LEADERS: WHAT WILL YOU HAVE TO MASTER?

By Donna Johnson-Klonsky, president of DJ Consulting Services Inc.

by Donna Johnson-Klonsky

always requires change. As we strive for more, there will be victories…and there will be mistakes and setbacks. Without a well-defined and grounded perspective of one’s self-worth, bouts of discouragement can spiral downward into an “I will never be good enough” mindset. Applying the “Rejuvenate Self-Worth” tool increases our ability to rebound from changes quicker, thus avoiding delays in our careers or businesses.

Design Pattern

Instead of being deflated by the outcome, you look to grow from the experience. Others are drawn to your willingness to “fail forward” toward future success.

Others’ Relationship With Change

You’ve just arrived at a party that is in full swing. Looking around the room, you feel confident in what you selected to wear. It is easy to identify some colleagues by how they dress. A wide assortment of clothing and accessories reminds you of the diversity of those you work alongside. Even from a distance, the choice of outfits announces personalities. Each person chose different components to create the desired visual image.

As you climb the ladder to the highest platform, take a moment to listen to your thoughts and feel your emotions. You have victoriously emerged from your change, eager to master your world.

In my last article, “Leaders: What Will You Have to Welcome?” I shared the most significant characteristics of the eighth stage of change, “welcome.” In this article, I introduce the ninth and final stage, “master,” to help you determine if you are on this stage of the change process and what you could do next.

Proficiency & Expansion

For such an event, few would have chosen wornout threads. Likewise, our self-worth could be worn down over time. Periodically, we should re-examine the elements representing our view of ourselves. This article, the thirteenth in the series, continues to introduce the various Change Proficiencies, which are different strategies and techniques required to facilitate successful changes. It will present the “Rejuvenate SelfWorth” technique to expand or restore your sense of fulfillment amid professional challenges.

According to the article “What is Self-Worth & How Do We Build it?” by Courtney E. Ackerman, MA, “Self-worth is at the core of our very selves — our thoughts, feelings and behaviors are intimately tied into how we view our worthiness and value as human beings.” It is how we feel about the type of person we are.

How Can You “Rejuvenate Self-Worth?”

Examine Closet

To master your change, you have had to modify your overall relationship with change. Pay attention to others who are experiencing change. You must take time to analyze and comprehend how those who work closely with you respond to change. Their actions, which originate from their thoughts and emotions, are like road signs that can reveal where they are in the change process. This insight will improve your ability to navigate how their changes may impact your professional or personal goals. Listen intently, and compare their thoughts and actions to the knowledge you have gained from the change process. As a leader, application of this knowledge is vital.

As a business coach, I have worked with clients who felt they were not “good enough.” Interestingly, they could not define what good enough looked or felt like. They did not have a vision of the final image. Without a definitive pattern of what “good enough” is, it is easy to lose confidence in ourselves and shrink back when faced with setbacks. We get into trouble when we compare ourselves with others, seek external validation or when others fail to recognize our selfworth, causing us to question our value. How do you determine what good enough is? Surprisingly, it is similar to how you decide whether you ate, slept or read enough. You, and you alone, determine the value you place on yourself and your self-worth. Now that does not mean you should settle for less than your best, but what it does mean is that it is your vision, and you are solely responsible for building, fulfilling and living it.

and tools to conquer future changes, results in more clarity and focus. Remember: you have mastered a specific change, not your entire life. The more changes we can master, the greater our success. However, it does take time and patience. Many more victories will have to be won before you can experience mastery multiple areas of your life.

If you believe you have reached the “master” stage in your change, congratulations! Now, ponder and choose another experience, and apply what you have learned about change to approach, process and master it. If you haven’t completed the “master” stage, I strongly encourage you to remain dedicated to working through your current change.

What Does it Mean to “Rejuvenate SelfWorth?”

In the “master” stage, you are proud of who you have become and look forward to further transformation. You are comfortable with disquieting memories that surround your change and share your feelings freely. You are confident that you have the knowledge, expertise and understanding to master other changes, which will ultimately lead to mastery in other areas of your life and strengthen your cherished dynamic energy.

