MARS’ HILL VO L U M E 2 1 ISSUE 4
FEAR
H OW TO DE F EAT EVIL CLOWNS
BRE AK IN G T H E S IL E N C E T O GE T H E R
“BECAUSE YOUR L I FE D E PE N D S O N I T. ”
L G BT QI A L U M N I S H A R E T H EIR T WU S T ORIE S
PG. 12
PG . 1 0 - 1 1
NOV E M B E R 2, 2016
BOMBERS HYPE AND WH Y Y OU C AN’T F I ND A S EAT AT T H E GAMES P G. 16
COMMUNITY CORNER
3
C O M M U N I T Y CO R N E R DE-CLASSIFIEDS
SUBMIT YOUR DECLASSIFIEDS AT: WWW.MARSHILLONLINE.COM/DE-CLASSIFIED
Did you ever get your pumpkin spice latte girl with brown hair? #dontletthestorystop
Anyone want to adopt my GPA because I can’t raise it anymore When you remember that jet fuel can’t melt steel beams... Found a wallet in Fraser lounge and asked myself, “WWJD?”... Turned it into wine… Hey so like I have been in the Himnal but no one has asked me out yet.............. I love that this year, people are actually writing letters to the editor. Wang Wang’s article: “Summa Identitatis” was Supa Fantitastic. can the special really be special if it’s the shortest line at the caf 100% of the time when you overhear someone talking about @overheardtwu #inception Still looking for my professor crush, got any suggestions? Roommate: “I’m so tired, I’m going to sleep like a log” Me: “Logs don’t sleep, they sLUMBER” Is there anything creepier than someone running towards you with a giant smile on their face? Ya, someone walking really slowly towards you with a giant smile on their face.
4 single ladies living in an apartment together... surrounded only by male apartments. I see what you’re doing TWU. #single4thyearproblems
To the guy that friendzoned my friend: you don’t even know what you’re missing out on #noringbyspringforyou WE LOVE NANCY! <3 #sodexo
Ask Carrie Noort to pronounce “Lelem’s”. You will not be disappointed.
freezing chocolate chips makes them more healthy
To the three guys who hang out and play the piano in the cafe and tell funny stories and jokes, you guys are great and hilarious and always make my day, thank youu.
I AM LOOKING FOR AN ADVENTURE BUDDY. IF YOU LIKE TO ADVENTURE MEET ME IN THE BACK 40 AT 2 AM FRIDAY THE 13TH
All I want is a new profile pic taken by Tori Nikkel
I had to open Facebook when maintenance came to look like a normal student, no way I want them to see I’m playing Club Penguin.
been eating nothing but all bran and bananas for two days and i could really use some of those laxatives from the douglas water cooler Did you know Lincoln Nikkel’s name spelled backwards is Lekkin Nlocnil? Am I the only one who wants TWU Chapels to get a little more Pentecostal? #HolySpiritcome Not that we don’t appreciate the shevangelist, but the ratio of girls to guys is like 3:1. So I think girls need to see the limited available men. We all know there are a lot of available girls.
I think we all know at least one Bogress When people give me compliments I feel like a vending machine trying to accept a wrinkly dollar Careful Dan Squires, you’re standing on lava. --very single, very attractive bachelorette
Since when did MH become such liberal trash? First attacking community, now the sacredness of sex? #WhenDoesItEnd David Ellis stop mooning people while you’re napping
BOB KUHN ACCEPTED MY FRIEND REQUEST ON FACEBOOK!
Dear boys that we pranked in Douglas, we were kind of sad that you never got us back. Sincerely, a very disappointed girls dorm. Shoutout to that one cafeteria lady who always gives me a discount on my salad. Lettuce be friends.
Could I just start a conversation with some random guy through the De-Classifieds? That would be the cutest thing ever. Someone respond to this next time! Let the romance begin. Sincerely, your Juliet
Want a dirty costume? Dress up as one of my professors, they barely cover anything important if i see error 404 on the trinity website one more time i’m gonna start throwing things To whoever continuously clogs the lc women’s bathroom... Learn how to use toilet paper and how to flush properly! Thank you I keep thinking I see Jared Barkman around campus and am consistently disappointed Only Cal Townsend would write on a students forehead with a whiteboard marker and then kiss them on the forehead #IDIS400 Whenever the lights flicker: “WILL??? IS THAT YOU HONEY?” Top quality in a girl: When she spells “definitely” right #letsgetSMASHed was such a missed opportunity by the Theater publicity team. Both arms up if you enjoyed your morning poop today! God Bless James the sushi chef Both arms up if you enjoyed your morning poop today!
To the editor of the de-classifieds: I’m sorry. ^ I forgive you. - Joey Schweitzer, Editor of the De-Classifieds For some reason whenever I see a big, round, curvaceous peach all I can think about is Connor Green… The declassified to my right is FALSE So ready for all the basic white girls in their cat costumes!! I’d like to thank Kraft Dinner and tap water for giving me a break from caf food from time to time. To every girl interested in Riley Voth: He is hosting a to-the-death hunger games on the Rec Field. Winner automatically wins his hand in marriage. November 25th 7 PM. Weapons provided. I secretly wish death on everyone that calls me “buddy”. When a student pulls in with their new BMW: “Dang, I wish I had rich parents too.” I think of you whenever I pass the dumpster outside the LC :) Remember that time when that dentist shot that lion? I like climbing trees. Tall trees. Strong trees. I like climbing Matt Hayashi. You can tell it’s a first year because of the way it is #neature
Mars’ Hill editors reserve the right to edit or reject submissions based on content and/or length. A printed submission does not necessarily reflect an endorsement of any kind, nor does it necessarily reflect the opinions of Mars’ Hill staff, the student association, or that of the University. In fact, probably not.
