Volume 22 Issue 9: Paradox

MA S’ M A RS’ H I L L

PA R A DO X VOLU LUM E 22 22 VO ME

ISSUE 99 ISSUE

EB.. 221/ 1/ 18 18 FFEB

FROM THE EDITOR

MARS’ H I L L

I’ve come to realize a few things about the nature of journalism:

MARS’ HILL Mars’ Hill is a student publication of Trinity Western University, floated with funds raised by the Student Association. Mars’ Hill seeks to be a professional and relevant student publication, reflecting and challenging the TWU community, while intentionally addressing local, national and international issues.

MISSION TO MARS The mission of Mars’ Hill, as the official student newspaper of Trinity Western University, is to inform and entertain its readers, cultivate awareness of issues concerning the TWU community and provide a forum for purposeful, constructive discussion among its members in accordance with the Community Covenant, Statement of Faith, and Core Values of the University.

EDITORIAL POLICY Mars’ Hill encourages submissions and letters to the Editor. Mars’ Hill reserves the right to edit submissions for style, brevity and compatibility with the Mission, Statement of Faith, the Community Community Covenant, and the Core Values of the University.

Anonymous authorship of any material may be granted at the discretion of the Editor-in-Chief.

Opinions expressed in Mars’ Hill belong to the individual authors and do not necessarily reflect those of the editorial board, Trinity Western University, its officials or its Student Association.

CONTRIBUTORS Alex Gust Monique Bouchard Andrew Brookes Becca Carsience David Coulter Samuel Chan Sharon Roy Hannah Ahrendt Emmett Hanly Heather Collins Monica Rawlek Elizondo Jordan Max-Brown Aubree Farrell Kate Nundal Kennedy Dragt Cathy Shields

- If you don’t have thick skin, you probably won’t make it.

- You have to be quick on your feet.

- Care what others think of you?

Throw that out the window...you’ll have to approach everything and anyone and take on situations that put you at risk for everything from humiliation to fame.

- You’ll have no life. If my student leadership grant of approximately $0.10 an hour doesn’t prove that, I don’t know what does.

Now these facets are unique to the industry, and can be seen in both positive and negative lights. There’s a plethora of really great things about journalism too. My point is that I’m not in love with any of these things. It’s just the way I am.

So I write these letters from me to you, and I often find myself struggling to submit them to Alex for review. I always ask, “Do you think they’re stupid?” to which he replies, “Katie, no. It’s your thoughts.” Maybe I just care too much about what you think?

For me to step into this role, it felt a bit uncomfortable. In fact, it was really uncomfortable. But, I guess, so is putting yourself out there, sharing your thoughts and opinions with the world. Of course you’ll get feedback, but nonetheless the format in which I receive it, is different.

Try combing through the Declassifieds for your daily critique.

It’s not like I don’t have a voice, and apathy remains one of my biggest enemies. There are plenty of problems with our school and with the idea of an institution as a whole. I could write a novel on my struggles and concerns here. If anything, this role has provided the stage to understand and observe those problems in a way that many other roles could never provide.

I struggle with the expectations that were placed on this role from the get-go. Will she be like last year’s “liberal trash” (declassified’s words, not mine) or, will she be the good Christian girl we know she is? From the moment I stepped into my first interview, I was overwhelmed with a sense of anxiety. I knew the TWU community was up in arms about the way the paper was handled in the past, and I was nervous I wouldn’t know how to take the reins.

It’s as if every EIC has to be an English major, a Philosophical guru, and out to get the good stuff. And by that I mean juicy gossip, and the deets on the school. Is Bob Kuhn really qualified? How come Sodexo food sucks so much? What about the Community Covenant? Why do we even still have it? People wanted, and still want, answers and stories.

One could say that one perspective is trying to tell the news of the school because it’s our job. As Mars’ Hill, we cover and break news, we tell you what is going on, and we try to tell it with truth.

7600 Glover Rd, Langley, BC, V2Y 1Y1 604-513-2109 marshill@gmail.com www.marshill.ca

STUDENT MEDIA ADVISOR

Where I draw the line, and where I think many journalists today don’t draw the line, is when it stops being truthful and starts becoming pointless. If that’s what you want to see, then I’m not your person.

Don’t get me wrong - I’m all for dialogue. In fact, you might not agree with me on many points in this LFTE (that’s shorthand for this thing you’re reading). I want to talk to you about this, but I see no point in raising fingers, yelling, screaming and acting unjustly about it. Our job is to cover the news and tell it truthfully.

According to the standards of journalism today, you are out to tell a story, and tell it with a spin. Good news hardly sells, and it’s the facts and gossip that people want to know. It’s what you’ll read. You’d rather hear the juicy tale of how admin eventually decided to tear down Fraser Hall next year (this is a completely false statement), than for you to receive an email saying “We are tearing down Fraser Hall next year.”

If you think the paper should be one way, and you’re not seeing it that way, I ask that you reconsider the way this all works. In fact, every EIC and team is different, and every writer who contributes is unique.

Perhaps then, it is meant to be an anomaly.

The point of all of this, is to show you what a crazy paradox this entire paper is, and perhaps what roles at Trinity are too. It’s a crazy thing that I ended up here, and while I may be qualified, the role in itself is conflicting, and to be honest a bit of a mystery. With applications and interviews coming up this week, it’s both exciting and bewildering to think of what will come next.

Until next time,

Loranne Brown

Katie This issue brought to you by Sidra’s Pizza Katie’s Hooch Mambo Numba 5 Scrodinger’s Cat No. 9

THE TEAM

ALEX GUST

Managing Editor

BROOKE PATTYN Layout Editor

TORI AHRENDT Visual Editor

JAMISON DERKSEN Sports Editor

NIKI MARA

Academy Editor

JOEL REDEKOP

Arts & Culture Editor

SABINE HENDERSON MAYA JUSMAN Humour Editor

Illustration Editor

HANNAH DEVRIES Chief Copy Editor

MADISON POWERS Photo Editor

What instantly makes you suspicious of someone?

BAILEY MARTENS Web Editor

DAYNA SLUSAR

Social Media Manager

CHRISALEEN CIRO News Editor

RYAN SCHAFFRICK Advertising and Finance Manager

DE-CLASSIFIEDS

Dirk DeWaal is aight.. But the real prize is his 4th year friends. I see you KDDKKS

Just putting out there, as if it’s not obvious enough, Chrisaleen Ciro is awesome

“Shakespeare married an older woman!” *individual in class cat calls* Nice Trinity, nice

Shout out to the security guard who waited 30 seconds before testing the fire alarm so I could finish boiling water for my tea- bro level 10

if it please ye, might you put thought towards the group of musical persons who blessed us with grand talent who go under the pseudonym referring to the more majestic creatures of the ocean deep as to not lose their memory

Can we have gospel praise chapel every week? That was insane! I’m not even joking I want that every week!!

“Why I’ve been Struggling with Christianity,” lacks depth? Send me a PM and we can chat one-on-one about depth :)

Whoever put the tinyurl for Rick Astley here, you got me

Praise chapel was SO good!!! I was floored!

“I’m all for the legalization of Marijuana, I miss the Lincoln Nikkel hype. Haha he’s 420, Hell yeah!” - Cal Townsend only a 6... /5 Wondering how many Catholics are hidIs Madi Evans single? ing on campus, and how many are cute boys. Thanks @krazian17 can’t decide which is prettier, you or your hair....

I’ve never actually been taken out for Valentine’s day. Galentine’s day is just so I like the surface level mars hill over the much more rewarding. liberal trash that it was last year. when did we become so selfish that we The housing deposit is $500 this year. no longer acknowledge someone’s hurt Thanks Barkman. even though we know it’s there?

Sodexo prices are rising.

Thanks Barkman

my roommate is a great roommate but no longer a great friend.

I didn’t get a ring by spring.

Thanks Barkman.

Read and meditate on Psalm 23 as you walk around the pond (:

I just dropped my phone in the toilet.

Thanks Barkman.

Note to self: a PDF and a PFD are two very different things

I am in full support of TWUtter.

You have stumbled across a rare declassified not submitted by Andrew Richmond! Publish now or have bad luck for 10 months

Lost in the secular sauce are we not?

I wish TWU had a cool athletic name instead of the common “Spartans”... the smaragdine tide, the goshawks, the snapping turtles, the blundstones? The possibilities are endless A new word: “Fawk” Used when you are feeling like a disgruntled bird of prey: “Man, I am feeling fawked” Mack Weins = weiner Confessions of a fourth year: I’ve never bought soap. dish soap or hand soap. #thanksroomies. #soapsnitch Confessions of a fourth year: I’ve never bought toilet paper. #free1plyfordays Is anyone else sick of the Douglas boys rad? people who are loud outside at night STOP MY ROOMATE LITERALLY CRIED when preview kids are more relevant than 4th years it’s vaLENTine’s day!

why is volleyball so popular here? is everyone just fans cause they win or do people actually like volleyball?

COMMUNITY CORNER

3

LOOKING TO CONTRIBUTE? WANT TO SUBMIT A DECLASSIFIED?

Go to marshill.ca

Mars’ Hill editors reserve the right to edit or reject submissions based on content and/or length. A printed submission does not necessarily reflect an endorsement of any kind, nor does it necessarily reflect the opinions of Mars’ Hill staff, the student association, or that of the University. In fact, probably not.

Have a problem with something we’ve published?

Want to respond to something someone’s written?

Comments? Questions? Criticisms?

SEND US A LETTER TO THE EDITOR AT MARSHILL@GMAIL.COM Your response letter may be published in the paper at our discretion.

You may choose to be published anonymously

In this issue ...

5 10 14

LET ME BE AN ANOMALY Feature

17

WHY WATCH IF IT ISN’T A COMPETITION OF THE BEST? Sports

Jesse Van Reese.....why is that name just so unbelievably delicious?

What does a T-rex and Daniel Schweitzer have in common......oh wait... nvm Daniel has some Huuuge Biceps.

Matt Dickerson is lost in the secular sauce The old TWU matchmaker was better. If you’re still out there... I miss you!

Was anyone else one of the 8% of kids with Jonah Hill’s problem I’m Superbad?

RIP @overheardtwu If we prioritize fixing lighting on campus, where are the couples going to make out at?

I used Monique’s website to find the link to vote for MacKenzie when they add you to an 84-person group message – Sabine Henderson

TWUSA EXECUTIVE RESULTS News

WHAT ON EARTH DO WE DO WITH THE RELIC OF SAINT FRANCIS XAVIER? Arts & Culture

4 NEWS CHRISALEEN CIRO chrisaleen.ciro@gmail.com

CHRISALEEN CIRO We all follow TWUSA’s Instagram account. We love it when we see members of TWUSA refer to each other as the “fam.” But, perhaps it triggers some deep monarchic instinct inside of our loyal Canadian souls. While it might be an exaggeration to say that TWUSA is Trinity’s royal family, TWUSA’s cohesion and popularity gives us something to aspire to, and a profound sense of stability. We want to believe that those who are the external face of our community and who make decisions on behalf of our community, get along behind the scenes.

