Massive Magazine Volume 01 Issue 04

MAY 2012 - ISSUE 04

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CONTENTS ISSUE 4 This edition represents the midpoint of MASSIVE magazine’s first year in the world of student media.

We now take a little break after this edition to give the designer, writers, photographers and illustrators a well deserved rest and a chance to plan for semester 2. Also, all the students are away on holiday so it makes sense.

A bit like climbing a tall mountain when the halfway point is a great place to stop and reflect on what has been achieved and where you want to eventually end up. It was never my intention to make it all the way up, but set up the course and base camp for future climbers.

It has been a good year so far.

We restructured three financially struggling student magazines and created a strong student voice for Massey University and changed the way student media is traditionally run.

There have been some stumbles along the way. I will be the first to point out the grammar errors and odd typo sneaking into print from time to time, but it has been a good ride so far and there have been more triumphs then failures. This is all thanks to the writers, and to the readers.

The last leg of the MASSIVE journey will be tough. It involves finding a replacement editor for next year. It was a goal of MASSIVE to employ only students or recent graduates as editors to keep the content relevant, fresh, and focused on the core student demographic. So the hunt is on, but don’t worry – there will be four months to train the next candidate to take up the throne and ensure that the publication continues its path to dominance.

Matt Shand, MASSIVE editor

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REGULARS 02. NEWS 04. LETTERS 33. COLUMNS 36. REVIEWS 38. COMIC 40. MASSIVE CROSSWORD

FEATURES 07. FASTER THAN LIGHT ON AN INTER-GALACTIC HIGHWAY 10. FINDING YOUR DIRECTION 12. THE BLUES OF HAVING FUN 14. LEGLESS IN NEW ZEALAND 18. EXPOSED: THE DARK ARTS OF PROFESIONAL WRESTLING 21. HUNTING HOME 26. HEADED IN THE WRONG DIRECTION 28. ARMAGEDDON NOW! 30. THE SOUND YOU HEAR IS METAL ON METAL

EDITOR Matt Shand editor@massivemagazine.org.nz 04 801 5799 ext 62068 DESIGN, LAYOUT & ART DIRECTION Cameron Cornelius allstylenotalent@gmail.com 04 801 5799 ext 62064 ADVERTISING & SPONSORSHIP MANAGER Jacob Webb advertising@mawsa.org.nz 04 801 5799 ext 62069 027 894 8000

CONTRIBUTORS

Matt Shand, Tien Hee, Nick Watson, Dayma Otene, Mike Ross, Olivia Marsden, Krysten McLeod, Yasmine Jellyman, David Dunn, Steph Collins, Sanjay Pharbhu, Olivia Jordan, Daniel hargreaves, Sam Bonney, Paul Berrington, Isabelle Truman, Jessica Roden, Jack Biggs, Georgia Forrester, Claydan Kirvan, Yvette Morrissey, Jacob Liley, Leila Rauzi, Dick Hardy, Blake Leitch, Morgan Browne, Hayley Grace Morrison, Shaun Mawsdley, Annabel Hawkins, Roy McGrath

PUBLISHER

Wellington Edition ISSN 2253-3133 (Print) ISSN 2253-3141 (Online)

Manawatu Edition ISSN 2253-315X (Print) ISSN 2253-3168 (Online)

Albany Edition ISSN 2253-3176 (Print) ISSN 2253-3184 (Online)

This publication uses vegetable based inks and environmentally responsible papers. The document is printed throughout on SUMO Laser, which is FSC® certified and from responsible and Well Managed Forests, manufactured under ISO14001 Environmental Management Systems. MASSIVE magazine is committed to reducing its environmental footprint.

NEWS MASSIVE APOLOGY

Massive Magazine would like to make a public apology to the Sikhi community for the accidental use of a spiritual leader within our February edition of Massive Magazine on page 37. The image of Guru Nanak Dev (the founder of the religion of Sikhism and the first of the ten Sikh Gurus) was placed above the ‘ask a Guru’ column which is a humor column involving satirical situations.

Guru Nanak Dev’s image was placed at the last minute and the cultural significance of the image was overlooked by editorial staff.

It was not an appropriate image to accompany the article and, as such, we have changed the image accompanying this column in future.

Massive Magazine would also like to thank members of the Sikhi community who took time to explain the significance of the image and how it was inappropriate, and were understanding to how these types of oversights can occur within magazines from time to time.

We would also like to offer sincere apologies if anyone was offended by the use of the image, it was not our intention.

Sincerely, Matt Shand Editor, MASSIVE Magazine

HUNT ON FOR MASSIVE 2013 EDITOR MASSIVE magazine is beginning its search for its editor for 2013.

The editor is responsible for the editorial direction of the publication, sourcing news and feature story ideas, managing contributors, and writing articles.

Under the publication’s charter, the editor must be a current Massey student (preferably a third-year student) but can be a recent graduate (a graduate can hold the position for one year after completing their degree).

MASSIVE’S foundation board implemented this initiative when the student publications from each campus merged into MASSIVE in February, to ensure the magazine remains relevant to students and to ensure MASSIVE was a training ground for student journalists.

Current editor Matt Shand, a graduate, says he learned a lot during his year as editor of 02

Magneto in 2011 and it really helped his studies.

“I have learnt even more as editor of MASSIVE. We need to pass on this opportunity to the next wave of students. It’s important that the position changes regularly because that ensures the publication doesn’t become too ‘samey’ or skewed to one person’s way of thinking.”

He, like the present designer, is based in Wellington, but the position is open to students across every campus, meaning the editorship could be based in Wellington, Palmerston North, or the Auckland association offices.

