WMN on Sunday - West Magazine 7 December

7.12.14

Lookin’ Rosie Devon’s supermodel turns designer

INSIDE + WIN: FUN GIANT WALL STICKERS

YOUR BEST PARTY SEASON EVER... + SHOP IN STYLE + KILLER LASHES + SAVE MONEY

Options_Cover_Dec7.indd 1

PLUS: + 45 UNIQUE

GIFT IDEAS

+ LUXURY

INTERIORS

03/12/2014 13:36:04

Christmas and New Year at

Bodmin Jail

New Years Eve Party

Christmas Menu

Medieval Menu

Day or Evening - La Scala Function Suite or Restaurant (Pre-order required)

Music by ’Mass-Affect’ with an amazing ‘Laser Light Show’ to take you through to 1am - Prizes for the best fancy-dress!

Full tickets at £35pp - Door tickets only (with no food or table reservation) £10

Entrees Thick Vegetable Broth Served with Fresh Bread

Starters

Boneless Tandoori Chicken Thighs Served with a cool mint yogurt Tomato and Pepper Crumble

Hunter’s pot vegetable soup Fresh bread

Salmon Mousse Served with Melba toast

Game Keeper’s warm meat pie Served with gravy

Main Courses

Poacher’s Potted Shrimps In Mace butter Served with toast

Traditional Roast Turkey American Pot Roast Beef

Main Course

Above two main courses are served with Pigs in blankets Stuffing and Yorkshire Pudding

Shepherd’s Lamb Shank Braised in Mead sauce

Tuna Steak Served with a Lemon Butter

Peasant Spit Roast Pork Served with Cider sauce Salmon poached in Monk’s Ale Served with Tarragon butter

Homemade nut roast All above main courses served with our famous roast potatoes and three seasonal vegetables

Preacher’s Lentil and vegetable Bake Served with Tarragon butter

Home made Dessert Courses

All main courses served with root vegetable pie and jacket potato

Christmas Pudding and Brandy Sauce

Desserts

Santa’s Steamed Chocolate Pudding Served with White Chocolate Custard

Fair Maiden’s Creamy Custard Tart and fresh cream

Fresh Fruit Salad

Village Idiot’s Fruity Steam Pudding and custard

Homemade vanilla ice cream Tea & coffee offered

The Bishop’s Cheddar Cheese and Apple

Main course followed by mince pies £12.95 Two courses followed by mince pies £17.95 Three courses followed by mince pies £19.95

Tea & coffee offered

or’s Gift The Govuearrny 2015

One & two course menus lunchtime only (12 – 4 pm) Full menu available all day (12 – 9 pm) Please remember to book and pre-order your meals Non-refundable deposit required: £5 for Main course & £10 for 2/3 course per person Gratuities not included. Special Dietary requirements catered for

Jan ack!

GOF is b h T e BO

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10 %

FF

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N G E ET X T R A

Tel: 01208 76292 www.bodminjail.org

Work this look for the girls night out

)

Love :

Berrycoombe Road . Bodmin . PL31 2NR

Can’tggifots wrong

or One off us each

Say it with jewellery this Christmas... ay Christmas D sparkles THE MARKETPLACE FOR PROFESSIONAL JEWELLERY

10% OFF ALL ORDERS ON JEWELSTREET.COM USE CODE WMN10 AT CHECKOUT NOW CLOCKWISE FROM TOP LEFT: MI MONEDA Double Pendant Set with Silver and Gold Alegre Necklace £290, NORDIC GEMS Freshwater Pearl with Crystal Glitter Ball Drop Earrings £84, BLOSSOM Rose Gold Plated Silver CZ Flower Ring £59, MARLIN BIRNA Atlantic Salmon Leather Pendants £59, VIRTUE Rose Gold & Sterling Silver Composable Tree of Life Locket £231, CHRYSALIS Expandable Charm Bangles from £25 each.

Ads.indd 2

03/12/2014 15:08:38

‘I had failed as a competent rider. I couldn’t even get my stirrups the right length’ Kishanda Fulford on the perils of ponies, page 9

24 34

JUICY FRUIT Anne Swithinbank on caring for citrus plants in winter

12

STREET STYLE What the real life Westcountry fashionistas are wearing

LINGERIE The gifts you won’t take back on Jan 2

[contents[ Inside this week...

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THE WISHLIST What to buy, where to go

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WHAT’S ON Our pick of the best events in the West

9

MODERN MANORS Kishanda takes her daughter out hunting

11

26

DARLING! YOU LOOK, ER...

A fashion shoot goes so very wrong

14

THE WEST GIFT LIST

SLEEK LUXE Get the St Ives luxury look

Christmas pressies that they’ll adore

18

AIN’T NOTHING LIKE A DAME Meet the panto men who make us laugh

30

BEAUTY

10

WEST IN PICTURES Why we love, love, love it here

Tips and treats for looking your best

32

ON THE PULSE Lower blood pressure: six simple ways

34

THE GOOD LINGERIE GUIDE Undies you won’t be taking back in Jan

40

FRENCH CONNECTION Check out the new Bistrot Pierre eaterie

42

SCRIMP - AND SAVE Tim Maddams on thrifty festive cooking

43

ALE AND HEARTY Our beer expert on the best local brews

44

MOTORS AND GADGETS So - is the new Skoda Fabia still fab?

46

MAN & BOY Why penguins don’t make good pets

11

OH MY GOK!

Who’s who in the Christmas entertainment world this year 3

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03/12/2014 11:47:01

OUR LINGERIE BUYING GUIDE

[ welcome [

30.11.14

Making magic

Capturing Christmas t at the National Trus

You know the feeling...

Off comes the Christmas wrapping paper and... oh. He’s got you some festive lingerie that makes you fel anything but celebratory. Wrong size, wrong colour, scratchy lace and just plain unflattering. Small wonder lingerie is the most returned gift come January. Indeed, a recent survey found that one in five women never wear the lingerie their other half buys for them, while nearly one in four wear it only once, before leaving it to languish in the drawer.

Help is at hand, however, as we have a fantastic guide to buying lingerie on page 34 today, with the flattering silk range designed by our cover star, the Devon-born model Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, among our top picks.

PLUS: INSIDE:

Y + CAKE GOES CLASS + 23 FASHION LOOKS

+ 10 FESTIVE HEALTH TIPS + INDUSTRIAL

INTERIORS

[

Tweet

@NTSouthWest @WMNSunday supplement capturing Christmas with the National Trust @ NTKillerton @WMNWest

34

There’s also no excuse for not buying lovely pressies for your loved ones this week. On page 14 we have a four-page bumper gift collection, packed with charming, unusual goodies, many of which are created here in the Westcountry.

And if all this shopping advice is making you think about how best to save money, then our TV chef Tim Maddams has some great advice on thrifty - but delicious - Christmas cooking on page 42. Finally, as our gift to you, don’t forget to enter our easy-to-enter Christmas fudge competition on page 14, not to mention having a go at winning these super-cute made-inDevon wall stickers (pictured opposite). Have fun this weekend!

Becky Sheaves, Editor

A survey found one in five women don’t wear the lingerie their other half buys them

of the week

[

[ CONTACT: westmag@westernmorningnews.co.uk Tel: 01392 442250 Twitter @wmnwest

[

COVER IMAGE: Marks & Spencer

MEET THE TEAM Becky Sheaves, Editor

Sarah Pitt

Kathryn Clarke-McLeod

Catherine Barnes

Phil Goodwin

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03/12/2014 14:06:00

Zoo animal stickers £29 www.brume.co.uk

If you buy one thing this week...

Win

Toddlers fascinated by exotic creatures will just love these cute zoo animal stickers, £29, from South Brent-based company www.brume.co.uk.

We’ve got a set of these fun stickers to win.

TO ENTER: Send your name, address and contact details to westmag@westernmorningnews.co.uk with ‘Brume Competition’ as the subject by Dec 19. Normal terms apply.

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03/12/2014 16:11:26

CHECK IT OUT BEAUTIFUL

Have yourself a crafty little Christmas with this gingham reindeer tree decoration £1.50 www.tch.net

Devon glassmaker Jenny Ayrton’s gardening bookends, £380, from the Fowey River Gallery, www.foweyrivergallery. co.uk

The wish List West’s top picks for spending your time and money this week

Cutie Agnes tunic, Frugi £28 from Patch & Acre stores across the region www.cornwallfarmers.co.uk

MIAOW

Xxx

For someone who likes cats, without the hassle of having to feed one, a cat blackboard sticker from Brume in South Brent, Devon £19 www.brume. co.uk

Xxx 6

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02/12/2014 17:48:02

Wishlist

BRIGHT Gingham tinsel, £5 for three 2 metre lengths, www.tch.net

Cosy Red Riding Hood cushion, £22.99, www.clothears.co.uk

CHARMERS Fabric festive decorations handmade and stitched by Newlynbased www.poppytreffry.co.uk £25 each

Boutique of the Week Cooks Aweigh, Topsham Long-established in Topsham, Cooks Aweigh offers a wonderful range of cookware, French glassware, ceramics, household textiles and small pieces of furniture. In the courtyard garden, meanwhile, there are seasonal plants and galvanised and terracotta planters.

Although the shop is small, it is packed with original things, in a refreshing change from the uniformity of the high street stores. Owner Helen Mottershead always has a special monthly offer, too, so it is worth dropping by regularly.

Cooks Aweigh is at 22 Fore Street, Topsham, 01392 879723, cooksaweigh@gmail.com 7

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02/12/2014 17:48:35

Events

The hotlist: There’s plenty to do right now here in the Westcountry, from twinkling Christmas lights to fun-filled stage shows

#1

#2

#3

#4 2. Mousehole lights December 13

Dahl-y good fun Exeter December 9 – January 4 Roald Dahl’s high-spirited story George’s Marvellous Medicine is brought to life by the Birmingham Stage Company at Exeter’s Northcott Theatre this Christmas. Tickets from £12 plus special family deals, visit www.exeternorthcott.co.uk for details.