MONARCHIC TENDENCIES However, despite their limited control, TWUSA, in the interest of maintaining their relationship with these external bodies, often becomes the face of popular change and the un-popular status quo.

This explains why the platforms of the candidates who have previously been on TWUSA are far less tantalizing.

Frankly, it is because they are uniquely aware of what is realistic, and what is truly part of the purview of TWUSA. This perceived inaction on TWUSA’s part, even if action is not always its mandate, is the reason many members of our community are disillusioned by student government. TWUSA elections have often been called a popularity contest. Essentially, this is a crass, but accurate description of democracy. We talk about the popularity issue as though it is inherently evil—without taking the initiative to evaluate it. The reality is most of

us vote for the face we can recognize.

The voter supports those whose hearts, minds and intentions they know can support.

There are two critical issues with friendly voting and hiring practices. Firstly, and this may seem obvious; we may not actually end up electing, nor hiring, qualified people. Therefore, this causes the team to rely on, and occasionally abuse, creatives and skilled members of our community. Second, we tend towards an overrepresentation of extroverts who are strong communicators, with expansive support systems. This is a detriment to our community because we lose the perspectives and wisdom provided by other personality types.

Finally, we turn to the impact that campaign season can have

Unfortunately, the Trinity community’s reverence for TWUSA and student leaders in general, neglects the fact that TWUSA members have highly limited power. Members of TWUSA are responsible for advocacy, but not necessarily operationalization. In other words, TWUSA members pass on the concerns of the students to external bodies such as the administration, Intercultural Programs, the Learning

on the individual voter. This community, because of so many factors—our common faith, and our community covenant—uniquely values integrity, passion, involvement, and authentic advocacy. However, TWUSA elections ask us to use these characteristics in the service of a specific candidate. Several candidates elicit votes by telling voters: “You are an influencer,” and “You are a person of significance on this campus.”

As a result, we feel loved, we feel heard and we feel convinced. However, we are not always compelled to vote or to endorse by an understanding of who would be the best representative for our community.

The purpose of this article is not to make you vaguely annoyed with TWUSA, or TWUSA candidates. Instead, it is to encourage you as a voter to evaluate your attitude and approach towards advocacy on campus. Do you hire someone based on how well they “fit” within the group cohort? Do you vote for your dear friend? In order to address this issue, we need to acknowledge that it is hard. Even in the privacy of your own “voting booth,” or in this case, your laptop, it is hard to reject your friends.

It is hard to imagine that someone else could be better qualified to implement your friend’s vision. Do you acknowledge the role you could play in both advocacy and operationalization by partnering with organizations around campus such as Intercultural Programs, OneTWU, TWURise, Mars’ Hill or TWUSA itself, before you resort to cynicism?

Many of us enjoy a simplified, heavily filtered (both Instagram and otherwise), understanding of TWUSA. As we face a year of transition, however, with a new head of Student Life, significant staff turnover, and the impending Supreme Court decision, it is imperative that students— whether they are called to be leaders by God or Student Life—take every opportunity to advocate for each other.

Commons and Sodexo, but have limited control over how these concerns are addressed.

TWUSA BYLAW AND POLICY UPDATE ALEX GUST This past semester, TWUSA proposed multiple changes to its bylaws and policies. For bylaws specifically, at the TWUSA business meetings of January 23rd and 25th, it was moved that TWUSA add a second representative to the Faculty of Humanities and Social Sciences, splitting the role into two distinct representatives – one for Humanities, one for Social Sciences. Within the meeting, it was explained that having two representatives would allow for better representation for each faculty’s unique interests, as the number of students continues to grow.

As per TWUSA bylaw, each faculty con-

taining over 200 students must have an elected representative within the TWUSA council. As both the Social Sciences and Humanities majors both surpass 200 students and have for multiple years, the 2017/18 TWUSA team believed that it was long overdue for this split to occur.

This change, like all TWUSA bylaw changes, needs to be passed by the acting TWUSA council, then also needs to be passed by the TWUSA Senate, and then needs to be published to the student body for two weeks to maintain transparency. Finally, it needs to be approved by the Office of the Provost.

As well as the HSS change, TWUSA made some changes to its policy manual, which do not need to be approved

by any third party. These policy changes are primarily election-related, and the important highlights read as follows.

After much debate, the total budget for electoral campaigns was increased from $100 to $150. However, the final amount was agreed upon by the entire council.

An addendum to the ballot section was added, ensuring that no candidate’s names could be linked together on the ballot. This will clarify that even if two or more candidates were to run “together,” linking their campaigns and budgets, that voters could vote for one of the candidates, and not vote for the other(s).

Finally, a change was made to the way

“I was homeschooled” – Holly Gust

current council member endorsement works. Currently, no current TWUSA member can endorse any candidate for a role, to prevent swaying voter decisions. This was changed so that any current TWUSA member who is also running for a position for the next year can, in fact, endorse other candidates if they so choose.

This article’s information was gathered from TWUSA’s business meeting minutes, the official bylaws, and the policy manual – all publicly available on the TWUSA website (twusa.ca) under “Official Documents.” If you are at all interested in the inner workings of the student government, I urge you to explore this section of the TWUSA website.

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TWUSA EXECUTIVE RESULTS MONIQUE BOUCHARD

ELECTION RESULTS

Andrew Lochlan Kimball Josh Klassen MacKenzie Esson Monique Bouchard No Candidate

POSITION

12%

ALEX GUST

ANDREW BROOKES

DAVID COULTER

Becca Carsience 86% No Candidate 14%

David Coulter 48% Monica Rawlek Elizondo 44% No Candidate 8%

Alexander Gust 49% Ethan Letkeman 40% No Candidate 11%

Andrew Brookes Ava Sawatzky Jamison Derksen No Candidate

President

Executive Vice President

VP of Finance

VP of Academic Relations

VP of Student Relations

MAJOR

Business, Minor in Political Studies

Corporate Communications

Business (accounting)

Corporate Communications

Nursing

NICKNAME

Mony

Goose, Al

Brooksie

Becs

D Coults

DESCRIPTION OF YOUR ROLE

Attend meetings and write emails. Lots.

Lead the TWUSA team Represent the student body to administration Try to dress as sharp as Jared Barkman

• Serve alongside and support the TWUSA President • Understand and explore TWUSA’s official documents, and ensure that TWUSA is following them correctly • Mediate formal meetings • Support the entire rest of the team in whatever they need, be a fountain of knowledge • Be approachable, friendly, and fun

• VP of Finance ensures that all TWUSA funds are accounted for and is responsible for confirming that students’ fees are spent wisely and efficiently.

• Creates the student budget • Oversees the Director of Operations • Works with the finance and accounting department within Trinity

• Leader of the Faculty Reps • Contact person for club ratification (creation) • Leader of the Proposal Advisory Committee

The VPSR acts as the voice of the students, ensuring that TWUSA is meeting all of their needs. The role of VPSR is also very marketing focused, presenting TWUSA to the student body through design and branding.

VISION AND GOALS

To maximize TWUSA’s strength as a team, there must be a focus on hospitality, accountability, and continuity. My aim is through a united TWUSA council, we are able to listen to the pulse of the student body and continue to partner with different areas on campus to facilitate belonging and foster an attitude of service.

• Make TWUSA’s bylaws and policies more efficient • Simplify offerings, online forms instead of paper • Facilitate a well-oiled machine of a TWUSA team • Get a better coffee machine • I’m really thinking we should make some dope videos

I aspire to see students’ funds spent in a way that better reflects the student body’s interest and provides more avenues for learning and growth.

I would love to see more sustainable financial planning and controls put in TWUSA.

My vision is to create a team environment based on trust, fun and hard work. I aim to ensure all the Faculty reps that are fully aware of how to do their job well and equip them for their roles.

I want there to be equality and clarity for anyone who wants to bring a proposal forward and to ensure that the money from the proposal budget is equally accessible by everyone.

I want to see TWUSA intentionally seek out common issues students face, so that every student’s Trinity experience can be as awesome as possible! I also want to push TWUSA as a brand, to have everything it produces be both creative and professional.

PAST EXPERIENCE

I was on TWUSA last year, so I know how to accidentally blow every breaker in the TWUSA office. I’ve been an RA, TWU Ambassador, VP of two campus clubs, and student employee, and I have been significantly involved in politics at a federal level. I’ve also been a commuter, so I know the magical feeling when you pull into campus and remember that it’s GMC.

Chapel Media Assistant, TWUSA Events Assistant, Mars’ Hill Managing Editor, TWUSA Senator, drone operator, professional Slacker, Apple fanboy, lived in Douglas for THREE YEARS STRAIGHT (#thuglas), I halfblew-up Robson Underground once...then fixed it “true story” - Mony

• Worked for professional SAMC Rep on TWUSA, service firms: Document Review ComPWC and EY mittee, Peer Instructor.

• Involved in the TWU Student Managed Investment Fund (SMIF) • Part of the Trinity Accounting Association (TAA) • Personal investment portfolio management

Prior to studying nursing, I studied digital design at Prairie Bible College. I believe that my artistic abilities and background, tied together with my passion for Trinity and its students makes me perfect for this role.

HOW CAN STUDENTS HOLD YOU ACCOUNTABLE?

Come talk to me! Accountability is so crucial, and it is one of my favourite parts about the TWU community. It is my intent that TWUSA will be able to continue to clearly show how we are accomplishing our mission, and a huge measure of that success is the feedback we receive from you. Text me - 604 338 2034.

Please, I want to hear your ideas, your complaints, and your thoughts. Keep me accountable in my goals and dedication that I have made to making this vision, this team, and this entire next year awesome!

Email me at alex.b.gust@gmail. com, or text me, 905.467.2236!

I would love more input on where students want their money going and I am always open to suggestions. Always down to grab a coffee and chat with people .

I think the biggest thing Talk to me when you see me is just have conversa- around campus, I would love tions with me. Feel free to hear your concerns! to come and share any ideas or thoughts you may have. And questions too!

I’m happy to answer any questions.

IDEAL CAREER

Professional Ice Cream Sampler

TWUSA Vice President

Start my own investment brokerage firm

Pudding Taster

16% 28% 40% 4%

43% 37% 13% 7%

BECCA CARSIENCE

“I’m gonna do a third year in dorms” – Jamison Derksen

Nurse or Professional Photographer

6

FAILED DIPLOMACY: ALBERTA WINE BAN ON BC SAMUEL CHAN There is no doubt that retaliation on British Columbia’s restriction on federally approved Kinder Morgan’s Trans Mountain Pipeline expansion into BC is necessary. However, Alberta Premier Rachel Notley’s decision to ban BC wines is a horrible diplomatic move that will further divide the two provinces. The impact of the wine ban on BC is significant, with an estimated retail value of $160 million each year in Alberta. Not to mention Premier Notley’s hinting about banning BC craft beers as well.