Release From Fear of Failure

For many reasons, my chances of finding the right outfit in your closet are slim. We express unique styles from the textures, designs and colors of the clothing, footwear and accessories we wear. Similarly, most of us have distinct views of what makes up our self-worth. To “Rejuvenate SelfWorth” requires examining the components that form our self-perception, discarding whatever we have outgrown and refreshing our self-worth wardrobe.

Most of us periodically review the items in our closets and discover things that are outdated, snug or no longer harmonize with our lifestyle. Likewise, you must re-examine your mental wardrobe to decide if the intrinsic value you place on yourself needs to be modified or updated. This reassessment includes reflecting on whether certain behaviors allow doubts to slip in. For example, self-integrity is part of my selfworth closet. When I repeatedly fail to uphold a promise I made to myself, sometimes it causes me to question my merit. Now, it’s your turn. Explore and evaluate your thoughts, beliefs and actions to see what it reveals about your self-perception.

Take Measurements

Through my clients, I have often heard that when their teammates’ and colleagues’ words and actions are misaligned, it frequently has to do with the disconnect between where they are in the change process and where their leader wants or needs them to be. You may need your team to evolve or embrace different professional situations or ways of performing their assignments, and they may still be trying to figure out how to stand up to or accept the change. A business coach can help bridge the gap between leaders’ expectations and their team members’ performance.

Where do you start? Once you can visualize what good enough looks and feels like, set realistic milestones to determine when you have accomplished your goal. Next, look for or create opportunities where your current qualities can shine. Then, strive to incorporate one or two new characteristics into your self-worth wardrobe until your vision is your reality. As time passes, continual growth will provide ample opportunities to expand your self-perception.

As you go forward, remain alert to your thoughts and emotions, and align your actions so your dynamic energy will continue to blossom. From “stand up” to “master,” your journey through the change process has cleared away faulty perceptions for your specific change. As you select the next change, seek insight from those you trust. To upgrade your viewpoint, ask them questions about inconsistencies that may exist between your words and actions.

Why Must You “Rejuvenate SelfWorth?”

We all want more. More opportunities, flexibility, freedom, happiness and the list goes on. More

One of the greatest freedoms is being free from fear of failure. When you reach the “master” stage, you are driven by curiosity of what could happen and are no longer held hostage mentally or emotionally to failure. After exploring the risks and rewards, you pursue goals with expectations of success. Even if you fall short of your objective, you are prepared to extract and apply what you have learned.

Your value assessment may not have revealed missing characteristics. It is hard to determine if something is missing if you do not know what should be included. Take the time to identify and validate what qualities you consider are the foundation for valuing yourself. Dig deeper. What are the components that collectively represent your self-worth? Are there missing elements? Perhaps, trustworthy, loyal, dependable, responsible, respectful, kind and compassionate are a few that can round out your list. Commend yourself for the uplifting components you currently embody. Do not worry that the list must be all-inclusive. You can always enhance it later.

What Mastery Means

Most of us, at one time or another, have questioned our value and merit when thoughts of not being “good enough” invaded our minds. Examining your thoughts, beliefs and actions will reveal what is currently in your self-worth closet. Gaining clarity on which qualities you want to enhance or embrace will enrich your value. Most importantly, it is an accurate understanding of what good enough looks and feels like to you, along with taking ownership of your vision, that will bring more fulfillment as you pursue your career and business goals.

Mastery is demonstrated in many ways. Exceptional progress will be made because your actions are closely aligned with future goals, and you are committed to continual transformation. Your relative peace of mind amid uncertainty and fear, which stems from the confidence that you possess and the knowledge, insight

This article is the last in a series that highlighted the nine stages of the change process presented in my book, “Aspects of Change.” The next series of articles will highlight the “art of change” and reveal the proficiencies you need to move from one stage of change to the next and create forward movement in any goals. No change can stand in your way when you apply these practices.

Donna Johnson-Klonsky, MBA DJ Consulting Services, Inc. djconsultingservices.com

Tel: (845) 447-1037

Donna Johnson-Klonsky, MBA, PCC DJ Consulting Services, Inc. East Fishkill, New York 12533 djohnson@djcsfirm.com

(845) 447-1037