THIS IS IT (I’M SHOWING UP) by MARGOT TERC
I SEE MYSELF EVERYWHERE
MY HEART COMES BACK TO ME
I sometimes forget that my voice is important and valid. I am ver y emotional and I feel too many things, and sometimes the things I want to say feel too much. Too emotional, too passionate/ righteous, too personal. But lately I’ve just been thinking that my too muchness just is, and my voice just is. I have about six zines that I want to develop, and the whole voice insecurity thing doesn’t do much for them. I need to have a space where I make sense of the world, and what I feel and think, and at this point my projects are as much part of sur vival as anything else. Making things and having creative mediums to express myself (tools! weapons!) is the most important thing to me right now, and I want to show up and do my part.
This is it, this is my life, and I want to go hard on my projects and visions. I am here for myself, and I’m gonna take up space.
I’M SHOWING UP.
I AM HERE FOR MYSELF. I AM GIVING MYSELF THE SPACE AND THE POWER, AND I AM PURSUING M Y O W N AG E N DA I AM IN IT. MY ENTIRE BEING IS IN IT.
There will be days where I will feel sad and heavy, and motivation and inspiration will feel far, far away. Those days will be hard and I will want to stay in my room, escaping from everything, including myself. Sometimes life gets/feels incredibly ovewhelming, and the sky can barely comfort me. I feel so much, and sometimes I do not know where to put it all. And when that happens my visions and goals can feel far away. It’s all just part of it, and it’s real. It is those feelings and those weird ass days that make me vulnerable and open, and they sometimes make it easier to love people. And as uncomfortable and frustrating as it may get sometimes, the biggest thing for me right now is showing up and taking care of myself. Sometimes I need to remind myself that my feelings aren’t the most important part of my being. Sometimes I have to know that feelings come and go, and that they always pass. And
I’ve done it before. I’ve had my own back, I’ve made it, and I’ve bounced back stronger and bolder and softer. I don’t want/need to be afraid of the weird waves. I can use my feelings, and I can build and create from them. It is all energy and I can bend it and turn it into things. I get to be soft and angry and emotional and too much. If I need to feel it, I’m gonna go in. I just want to know that the feelings and the waves come and go, and if they are just messing with my shit, I can give them less of myself. There will be hard days, and I will get through them. I am here, and the sky is here, the trees and the ferns, and lil dogs, my fam and my friends, those lovely strangers I always run into, all those soft and deep colors, and we are all here for each other. I am loved and supported, and waves always pass. They always do.
I am developing my voice and creative power. I am giving myself the tools to express my visions, and make things out of what I see and what I feel, and what I carr y inside. This is it, and I’m showing up, and I am embracing my power.
RADICAL SELF-LOVE
I AM HERE FOR MYSELF