Shand says location will depend on where the best candidate is.

He says the job of editor is hard work, and because of that the interview process will be quite tough.

“We need to be tough because this job is very time-consuming.

The editor needs to have a thick

skin, and must have the ability to multi-task efficiently.”

Candidates can expect a lengthy interview process, after which a shortlist will be chosen. Then, a few weeks of work experience will help each candidate get a feel for what the job is all about and the workload. It is expected that the successful candidate will help produce the final 2012 edition to help settle him or her in.

Shand says people shouldn’t be put off by the workload.

“While it’s a lot of work, it’s also a lot of fun, and the boost to your CV is well worth the effort.

You will learn so much that will help you in your degree. The main thing is to just go for it.”

Applications are now open and will close July 1. People interested in applying for the position, or enquiring about any aspect of the job should email: editor@massivemagazine.org.nz or phone 04 801 5799 ext 62068

UPGRADE TO VET SCHOOL Massey University will spend $75 million upgrading and expanding New Zealand's only veterinary school, increasing its capacity to train vets by 180 students.

The investment will ensure Massey remains at the forefront of international veterinary scientific research and teaching and helps meet the growing demand for qualified veterinarians, University ViceChancellor Steve Maharey says.

"Veterinary, animal and biomedical sciences are central to what we do as a university and central to the sectors in which New Zealand is world leader," Mr Maharey says. "We want the quality of the facilities our students study in and our staff work in to match the quality of the qualifications we deliver."

Veterinary Council chairman Ron Gibson welcomed the investment, saying an increase in a capacity to train vets would be fully supported.

MASSIVE ARTISTS, ILLUSTRATORS & PHOTOGRAPHERS

NZUSA UNDER FIRE OVER ASSET SALE STANCE The New Zealand University Students Association has come under fire after taking a political stance on the sale of state assets without proper consultation of its members, the students they claim to represent.

Though NZUSA usually speaks out on student-related political issues, such as student loan schemes, course-related costs, and rising student debt, the decision to speak on asset sales, a non-specific student issue, has caused controversy.

The criticism comes after NZUSA Vice-President Arena Williams spoke at the citizens initiated referendum campaign opposed to the sale of state assets, saying “We know that lots of students are opposed to the sale of state assets”, without finding out if lots of students were in favour of the sale of assets.

The claim appears to be misleading, especially considering that in response to an email sent out days beforehand asking presidents to encourage students to attend the campaign launch, few bothered to attend. The email was also the first time some NZUSA members had heard of the stance being taken by the association.

That stance has been well documented on media websites by way of a press release, also sent to MASSIVE, headlined ‘Students enthusiastic supporters of Keep our Assets Campaign’. Banking on this support was Labour Party Leader David Shearer, who said at the launch that he was proud to work with the community groups leading the fight against asset www.massivemagazine.org.nz

sales, including Grey Power and NZUSA. Some student presidents, who make up the governing body of NZUSA, can’t recall the issue of asset sales being discussed at the University Sector Council (NZUSA’s board). This calls into question NZUSA’s role as the voice of students, and the appropriateness of an association taking a political stance on behalf of all students when not all would agree with it. How appropriate is it for an organisation that represents all students to take a narrow political stance?

The President of Massey University of Wellington Students Association (Mawsa), Ben Thorpe, is very vocal on this point.

He says that for the most part, Massey campuses have been free of political influence, even within the associations themselves.

“Mawsa stays out of politics because, quite frankly, students have different opinions about political issues. NZUSA should encourage students to participate in wider political issues, but not dictate that stance.”

Other Massey presidents have mixed ideas about NZUSA’s role in this issue.

The President of Massey University Students Association, Palmerston North (Musa), Alex Jones, says NZUSA should stick to advocating on issues that directly affect students as “it’s up to students themselves to decide if asset sales are good or not”.

But the President of Auckland Students Association , Albany (ASA), Stephan van Heerden

believes NZUSA is in a position to encourage students to think about political issues.

“People think it’s interesting that I am a National voter, and a student president, but part of being in an union is that you let that union speak on your behalf.

While you may not agree with the view, you can speak out against it. It’s part of being in a fair and democratic society.”

Ben Thorpe believes the issue is a result of the restructure NZUSA is currently experiencing and is an oversight.

“This isn’t an indication that the restructure had failed, but that issues have come out of it and need to be addressed. I am confident that the lessons learned from this example can be used to improve the NZUSA structure overall.”

NZUSA’s Arena Williams believes it was right for NZUSA to get involved in the asset sales issue. She says students are not taking part in elections actively and are instead voting with their feet and eventually leaving New Zealand.

“The role of student associations is to provide students with a voice both on and off campus.

Asset sales are an issue that will affect students as the future leaders of the country. It is not as issue that lasts three years, but 50 years.”

Ultimately, it will be up to students to decide if NZUSA’s involvement in this issue was correct and can be brought up with students associations at AGMs.

This edition is jam-packed with original artwork and photography. Here is recognition of the talented people who helped us make MASSIVE pretty.

Cover Art – Tien Hee Tien Hee is 22 years old and is studying part-time towards finishing up a degree in illustration while working as a game concept artist. He finished his major project last year with a team of animators on a short animation called Synaesthesia, based on the cross-modal condition of the same name.

Look out for that at Best Awards.

His work can be found at t-wei. blogspot.com or through facebook.com/tweihee.

Cover artwork can be downloaded at massivemagazine.org.nz Hunting Home Illustrations – Nick Watson.

