Save the marriage – How and Why There are 311,000,000 results displayed by Google when you search for “ save
the
marriage”. This shows an alarming trend of broken marriages and hurt egos among couples who have no clue what went wrong in their relationship and are frantically searching for solutions to make amendments. In fact, the organizations offering solutions, therapies, counseling and guides to save the marriage are taking the structure of an organized industry. If you have a problem, ranging from petty issues like whose duty is it to help with the kids’ homework, to a more complex and serious ones, like infidelity and infertility- you can expect help in all forms. From the free and more widespread “relationship issues” columns in magazines, to the more expensive couples therapy sessions- you can opt for any of them, depending on your budget and preferred level of discretion. It is interesting to note that couples usually do not opt for professional counseling till they are convinced that their relationship would not work. In other words, they tend to avoid confronting the problem and its seriousness to the point that the marriage faces the risk of breaking up. Though it makes you wonder why they would not visit a counselor earlier to save the marriage, it is important to understand the aspect of human psychology which prevents an individual from taking the entire blame for a failed relationship. This leads to avoiding painful and difficult confrontation with their own shortcomings. More often than not, the common problems in married life are all the same. Whether it is ego clashes, or lack of personal space, or difference in choice and opinions- issues are all the same. But it does not mean that all the marriages can be brought back to track with the same solution. Different things work for different marriages, and at different stages. There is hardly any “perfect solution” which can claim to save the marriage with a guarantee. The solution depends on a number of aspects, the most important being willingness of the partners. It is futile to save the marriage only when one partner wants to, while the other has already made up his or her mind to move out. Marriage is an association of two individuals, and only when both of them want it to work, it builds up a solid foundation of love and understanding, which is the key to build a lasting marriage.