DECLASSIFIEDS

BEST OF THE DECLASSIFIEDS

is having a crush on emmett hanly for at least one month still a requirement to graduate with a theatre degree now that he’s gone?

My roommate just confused Tom Brady and Ted Bundy… Please send help.

How ironic is it to have a class on Excel that no one excels in.

Linguistics is the gateway drug to Philosophy

do first years even know about mars hill?

The 8am lawnmower outside Douglas is causing spiritual warfare

okay but like Mars’ Hill kinda be poppin this year tho

You can’t scare me, I took BUSI 176 online during the summer

You can only call them baby first years if you’re willing to take care of them

In these unprecedented times < in this tempestuous epoch

Y’all who wished for more parking... you happy now?

God is my plug

Trinity culture was boutta kill the introvert in me but covid19 got my back

Bob Kuhn wouldn’t let this happen

pLeAsE TuRn yOuR cAmErA oN Anyone else pin the video of the cutest person in your zoom class, or is that just me?

At this point, I’m mostly just surprised Pillar hasn’t hired Toru and made a whole section based solely on his candids. Jus a lil’ thought for ya there @Pillar

When the prof calls my name but I haven’t been paying attention: “Sorry my internet is very slow today. The audio keeps cutting.”

“I hate that one of my hobbies is watching Netflix” “but at least it’s not crack cocaine”

When is taylor swift gonna save my life next?

one minute they call u marx hill the next minute they wanna be u

“it’s a camera off kinda day”

Survey answer i forgot: twu can fix mental health by allowing pets and alcohol on campus

Don’t tell the profs what happens in breakout rooms. What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.

RIP ring by spring

If you wanna let me know I have a booger USE PRIVATE MESSAGE ON ZOOM INSTEAD OF PUTTING IT IN THE CHAT FOR EVERYONE.

I don’t like boys anymore they’ll like run out of toilet paper and not buy any for 3 months. 20 grand a year to drive down a gravel road everyday like I’m in a country song

Guys Brooklyn 99 is ending after Season 8 :( Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. No doubt, no doubt, no doubt…

I stg these effing lawn mowers bro I’m tryna play fortnite

still thinking about forsaking all things and becoming a sheepherder in a quiet polish village

How can 4th years be into freshmen. They are literally babies

I just wanna be as rich as the kids who live ten minutes away but still live on campus.

Ladies if he’s completely open and transparent, keeps you in the loop about current events, and pays for your coffee, that’s not your man - that’s TWUSA

I just saw two boys on one scooter and I’ve never seen a truer bromance I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I kinda miss the Himnal/Shevangelist

How much does it cost to have someone else write your thesis?

It’s ridiculous I pay $30,000 a year and have to dry my clothes with a fan because the dryers don’t work. Cmon man.

A minimum of 8 sources???!!?? Can my death certificate be one of them??????? Boyle is the king of simping

If the human mind is smarter than the most powerful computer, than why can’t I understand Excel??

Yeah, sex is great, but have you ever handed in a paper within a minute of the deadline?

Ranting in the declassifieds is like screaming into the void

When will the SAMC theatre do a musical production of “Jesus Christ Superstar?”

Jake and Amy from Brooklyn 99 have set my relationship standards too high

“I love angsty dads” - our VP, Abigail Sefzik, 2020

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