Nick is a freelance illustrator from England (though he has spent the past few years travelling our fine world). He has had the fortune to meet many fantastic people during this adventure and seen some amazing places and recommends travelling to everyone.

“My main hobby is my art, especially painting and writing. I have an addiction for reading and love a good movie to take me away. Other than that, I giggle to comedy and I adore music.”

Samples of Nick’s work, and contact information can be found at www.nickyboo.com Wrestling Photography Dayma Otene The wrestling photography was provided by Massey Student Dayma Otene from Day by Day Photography.

“My grandparents bought me my first DSLR camera for my 21st present. Without them my passion for photography wouldn’t exist. Check out my photos on facebook at facebook.com/daybydayphoto”

Matt Shand 03

LETTERS

LETTERS

Massive magazine welcomes letters of all shapes and sizes, They should preferably be emailed to letters@massivemagazine.org.nz, though they can be dropped into any student association office. The Editor reserves the right to edit, abridge, or just plain bastardise them, and will refuse any that are in bad taste or defamatory.

Pseudonyms may be used.

STUDYLINK

There are one or two things I would like to say first. One is that I’d like to remain anonymous, for various reasons, and two, to congratulate you on your reporting!

Both the fracking and course related costs reports that I’ve read have been well rounded and full of information!

I read your report on course related costs due to the fact that anything Studylink related catches my eye as I regularly work at their processing centre. As such, I have processed this kind of thing all the time.

There are a couple of views on the course related costs depending on who you talk to, some of the more pedantic people that work at Studylink will try and give students the 1k per year, however, the exact policy is actually a little less specific on this.

From what I remember and understand, the course related costs is available per Loan Account, which cannot run more than a 52 week period. On top of this, each loan account is generally per institution.

I recall a particular exploit I came across where the student I questioned actually had multiple loans going throughout the year at the time. It was possible to get the course related costs as long as you were doing part time study 04

full year round. This has since been changed, and the Course related costs can only be received by a student that is doing full time, full year study.

Anyway, this particular student had a single paper in first semester, and a single paper in second semester, and by Studylink standards that made him part time full year, allowing access to CRC. Where the exploit was, is that he had 1 paper for each semester, with three different institutions.

At this point, that’s three different loan accounts that could be claimed for CRC each, and when someone does apply for more CRC after they have used the allotted 1k, it brings up a flag for someone at the processing centre to look into. it’s a simple matter of checking when the last time they got it, and if they are eligible for more. we generally compare a number of factors, and this outlines how... stupid... part of the system is.

If a student uses the full 1k for a computer one year, claims the next years full entitlement early enough to raise the flag, and goes under computer AGAIN, we are meant to ring them and ask why they need it for a computer, when last year they spent it on one.

However, if a student goes the full amount on travel both times, we pass over it. It seems silly to me to pass over one and not the other.

One of the other things we compare is whether or not the course the CRC is applied for is the same as previous applications.

Because the student was doing three different courses, and based on the legislation we had setup, we HAD to give the student the full amount, even though to us it seemed obvious he was working the system.

Another recent change to the CRC besides the requirement of being a Full time student, is that from... i think it is either 2013 or 2015, students aged 55 or over will not be eligible for CRC either.

Other things to note about CRC... the requirement for ‘receipts’ or ‘invoices’ is arbitrary really. we want everything done online so that there is less paper work, on top of that, if you put in however much money you

want as simply travel, either half the CRC or all of it, its not questioned. At All. there is realisticly too much effort in trying to make students prove they are using the amount for travel costs, as they dont spend it all on petrol at once do they? so it’s one of the ones we never question. generally, the view is taken that ‘its part of their loan, they have to pay it back, let them have it’ all in all, im in favour of the increase to course related costs. there are parts to the student loan and allowance schemes that make it harder for students like myself to get help, even with the ‘insider’ knowledge of actually working there before.

The idea that many students sit there and use their course related costs for fun times and happiness? that’s always going to happen... but as its part of their loan, and if they fail because they used the money for the wrong purpose? who’s fault is that going to be really?

RedactedG

STUDENT ALLOWANCE

I think a bigger issue than course related costs is the student allowance, and how some students get free money while others do not, based on parents income (which is in most cases irrelevant as I don’t know anyone whose parents are paying towards the degree). I hate how I have to work 20 hours at the supermarket (on top of getting living costs that go on my loan), because Studylink says that my Dad earns enough to support three children under 23 at University. You can imagine how much money he gives us- like everyone else I get zero. Then there are the people who can’t be bothered working because Studylink generously gives them free money (part of my tax from my super-

market job). Then they get to laze around, or if they’re a “good” student then they have the opportunity to spend the time doing extra study for assignments (lucky for some). They can enjoy spending their free money on eating out, movies, alcohol, or whatever else they’re into (because remember they can also get the living costs on their loan). Another friend of mine recently got married, but because she is 22, Studylink still goes on her parents income. I hate the student allowance, the free money should be abolished (that’d surely save the Government millions/billions). Then, in the case where course-related costs or living costs doesn’t add up to enough, and the student can not hold down a job for a valid reason, then they could apply for a student benefit. ENOUGH OF THE FREE MONEY! Thanks for reading my rant, Gen, 3rd Year coms student

HAIRCUT

With every snip of the scissors and the dull thud of the curls hitting the floor, I felt more and more uneasy. Am I doing the right thing? What are people going to think of me? Why do I feel as though I am aborting any sense of power I have?

In the mirror, I can see my Mum sitting and reading New Idea, glancing up occasionally and watching another piece of my scalp’s soul fall to the ground.