Here are two NDP Premiers, who are both arguably committing horrific neg-

ligence. First, Premier Notley is acting like a bully to small family-owned businesses in BC, as well as affecting Albertan restaurants which are dependent on imports from BC. BC’s Premier John Horgan’s inaction in merely holding a press conference with no actual retaliation to Alberta’s wine ban and possible craft beer ban, is a show of the BC NDP’s weakness.

At the very minimum, Premier Horgan should fly to Edmonton and engage in talks with Premier Notley before this conflict gets out of hand. But this is more than simply an inter-provincial dispute, as the pipeline is under federal jurisdiction and the Prime Minister has every right to allow the pipeline expan-

sion into BC. Yet Prime Minister Justin Trudeau allows the conflict to linger on and compromises Canada’s national interests in doing so.

Government is supposed to, at least in theory, have the best interest of its citizens in mind. This is, however, nothing more than a political reality show with the Alberta Premier and Prime Minister thinking about their elections in the near future. Additionally, the BC Premier is compromising to BC Green’s anti-pipeline stance in a minority government.

Canada is known for its diplomacy and Canada’s very own former Prime Minister, Lester B. Pearson, earned the Nobel Peace Prize for exactly that, yet either

sides are willing to come together to form any agreement. The BC-Alberta border is not a demilitarized zone, and, thus far, our diplomacy has been slightly more civilized than a high-school debate club. If this BC-Alberta conflict becomes a trade war, the economic costs could reach into the billions, according to Maclean’s magazine. A trade war would cause lost jobs, and significantly impact businesses, which is not something that Canadian citizens want. Further bans will not resolve this issue. Instead, talks between BC, Alberta, and the Federal government that acknowledge both BC's concern for the environment and the necessity of the oil industry for Alberta's survival are necessary.

WHAT THE HECK ARE STOCKS? as globalization has inevitably lead to an interdependence in markets.

SHARON ROY What the heck are stocks? For most of us who are not in the business school, stocks are something related to money and markets. Usually, we dismiss the topic very quickly because it tends to be too messy and unstable to deal with. In the end, most students (including myself), blame capitalism, the government or even the illuminati for the corruption or instability that we know is connected to the stock market. We like the idea that the top one percent, who have an immense amount of the world’s wealth, desire to mess with the economy through their monopoly of the stock market.

We like our problems to be simple, and we like to have specific villains. This concept is both true and false.

According to the Oxford Dictionary definition, stocks are the "capital raised by a company or corporation through the issue and subscription of shares." On paper, stocks appear to be simple— almost like cash where you buy certain things in exchange for goods. Stocks, however, work slightly differently. Since the value of stocks are decided by the people who are buying and selling in the market, the value is very volatile. In fact, stocks are priced at a value that the market thinks or predicts its value to be. This is the reason why the stock markets can fluctuate so radically, which ultimately leads to inflation.

In other words, the fluctuation of the market actually changes the value of our money and the dynamics of trade. The heavy losses on February 5th and 6th, where the Dow Jones dropped by 4.6 percent, the Japanese Nikkei index fell by 4.6 percent and the European markets with the Financial Times Stock Exchange fell by two per cent within just the first hour of trading on Tuesday, demonstrate how stocks can fluctuate in value extremely easily. As the United States faced a massive drop, other countries followed almost as a ripple effect

All this can be explained by the simple concept of supply and demand. In the stock market, a lack of buyers to match the large sell orders pushes the price down, making the market “liquid.” As stock prices fall, the government tends to raise interest rates, which simply perpetuate the cycle.

The stock market crash that occurred in early February was nothing compared to the Great Depression of 1929, but both occurred for this same reason. The oversupply in the market could not be met with the number of buyers. The way in which stocks get their value did not help with the process either because many predicted that the prices would decrease. This triggered a "panic selloff" which led to dramatic drops in demand and credit, therefore disrupting trade and the market.

Basically, the market was over-supplied, and our “fat cat capitalist,” top one percent friends decided to “short” the market. Essentially, they bet that the market would continue to fall. This is a way that markets can decline, but some super nerd economist, extremely lucky layman, or member of the one percent, can still make money. But as more people begin to bet that the stock will fall, people get scared, and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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The instability of this system unnerves some people, and rightly so. This system is incredibly unstable and susceptible to panic. Therefore, it is incredibly valuable to become literate in the dynamics of the stock markets, so that the actions of the “fat cat capitalists” won’t scare you. www.studyandgoabroad.com

when they put a poll on their insta story but both options are the same so you think you're choosing your answer but really they're forcing you to conform to their opinions – Andrew Richmond

THE OVERLOOKED

7

VIRTUE OF SOLITUDE

ACADEMY NIKI MARA HANNAH AHRENDT Solitude. Say it out loud. It rolls off your tongue sweetly, ringing out in the air with a peculiar bittersweet undertone that seems to linger just a little too long before vanishing. The thought of solitude brings with it an abstract vision of peace: an empty sunlit meadow in mid-July, a lone cabin deep in the woods by a cackling brook, a silent mountain blanketed with champagne powder.

Though the idea of being alone is different for each person, one theme seems to be rather consistent throughout, and that is the subtle connotation of loneliness. In our fast-paced lives, we have constructed a culture centered around community, and solitude just seems to have no place in it. However, our experience in the Christian community has taught us that we need to make time to spend alone with God, that solitude and isolation are good and even necessary. So how do we reconcile the very real influence of mainstream culture with the seemingly opposite advice from our church?

To begin, it is important to make a few general observations that will hopefully provide you, the reader, with insight into the mindset that I, the writer, am approaching this topic with. First, I must assert that humans are social animals.

We require a rather high level of socialization, and as such, society has formed to reflect that need.

Second, I will mention the influence the economy and our economic structure has on culture and why it is relevant.

Though Canadians tend to be more socialist or liberal than our American counterparts, our culture is built on the same capitalist history, beginning with the Industrial Revolution. With the rise and development of capitalism, specialization as an efficient means to the important end of wealth creation has become widespread. This specialization is embedded so deeply in our society that it cannot be separated.

This means that we are no longer self-sufficient and therefore can no more exist apart from society than jump high enough to reach the moon. As a final point, I will emphasize that no matter what we want to believe, culture outside of the Christian community does, in fact, influence us. This is not a bad thing, but it is true that we have grown up surrounded by mainstream culture and are thus shaped, at least in part, by its goals and values.

Society has existed nearly as long as humans have been around. There is nothing wrong with community. In fact, it can provide us with friends and family with whom we share our lives. Community brings us into contact with people who can provide us with qualities and services that can make our life easier; we in turn can provide the same for them.

This brings us closer to our peers, sets

Veganism – Nyssa Morgan

nicolemara@mytwu.ca up healthy competition, and makes us feel useful and purposeful.

A problem arises, however, when community and socialization are overemphasized. Often, we find ourselves placing too much importance on what we can do for others and what others can do for us to the point where we start to place our value in it. Relationships become for us replacements for the innate desire for spiritual connection with God. Instead of spending time alone with God, we choose the easy way out and seek other relationships to replace the one we desperately need. Setting time aside to spend alone and reconnect with God can remind us of our real worth which lies in Him and not in the world.

This over-socialization stems partially from capitalism. It is very popular, especially in current news, to “blame the system” for the oppression of the individual, and while that can be true in some cases, that is not my goal. It is true that capitalism is, perhaps, not the best guide for the construction of ethics, but it is not ethics that I aim to discuss. Instead, I mean only to bring it in so far as to say that it has created the necessity for specialization of labour. With specialization brings interdependence, and that interdependence wanders from the workplace down into our daily lives with businesses such as grocers and clothing stores providing us with daily necessities.

Specialization then forces socialization onto us. Before the Industrial Revolution, people could be self-sufficient within family and could choose whether or not to be in community and who they wanted to be in community with.

Capitalism has drawn us into cities and suburbs and also produced for us a vast array of technology solely for the purpose of keeping in touch. In this forced socialization, we can feel a loneliness creep into our thoughts and invade our hearts. Often, I have found that the cure for this loneliness is, paradoxically, solitude. This lonely disconnectedness we feel can stem not from a failure to deeply connect with others, but from a failure to deeply connect with ourselves.

Intentional solitude can remove us from the taxing demands of social life while providing us with a place for rest and rejuvenation.

We will often think of solitude as being out somewhere in the wilderness in complete isolation, but this does not have to be the case. Solitude can simply be losing yourself in a good book, going out in a crowded place alone (such as to a mall or grocery store), or even just performing a hobby you enjoy. Spending time alone is incredibly important for your relationship with God and for spiritual growth as well. I would encourage you to build intentional alone time into your daily life to truly experience the renewed outlook that solitude can bring.

8

THE CHRISTIAN DOMINATION OF MARRIAGE EMMETT HANLY A year or so ago, I spent the night with some old friends from high school. We were all strewn about the floor in our sleeping bags, lying in the darkness at 2 a.m. We talked about all kinds of random things and ultimately grew closer as a group of friends. Our conversation, however, seemed to come around to the topic of same-sex marriage and relationships, which is a very divisive subject.

Something one of my friends said really stuck in my mind. “At the very least, I wish they would use a different word for it than marriage.” This sparked a discussion amongst all of us, since we all had differing opinions on the subject. It got me thinking about why the word “marriage” itself was so problematic in relation to this issue.

Marriage has, of course, always been an institution within Christianity and founded theologically through the Christian creation story, where God made Adam and Eve for each other and told them to “go forth and multiply.” However, this kind of union is not unique to Christianity. Many ancient societies have had courtship rituals that either predate or hadn’t been exposed to Christiani-

ty, generally for the purpose of allying families or continuing bloodlines. In the Heian Period in Japan, for example, marriage was generally intended to produce offspring that would rank highly within their lineage. Traditional Hindu practice has eight different forms of marriage. Thus, the word “marriage” does not belong solely to Christians, though Christians have their own interpretation of the word.

While North America is rapidly becoming increasingly secular, our roots still remain largely within a European Christian tradition. Thus, the original understanding of what marriage is stems from the Christian idea: a union of one man and one woman for the purpose of procreation. For the last few hundred years in our culture this has been the most common practice, and it seems that many Christians feel as if they dominate the word “marriage.”

Essentially, the prevalent idea of matrimony in the Christian tradition is that Christian marriage is sanctified in the eyes of God and thus the sole valid form of marriage. Other forms of marriage, then, are discounted. This domination of the word, however, ignores the multitude of human cultures and marriage traditions. In recent years, the Chris-

tian definition of marriage has become known in North America as “Traditional Marriage,” but even this term discounts the other traditions of marriage throughout the world.