With carols, fun and lots of crowds, the Mousehole harbour lights in west Cornwall will be switched on next Saturday at 7.30pm.

You can also see them every evening from then until January 3rd from 5-11pm.

3. Christmas markets Plymouth, December 7 & 17 The Royal William Yard in Plymouth has a Christmas

market today until 3pm with local food and gift stalls and entertainment. Then there’s another one, specialising in Christmas food, on Wednesday December 17 from 2-8pm.

4. Icing on the cake Trelissick, December 13 You can ice a mini Christmas cake next Saturday at Trelissick Gardens near Feock in Cornwall. 11am-3pm, £2 - and you keep the cake!

Call 01872 862090 or visit www.nationaltrust.org.uk for details.

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02/12/2014 15:37:17

My life

[

MODERN MANORS

A hunting I won’t go

[

Kishanda Fulford on why her hedge-hopping days are behind her

unting was once a major part of my winter activity. What a palaver.

Not long ago I would wake up at some unearthly hour and march with purpose in the gloom of the early morning, when even the birds are still in bed, to the stables. There, I would find a fattish rugged pony requiring more hay. On the side of the feeding bins were laid out gloves, hairnet, back protector and coat. I could not fit into these items if I tried for they belonged not to me, but to my daughter. She was the one who later would be off for a day’s hunting. My fate, once she was boxed with her ‘darling pony’ would be to return to the house and find the detritus the rest of family had left in my absence - yet another stable to clear up or so it seemed.

I never managed to get my three sons hooked on the joy of hunting as they didn’t have the necessary dedication to the project. They just wanted to be John Wayne without the effort or the hat. My daughter meanwhile, would be woken from her slumbers and, like her pony, fed. This would require me to cook a ‘full English’ as she would not be home for lunch. Back then to the stables with her to make sure Fatty did not have a morsel of mud on him or on his tack. A long check would then reveal that a buckle on the reins had fallen off in the night and a terrible panic would ensue.

So, what was fun about these mornings? Well probably that cosy time when Fatty had to be brushed and brushed and his hairdo made the envy of the field. The chats as my daughter and I stood unsteadily on buckets and watched the tiny elastic bands, necessary to create the great coiffure, ping with regularity all over the stable.

The attention paid to the fluffy bits at the back

H

[

of Fatty’s heels when you knew full well that the minute he walked out of the stable he would tread in mud.

At the meet, you had to watch the myriad temptations available to both rider and pony to consume something they shouldn’t. I have seen a horse try to snatch a hot sausage roll off a tray as it goes past and who can blame them? I have also seen children swallow a slug of sherry - again, who can blame them? Finally they are off. In the early days, I was ‘off’ too as I clung to the leading

Where were the valuable tufts of hair that one could grab in an emergency? In my fright (I had not been hunting for many years) I swigged the nearest drink offered to me at the meet: whisky, which I hate. In order to take the horrible taste away I followed it with a glass of sweet sherry and felt better. Off we then went at that dancing, excited pace into the countryside. It was not long before were trotting at some speed down a 1:3 hill. I lost my footing in one stirrup, then at the bottom of the unending hill my ‘armchair’ flung its heels up at my daughter behind me, with good effect, kicking her pony hard.

I had failed as a competent rider. I couldn’t even get my stirrups the right length and my horse had kicked the one reason I was out.

You will not be surprised that I was guided away from the field by the kindest Master and helped on my way home. I fought the tears that welled at the edge of my eyes and also fought a very cross ‘armchair’, who badly wanted to continue hunting.

My daughter later returned unscathed and we ate chips, put Fatty to bed and I went to my own. I stayed there for the rest of the day - it was the only place I felt safe. I resolved never ever to go hunting again. But I could not be without a pony. And that is why I have what my husband considers to be my ‘pointless’ Shetlands!

[

I was assured that the horse was an armchair. It was hard to sleep for the few nights before the meet rein. Is it really ‘fun’ to run beside a pony up hill and down dale? No. But it is good for the figure.

In my daughter’s early hunting career, when she was off the lead rein, I felt it was only right and proper that I accompanied her and, for want of my own horse, I employed one I had never seen and, stupidly, had certainly never sat on.

I was assured by the livery that the horse was an armchair. It was hard to sleep for the few nights before the meet and when I met the brute, sorry, ‘armchair’, his mane had been hogged.

Kishanda Fulford lives in Great Fulford, Dunsford, Devon. The Fulford family has lived in the same house for more than 800 years.

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03/12/2014 12:02:22

Thunder: These handsome Clydesdales - more usually found pulling a plough - raced at Exeter race course

in pictures Melting moment: An amazing sunset behind The Mewstone, off Wembury, South Devon

Apprentice hopeful: Solomon Akhtar from The Apprentice gave a speech at his old uni, Exeter

Early bird: Jo Barrett at World Prematurity Day at Derriford Hospital, Plymouth. Baby Isabel weighed 1 lb 4 oz at birth

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02/12/2014 16:32:24

talking points Panto stars

Saucy

Gillian Molesworth

Story of my life...

10 types of Italian pasta, and what those names really mean:

1 Barbina Little beards 2 Linguine Little tongues 3 Ditalini Thimbles 4 Fusilli Rifle 5 Mostaccioli Moustache like 10 famous names appearing in pantomimes this festive season:

1 Bobby Davro (Dick Whittingon, Plymouth)

2 David Hasselhoff (Peter Pan, Southend, pictured)

6 Farfalle Butterflies 7 Orecchiette Little ears 8 Strozzapreti Priest stranglers

9 Tortellini Little pies 10 Mezzelune Half moons

3 Lesley Joseph (Snow White, Nottingham)

4 Jimmy Osmond (Cinderella, Llandudno)

5 Shane Ritchie (Dick Whittington, High Wycombe)

6 Julian Clary (Cinderella, Wolverhampton)

Tied up

7 Nigel Havers (Dick Whittington, Swindon)

8 Gok Wan (Cinderella, Southampton)

9 Louie Spence (Aladdin, Hastings)

10 Craig Revel-Horwood (Peter Pan, Dartford)

Granny no-more Try tying your parcels with this bunch of knots

1 Monkey’s fist 2 Constrictor 3 Cow hitch 4 Sheet bend 5 Tumble hitch 6 The Josephine 7 The Flemish eight 8 Thief knot 9 The dolly 10 Blood knot

Fashion shoots and how to survive them love reading Kathryn Clarke-McLeod’s “How to Wear It” piece in this magazine. One week she’s country classic, the next she’s a London blogger. That girl looks good in anything… and makes it fun to read about, too.

What stories we write about ourselves in the fashion world.

The clothes we choose send siga makeup artist, a model and a nals about who we are, do they photographer. not? They are our brand packIt was a huge faff getting eveaging. They say: “I am a mature rything together but we finally woman of business”, or “Buy us arrived with every car boot brima Bacardi Breezer, love”; “I cook ming: clothes, make-up, photograwith wholegrains” or “Later, I am phy equipment. But instead of an mucking out the ponies”.

Alpine pond we found a brambly What the clothing companies do car park, where stood a tiny plasis come up with products that fit tic enclosure. The hire skates were our own personal brand – or idealbright blue. The barrier around ly, make us want theirs. And how the rink was garishly striped. The do they do this? whole set-up was With beautiful the polar opposite models, beautiful to sophistication. settings, and beauEvery single And the snow tiful photographs. participant of my machine?

This is anothshoot immediately er reason why I had a massive Not snow but always appreciate hissy fit. I had to gobs of bubbles Kathryn’s pieces run from loo to – because I know locked car door spat out - like how hard it is to get saying, ‘It will be dishwashing those things right. fine! We’ll do it on liquid I’ve had a few a tight focus on a forays into fashreally long lens! ion shoots myself, The clothes are when I edited still lovely, aren’t Western Morning News’ Woman they?’ And there was always the section. My first one was when snow machine… ice skating had hit Cornwall.

Our game little model was finalThe Eden Project had a rink, and ly persuaded to don the first outfit mobile rinks were popping up all with shoes (we couldn’t bear the round the Westcountry. blue skates) while a straggly teen I was sent a flier from a hotel positioned the snow machine. down West. It showed skaters Ready? Not snow, but gobs of bubtwirling on an Alpine-esque bles spat out – like dishwashing frozen pond, with views to the sea liquid. Everyone squealed and beyond. The press officers raved: ran back to the car/loo. Kathryn it’s the perfect place for a shoot, makes it look easy, but I know it’s there’s even a snow machine! not. How to wear it? With planWith visions of snuggly knitwear ning, preparation, patience… and and wraparound scarves, I booked ideally, a location scout.

I

Gillian Molesworth is a journalist and mum-of-two who grew up in the USA and moved to north Cornwall when she met her husband 11

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02/12/2014 16:32:51

Trend

HOW TO WEAR IT:

The cape Kathryn Clarke-Mcleod gets to grips with this season’s new essential layer he cape was originally If I could justify three capes I would a cover up for ladies in also have one in a deep burnt orange, formal wear. Ingenious with a bejewelled brooch at the neckreally, as nothing ruins line and another in a tartan or check. the look of a ballgown I got caught by my other half lusting more quickly than your average Monover these on my iPad recently, and day-Friday brown coat (Although I had to endure a lecture on the ‘abthere is undoubtedly something to be solute lack of cupboard space’ in the said for an evening gown paired with house. ( I could think of a few football a leather jacket, or a bride swathed in shirts that are a waste of said space, her groom’s tux jacket *sighs*) but hey). But that’s an argument for These days, a cape is the go-to a later date. Perhaps a date after I extra layer for just about everyone. have safely unwrapped my ChristIncluding fashion royalty the Olsen mas presents, yet still a comfortable twins and A list celebs like Kim distance from Valentines Day...

