y e n n i McK
November/December 2008
home | health | beauty | fashion | art
Create Your Own
Gift Baskets
This Season
On the Cover
Darla Reed Joseph & Dr. Ralph Joseph Essence of Eve Day Med Spa
Residential Customer McKinney, TX
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McKinney Woman | November/December 2008
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Bond No. 9
Bond no.9: The Perfume Token features Bond’s most sought after eaux de parfum: $85. The Soapbox includes Chelsea Flowers, Chinatown, Eau de New York and The Scent of Peace: $95. A lone soap bar, available in the aforementioned and Nuits de Noho and Wall Street: $35. New York Bright Lights, To Go - The Voyager Candles: $95. All-Around-Town Pocket Sprays. Eight refillable pocket spray flacons: $130.
Bath Creams & Bon Bons
Sharla’s Bath Creams and Bon Bons are available in Citrus, Floral or Spice, in boxes of four, nine or twelve. Cupcakes are in seven different flavors. These handmade delicacies smell divine. This is the perfect gift for the bath lover on your list: $14 to $50.
Kai
No doubt, this unique Hawaiian White Flower fragrance will be on nearly everyone’s Dear Santa list. Body Buffers, Body Butter, Lotion, Shower Cream, Candles, Spray Glow, Perfume and Eau de Parfum complete the experience. Call early to avoid the endless wait list of last year! $33 to $72.
Nest
Nest! Remember the Holiday Candles in the beautiful red velvet boxes? They’re back, and better than ever. Laura Slatkin invited me to her Manhattan home this past summer to see and experience Nest, her new candela line. The moment I walked through the door, that familiar Holiday fragrance brought back wonderful memories of Christmas’ past: $12 and up.
Lady Primrose
Lady Primrose offers numerous choices in fragrances and beautiful packaging. Take advantage of complimentary engraving on silver and crystal containers until November 22: $12 to $595.
Editor’s
note
With the holidays just around the corner, it is time to start planning and preparing for your annual celebration. Because much of the celebration is centered around food, it may be a good time to discover new foods with new recipes. On page 8, read about signing up for a gourmet cooking class. Not only will you learn to make different dishes that will add variety to your weekly menu, but you will also have the opportunity learn new cooking skills as well as meet new friends. This may also provide you with the “me” time that is so difficult to find when you’re juggling the responsibility of your home, your kids and your career. If this is the year that you’ve vowed to stick to a budget and skirt the credit cards, then read about having a debt-free holiday on page 14. Setting a spending limit and drawing names are just several ways to avoid over-spending and ensuring that you start the new year without holiday debt. Finally, on page 16, we share Favorite Christmas Memories from several McKinney residents. From driving cross-country in the family Buick to visit grandma to being blessed with groceries and gifts during difficult times, our residents are proud to share their favorite memories. What fond memories do you have of past holidays and what are you doing today to create more memories? Happy Holidays!
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Vanessa Ximenez
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McKinney Woman | November/December 2008
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McKinney
Woman Contents
November/December 2008 Issue 15 8
14
20
28
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On the Cover Darla Reed Joseph and Dr. Ralph Joseph Cover Photo by: Michael Rivera www.michaellouisphotos.com
Publisher/Editor: Vanessa Ximenez publisher@northtexasmagazines.com
Art Director: Marlina Rahman
Features 6 Cover Story Darla Reed Joseph & Dr. Ralph Joseph Essence of Eve Day Med Spa 8 Five Reasons to take a Gourmet Cooking Class 10 Delightful Christmas Gift Baskets
Design and Create Your Own
marlina@northtexasmagazines.com
14 Debt Free Holidays
Photographer: Michael Rivera michael@michaellouisphotos.com
20 The Gift of Adoption 26 Friends of caregivers can Help
10 Tips to prevent burnout
28 Cinnamon Spice offers Health Benefits 30 ‘Til Kids Do Us Part
Contributing Writers: Deborah Anderson Jacqueline Bodnar Shaila Wray Gregoire Lisa M. Petsche Diane O’Neil Janet Vogel Martha Wegner
North Texas Magazines, Inc. 972.547.6261 www.northtexasmagazines.com
McKinney Woman Magazine is a product of North Texas Magazines, Inc. Copyright 2008, exclusive of proprietary ads and artwork designs. All rights reserved. No portion may be reproduced in whole or in part by any means without prior written permission from the publisher. Placement of advertising is not a personal endorsement by the publisher or its representatives, and no liability arising therefrom is assumed.
By jacqueline bodnar
Darla Reed Joseph & Dr. Ralph Joseph
Bringing Awake Liposuction to McKinney Essence of Eve Day Med Spa is moving to Adriatica
Introducing Awake Liposuction to McKinney is a wonderful opportunity for Darla and Ralph Joseph. "To be bringing this incredible procedure to McKinney and relocating the day med spa to Adriatica in 2009, is a dream come true for both of us," stated Darla. "We've worked long and hard with the Blackard Group. We know this is where we are to be, in Adriatica." This November, 2008, they introduced the number one sought after procedure in the aesthetic industry – liposuction to McKinney. “Awake Liposuction” or tumescent liposuction, is performed in the office under local anesthesia. It is for men and women with a body mass index (BMI) of 30 and below. “The body contouring procedure by reduction of fat deposits provides an immediate difference. It is truly remarkable in that you are awake throughout,” states Darla Reed Joseph, owner of Essence of Eve Day Med Spa. “You walk out on your own with noticeable results. Come in on Friday and back to work on Monday,” states Joseph. “An investment which can change the rest of your life when you augment this with a healthy eating program and exercise,” Darla confidently states. “We will be introducing other proven local anesthesia procedures in 2009, at Adriatica as well as making more changes to better serve our clients and patients in the new location. We will also cater to several area markets - along with the wedding industry, especially as Adriatica develops,” Joseph says.