Christianity doesn’t own the practice of marriage, and neither does any other particular tradition, religious or otherwise.

What marriage may mean to a Christian isn’t always what it could mean to someone outside of Christian culture, and therefore the Christian idea of marriage isn’t and shouldn’t be the pre-

vailing definition. It has meant many different things to many different cultures throughout history, and the meaning of the word continues to evolve into something different today. This isn’t to say that Christian marriage isn’t valid, but one of many different valid ideas of what marriage is. Since the practice of marriage isn’t owned by any particular culture, the meaning is not constrained to the definitions of any of them in our modern world.

Ultimately, the single prominent through-line is that marriage is a union, and whatever that union means to the individuals involved, is what’s truly i m portant.

ANONYMOUS Yes, it’s true.

I used to be an illegal immigrant in the United States. Actually, I was a “DREAMer,” the son of illegal immigrants who moved to the US. We flew to America with vacation visas when I was seven years old and my parents let the visas expire because we were denied the right to immigrate there. I actually didn’t find out that we were illegally living there until I turned 18.

At that point, I had been living in the US for the majority of my life. Deep down, I felt that I was American, and at that point in time, I believed that I should be given residency because I shouldn’t be punished for the sins of my parents. I also believed that my parents deserved to be given residency anyway, since they were paying taxes and contributing to society.

So why on earth do I now support Trump’s tough stance on immigration?

Isn’t he the deplorable dictator of deportation, the melodramatic master of misogyny, and the “Orange Overlord” of over-the-top tweets? Isn’t this a man that would’ve been happy seeing me and my family cuffed and shipped back to a country that I personally wasn’t familiar with?

Let’s get something straight right off the bat - I don’t love Trump. He has plenty of vices: he often tweets things that stir up pots that don’t need to be stirred; his demeanor, outward appearance, theatrics, and the way he words things are pretty tough to fully support.

It’s also not that hard to see why people say he’s misogynistic, racist, or xenophobic, when he doesn’t watch what he says about anyone. I get now why it’s like a constant Christmas for the liberal media - they report on every little thing he does.

Something changed my mind in 2016.

I always thought everyone should have the right to live anywhere they’d like, but after seeing what was happening in Europe with the migrant crisis—in which several countries, like Germany and Sweden, saw an enormous surge in unemployment, violent crime, and rape—I couldn’t deny that uncontrolled immigration was a bad idea. As a har-

rowing example of the effects of weak immigration laws, a San Francisco jury found the illegal immigrant accused of killing Kate Steinle not guilty of murder.

Jose Ines Garcia Zarate was a Mexican national, seven-time convicted felon and had been deported from the U.S. five times. He went to San Francisco because he knew he would be less likely to be deported because of the city’s sanctuary policies. Zarate admits to shooting and killing Kate Steinle, but he claims he found a gun, then it just went off in his hands.

Nowadays, even I, an ex-illegal immigrant, can relate to Trump. Why does he want to deport illegal immigrants,

Philosophy majors – Tobin Voth

build a wall, and regulate immigration more proficiently? Is it because he’s racist? No. Obama promised these same things when he ran for president, and no one accused him of racism because of the simple fact that illegal immigration isn’t about the colour of anyone’s skin.

I support Trump’s stance on immigration because Trump is like me in one aspect: we’re protective of our homes and the people who legally inhabit them. No one leaves their doors open 24/7 and no one rewards the people that break into their homes, so why is it racist and xenophobic when Trump does the same?

9 HEATHER COLLINS It is no small wonder that during the period of time from January to March, so many of us experience shared feelings of discouragement, bleakness, dysphoria, and overall dispiritedness. These months generally tend to hold the greatest amount of dark brooding skies, cloudy ashen days, and overall outpouring of rain for those of us living along B.C.’s west coast.

As a result, this can often cause a period of lowness for a great deal of people.

During January alone, the Fraser Valley experienced a downpour of rain for 16 consecutive days without a single break in the clouds. Although there is no one answer that easily allows for these feelings of gloominess caused by the elements to disperse, there are a number of strategies one can turn to, when attempting to find the beauty and light in these dusky months.

days of golden sun that occur periodically throughout these dark months.

Taking the time out of one’s day to really appreciate and soak up the much anticipated rays of light, truly helps to build up one’s spirits before the B.C. climate reverts back to its habitual patterns.

As effective as this strategy is at boosting one’s mood and overall uplifting one’s outlook, these welcome days of sun are undoubtedly few and far between. As such, there must be another way we can search out the light in gloomy hours that will stay readily available, unchanged by a fickle climate.

One such means that numerous peo-

ple have reported benefitting from, is that of practicing intentional gratitude and thankfulness. This is not merely within the span of these three months, but additionally on a broader spectrum within their daily life and personal struggles. The benefits of practicing gratitude within one’s daily routine has tremendous benefits. Dr. Robert A. Emmons, a leading researcher in the field of gratitude, has conducted multiple studies on the link between gratitude and well-being.

He confirmed through his research that gratitude and thankfulness effectively increased overall happiness among the individuals involved in h i s

One strategy that I have turned to on recent occasions, is cherishing and storing up the f e w

With lack of natural light in the winter months, our bodies start to feel a deficit of vitamin D, resulting in unexplained fatigue, irritability, and difficulty in thinking. Counteracting the lack of sunlight is not easy, but something as simple as

The ability to cultivate gratitude lies readily available in all of us. The opportunity to do so presents itself every day.

Rather than focusing the majority of our attention and thoughts on the negative and discouraging, or perhaps relentlessly repetitive and mundane aspects of a day, we can shift our centre of attention. We can focus on all that we have been so undeservedly blessed with, and humbling ourselves might hold a great deal of unknown benefits. Looking at life through a lens of appreciation rather than critique and dissatisfaction will surely help us realize all that we have been so blessed by.

In developing an attitude of gratefulness, we can equip ourselves with a sort of impenetrable armour of optimism, as the icy rains of the dark months beat down.

gym. There’s a reason why you’ve heard so many times that working out boosts serotonin levels and strengthens blood flow – it will have an amazing effect on the rest of your day.

NIKI MARA Year after year, we fall captive to the suffocating shades of grey that the winter months relentlessly ensue. I hope I speak for the public when I say that winter and early spring on the West Coast are burdensome in so many ways—no sign of sun, faces are shrouded with black hoods and umbrellas, and the desire to exist falls terrifyingly close to none. It is in the darkest of seasons that we need to feel a boost of warmth, comfort, and belonging. After spending almost three winter seasons in the Lower Mainland, I’ve developed some strategies for keeping myself alive, and wanting to be alive, no matter how many days in a row it rains.

studies, as well as additionally reducing symptoms of seasonal depression. In addition to this, it has been observed that spending 15 minutes of writing on or meditating on grateful sentiments before bed, will lead to a deeper and overall higher quality of sleep.

studying in a well-lit room can give your body the illusion that it is getting sunlight. Thus, thinking and reasoning becomes easier than if you cram school work into late nights under a miniscule string of fairy lights.

As long as the cats and dogs persist in their pouring, we will have to spend most of our time indoors. Instead of longing for a break in the clouds, find it within yourself to enjoy being inside. Enveloping blankets and comforting tea – those things won’t be as inviting once the sun comes out and warms the walls of your

room.

Savour the moment and fall in love with the protection from the elements that your room brings.

With darkness comes the chilly, the cold, the freezing.

Do yourself a favour and wear as many layers as you need to feel warm outside.

For the love of all that is beautiful, don’t sacrifice your well-being for a fashion statement. Nobody will give you the side-eye if your hat and mittens clash, so wear your warmest clothes this year.

Your healthy body will thank you later.

Speaking of keeping warm, go to the

when they watch Logan Paul vlogs – David Coulter

The cold won’t seem so cold and the rain will seem refreshing. And if the whole “cozy room” concept doesn’t have you sold, trust me, after half an hour at the gym, you will be longing to hermit in your room with a book. It’s all a matter of perspective.

And last but not least, change your perspective. There is not a thing in this world that has not been touched by God’s hand. If you see rain, think fertile soil. If you see dark skies, think glowing street lights. In the end, what we see around us is only a piece of the puzzle.

In the words of the brilliant Helen Keller, “The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even heard – they must be felt with the heart.”

10

This is the Schrodinger’s cat of newspaper articles. For this article is, currently, unwritten (aside from the 14 words prior to this bracket). At the same time, however, this article is written. Not in words on a page, but I believe that it exists within my mind waiting to be conveyed to you through this newspaper. So then the first paradox is this: the article both exists and does not exist at the same time. Most would say due to the fact that I have not actually completed this article, means that it does not exist. But existence is independent of completion. We can define things as their parts or as the conglomeration of many parts to make up the whole. And by the time that the pages are printed and the papers are distributed, you will be reading a variety of paradoxes proposed by approximately 1,500 words.

Do you ever walk into a room and just know that you’re the smartest one there? Because if so, please get in contact with me and relay that experience because I certainly have never experienced such a feeling.

And yet here I am, a thriving, slightly above average, outgoing, and eager student at Trinity Western University embarking on this journey of intellectual astuteness.

As a philosophy major, I’ve had more than my fair share of the man that is Socrates, whose story is relayed to us by his student Plato. Now, if there’s one thing that Socrates was known for, it is his proud declaration: “The only thing I know for certain is that I know nothing.” Which, my friends, is another paradox. For one cannot know nothing and yet claim to know that fact to be true. And yet, as I advance through my university experience, this statement that seems rather paradoxical has a resounding ring of relevance to it as well. For there are not very many things that I can claim to know for certain, but I have also come to terms with the fact that I don’t have to.

We can’t even prove the world around us with absolute certainty, for everything could be just as perceived or could merely be a figment of your imagination, the result of some highly advanced computer program, or some sort of matrix that we’re all trapped in.

But, in lieu of the presentation of a red or blue pill, I have found something even better—faith. Faith that the world around us exists independent of my perception of it and faith that there is a point to undertaking this phenomenon called life. It is faith that keeps me carrying on even though it can become all too easy to be overcome by the fact that I know nothing.

And, most importantly, faith in God. That He has called me His beloved, and because of that, I have infinite value independent of my perception of it. And it is my prayer that you may have the faith to believe the same of yourself. Although I am not a betting kind of girl, if I were to make a bet, my bet would be on Christ.

The third paradox is, even though it will both be an unpopular opinion and perhaps not even a paradox, in the traditional definition of the word. This paradox is how La La Land can both be the worst movie I have ever seen and yet be so renowned by critics and the general population alike. This is possibly due to the fact that I’m not in touch with my emotions enough to understand its complexities or maybe I simply don’t get it. Because when it comes down to it, maybe I don’t know enough to “get it” and La La Land is not something in which I would place any faith. So there I’ll stay with a bewildered expression on my face every time someone conveys to me their undying love and appreciation for the “cinematic masterpiece” that is La La Land.