Kardashian.

So, consider this a personal appeal.

Capes delight me.

Go buy a cape and let You get the warmth me live vicariously of a coat and the novthrough you. Pair it elty of being able to with your skinnies to Pop a chunky withdraw, turtle like, project yourself into into your shell in the the realms of everyknit underneath face of a cold breeze. day amazing. Pop a and add pointed They are especially chunky knit underfantastic for a day out neath and add pointed flats. Boom, shopping. Pre-cape, flats. Boom, you’re you’re Kirsten I would slowly but Kirsten Dunst. surely work myself up Or, buy an oversized Dunst to a state of fury when checked cape and wear attempting to conyour favourite leather quer my Christmas jacket underneath for list. The air outside is a bit of unexpected often in the minus temperatures, but texture and edge. Add overthe-knee less than 60cm inside a store and you boots and you are ready to sip lattes are assuaged by a torrent of air so hot in between swanning from store to that even my African senses (I grew store, without even the hint of a flusup in South Africa) are offended. tered cheek. Just think how jealous The silver lining is that the rethe lady, reduced to clumsily holdpeated ‘jacket on’ jacket off’ routine ing her winter coat in one arm while results in a karate-kid worthy worktrying to do battle with the clothes out and toned arms for the festive rails with the other, will be. season. Toning sessions are for the So next time you are headed on gym though, and the introduction of a night out, and everyone is waitthe cape into my life means that this ing for you near the door, you will is where they will stay. be able to say, ‘Hang on, let me get Oh, the incarnations of this simple my cape’. How fun. And your desigpiece. I plan on wearing this little nated superpower? That’s obvious: number to death, so grey works well super style. for me as it is endlessly versatile. If, like me, your usual winter season staAll fashion in these pictures is from ples are skinny jeans and black legPrincesshay Shopping Centre, Exeter, gings the world really is your oyster. www.princesshay.com

MAIN PHOTO HAIR: SAKS, EXETER MAKEUP: CLARINS, DEBENHAMS (BOTH PRINCESSHAY) PHOTOGRAPHY: STEVE HAYWOOD STILL-LIFE PHOTOGRAPHS: PR SHOTS

T

Knit-look cape, Next, £38 Black leatherlook high waisted leggings, River Island, £18 Alicia roll neck jumper in black, Reiss, £95 Bag, Kathryn’s own

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03/12/2014 14:15:33

NEXT Check cape £65 DEBENHAMS Geometric knit from the Betty Jackson Black range £79

GET THE

look STREET STYLE HERO

NEXT Block heel platform ankle boot £65

Hannah Acarnley, 15 Student, Exeter DEBENHAMS Red Herring cape £75

NEW LOOK Navy cape £44.99

Cape, Seasalt, £35 Top, Hollister, £20 Skirt, River Island, £12 Shoes, Schuh, £55 13

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03/12/2014 14:24:09

Gift guide 1

Win We have one pack of Cornish fudge maker Buttermilk’s three new festive fudges, worth £7.50 (pictured in the gift guide) to give away.

Email your details with ‘fudge competition’ as the subject to westmag@ westernmorningnews.co.uk by December 21. Normal terms apply

2 3

4 7

6

5

1. Yummy Cornish-made Buttermilk Christmas fudge trio, £2.50 for each 100g box 2. Selection pack of nine ciders, £30, from Polgoon vineyard, Rosehill, Penzance, available from the vineyard shop or at www.polgoon.com 3. Sewing machine cushion, from £45 according to size, www.poppytreffry.co.uk 4. Monterey cone cushion made of linen designed and printed by South Molton-based designer Sam Pickard, £59, www.sampickard.co.uk 5. Whale brooch, £2, from The Distinguished boutique in Plymouth’s Barbican, www.thedistinguished.co.uk 6. Santa Special hamper, £46.95, www.simplycornishhampers.com 7. Labradorite and gold waterfall earrings, £38,made by Georgie Roberts of north Devon-based www.wanderlustlife.co.uk 14

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Gift guide 8

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10 11 12

8. The men in your life willl cut a dash with these stag’s head cufflinks, £50, Gifts for Gentlemen in Dartmouth 9. Winter Night hamper of Devon goodies, £46, from www.purelydevonhampers.co.uk 10. Devon’s folk duo Show of Hands join others setting First World War poems to music, Centenary Words and Music of the Great War, £5, www.amazon.com 11. Worsted Somerset Glen check tie, woven at the restored Fox Bros mill in Wellington, Somerset, £95, www.themerchantfox.co.uk 12. Fox Prince of Wales check Albert slippers, £210, from the Fox Bros mill in Wellington, Somerset, as before 13. Ulster Weavers cafetiere cosy, £14, from The Distinguished in Plymouth’s Barbican, www.thedistinguished.supadupa.com 15

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Gift guide 15

14

16

17 19

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14. Rocking horses, from £1,495 handmade by the Ringinglow Rocking Horse Company, Crafthole, south east Cornwall, www.dapplegrey.co.uk 15. Viki heart blanket

by Lithuanian designer JJ Textile, £70, from The Distinguished, Southside St, the Barbican, Plymouth or online at www.thedistinguished.co.uk 16. Rudolf Reindeer toy from Sweden, www.skandihome.com, £35 17. Lime watering can £14.99, from Wyevale garden centres across the region, www.wyevalegardencentres.co.uk 18. Book of pirate tattoos, £4.50 from north Cornwall-based www.rockeandnutter.comco.uk 16

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Gift guide 20

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25

21

22

23

19. Harry and Jacks Adventure Pack JETPACK, £29.95, www.harryandjacks. 20. Binkie elephant lamp, £15, www.thegreatgiftcompany.co.uk 21. BattleBox Bear Grylls essential den kit, £49.95, www.battleboxcompany.co.uk 22. Handmade felt Narwhal whale, £19.95, from north Cornwall-based www.rockeandnutter.com 23. Christmas soap, £5 from Newlyn’s Poppy Treffry, www.poppytreffry.co.uk 24. Rabbit slippers, £25, www.oliverbonas.com 25. Ocean domino set, £13.50, from north Cornwall-based www.rockeandnutter.com 17

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MAIN PICTURE: NEIL ADAMS

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02/12/2014 17:40:22

People AIN’T NOTHING LIKE A DAME...

Oh yes she is!

Every year, apparently sane-seeming chaps don crinolines and bloomers to appear in pantomimes all over the Westcountry. We ask how - and why - they do it

anto is one of the most enduring, and extraordinary, Christmas traditions, and is found only right here in Britain. Girls in tights pretend to be handsome princes, evil villains are booed and hissed, children jump up on the stage to join in and the whole audience sings along raucously with the actors.

But above all, every panto needs a dame to boss all the other players about and steal all the best lines. Right now, in village halls and theatres right across the Westcountry, otherwise entirely sane men are busily stuffing outsize bras and perfecting their lipstick. Here are their stories...

P

Sam Pomeroy Sam Pomeroy, 27, is playing two dames this year, an ugly sister in Cinderella and Widow Twankey in Aladdin. He lives in Plymouth with his wife Hayley and two-year old son Theo.

pany, Cyclone, and I’m also studying at Plymouth University, where I’m in my second year of a theatre and performance degree.

After leaving school, I had various jobs in sales, marketing and recruitment, while being involved in amateur theatre. I thought long and hard before taking the risk and turning my love of theatre into my full time Sam says: As soon as I put on the dame’s job. I decided to go university to get the qualmakeup, I transform into my mum. There’s ifications I needed, for back-up and extra a definite likeness! experience. Around the same time, my wife I’ve been acting Hayley and I had been and directing pantotalking about starting a mimes for eight years family and she became in many different pregnant somewhat roles, but playing the more quickly than we dame does give you an expected. But with her In Cinderella added chance to have support, I left my job and fun – you can pick on became self-employed I was an Ugly a grown up in the auin May 2012, began uniSister called dience and when you versity in the Septemtake the makeup off, ber and then Theo was Lambrini - my you can get away and born in December. I’m so sister was no-one realises it was busy! But I’m lucky to be you. I can be quite in a career I’m passionChardonnay naughty, but there’s ate about. a line and I think I I think that the world know where it is. I get can be so cynical now close to it, peep over it that we often find the bad and sometimes dangle in things before we look one foot over the edge, for the good. Panto is the but never cross it. place where you let eveI’ve just played an Ugly Sister in Cinderelrything go, forget your inhibitions and see a la in Tavistock. I was Lambrini and my sister man in a dress, a woman in tights pretendwas called Chardonnay, played by my friend ing to be a man. It’s just a laugh. There’s no Matt Keast. Being part of a double act keeps deeper meaning - all you have to do is let go your energy up and if it’s a quiet audience and enjoy. not giving anything back, you’ll bounce off Sam is appearing in Aladdin in Tavistock each other. Matt and I are also co-directors next February, with Regarding Eve Theatre, of our own Plymouth-based theatre comvisit www.tavistockwharf.com for details.

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People

Robert Luke Robert Luke, 30, is playing Nurse Septic in a touring production of Sleeping Beauty this Christmas. He runs a print and graphic design company and lives in Exeter with his partner Robert says: Pantomime is, in 95 per cent of cases, the first live theatre a child will ever see. So to me, it is a huge responsibility. It’s got to be good, otherwise those children will never want to go to the theatre again. I want them to see the magic of live performance and fall in love with the theatre, just, like as I did when I was a child.

I’ve been in a pantomime every year since I was 12, when I was in the chorus of Mother Goose in an amateur production in Exeter.