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Keeping up with trends in the aesthetic industry is the most challenging aspects of owning a medical day spa, yet she manages to do it, and do it well. “With a lot of help from this tremendously gifted and passionate team,” she qualifies. Since opening almost 5 years ago, the spa has garnered two awards; the Best Spa and Salon in Downtown McKinney and a Best of McKinney 2008 award. Mrs. Joseph received recognition from the National Association of Professional and Executive Women in 2008. When asked what sets Essence of Eve Day Med Spa apart, Darla states, “Successfully managing client and patient expectations with identifying and achieving realistic results.” Many are transformed emotionally, physically and oftentimes spiritually, when entrusting this staff. “Whether in their physical body’s appearance, facial aesthetics, pain management and stress relief through massage therapy or the best pedicure ever, we treat every client as though they are our only client. We all play a part – not one of us makes it successful alone,” says Joseph. January, 2008, the spa introduced a successful laser program with their highly trained staff in laser hair reduction, photofacials, fractional skin resurfacing procedures. “A laser treatment is not a laser treatment and cosmetic injections are not another injection,” Darla firmly states. “It is an art of listening to the patient state what concerns them most, understanding how facial muscles work, evaluating facial asymmetry and communicating what to expect - some of the factors which sets us apart, keeping our clients and patients returning,” Darla states. “Plus, my husband is very, very, good - he also has the patience of Job!” she says without hesitation about Dr. Joseph, serving as the spa’s medical director –providing the injections and lipo surgical procedures. “He is our medical director and a practicing OB/GYN, still helping God deliver babies into the world, and I manage the spa. Yes, we live a very busy life!” Darla states. If she could change one thing about the misconceptions some people have, it would be the impact of stress. “Every day we see this from men and women. They enter the spa wired, stressed to the max. When this gifted staff finishes their service, be it a facial, pedicure or a much needed massage, a transformation takes place. You can see them change,” Darla remarks. When asked of the spa’s greatest compliment given, she had difficulty giving one. “There are too many!” After a moment she stated, “One client’s husband purchased her a spa day at Pebble Beach. She told us she would have preferred to have been at ours but not to tell him! I hope he doesn’t read this!” Another, “When our clients tell us they always ask for a gift certificate to Essence of Eve for every gift occasion. What a great 2008 Christmas present - a gift certificate redeemed at our new Adriatica location in 2009!” Then Darla remembered the compliment that speaks to her and her staff the most, “There is a special presence in this place.” And there truly is. Jacqueline Bodnar is a freelance writer that lives in Port Orange,
Fla. with her husband and two children. www.northtexasmagazines.com
November/December 2008 | McKinney Woman
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By Jacqueline Bodnar
Five Reasons to take
a Gourmet Cooking Class Most likely, you have been cooking for years now. And, that being the case, you probably haven’t given much thought to why there would be a need to take a gourmet cooking class. Think again! Although you already have cooking skills, there are still many other reasons to consider taking a cooking class. Classes range in price, frequency and length.
Some classes last a few hours per week for several weeks, while others last a single day for several hours. Calendars change as to what is available, so check every so often to see if there’s one that you may be interested in. Then roll up your sleeves and dig in. We’ve narrowed it down to five reasons that make taking cooking classes a blast, showing you why you should give it a try!
1. Take part in an adventure. We Americans seem to get very comfortable with eating the same things at home, over and over. Most people have six or seven main dishes and alternate them all the time. Now is the time to think beyond the same old meatloaf or burgers. Try taking a class that focuses on vegetarian cooking, or an Italian or Asian theme. Classes give you a chance to try something new as you expand your culinary horizons.
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2. Exercise your mind. Sitting at home in front of the television does little to keep your mind active. Cooking classes will exercise your mind, keeping you busy as you measure, stir, chop, and concentrate on learning how to prepare a great dish. Keeping your mind active with new projects and tasks is one of the surest ways to help remain healthy and to slow the aging process.
3. Meet others. You may be thinking that you have enough friends. If you do, then great. But most of us could use a few more. Good conversation does wonders for the heart and mind. And even if you have plenty of friends, there may be someone else there who doesn’t and could use a friend like you. There is no sense in sitting around, lonely, on a Saturday afternoon when you could be attending a
RejuveDermMD Aesthetic Center Matthew D. Barrows, M.D., P.A. Revitalize, Restore, Renew
cooking class and meeting others cooking enthusiasts.
4. Build skills. Even if you have been active in the kitchen for decades, there are still some skills you could hone. Whether learning the correct way to use a chef’s knife or how best to chop an onion, it’s fun to learn the techniques used by professional chefs. You will become more efficient in your own kitchen, and you’ll have the satisfaction that you know something that others around you don’t.
5. Good food. Cooking classes focus on creating good food and, in the end, that food is going to be eaten. You’ll get a chance to eat some of the great food you just learned how to create. It’s like getting a lesson and a restaurant-quality meal, all in one. What can beat a few hours out of the house, having fun and gaining new skills at the same time?
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1790 N. Stonebridge Drive • McKinney, TX 75071 November/December 2008 | McKinney Woman
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By Janet Vogel
Creating Christmas gift baskets can give one a great deal of pleasure as well as ignite the holiday spirit. It is a rewarding accomplishment to select personal gift items and favorite treats for that special person. With some planning you will come up with ideas for everyone on your holiday gift list.