Here is the fourth paradox: Can we know something for certain if presuppositions were required in order for us to draw the conclusions?

(Shout out to my favourite person that I know studied philosophy for one year in Saskatchewan prior to starting pre-med here at Trinity for this idea.) Although this idea could probably justify a master’s thesis, I shall attempt to do it some form of justice.

When they say they get enough sleep – Monique Bouchard

LET BE ANO

11

O M

Everything we know, or think we know, requires presupposition—it is the foundation of our entire knowledge basis. These presuppositions have to be justified, lest we get stuck in our own minds with no drive or reason to do anything in life. One philosopher described these as properly basic beliefs; things that we can believe exist due to the fact that they are so apparent, or because we need them to exist in order to function as a human being. In order to believe that your friend can climb a tree, you believe there is a tree to climb, they have the ability by which to climb it, and that there is an external world (as well as many other things). In order to believe that you love someone, you first have to believe in the concept of love, that you are capable of such an emotion, and that the person is worth loving.

N A IC LE W RA K D

N O IZ

EL O

ME AN MALY

In order to believe anything, you have to believe a number of things that lead up to you drawing that conclusion. I have by no means done this argument any justice, but I leave you with the opportunity to ponder this paradox rather than relying on me—a philosophy student of average intelligence. So think about it—how many assumptions, or presuppositions, do you make in order to believe in anything? You may get stuck with the issue of infinite regress if you’re not careful.

Now, for the last paradox that I wish to address. The paradox of my own life. This, however, may not be a paradox in the traditional sense, but it is close enough to one that I wish to include it. My name is Monica Rawlek Elizondo. I am a follower of Christ. I am a strong and independent woman. I am Mexican and Canadian. I am a student studying philosophy. I haven’t decided on a minor yet. I am a rapper…a philosopher rapper (which sounds like velociraptor). My rapper name is Ca$h Moni, and I enjoy spitting fire in my free time. But how is it that I am supposed to ponder the intricacies of life and compose inspiring and relevant raps? It truly is a paradox, and one that I may never figure out.

But then I stop and think that perhaps this is the 21st century version of what Plato prescribed when he made the assertion that we should turn philosophy into poetry in order that the masses be able to comprehend exactly what it means. So then, perhaps, I will open a philosopher rapper café in which philosophy may be turned into dope raps in order that all the “capital K” Kool “end with a Z” Kidz may understand the wonderful world that is philosophy. So then, here’s a little special feature for you - a philosophy rap.

Now, I would normally ask for suggestions, but due to the time crunch and the fact that you can’t exactly reply to the words I write on this page (except through a savage declassified) I will choose the topic of infinite regress (shout out to Riley Voth for being the quickest to come up with an answer to me proposing “what’s a philosophical conundrum”) If you’d like to rap along, the link to the beat is: http://bit.ly/2CteLCU Here is the problem of infinite regress Learning how we are all to destress How did we become who we are?

Tryin’ to find the answer near and far Let’s look back into our human history Quickly we’ll find out that it’s all a mystery.

Cause and effect, the actions have cause Wait til the end for thunderous applause How far back to look for the action?

What one effect commenced this causal reaction?

Yesterday or the day before Wow this can become a real chore Because how can the past exist If we’re not really aware of it This begs the need for investigation But we don’t have a time machine station Now, this is just a little preview to whet your appetite for when my mixtape drops. If you have any questions pertaining to the timing of the beats, please feel free to ask me and I will gladly drop a beat for you.

“I live in Skidmore” – Martin Garcia

12 ARTS & CULTURE

LET’S TALK FILM:

oscar’s review

JOEL REDEKOP jsaredekop@gmail.com

JOEL REDEKOP KEVIN REDEKOP JOEL: Okay Kevin, so as of last week, we’ve both seen all of the Academy Awards nominees for Best Picture. Let’s start with my favourite film nominated. My pick would probably be Lady Bird. Maybe because I have a soft spot for coming-of-age films, but Greta Gerwig’s directorial debut is next level. I didn’t feel like anyone was acting. It felt so true to life. The parent-child dynamic was so far from perfect, and in that sense, it was perfect.

KEVIN: Yes, Lady Bird is so great! Its writing is superb, so organic and natural. Perhaps my favorite was The Shape of Water. Guillermo del Toro loves his classic movies and fairy tales, with Pan’s Labyrinth of course

a pretty atrocious performance as Frances MacDormand’s son. He’s barely in it, but his screen time certainly left a mark on me.

KEVIN: Yes, shockingly bad dialogue and underwhelming performances throughout! While Frances MacDormand gives a powerful performance, Martin McDonagh seemingly forgot to create any kind of arc for the film’s protagonist. In the wake of the “Me Too” moment, it is undeniably ironic that instead of focusing on giving justice to MacDormand’s character, the focus is given to the two male cops. I love redemption stories, but the arc of Rockwell’s character had little impact on me, mostly because his chief flaw – his racism – went unaddressed.

JOEL: The other two films that I was a little underwhelmed by were Darkest Hour and The Post. I thought The Post was a decent film - and a relevant one - but it felt a little too familiar. It felt like Oscar bait. But it did avoid one thing which I can’t stand in historical dramas, and that is forced exposition. The Darkest Hour certainly has that in spades, persistently explaining why certain events are important as they unfold on-screen.

KEVIN: Personally, I thought Gary Oldman is the best part of Darkest Hour, taking on the role of Winston Churchill so perfectly that I

being an example of his expertise with the fantasy genre. The costumes, set design, cinematography and performances are so breathtaking. I feel like del Toro was able to craft something so meaningful and genuine without relying on cynicism, like Three Billboards.

JOEL: I think we both have a fair amount of salty feelings regarding Three Billboards.

Shape of Water was a middling one for me.

It is well produced; del Toro is a master at creating a vibrant world that flawlessly blends the mundane and the fantastical. But I found the film to be a little shallow. I wanted a little bit more, personally. It’s a feeling I get often with del Toro’s body of work. On to Dunkirk, which was a huge hit this summer. Did you enjoy it as much as I did?

think he’s a lock for Best Actor. Both Darkest Hour and The Post are pleasant and enjoyable, but they didn’t shock me or challenge me as much as some of the other nominees.

JOEL: We have three films left to look at: Phantom Thread, Call Me By Your Name and Get Out. I enjoyed CMBYN quite a bit.

Armie Hammer and Timothee Chalamet’s relationship felt both very real and…kind of bizarre? Although nothing about it blew me away, save its final 15 minutes. As for Get Out, while entertaining, its social commentary is more muddled than most people want to admit. I don’t think we really have enough time to get into that now though.

KEVIN: You hit the nail on the head in that their relationship is bizarre in a way…while other movies like Carol or Moonlight featured heartfelt LGBTQ relationships, the age difference of the two leads made me uncomfortable. I have a suspicion that if Timothee Chalamet’s character was changed to a 17year old girl, the response would be far different.

JOEL: And now for Phantom Thread, which I absolutely loved. Right up there with Lady Bird for me. Daniel Day-Lewis and Lesley Manville’s relationship is so delightfully twisted, their performances – especially Day-Lew-

when they can’t read KJV – Niki Mara

KEVIN: I loved Dunkirk. It shows Christopher Nolan’s technical mastery: the IMAX footage is ground-breaking in its technique.

And it’s refreshing to see a WWII film about failure. And finally Nolan was able to make a film that’s under two and a half hours, with less speechifying. I love The Dark Knight, Inception, and Memento, but often his films are weighed down by these two factors.

Let’s talk about the elephant in the room …

Three Billboards!

JOEL: I feel like you and I are the only people on the face of the earth that weren’t floored by Three Billboards. I liked the unpredictability of its storyline - you never know what was going to happen next - but wow, some pretty awful dialogue in this thing. Lucas Hedges, while excellent in Lady Bird and Manchester by the Sea, gives

is’ – are so intense. Paul Thomas Anderson has yet to make what I would consider even a mediocre film. Fun fact: Christopher Nolan took his kids to see Phantom Thread and they now call him Woodcock when he’s being mean.

KEVIN: I loved that PTA really took his time with developing Phantom Thread’s story.

And I agree, the central relationship is so sick and twisted. Watching it unfold is like a psychotic game of tennis. However, I think parts of this movie could have been trimmed for time.

JOEL: And what do you think will take home Best Picture?

KEVIN: Not just because its my personal favourite, but I think it will go with The Shape of Water; not only because of what’s happening with the Guild Awards, but also because it features a message necessary for contemporary audiences.

JOEL: I would agree Shape of Water stands a high chance of winning. I think we can write out The Post immediately because Spotlight won two years ago, and Call Me

By Your Name, because it bears superficial resemblances to Moonlight. Dunkirk is my dark horse.

13

WHAT STARTED IT ALL DR. SARA L. PEARSON DR. ERICA GRIMM

The desire to pursue the study of a single artform does not come out of nowhere. For any lover of the arts, there is a revelatory moment, or a single work, signifying a point of no return, where art’s power becomes clear. Here, two professors share thoughts on the artwork that led them to pursue it academically. - Joel Redekop Dr. Sara L. Pearson (English Professor) For anyone who knows me, my answer to the question, “What artistic work inspired you to study in your academic field?” will be no surprise: Charlotte Brontë’s 1847 novel Jane Eyre. “What is the reason I find it so compelling?” is a question that I continue to answer in different ways on my life’s journey.

Reading literature inspired me to study literature. As a child, I was drawn to anything “old”: Louisa May Alcott’s An Old Fashioned Girl, the Anne of Green Gables series, and the Little House on the Prairie series. On a day of literary destiny, at an elementary school fair (where my dad was a grade four teacher), I bought a Scholastic school edition of Jane Eyre—probably because of the picture on the cover: it looked “old,” and I liked the dress. I vividly remember reading it for the first time, feeling like I was living the events in the pages. However, the final third of the book when Jane stays with

the family of St. John Rivers, wasn’t as interesting to me, partly because I was desperate to find out what happened to Mr. Rochester. I did something I’ve never done before or since: I looked at the end of the book to see what happens!

While I was pursuing an M.A. in theology at Regent College, Jane Eyre played a significant role in my return to studying English literature. I was writing a paper on the household codes in Ephesians and Colossians (the verses about wives submitting to their husbands, etc.), and I felt compelled to reread Jane Eyre— and not just as a procrastination tactic!

I felt that the Christian ethic of mutual submission described in the commentaries was implicitly articulated in Jane Eyre, that Brontë was defying the cultural norms of her time by not depicting rigidly hierarchical relationships. And I thought, “If I ever do a PhD, the topic of mutual submission in Charlotte Brontë’s novels is the only one I could write about.” And I did.

