Mars' Hill Volume 17 Issue 1

4 6 14 MARS’ HILL ACTS 17:19-20

VOLUME 17, ISSUE 1

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SEPTEMBER 12, 2012

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September 12, 2012

FROM THE EDITOR. MARS’ HILL

|THE TEAM

7600 Glover Rd. Langley, BC V2Y 1Y1 604 513 2109 MARS’ HILL

Mars’ Hill is a student publication of

CHRIS MONTGOMERY

visual editor

Mars’ Hill seeks to be a professional and

MISSION TO MARS

JUSTIN POULSEN

managing editor

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BETHANY ROY

EDITORIAL POLICY

chief copy editor

LAURA JENSEN

This article better be freakin’ great

LAURA JENSEN

photo editor

“You’ve got big

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SCOTT FORSYTH

JUSTIN SMITH

layout assistant

BROOKE HIGGINBOTHAM

illustration editor

CHRISTINE RMAH

web presence

ALEX PLENITS

advertising manager

DALLAS FONTAINE

finance manager

These

were

I heard after receiving the news that I had been appointed Editor-in-Chief of this newspaper. I’ll be honest, jumping into this position with no previous newspaper experience and hiring a brand new staff is daunting to say the least.

But if there’s one thing I’ve come to understand during this time, it’s what it truly means to trust God. It’s ironic how fragile trust is— it’s not meaningful until it becomes you have not to trust someone, the gesture becomes when you choose to anyways. Trust is supposed to be uncertain, so embrace it.

This is a big year for everyone; freshmen are entering university ing towards the rest of their lives.

Sure, these experiences occur every year, but maybe every year really is a big year. Maybe you’ve taken on a student leadership position, maybe you’ve recently switched majors, or ally go to chapel. Whatever the case,

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this is your big year, take advantage of it.

University is one of the most unique and random moments in your life. You can go to class with a nurse, eat lunch with an aspiring entrepreneur, and relax with someone from the other side of the planet whom you’ll probably never see again after graduation. Trinity Western University is an epicenter of diversity, community, and most importantly, dialogue about what drives our lives.

Our vision for this newspaper is the same: a service where you can read, write, and discuss what you

other various ideologies. “From one man he made all the nations, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he marked out their appointed times in history and the boundaries of their lands. God did this so that they would seek him and per-

the Areopagus sat atop a hill in Greece and was host to everything from criminal trials to senate meetings. Over time its use dwindled and was then reborn as an institution devoted to investigating corruption.

Eventually the Romans renamed it Mars’ Hill, after their god of war.

extremely grateful and excited to see how God will use them, and all of you guys, to transform this paper into a pinnacle for the discovery of truth.

My encouragement for you this year is to live a little. Ask that cute girl out to dinner. Try going commando. Take the cinnamon challenge. Try out for a hockey team even though you’ve never skated before…

Thoroughly enjoy this year and trust God’s plan for what’s ahead. Don’t worry, don’t stress, don’t back down from it. Just trust.

Opinions expressed in Mars’ Hill torial board, Trinity Western University,

SENIOR EDITORS Editor-in-Chief

Justin Poulsen

though he is not far from any one of us.”

Even in this short span of 2 weeks, I have experienced God’s faithfulness while putting this issue together. He has blessed me with an incredible staff that are more

Managing Editor Visual Editor

SECTION EDITORS Larissa Kroeker News Academy Arts & Culture

uses, despite the numerous differing opinions and debates, Mars’ Hill remained single in its purpose: to promote the pursuit of truth.

It’s all too appropriate that this is where Paul delivered his famous sermon in Acts 17, bringing the truth of the gospel of Christ to people of

Sports Humour

PRODUCTION STAFF Laura Jensen Photo Editor

Illustration Editor Layout Assistant Chief Copy Editor

OPERATIONS Finance Manager Advertising Manager Web Presence

CONTRIBUTORS

my playlist

Mark Janzen

SCOTT FORSYTH

Pyramids Frank Ocean Left You Behind Ben Stevenson Enough Said Aaliyah ft. Drake Party On Fifth Ave Mac Miller Slow Dancing in a Burning Room John Mayer Hit ‘Em High Space Jam Soundtrack Jasmine Jai Paul Keep Me Ian McIntosh Yaa I Get It Shad re:Stacks Bon Iver She Takes Me High We The Kings How Great Thou Art Ascend The Hill Writers’ Block Dee-1

ADVISOR

marshill@gmail.com www.marshillonline.com @marshillonline

COVER STATEMENT “I did what Chris told me to do” Laura Jensen

What were your thoughts when you first came to Trinity? “Everybody is blonde” - Amelia Stracner

September 12, 2012

ACADEMY.

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CAMERON REED cameron.reed@mytwu.ca

Things I wish I knew A super senior graciously shares wisdom gathered from his years in academia.

By now you’ve landed on the shores of this school and you are probably, CAMERON hopefully, wondering REED what exactly you are in for. Does this summery landscape—dotted with cute girls you haven’t met yet studying on blankets on the lawn, beleaguered by kids

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and tinted with the joyous shouts of a barefoot volleyball game on the grass mingled with someone playing guitar from a tree—does it ever end? Will it always be like this? I’m here enjoy it while it lasts! But to keep the rain from catching you unprepared, here is a handful of things—I hesitate to call them a list—that I wish I had known when I stepped out of the boat: One. The winter is long and dark. So dig in. And there are too many great ways to get involved at Trinity. Between rec services, clubs and student ministries, there is a place for pretty much everybody. There is a host of intramural leagues, soccer, basketball, volleyball, clubs like the incredible outdoor club, and more intense teams like the Titans. There’s also a full suite of student-run volunteer ministries. These range from working with at-risk youth in East Vancouver, to using the arts and drama to minister to the local community.

There are on-campus discipleship groups and a whole range of student clubs. In the words of

Oscar Wilde: prudence is an old maid, courted by indecision. Joining a ministry on a whim best decisions I made that year.

Two. The Library. Norma is your friend out here. She may not look like much from the outside (or even from the look of her bookshelves) but she will get you through the winter and I promise you will become a better student if you befriend her.

Three. Build relationships. Trinity is small.

Like a mustard seed. And this is one of the very best things about it! If you want to, you can get to know your professors. And more often than not, they are totally willing to mentor and help you along, not just your academic or professional development. They care about your soul becoming beautiful. It goes beyond profs. If you want, you can get to know just about everyone. Staff, administrators, secretaries, and janitors, student and community life leaders.

They are all wonderful.

Four. Dream big. The smallness factor also means that if you have a sweet idea for something you’d like to study or just something you’d like to see happen on campus, you can probably make it happen. And there are professors, administrators, and staff who love to help you pursue your dreams.

Five. Enjoy it. Naturally, this goes without saying. But actually there are few times when you are living in the same place as a bunch of wonderful people and potential friends. So do something beautiful with it. Start a game of barefoot soccer. Do something romantic for a girls’ dorm. Hold a rally in the middle of campus. Start a band.

Just don’t take it for granted. In the words of my favorite Oklahoman troubador: Take it easy, but take it!

LAURA JENSEN

- - . - - - DISPATCHES FROM THE LLC - - - - . - . . . . . . - . - - - - - - . . - .