She doesn’t realise the shockwaves being emanated from each earth shattering impact with the ground are revealing semi-buried artefacts of self-consciousness.

When the sheep is finally shorn, do they feel a semblance of loss? Do they feel like Samson?

Probably not. Maybe I should just be a sheep Afronyless

EVERY LETTER WINS! All letters receive a prize courtesy of Massive Magazine. This month it’s 250 Gram bag of Peoples’ Coffee. Either come to the mawsa office or email: competitions@ massive.org.nz to collect your prize.

WANTS YOU

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“Exhilarating... lives up to the hype”

25 May -3studentsJun$25

The PlayGround Collective (Wgtn)

THE INTRICATE ART OF ACTUALLY CARING

By Eli Kent downstage.co.nz 04 801 6946

www.massivemagazine.org.nz

05

DEBATE

DEBATE

SHOULD A MORATORIUM BE PLACED ON HYDRAULIC FRACTURING WHILE THE PCE CONDUCTS HER INVESTIGATION INTO THE PRACTICE?

GARETH HUGHES

PEPANZ

Green Party MP

Petroleum Exploration and Production Association of NZ

M

odern life is dependent upon oil and gas - computers, cars, food, heating – life would be very different without it. Renewables are coming, but can’t keep up with world increase in demand for energy. For now oil and gas is the number one energy source.

Natural gas is the cleanest and most efficient hydrocarbon. We are lucky in New Zealand to have enough to fuel our lives and our industries. What’s more, we produce it cleanly and safely.

A well proven technique for producing gas from tight rock reservoirs is hydraulic fracturing. The process pumps 98% water, and 2% sand and household chemicals over a period of 3 hours to create tiny fissures (just 50m long) at an average well depth of 3500m (3.5km deep)below the earth’s surface (that’s 3km deeper, through solid rock, than any fresh water aquifer). The tiny fractures (thinner than a drinking straw, held open by tiny grains of sand) enable a pathway for gas to reach the well bore and up to the surface. It’s a dedicated engineering discipline, performed by people who are equally concerned about protecting our environment for today and the next generation.

Hydraulic fracturing has occurred in natural gas reservoirs in Taranaki since 1993. There have been no incidents of drinking water contamination, land contamination or earthquakes linked to hydraulic fracturing. Our track record alone shows no justification for a moratorium. It seems there are some who see political advantage from scaremongering about an industry and science they do not understand and are philosophically opposed to.

An investigation will correct misinformation about the environmental impacts of hydraulic fracturing, will show the engineering science behind the practice and the incredible commitment from the industry to eliminate risk and ensure the practice is undertaken safely.

New Zealand has very strict regulations and rules around environmental control. New Zealanders should have confidence in our scientists and regulators.

Head of Petroleum Geosciences at GNS Science in New Zealand, Dr Rosemary Quinn, says ground tremors from hydraulic fracturing are smaller than those caused by a truck driving down the road, so are therefore minor compared to natural background levels of seismic activity. Hydraulic fracturing does not cause earthquakes. It takes much more than pumping water down a nine inch well bore to move millions of tonnes of earth and cause an earthquake.

As an industry we have nothing to hide and everything to gain from participating in an open and honest dialogue. Not just about hydraulic fracturing, but also about how the industry employs 7000 people, is our fourth largest export earner and could create so much more energy security and wealth for New Zealand, without compromising our environment.

06

F

rack yeah or frack no? Fracking, the controversial drilling practice for oil and gas, has burst on to the public scene in the past year and now the Parliamentary Commissioner for the Environment has announced an investigation. Hydraulic fracturing, to give it its formal title, involves pumping water, sand, and chemicals at high pressure deep into the ground to extract oil and gas. Given the large number of concerns both in New Zealand and overseas, I believe the responsible thing to do would be to place a moratorium on new wells until the commissioner returns with her findings.

New Zealand is on the cusp of a big expansion of the fracking industry. Permits covering 4.4 million hectares of land have already been approved, with a further three million being considered by the Government. In the past year we have seen a 170 per cent increase in the rate of new wells, compared with the average rate for the previous 18 years.

Energy Minister Phil Heatley has welcomed the investigation and says it will answer some questions. I believe it would make sense to wait for the results of the investigation before allowing new fracking wells to go ahead.

Fracking in New Zealand to date has occurred only in Taranaki, where we have seen well blowouts and water contamination, and consents being breached. And that’s from a comparatively small number of wells drilled over 20 years. The industry’s own reports to the Taranaki Regional Council show we have already seen some of the many potentially harmful effects. The fracking- related earthquakes reported in other countries might not yet have happened in Taranaki, but poor processes, blowouts, and water contamination have.

Of the 10 countries where fracking has taken place, seven have put nationwide or regional bans or moratoriums on the practice.

Only New Zealand, China, and Ireland haven’t. Where fracking is occurring so is damage, and governments and regional authorities around the world are waking up to this.

The New Zealand Government has a responsibility to protect the farmers, communities, and local councils, who all have legitimate concerns. Both the Government and the oil and gas industry acknowledge these concerns. Four local councils have now requested that the Government introduce an immediate moratorium, and at least two community boards have declared their regions frack-free zones.

Both sides of the argument admit more information and research is needed on the New Zealand context of the debate. The oil and gas isn’t going anywhere, so what’s the rush? The Government should wait until the Parliamentary Commissioner for the Environment can assure the public that fracking is safe before allowing a massive expansion to occur.