Why do I find Jane Eyre compelling as a work of art? The plot is satisfying, like literary comfort food, yet there is a richness and

complexity to the story. Every time I reread it, every time I discuss it with others, there’s something new. There isn’t just one Jane Eyre—there are many ways in which she and the other characters reflect our pain, our hopes, and our longings. Charlotte Brontë’s prose isn’t always the smoothest or the easiest to read (Jane Austen is a better writer), but Jane Eyre is a literary masterpiece because Charlotte Brontë was able to imaginatively transform her own lived experience into a compelling fictional story that speaks to all of us at different stages of our lives.

Jane Eyre still makes me laugh and cry; it still makes me think; and it still inspires me to see the beauty in all people, even those whom the world would call “poor, obscure, plain, and little.”

Dr. Erica Grimm (Art Professor) One of my first childhood memories was the sight of the early morning prairie sun rising behind the stained glass windows of Holy Rosary Cathedral in Regina, Saskatchewan. I think I might have been 5, and I recall holding my breath as sequences of unbelievably saturated, transparent colour came alive. Certainly

they have a lazy eye – Tricia Jeranie

this was for me a formative experience, contributing to my identity as an artist. I have spent the subsequent 50 years being curious about, inquiring into and making images about the duo epiphanies that this moment held.

I can trace my love of art to a couple of other early aest h e t - ic experiences. Little Flower, the church down the street from where I lived, contained a life-sized statue of Saint Teresa and a statue of Saint Joseph holding Jesus. I remember them so very clearly, the tenderness in their gestures; to this day, I could draw them.

I also recall my grandmother‘s religious memorabilia and holy cards, particularly those outlining the decades of the rosary, the joyful, luminous, sorrowful and glorious mysteries accompanied by small paintings illustrating these narratives of the life of Christ. I loved these little reproductions. Now of course, I see these illustrations from the school of Warner Sallman as problematically sentimental, but they did, nonetheless, kindle something in my soul. I think maybe these figurative references and sacred spaces did probably influence my early work.

Years later I remember being floored by the work of the Canadian artist Betty Goodwin – her solo exhibition at the VAG was a touchstone for me, as was encountering the Polish artist Magdalena Abakanowicz, and then recently Berlinde De Bruyckere, who is based in Ghent Belgium.

14

WHAT ON EARTH DO WE DO

with FRANCIS the relic of Saint XAVIER? KIRSTEN McALLISTER

“The world was made for the dead,” Flannery O’Connor once said, about how tremendously outnumbered we, the living, are. While indeed there are “a million times more dead than the living,” the minority that is above ground tends to think of their fallen sisters and brothers rather squeamishly, if at all. Preferably the remains of the dead are hidden, burned or, as of a recent slight twist, perfectly preserved and displayed for science (The inauguration of Body Worlds in 1995).

So when St. Francis Xavier’s forearm comes to town and it is neither decomposed nor exactly fresh, religious and secular viewers alike are confronted with an object that defies all of their pre-existing categories for dead people. After a onemonth cross-Canada tour that has been called by Vice “metal as hell,” the 465-year old relic flew back to Rome last week much like a rockstar, being the first one on and off the plane, and received a seat of its own as relics cannot be left unaccompanied.

Although the inclination to keep bits of our ancestors or pay homage to the remains of loved ones is a universal practice with many different expressions, I would not offend most modern North Americans by admitting that I think relics are weird. I, like my nation, was founded on Protestant values which includes things like self-sufficiency and reading the Bible, but not devotion to the dead.

For the sake of others like me, let us

look briefly at what a relic is.

Any body part of a saint, item that belonged to them, or even an object which has touched either of the first two, is considered a relic. They can be thought about as occupying two “places” at once, both the heavenly realm where the saint is with Christ and the earthly one where their body remains. Often incorrupt (not decomposing at the expected rate),

a sacramental theology would explain this preservation of the body as a “continuation of the incarnation,” an event that itself takes for granted that holy lives affect the matter they touch. While the final point is held by all Christians, the difference between the sacramental and superstitious is hard to distinguish, and therefore many Protestants and Evangelicals will have none of it.

But by shying away from saying too much about the connection between spirit and matter, most Protestants (begging the pardon of the Anglicans) have ended up saying too little. Detachment from the physical world has had a much deeper impact than a lot of bad pastoral paintings and the legion of cardboard-boxes that we call our churches. The preference for internal experience is demonstrated by the Evangelical expression of communion which emphasizes the “do this in memory of me,” rather than the “this is my body.” We eat the

bread because it reminds us of our salvation, but we doubt the efficacy of our participation in the gesture itself. But to exclude the material event from theology is to separate our understanding of the world from the divine – a world that is made up of both living and non-living bodies.

The paleontologist and Jesuit priest Tielhard De Chardin states that matter is simply “spirit moving slowly enough to be seen.” As long as Jesus is tucked away neatly in our minds and

not quivering in the earth amongst oil and ore, matter is only an analogy. For many Christians, nature could be made up of plastic plants and we wouldn’t notice as long as we could still tell the parable of the sower with it. In some places this has just about occurred in a literal sense as our oceans increasingly see unnatural islands emerging out of their waters, made up of uncanny conglomerates of plastic bottles and spoons.

Another kind of incorruptible, this one has proven difficult to burn or hide under the land and sea. The world is not only made for the dead anymore, but also for what dead things the living have discarded.

And, like the shriveling hand of Saint Francis Xavier, this matter that neither wastes away nor shines with the

“Kendrick is fine, but J. Cole is amazing” – Joel Redekop

obvious, analogous glory of God, is confounding. Such a hallowed and ugly little thing asks us to look again at what we thought we buried, what did not disintegrate as expected.

This is not so much an a priori argument about the nature of relics and trash as it is a reflection on the parallels of the modern person’s response to both.

When Tielhard served in WWI as a stretcher-bearer, instead of offering up the host when he said mass, he would offer up the whole world. When he held out his hands over the earth, the labour of all humanity would become the body of Christ. The living and the dead, natural and plastic islands alike all caught up in transubstantiation.

Am I talking about magic? Well, if by magic you mean spells recited like recipes to charm matter under our control, then no, this is nothing like magic.

But if by magic you mean the vaults of mystery undergirding all things, shifting like magma beneath our tectonic lives, impermeable and ready to burst up through the cracks like a holy Freudian slip, then magic it is.

Whether the bodies of the saints respire into the dust or remain in their form, whole and well-kissed above the earth, their bodies will touch us some time, one way or another — if they are not already sitting next to us. All matter recycles itself into new bodies, so that when we turn over our soil, or pour milk over Cheerios, we can’t be sure that it doesn’t have some saint in it.

15

AREOPAGITICA What is this page all about?

ONETWU STORIES EVENT:

Things that are accessible to all students, resources for students on campus, evaluating them as well, a place to write whatever you need to/ want to regarding issues with campus, addressing problems, etc.

continuing the conversation CHRISALEEN CIRO

On Wednesday, January 31st, TWUSA partnered with OneTWU to give LGBTQ+ students the opportunity to share their stories with the rest of campus.

After the event we, the event organizers, received the following messages: “Just wanted to say that, as a white straight Christian male, I have nothing but love and respect for you and your community. The Church has the argument wrong. God is our biggest source of love, not other humans.

How can I support y’all?”

“What are ways that those who don’t identify as LGBTQ+ love those who they disagree with on issues such as sexual orientation/marriage/the community covenant/biblical definitions? Is it possible at all? If not, what does Jesus mean when he calls us to love everyone (recognizing you will never fully agree with everyone on everyone).”

Institutions on campus such as OneTWU and the Gender Studies institute often receive questions from the community about how to be an effective ally. I would argue that you may already know how to be an ally. Being an effective ally is a lot like being a Christ-like friend. It

looks like acknowledging differences without letting them divide your relationship. This is not easy. There is no magic formula. Therefore, you need to communicate with your friends and acknowledge their experiences. However, here are some practical ways that you can be an effective ally.

Five Ways to Serve After Your Friend Comes Out to You: 1. Listen actively. Use your body language to communicate to your friend that you value the significance of what they are telling you. Remove any distractions, and be aware of your environment.

2. Ask meaningful questions. Ask questions that deepen your understanding of your friend’s experience.

Avoid questions which ask your friend to defend themselves.

3. Don’t tell anyone else. Don’t even tell mutual friends, “my friend came out to me…” Certainly, do not tell others, “my friend came out to me, what should I do?” Recognize that this is neither your story, nor your experience. Therefore, you should avoid sharing it.

4. This is your opportunity to relationally apply the research skills you are learning in university. Research the LGBTQ+ community, and try and get some of your more broad,

WEEKLY POLL This issue’s poll features questions about TWUSA satisfaction. We wanted to know how familiar you are with TWUSA, if you understand how it runs and if you think it is fulfilling its role on campus. In essence, are you getting what you need from the group that is meant to represent you?

Out of the 120 respondents, 51.7 percent did not know what a Board of Governors meeting was, and of those that did, 65.5 percent have never actually gone to a meeting. Out of those who did not know what a BOG meeting was, 80.6 percent would not go, even with knowing what is.

We gathered 120 responses, and the majority of respondents knew who their faculty representative was. While TWUSA represents students to administration and helps facilitate communication among groups, most students in this survey believe that TWUSA exists for free printing and coffee. At the same time, the option to select “Represent students to administration” was not provided.

Finally, 46.7 percent of students felt that TWUSA was “sometimes” fulfilling its duties, with a close 41.7 percent saying “yes”, TWUSA has in fact fulfilled its duties this year. 11.7 percent said “no”, it has not fulfilled its duties.

Factors in this survey include non-TWU respondents (four out of 120), and the intent behind answering as well as the logic jumps with questions five through seven in regards to attending BOG meetings.

general questions answered.

5. Adjust your language, if necessary. Be aware of the culture in your dorm. Are there aspects of your dorm/collegium/peer group culture which may be isolating, dangerous or violating, and prevent your friend from experiencing the fullness of campus life?

Some Language to Avoid Out of Love: 1. Same-sex attracted Well, for one thing, this phrase makes some members of the LGBTQ+ community feel like they are in a laboratory, and need to be examined and discussed from afar. This language creates distance, and demeans this individual’s sexuality. Additionally, for some members of our community, this has been a phrase that has been used harshly against members of the LGBTQ+ community. For some, it is a descriptor their parents’, family members or friends have used to condemn them.

2. The Homosexuals Also has a bit of a laboratory connotation, as well as the tendency to create distance. It also tends to amalgamate the experiences of all members of the LGBTQ+ community.

Essentially, the overriding theme is to avoid language that does one of

two things. First, language that creates distance, instead of language that simply acknowledges diversity, is problematic. Second, any language that seems to speak for all members of the LGBTQ+ community, is dangerous. Allow individuals to have their own diverse experiences, opinions, interests and passions.

In preparation for the event, TWUSA intentionally put rules in place to ensure that the event remained a safe and respectful space. Students were respectfully asked to refrain from sharing their theology, and to focus on their own journey.