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CAMERON REED

This fall, twenty-one Trinity Western University students change the world and how the world is changed. Or Canada,

at least.

The Laurentian Leadership Centre operates out of a 103-year-old historic mansion in downtown Ottawa, just six minutes from Parliament Hill. The building was originally constructed in 1909 by a lumber baron named John Rudolphus Booth, once Ottawa’s biggest taxpayer. For many years afterward, it housed the elite Laurentian Club until TWU acquired the property in 2001. Every semester since then, a fresh batch of TWU students have been given the chance to live, study, and work in the nation’s capital.

Three courses are offered at the LLC: Canadian Governmental Leadership for POLS/HIST/SOCI credit, Ethics and Public Affairs for POLS/SOCI credit, and Law, Public Policy, and Cultural Change for IDIS/ POLS credit.

Though the courses favor the more politically inclined, students get the chance to intern at a broad

range of entities. This fall features internships in a Evangelical Fellowship of Canada, Ottawa Life Magazine, Rogers Cable, Red Cross, Citizens for Public Justice, and the Conservative Research Group.

Other students this fall are working with the Mexican embassy, various MPs, ministers of trade, immigration, human resource skills development Canada, your political savvy, the LLC can provide experience for just about any academic discipline. The current batch hail from disciplines as diverse as religious studies, political science, communications, English, and art!

So, if you aspire to create political change, or simply crave a more integrated, hands-on learning experience, check out the LLC program website or go upstairs in RNT and talk to Jayne Cummings. from the nation’s capital in “Dispatches from the LLC.”

What were your thoughts when you first came to Trinity? “This is a Christian university?” - Mackenzie Dunn

TIM ANDRIES

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September 12, 2012

The death of wonder Why America needs to rediscover its passion for exploration.

The recent death of Neil Armstrong made me realize a poignant reality: in a few short years there will be no CHRIS one left on the planet that has been MONTGOMERY to the Moon. Not a single human foot on Earth will have touched down on interstellar terrain.

Why does this matter? Eras of human history rise and fall all the time. We are born, we die; and the cycle continues.

The difference is that we have always dealt with loss and change through the idea of progress; a dream that death will bring about a better reality for the future. The old makes way for the new.

The problem of today is that the death of the manned American Space program is not giving birth to anything new. Yes, we have sent robots to Mars—an incredible accomplishment that should be cheered with vigour. However, humanity is not wired to gain inspiration from the accomplishments of metal and glass. Unity and the collective power of the human spirit can only be celebrated vicariously through the senses of our own kind— Christopher Columbus’ voyage to the edge of the earth, Edmund Hillary’s climb to the top of the planet, Neil Armstrong’s journey to lunar terrain.

Many believed that the same astronauts who successfully landed on the Moon in 1969 would live to see the next generation set foot on Mars. Instead, our generation has witnessed a turn from celebrating common ground to standing our own ground.

gotchis and the Chicago Bulls.

The insecurity of Y2K foreshadowed the shaky decade to follow. In September 2001, three planes changed the collective mindset of an entire nation. Our gaze turned from ourselves, to our neighbours and fear drove our every move. Soon enough two wars were being fought half way around the world, and the economy tanked.

Of course, these events have forced us to reconsider the pri-

Democrats and Republicans would rather stalemate their cen-

in the context of His entire creation.

Armstrong himself put it perfectly: “It suddenly struck me that that tiny pea, pretty and blue, was the Earth. I put up my thumb and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth. I didn’t feel like a giant. I felt very, very small.”

Despite our incomprehensibly small size from the cosmological perspective, God set his love on us. A love so large that it stretches even beyond the furthest reaches of our feet or the technology that brings us there.

It saddens me to think that our lunar astronauts will never live to see man venture further than themselves. But I hope, in our lifetime or another, that we will continue to explore in order that we may be reminded of our size and place in God’s creation. An exploration that can only foster a sense of wonder that inspires us to reach out beyond ourselves—as far as our short arms and legs will carry us.

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on. The West and the East have elected to bomb and burn rather than coexist.

We have disillusioned ourselves into thinking that the end of the Cold War was the end of a bipolar world. Instead, the single crack in the window of our humanity has spread into a network of damaging and blinding splits that has further clouded the vision of unity for mankind.

My entire life has been lived post-Cold War. The Berlin Wall fell, and shortly afterwards I was born. I have never seen the Soviets as our enemy or competitor; and for nearly 25 years neither has anyone else, except James Bond. Like any period in human history, the decades that have spanned my life have been host to many monumental and formative events that have brought us to where we are today. Relatively speaking however, the 90’s were

and domestic terrorism and economic disaster have changed many people’s minds on what, and where, we should focus our time and money. Yet, these things have existed far before we began to worry about them. It shouldn’t stop us from pursuing something greater than what we can see.

It is always important to think critically as to what is the best step to take as a person, a nation, and a race. Do we step forward in supporting the less fortunate among us, or do we step forward in exploration and discovery? From a Biblical perspective it may seem obvious. Jesus called us to a life of helping those less fortunate and walking in his footsteps.

At the same time however, God has created us with a sense of wonder and discovery. The journey of mankind is one of just that—journeys. In the past, a journey of more than day was a source of stress; today it is form of stress relief. This desire for exploration is God-given and God-honouring. A sense of ourselves and our place in God’s awesome plan for humanity can

then died off, and in turn we contented ourselves with Tama-

BROOKE HIGGINBOTHAM

What were your thoughts when you first came to Trinity? “I better enjoy all this fun before class starts!” - Ben Magnuson

September 12, 2012

L.O.V.E. STORIES

What is Love?

Alright, alright. Once your done bobbing your head and humming that familiar Haddaway anthem I would like to answer the question: What is L.O.V.E.?

Practically speaking, L.O.V.E. is the 10+ opportunities for TWU students to serve alongside their peers each week.

At its heart however, L.O.V.E. is an understanding that “outreach is within reach.”

Another way of saying that outreach is both a

CHETT FITCHETT

chance to be change and be changed.

In this way, the phrase “outreach is within reach” has transformation as its end.

In a simultaneous fashion, transformation occurs through us and in us when we participate in serving others.

Transformation occurs through us as we bring God’s Kingdom to a broken world: food for the hungry, clothes for the naked, shelter for the homeless, and a voice for the voiceless (Luke 4:18-21). And transformation occurs

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in us as the justice, mercy, and humility that God’s Kingdom is built upon becomes the foundation for how we view our world and those in it (Micah 6:8; Is. 58:6-9).

So what is L.O.V.E.?

It’s a practical opportunity to serve, an understanding that “outreach is within reach,” and a commitment to a transformation possible only through Jesus Christ.

New profs on the chalk Get to know some new faces joining the TWU Faculty this year.