Design and Create your Own Delightful
Christmas Gift Baskets Photo was taken from www.mrsprindables.com
There are many different kinds of containers to choose from. If your intention is to make a gift basket with Christmas decorative items and holiday food items, then a basket with red or green decorative touches would be lovely. A benefit to this kind of basket is that it can easily be reused throughout the holidays as a serving vessel year-after-year. Sled shaped containers are very attractive, easy to assemble, and reusable as well. If your plan is to make a gift basket based on a specific theme, choose a container that is appropriate for that theme. When in doubt, go with a natural color or white wicker basket. One of my favorite Christmas gift baskets is a gift of candles, potpourri, and other fragrance items. Sachets, incense, candle holders, or other scented accessories for the home can also be included. Choose scents of the Christmas holiday such as pine, spice, balsam, or bayberry. Place red or green shred in your container before placing the gift items. Fill in any empty spaces with small unbreakable accessories, silk poinsettias, or silk greenery. Designing a food gift basket with holiday foods is another easy-tomake gift basket. Simply fill your container with holiday treats and goodies that can be shared with family or friends during the holiday season. Homemade Christmas cookies, fudge, brownies, or other sweets presented in small cello gift bags or wrap are wonderful. Small cans of nuts or chocolates, hard candy, dried fruit, herbal tea, packages of gourmet coffee, and packets of cocoa mix are all readily available in supermarkets during the holiday season. Scatter some mixed nuts in the shell around the gift items and include several wrapped www.northtexasmagazines.com
small candy canes for a decorative holiday look. If desired, include a CD of Christmas carols or a copy of “The Night Before Christmas” book for the children. There are so many ways to turn all theme gift baskets into Christmas gift baskets. An easy way is to line the container with red or green in the form of shred, crumpled tissue paper, tea towels, or napkins. If you have a paper shredder, it’s easy to make your own filler materials using Christmas wrapping paper or any other paper you think would look nice in your gift basket. Another way to add that holiday touch is by scattering foil wrapped candies such as “Hershey’s Kisses” amongst the gifts. Use ribbon, bows, raffia, or curly ribbon in holiday colors and tie small wrapped candy canes in with the ribbon. It looks very decorative to wrap some of the gifts in tissue paper and tie with red or green raffia before placing them in your Christmas gift basket. This is a good idea when you have gifts that don’t look as pleasing as you would like. Small, unbreakable ornaments, jingle bells, silk holly or mistletoe placed in with the gift items look lovely also. In order to stay within a budget, check out your local discount or dollar store early in the holiday season. I live within walking distance of two dollar stores; I shop there for baskets, shred, ribbon, bows, tea towels, candles, and lots of other items that come in handy when creating gift baskets. The secret is to shop early because the really nice things go fast. If you can make several Christmas gift baskets that are alike or have the same gift and food items, that could be a cost saving technique. Janet Vogel is the owner of a web site dedicated to making theme gift baskets where you will find more tips for making Christmas Gift Baskets including specific themes such as Christmas Scents and Gingerbread. Article source: www.articlesbase.com.
November/December 2008 | McKinney Woman
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FRESH remains on the "must haves" list of most of us. My daughter says Sake Bath cures everything from a heartbreak to a hangover! The sugar Age Delay cream is getting rave reviews from those of us trying to hold back the clock. No stocking is properly filled without Sugar Lip Treatment and no bath or shower experience is complete without Brown Sugar Body Polish. Lemon Sugar Cubes have been known to go missing from bathrooms, but the thieves are always busted as the aromatherapy tends to permeate the house! $22.50 to $80.
CYNTHIA ELLIOT BOUTIQUE
Dresses by Nueva Teal & Chocolate Animal Print Micro Fiber Dress $165 Haulter Top $130 Skirt $125 Jewelry by Yolanta Earing - Swarovski crystal $20 Necklace - Swarovski Crystal $85 Pearl Prop Earings $23
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McKinney Woman | November/December 2008
Kneipp, The nature of well-being since 1891. "Nature has generously provided for us everything we need to remain in good health." www.northtexasmagazines.com
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By Diane O’Neil
The holiday season can be stressful for many families. Finances are usually a major stress-causing factor. Today’s roller coaster economy does not help families stay on track financially. With gas and grocery prices so high, it would be ohso-easy to break out the credit cards and buy expensive gifts for everyone on your list. If you give into that temptation, we know that those credit card bills will raise their ugly heads in January.
Debt Free Holidays Believe it or not, it is absolutely possible to have a “Cash Christ-
always appreciated. The effort, planning and time that go into
mas” and not depend on credit. The following are just a few ideas
crafting gifts are evident.
to help you keep more money in your purse. Making your own holiday gifts can serve many purposes. While
Set a Spending Limit and Stick To It!
saving money is certainly the number one goal, this is also a great
Many people begin the holiday season by saying they’re only
way to get your kids involved in the holiday spirit. You can create
going to spend a certain amount of money on each member of
a teaching moment that will show them it isn’t necessary to spend
the family. Then they hear about the latest video game that their
a ton of cash, and go into credit card debt in order to make Christ-
kids are dying to have. Last year it was the Nintendo Wii, and you
mas beautiful for your friends and family. So, what kinds of gifts
couldn’t find them in most stores! While your children might really
can you make? You might be thinking, “I’m not creative enough
like to have the latest and greatest expensive gifts, you know that
to do this!” There are many easy crafts that will make beautiful
they don’t really need them.
holiday gifts. My favorite is the “no-sew fleece blanket.” Simply take two pieces of fleece fabric that are about two and half yards
“But they won’t have a Merry Christmas if that video game isn’t
long. Place them on top of each other. All around the edge, cut
under the tree!” Use this as an opportunity to teach your children
in about two to three inches. When you’re finished cutting, you
that Christmas isn’t about receiving pricey presents. This lesson
should have a fringe around the edge of the two pieces. Tie each
will be much more valuable than a $500 game system. Pick a
fringe together, the top layer to the bottom layer. When you’re
dollar amount that you can afford to spend on each person, and
all done tying, voila, you have a beautiful, warm, cozy blanket!
shop within that limit.
Another great gift is homemade ornaments. You can find clear or frosted glass ornaments in most hobby stores. Decorate them
Homemade Gifts
with paint, glitter, or anything else you can think of. You can even
While you may think your friends and family only want the best
place photographs inside the ornament, for a truly personal gift.
gifts that money can buy, be assured that homemade gifts are
Get creative – ask your kids for ideas!
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Shop Second Hand Shops and Garage Sales There are truly hundreds of treasures that can be found in second hand shops, consignment shops, thrift stores and garage sales. My favorite consignment shop is in Allen, at the corner of Greenville and Main Street. Cotton Closet offers gently used clothing at great prices. I often find great brands like Ann Taylor, Tommy Bahama, and Ralph Lauren. Which girlfriend wouldn’t love a designer blouse or sweater for Christmas? And, you probably won’t have to spend more than ten dollars! Thanks to the beautiful Texas climate, garage sales and yard sales can be held well into the fall. Books, CD’s and movies make wonderful inexpensive gifts for co-workers, and these types of items can often be found at yard sales. Speaking of books and CD’s, don’t forget about Half Price Books!