Claustrophobic in the cosmos? Speed of light slowing you down? Sick of being stuck in the solar system? Mike Ross journeys to the fringes of science in search of some very quick fixes.

FASTER THAN LIGHT ON AN INTER-GALACTIC HIGHWAY

I

n the first issue of MASSIVE, Mike Ross calculated that it is 442 million times more likely that you will win Lotto Powerball than it is that we occupy the only liveable planet in the universe. Though these odds may sound appealing, we’ll have to be quick to purchase our ticket. We’ll have to move faster than light.

The light from our sun takes around about eight minutes to reach Earth.

Unfortunately, the light from Proxima Centauri, our nearest stellar neighbour, takes some four years to get here. This simple reality in itself makes the conclusion all but unavoidable – if man truly wishes to www.massivemagazine.org.nz

breach the confines of our solar system, let alone our galaxy, it is essential we have an ability to travel much faster than our current trajectory of spacecraft development will ever allow for.

Because even if we were to build a ship capable of travelling at the speed of light, an eight-year round trip to the nearest solar system would be a very big ask for even the most dedicated of astronauts, let alone for the first waves of inter-stellar migrants.

Something would need to be very wrong with Earth before such journeys would start to seem an even remotely practical proposition on a large scale. Never mind that we wouldn’t want to move to Proxima

Centauri’s inhospitable system anyway.

No, if inter-stellar travel is ever to become an unexceptional component of the human experience, then clearly travel at speeds beyond that of light is a necessity.

This reality becomes all the more apparent when one considers that even travelling at the speed of light, it would take the crew of a spaceship roughly 4000 generations just to get from one end of our galaxy to the other. There is therefore very little point in man pursuing travel at the speed of light – we need to be setting our sights on going much, much faster!

Super-luminal velocity (or faster than light travel) is considered a major no-no 07

FEATURE

MILITARY VS SPACE SPENDING

$700b $600b

KEY

$500b

- Military budget* - Space budget**

$400b

$300b

$200b

2.6%

$100b

1.3%

0 United States

European Union

1.1% China

4.6% Russia

4.7% Japan

* Military budgets based on figures from the Stockholm International Peace Research Institute. **Space budgets sourced from individual countries’ own budget declarations, with the exception of China who do not offer an overall figure. Their figure is based on Euroconsult estimates. *** All figures are in billions

in traditional conceptions of physics. Then again, some people once believed that if cars travelled faster than 80 miles per hour (128km/h) the occupants would be unable to breathe. Science fiction has regularly used faster-than-light travel as a vehicle, and accordingly it is science fiction that has offered society its popular conceptions of how such travel might come about.

Two of the most widely popularised pathways to super-luminal travel are ‘warp drives’, of the types depicted in Star Trek and Star Wars, and wormholes, like those portrayed in Star Gate and somewhat more convincingly (and menacingly) in Event Horizon. Though neither of these methods is theoretically impossible, there are some significant physical issues that make it highly unlikely that we will ever achieve inter-stellar, let alone inter-galactic, travel with either

+++ WARP DRIVES A warp-drive device creates a space-time bubble around the craft that contains it.

The spaceship is stationary in relation to the space surrounding it in the bubble.

However, to an observer it would appear to be travelling almost incomprehensibly fast.

Using the counter-gravitational properties of negative energy, a warp drive condenses the space-time structure in front of the bubble, essentially bringing its contents closer to their destination. This condensing of space-time at the front of the bubble is matched to a proportionate expansion of space-time to its rear. As is depicted in science fiction, a craft powered by a warp drive would always have to programme-in 08

its course before entering a warp bubble, because there could be no communication from the inner layer to the outer layer of the bubble without breaking the principle of cause and effect – the rule that prevents time travel to the past, and one of the very few ‘rules’ that appears to apply within both General Relativity and Quantum Mechanics.

+++ WORMHOLES Like a warp drive, a wormhole utilises negative energy to abbreviate space-time.

Space-time as we experience it is based around all matter possessing positive energy. It is this positive energy that creates the gravity that gives space-time its curvature. If we were to create enough negative energy we could potentially develop a device that uses repulsive gravitation to ‘fold’ two points in space together. Though, in the strictest sense, travelling through the wormhole would not amount to achieving super-luminal velocity, the result would be the same for practical purposes, as it would allow us to get from point A to point B far more quickly than light travelling a curved path through space would make the same journey.

+++ THE BIG ‘NEGATIVE’ As both wormholes and warp drives are both theoretically possible, the same theories with which their possibility has been proven can also be applied to figuring out the amounts of energy required to achieve either. This is where the big problem with

these ideas becomes very apparent.

Within the observable 4.6% of the universe, there is always slightly more positive energy than there is negative. This is down to phenomenon called quantum interest, in which any negative energy created must always be ‘repaid’ with slightly more positive energy. In practical terms, this means that vast amounts of energy would be required to produce enough of the negative energy upon which both warp drive and wormhole technologies rely.

How vast an amount of energy? To create a one-metre diameter wormhole between Earth and Proxima Centauri would require the total energy produced by 10 billion stars in a year. As for creating a wormhole large enough for The Enterprise to travel through – unfortunately, barring a dark matter surprise, this would require fractionally more energy than exists in the universe. It is therefore highly unlikely that humans or spaceships will ever travel using wormhole or warp-drive technologies.

+++ SO HOW MIGHT WE DO IT THEN? Though two of science fiction’s favourite options might have been eliminated as practical means of inter-galactic transportation, more enthusiastic Star Trek followers may well have noted that teleportation has not yet been discussed.