LAURA JENSEN

Jamie Spinney

Stephen Benecke

Joshua Kruse

Sam Pimentel

B.A., St. Mary’s University B.Ed., Dalhousie University Adv. Diploma (Fisheries Development), Marine Institute M.A. (Urban and Rural Planning), Dalhousie University Adv. Diploma (Applied Geomatics Research), College of Geographic Sciences Ph.D., McMaster University

B.Sc. Hons (Applied Mathematics), University of Stellenbosch M.Sc. (Applied Mathematics), University of Stellenbosch Ph.D. (Mathematics), University of Victoria

B.A. Psychology, UVIC M.A. Clinical Psychology (MFT), Pepperdine University M.A. Clinical Psychology, Rosemead School of Psychology Ph.D. Clinical Psychology, Rosemead School of Psychology

M.A., Department of Mathematical Sciences, University of Bath, UK Ph.D., Department of Mathematics and the Environmental Systems Science Centre, University of Reading, UK.

Hometown Halifax, Nova Scotia

Academic Interests My academic interests focus on applied spatial reasoning and spatial analysis in order to address contemporary social, economic, environmental, and public health issues, particularly as they relate to urban and regional planning.

Why Trinity I appreciate the small class sizes, faithbased instruction, and the winters that are warmer than in Nova Scotia.

Hobbies and/or favorite book search papers.

Hometown I am from the university town of Stellenbosch in South Africa. I then moved to Victoria to do my PhD. After a brief tour back to SA in 2011, I am happy to be back in BC.

Hometown It is complicated, but I was born in Calgary, Alberta

Academic Interests

Academic Interests

In terms of undergraduate teaching I enjoy courses on Discrete Mathematics, Probability Theory, and Calculus. My research interests are in Discrete Math and Graph Theory, using both analytic and heuristic algorithms.

Psychology, spiritual formation, integration of psychology and Christianity, spiritual disciplines and psychotherapy, anxiety reduction, and mentorship

Why Trinity

I see Trinity as a reputable Christian university that has the opportunity to be a beacon to the Northwest. Additionally, I like the sense of community on campus and the shared purpose in education and personal development

TWU provides a unique and exciting opportunity to integrate my faith with my academic career. In general, when studying Mathematics, people tend to abandon their faith for seemingly atheistic pursuits. As a Christian Mathematics teacher, I am called to demonstrate, both by example and in the classroom, that faith and Mathematics are not mutually exclusive pursuits.

Why Trinity

Hometown I’m from England, I grew up in Essex and the Isle of Wight.

Academic Interest I study glaciers and ice-sheets using applied mathematics and computer models.

Why Trinity Teaching, research, and faith integration; it’s a winning combination.

Hobbies/Favorite Book “Master and Man” by Leo Tolstoy is a stunningly beautiful short story.

Hobbies and/or favorite book Hockey, RC cars, playing with my kids, and activities with my men’s group

Hobbies and/or favorite book

Aboot & About

My spare time is mostly used playing with my baby girl and spending time with my family.

I also enjoy playing guitar and the occasional video game.

English

may cial language of both CanEMMA SPANJER ada and the United States but Americans are still faced with some bizarre differences that can make simple everyday tasks, like sible. Fear not American freshman!

Use this linguistic survival guide to master the Canadian tongue and communicate with the natives.

1. The Washroom: If you have been desperately searching for the toilet or somewhere to brush your teeth and have been unable to locate such a place, you are not alone. You may have seen a door in your dorm labeled “washroom”. This is not, in fact, a really nice hand washing station; it is actually the bathroom and it includes toilets, sinks, and showers.

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Fret no more, you can now keep up on your personal hygiene.

2.“Zed”: Because of Canada’s intimate ties with Britain, the alphabet up north does not end with the letter “z”; rather it ends with a “zed”. If your professor spells a word and says “zed” don’t be befuddled, they mean “z”.

3. Kraft Dinner (KD): Mac ‘N Cheese is the college student’s best friend. Cheap and easy to make, it is the perfect food for a stuit advertised as Macaroni and Cheese.

Canadians have dubbed it “Kraft Dinner”. The term Macaroni and Cheese is generally considered to be more illustrious—used to refer exclusively to the homemade version of the dish.

4. Smarties: If you’re looking for your favorite candy, chances are they call it something different. Smarties here aren’t smarties there. A Canadian smartie is reminiscent of an M’n’M while American smarties are called “rock-

ets”. What prompted this difference in names is not known, but it is confusing. When planning the next sugar binge, make sure you get your ingredients right. But don’t worry, Fuzzy Peaches are universal.w 5. Loonies & Toonies: This may be the best CanadianAmerican difference. Canadian currency does not include $1.00 bills.

Instead they have loonies and toonies.

Loonies are $1.00 coins and Toonies are $2.00 coins. You may look into your wallet, see no paper bills and despair because you have no money.

But a peek into the coin pocket often reveals a pile of these handy coins, thus lifting morale and making you feel rich enough to take a trip to Tim Horton’s—another Canadian novelty you can only understand through experience. Be sure to order yourself the classic “double-double” on your next visit.

6. Toque: What a Yank would call a beanie

or slouchy hat a Canuck would call a “toque”. It’s pronounced “took”. Like, when Gandalf cries “Peregrin! Fool of a Took!”

7. “ou/tre”: This refers to many spelling differences you may encounter. Like the Brits, Canadians tend to spell things funny. They add a ‘u’ to words like favorite and color and sometimes like to switch the ‘r’ and ‘e’ in words like theater or center. Examples: Theatre, Centre, Favourite, Colour. Weird, eh?

8. Poutine: A distinctly French-Canadian dish, Poutine consists of French fries, gravy and cheese. It is not unusual to see variations on the toppings like in Trinity Western University’s very own cafeteria, which sells butter-chicken poutine. Hello taste-bud heaven.

Hello heart attack.

What were your thoughts when you first came to Trinity? “There are too many girls!” - Zander Lamb

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September 12, 2012

NEWS.

LARISSA KROEKER larissa.kroeker@gmail.com

London 2012 Celebrating the best...and the rest.

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LARISSA KROEKER

HIGHS

GOLD MEDAL WIN trampolinist pulled off a perfect routine and surprisingly beat favourite He Wenna of China. While some people are disappointed with our nation’s performance at London, this win restored our pride in Canadian Olympians and should be celebrated.

WOMEN’S SOCCER TEAM

The Canadian women’s soccer team won a bronze medal in one the biggest stories of the 2012 Olympics. Canadians were on the edge of their seats as Christine Sinclair footed a one-goal lead three separate times, only to have the US quickly tie all three goals. Shortly after, Norwegian referee Christiana Pedersen made controversial calls that advanced the Americans into the gold medal match. This only fueled the determination of the Canadian women’s soccer team, leading us to a bronze medal victory and

LOWS BADMINTON SCANDAL

Eight Olympians from the South Korean, Chinese, and Indonesian women’s The world was in shock and booed when these elite athletes started to serve The longest rally in one set lasted a sad four shots, far below what is expected by professionals. All four teams were trying to manipulate their games so

BOLT DASHES INTO HISTORY regarded as the fastest man in the world. Usain Bolt had some competition from his countryman Yohan Blake, who beat him at the Jamaican trials, but successfully defended his title and won the 100 and 200 titles for the second Olympics in a row. The whole world fell silent when Bolt shushed the crowd prior to his team’s participation

replaced with teams that placed third and fourth, and the Olympics resumed without a hitch.