For me, panto is as much part of Christmas as the presents and the tree: I can’t wait for it to come round every year.

That’s not to say it isn’t hard work. For the past five years, I’ve taken seven weeks off work every December and January to tour in a small professional pantomime run by Wonder Productions. There are just six of us actors.

We rehearse in Newquay and we travel around the South West all the way up to the Midlands in a van, with just one technician to help us with the sets, lights and sound. We stay in Travelodges: it’s not exactly glamorous.

But it is great fun. And the Dame is such a great part. I get to prance about in frocks, making people laugh. To a certain extent, the pantomime dame drives the whole production onwards, so you do have to be swift-thinking and really connect with the audience. We do about 40 performances in six weeks, with just a week of full-time rehearsals beforehand.

We have a special script written for us, as we have such a small cast and limited sets. We can’t exactly achieve a flying carpet when we’re setting up in a school or village hall. But the jokes are great and we belt out the songs.

My partner doesn’t get it at all – he hates panto. But for me, pantomime is truly magical. I don’t know of anywhere else in the world except Britain that has such a mad, fun, inclusive and enjoyable theatrical tradition. We’re very lucky. I hope I’ll be a dame every Christmas throughout my life.

Wonder Productions are touring Sleeping Beauty around the South West this December and January. For venues and dates, visit www. wonder-productions.co.uk 20

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Oooh you naughty man!

Robert Luke has played the Dame for the past five years. This year he will be Nurse Septic in Wonder Production’s Sleeping Beauty

Xxx

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People

Simon Harris

Simon Harris, 53, is married with three grown-up children and works in police forensics. He will be playing an ugly sister in Totnes Amateur Dramatic Society’s Cinderella next January.

My job as a scene of crime forensics officer in the police can be stressful at times although, after 29 years, I can put it in a box so I don’t bring it home. But my career is part of the reason I got into doing panto - am dram is a great way to switch off.

My late dad Roy was a vicar in Totnes and Plymouth, but he was also a seriously good actor and did all the silly characters in the local pantos. At the end of a duet in one show, they had to do two encores – he was that good. So I followed in his footsteps and from the age of 15 I would play his sidekicks, such as Buttons or Wishee-Washee.

This year will be my first time as a dame. However, I once camped it up as a prince in an Exeter police pantomime in the early 90s and sat on racing driver Nigel Mansell’s knee. He was a special police officer at the time, and was (foolishly) sitting in the front row.

I’m playing Fatima in Cinderella and Dave Waistnidge, who’s a chemistry teacher, is my Ugly Sister Thinima. He’s played the dame for years so I’m relying on him to hold my hand through it! The uglies can be quite nasty to Cin-

derella, but you want them to be liked – so it’s the stepmother who’s really bad. The sisters are just full of themselves. They’re always squabbling but the one thing they do agree on is that Cinders won’t get to marry the prince.

I’m looking forward to the dressing up: rehearsing in bloke’s clothes is a bit odd and I think everything will fall into place with the wigs and makeup on. I’ve already been told to lower the pitch of my voice. After all, part of the joke is that you are a man underneath it all.

I’ve learned my lines although there’s generally always a bit of ad-libbing too and every show is different. The audience is very much a part of a good panto. Even when you are talking to another character, you are looking at them all the time.

The predictability of it all is part of a pantomime’s fun. You know the story, what’s coming and all the old gags. But that’s all a big part of its charm.

Cinderella opens at Totnes Civic Hall on January 21.

For details visit: www.taods.com

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interiors

34

fashion

29

shop

style

24

garden

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02/12/2014 15:23:21

Gardens

ANNE SWITHINBANK

Citrus Devon’s Anne Swithinbank, panellist on Radio 4’s Gardeners’ Question Time, says it’s time to give your citrus trees some winter TLC s the year turned and the weather grew colder, gardeners toiling in the 17th, 18th and 19th centuries would have had their work cut out.

Orange trees kept in huge tubs or caisses were massive status symbols for their owners and vital ingredients for decorating the formal gardens of the time. From Renaissance Italy, the need to express power and wealth by citrus tree spread across the large gardens of Europe. Plants in the colder regions of Northern Europe needed winter protection, so vast orangeries were built to house them. To begin with, these were fairly basic, often temporary structures with fires lit inside to keep temperatures above freezing but as fortunes, estates and ambitions prospered, vast classical buildings were designed. Most had solid back walls and roofs but large glass doors arranged along the southfacing side. More sophisticated heating from hot pipes was installed. There is a lovely working orangery at the National Trust’s Saltram House near Plymouth.

In our own domestic way we follow the same pattern of putting citrus trees outdoors for summer and bringing them inside for winter (do this now, if you haven’t already). These are capricious plants demanding more care than most if they are to thrive. Keeping them alive is not a problem because they are pretty tough but maintaining a healthy plant with glossy aromatic leaves, fragrant blossom and fruits is not that easy to achieve. The biggest stumbling block lies in finding a position where your citrus will prosper. They need more than just frost free conditions if they are to stay active and fruitful in winter. A frost free greenhouse where temperatures often plummet to 3 C/38 F is a bit chilly and tends to make them go dormant, stop using plant food and drop fruit. However most house rooms are too warm and dingy for them and they are not happy there either. A conservatory heated to 7-12 C/45-53 F or a cool, bright room with temperatures under 15 C/60 F are probably the best

A

choices.

The next challenge lies in remembering to feed your plant regularly with special citrus fertiliser or a well balanced liquid feed. Other sorts of plant can tolerate underfeeding without letting you down too much but citrus leaves turn an ugly yellow so the whole world sees how mean and neglectful you are. They also much prefer rain water to tap.

Prune plants in late winter if they become leggy or when you can (in between

Maintaining a healthy plant with glossy aromatic leaves, fragrant blossom and fruits is not that easy to achieve

cropping) and either top dress or repot every other year using three parts John Innes no 2 and 1 part grit. Inspect regularly for pests like mealy bug, spider mite and scale insects whose presence is often highlighted by sticky and sooty leaf surfaces.

These pests secrete honeydew, on which sooty mould feeds. If you spot pests, treat immediately with soft soap solution or other insecticides which enables you to continue harvesting fruit.

There are lots of good varieties, including seedless ‘Salustiana’ oranges, ‘Verna’ lemon, ‘Tahini’

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This week’s gardening tips Anne’s advice for your garden

lime and tasty bartenders or key lime.

Before you become too ambitious with your citrus, remember the sad story of Nicolas Fouquet, Financial Secretary to Louis XIV. While Versailles was still more or less still a hunting lodge, Fouquet amassed great wealth and built an extremely grand chateau at Vaux-le-Vicomte between Paris and Fontainbleau. Leading lights of the design world were involved, including garden designer Andre Le Notre. The result was

fabulous and Fouquet threw a massive party to celebrate and to honour the king. Sadly, instead of being impressed, the king was bitterly jealous and had Fouquet arrested for financial irregularities. Louis XIV went on to use the same artists for Versailles and stripped Vaux-le-Vicomte of many treasures including, some say, as many as 1,000 orange trees. Fortunately (for the gardeners, at least) various machines were invented, using struts, ropes and pulleys to lift the trees.

• Try mound layering plants like thymes and heathers. Choose a leggy plant and heap a gritty compost around its base and middle, so only the shoot tips are poking out. By next autumn, these stems should have rooted out, making new plants to cut away and plant separately.

• Prune greenhouse (and outdoor) grapevines by

cutting long side shoots back to within a couple of buds of the spurs on older stems.

It’s best to do this as soon as they go dormant, as they tend to bleed later on.

• Start to lift, trim (both roots and cut the foliage of just above the root), pot and force witloof chicory roots. Kept cool and dark, they’ll sprout tender chicons.

Question time with Anne West reader queries answered by Anne Swithinbank I have a photinia ‘Red Robin’ which looks lovely in spring when the new reddish pink growth comes out but the leaves now have spots on them.

I’ve grown some tarragon which appears to have done well and spread into a good colony but why don’t the leaves have the same smell or flavour I was expecting?

Photinia leaf spot is quite common but considered to be a physiological problem rather than one caused by a leaf spotting fungal attack. The ugly purplish blotches usually arise after a cold, wet winter or the plant having been blasted by cold winds. Careful siting at the outset to make sure plants have a reasonably sheltered spot will help. There’s not a lot to be done now but treat yout plant to a slow release feed in spring and mulch over the root. If leaves fall, prune to below the bare stems and healthy new growth should soon appear.

Tarragon usually dies back for winter, so it is only thanks to the mild weather there is still some leaf showing. Herbs often lose some of their aroma and flavour during the winter months because they rely on the hot sunshine to warm up the oils in their leaves. What is more likely is that you’ve unwittingly planted Russian tarragon instead of the French. The Russian kind is tougher and more vigorous but sadly not a patch on its French cousin for that unique flavour. The French sort can be miffy, so I tend to keep some in a pot and bring it under glass during winter.

Q

Q

Send your questions to Anne at westmag@ westernmorningnews.co.uk

Move potted bay trees under cover or into a sheltered spot in cold, exposed gardens.

Ventilate greenhouses when ever possible and remove any rotting leaves from plants. Make sure plants don’t touch, as grey mould (botrytis) easily spreads. It is better to keep one healthy leaf than three mouldy ones.

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02/12/2014 16:15:21

Real Homes

Cool luxe

Kathryn Clarke-McLeod looks at how a sumptuous seaside apartment overlooking Carbis Bay has been furnished to give guests a touch of luxury beside the beach

n my family, the phrase self-catering apartment is synonymous with mismatched sofas, taking your own bedding and towels, and dealing with a certain amount of beach sand left behind by the last jolly sunburnt lot.