Choose a Name Wouldn’t it be great if we could afford a gift for everyone that we would like to give one to? Even if you don’t have a large, extended family with dozens of cousins and in-laws, you would still like to include your mailman, nail technician, and hair stylist. With finances being a bit tighter this year, you may have to be more choosey when you’re deciding who to give gifts to. If you have a large extended family, you can make the suggestion of drawing names. Gift giving is much easier when you only have to shop for one or two people outside of the family, instead of twenty-five! If you follow these simple steps, you’ll be sure to have a very Merry Christmas, and also a Happy January without credit card bills! Diane O’Neil is a freelance writer and single mother of three. www.northtexasmagazines.com
November/December 2008 | McKinney Woman
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Favorite Christmas
By Deborah Anderson
Memories
I’ll never forget December 1972 while we were living in Phoenix, Arizona and the unexpected events surrounding the season. I was merely five years old and school had just let out for Christmas break. When my brother Greg and I arrived home, my father announced, “I’ve decided we’re going somewhere special for Christmas.” Full of wonder, I questioned, “Where?”
across the flatlands of Kansas and through the wooded forests of
Dad then began to smile as he exclaimed, “Pack your bags . . .
Before my father’s death in 1999, he mentioned that he wished
because we’re going somewhere wonderful . . . Pennsylvania!”
he had never left his hometown, parents, and longtime friends
Although our family could not afford the airlines, our “roomy” leaf
back “home” in 1958. As I’ve grown older, I’ve also realized how
green Buick would suffice. “Get ready because we’re leaving
important my family is to me and the joys that a family and extended
soon,” he announced. “How soon?” I inquired. “Tonight,” Dad
family can bring. Even though we did not have a lot of money for
enthusiastically replied with a smile; pandemonium followed.
expensive gifts, it was the most amazing Christmas of my life.
We hurriedly and excitedly prepared for our long cross-country
McKinney resident Sheila Currence also shared her favorite holiday
road trip. I slept in the back seat as my dad and brother drove
memory. “Whenever I am asked about a favorite holiday memory
long distances deep into the night. Our journey lasted four days
my mind always drifts to the first Christmas my husband and I
and three nights through the icy mountains of Flagstaff, Arizona,
shared together as husband and wife. Like most newlyweds, we
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McKinney Woman | November/December 2008
Arkansas and Tennessee. My big brother teased me about Bigfoot hiding in the brush. Despite our Howard Johnson hotel stays, when we reached Wheeling, West Virginia, we were exhausted, especially Mom, who wearily asked, “How much longer will it be?” When we arrived on Oak Street in Laureldale, Pennsylvania, it was an amazingly beautiful crystal white Christmas Eve, just a few hours after dark. We decided to surprise dear Grandmom and Grandpop by singing on their garland laden front porch. As Grandmom opened her beautifully decorated door, her jaw dropped. Tears quickly filled her loving brown eyes as our family sang the famous song “White Christmas” to her and our sweet Grandpop. That Christmas, we felt elation and pure joy celebrating our family love, bridging the distance that had once separated us. We did not feel the chill of winter that season due to the warmth that resided in our hearts.
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didn’t have a lot of money. We decided that in order to save on
Another area resident, Sarah Kirby shares her favorite holiday
costs, we would travel to Scout Mountain not far from our home in
memory: “Christmas is the season of giving. Many people give and
southern Idaho to select a fresh Christmas tree.”
show their love through service and kindness to others. There are also those for whom Christmas is a season of great and unexpected
Mrs. Currence remembers it well, “The day we drove to the moun-
blessings through the generosity of others. This is about my ‘best
tain, it was bright and chilly, with the promise of new snow. After
Christmas ever’, the Christmas when I learned how to receive and
we parked our car, we grabbed a handsaw and a hand ax. Sure
be grateful.”
enough, the snow began to gently fall sticking to our noses and eyelashes. We saw some pine trees located at the top of a nearby
Mrs. Kirby continued, “It was like in the story of Dr Seuss’ The
steep slope and decided to begin the hunt for a Christmas tree. As
Grinch, when there was ‘no Christmas coming’. Our six months of
we approached the top of the slope, we saw another slope. We were
unemployment had been an ongoing lesson in humility. We had an
looking for something bigger and better, so we continued our quest in
almost three year old daughter and a newborn son. There was no
that direction. As we walked, we spoke about our plans for the new
money and my husband and I were being helped by relatives and
year and our resolving goals.” Soon they arrived at the top of their chosen slope, “My husband and I began to inspect the pine trees, hoping to find one with a
This family Christmas tradition helps us to feel the warmth of the season and to keep our “everyday” lives in the proper perspective... especially during the holidays.
nice shape and no bare spots.
our church. I was grateful for the help we were given, but I resented needing it. Before entering the church’s storehouse, I cried in the parking lot. I remembered being the one who smiled and handed
We found a tree that we liked, and tagged it. However, we continued
out the groceries, not the one who needed them. It was Christmas,
to search the other nearby trees, to see if there was another that
we were at the bitter end of our resources and I was running low on
better suited our needs. As we searched for the perfect Christmas
faith.
tree, the snow began to fall faster. We continued our search to other nearby slopes, all the while talking about our families, past Christ-
Sarah understands what Christmas is all about. “Sunday night
mases and holidays. After a few more hours of talking and walk-
before Christmas, our Bishop came to the door after our kids were in
ing, we found our perfect tree. We cut it down and began to drag it
bed, just like any good Santa. He had several bags filled with gifts
toward our parked car. We tied the perfect Christmas tree down and
and an envelope for us, all given anonymously. It was overwhelm-
prepared to travel home with our hard earned prize.”
ing to be so blessed, from the little baby doll that my daughter still loves, to the much needed baby supplies and clothing. I learned
We created a Christmas tradition for our family that first year, but it
that Christmas how it felt to receive a great gift. For all blessings,
did not involve hunting for a tree on mountain tops. Our Christmas
both temporal and spiritual, I felt unworthy; I felt humbled, I was
tradition became going for a long walk to discuss our plans for the
grateful, and I knew that I was loved. My best Christmas came from
New Year and to plan our goals for the future, to spend time thinking
the generosity of others who took of their time and resources during
about family and friends. This tradition helps us to feel the warmth
the busy holiday season to give to another. So it doesn’t matter if
of the season and to keep our “everyday” lives in the proper per-
you give or if you receive this holiday season, just remember to be
spective... especially during the holidays. From our trek across the
grateful for the eternal gifts in your life.”
mountain slopes of Idaho, we learned the importance of talking with each other and communicating our thoughts and feelings not only at
Deborah Anderson is a freelance writer who resides with her family in
Christmas time, but every day of our lives.
