BEST OF THE
DECLASSIFIEDS
is having a crush on emmett hanly for at least one month still a requirement to graduate with a theatre degree now that he’s gone? My roommate just confused Tom Brady and Ted Bundy… Please send help. How ironic is it to have a class on Excel that no one excels in. Linguistics is the gateway drug to Philosophy do first years even know about mars hill? The 8am lawnmower outside Douglas is causing spiritual warfare okay but like Mars’ Hill kinda be poppin this year tho You can’t scare me, I took BUSI 176 online during the summer You can only call them baby first years if you’re willing to take care of them In these unprecedented times < in this tempestuous epoch Y’all who wished for more parking... you happy now? God is my plug Trinity culture was boutta kill the introvert in me but covid19 got my back Bob Kuhn wouldn’t let this happen pLeAsE TuRn yOuR cAmErA oN
Anyone else pin the video of the cutest person in your zoom class, or is that just me?
20 grand a year to drive down a gravel road everyday like I’m in a country song
At this point, I’m mostly just surprised Pillar hasn’t hired Toru and made a whole section based solely on his candids. Jus a lil’ thought for ya there @Pillar
Guys Brooklyn 99 is ending after Season 8 :( Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. No doubt, no doubt, no doubt…
When the prof calls my name but I haven’t been paying attention: “Sorry my internet is very slow today. The audio keeps cutting.” “I hate that one of my hobbies is watching Netflix” “but at least it’s not crack cocaine” When is taylor swift gonna save my life next? one minute they call u marx hill the next minute they wanna be u “it’s a camera off kinda day” Survey answer i forgot: twu can fix mental health by allowing pets and alcohol on campus Don’t tell the profs what happens in breakout rooms. What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. RIP ring by spring If you wanna let me know I have a booger USE PRIVATE MESSAGE ON ZOOM INSTEAD OF PUTTING IT IN THE CHAT FOR EVERYONE. I don’t like boys anymore they’ll like run out of toilet paper and not buy any for 3 months.
I stg these effing lawn mowers bro I’m tryna play fortnite still thinking about forsaking all things and becoming a sheepherder in a quiet polish village How can 4th years be into freshmen. They are literally babies I just wanna be as rich as the kids who live ten minutes away but still live on campus. Ladies if he’s completely open and transparent, keeps you in the loop about current events, and pays for your coffee, that’s not your man - that’s TWUSA I just saw two boys on one scooter and I’ve never seen a truer bromance I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I kinda miss the Himnal/Shevangelist How much does it cost to have someone else write your thesis?
Boyle is the king of simping If the human mind is smarter than the most powerful computer, than why can’t I understand Excel?? Yeah, sex is great, but have you ever handed in a paper within a minute of the deadline? Ranting in the declassifieds is like screaming into the void When will the SAMC theatre do a musical production of “Jesus Christ Superstar?” Jake and Amy from Brooklyn 99 have set my relationship standards too high “I love angsty dads” - our VP, Abigail Sefzik, 2020
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It’s ridiculous I pay $30,000 a year and have to dry my clothes with a fan because the dryers don’t work. Cmon man. A minimum of 8 sources???!!?? Can my death certificate be one of them???????
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