Igniting your life

Finding your spark and building self-worth

By Michaela Pointon

Having a positive relationship with yourself and high self-esteem means working through ups and downs will be manageable.

Having strategies to help you navigate the tougher times means you will have a healthier approach to life.

Having a strong sense of self-esteem does not mean you are an arrogant person.

Often, Kiwis find themselves in a position of not willing to celebrate their achievements in fear of ‘Tall Poppy Syndrome’.

However, celebrating your personal journey with people you care about is a starting place to finding the sparkle in your life.

Small Steps is a New Zealand organisation with many tools to help manage stress, calm your mind and lift the mood if you’re feeling down. Finding your spark in life and building self-worth doesn’t have to be daunting.

“Self-worth is about seeing yourself as valued or as someone who matters. We all have moments of doubt, but having a strong sense of self-worth means appreciating yourself for who you are, and having the right to ‘just be’,” Small Steps New Zealand (NZ) says.

They say self-worth is linked to confidence through trusting yourself. Believe you have the ability and skills to take on the task in front of you.

“Your confidence levels can change depending on what you’re doing at the time. For example, you’re fine with singing to yourself, but not always to an audience.”

Self-worth is about recognising when you might need space to de-stress or calm down, using tools such as deep breathing.

Youthline New Zealand also have tips for finding your confidence and inner-spark again.

“The way we think about ourselves has a big impact on how we feel about ourselves, what we do in our daily life and how we interact with others.”

They suggest the ‘inner-critic’ voice we hear from time to time can be limiting if we don’t hold this voice accountable.

Tips for finding your inner-spark include remembering all the good things about yourself.

“Keep a list of compliments you get from other people or the nice things people do for you. By keeping a list can help you to notice these things more often,” Youthline says.

We all get bogged down by the routine of everyday life, so finding ways to incorporate your hobbies and passion projects into your daily or weekly plan can give you satisfaction needed to be inspired by life again.

“If you are stuck in the old habits of not doing much, start getting back into the activities you really like doing or try a new activity.

“This could be a mix of activities [such as] reading, drawing, writing, listening to music or baking. There are many activities to do with others such as joining a local team or club.”

Another piece of advice is to say ‘yes’ more often. Saying yes when invited to a social occasion, (even when you want to reject the offer from social anxiety), can increase your ability to develop trust within yourself.

“Even if you don’t think it will be fun at first, give it a go and stay openminded. You’ll never know if you don’t try,” Youthline says.

Expanding your social circle to meet new people, is one way to find motivation again. Proving to yourself you have the ability to show up and form connections will help with personal self-esteem too.

Youthline suggests general tips for increasing self-esteem such as setting goals, keeping a list of achievements, doing something nice for another person, and staying healthy also contributes to the personal growth.

This could be a mix of activities [such as] reading, drawing, writing, listening to music or baking. There are many activities to do with others such as joining a local team or club.

Finding a spark for life is easier some days than others.

Challenging your negative self-talk and doing more of what you love can help you to rediscover your self-esteem spark.

Recognising when your sparkle needs uplifting is the place to start.

Hopefully, by implementing some of the advice about you will be on your way to a season of positive self-esteem.

To find out more about Small Steps NZ visit: www.smallsteps.org.nz

By Michaela Pointon

Being emotionally intelligent is vital to functioning in the world around us every day.

Having skills to regulate yourself, while remaining resilient and professional, is at the core of being a successfully emotionally intelligent person.

Skillset New Zealand is a world-class soft-skills training organisation based in Christchurch. The organisation is founded by expert in human psychology research Ralph Brown.