emotionally intelligent er matter

He says there is often a misunderstanding about emotional intelligence, “Toxic optimism is where people often believe they need to be positive at all times.

“Martin Seligman’s positive psychology research shows that people who are genuinely optimistic can feel down and also be resilient.

“The notion that being optimistic all the time is achievable is unhealthy. People who are true successful optimists are people who can set goals and achieve them through [strong] planning.”

Productive pessimism is a term Ralph uses to describe thinking and planning for working towards goals where aspects could ‘go wrong’.

“Strategy and resilience when planning to meet targets, deadlines or goals in life, means a person is resistant. Be specific when planning for things to go wrong when working towards a goal.”

Strategy and resilience when planning to meet targets, deadlines or goals in life, means a person is resistant. Be specific when planning for things to go wrong when working towards a goal.

Being emotionally intelligent means you will approach life with a balanced mindset and are unbothered by the emotions of others.

“Having a growth mindset where you are open to change, rather than a fixed mindset, is something you can develop with time,” Ralph says.

Setbacks and challenges throughout life are normal. How we approach change will determine our reactions, positivity and overall wellbeing in life.

Being self-aware, having self-management and social awareness helps us to maintain relationships, as well as developing them to retain these friendships.

It is inevitable conflict will arise. Meeting conflict with empathy and kindness where necessary means other people will be inclined to match your behaviour.

Being an emotionally intelligent person does not mean being ‘perfect’ in your reactions at all times. Approaching situations with compassion means you will become the best emotionally intelligent version of yourself.

Retaining an open-mindset and having strategies in place to self-reflect on your emotions is the start to becoming a highly successful emotionally intelligent person.

Ralph Brown is celebrating his retirement from Skillset after 38 years of being with the business in late March. We would like to thank Ralph for his contributions to this story and his dedication to studying human behaviour.

If you’d like to find out more about Skillset New Zealand and the programmes they offer, make sure to visit their website at: www.skillset.co.nz

Meares Williams has been serving Christchurch and Canterbury people and businesses for over 100 years.

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