It is fair to say that The Four Seasons self-catering apartments above Carbis Bay near St Ives turn such ideas completely on their head. Here owners Kelly and Jon Simpson have created five star hotel level luxury with a relaxed vibe.

This décor is all about cool colours, pale blues, pale stone and white, which reflect the wide sands, sea and sky outside. But the furnishings are deliberately sleek, with twinkling chandeliers and satin taffeta bedspreads “Gone are the days of filling your property with all your secondhand pieces and hoping that a great location and view alone will enchant those that appreciate the finer things in life,” says Kelly.

A wide-eyed tour of number seven Four Seasons reveals three glistening chandeliers in the open plan living area alone, a 55 inch 3D smart TV positioned in view of an expansive and soft handcrafted L-shaped sofa, and a floor to ceiling glasses cabinet, with elegant hand-blown glasses.

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Interiors

STYLE TIP: Combine colours of cool blue,

grey and pale stone with twinkling chandeliers for a touch of sleek glamour

[[ The beautiful dinner table has been chosen to seat ten people comfortably and the balcony has wonderful views of Carbis Bay and St Ives

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Interiors Owner Kelly recommends a muted palette for a holiday rental property

The beautiful dinner table has been chosen so that it seats ten comfortably, and the kitchen is equipped with a Smeg fridge, a Nespresso machine, Delonghi appliances and Japanese knives.

Greys, fawns and mink tones mingle throughout the property while touches of mirror, crystal and gilded surfaces add to the sense of luxury that permeates every inch of the property.

Kelly recommends keeping your palette fairly muted when creating accommodation to rent out to visitors.

“Sometimes the things you love, like a red feature wall, simply aren’t going to be to everyone’s tastes,” she says. “Keep it neutral, and remember that well-selected good quality pieces will have enough presence to elevate a space.”

These sort of properties are an increasingly popular way to put your money to work, a trend no doubt sparked by the rising trend of the ‘staycation’.

“Having a place on the coast that is just a few hours away, yet is finished to a standard that lets you or those renting from you feel light years from the day to day is a fantastic investment,” says Kelly. “There are a lot of run-of-the mill properties to rent, but keeping your aesthetic standards high means that you will be in a great position to cater to people who are taking a break for a special occasion.”

Investing in good beds is another essential on Kelly’s list. “I have had wonderful feedback about our Tempur beds. They cost over £3,000 each but

[[ The kitchen is equipped with a SMEG fridge, Nespresso machine, Delonghi appliances and Japanese knives

I strongly advise new owners to put their money into them as people always remember if they have had a good night’s sleep.”

Elements like welcome baskets, complimentary toiletries and a stocked fridge must also be considered when aiming high. The women in my party let out near simultaneous squeals of delight when they found the REN cosmetics welcome packs in the bathrooms. The hamper on the kitchen island contained local preserves and honey, a bottle of wine and caramel and seasalt chocolate that carried the Cornish Luxury Holidays branding.

“Touches like this are so important,” says Kelly. “Everybody likes to feel spoilt and the flip side is that when they put a snap of their delightful welcome basket on Instagram, up goes your

branding with it!” Even the baby in the group was spoilt with a thoughtful gift bag in her cot.

‘They’ve thought of everything!’ is the phrase Kelly wants her guests to repeat throughout their weekend. From milk and eggs in the fridge when we arrived to the binoculars by the large folding doors to watch boats sail past and the soft slippers on the beds, our every whim was anticipated and catered for.

“Looking after these types of properties is very demanding, which is why a lot of people choose to have them managed,” says Kelly. “Jon and I are unique in that we build, sell, manage and market holiday properties.”

Number 7, Four Seasons Apartments is available to book via www.cornishluxuryholidays.com

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02/12/2014 17:03:16

Shopping

GET THE

Chandelier £180 Laura Ashley

LOOK

Cool background colours combine with sleek and shiny detailing for modern luxury

Glasses £30 for two The White Company

Armoire £1,081.50 Sweet Pea & Willow

Chandelier £1,045.50 Sweet Pea & Willow Cushion and throw £158 The French Bedroom Company

Cream wooden lap tray £40 Laura Ashley

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02/12/2014 17:04:36

Beauty

Tried

& tested

We present the beauty treats and cheats of the week, all trialled by West magazine’s Catherine Barnes, with help from daughter Tilly, 17.

Scents of the past: Soir de Paris was created by Bourjois in 1929 and has been relaunched for modern belles. It has fruity topnotes with a floral heart £25 for 50ml at www.iwmshop.org.uk

fave!

Beautiful and

Bold...

Put yourself centre stage with bareMinerals Main Attraction makeup kit (£49): This look (above and right) takes under an hour to complete. www.bareminerals.co.uk 30

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the review This week we try:

Eyelash Extensions

Retro lips Vaseline’s trusted winner it comes to soothing and reviving chapped lips and this vintage-style set contains three individual balms. £6.50 at Tesco

Goodies Nutmeg and Sage’s gorgeous eco-friendly products are suitable for all skin types and we love this Hedgerow Beauty gift box of organic goodies. £57 at www.nutmegandsage.co.uk

GIFT ALERT! Get your nails coated- you’ve pulled!

These crackers are perfect for a festive girl’s night. Christmas cracker nail set £14.99 www.madbeauty.com

Fuller, longer lashes, 24/7, for weeks on end? All from a single, painless and inexpensive treatment? Sign me up says Kathryn Clarke-Mcleod he very first person I ever encounI did 48 hours earlier) and even includes a nifty tered with eyelash extensions was illustration of the eye area, so that I can draw a very with-it 60-something year my dream lashes to be used as a guide if needed. old called Wendy, who worked with Alternatively, I can choose between a range of me on a women’s magazine. Wendy tick boxes that include ‘thicker’ ‘longer’ and had found that her eyelashes had become thin‘natural’. Solsa use market leaders Lash Perfect ner with age, and she kept getting pesky things eyelash extensions, which are individual synin her eyes. Her daughter dragged her off to her thetic lashes that are applied directly onto your local London salon. She emerged not only with natural eyelashes. They are available in a range well-protected corneas, but also looking utterly of lengths, thicknesses and curvatures. The bewitching - and about ten years younger. promise is that, applied correctly, these will feel This simple treatment, which involves noth- exactly like your own. ing more than lying quietly on your back for I choose ‘everyday drama’. Fuller, longer and 90 minutes, has the power to completely trans- a bit of a flirty sweep at the outer corners. I lie form your appearance, and down on a comfy treatment bed, I’ve decided to take the plunge and Laura applies a cool protecfor party season. tive pad to my under eye area.

You can shower, My therapist, Laura GavaMoments later I feel a gentle swim and even ghan of Solsa Nails and rustling amongst my lashes, Beauty in Newton Abbot, very soothing. Thirty minutes get caught in has been doing lashes in the go by and I’ve not felt a single driving winter South Devon area for the tug or poke. “Is this it?” I ask. rain and emerge past four years. Her busiIt is. ness partner Ginny, has been Towards the end of the 75 minmovie-star at it for six years. Both were utes I feel Laura softly brushing perfect amongst the first in the South my new lashes, and my senses West to offer the treatment. immediately pick up just how So I am in good hands. “Most long a sweep it takes her to cover of our clients are regulars,” she tells me their full length. I’m excited. on the phone before our appointment.

Minutes later I open my eyes. I’m blown away.

“Once you have them on, you get hooked.”

For a girl who has had scant lashes all her life, It’s easy to see why. They’re waterproof, so you the transformation is unbelievable. My long can shower, swim and even get caught in driving dark lashes sweep up and out, framing my eyes winter rain and emerge movie-star perfect. They and changing my entire face. I feel pretty. last for weeks, are completely undetectable, and “A lot of women try fillers and surgery,” says are perfect from the second you open your eyes.

Ginny when I pop in to show her. “But look When I arrive at Solsa, a gorgeous treatment what a difference these can make.” My lashes sanctuary with a boutique feel, I am given a will last up to four weeks. If I want to extend consultation form to fill in. This covers every- this I can have top ups every 2-3 weeks. These thing from any allergies, to the details of my are available in increments of 15 minutes and patch test (which start at just £10.

T

75 minutes later

The first lashes are applied

West readers save 20%

Eyelash extensions cost £50 for a full set. Save 20% in January by quoting ‘West’ when booking.

Solsa 6 St Pauls Road, Newton Abbot, Devon 01626 336 583 www.solsa.co.uk 31

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03/12/2014 11:52:16

Wellbeing

Calm it down...

High blood pressure may be a very common problem, but there’s plenty we can do about it, says Abi Jackson. Keep your finger on the pulse and read on... ne in three UK adults has high blood pressure, and the condition is costing the NHS more than £2 billion a year, new Public Health England (PHE) figures reveal.

Linked with stroke, heart disease, vascular dementia and chronic kidney disease, high blood pressure is a major cause of premature death and disability. But it’s estimated that around five million people aren’t even aware that they have it, so regular blood pressure checks are vital.

The condition can sometimes be caused by other illnesses or certain medications and can run in families, but it can be prevented - and even reversed - with lifestyle tweaks. Here’s how:

O

Watch your salt intake

DODGER

Salt makes the body store extra water which causes raised blood pressure, but cutting excess salt has a significant impact on health outcomes, reducing strokes by around 22% and heart attacks by 16%. Many of us, however, are eating too much of the white stuff - often without realising it.

How about using herbs, spices and pepper to add flavour instead? And be label savvy white bread and breakfast cereals are known high-salt culprits, as are processed foods like bacon, as well as ready-meals and pre-prepared sauces. Steer clear of foods which contain more than 1.5g of salt per 100g (or 0.6g sodium).