When confronted about his pre-race ritual of binging on a McDonald’s cheeseburger he

One small step was all it took to disqualify Canada’s 4x100 metre relay team.

The team thought they won a bronze medal, but before they ran their victory

LOCHTE vs. PHELPS

The world doubted if American swimmer Michael Phelps could remain at the top of his game in London, after being defeated multiple times by teammate Ryan Lochte at the World Championships. Phelps disappointed audiences in the men’s 400 individual medley event, and Lochte easily won gold. But the competitive nature between both Americans pressed Phelps to eventually win four golds and two silvers, while Lochte

DQ’D SPRINTERS

to see: DQ. Just prior to exchanging the baton with teammate Justyn Warner, team captain Jared Connaughton’s left foot hit the inside lane marking as he rounded the curve. Canadians were left heartbroken as Trinidad was awarded the bronze.

CANADA’S MEDAL COUNT

Although Canada had many triumphs and reasons to celebrate at these games, many will count 2012 as a disappointment due to our low medal count. We country, he would be ranked 51st for total medal count, tied with Egypt and Portugal.

Keep a watch for teammate Ryan Lochte, who has great potential to be the next best

88 CHINA

104 UNITED STATES of AMERICA

medals this time around.

GERMANY TAKES A DIVE

65 GREAT BRITAIN

Summer makeover Campus undergoes some marked improvements.

Many of you may have noticed that things around campus are looking new or completely different.

LARISSA With Trinity Western University KROEKER reaching its 50th Anniversary, many repairs and refurbishments have been made. Associate Provost Sheldon Loeppky helps break down the newest campus updates.

In the Vernon Strombeck Centre, the Department of Media + Communication has a new classroom, complete with a large smartboard and great sound system. The lobby has been redone into a new student lounge with chairs, tables, and a mini fridge.

McMillan Hall Block One has new furniture and a fresh coat of paint. Douglas Hall Two and Three has new carpeting, Six and Seven have had their bathrooms renovated, and the laundry room had a facelift as well.

Classrooms will be a lot quieter at the Robert N. Thompson Building, due to the changes with the HVAC system. No longer will you be hearing the loud hum of the air circulation system, since fans have been replaced to run quieter all day instead of using

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more energy turning on and off. There was also a new concrete pad installed underneath the fans, making things that much quieter.

The Reimer Student Centre and Robson Hall have had their exterior stucco repainted with an elastomeric sealant paint, which seals up stucco and prevents future cracks in the walls. Mattson Centre has also had its reception area redone in a more warm and modern style.

Along with fresh paving behind the Music Building and Strombeck, there is new lighting and signage to increase safety on campus.

All of these upgrades are part of a $1.8 million dollar campus investment. This past season was a “clean-up summer” with many minor but important changes. In the next couple of years, there will be lot of new buildings replacing older ones. The campus master plan made in 2008 is focused on giving the campus a residential, community village feeling.

Trinity Western is not only celebrating 50 amazing years, but also eagerly preparing for 50 more.

What were your thoughts when you first came to Trinity? “Ring by spring!” - Elliot Berts

LAURA JENSEN

September 12, 2012

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TWUSA plans for partnership A chat about the year ahead.

By now you’ve tasted the free burgers, chased bananas at the challenge, bought your used textbooks at the CUBE – all thanks to TWUSA, the Trinity Western University Student Association, a student government for the students, by the students. In case you were wondering about that $65 “student fee” you just paid it goes to help TWUSA shape our Trinity experience by running events, providing services, funding clubs, and advocating for us.

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CAMERON REED

Wednesday, I sat down with TWUSA president Kelly Lamb and vice president Colin Weeres to hear from them their vision for MH: Heart and vision for the year?

COLIN: “Growing together, shaping the experience.” We want to see TWUSA grow together with the rest of the university… Student Life and the Administration. Both in the sense of growing closer together and also growing side by side, challenging each other and pushing each other. Becoming better together. We also like the growing aspect and the way that ties into rooted and reaching. The second part, shaping the experience, when we stripped it down really what we came up with is that we exist for one reason….to enhance, to improve, to shape the student experience.

KELLY: Also… to set up TWUSA for years to come… using what we have really responsibly. It may be kind of a lofty vision, but to set us up for success.

MH: What will that partnership look like?

KELLY: A community leaders proposal fund. A proposals fund for RA’s, CF’s, student ministries, any student leaders, to support community leaders in what they are doing. Also, we are partnering with the rest of university in the 50th. Volunteering, putting on events.

MH: What exactly does TWUSA do?

CAM: From Kelly and Colin and from my year stint at TWU, this is what TWUSA actually does: They run events from planning, promoting, and funding all the way to set up and take down. These include the trinity staples: banana challenge, concerts, open-mic nights, and dances. They fund student

WHAT THE HILL

?

LAURA JENSEN

clubs. Anything from the pre-med society to the beekeeping society can receive funding for events and project proposals. Then services. They run the CUBE so we can have a reli-

newspaper. And the two life-savers: FREE COFFEE and FREE PRINTING up to ten pages per day. Perhaps more importantly and more behind the scenes, is advocacy. TWUSA members

Come with issues, concerns, ideas, inspirations, and initiatives…

These range from housing issues, campus planning, environmental stewardship and food services, to the library committee. That means TWUSA is our say in these issues.

and say, “this is my problem….”

KELLY: We are here to connect the dots to make your university experience a good one.

Russian Alexey Byko faked his own death, only to then surprise his mortified girlfriend by promptly proposing to her. After hiring a team of actors and effects artists he awaited his girlfriend lying strewn in a puddle of blood amidst the carnage of smoke, ambulances, and mangled vehicles. Though livid, his girlfriend still said yes. “I wanted her to realize how empty her life would be without me,” Byko stated.

No word yet on how he plans to celebrate their one year anniversary…

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Wizards be warned, Ebay has banned the sale of all “metaphysical goods” including potions and spells. The decision is based on the President’s vision for the company to be a “trusted marketplace where buyers have confidence and can have a consistently great experience.” Looks like from now on you’ll have to do all of your shopping the old fashioned way and fly over to Diagon Alley.

BODY PARTS FOUND IN MAIL

The Conservative Party of Canada received a package containing a left foot on May 29th, commencing a search for suspect Luka Magnotta. The former model and pornographic actor was aptured at an internet cafe in Berlin on June 4th. Accused of killing Lin Jun, posting the video, and sending body parts to various locations.He is now in a Montreal prison awaiting a

MH: How can new students get involved?

KELLY: Apply. By Friday (September 14th) for the remaining council positions. We still need a freshman event assistant, a director of communications, and a student rep for SAMC (open to second years or higher SAMC students). Come and

Minneapolis recently hosted a festival centered around a new genre of film: viral cat videos. 79 ‘films’ were shown, with more than 10,000 people attended to catch a glimpse of their favourite feline celebrites. This proves yet again that cats are slowly taking over the world, one Hollywood box office at a time.

U.N. DECLARES CIVIL WAR IN SYRIA The United Nations declared Syria to be in a civil war on July 15th. The two sides at war are supporters of the Ba’ath Party government and those opposed to it.