McKinney, Texas.
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November/December 2008 | McKinney Woman
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Historic Downtown Holiday Events Calendar McKinney Main Streets 28th Annual Dickens of a Christmas Thanksgiving Weekend in Historic Downtown McKinney
Dickens of a Christmas
Bring you entire family to enjoy MRT’s
Located in the heart of downtown over a twelve block area November 28 and 29, 10 a.m. – 8 p.m. November 30, noon – 6 p.m. www.downtownmckinney.com
production of Dickens’ timeless story. This
McKinney’s premier festival, the 28th annual Dickens of a Christmas, will feature seasonal music, food, horse drawn carriages, strolling carolers, visits with Santa Claus and activities for all ages. Don’t miss this year’s new addition, the Downtown McKin-
adaptation of the enduring classic places special emphasis on the ghostly apparitions in the spirit of Dickens’ original text, and is
Rotary Club of McKinney Parade of Lights Historic Downtown McKinney December 5 at 6:30 p.m. 9th Annual Christmas Parade
full of Victorian song accompanied by music on the vintage theatre pipe organ.
2008 Holiday Tour of Homes
Believe 2008!
Chestnut Square Historic Village December 6 and 7, 2008 www.chestnutsquare.org
Located at Mitchell Park – one block west of the square Saturday, November 29 (times vary) www.believemckinney.org
ney SNOW HILL (snow covered tubing hill).
The first weekend of December has been the Heritage Guild Holiday Tour of Homes since 1973. This wonderful tradition will
Admission to Dickens of a Christmas is free
10K Certified Believe! Run, 5K Certified Be-
continue this year with showcasing up to
and open to the public.
lieve! Run, 1 Mile Holiday Walk, the Great
six historic homes throughout downtown
Santa Chase for kids 12 and under, holiday
decorated for the holidays. Enjoy living his-
shopping, wonderful unique restaurants,
tory demonstrations and holiday shopping at
and all the fun activities associated with
Dixie’s store.
City of McKinney Christmas Tree Lighting Ceremony Located at Mitchell Park – one block west of the square November 28, 6:15 p.m. www.downtownmckinney.com
the 28th annual Dickens of a Christmas. Make sure you make arrangements to get your FREE holiday portraits taken at the St. Andrews tent located on the square during the three-day Dickens event.
Come one, come all and celebrate the magic of the holiday season in Historic Downtown McKinney for the annual City of McKinney Christmas Tree Lighting Ceremony. Don’t miss one of a kind entertainment, along with a special message from Mayor Bill Whitfield and City Manager Frank Ragan.
McKinney Repertory Theatre Presents “A Christmas Carol”
Visits with Santa Claus Thanksgiving Weekend Located at MPAC – the center of Historic Downtown McKinney November 28 and 29 (noon – 8 p.m.) November 30 from 1 p.m. – 5 p.m. www.downtownmckinney.com
Candlelight Shopping in Downtown McKinney Saturday evenings in December www.downtownmckinney.com Select shops in Historic Downtown will offer extended hours throughout the month of December on Saturday evenings.
Holiday Performances at MPAC Located in the heart of downtown McKinney November and December www.mckinneyperformingartscenter.org
Experience the magic of experience of Historic Downtown McKinney during the 28th
Fore more information on these events,
November 28 and 29, 2 p.m. and 5 p.m.
annual Dickens of a Christmas. Don’t miss
please visit us at
November 30, 2 p.m.
your one of a kind visit with Santa Claus in
www.downtownmckinney.com
www.mckinneyperformingartscenter.org
the McKinney Performing Arts Center.
or call 972.547.2660.
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McKinney Woman | November/December 2008
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November/December 2008 | McKinney Woman
19
By Martha Wegner
The Gift of Adoption November is “National Adoption Awareness Month”. In honor of this month, we ask adoptive parents to tell us about their journey.
ous times, filled with fears of “Will I ever get this baby? Will she be healthy? Will she love me?,” and then joy beyond words when they finally placed Ellen in my sister’s arms. I’ve since wondered about other parents who have taken the journey of becoming adoptive parents. I’ve wondered what motivated them,
My Sister’s Dream - My big sister calls to tell me that she is having a
how they kept going despite the roadblocks, and how the whole
baby. My sister, who is 48 years old and single, is having a baby ...
process has turned out for them. In honor of November, National
and she is traveling all the way to China to get her.
Adoption Awareness Month, I decided to ask some of them. Following are some enlightening responses from those who know
I am pleased. I am shocked. I am speechless. At least for a while.
first-hand what it is like to adopt. Here is what they had to say.
I rush to the phone to tell my friends, all of whom happen to be mar-
First and foremost, the most common reason for choosing to adopt:
ried with children. Their response is universal: “Does she have any
Infertility. Stephanie tells us: “We went through seven years of
idea what she is getting herself into?”
infertility treatments and heart wrenching miscarriages, all the time thinking that it was the ‘easiest’ way to build a family and the first
No, she surely does not. But that doesn’t mean that she can’t dream.
path we should take. After thousands of dollars in expenses, the massive emotional toll and depression, we realized we just couldn’t
I wrote these words 6 years ago before accompanying my sister on
continue on that path.. So, after a good three weeks of devastated
a trip to China, a trip that brought her precious daughter, Ellen, into
crying, depression and feelings of worthlessness and despair, it hit
our lives. That journey, and the time leading up to it, were tumultu-
us like a piece of space junk: wait a minute, who said we have to
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McKinney Woman | November/December 2008
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$27
go the conception route to have our kids?” Others’ decision to
2,00
adopt came from devastating loss. Rhonda and her husband, Bob, decided to adopt a 4-year-old girl after their only child,
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a son, died while waiting for a heart transplant. Others, such as Melissa, a single mother to 2 siblings from Russia, had completely different reasons. She says, “I was an adopted child - one of three - I believed adoption was a gift of life and I was raised understanding that I was chosen and special.. As I approached my 40th birthday, I was unmarried and had just ended a long relationship. Because of my great experience, I always knew I would adopt.”