THE SOFA

Go easy on the booze Men who drink more than eight units of alcohol a day are four times more likely to develop high blood pressure, while women who consume more than six units daily are twice as likely. Sticking to the recommended daily limits - two to three units for women and three to four units for men (one 175ml glass of wine/pint of beer = 2.3 units), will reduce your risk.

Be more active The charity Blood Pressure UK (www.bloodpressureuk.org) says it’s aerobic exercise - not pumping iron in the gym - that really counts. Engage those big muscle groups, get moving and pump oxygen around your body. Jogging, dancing, cycling, swimming and aerobics classes are all great examples – but walking or doing the gardening also count. Blood Pressure UK recommends at least 30 minutes’ activity a day, but if your blood pressure is relatively high, consult your doctor or nurse first.

Improve your diet We all know about the all-important five-a-day.

As well as helping prevent certain cancers, a diet rich in fruit and veg can help with blood pressure. Firstly, fruit and veg are often high in potassium, which plays a key role by balancing out the effects of salt. Eating healthily can also help you maintain a healthy weight (or lose excess weight if you need to), which can prevent high blood pressure.

THE KEEP FIT COLUMN WHERE ONE WOMAN TRIES EVERYTHING:

this week: PILATES Wanna-be fitness fanatic Sam Taylor, 35, lives in Cardinham near Bodmin and runs the Sofa Dodger website (www.sofadodger.co.uk). This week she tries Pilates I have a friend who is a Pilates instructor and she has a bottom which looks like it belongs to an 18 year old (her bottom’s actual age is nearly 25 years older than that). I therefore have high hopes for Pilates. I joined Dianne at FunFit Fitness in Liskeard for a session. After slow, considered movements warming up, we moved on to other postures and movements, while mindful of our stance and

breathing. Dianne told me that Pilates would be excellent for strengthening my lower back.

Most movements were more than achievable and the more difficult ones were always preempted by a class full of groans, which I found very amusing. She then told us to think about our toes. It sounds strange but I immediately felt my shoulders un-tense as I refocused my thoughts.

GET INVOLVED: Try something new or tell the world about your own keep fit class for free at www.sofadodger.co.uk 32

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02/12/2014 16:44:35

Bake

Kate Shirazi bakes:

Liberty Florentines Kate says: I’ve taken liberties with this recipe! Traditionally, Florentines contain almonds (yum), raisins (yum), cherries (yum) and mixed peel (yuck). I can’t make something with an ingredient that makes me want to wipe my tongue, so changes had to be made. And then I got all carried away and tropical… They make great Christmas presents, by the way.

NEW!

cake of the week

You will need: Makes 18-20 100 g/31⁄2 oz/2⁄3 cup flaked (slivered) almonds 25 g/1 oz/1⁄4 cup crystallized (candied) papaya 25 g/1 oz/1⁄4 cup crystallized (candied) pineapple 25 g/1 oz/1⁄4 cup crystallized (candied) ginger 25 g/1 oz/1⁄4 cup glacé (candied) cherries

90 g/31⁄4 oz/generous 3⁄4 stick butter 100 g/31⁄2 oz/1⁄2 cup caster (superfine) sugar 50 g/2 oz/1⁄4 cup plain (all-purpose) flour 1 tbsp double (heavy) cream 200 g/7 oz/7 squares chocolate, according to preference

Method: 1.

Line three baking sheets with washable silicone liners or good-quality greaseproof (waxed) paper. Preheat the oven to 180˚C/350˚F/Gas Mark 4.

2.

Roughly chop the almonds and the fruit.

Melt the butter and the sugar over a low heat in a heavy-based pan. Turn up the heat and boil vigorously for 1 minute, stirring now and then. Remove from the heat and cool. Stir in the flour, then the cream, followed by the chopped fruit and nuts. Stir to combine.

3.

Take small teaspoonfuls of the mixture and plop onto the baking sheets, leaving plenty of space between them. (I tell you, these babies spread.) Bake for 10 minutes, or until golden brown.

4.

Remove from the oven. If you don’t like the shape, take a spatula and push the sides around the Florentine to neaten. Leave alone on the tray for about 5 minutes to start firming up, then lift onto a wire rack to cool completely.

5.

Melt your chocolate according to your preferred method, then leave to cool for about 10 minutes. Just as it is starting to thicken and is less runny, take a palette knife and spread the base of the Florentines with the chocolate, then place back onto the baking sheet to set, with the chocolate side up.

Kate Shirazi runs Cakeadoodledo shop and cafe on Exeter’s Cathedral Green (www.cakedoodledo.co.uk) and bakes cakes of all kinds to order and send by post. Look out for Kate’s beautiful books Cake Magic and Baking Magic (both £11.99, Pavilion Books) 33

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02/12/2014 16:45:00

Fashion

Frill seeker The Christmas gifts you won’t take back here’s nothing worse than scratchy Christmas lingerie that doesn’t fit and leaves you feeling more trussed-up than the turkey you’re battling to get in the oven. So why not waft these pages gently under your other half’s nose this weekend? Flirty, sexy but comfortable and classy, these are the undies you’ll love to find under the Christmas tree. After all, if it’s good enough for Tavistock’s Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, it’s good enough for us.

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Boux Avenue £9

Marks & Spencer Rosie for Autograph Pure silk floral lace nightdress £89

Marisota £39

BHS £25

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Lipsy £32

Lipsy £32

Debenhams Janet Reger £28

New Look Kelly Brook £19.99

Ma rks & Sp en cer Ro sie for Au tog rap h Silk ted dy £59

BHS £20

New Look Kelly Brook bra £16.99 briefs £7.99

Tu at Sainsbury’s £10

Lipsy £65

New Look £12

Boux Avenue £30 35

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02/12/2014 17:51:48

Shop

The edit Your straight line to style. Our pick of the best boots and hats to wear with your fave knit

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Cuckooland Furry hat £45

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Simply Be Bobble hat £10

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People Tree Stripy knit hat £25

fave!

H&M Sweater £34.99

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White Stuff Ankle boots £85

Mint Velvet Cardigan £89

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Dune Wedge boots £119

Wallis Tunic £38

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Rocket Dog Boots £34.99

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02/12/2014 15:50:35

Enjoy

A WEEKEND IN...

Dartmouth

Fancy a break away? Olivier Vergnault plans a visit to an historic sea port on South Devon’s largest river

beautifully quaint historic harbour with plenty of links to Britain’s rich naval history, Dartmouth is where the Queen and Prince Philip met for the first time all those years ago, It is also is paradise for foodies - and seafood lovers in particular. Home to plenty of independent shops, it is the perfect place to watch the river and enjoy life at a gentle pace. Dartmouth changes throughout the seasons from quiet to bustling with the influx of tourists in the summer and the world famous annual regatta. But right now Dartmouth is the perfect place to sample local food and relax.

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Where to stay: The Royal Castle Hotel overlooks the small harbour. All rooms are individually decorated and offer plenty of modern luxury in this historic and charming hotel. The service is impeccable and the food as locally sourced as you can get. Right now the hotel has rooms ranging from £100 to £235. During your stay you will no doubt become acquainted with owners Nigel Way, ‘Mr Dartmouth’ and hotelier ex-

Dartmouth Castle

Mitch Tonks Greenway House

traordinaire, visit www.royalcastle.co.uk What to do: Dartmouth Castle is a medieval and Elizabethan fortress with cannons aplenty and that perfect view over the mouth of the

river Dart. Why not take a boat trip up river to Dittisham or Totnes at high tide, and get off at Greenway, the former family home of Dame Agatha Christie. Dartmouth Museum will give you an insight into the past of this glorious town and its links to the sea. For those interested in the industrial revolution, don’t forget to have a look at Thomas Newcomen’s atmospheric steam engine, the forefather to the steam engine which revolutionised our world 200 years ago.

Where to shop: Stop by the Dartmouth Wine Company for a single malt or that essential bottle of Bourgueil, move further on a tiny bit and turn right into Foss Street where there are dozens of quirky indie shops. Come back onto the main road via the Old Market where there are cafes, restaurants and shops to enjoy.

Where to eat: Rockfish on the Embankment is part of local chef Mitch Tonks’ portfolio of eateries. It is a great fish and sea food place with a cosy friendly atmosphere and wonderful views across the river to Kingswear. Three doors down is Mitch’s fine dining restaurant The Seahorse, which is truly excellent. For a swift pint by the fire with no river in sight but a great atmosphere visit The Cherub, a pub dating back to the 14th century.

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02/12/2014 15:51:25

Emma Mansfield

MAIN IMAGE: JAMES RAM

Exeter Cathedral

My Secret Westcountry

Emma Mansfield Emma Mansfield was The Eden Project’s first creative producer and is the writer behind the Little Books series, with titles including The Little Book of Cornwall, and The Little Book of the Pasty. Emma lives in Bodmin, Cornwall.

My favourite...

Pub: The Crown in Penzance. I love it because it’s so unusual, like a pub-in-a-house on a back street near the town centre.

Drive: I love being a passenger on the coast road from Land’s End to St Ives through Morvah and past the Gunards Head; the view is amazing – timeless, ancient and breathtaking.

Walk: Around the estuary villages of Noss Mayo and Newton Ferrers in South Devon and then out onto the South West Coast Path.

Beach: North Cornwall’s Camel Estuary in all weathers. Surf beaches at Perranporth, Croyde, Widemouth Bay. I could go on...

Sam’s On The Beach, Polkerris

Restaurant: Sam’s On The Beach at Polker-

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People Belly boarding

Venue: I love seeing Exeter Cathedral by night

Camel Valley wine

and all the lovely restaurants in the area, especially when the Cathedral Green comes alive in the summer with everyone sitting outside.

Live act: Hit Pinch, a Cornish covers band,

H it P in c

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ris near St Austell and River Cottage Canteen at Royal William Yard. We’re lucky to have so many great places to eat, with great views, in Devon, Cornwall and Dorset.

