SaneMakeAmerica Again

By Phyllis King

Michael Adamse received his Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology from the University of Miami after completing a pre-doctoral fellowship at Yale University. He was appointed as an Adjunct Assistant Professor at both the University of Miami and Nova Southeastern University, where he lectured worldwide. He also served as a Medical Corps, U.S. Army Reserve Captain.

Dr. Adamse specializes in relationship issues and has practiced for over forty years. He is an expert psychological commentator on many issues and has participated in over 300 radio, print, and TV interviews. Make America Sane Again is a ground-breaking, out-of-the-box exploration of major issues facing Americans today. Using a common-sense approach that emphasizes personal responsibility, the book focuses on solutions utilizing a conversational writing style. His first book, Affairs of the Net, published by HCI Books in 1996, represented a cutting-edge online relationship study. In addition, Dr. Adamse has appeared on multiple national media outlets in recognition of his expertise in this area.

Dr. Adamse's first novel, Anniversary, published in 1998, is an inspirational story and represents HCI Books' first fiction-based book in over twenty-five years of publishing. The book was translated and released in Japan, Poland, and Hungary.

His novel, God's Shrink, was published by HCI Books in 2007 and was met with critical acclaim. The book was translated and released in Japan, where it achieved best-seller status. It was also released in Poland, Portugal, and Brazil. In addition, he co-authored the screenplay, which is in development. Dr. Adamse also hosted a weekly National Public Radio Show, On the Couch, which featured interviews with various nationally recognized leaders in literature, the arts, entertainment, politics, and the media.

Today I am speaking with Dr. Michael Adams. He has a doctorate in clinical psychology and specializes in relationship issues. He has practiced for over 40 years. We're going to talk about his book Make America Sane Again

I enjoyed the book, quite common sense. How did you come to do this work?

My family came to the United States as an immigrant family in 1954. The last day Ellis Island was open was in November 1954. They had endured World War II and all the suffering that involved occupation and more. I grew up in a large European family in Long Island, New York, on a farm. I worked hard and went to school. I ended up as an undergraduate at Stony Brook State University. I became a philosophy major. I realized at one point philosophy is great, but can I make a living with it. I became a double major, got my degree in psychology, went on to graduate school, and completed my Ph.D. at the University of Miami, went up to Yale in Connecticut, came back to Florida, and started a private practice. I have done about 90,000 hours of therapy. I've seen people go through all kinds of challenges in life. I have been very blessed to help them.

I was curious, too, that you said after 911, you enlisted in the army. Yes, at the age of forty-nine. 911 was on a Tuesday. By that Friday, I knew the troops were going to need a lot of help. I joined the Medical Corps. I was forty-nine. I was a couple of years past the age limit for the Medical Corps. I petitioned the Surgeon General of the army at the Pentagon with a letter. I said, I'm a couple of years older than the limit, but I'll work out and get in shape. I'll do what needs to be done." The Surgeon General granted me a waiver. I went into the reserves for a few years and was honored to work with veterans and talk about their experiences and what they have been through. These are probably the richest years of my career.

A remarkable story. All right, so make America sane again. Are we insane? I'm going to answer the question by saying we were saner before. This country has always had challenges in various forms. In contemporary America, we are in a great divide right now. That puts us at risk in our country. Are we an insane country? Of course not. We have massive challenges. We were standing together before because we were more tolerant. That is what's missing.

In the book, you talk about the influence of media and social media. The opening chapter of the book is Stop Feeding the Elephant. I make a case that the more negative media you watch, the more propaganda you're exposed to the more you reinforce negative imaging and thought processes. My thesis is it makes people depressed, anxious, and more likely to engage in addictions. Here is a metric nobody can wrap their heads around. That is the suppression of the immune system. The more exposure to negativity, the more your immune system gets exhausted.

It leaves you susceptible to both physical and emotional illness. I make a strong case that it is not in your interest to watch negative news.

We don't think that the media influences us physiologically. No, we do not think about that. There is something called general Adaptation Syndrome. Once we are exposed to repeated stress over and over again, we get into what's called the exhaustion phase. First, we are trying to cope with it. Over time we have difficulty coping. Then we become physically and emotionally exhausted. That leads to a position where they are susceptible to emotional and physical problems.

Our immune system can't handle it. Watch the news, and pay attention, but stay away from a lot of it, too, because it's making us sick.

Suppose we understand that the basis of aggression is always frustration. In other words, if somebody's acting aggressively, they have to be frustrated first. Frustration leads to aggression. You have to get to the root of what that is.