So, was it all worth it? You bet. Everyone seems to agree with Stephanie when she says: “Altogether, this was the most expensive, emotional, heart wrenching experience of our lives, but of course, when I look in our children’s eyes, we know it was worth every penny, every tear, every moment of grief and joy.” Any words of advice for those considering adoption? Says Rhonda, ”Do your homework and be flexible. Find a reputable
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agency. Understand going in that just like with a biological child, you could face some issues.” Says Jennifer, “Expect the adoption process to be tough and long, but hang in there and it will happen.” She adds, “I learned to keep hope alive, that the most precious things are worth waiting for and putting lots of effort into.” Finally, says Kathryn, “Make sure this is something you really want to do. It’s hard work and emotionally stressful going through classes or paperwork, physicals, home visits, interviews. The waiting for approval, the waiting for a child is exhausting. But if it’s what you believe in, don’t give up, don’t
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tire out, and always find supportive people to surround you during this time.” The final word comes from Marcia. “You know that love you have for your child: deep down in your gut, fills you to the tips of your toes, takes your breath away, type of love? You don’t have to give birth to a child to feel that type of love. We have been entrusted with the life and upbringing of a wonderful human being. How lucky are we?” So, to my sister, to all the wonderful parents we talked to, and to all adoptive parents everywhere, happy National Adoption Awareness Month. What you have done has been a great blessing to your child and to yourselves. But you already knew that, didn’t you?
Martha Wegner is a freelance writer whose work can be found at
www.marthawegner.com. www.northtexasmagazines.com
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Arts at the Heard-Craig Center The history of art in Texas is, like any good story, filled with characters, unfolding events, and underlying themes. The Heard-Craig Center for the Arts is privileged to be part of that ongoing story. As both accomplished creator and collector of art in Texas, Kathryn Heard Craig contributed to the rich grass roots efforts of local art clubs and civic patronage that resulted in quality art gracing the homes and public buildings of communities statewide. Museums and galleries are entities that followed these local involvements in the arts, as well as federal funding under the WPA. The Heard-Craig Center is pleased to present a series of lectures on The History of Texas Art, given by Annie Royer, and held on the first Wednesday of each month in the Carriage House, continuing through September of 2009. Designed to fit within a busy day, the slide presentations are from 12:30-1:30pm, and everyone is encouraged to bring their lunch and join the discussion. By offering these programs at no charge, the Heard-Craig Center hopes to make art history accessible to anyone with a desire to learn more. During the coming months, the lunchtime lecture series will introduce several chapters of the story of art and artists in Texas.
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McKinney Woman | November/December 2008
Beginning with early immigrant influences, the presentations follow the lineage of Texas artists from the 19th through mid-20th centuries. On the one hand, Texas art is representative of all major schools of American art, including American Impressionism, Regionalism, and American Realism, with social commentary a common thread. On the other, Texas art is unique, for woven into its story are the events and economics that make Texas history so colorful. Big personalities, burgeoning cities, and the politics of influence are balanced by Texas - natural beauty and supportive citizenry, as artists pick their way through subjects, styles and venues for their art. With so much of this art on view in McKinney (the Heard-Craig Center holds over 150 works of art), or within a few hours’ drive, these lectures will encourage a fresh look at original art in Texas. Topics for November and December will focus on the grass roots arts movements, such as Kathryn Heard Craig’s and the Art Club of McKinney (oldest in the state). Far more than loose affiliations of like-minded artists, these clubs and art associations were passionate about art education (particularly of women) and dedicated to developing a civic climate in which the arts could flourish. With an eye to the future of the arts in McKinney, the audience will be encouraged to learn from the success of the past.
For more information contact Barbara Johnson at 972-569-6909 Visit www.heardcraig.org www.northtexasmagazines.com
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November/December 2008 | McKinney Woman
23
McKinney Resident Named Texas CASA Volunteer of the Year Virginia Barrett Receives Honor
Virginia Barrett
McKinney resident Virginia Barrett was named the 2008 CASA (Court Appointed Special Advocates) State of Texas Volunteer of the Year at the group’s annual conference in Austin. Each year, the award recognizes the volunteer who has made a significant contribution in helping abused and neglected children and has exemplified a high level of ethics and respect for their role as a CASA. Mrs. Barrett has volunteered for CASA of Collin County since 1998 and is one of 5,000 active vol-
unteers in the state’s 68 CASA programs. She has advocated for 53 children in 21 cases in the courts of 6 District Judges.
recommendations to the court. She calls the work “pure pleasure” and speaks of her children as “precious.”
In representing her children, she has worked diligently to find funding which has provided tuition for private schools, YMCA camps and many other extras. She has personally paid for some items while relentlessly searching for funding from others. Mrs. Barrett has worked with all ages, many disabilities, traveled great distances and never fails to explore a possibility for a child. She tackled a case with 9 children, and after 6 years, still advocates for 6 of them. Each one would say that they are her most important priority.
In addition to her role with CASA, Virginia belongs to several organizations, including the Daughters of the American Revolution, McKinney Citizens Police Academy Alumni Association, Collin County Sheriff’s Academy Alumni Association and the Certified Emergency Response Team. She has served on two grand juries and the commission which selects grand jury members.
Although small in stature, the whirlwind she can create when delving into a case is phenomenal. She uses every available resource to assist in making appropriate
CASA of Collin County, located at 112 W. Virginia St., McKinney, has been training court-appointed volunteers to advocate for abused and neglected children in the county since 1991. There are currently 170 active volunteers who represented 740 children last year, serving 25,000 hours.
North Texas History Center Presents Dr. Rebecca Sharpless Speaking on Southern Women and Food
Dr. Rebecca Sharpless, Assistant Professor of History at TCU, will speak on southern women and food for the second of a two part lecture series sponsored by Humanities Texas. The lecture will be held on Tuesday, December 2, 2008 at the McKinney Performing Arts Center, 111 N. Tennessee, McKinney. Dr. Sharpless teaches and researches U.S. women’s history, particularly in the South. Her first book, Fertile Ground, Narrow Choices: Women on Texas Cotton Farms, 1900-1940, explored the lives of ordinary women in Central Texas. She is currently writing a book titled “Cooking in Other Women’s Kitchens: African Americans in the South, 1865 – 1960. Lecture tickets are $7.00 for the general public and $5.00 for members of the North Texas History Center. They can be purchased by calling 214-544-4630 or visiting www.mckinneyperformingarts.org.