EARTHQUAKES STRIKE NORTHERN ITALY

anti-regime revolt. This continues to be a hot topic for many countries around the world as tensions rise between both forces.

north of Bologna in the middle of the night. Two afterkilled seven people. Nine days later, a 5.8 magnitude less.

ROVER LANDS ON MARS

The Curiosity rover successively landed on Mars this past August. It completed a 556 million kilometre journey in just over eight months. NASA scientists feared the rover might not be able to descend into the planet’s pink atmosphere, but Curiosity was able to go from 20,900km/hr to a stop in seven minutes.

For two years, the rover will take a look into Mars’ past through soil samples and determine if traces of life ever existed.

PHYSICISTS FIND MISSING PARTICLE EGYPTIAN PRESIDENT SENTENCED TO LIFE IN PRISON This past June, former president of Egypt Hosni Mubarak was sentenced to life in prison. He was convicted of complicity in the killing of protestors during last year’s riots that ousted him from power.

As of July 4th, the possible existence of the Higgs boson particle, also known as the ‘God particle’, was announced by Cern physicists in Geneva. Cern is one of the world’s largest laboratories for particle physics, and home of the Large Hadron Collider. The discovery of the new subatomic particle that is very similar to the elusive Higgs boson overjoyed scientists around the world, and future research will provide

his own state.

What were your thoughts when you first came to Trinity? “Way too many white people.” - Joti Bangle

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September 12, 2012

Submit your photos: pillar.yearbook@gmail.com

What were your thoughts when you first came to Trinity? “Aaaah! I’m going to be living in Canada!!” - Graham Gibson

September 12, 2012

What were your thoughts when you first came to Trinity? “I was really excited to meet my RA Steve Semlitch!” - David Punnamannil 111119221-5_BUM_MARTLET_NEXUS_10x16.indd 1

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September 12, 2012

CAMPUS

FAsTeSt PAPER TOWEL DISpEnSeR

BeSt PlACE To SCoPe A SPARTAN

BeSt PlACE To STUDY LATE

BeSt PlACE To ‘define the relationship’

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BeSt PlACE To AVOID A PARKING TICKET

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BeSt PlACE To LIStEn To TOP 40 MUSIC

BeSt PlACE FoR GUY/GIRL MAsSAGe

BeSt PlACE To WAtCH GUY/GIRL MAsSAGe BeSt PlACE To PAY TRIBUTE To tHE CHAPeL

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BeSt PlACE To LONG BOARD

BeSt PlACE To FIND MARS’ HILL StAFf BeSt MAKEOUT SPOTS

What were your thoughts when you first came to Trinity? “I’m an adult!” - Amy Casali

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WALNUT GROVE POOL FORT PUB WENDEL’S WATERSHED ARTS CAFE WAL-MART DENNY’S COLOSSUS THE MALL VALUE VILLAGE LANGLEY EVENTS CENTER JIM’S PIZZA SAVE ON FOODS SEH-MI SUSHI SPORTSPLEX

What were your thoughts when you first came to Trinity? “Race to wifey!” - Graham Gibson

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September 12, 2012

What were your thoughts when you first came to Trinity? “It’s really green here!” - Abigail Topacio 111119221-5_RICH_MARTLET_NEXUS_10x16.indd 1

CREATION DATE: 07/23/12 MODIFICATION DATE: July 26, 2012 3:57 PM OUTPUT DATE: 07/31/12 DOCKET #: 111119221-5 CLIENT: MJTI DESCRIPTION: Career Trek Print Ads

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ARTS & CULTURE.

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EMMA SPANJER emma.spanjer@mytwu.ca

Fall into fashion |

KAITIE SIMONSON

Let’s start things off with a little honesty: I am well aware that fall fashion is not everyone’s greatest concern when September rolls around. Especially freshmen students who are entering a new chapter in their lives which includes, and is not limited to, a new school, new friends, orientation, and probably moving onto campus with a roommate who watches weird Youtube videos. I totally get it. This

article is merely meant as a helpful reminder and perhaps a useful tool in constructing your wardrobe for the following few months. And the best part about it all is that some of what walked down the runway on those 80-pound models you already have in your closet.

So don’t stress about staying up to date on the latest trends. Heave a sigh of relief and enjoy this lighthearted dialogue on what’s what in the world of clothing.

Girls

Guys

RED: this lovely color has replaced black as the go-to this fall.

Wear it as a blouse, dress, skirt, pants, or shoes. Some of you may dare to wear it head to toe, whereas others can perhaps only han-

BLUE-BLACK: many collections this year showed a darker side of fashion by exploring this new shade of coloring. It is essentially just a very dark blue, but when seen on a tie, dress pants, or perhaps a whole suit, it really is quite knee-weakening.

a statement and has been known to attract a double take from time to time.

LEATHER: although many designers this season appeared to

BLACK & WHITE: this simply means that these two neutrals are being worn in contrast this fall.

Wear a blouse or dress with black and white graphic prints or simply match black jeans or leggings with a white top. It is not every day that white is seen after the summer months so take full advantage of this sudden trend and don’t throw your whites in the back of the closet just yet.

length and over-structured pieces, each one had this simple wardrobe staple in common. I would challenge some of you to attempt something beyond the usual motorcycle or bomber version of this trend, but then again, it’s best to stick to what you know looks good.

WORN-in-DENIM: a pair of dark wash jeans is never a bad idea, but this fall a distressed look has greater appeal. Considering most boys usually only have about one or two pairs of jeans anyway, this

COZY SWEATERS: any pattern, any color, any material will do. I would think

this trend is not true for short shorts, which we all know most of you will attempt either by peer pressure from your dorm or just sheer curiosity.

who doesn’t have at least one oversized, somewhat quirky, somewhat stylish version of this trend. And if you don’t, there is a Value Village jam-packed with said goodies just down the road. Take full advantage and enjoy!

BLAZERS & SPORT JACKETS: I know most of you probably think blazers are only for weddings or TWUSA Executives, so if they make you uncomfortable I would suggest the more casual sport jacket. It comes in a number of different materials and can easily make a plain t-shirt and jeans seem subtly more put together.

PLAID & TARTAN: although the latter is harder to come by in the average closet, plaid is certainly not. Found mostly on skirts, sweaters, and shirts, this nifty pattern can be found in almost every shade and color, which is what we love about it. You can be unique whilst also staying on trend— the perfect compromise.

TRENCHCOAT: I am not saying you have to go all Mad Men on us now. The fedora and chain smoking is not necessary; however, the trench coat does have the ability to make any guy look super suave—if done right. Styling

PRINTED LEGGINGS: this trend has been around for many years now, so most girls probably have a pair of basic black that is worn more regularly than we would like to admit. I am challenging you, however, to step out boldly in a printed version this season. Online companies such as

little too serious and intense for most, so consider one that is more jacket length in other colors besides khaki, such as hunter green or perhaps that oh so mysterious blue-black.

Although fashion can be intoxicating and rather whimsical for many, the most important thing is that you feel comfortable in what you wear. The trick is to work appropriate trends into your unique and individual style. They should not consume you or take

a whole new level by creating prints replica of Van Gogh’s famous paint-

as always, the best way to make heads turn.