NOTICE OF CORRECTION:
On pg 9. of the October 19 edition of Mars’ Hill, the word “sequel” of Eric Stein’s article “The Sequel as Myth” was misspelled as “sequal.” Mars’ Hill regrets this error.
DID MARS’ HILL GET CANCELLED?
Don’t despair if there is no paper in two weeks from now! Mars’ Hill is skipping a week because of Reading Break. We will be back with Issue V on November 23!
POLL Want to know what the community really thinks about important issues on campus? Participate in the anonymous Mars’ Hill poll and find out the results in the next issue.
This week: Do you think same-sex relationships are morally permissible?
YES NO UNSURE Answer the poll on the front page of marshillonline.com!
“The perfect pancake.” - Mackenzie Cameron
IDENTITIES AND THE VERB 'TO BEâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;
14
ARTS & CULTURE
THE UNACKNOWLEDGED EPIDEMIC “I’m so tired of being alone” - Blue Moon by Beck
CHARLOTTE ELSON This summer I arrived home in Toronto after a breakup, without a job, seemingly far away from my friends and anyone that understood me. Something began holding me down with the weight of the world. I felt as though I was living in a vacuum, screaming for help, and no one could see me or hear me. What I was feeling at the time was crushing loneliness. A study by the Mental Health Foundation on loneliness found that the biggest group experiencing loneliness was the 18-34 age category, not the over 55’s. The report also found that younger generations seem to be getting progressively lonelier. Loneliness is linked to stress, depression, alcoholism, suicide, cognitive changes and early death. If we are the loneliest group of people, why does confessing to feeling lonely
seem like a cringe-worthy admission to make? Social media makes for the creation of certain perceptions about each other that are not always accurate, one of these things being whether someone is lonely. Our society rewards self-reliance and independence, and loneliness runs counter to that. This stage of life is also characterized by movement: relationships at home, at school, from camps, summer jobs, outreach projects, and semesters abroad. It can be a tough thing sometimes to have a group of solid, close friends everywhere we go, and even that is not always enough to quell feelings of loneliness that seep in from time to time. Emily White’s memoir, Lonely, is about her struggle with “harrowing and horrid” loneliness despite normal schooling, career opportunities, and friendships that
ebb and flow. White began to research loneliness and how it manifests in people, almost as a way to try and overcome it in herself. She concludes that “what I need is the comfort that can be provided by someone else. I’m not able […] to write an end to my own loneliness story. This ending has to come from outside.”
admits that it’s only Danielle keeping her loneliness at bay. “If Danielle were to leave, I would be utterly and unmanageably alone,” she writes.
There is the perception that being in a relationship means the absence of loneliness, particularly for the 18-34 crowd, the time when forming romantic relationships and finding a partner seems paramount. Tom Hanks said that his lifelong loneliness ended the day he met Rita Wilson: “I don’t think I’ll ever be lonely anymore, that’s how I felt when I met my wife.” In Emily White’s struggle with loneliness, it seems to end when she meets and moves in with her girlfriend Danielle. Yet in the prologue, she
I came out of my summer a lot happier and more connected than how I began it. Loneliness is not something that plagues only the socially awkward, the introverts, or the depressed. Everyone experiences loneliness in their life to some degree. Let’s become better at admitting it.
Googling Emily White updated me on her life since writing these words—she did, unfortunately, split from Danielle. I wonder where that leaves her now.
On Ice Cream and Death BAILEY MARTENS Seventeen: they say “young and free” but I was weighed down by death. I faced mortality head on, as I was told I had only two years to live. In an instant, I went from a girl with her whole life ahead of her to making bucket lists and growing up. I didn’t want a trip to Disneyland or to swim with sharks. All I really wanted was to get to live, but I didn’t know how. There is no guide book for how to deal with being sick; I had no road map to chronic illness. I dropped everything. I walked away from treatment in order to find out why I wanted it in the first place. Pokes and prods were trivialized in my life. How do you straddle the line between staying alive and living? I used to think we could run away from being sick but we can’t. You can run to a
place that shows you why it’s important to be alive. Bare feet and skeletons are native to me. Summers were spent in isolation with squeaky clean surfaces, not at beaches with sun on my face. I moved to an island. No hand sanitizer, fluorescent lights, or visiting hours. I moved out of the hospital. I worked in a small ice cream store on a quaint island. I helped hundreds of kids a day who couldn’t reach the counter to count their shiny pennies. For a girl who never had a childhood, giving one to others felt like the missing piece to a puzzle I never knew I needed. I gave joy in the form of double scoops. And maybe life is like an ice cream cone; mine is at least. You can eat ice cream in Antarctica and it won’t melt one bit, or you can have an ice cream on a summer’s day and it will drip down the side of your hand and you will be stained
by the colour that is left by it. But ice cream in the sunshine has purpose that it doesn’t in Antarctica. It leaves a trail to be remembered even if it doesn’t last as long: it’s appreciated in the moment. I want to be an ice cream on a summer’s day. I want to live a life outside of the grey walls of a hospital wing because that doesn’t feel like living at all. I went into this summer thinking I would end it with a big revelation that would allow me to walk back into a hospital, to hook up an IV and start my next dose of whatever the next shot in the dark is. I’m not there and that’s okay. It takes bravery and candor to walk away even if you’re stumbling. I know now
“Picking a good picnic spot without any emperorrs standing in my sunlight.” - Mary-Joy
that people will hold my hand and hold me up when they have to. Being sick is less of a burden than I was originally led to believe. If you can, get away. Go to the mountains. To an island. Anywhere. Learn why you want to live and not just because you are scared of the alternative. Have an ice cream or two along the way.