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McKinney Woman | November/December 2008
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A Traditional Swedish Celebration of Lucia at LaMisha
Need to be more visible?
Every December, Sonia, owner of La Misha, the trendy little European bistro on the McKinney Square, hosts a traditional Swedish celebration of Lucia, the Queen of Light, who ushers in the Scandinavian Christmas season. At La Misha, the evening (December 6th) will include a lavish Swedish Christmas dinner buffet, Swedish singers, and decorations that include artwork by Annie Royer that takes its inspiration from traditional Swedish decorative painting. The cost of the evening is $25. Please make reservations at 972-540-6050.
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November/December 2008 | McKinney Woman
25
By Lisa M. Petsche
Friends of caregivers can help 10 tips to help prevent burnout
In approximately one-quarter of American households, care is provided to one or more people aged 50-plus. Typically, all of the care is provided by family members and friends. These unpaid helpers provide practical assistance and enhance the quality of life for ill older people who might otherwise require
placement in a long-term care facility (commonly known as a nursing home).
2. Educate yourself about the care receiver's disease, to help
Typically, they are spouses or offspring. The majority are women.
The loved ones they care for have physical or mental impairment (perhaps both) caused by one or more chronic health conditions, stroke and dementia being most common.
3. Listen non-judgmentally, demonstrate compassion and don't give unsolicited advice. Provide words of support and encouragement.
The caregiving role involves physical, psychological, emotional and financial demands. It can also be one of life's most rewarding experiences.
4.
Offer to accompany the person to a caregiver support group meeting if concurrent care is available or she can make in-home respite arrangements; otherwise, offer to be the respite provider so she can attend a group.
5.
Encourage the caregiver to practice self-care by eating nutritiously, exercising and getting sufficient rest in order to maintain good health. Do whatever you can to help make it possible. For example, bring over a meal or offer to sit with the care receiver while the caregiver exercises or takes a nap to catch up on lost sleep.
The caregiving journey is often long, though, and particularly challenging when the elder has heavy hands-on needs, a demanding personality, or mental impairment. Burnout is common The following are some things that you, as a friend or relative, can do to help prevent a caregiver you know from wearing down. 1. Keep in touch, recognizing that you may have to make most of the effort in maintaining the relationship. If you live at a distance or otherwise can't visit often, regularly call to see
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McKinney Woman | November/December 2008
how she is doing or send cards and letters to let her know you're thinking of her.
you understand the kinds of challenges the caregiver might be faced with.
6. Ask, rather than guess, what kind of practical help would be most valuable. Perhaps it's dusting and vacuuming, www.northtexasmagazines.com
doing laundry or running errands. If your assistance is declined, continue to express your desire to help. Meanwhile, take it upon yourself to deliver a casserole or muffins or, if you're a neighbor, sweep both walks or bring in both sets of garbage cans. Encourage the caregiver to ask for and accept help rather than go it alone.
7. Surprise the caregiver with a treat, such as a rented movie, fresh flowers or a plant, gourmet coffee or tea, or a gift certificate to a restaurant that has takeout and delivery service. 8.
When it comes to special occasions, keep in mind that the most valuable gift you can give a caregiver is the gift of time. Offer to sit with the care receiver for an hour while the caregiver goes to a hair appointment or to a religious service, for example, or for a longer stretch so she can attend a social event.
9. If the caregiver is planning to host a party or dinner, offer to help with preparations or cleanup, or to attend to the care
receiver during the event so the caregiver can concentrate on hosting duties and mingle with guests.
10. Offer to get information about community support services if
none are in place, and encourage their use as appropriate.
Lisa M. Petsche is a clinical social worker and a freelance writer
specializing in elder care issues.
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November/December 2008 | McKinney Woman
27
Cinnamon Spice Offers
Health Benefits
Cinnamon is widely used both in the food and pharmaceutical industry because of its antiseptic properties. The cinnamon bark oil is used as a flavoring for digestive aids, liniments, and oral care products. It is also used in many perfumes, soaps, and lotions. In addition, cinnamon leaf oil is used in the food industry as flavorings to candies, sauces, and pastries. The commonly used ingredient is actually the soft, inner bark of the cinnamon tree.
The use of cinnamon dates back in Chinese medicine to 2800 BC, and is known as “kwai” in the Chinese language. Ancient Egyptians used it in the embalming process of corpses because of its fragrance. Medieval physicians used this spice to treat coughs, hoarseness, sore throats, and other types of infections. Cinnamon also has antibacterial and inflammatory properties that help reduce joint and muscle pain, especially the discomforts associated with arthritis. Many health specialists advice diabetics to take daily dose of cinnamon to regulate blood sugar levels. It can also benefit one’s health by improving the body’s digestive system and relieve many stomach discomforts. In aromatherapy, cinnamon oil is used to stimulate and warm the senses, restore vigor, and treat stress and anxiety. Cinnamon oil is also important in strengthening the immune system because its scent is said to treat early stages of cold and fever. The oil of cinnamon is also used as a physical and emotional stimulant, with many believing that it can actually enhance one’s libido.
This spice is now being heralded as the latest in the long line of herbal medicine wonders? According to research findings, one
Medical research also indicates that the scent of cinnamon may
teaspoon of cinnamon contains 28 milligrams of calcium, one mil-
reduce drowsiness, irritability, pain, and frequent migraines.
ligram of iron, fiber, and vitamins C, K, and manganese.
In some studies, the essential oil provides relief to tight muscles,
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McKinney Woman | November/December 2008
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ease painful joints, and relieve menstrual cramps in women. Cinnamon also increases the action of enzymes that break down the food in the body and help improve one’s metabolism.
Traditional uses of cinnamon Many traditional cultures around the globe have been using cinnamon not just as an ingredient in their favorite dishes but as a medicine as well. In fact, cinnamon has been highly valued for its medicinal properties for hundreds, perhaps even thousands of years.
Here are the other health benefits of Cinnamon: • Studies have shown that just 1/2 teaspoon of cinnamon included in a daily diet can lower cholesterol. • Cinnamon may have a regulatory effect on blood sugar, making it especially beneficial for people with diabetes. • Cinnamon has shown an amazing ability to stop medication-
• When added to food, it prevents bacterial growth and food
resistant yeast infections.
spoilage, making it a natural food preservative.