CHRIS MONTGOMERY

TIMESTAMPS Hot Chip @ Commodore Ballroom

Nursing and NATS Coffee and Timbits Morning

add/drop date

Teagan and Sara @ The Vogue

Matisyahu @ The Vogue

Kimbra @ Commodore Ballroom

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Spartans Mens Basketball @ LEC

Music Bingo @ Fort Langley Pub

Edward Sharpe and The Magetic Zeros @ Malkin Bowl

Men’s Soccer @ Home, Women’s Soccer @ Home

Animal Collective @ the Malkin Bowl

Music Bingo @ Fort Langley Pub

Jason Mraz @ Rogers Arena

Fort Langley Village Farmers Market

Tell your mom you love her

Music Bingo @ Fort Langley Pub

Owl City @ Commodore ballroom

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Bloc Party @ The Vogue

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What were your thoughts when you first came to Trinity? “Oh my goodness, I got lost! I don’t know where I am!” - Miguel Melga

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September 12, 2012

Summer listens Metric | Synthetica If you were expecting Synthetica to have the optimistic tone of the previous album Fantasies, you may be disappointed. Metric’s newest

who sifts through important issues that deserve attention.

This album is truly the creation of artists. Metric have become masters of synth-pop. If you weren’t jamming out to this album in the summer, the fall is a good season to start. EMMA SPANJER

Fiona Apple | The Idler Wheel...

It has been more than seven years since Apple’s last release, so the time is more than ripe for something new. Apple has emerged from her hiatus as an evolved artist, and proven said hiatus to have been quite productive. features intimate lyrics and bold instrumental pieces that, along with the drama created through her signature beautiful vocals, are evidently purposeful in building the album

well to uphold the power that fans have come to expect from her. creasing number of female-fronted indie bands. Perhaps it is her creative edge, or her ability to manipulate vocals, music, and silence into

EMMA SPANJER

Stars | The North “Well, the only way I see this happening is an extended ride north” These opening words of Stars’ latest album are indicative of an essence that the record attempts to capture. Beginning in 1999, the you guessed it, The North.

In a time where indie-pop is increasingly mainstream, Stars represents a part of that culture that has its roots in bands that constructed You don’t need to be well versed in Stars’ music to fall in the love with this album. Vocalists Torquil Campbell and Amy Millan provide range and variety ensuring that this album stands out amongst others in its genre. Campbell’s subtle croon is drawn out by Millan’s sac-

call it tragedy.” The wistfulness seeded amongst the album seems out of place coming from middle-aged musicians, but in the end I’m won over by the strength of the sentiment and the beauty that the north inspires. EMMA SPANJER

Key Songs: Theory of Relativity, A Song is a Weapon

Coming to a theatre near you...

September is in full swing, as is the new school year, and that means that we’re in need of some new ways to distract ourANDREW selves from the troublesome nuisance that STEWART is school. So in the spirit of procrastination, let’s explore some of the great options coming up on both the big screen and the small. ternational Film Festival (TIFF), and there are a number of high

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also set to feature a number of famous video game characters

directed by There Will Be Blood’s Paul Thomas Anderson, is one matic leader of a religious organization and it’s said to be based

November 9th is the limited release of Steven Spielberg’s biopic

they did.

November 9th is a big day, with the release of the 23rd Bond

sidered by many to be one of the greatest directors of all time.

At the end of the semester, exam season will bring with it -

on the long-running, award-winning musical of the same name.

A number of interesting, ambitious, and highly anticipated sequels, changes from the source material, the shoeing-in of

I’m not even going to attempt to summarize the plot for you, as it -

an absolute must see.

So there you have it. This is by no means a comprehensive guide to fall movies, but hopefully you’ve found a few things to

numerous different roles set in numerous different time periods -

What were your thoughts when you first came to Trinity? “I am in shock about the 3 to 1 ratio!” - Kevin Solano

creative.

September 12, 2012

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this space belongs to you

|

JUSTIN POULSEN

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A Hipster Hobbit’s Manifesto I come from the underground, and ahead of the sound that’s already been found I tread. And with an air, I am he that stalks the music scene. I am the culture is stolen and broken asunder. I am he that curses what my friends admire and frowns on them and guffaws at their inferior ken of the post-modern. I come from the douche of bag, but no messtares and the pest of regals. I am style-chagrinner 1 and taste-despairer; and I am label-denier

Irony-lover Anti-showerer Frequenter of bars that are dirtier on the inside than the outside Grandma’s sweater-wearer (Grandpa’s sweaters aren’t gender neutral enough) Beard-grower Watcher of only movies that require subtitles or who’s directors names cannot be pronounced Tumblr-writer Helvetica-typer Vintage-thrifter Quinoa-cooker (rice is so mainstream) Pitchfork-peruser Bieber-loather

SUBMITat marshillcreative

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DANIEL HURST

Unterminable

@gmail.com |

SARAH GREGORY The Symphony Under the boughs of an apple tree, Stillness and the shade of green Sparrows whistle, robins sing, “Away, away with noisy things!”

Leaves shake in a whimsy breeze, Sights and sounds are symphonies, Above all castles and their kings Are lofty clouds on silver wings.

But, at last, I have found peace In the country, which still rings With pure delights and simple things.

[spaces]

inspired by

twu

What arewhen you most looking to this summer?

“No homework” -Crista Waldner What were your thoughts you first cameforward to Trinity?

“This will DEFINITELY only take me four years” - Nate Rubiliak

.com

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September 12, 2012

SPORTS.

CAMERON STUERLE cameron.stuerle@mytwu.ca

Spartan soccer underway Women dominate; Men play well on opening weekend.

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The long off season for the TWU Soccer teams

CAMERON STUERLE -

SCOTT STEWART

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-

TICKET$

-

vball 226 games games bball 1 game

$30 $15 $4

soc cer

13 games $10 1 game $2

hoc key

12 games $15 6 games $10 1 game $2

For your RECognition Dale Baumgartner

Braden Humphrey

Graeme Horton

Brianna Vyn

Dominique deFleuriot

Maria Wilson

Taryn Zabolotniuk

Esther Nieuwenhuis

Michelle Russell

Eric Strom

Danae Tracey

Michael Fama

Eric Holmlund

Andrew Hansen

Manager

Joey Meraw

Dallas Fontaine

What wereare your thoughts when you Trinity? “Everyone is so pumped for school!”

- Patricia Torres What you most excited forfirst thiscame year?to“Events like the Banana Challenge” - Jen Newman

September 12, 2012

SPORTS

Spartans represent Canada

HAPPY TIMES Happy 34th Birthday Ed Reed!

Reed has contemplated retirement for at least the last four seasons.

Despite the fact that Reed is coming back for his 11th and possibly

Women’s volleyball team looks good at Pan-Am games.

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CAMERON STUERLE

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After the Men’s volleyball team received the honour of representing Canada at an international tournament in

the Hall of Fame after his career. him for his performance at the University of Miami because of his amazing sideline speeches/ tirades.

Happy Anniversary Pete Rose! On this day 27 years ago, Rose passed Ty Cobb to become baseball’s alltime leading hitter. Despite being -

go because the other teams in the tournament Rose is not in the hall of fame because of a disgraceful gambling scandal.