How do we cultivate self-awareness? It feels like people have gone to sleep and are numb to the noise.

I think that's very accurate. We have something in psychology called the observing ego, which is the ability to step back and look at how we are in the world and how we interact with others. That only comes with self-reflection. It's critically important to take a few minutes every day, whether it's the beginning of the day or the end of your day. Think how I am in the world. How did I behave today? What were my thought processes? Most importantly, am I spreading positive energy to other people or contributing negative energy?

I'm curious if people know the difference as we seem to be very attached to our points of view and become self-righteous. In my work, especially with couples, I hear one side of the story from one person until the other person comes in. If I wasn't trained, I might have a very eschewed idea and say, this person coming in sounds like a complete jerk. But guess what? They come in, they sit down, I hear their narrative, and start thinking, not so much. It's important to expose ourselves to a 360-degree view of every problem because there's more than one side.

How can the average person connect to their neighbor who is opposed politically?

It starts with an invitation. Would you be willing to discuss this with me and have a conversation with me? A lot of people are not capable of a conversation. As you know, listening is a skill, and it takes energy. It comes from a willingness to dialogue and to learn from each other. Listening may not change your mind or the other person's mind, but at least there'll be a sense you're willing to listen. If you are understood, then you won a really big battle.

I would love to hear you speak on our use of devices. What impact are they having on us? If our interface is constant with technology, we're losing human interaction. Seventy percent of communication is nonverbal. If we segue into a world of just internet relationships based on texting, emails, and that kind of thing, we're losing the nuances of dealing with another human being.

This is particularly important for young kids and young adults because they are susceptible to technology. I am a victim of it, too. I'm on text and email, but I don't play 30 to 40 hours of video games a week. We have an epidemic of video game insanity in this country. I have many kids I work with who play 30, 40, and 50 hours a week. That's like a full-time job, with overtime and nothing to show but a high score. Those kids aren't going outside and playing. They are not interacting with each other.

It's very difficult to put the genie back in the bottle. The solution is you have to tell kids at the youngest age that they can use the phone, the iPad, whatever, but you're going to be on a diet. This has to start early because it's very hard later on to pull it back.

My parents did not know where I was when I was a kid. They assumed I was somewhere in the neighborhood. Are we less safe now?

I think it is fair to say that we're less safe, but we're not catastrophically less safe. It's not as though I can't reach my kid right now; he's been abducted. Of course, these horrible things happen. Suppose the predominant response is fear, which makes the world a scary place, especially for young children. There's an uptick in concern about violent acts and abductions. Personally and professionally, I think we're overreacting.

How can we, as individuals, address violence in America?

Suppose we understand that the basis of aggression is always frustration. In other words, if somebody's acting aggressively, they have to be frustrated first. Frustration leads to aggression. You have to get to the root of what that is. The vast majority are young males. We have to take a look at that straight on.

It has been studied for a long time. If you're exposed to violent acts through the media, video games, movies, etc., you become desensitized. Let's say a young man is watching 34 hours a week, he is destroying images that look like people, and they're pretty graphic at times. That desensitizes him.

That kind of exposure to violence makes that person a little more likely, especially if they're unhinged, to be desensitized to where a mass shooting is a mass video game. In the mind of some of these psychopaths, I'm going for the high score. Some of this is a direct result of violence in the media and violence in video games. There is no question about it.

How do we raise awareness about this?

It starts with our parents, our grandparents, and hopefully, some good role models. They teach us how to behave properly. It also starts at school, where schools sensitize kids to other points of view - to disseminate information properly and to be kind. I have a colleague, Dr. Michelle Sukenik. I talk about her in the book. She has produced about 25 or 30 videos, "Mindful Minutes," targeted at elementary school kids. She talks about kindness, gratitude, emotional intelligence, tolerance, and bullying. These are all things kids need to learn at a young age to become more sensitive human beings.

Can we make a difference? Is there any reason to be hopeful? I am optimistic by nature. We have a real challenge ahead of us. I have an exercise in the book. I want you to imagine yourself as a cell in a body, and the body is the United States.

The United States has 338,000,000 people. You are one of those cells. Are you going to be an inflammatory cell or a T cell? T cells are killer cells that help to control inflammation. What are you going to be? Are you going to be somebody who adds to the problem or tries to improve the situation? We do not have the kind of influence to scale people on a massive government basis. We can do this on an individual basis with people that we touch. We can be positive, optimistic people, and that will spread good energy.

The book is Make America Sane Again. Dr. Michael Adamse, thank you so much for being here. I appreciate all that you do.

By Phyllis King