• A study released by researchers at the U.S. Department of
• Smelling cinnamon may boost cognitive function and memory.
Agriculture in Maryland showed that cinnamon reduced the
• Researchers at Kansas State University found that cinnamon
proliferation of leukemia and lymphoma cancer cells.
fights the E. coli bacteria in unpasteurized juices.
• It has an anti-clotting effect on the blood. • Relief from congestion - Cinnamon and other spices have
Indeed, cinnamon has many benefits that can be used to improve
long been consumed to relieve congestion that comes from
one’s health and well-being. If taken together with a balanced,
colds, allergies, and other common conditions.
healthy diet and plenty of exercise --- one can bring back the
• Muscle and joint pain relief - Those who eat cinnamon on
spice of life that everyone longs for.
a regular basis often report that their muscle and joint pain, as well as stiffness, is reduced or even eliminated.
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Article source: www.articletrader.com.
November/December 2008 | McKinney Woman
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By Sheila Wray Gregoire
Twenty-two weeks into my second pregnancy, my husband Keith and I were devastated to learn that the little boy I was carrying had a serious heart defect. The specialist grimly remarked, "I should warn you that half of all couples in this situation separate within a year." Instead of drifting apart, though, we leaned on each other, growing closer together even as we watched Christopher slip away.
‘Til Kids Do Us Part Thankfully, most of you won’t have to endure the death of one of your children, but you may suffer other heartbreaks that can take their toll on your relationship. Maybe you have an uncontrollable four-year-old, or a teenager who is constantly threatening to run away. Even so-called "normal" children can cause stress with their constant demands. A strong marriage can provide a cushion through these challenges, but a marriage that is floundering only compounds grief. To ensure that your relationship withstands whatever pressure it may face, try to nurture it in the following four ways:
1. Forgive Yourself Guilt and parenthood seem to go hand in hand. We feel guilty for things over which we have no control, and we repeatedly kick ourselves for things we feel we should have handled better. Yet self-recrimination can cause us to build walls of silence around ourselves, isolating us from the love we so desperately need. More often that not, our feelings of guilt have nothing to do with anything we actually did. In Always, a book of inspirational stories of marriage, Betsy Holt and Mike Yorkey relate the story of Rick and Laurie, who lost their infant son to SIDS. Laurie felt she was to blame for not ministering CPR correctly, and, overwhelmed by guilt, she cut herself off from Rick and everyone who loved her. Once she realized how hurtful she was being, she opened up. Simply voicing her guilt helped to alleviate it, and with her husband’s support she forgave herself. They were then free to deal with their grief together.
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McKinney Woman | November/December 2008
In a similar way, though I knew I could not be labeled "guilty" for my son’s health problems, I was nonetheless tortured as I watched him grow weaker and was unable to help. Voicing these feelings seems to put them in perspective and minimizes their ability to throw us into despair. Sometimes, though, we feel that we can trace our children’s problems back to our actions. Maybe you worry that your child wouldn’t be so belligerent if you hadn’t worked so much, or that your baby wouldn’t be so fussy if you hadn’t given up nursing. It’s easy to second guess ourselves, but blaming ourselves does nothing to help the situation. Forgive yourself, and free up your emotional energy to be there for those who need you.
2. Forgive Your Spouse Anger can be just as destructive to a relationship as feelings of guilt. My heart feels sick at some of the heartbreaking stories that hit the news. The father hits a patch of ice and his son is thrown from the car. A little girl wanders from a family picnic and drowns. Such things seem so difficult to forgive. Usually the infraction is far more mundane, such as the workaholic husband who leaves his wife to deal with their children’s behavioral problems herself. Yet whatever the offense, you will never be able to form a family that supports unconditionally if you remain angry. If your partner’s infraction is one of deliberate abuse, you must first ensure that your children are safe. But if abuse does not enter the picture, forgiveness is the only route to peace. www.northtexasmagazines.com
Best of all, forgiveness has a side effect that nothing else can deliver: it brings a marvelous freedom to both parties. Your partner is set free to parent, unencumbered by the need to "make amends", and you are free from the cycle of bitterness which demands a retribution which can never be paid. After all, unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting someone else to die. You may be protecting your need to be right, but you give up your only chance at freedom.
3. Show Love to Your Partner One of the hardest things to do when you are exhausted, worried about a child, or grieving is to focus on someone else. Yet relationships need constant nourishment, especially through the hard times. One way you can do this is through small acts of kindness. Even if you don’t always feel love towards your partner, if you can make the effort to demonstrate it, you build goodwill. These acts of kindness don’t have to be elaborate, but they must speak his or her language. I love backrubs, but my husband would rather sit alone and read. If I rub his shoulders, I make him feel more annoyed than appreciated. Ask your spouse what makes him or her feel loved, and then try to do one or two of these things a day.
4. Find Solutions Now you’re ready for the biggest challenge of all: finding agreement on how to handle the challenges you face. When parents agree on a course of action, whether it’s about discipline for a rebellious teenager, or about treatment options for an ill child, life is much smoother than when parents do not. Yet what do you do when you reach an impasse? When Julie and Jim’s son Matt began exhibiting serious behavioral problems, they disagreed on how to discipline him. Julie, who grew up in a loving home, believed she had more insight than Jim, whose parents were often distant and uncaring. "Sometimes I would just shout to get my way, I was so sure I was right," Julie told me. "But when nothing worked, we realized nobody had all the answers. Now we try to work things out together." If you have talked until you’re blue in the face and you still disagree, find a third party to help, such as a minister or a counselor skilled in family therapy. Don’t just acquiesce without believing in your heart that you are doing the right thing, or you risk throwing up that “I told you so!” line if things turn out badly. Keep talking until both of you are at peace. Though we may wish it, none of us will have a storm-free life. A strong marriage is one of the best tools you have to help you through a crisis, so dedicate yourself to preserving it at the beginning of difficult times. Then, when all is over, you know you will still have each other. Sheila Wray Gregoire is the author of four books, including To Love,
Honor and Vacuum: When you feel more like a maid than a wife and a mother. She blogs at http://tolovehonorandvacuum.blogspot.com.
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November/December 2008 | McKinney Woman
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