements to post the video to the school website or social media page. ***Tip – Whatever you do, be sure to include a personal note of appreciation.
T
H
E
S
E
C
O
N
D
Q
U
A
R
T
E
R
We are well into the second quarter, the clock is ticking, and your actions now will determine the trajectory of the rest of the game. How did your first quarter look? Did you set out your year with decisions and affirmations that this would be the year you accomplish more, change, or take time to be still and listen? If you have already called for a time out, consider this conscious interrupt to be an answered prayer and a guarantee that you will have possession when the game resumes. To start, just relax because you are right where you are supposed to be. Whether you’ve had some success or a number of failures, they both serve as stepping stones to move forward. Time is valuable, but not as valuable as the thoughts, decisions, and actions that you take with the time you have now. Know that your best thoughts, decisions, and actions have gotten you to the point of where you are right now. Remind yourself of what you said you wanted, why you want it, and what you said you were willing to sacrifice to have it. Along with that, evaluate what was working best for you in your first quarter. Continue to duplicate the successful things until they become systematic. Focus on creating new favorable outcomes instead of correcting situations that have already occurred. It’s with great certainty that you’ve heard the phrase, “Don’t give up. Keep your goals before you.” Part of doing so is understanding that the vast majority of the game is mental, where approximately 20% is the physical activity. This simple principle is one that any great athlete would share with you. As you prepare to go back in for the rest of the game, go confidently knowing that you win. If you’ve found that you’ve become susceptible to negativity or confusion, it’s because you have failed to execute a discipline that is well within your ability. See the person at the end of your victory, and BE that person- adopting every thought and behavior. It’s not halftime yet, the ball is in your possession, and your audience of accountability is watching. Game on!
7 WAYS to SEE a Change in Your Mate!
So you’ve been in a relationship for a while now, and one or two of your significant other’s habits have become rather apparent, and not in a flattering way. Is it the way that they dress, the way that they act in social environments, or the way they communicate with you or with family? Whether you’re the type of person that just tells it like it is, or you’re very tactful in your approach, you’ve still been unsuccessful in actually seeing a difference in their behavior. Perhaps you’ve never told them how you felt about it for whatever reason, or it could be a new habit that has developed, and you aren’t quite sure how to deal with it yet. Consider these seven ways to see a change in your mate. UNDERSTAND THE HABIT. Before you just rule the behavior or habit as something that needs to be changed, try understanding why it exists. More than likely, the poor eating habits, the negative thinking or comments, or the lazy behaviors are simply symptoms to greater issues. Consider the fact that the habit is probably suppressing a bigger problem beyond the surface. IDENTIFY WHY THE HABIT BOTHERS YOU. Have you ever determined why your mate’s habit actually bothers you? Their habit is possibly second nature to them, or something that they’ve learned through their experiences. Just because they do things differently, doesn’t mean that they are wrong. It’s also important to make sure that you desire to see a change in the behavior is authentic, and not influenced by other’s thoughts and opinions. DETERMINE WHETHER YOU ARE WILLING TO HELP. Have you ever found yourself saying, “You really need to do something about this?” To be honest, if your mate was aware that they had a bad habit, had a behavior that bothered you, or if they knew how to change what it is that they’re doing, they’d change. Once he/she sees that you have a genuine concern about their habit because it is something that is keeping them from being their best, you have to be willing to provide the help necessary through unconditional love. Once your mate can see that you are willing to be a part of their change process, they will appreciate you. PRAY. Know that you actually have no power to change anyone. God can work through you to help inspire or initiate change in your mate, but you personally aren’t what causes the change. The focus of your prayer is that God works in them so that he/she can do or be what God has called them to, according to His will, on His time. God can use you to help support and nurture the process while also giving you the grace and peace to endure the transition. ADDRESS THE HABIT WITHOUT JUDGEMENT. Confrontation doesn’t have to be critical. When you pair the two, the results backfire like you wouldn’t imagine. The timing and manner in which you address the habit will determine whether or not your mate will receive what you have to say without resentment. PROVIDE AN ENVIRONMENT THAT FOSTERS CONVICTION. Assuming that you know your mate well, you know what their genuine desires are. Instead of continuing to verbally address the change in behavior you would like to see, take your mate to an environment where the desired behavior is modeled. Perhaps a business setting or an upscale restaurant so that he/she can see how others act, dress, and speak. Placing them around people that have characteristics that they admire or respect allows for personal conviction to take place. They can actually see others modeling the behavior that they would like to see in themselves without feeling intimidated or threatened. FOCUS ON BEING THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE. If you have indeed identified some habits in your mate that aren’t so favorable, it can be guaranteed that you have some habits of your own that need to be addressed. If you truly desire to see a change, you have to be the change first. Focus on the areas of growth that you need to develop or refine. Your efforts towards becoming your best self won’t go unnoticed. When your focus becomes more about making you better, instead of seeing a difference in your mate, they will want to honor your growth. There is something infectious about personal growth that inspires those that we love to do the same. When you take the stance that you are working on becoming better so that you can be a greater help to them, your mate should honor that through the humbleness of their character. 31 | LOVE MARRIAGE & PARTNERSHIP | THE REVIEW
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