One reason for this is simply that teleportation of the Star Trek variety is not a super-luminal technology because it breaks down matter into wave forms, the transmission of which cannot exceed the speed of light. This is why Scotty is only able to beam Kirk up while The Enterprise is in near orbit. It does, however, offer a partial principle for the formulation of a practical super-luminal travel plan.

The idea that matter may be broken down, ‘transmitted’, and reassembled somewhere else, could potentially be a key principle in the construction of a technology that could facilitate our species’ expansion outwards into the universe. One possibility as to how such a technology might move into the realm of the super-luminal may lie in a coupling Gunter Nimtz’s contentious conception of quantum tunnelling to Ray Kurzweil’s assessments of the capacities of ‘intelligent’ nanotechnology.

Quantum tunnelling in this context can most easily be described as a phenomenon in which a particle jumps from point A to point B without spending any detectable time in the gap (the quantum tunnel) between the points. The particle still passes through the gap (as in the analogy, the ‘ball’ eventually goes through the ‘wall’),

but rather than being a normal, positively charged particle with mass, while in the tunnel it becomes a virtual particle (or the ball disappears). A virtual particle has been named such on account of it being unobservable while in the tunnel, although we know it was in the tunnel on account of it emerging on the other side.

Within the gap, the virtual particle exists both nowhere and everywhere simultaneously. Nimtz claims that because no time is expended in the gap, a particle

the length of a long highway you will need to stop to refuel. Now imagine that the highway leads to Proxima Centauri and that the service stations are the nano-engineered relay points that the data packet could jump between. The difference between this interstellar highway and the roads of today is that a traveller on the inter-stellar highway would only spend time at the ‘service stations’ with no time elapsing on the road between them. Once such a highway was built, data travelling along it could cover

‘Two of the most widely popularised pathways to super-luminal travel are ‘warp drives’, of the types depicted in Star Trek and Star Wars, and wormholes, like those portrayed in Star Gate and somewhat more convincingly (and menacingly) in Event Horizon’

that passes through the tunnel will get from point A to point B faster than light would cover the same distance. This form of quantum tunnelling exists naturally, and is what, thankfully for life on Earth, allows particles to escape from the gravitation of the sun. At present, the longest man-made quantum tunnels at are only about a metre long, but there is no reason to believe we shouldn’t be able to tunnel further in the future.

In order for quantum tunnels to be of any use to us, we need to be able to make more intelligent use of the matter small enough to pass through them. This is one of the many ways in which the trajectory of our advances in nanotechnologies is very exciting. If, true to Kurzweil’s predictions, we gain the ability to encode ever more data on a sub-atomic level, then the possibility of a form of super-luminal teleportation becomes tantalisingly real.

Star Trek-style teleportation essentially sends the ‘code’ of the traveller in a waveform and then reassembles the person out of matter available at their destination.

As long as carbon is available then we have the initial building blocks required to assemble a human. We just need to master the code. Were we to be able to encode a human into a data package small enough to be transmitted through a quantum tunnel, we would be well on our way to travelling the universe.

The issue that would remain relates to where our quantum data packets would tunnel to. To jump from point A there needs to be a point B. Here the answer could lie in a Kurzweilian assessment of the potential of nanotechnology.

Imagine the relationship between a highway and service stations. To travel www.massivemagazine.org.nz

distances much faster than light, even if it does have to make rest stops.

This still leaves a couple of big questions: how do we put the relay stations in place?

And how could we get them into position faster than light? If we couldn’t answer the second of these we would be looking at least at a 4000-generation build time just to get our highway across our galaxy.

Thankfully, here there are two solutions that spring to mind. The first is a randomised process, in which we encourage groups of ‘intelligent’ particles to jump to wherever they want. When they arrive ‘somewhere’ they assume the form of the relay station they are programmed to be, and transmit their position to us. When we have established a sufficiently large network of relay stations, we can then begin plotting tunnelling paths between them.

approach, wormholes may well prove to be the ‘boring machines’ that allow for the establishment of an inter-galactic quantum tunnel system through which our coded human forms could travel the universe.

+++ MILITARY SPENDING VERSUS SPACE SPENDING Many who oppose investment in space technologies do so out of a well-intentioned belief that it is irresponsible to be spending money on flights of fancy while appalling poverty still exists in many parts of the globe. I certainly wouldn’t suggest that we should cut aid budgets to fund our travel to other worlds. In fact, I’d suggest investment in space can have quite the opposite effect.

Success in space will encourage us to solve the problems on Earth more globally and more equitably. It is not mere coincidence that the decade America went to the moon was also the decade that the civil rights movement demanded that their society’s morality keep pace with its technology. The first trip to the moon might have been ‘a giant leap for mankind’, but in the context of the Cold War, it was an achievement that belonged to America first and humanity second.

Expense should ensure our coming trips to other worlds will ‘belong’ to a broader swathe of humanity, and hopefully all humanity’s sense of fraternity will be as lifted by them as America’s once was.

Where the money could come from is clearly demonstrated below. Today, man’s often amazing achievements in space come against the backdrop of a sad set of priorities. Based on the current rate of space travel technology development at

‘Using the counter-gravitational properties of negative energy, a warp drive condenses the space-time structure in front of the bubble, essentially bringing its contents closer to their destination’

The second approach is far less ‘random’ and allows for the re-admission of wormholes into the discussion. While the energy requirements of wormholes rule them out for human-sized travel, achieving the energy requirements of a one-atom-diameter tunnel would be far more plausible. Were we to use microscopic wormholes to deliver the components of the relay stations into predetermined positions, we could conceivably build our inter-stellar highway very quickly. With this type of

existing levels of investment, if each of the major economic powers were to allocate but 25% of their annual military budgets to space exploration, mankind could very realistically develop the technology required to leave this solar system by the end of this century. Surely this is a more inspirational use of money than blowing one another up.