Happy Trails to the Los Angeles Dodgers! The team that is totally not making the playoffs this year.

already had experience playing professionally.

Whatever the disadvantages, real or persigns that the team is ready for big things this

reverse-jinx].

VOLLEYBALL CANADA

-

amount of great teams in the eight team tour-

no doubt bring the girls closer together as a team and make them better as they head into -

performance of the tournament by absolutely boat-racing Costa Rica 25-16, 25-15, 25-18

certainly a possibility.

capitalize on a bevy of Columbian turnovers a straight-set loss to a very good Argentinian

D

VE L O V N I

match up against Cuba. The Cubans came in as a favourite in the tournament but suffered some disappointments early on that put them

nationals, the girls still had something to play -

convincingly, but let a great opportunity slip

T GE

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How to be a fan in 10 ways

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ith

w

Hey freshmen! On behalf of the Trinity Western University Athletic Depart-

CAMERON STUERLE

and sing along, standing idly and doing nothing makes you look like a toolbox; as in, you add as much to the game day experience as a toolbox.

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3

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is completely unnecessary. Also, attending sports games does not free you of your

to ensure that they do these things; they do not need you telling them to do it.

gm @ ill

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What were your thoughts when you first came to Trinity? “Whatever they’re paying you to wear those shirts, it’s not enough.” - Anon.

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September 12, 2012

This. Is. Spartans. |

MARK JANZEN

There are two things that can be guaranteed when you arrive on the campus of Trinity Western University.

Fact Number 1: You’re coming to, pound for pound, one of the best sporting universities in Canada.

Fact Number 2: You’re joining the best university fan base in the country.

The former you’ll realize with a quick perusal of the banners hanging from the gymnasium walls. The latter you’ll come to understand simply by experiencing the spirit of what we call around these parts, the “Spartan Faithful.” And as the 2012-13 season gets underway, the wave of excitement is already palpable. After all, this year could well turn out to be one of the most memorable Spartans seasons ever and this is your chance to be a part of history.

Starting on the volleyball court, the Spartans are going international like never before. By the end of September, both the men’s and the women’s volleyball teams will have represented Canada – that’s right, the maple leaf, the red and white, the whole darn country – at the U-23 Pan American ment.

As for the men’s team, well, the twotime defending CIS champions will play as Team Canada right in their own backyard. The Langley Events Centre will host the U-23 Pan American Men’s Volleyball Cup from Sept. 25-30 and there’s no doubt it’ll be one of the greatest events you’ll ever witness as a member of the Spartan Faithful. With the tournament featuring teams like Brazil, Argentina, Venezuela and, of course, Trinity Western, this is one serious event.

And all this international talk is just the beginning for the Spartans volleyball teams. Following their respective tournaments, their quest to claim the CIS national championship begins, and for both sides—the men’s team being the two-time reigning national champions and the women’s team having been to three of the past four national tournaments—that’s something they have placed directly in this year’s crosshairs.

While the volleyball teams are busy donning the maple leaf, the soccer teams will be working on once again proving their dominance within both the Canada West and the CIS. The reigning Canada West champion women’s side will be after one thing: winning the national championship. After two years without a CIS crown—following winning the title in both 2008 and 2009—enough is enough and the Spartans plan to correct past mis-

takes this fall and get back to the top.

While the women’s team enters the season as a known commodity, the Spartans men’s team, also with championship trophies dancing in its dreams, is lurking in the weeds ready to surprise. And if there’s one team that can do just that and capture championship glory, it’s the Trinity Western men’s soccer team.

On the basketball court, both the men’s and women’s teams will be looking to carve a new niche for themselves in the Canada West conference. The rebuilding women’s team missed out on the playoffs by little more than a whisker last season and this year, with a quickly developing cast, they appear plenty capable of rectifying last year’s close call and getting back into the post-season parade. Similarly, the men’s team is hoping to take strides forward with a new group and a new attitude. With only turning, this is a fresh bunch. But lookout, these guys are players.

Then there’s the wildly accelerated growth of the Spartans three-year-old While they might be young, these teams are gearing up to make a run at the top and there’s no doubt come this fall and next spring, they’ll be returning home from both the Canada West and CIS championships with a serious medal haul.

Jumping into the pool, the Spartans young swimming team will once again be ence championships. With a near-medal last year, this year the goal is to be on the podium. There’s plenty of optimism they have the ability to do just that.

From the pool to the ice, the Spartans hockey team, who plays in the BCIHL, are a must see as this group is a hungry bunch seeking redemption. After missing the playoffs last year, with a fresh crop of new players injecting a renewed focus into a quality core of returning veterans, the Spartans don’t plan on letting that happen again.

From September until March, the Spartans, and their Faithful fans, will once again be the best of the CIS’s best. And if there ever was a guarantee that trumped all, it’s this.

Fact Number 3: When game time comes, you will not want to miss out.

Season and individual tickets are now on sale at ticketmaster.ca or at the door and make sure to get your brand new Spartans Faithful t-shirt.

LAURA JENSEN

What were your thoughts when you first came to Trinity? “Thank you, Jesus!” - Richard Gauthier

September 12, 2012

HUMOUR.

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KAITIE SIMONSON kaitlee.simonson@mytwu.ca

you’re allowed to laugh at this page.

Freshmen DOs and DON’Ts 1. THE CAFETERIA: T h e cafeteria conKAITIE SIMONSON veniently provides plastic trays in a lovely hunter-green shade.

They are never used, and frankly it’s frowned upon if you do for some reason. I consider them to be one of the most convenient and unappreciated devices on campus- who wouldn’t want to stack their goods daintily on a rectangle dream? If you use a tray, it makes it a lot easier to act out

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a scene from some teenage drama where they serve “mystery meat” and coleslaw. You should all try it out. And also quickly while we’re on the subject of faux pas, just know with great certainty that sooner or later you will either slip and fall on perhaps both. Accept it, take a bow and move on.

2. MUSIC: I don’t know if it’s a university thing or just a weird Trinity quirk, but you

ALUMNI ASSOCIATION WISHES THE TWU

COMMUNITY A VERY HAPPY

50TH

twualumni.org

mars’ tweets

really don’t have to be embarrassed by the kind of music you listen to.

This is an environment where everybody still knows all the words to “Barbie Girl” by Aqua (look up those lyrics immediately if I’m wrong about this), and “Party in the USA”

by Miley Cyrus is a necessity on every playlist. Josh Groban thrives in this world of strangeness that is about to be yours, and yes, Justin Bieber is very much alive and well on this campus.

3.WEATHER: The weather is awful sometimes and it’s just something you have to get over. I highly recommend This way you don’t ruin any quality shoes and you also give off that whole “whatever dude” attican totally tell where people are from by the way they react to rain.

Northwest coasters suffer through it without a second thought, Ontarians whip out the umbrella at the sight of a dark cloud, and Californians dress in “rain resistant” gear from head to toe because rumor has it that we Canadians live in igloos and cold weather is a fact of life up here.

4. FOOD CARD: Be careful with your food card.

I guarantee about 1% of you will actually do this and that’s okay. I get it. This tiny plastic card creates a world where Ben & Jerry’s can be a daily ritual, and the Spartan Burger is always better when

you have two of them. It makes you look slick when you pay for someone else’s meal and everyone loves saying “don’t worry about it, I got this.”