Unfortunately, those rules were not followed. One of the stories went beyond the realm of experience and entered the territory of a sermon. I, myself, as one of the organizers take responsibility for any hurt caused by the event. This is the second time this year that TWUSA has put structures in place to ensure that their events remain safe spaces, and then failed to implement them.

Afterwards, TWUSA publicly apologized to those who were negatively affected by the event. Perhaps, to a community which has yet to receive an apology from Trinity Western for the fear, isolation and pain caused by members of the community and permitted by policies of the institution, an apology might just be more radical than the event itself.

DO YOU THINK THE CURRENT TWUSA ADMINISTRATION HAS BEEN FULFILLING THEIR DUTIES THIS YEAR? No 12% (14)

Sometimes 47% (56)

Yes 42% (50)

DO YOU KNOW WHAT A BOARD OF GOVERNOR’S MEETING IS? No 52% (62)

Yes 48% (58)

“Coffee has too much caffeine for me” – Andrew Kimball

POLL RESULTS CONTINUE ON PAGE 19.

16

EMPTY PRIZES

SPORTS JAMISON DERKSEN jamison.derksen@mytwu.ca

AUBREE FARRELL The battle has stakes; the competition has a prize. What could possibly be paradoxical about the world of sports? In most cases, the prize bears no relation to the effort of the players, coaches, officials, spectators, etc. This contradiction is what can be seen as the “empty prize.”

I remember playing volleyball and soccer during junior high and high school, and participating in off-season training sessions, starting when I was 11. These sessions primarily focused on speed and agility, and the exercises included using ladders, boxes, and timed sprints. Due to my schedule, I was unable to train with my own age group, and had to train with the high school/college students. I found myself surrounded by predominately football players, who were much bigger than I, to say the least. I remember feeling discouraged and inadequate my first session, after comparing myself

to those around me. Fatigued, I kept messing up, and felt like I had failed myself.

At the end of the first training session, the trainer came up to me and commended me for working with the older kids; he said I did well and that I better come back the following week. I was petrified at the idea of coming back and trying to compete with those same athletes. A million excuses ran through my head, about me being too young, not being fast or quick enough, and just being completely out of place.

But I kept going back. Every week I would show up, ready to give everything I had for the two hours I was there.

I was not training to be better than anyone, but I wanted to prove to myself that despite feeling inadequate, I could work hard, and no one could take that away from me.

Two years after I started training, I was able to compete with and keep up with the other athletes around me. The trainer used me as a model to demonstrate ladder exercises and proper technique, and I finished first or second in my line during the drills. I gained respect from the older athletes and parents. Although there was no prize, I found gratification in the fact that my work had paid off,

a n d I was able to be confident with the athlete I was becoming.

While watching the opening ceremony of the Winter Olympics, I could not help but think about the process all the athletes partook in, leading up to this crucial moment. Hours of training for years on end, as well as the process it takes to recover, rest and properly fuel the mind and body, are only the surface of what is required.

For Olympians, the prize is earning a medal, or potentially breaking a record and holding a new title. This could be for themselves, those supporting them, and the country they represent. Whether it is an Olympic medal or some other trophy, however, there is a lack of any intrinsic value, or an “empty prize.” It is for show, and is highly prized not because of its economic value, but for the efforts needed to win it.

The core of this value is competition. An object only becomes desirable when it is coveted by someone else, and there-

fore these o b jects and symbols become attractive through the eyes of another. Champion titles showcase a fine example. Titles are the basic capital of every sports association: the right to obtain titles is jealously guarded - without titles, no association can exist. This is true for those participating in sports at a young or beginning stage, as well as those who professionally play sports.

For those playing professionally, obtaining a title is most important because it increases the value of individual players, teams, or sport organizations, which is all driven by competition, and the cycle continues. So, what then is an adequate prize? Can athletes, despite media coverage or earned money, ever receive due credit for the effort and dedication that is given? Or is the paradox of the “empty prize” no mystery at all, but actually determined through individual interpretation of winning and success?

i’m coming home;

THE RETURN OF DWYANE WADE JORDAN MAX-BROWN Dwyane Wade’s return to Miami comes as a surprise to most – but with the Cleveland Cavaliers unloading half of their roster at the NBA trade deadline, they were able to give the former Miami Heat star a chance to go back to the team he spent the first 13 years of his Hall-of-Fame career with. Although most Heat fans held onto the hope that he would play another game at American Airlines Arena, few could have imagined that he would be back this soon.

In the summer of 2016, Wade left the Heat to play for his hometown, the Chicago Bulls. His relationship with Heat president, Pat Riley, became rocky when Miami was not willing to pay the then 34-year-old the $50M over two seasons that he desired. He decided to not resign with Miami.

Due to the recent unfortunate passing of his agent, Henry Thomas, the former Heat star and Pat Riley met at the funeral and ultimately decided that they needed to make amends and get Dwyane back to Miami. In the trade, Miami gave Cleveland a 2024 second round pick that is top-55 protected, meaning there is a high possibility the pick will never actually pan out, in exchange for Wade.

With the current Miami roster, it is likely that Wade will come off the bench as the Heat have a talented backcourt with first time all-star Goran Dragic, as well as players like Wayne Ellington, Tyler Johnson, and Josh Richardson. With Wade coming off the bench, he will be playing a significant amount of time with youngster Bam Adebayo, which will help the rookie’s development significantly. Before Wade’s departure, Heat fans also saw glimpses of chemistry between center Hassan Whiteside and Wade; with his return, this could be an opportunity for the duo to pick up right where they left off.

Come playoffs, Wade provides a veteran touch of a player who has “climbed the mountain” multiple times before. Even in the later years of his career, Wade has been able to take his play up a notch and be one of his team’s elite players. One just needs to look back to the playoffs two years ago when Wade helped lead Miami to the sec-

Their first name is a last name – Jenna Kastelein

ond round, where they eventually lost to the Toronto Raptors in seven games.

As a Miami Heat fan, Wade’s return will likely be the best part of the NBA season. His return to South Beach for the rest of the year and playoffs will result in some special attention and hopefully some added Sports Centre highlights.

What may be more valuable than the actual playing, is the fact that Wade brings back the winning culture that Miami grew used to over the course of his career. Hopefully he will be able to instill that same winning mentality in the younger Heat players, so they can continue the legacy of winning that he started.

Miami may not be competing for a championship these next couple years, but getting their star player back generates excitement that the team needs and will provide Wade with the send-off to the Hall-of-Fame he deserves, in the city he made to be his own.

17

JAMISON DERKSEN You may say I have an obsession with hockey, and some might even call it unhealthy. For those of you that know me personally, you know I always seem to be talking about, watching, playing, playing fantasy, or reading about the sport. But guess what?! As a Canadian hockey fan, I don’t even care about the 2018 Olympic Winter Games. The Norwegian hockey team can win gold, for all I care.

It is a travesty that the National Hockey League refused to allow its players to participate in the Games. I know, NHL

players were not even allowed to play in the Olympics until the 1998 Games in Nagano, but having the world’s best forming “superteams” battling over national pride has turned hockey into a must-watch Olympic event. The 2010 Men’s Gold Medal game between Canada and the United States was the most viewed Canadian television event of all time.

The NHL is the best hockey league in the world – that is not up for debate – and the world’s best athletes compete at the Olympic Games. Many of the league’s biggest stars have repeatedly expressed a strong desire to be able to represent their nations in the Olympics,

SPARTAN STATS 70-64 W vs Alberta (Feb. 16)

One of the biggest concerns for NHL team owners is that they would have to take a two-week break in the season in the middle of February. Not ideal, but each team will still play the same number of games, the season will just be slightly longer. The other concern is that some of their players could get injured while competing in a tournament unrelated to the team that they are under contract with. While this certainly may happen, the break also gives players that are already injured extra time to heal, and will in general allow a team to be more rested before the playoffs.

The Spartans finished the regular season with a 16-4 record. If they win this upcoming series they will advance to the Canada West finals.

Yes, Olympic participation may be inconvenient for the National Hockey League, but everyone else involved wants to make it happen. The players want to represent their countries and the fans want to see their nation’s best squad possible at the Olympics, and right now that is far from the case.

You all remember Crosby’s 2010 “Golden Goal,” but would you remember it if it was someone from this year’s Canadian roster, like Eric O’Dell? Of course not.

This will be a forgettable tournament for hockey fans, and hopefully the National Hockey League doesn’t make us deal with it again four years from now.

MEN’S VOLLEYBALL Recent 3-0 W at Thompson Rivers (Feb. 17)

WOMEN’S BASKETBALL Recent

but this would likely result in major fines or suspensions from the league.

The Spartans finished the regular season at the top of the Canada West standings, sporting a 22-2 record.

Upcoming Best-of-3 series vs Thompson Rivers (Feb. 22-25)

Upcoming

MEN’S HOCKEY

Best-of-3 series at Saskatchewan (Feb. 22-24) WOMEN’S VOLLEYBALL

5-3 L vs Simon Fraser (Feb. 3)

Recent

The Spartans finished the regular season in 5th place in the Canada West 3-1 W at Thompson Rivers (Feb. 17) standings, with a 15-9 record.

Upcoming

WOMEN’S TRACK AND FIELD 60m

Claire Noort - 10th (1:43.10)

600m

Regan Yee - 1st (2:42.99)

100m

Mirelle Martens - 7th (5:01.20)

Mile

Alleyah Hinds - 9th (11.05m)

Triple Jump

Madison Evans - 6th (J3.69m) Kirsten Dunford - 8th (J3.69m) Emma Li - 9th (J3.69M)

Pole Vault

Upcoming at Victoria (7:30PM, Feb. 23) at Vancouver Island (7:30PM, Feb. 24) vs Victoria (7:00PM, Mar. 3)

The Spartans are 18-4 so far in the season , and are currently 1st in the BCIHL.

MEN’S TRACK AND FIELD

Best-of-3 series vs Alberta (Feb. 22-25)

Rachel Jerome - 8th (7.86)

Recent

UW Indoor Open (Feb. 11)

Upcoming

Aidan Kits - 7th (1:23.24)

600m

James Lam - 2nd (2:25.65) Adam Marshall - 3rd (2:25.78) Tyler de Jong - 7th (2:27.07)

1000m

Levi Neufeld - 1st (4:10.77) Nick Colyn - 10th (4:15.08)

Mile

Caleb de Jong - 2nd (8:14.74)

3000m

Denzel Brown - 5th (6.78m)

Long Jump

David Boyd - 3rd (4.88m) Giovanni Hernandez - 9th (J4.73m) Nathan Dunford - 10th (4.58m)

Pole Vault

UW Indoor Open (Feb. 11)

Upcoming

Canada West Championships (Winnipeg, MB) Feb. 23-24

Canada West Championships (Winnipeg, MB.) Feb. 23-24

When they’ve finished their paper for a class 2 weeks early – Cheyanne Makelki

18

HOORAY, THERE’S A CAR IN SPACE

HUMOUR SABINE HENDERSON hendersonsabine@gmail.com

KATE NUNDAL I don’t know much about the news.