An inter-galactic nano-highway might well be many centuries of development down the line, but then again, surely the universe is a lottery worth entering!

09

FEATURE

Olivia Marsden and Harriet Lowe talk to four recent graduates about their plans for after university and how they worked out

FINDING YOUR DIRECTION

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hat path do you want to travel as a graduate? Some students suggest post-grad, others long for overseas travel, some already have internships, others are just going with the flow. How should you prepare for leaving the somewhat sheltered world of university? Do you follow clearly marked road signs, use a map, or ask for directions? Or do you take a different route and go off the beaten track. For some, it’s a challenge to decide on a definite career plan, where others have a clear idea of their ‘dream job’. How do you find a balance between focusing on your destination and benefiting from the journey?

+++ 10

MIA MATHESON Mia is a BA graduate in politics and international relations. She points out that while studying she had more than one ‘dream job’ in mind, and it continues to change, even now.

After her graduation in 2011, the climate, as well as the higher standard pay rate, lured her to the Gold Coast. Her career journey into the ‘real world’ began with the realisation of how different life would be without the student allowance to rely on.

“I remember putting all my savings down on a bond for a house and literally living off soup and sleeping with towels as blankets for a few weeks. Not having any idea where your next pay cheque is coming from is both scary and exhilarating.”

She worked hard in a “stinking bar” for a couple of months to pay for food

and rent, until she found her feet in the interviewing process for AIM Publications.

The interviews were a lesson in themselves.

With preparation, prior research, confidence, and a well-earned degree, she got the job and is currently an admin and accounts manager for AIM. Mia says that as she gains experience her ambitions are becoming clearer.

“The more responsibilities I take on fuels my desire to do something creative and, most importantly, something I feel passionate about”.

Hard work and persistence are important, but as she points out: “These days there are more and more graduates looking for jobs, so having a kick ass personality is very essential.

+++

Samantha Reading Samantha recently graduated with a health science degree majoring in sport and exercise. She was realistic about life after university: she anticipated the job application and interviewing process to be gruelling. It was a pleasant surprise, then, to interview for, and win, a job in her desired industry and not simply a job she would settle for.

Ideally, she would like to work in injury and health rehabilitation. She says she was led to believe there would be a wider

is the Catch-22 of job hunting: you need experience to get a job and you need a job to get experience.

+++ DANAE GARDNER Danae stresses the importance of experience and networking. She is a bachelor of communications graduate with a composite major in coms-management, journalism, and a composite minor of media studies and expressive arts.

‘I remember putting all my savings down on a bond for a house and literally living off soup and sleeping with towels as blankets for a few weeks. Not having any idea where your next pay cheque is coming from is both scary and exhilarating.’

range of jobs available for students with her qualifications but unfortunately organisations like ACC do not recognise her as a health professional. As the old saying goes, the road to success is constantly under construction, and she is considering returning to university in the next few years to help her reach her goals.

+++ JOSIE SPRINGFORD Jose left Massey in 2011 with a Bachelor of Communications with a major in marketing communications and a minor in media studies.

She is without doubt an ambitious woman: “I thought I would get a job in a company or agency that I wanted, in either Auckland or Wellington, starting as an account executive doing two years, moving to Australia becoming an account manager, then an account director then have my own company,” she says of her expectations of life after university.

Plans have changed and Josie has moved to Sydney to “chase the dollar”.

She likens earning a degree to getting her restricted licence. She thought she was a terrible driver, but when armed with that yellow plastic card she felt she was the best driver in the world. Sitting her last exam, she felt unprepared for the ‘real world’, but thought that once it was over and she received her graduation certificate, her future would magically fall into place. This hasn’t quite gone to plan.

Josie now works in sales and has learnt that the fundamentals of sales, of talking to people, of building and maintaining contacts, are valuable skills to have. This www.massivemagazine.org.nz

Danae felt her degree alone wasn’t strong enough to open doors into the PR world, so she returned to her studies and now has a masters in management. She says the right extra curricula activities, Massey’s internship paper for communication students, and networking combined to give her the experience to make her career path possible.

Most importantly, she recognises the need for ‘building block’ jobs, where each block is a like paving stone of your career path. She made the most of Massey’s workshops and courses designed to equip students with the skills needed to enter the workforce. Networking has been so

You must network, volunteer, get work experience (even unpaid), talk to people, and keep a contacts list. Network, network, network. Put yourself out there, in front of people who can help you. Easier said than done, right?

The university is here to help students.

They want nothing more than to see their students excel, to provide them with the tools to build their own path. So take advantage of seminars, the knowledge of your lecturers, the contacts of your peers, the internships on offer.

Massey Career and Employment service offers the Externship Programme. This is an opportunity for students to gain experience and to better understand how an organisation works. There is an element of mutual benefit to this programme: students gain invaluable work experience while organisations have opportunities to evaluate students as possible future employees and to make a contribution to their learning. Externships are often only a couple of days in duration and are an opportunity for students to observe and ask questions.

Fitzmaurice stresses the importance of flexibility, adaptability, and seeing opportunities as they come.

It can be a long road to landing your dream job, but a university degree is one step in the right direction. Your time at Massey could change who you are, what your goals are, and what your next step might be. Be aware of the value in your journey – it will help you reach your destination.