It’s not so cool, however, when you

of canned refried beans to delight in (thanks Dad). This was my reality TWICE and I just really don’t think anyone else should ever have to go through that.

5. PRANKING: Prank as much as possible. The determination to prank another dorm or person wears off as the years go on, so I think it should be used and abused to the utmost during your freshmen year. I greatly regret not doing it more. The trick is to make it original, cost-effective, and just plain awful. Maybe try and avoid using things that smell like human feces (ask your Editor-inChief about that) or making people cry (ask Hannah Wanous about this). If you’re not going to do it for yourself, then do it for those who are graduating so we can heave a sigh of relief knowing this school is being left in good hands.

6. PROFESSORS: This may sound cliché, but you seriously don’t have to be afraid of your professors. Indeed, some will be as sweet as honey, whereas others will play the power card right off the bat.

But have no fear. If it makes you feel any better, last year I accidentally told a professor I thought he was attractive. Luckily, he awkwardly

laughed. Perhaps I made his day.

Perhaps he avoids me around campus now. You never know with these things.

7. DORM LIFE: Boys dorms are a strange and yet mystical place where nakedness is accepted with open arms, videogames are best played at 3 a.m. and the mentality that everything you do is “always for the boys” runs through their I still can’t even begin to explain what kind of world they live in. The quicker girls realize this, the better. While they are busy doing who knows what after dorm hours, girls can be assured that somewhere in their own living facilities, the beginning of a Gilmore Girls/The O.C/ Grey’s Anatomy marathon is beginning and you’re invited.

8.PARTICIPATION: Participate in absolutely everything possible. If someone wants to play tree tag at midnight, you put on your darkest clothing with pride and determination and run through those trees like your life depends on it. If a dorm mate challenges you to an eating contest, then you stuff your self full until it’s coming up in reverse. Treat Fort Week (you’ll get this reference in second semester) like it’s your reason for living and never look back. Trinity is all about community and if you are not actively apart of it then what’s the point?

compiled by KAITIE SIMONSON

@Mitchesoren: If I had a dollar for every time I heard, “aren’t you graduated?” I probably could have retired 10 times over by now #tdub

@Benye_wust: When someone text you back “haha sorry who is this?” a part of your self-esteem melts away.

@Sco!4syth: If you tickled Batman, would he laugh in his bat voice!? Or in Bruce Wayne’s voice?

@TLWsGurl: Waking up with a mullet every day isn’t as humorous as it used to be. #thinhairproblems #Wah

@Daniel_jvd: Truman show is on TV…like I need to be reminded why I was paranoid for most of my childhood.

@Nate_Rubzz: @50cent is naming my autobiographical film “Get A Girlfriend, Or Die Trying” considered as copyright infringement?

BROOKE HIGGINBOTHAM

What were your thoughts when you first came to Trinity? “I’m not very funny on the spot!” - Justine Horn

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September 12, 2012

DE-CLASSIFIEDS.

marshillonline.com/de-classified

Mars’ Hill editors reserve the right to edit or reject submissions based on content and/or length. A printed submission does not necessarily reflect an endorsement of any kind, nor does it necessarily reflect the opinions of Mars’ Hill staff , the student association, or that of the University. In fact probably not.

Wanted: Student who will clean my basement. No questions asked.

She’s single and ready to mingle.

I’d give you her number but then she would kill me. Instead boys, get to know some girls and ask them out. maybe she will be one of them cuz I know she thinks your cute! trinitywestern.tumblr.com Look, I get that it’s the 50th anniversary and everything, but no Hawaiian shirts at O-Week this year!? Travesty.

No I wasn’t late for class because, I felt like being late. It’s because I felt like having my hands dry.

It’s not my fault the paper towel dispense at snail’s pace Insert pathetic and cryptic plea for a desirable member of the opposite gender here.

SURPRISE BACK HUG! All I want is to watch the sun set with you once, and then I can die a happy man.

Jen Newman, what an beautiful girl and a gem! Someone should take that girl out on a date ASAP. K.S., I’m in love with you.

Sincerely, T.D.and H. Shameless plug: Please buy my bio 241 books at the cube.

Have you ridden the horse in the Back 40 yet?

Andrew Stewart is the Tara Teng of the Mars’ Hill Can you find the magical sparking power line on campus? Hint: It only comes out in the rain.

It is with great pleasure that Mars’ Hill announces the long awaited return of the Himnal. a feature where students get to know a few of the Godly single men of our campus as friends. ...and perhaps a little more.

share your feedback. retweet articles and photos.

Hey girl with the orange shirt on O-Day, can we hook up?

No romance on campus this year could possibly be be!er than Chavril Fear not Norma, I’ll catch the laptop bandit. Signed, VikingRabbi Fresh meat! Who’s excited!?

Ho!est profs on campus? J.K. & L.S. I know I fail you, please forgive me.

I feel like YOLO is carpe diem for illiterates.

V-neck Vednesdays!

Why is the guy’s bathroom, first floor RNT, STILL LOCKED?!?!?

Heard Tia call J.G. Jer Bear. Let the rumour mill grind.

Mike Bodner: Best heiny on campus.

THE HIMNAL Age: 22 Height: 6’1

Political Studies

Hometown: Abbotsford Denomination: Evangelical Preacher: Matt Chandler Bible Verse: Proverbs 18:22 (ESV) Hymn: “It is Well with My Soul” Views on courtship: A wise father (not

Number one quality in a future mate: Humility Best place for a first kiss: The altar...

my own) once told me that a relationship with a girl is a relationship with her family.

belongs to you.

Idea of a perfect date: Making sand-

follow the staff as they make your next issue!

Since when did Trinity get so many new cute boys....now if only one would just ask me ouuut.

Marlie Snider, totes pwns the West Coast Collegium. Remember, remember the 5th of November.

John Wiebe

There’s a reason they call us super seniors. Someone calls us that right?

#mh1213

Hopefully this will be my year - future pastor looking for submissive wife

wiches and serving them in the Downtown East Side, naturally followed by a coffee shop visit, or back home to play some Bible Trivia.

Good age to get married: 19

hah. Front porch—kiss goodnight.

Best pick up line: I believe one of my ribs How do you know if it’s love: When you work seven years for her hand in marriage and it only feels like a few days.

Unique skill that makes you “The One”: My awareness that HE is the one.

SCOTT FORSYTH

CHRIS MONTGOMERY

JUSTIN POULSEN

BETHANY ROY

LAURA JENSEN

CAMERON REED

LARISSA KROEKER

EMMA SPANJER

CAMERON STUERLE

KAITIE SIMONSON

JUSTIN SMITH

BROOKE HIGGINBOTHAM

CHRISTINE RMAH

DALLAS FONTAINE

ALEX PLENITS

editor in chief

academy editor

layout assistant

visual editor

news editor

illustration editor

managing editor

arts & culture editor

web presence

chief copy editor

sports editor

finance manager

photography editor

humour editor

advertising manager

What were your thoughts when you first came to Trinity? “Seems like everyone takes espresso shots in the morning!” -Janice Abacho