Events: I love July’s Port Eliot Festival and The World Bellyboarding Championships held at Chapel Porth in September and not to mention Bugle village’s brass band festival in June.

Treat: Hearing the Truro Cathedral choir sing The Lamb by Sir John Tavener. It was truly wonderful. Seeing The Fisherman’s Friends sing shanties live on the shore at Port Isaac is something that every Westcountry resident, or visitor, should experience, too.

who yes, you’ve guessed it, pinch hits and give them a rocky twist. They have an amazing lead vocalist. And Wildwood Kin is a wonderful upand-coming folk group from near Exeter; three young women with amazing harmonies and spirit – they’re something special.

Food: Sausages made by Charlie Williams at Tywardreath Butchers in a sandwich for lunch, Cornish pasties will never be beaten as a hangover cure. And a traditional cream tea to refuel, after a day out. So what if it’s not one of our five a day? Just so long as we don’t have five a day!

Tipple: Wine - Camel Valley sparkles and St Austell Brewery’s Korev Cornish lager.

Day out: A walk from Mount Edgecumbe, grabbing the most delicious coffee from Harding & Scoots mobile coffee booth, a ferry over to Plymouth, swim at Tinside Lido, a mooch around the city, supper at Wagamamas at the Royal William Yard, then Jelly Jazz at the Quay Club or the last ferry back!

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[

eating out

Bistrot Pierre

By Olivier Vergnault

hen it comes to food and drink, that’s when I miss home. Barbecueing Toulouse sausage on a scorchingly hot summer’s day. Drinking cool rosé in the shade of the terrace.

Warming up in a bistro empty of its usual tourist crowds with a cassoulet, gently grilled on top, done the Carcassonne way in an earthenware cassolette, a glass of house red to wash it down.

When you live in a country that is not your own, there are certain things you miss. Me, it’s food and wine. And hot summers.

There are many French restaurants in the Westcountry and some of them are really good.

However I once dined at a restaurant owned by an Englishman married to a Chinese woman doing specialities from the foothills of Provence.

It certainly was... different.

I therefore did my research when I learned that a Bistrot Pierre restaurant was opening in Torquay. Was it a French restaurant owned and run by a French chef or a French-themed English food chain. It is the latter. But all (French) arrogance aside, it was really good.

Both service and food were excellent and the view across Torquay marina and the wider Tor Bay were glorious. The lights shimmered on the rippling water into the dark of the night. The

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wind zinged through the moored boats and flags At first I thought it was too much. It was trying fluttered and whipped in the strong breeze. too hard to be something I did not recognise from This restaurant opened a few months ago, even back home. More French than French. And then though the new hotel and penthouse complex I spotted the shiny 1970s zinc metal ceiling over on the site of the former Palm Court Hotel, on the bar and I nearly cried. This is the look of the Torquay seafront, is still going up. It is no fault of French bistros I have known all my life. I rememthe restaurant but when I arrived there were so ber those. The little ‘troquet du quartier’, ‘le café many traffic cones around the site that I was not du coin’. Le bistro! sure whether it truly was open My wife and I settled at our or out of bounds to the public. table on the first floor. We ordered Developers want the new orange juices for our twins (£2.35), building to become Torbay’s top a glass - which soon became two Fellow diners new address to shop, eat and live.

- of Bolée d’Armorique Cidre I can’t comment on the shopping Breton (£3.50) for my Somersettried their best experience as yet, nor can I say born better half and a rather ‘Allo ‘Allo acmuch about the penthouse flats lovely Syrah, cave de Saint Décents on the ‘plabecause I don’t have £1 million sirat from the Ardèche region of to spare. But I can tell you about France (£5.25 a glass), for me. teau de fromage’ the food at Bistrot Pierre.

I wanted something deep and or ‘boissons It is over-the-top French, rich to marry well with the boeuf almost to the point of distracbourgignon I had my eyes on. And pour finir’ tion. The menu is entirely in it did - to the point I should have French, which is fine by me as bought the whole bottle rather it provided a few chuckles when than so many individual glasses. fellow diners tried their best It would have been cheaper.

‘Allo ‘Allo French on the ‘plateau de fromage’ After our amuse-gueule (appetisers) of marior the ‘boissons pour finir’. The decor is French. nated olives (£2.95) and saucisson (dry cured Everything, from the vintage posters, to signs for sausage) (£3.50) which the kids devoured in no the ‘cuisine’ and the ‘toilettes’ is in French. I have time, we happily tucked into a poulet aux truffes never seen so many vintage film and tourism (chicken with truffles) (£13.50) for the Boss and posters about the Moulin Rouge, la Poste or the the most classically French dish you could ever various regions of my homeland. order, boeuf bourguignon maison for yours truly

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4 of the best

Westcountry gastropubs The Cherub Inn

1 Rugglestone Inn, Widecombe in the Moor, Dartmoor

This Dartmoor pub is a gem of a place serving home cooked classics along with local ales and cider. Its garden is the best spot in the house on a summer’s day.

Dish of the day: Beef and stilton pie with chips Price: Main around £12 Contact: 01364 621327 www.rugglestoneinn.co.uk

2 The Cherub, Dartmouth

(£13.50). Both were delicious and proportions more than sufficient. The scent of the beef took me back years to the days when my grandmother used to make this dish. It was lovely and the red wine married so well with its richness.

The children’s pasta was far too generous a portion for them to eat it all up.

I hate wasting food. This is one of the few things I would criticise. Keep your children’s portions down. Either that or next time, we’ll just order one dish for two. And yet they were happy with their helpings of ice cream and managed to eat them all. The warm chocolate macaroons (£5.25) and gâteau au miel (honey cake) (£4.95) were very good too.

I’d say Bistrot Pierre is assured a long future in Torquay where it sits a stone’s throw from the

This cosy and very quaint pub (pictured) is in Dartmouth town centre. It has high back settles and a roaring fire, great food and good local beers.

Dish of the day: Bowl of fresh local mussels in white wine sauce Price: Mains around £13 Contact: 01803 832571 – www.thecherub.co.uk

3 The Admiral Benbow, Penzance

Princess Theatre, with some of the best views in the Westcountry across the Bay. I can’t wait for summer to eat on the glass-fronted outdoor terrace. Hopefully it will be authentically French warm weather at least some of the time.

Bistrot Pierre, Abbey Crescent, Torbay Rd, Torquay 01803 221213

A fantastically kitch over the top pirate’s pub with everything you need to feel like a scourge of the sea and go arrh!

Dish of the day: Local Cumberland sausage ring with mash Price: Mains around £10 Contact: 01736 363448

4 Crumplehorn Inn and Mill, Polperro

How they scored...

Food



Atmosphere



Service



Price

Dinner for two adults and two children, £83

A traditional pub with a great atmosphere and friendly helpful staff who will advise you on the catch of the day and local ale.

Dish of the day: Herb crusted grilled salmon.

Price: Mains around £11 Contact: 01503 272348 www. crumplehorn-inn.co.uk

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02/12/2014 16:36:13

Ingredient of the Week

Thrift

with Tim Maddams t’s nearly that most wonderful time of year. Yes, Christmas will soon be here. A time for feasting, celebrating and maybe the odd tipple. I just wanted to get this off my chest before we get too close the big day and I get accused of ‘humbugging’. Please, think about how much food you actually need to buy.

Every year, year in year out, there is a peak in the amount of domestic food waste and that peak comes at Christmas. I don’t know if it’s the unbelievable bargains on offer in the shops, the BOGOFs and the 25-for-the-price-of-one worldbeating offers that do it - but it’s a fact. Most people buy far too much food for Christmas.

And as a result much of it will be wasted.

We no longer need to stock up the cupboards for the week. Let’s face it - the shops will be shut for all of around five minutes. I have a better idea anyway, a real humdinger. Just buy

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what you need and save any leftovers to make another meal.

I know, I know, it’s Christmas! But do you really need four different types of ham? Or, dare I say it, 100 frozen prawns arranged in a ring?

Buy what you like but don’t buy more than you need. Or more than you can reasonably store in the freezer for a later date. The fact is that simply cooking some nice stuff will result in endless opportunities for you to get creative in the kitchen.

Right, so the reason for this rant? Well, wasting food is one of the world’s biggest problems.

More people die every week of hunger in the world than have died of the ebola outbreak since it first began. I inow it’s not deliberate - I for one have had a net of mixed nuts in the cupboard for a whole year. I’m hoping they will be ok for this Christmas. And if the ethical arguments against food waste don’t sway you, look at

Leftovers

If you do end up with too much, there are very few things that won’t make a tasty dish around Christmas time.

Frying off some leftover stuffing and greens with a little garlic and adding a couple of eggs makes an excellent Boxing Day breakfast.

Christmas pudding fritters with ice cream are simply better than the original pudding was in the first place.

And the stock from even a small freerange turkey will keep you in soup for a week without any trouble. @TimGreenSauce

Tim Maddams is a Devon chef and writer who often appears on the River Cottage TV series 42

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02/12/2014 16:03:20

Drink Pumpclips: powerful incentives to choose your next beer?

Darren Norbury Beer of the week Exmoor: Beast (6.6%) Now the weather’s chillier, it really is Beast time. This dark, strong ale – very porterish in style – is a Westcountry favourite, not necessarily one for pint glasses, though. Expect luscious strata of Christmas cake fruit, coffee and sweet treacle malt flavours.

red nose day Among the festive favourites making a return this December is Wiveliscombe-based Cotleigh Brewery’s Red Nose Reinbeer (4.5%).