I don’t have time for the news, too bogged down with trying to pave my entry into the career world to focus on what is happening in it. And then someone told me that humanity’s most recent achievement is putting a car into space.

Cue slow clap.

As best I could discover, the Tesla Roadster that is currently hurtling through space to nowhere in particular costs around $200,000 for us Earthlings.

Good news, though, because on February 14th, Science Magazine confirmed

that the chances of the car circling back and crashing into Earth were only six percent! (I think we’d hope though that the chances of that would be something closer to none at all.)

I have often schemed about firing my car into space, though for no reason so high-minded as “science.” And, true, the scheme involves less of the actual sending of the car into space, and focuses more on the potential popularity of a

GoFundMe page proposing this idea to the masses.

I wonder if someday an alien will stumble across this advanced electric sports car flying through space, and by it, make first contact with humanity. We must hope that if the Roadster encounters an alien world, it will not be as a crumpled meteor of heated metal hurtling towards its civilization at an alarming rate, or wipe out its equivalent of the

dinosaurs. I think we need not worry, however. It is far more likely that the Roadster will continue to wander through space until it falls into orbit around some other celestial body, which it will continue to circle pointlessly until the end of the universe, or until it falls into a black hole or a neutron star.

Congratulations, humanity, for discovering a way to spread our litter problem into space!

not seeing the sun.

CATHY’S

HOT TAKE ON THE SUN Fact: Science says the surface of the sun is 5,505º C. Fact: In the 3.5 days of sunshine witnessed here at TWU, the temperature has actually been LOWER than the winter average.

Fact: People from Alberta see much more sun in their winters than those in the Lower Mainland do. You can tell because of how much they complain about

Fact: Albertans are also the ones who most loudly brag about their -65 oC winters. If the sun were truly the blazing fireball that science tells us it is, it would make things warmer the more it shone. But it does not.

This is because the sun is actually a government conspiracy. The light you see is actually the lens of the government’s surveillance cameras, and when the protective blanket of cloud rolls away, the heat escapes and we are left to freeze under the cold-blooded gaze of our reptilian overlords.

Fear the sun.

Flee from it.

And now, the weather.

DANICA STEENKAMP

THE BACHELORETTE: GOOSE EDITION KENNEDY DRAGT

Valentine’s Day has passed, but love remains in the air.

These boys are hungrily looking for a lifelong mate.

Goslings, take your pick.

Name: Jaxon deBernache Wingspan: 1.6 meters Major: Business I am a confident, entrepreneurial leader. My favourite part of Trinity is TWUSA, though I do wish they let me inside. It’s hard to survive without free coffee and printing. Equal rights for all! Fowl lives matter! Vote for me in the upcoming elections #Bernache4prez

“I like Cardi B” – Andrew Brookes

Name: Tyxon VanGeeset Wingspan: 1.8 meters Major: Human Kinetics I would consider myself to be athletic, hardworking, and a real team player. My Ganders Cross-Country team is like family, a true gaggle. We just love running so much, sometimes people think we’re chasing them, but really, we’re just all practicing to get a new personal best.

Name: Chriztopher McWaddle Wingspan: 1.5 meters Major: Education I’m an adventurous, fun, and caring goose. I feel so blessed to be a part of this lovely community and live in this gorgeous land! The grass is perfect, so green and lush. The pond is great for swimming. It is well maintained, and the mountains and lakes aren’t too far off. Also, I love my worship team. Making music at the outdoor chapel is the best! To check out a song I’m working on, go to: https://www.youtube.com/ watch?v=jkKlDF9wqvU

19

WHY TWUSA CAMPAIGN POSTERS MADE IT ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE TO VOTE ANONYMOUS

Well, TWUSA Executive elections have come and gone. The mosaic of campaign posters now nowhere to be seen and a new clan of leaders for next year, of course. Speaking of posters, I would like to present an educated evaluation of this year’s TWUSA executive campaign posters. Based, solely, on how their posters looked. Because this is 2018, and aesthetics rule the world.

TWUSA President 1. Josh Klassen After being a student for 5 years, you kind of start to realize what students regard as “aesthetic”. Brick walls, surprisingly, are one of those things. Josh saw the opportunity and he took it.

2. Mackenzie Esson Mackenzie promoted her own hashtag, #Kenz4Prez, on her posters. I don’t know about you, but I would want my president to be social media dependent, because this is the world we live in.

3. Andrew Kimball If you want your president to know how to manipulate loopholes, Andrew is your guy. His posters are twice as big and he’s wearing a tropical shirt. They caught the eye, they captured the soul.

2. Alex Gust Alex took his campaign to a whole new level by setting his photo off the premises of Trinity. We see your potential, Alex. Today, Fort Langley. Tomorrow – the world.

Vice President of Academic Relations 1. Becca Carsience Becca was the only candidate for this position, so you would have voted for her anyway. Still, a standing ovation for wearing a shirt for the poster photo that brings out your eyes. If that isn’t an example of “having your cake and eating it too,” I don’t know what is.

Vice President of Finance 1. Ava Sawatzky Yes, she had two different posters.

And yes, one of them didn’t even have her face on it, just the glasses, but you still knew it was her. I would want the person handling my $75 to know how to spend them not on just one good thing, but two. Or more, preferably more.

2. Andrew Brookes I’ve always wanted a younger strawberry-blonde version of Jimmy Fallon as my director of finance.

WEEKLY POLL CONTINUED FROM PAGE 15

WHAT DO YOU THINK TWUSA DOES ON CAMPUS? (CHECK ALL THAT APPLY) Bike Rentals 28% (34)

Runs most of the events on campus 76% (91)

Advocacy for students 63% (76)

Legal Advice for Students 8% (10) Provides free coffee in their office 94% (113)

Free printing 88% (106)

DO YOU KNOW WHO YOUR TWUSA FACULTY REP IS FOR THE 17/18 ACADEMIC YEAR?

Yes 70% (84)

No 30% (36)

3. Jamison Derksen With a smile and hairdo like that, we will not only voluntarily give him our money, we’ll happily watch as he spends it. With style.

4. Monique Bouchard Not only were her posters also double the regular size, Monique colour-coordinated her photo to the background. Her blazer and the bell matched her blue and orange campaign colors. We see what you did there, Monique, and we are loving it.

Vice President of Student Relations 1. Monica Rawlek Elizondo Her poster had oranges on it. It screamed “there will always be oranges in the TWUSA office if you vote for me.” I need that kind of support in my life.

Vice President 1. Ethan Letkeman Not only did Ethan italicize his fonts, he had a slogan. “Moving Forward.” This guy didn’t want anything stopping him.

2. David Coulter David saw the opportunity, and he took it. You know what I’m talking about, guys. The poster font matched his fiery red hair, and that kind of dedication is what I want from my VP of student relations.

WOULD YOU GO TO, OR FEEL COMFORTABLE GOING TO A BOG MEETING? Yes 19% (12)

When they say they’ve never seen LOTR or Star Wars – John Raffin

No 81% (50)

ALEX’S ANNEX

Herry Tawata not Styles Year: 2nd

THE HIMNAL

Age: I might tell you if you ask nicely Height: Tall enough to get in all the rides but short enough to always get ID’d in the pubs.

Hometown: Dar es Salaam Major: Math Favourite Christian (non-worship) song?

Oceans (the Jay-Z version) Favourite person in the Bible?

Anybody except Judas Idea of a perfect date?

Karaoke at the Fort Pub Best place for a first kiss?

On the stage after we crush it in karaoke How long before you propose?

Next question

‘BUCHA WITH KATIE Spring is right around the corner, and as you head to local eateries and cafes for your late-semester studying, why not consider a delightful glass of kombucha? Some argue that it’s an acquired taste, and I would completely agree. Like coffee, if you drink it enough, you may start to like it. Kombucha is simply fermented tea...with some bacteria and yeast added in. There’s a plethora of flavours, and you can even make it at home. Grab a scoby and you’ll be on your way. Or, head to your local grocer and pick one up.

You might ask, why is it so expensive? Like a craft beer, consider the ingredients and the man-hours

How do you know if it’s love?

If the Dad hates me Skill that makes you ‘the one?’

No filters in all my photos Favourite preacher?

Mario Rosales, my roomate Age limit (max/min) 4035066194 seconds (call me)

Here are five common brands of kombucha and how they rate, based on carbonation, sweetness, drinkability (do you want to vomit after?) and bang for your buck.

HEALTHY HOOCH - PEAR GINGER FLAVOUR Carbonation: 5/5 Sweetness: 3/5 Drinkability: 3/5 Bang for your Buck: $5.79 for 500mL

How would you win their parents over?

Buy their affection

that go into making a batch. Your average bottle of kombucha costs around five dollars, which is most certainly more than water. You might also wonder, “Can I get drunk off kombucha?” After all, it has less than one percent of alcohol in it from the fermentation process, but legally it is NOT alcohol. Even then, if you consumed litres of the drink, maybe there’s a chance. But then you’d get diarrhea. So, the answer is no.

Consensus: A good balance of “Ew this is healthy”, “Wow this isn’t that sweet but still tastes good” and “OOOO bubbles”.

RISE - HIBISCUS AND ROSE HIPS FLAVOUR Carbonation: 4/5 Sweetness: 5/5 Drinkability: 5/5 Bang for your Buck: $4.79 for 414mL

Consensus: A bit sweet, but very drinkable.

DR. TOWNSHEND’S TEA COMPANY LEMON GINGER CAYENNE FLAVOUR Carbonation: 4/5

Good age to get married?

Not now Your favourite band?

Migos What is your signature dish?

Popcorn How do you plan to take family photos?

With gold chains and dollar dollar bills Top quality in a future mate?

She actually likes my karaoke stunts.

Sweetness: 1/5 Drinkability: 3/5 Bang for your Buck: $4.69 for 414mL

SYNERGY - DIVINE GRAPE FLAVOUR Carbonation: 3/5 Sweetness: 5/5 Drinkability: 5/5

Favourite action movie?

Scarface Favourite action movie?

Scarface Views on courtship?

Ask for the parent’s blessings What is your love language?

Swahili

Consensus: Feels healthy. Tastes healthy.

Turmeric is also a good option, great for the stomach.

Bang for your Buck: $4.79 for 480mL

Consensus: If you don’t like kombucha, but want to be cool and drink it anyways, this is the brand for you.

WESTERN FAMILY - ORGANIC GINGER FLAVOUR Carbonation: 4/5 Sweetness: 3/5 Drinkability: 1/5 Bang for your Buck: $3.99 for 375mL

“I love group projects” – Chase Moloney

Consensus: Tastes remarkably like nail polish remover. Do not recommend.