In cask and bottles, it leans towards a sweet, malt flavour with some nutty notes.

talks beer ellow beer drinkers, how many times have you been guilty of this: you walk into a strange pub or bar, survey the handpulls and realise you don’t know anything about any of the beers that are on. But you’re there anyway, and you’re going to have a beer so… you plump for the pumpclip that attracts you most.

I have done this in the past, especially in the absence of any advice from behind the bar. But, of course, this is an action that makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. I can confidently say that I’ve had some very poor beers that were being marketed with beautiful pumpclips and vice versa (which is a better outcome).

I do some marketing work for a brewery in Redruth. The brewer and I have a long-running disagreement over my preference for professionally produced, modern, sunrays and engine house graphic over the home-made artwork he puts together using quirky illustrations and photos. The fact is, though, a lot of pubs in the North West, where his beers are very popular, prefer the quirky clips. So much for my branding input.

The pumpclip came to the front of my mind with news that, from this month, new legislation comes into force meaning that allergen information needs to be placed on beer bottles and casks

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and kegs. Wheat, rye, barley, oats, spelt and kamut grains have to be flagged up if they are in beers (or any foodstuff for that matter). The pumpclip is the obvious place for this information but bar staff will have to quote the allergens too (be interesting to see how that works!).

But then this poses the question of what other information should be placed on pumpclips. Calories, for instance, alcohol units or, for the beer geeks out there, international bitterness units?

I’m of the opinion that all you really need to know about a beer from a pumpclip is its strength and its style. As far as allergens go, gluten is a common allergen or intolerance these days, and it’s present in wheat, barley and rye, which are all beer ingredients. Fortunately, there are some very well made gluten-free beers on the market these days, such as Hop Back Brewery’s Crop Circle and Wold Top’s Against the Grain.

Hopefully our pumpclips won’t get too spoiled by extra details. They can be mini works of art, and there are plenty of great beers which have great pumpclips, a few of which are on this page. They’re not the be-all and end-all of a good drinking experience, but they can make it that little bit better.

Darren Norbury is editor of beertoday.co.uk @beertoday

ONES TO WATCH Several Westcountry brewers will be represented when the Society of Independent Brewers (SIBA) stages its BeerX show in Sheffield from March 17-21. This national event showcases SIBA’s regional award winners and is a major public beer festival as well as a trade event.

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02/12/2014 16:04:16

Living

MOTORS

How fab is Fabia?

The smallest Skoda has been thoroughly refreshed for 2014 - so do the improved quality and new technology really add to its good value, asks Matt Joy? his third-generation Fabia is, to all extents, as good as brand-new from top to bottom. The exterior is redesigned there’s a stack of European rules-compliant engines to choose from and revised suspension front and rear. It’s a fraction longer and significantly wider than the previous version but also lighter by an average of around 65kg.

On the inside the Fabia gets a new interior, with a more upmarket dashboard and improved equipment. This generation of Fabia also, wisely, abandons the option of built-in sat-nav and goes for the modern alternative of smartphone ‘mirroring’ to give a variety of facilities via apps.

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By virtue of its size alone you may recognise the Fabia straight away, for although it’s a shade larger overall than before it still fits comfortably into the supermini category. It wears the same distinctive grille as the larger Octavia and the strong creases down the flanks help to give it a little more presence on the road.

Where the outgoing car could be described as cute and cuddly, this new Fabia is a little more grown-up in appearance rather than size. It feels classy and grown-up for a car in this class.

Modern supermini buyers demand ever more from their cars, so being small on the outside is no excuse for a lack of space on the inside. Up front the Fabia is impressively comfortable with plenty of head and leg room for driver and pas-

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gadget notebook 7 December 2014

TECH TIPS: Novelty Speakers Four ways to make your music more fun

The robot This dancing robot speaker will rock out in time with your music. £24.95 www.red5.co.uk senger; elbow room is improved too. In the rear it’s a bit tighter but there’s still room for adults to fit in. Boot space is an impressive 330 litres with the seats in place.

The first impression I had from the driver’s seat is the improvement in quality and design.

There’s a pleasingly chunky steering wheel to grasp (leather-covered on SE models and above) and the dashboard looks and feels of a higher quality than before.

The engine range includes four petrol and two diesel options, with the most popular expected to be the 74bhp 1.0-litre. It may be a relatively modest output but even with two adults and luggage on board it proves to be a keen and relatively refined unit, with sufficient power for most situations. It’s also capable of an impressive 58.8mpg combined and just 108g/km of CO2.

The Fabia drives with a smoothness that is impressive for a car in this class. The major controls have a reassuring slickness to them and the suspension copes well with road imperfections.

It’s fun to drive too, though the more brisk TSI engines are better for keen drivers.

The standard specification has received a useful boost across the range. The basic S model comes with Bluetooth connectivity, DAB radio, electric front windows and heated door mirrors, height and reach adjustable steering column and tyre pressure monitoring, while the SE model adds the essential aircon as well as alloy wheels, some leather trim and upgraded audio. The only downside - it’s a little more expensive than before.

With the entry-level model starting at £10,600 it’s a viable car for young first-time buyers, while there’s a high specification available for those with a little more to spend. The only slight nag is that it’s a little close to the in-house rival VW Polo, although the Fabia entry level model is £1,200 cheaper.

Skoda Fabia SE 1.0 MPI 75PS Engine: Price: Performance: Economy: Emissions:

1.0-litre petrol unit producing 74bhp and 70lb/ft of torque £10,600, this model £12,760 Top speed 107mph, 0-62mph in 14.7 seconds 58.8mpg combined 108g/km of CO2

Guitar hero Play it loud with a classic guitar amp inspired speaker £19.99 www.getting personal.co.uk.

What a hoot This snuggly plug-and play speaker is good for long journeys or bedtime stories. £28, www.next.co.uk

BEDTIME SNORY Drown out your bedfellow’s snores or listen to music or talking books in bed with this iMusic Pillow .£16.00, www.

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02/12/2014 17:45:23

My life

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man and boy

P.. p.. pick up a penguin?

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Phil Goodwin, James, aged four, and that John Lewis Christmas ad recently lost an hour of my life which I will never get back – because of John Lewis. As a family, we had missed the premiere of the retail giant’s much talked about Christmas TV advertisement, Monty the Penguin. Thanks to our recently installed Netflix channel we don’t watch much regular television now - apart from football, the news and Homeland, obviously.

Of course I was aware of the ad, but I had - so far - avoided its festive clutches by cannily guiding the boy away from the JL store on our way in and out of Exeter. Unfortunately, a lapse in concentration the other day left me standing outside in the rain watching the minifilm, which was showing as part of the store’s seasonal window dressing. Here James and I were marooned, gawping at the film, a plastic iceberg and a model penguin.

Now I like to think I remain a light-hearted and enthusiastic fellow, relatively free from the grumpy and curmudgeonly affectations common to middle age. I too once believed in Father Christmas and I vividly remember being too excited to sleep on Christmas Eve after being tipped off that the Raleigh Arena bike was in the bag.

In truth, the festive season is ten times the fun with a little boy to entertain. I will happily devote the Big Day to assembling the three big Lego sets I know Santa Claus will be bringing down the chimney. So how can you grumble about the Monty film? Viewers took to Twitter in tears – only liars would claim not to have cried at the film, they said.

Well, that makes me a liar. But I was touched, somewhat, and I genuinely enjoyed the cover of a rarely-heard John Lennon song as the backing track.

My own personal music

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choice, though, would have been Happy Christmas War is Over – I remember it so well from an emotional teenage party after the song went to Number 2 after Lennon’s death in 1980. Though perhaps the Vietnam War isn’t the best choice of theme for a festive TV ad. As I recall, the shockingly bad St Winifred’s School Choir single, There’s No One Quite Like Grandma pipped Lennon to the coveted Christmas Number 1 slot.

Anyway, the particular problem John Lewis

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“I wanna penguin, wanna penguin. Ple-ease…” And he’s not kidding, he really wants one, and is dragging his feet

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has posed me concerns pets. I have been fighting a rear-guard action against James getting one for quite some time. To this end, I have pointed out the hygiene habits of puppies, the problems of keeping kittens and (to my mind) the sheer madness of sharing a home with rabbits or any kind of rodents.

This line was quite fruitful as I tapped into his existing fear of babies, creatures he pretends to like publicly but secretly he is afraid they will “break his toys”. I bear no grudge against our furry or feathered friends – we had a spell wanting a parrot after a visit to the pet shop - I just don’t want to live with them. Also, we could end up stranded here in the summer or forking out a fortune on pet-sitting when we go on holiday.

Then, just as I thought I had seen off the problem, along comes cutesy Monty, super playmate to young boys and all-round good egg.

As I eventually managed to drag James away from the John Lewis fake ice, he starts tugging my arm: “I wanna penguin, wanna penguin.

Ple-ease…” And he’s not kidding, he really wants one, and is dragging his feet.

“You remember we went to see the penguins at Edinburgh Zoo?” I ask. He thinks. “What were they like?” I added.

“Stinky,” he tells me, laughing. And it really was. The enclosure was rank, like rotting fish.

“That’s what penguins smell like,” I told him.

“Stinky breath!”

And with that, the Monty myth was shattered and our friends from the North Pole joined the list of never-to-be pets.

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03/12/2014 15:43:33

Escape to the Coast Winter dinner, bed and breakfast breaks from £109 per couple, per night.

Call 0844 858 9185 quoting ‘West’ to book your stay.

www.stives-harbour-hotel.co.uk

Terms and Conditions: Valid until 31st March, excluding 13-20th February. Rates are based midweek stays in an inland room. Supplements apply for upgrading room types and weekend stays. Saturdays may require a 2 night stay. Dinner is an allowance of £25 per person in the restaurant. Rates are pre-paid rates and cancellations are non-refundable.

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03/12/2014 15:43:59

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03/12/2014 15:56:11

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