But it is important to remember the journey doesn’t end when you leave the

‘Most importantly, she recognises the need for ‘building block’ jobs, where each block is a like paving stone of your career path.

She made the most of Massey’s workshops and courses designed to equip students with the skills needed to enter the workforce.’

successful for her that she is “yet to get a job through a formal application process”. She heavily researches an organisation’s values and if the interview is not successful she always asks for feedback.

+++ SO WHERE TO FROM HERE? Work on your employability” is the advice from Paul Fitzmaurice, career development advisor at Massey Wellington. A degree is only the beginning, he explains. There are so many other components to make yourself as employable as possible.

university halls. There are always going to be new challenges and new experiences.

Our ability to build on these and learn from them strengthens our employability.

After interviewing our recent graduates it became clear there wasn’t a direct route to securing a job, or entering a particular industry. They all experienced a roadblock of some sort. The trick is to treat roadblocks as a temporary diversion – try another route and who knows what you will find.

What would a journey be without a bit of adventure?

11

FEATURE

THE BLUES OF HAVING FUN Krysten McLeod traces the gestation of a good old hometown Kiwi movie and discovers there’s nothing typical or fairytale about it.

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ife at Massey right now is in full swing, with students trying to juggle a busy schedule of classes, heavy assignment loads, perhaps a job or two, and their everimportant social lives. That social life is achieved by many through the popular choice of pushing all those annoying assignments into a dark corner of the bedroom and going out with friends to have fun. Imagine having a terminal illness added to that busy schedule. How much harder would it be to still have fun?

New Zealand writer Steven Gannaway explores this topic in an original way through his novel, which the recently 12

released film The Most Fun You Can Have Dying is based on.

It took a seven-year process for this New Zealand film to finally appear in cinemas around the country. Confirmation to begin shooting it came in November 2010, with locations including Hamilton and parts of Europe such as London, Paris, and Berlin.

This feature debut of writer-director Kirstin Marcon is centered around a young man called Michael (played by Matt Whelan from Go Girls) who is very sick and, after he is told he has only months to live, takes off to travel around Europe. What is most controversial about this is how Michael gets the money to afford his whirlwind trip.

He decides to steal the $200,000 that was raised for him by his small community in Hamilton for his special treatment.

There is no attempt to sugar-coat Michael’s story in any way as he takes us on a hard-hitting ride of sex, drugs, and mayhem. The ride is disrupted, however, when he meets a mysterious French woman called Sylvie (Roxane Mesquida). Though a romantic relationship develops between them, do not expect the film to turn into a typical, fairytale love story. In fact, ‘typical’ and ‘fairytale’ would be two of the last words used to describe this film.

It may come as a surprise to find that the idea for the story originated in a simple New Zealand record store, where Steven Gannaway often let his mind wander during his work shifts. To help distract him from his retail job, he used to often think about escaping from New Zealand with large sums of money. When he saw a story in the news

about a small town raising money so a kid with leukemia could have an operation, he joked to himself how, if the kid had found out how much it was, he might just want to spend it on Lego. This led to him thinking about what he would have spent that money on, and so the story was born.

What resulted was Seraphim Blues, Gannaway’s first novel. Having completed it well before he began his degree at Massey Wellington, he saw it published during 2003, the first year of his study for his fine arts degree.

Seraphim Blues was well reviewed, some describing it as a “thoughtful and irreverent and, at times, hilarious treatment of what is for the most part a serious subject”. The best review, in Gannaway’s opinion, was when Kirstin Marcon and producer Alex Cole-Baker decided they wanted to turn it into a film.

Even though the film is based on his novel, www.massivemagazine.org.nz

his involvement in the film-making process was next to none. He was given each draft of Marcon’s film script and was “welcome to provide them with any feedback but they were under no obligation to use it or anything – it was very much Kirstin’s film”.

But he did have slightly more involvement than that – in one of the scenes he has a small cameo role where he is standing behind at the bar looking grumpy and out of focus, something he laughs about as being “fairly typecast”.

Despite all this, he is obviously quite pleased with the result, describing The Most Fun You Can Have Dying as a “lovely little film”.

Gannaway has come a long way, from the small town of Te Kuiti where he was raised after being born in England. After graduating from Massey with a Bachelor of Fine Arts in 2007, he had no concrete plans about his career. The only plan he did

have was a rather romantic one – to move to Auckland to be with his girlfriend, who he had been in a long-distance relationship with while studying. Now his wife, it was she who told him of the Executive Director position available at the New Zealand Writers Guild, a position he now holds.

It is understandable if this is the first you have heard of the guild. Gannaway himself was not aware of it until the vacancy came up. Five years on and he is fully committed to representing the interests of writers in the fields of film, television, theatre, radio, comics and new media, and running workshops for screenwriters and looking at contracts. He admits that representing screen writers has sparked an interest in writing his own screenplays, although that may not happen for a while because he still enjoys writing novels. He has been working on his second novel, and hopes it will be published early next year.

13

FEATURE

Yasmine Jellyman goes out on the town and finds that students will still pay to binge drink – whatever the cost.

LEGLESS IN NZ

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tudent nights and the weekend, and university students across the country venture forth to their local bottle store or into town to socialise, to take a break from studies and drink, putting that weekly StudyLink allowance to good use. But a study by AUT shows that the idea of students socialising is more about binge drinking, and that they will continue to do this, whatever the price of alcohol.

AUT’s study, the first done in New Zealand, tested how much New Zealand and Australian students were prepared to pay for alcohol. The results showed that 14

students were happy to pay more for the same amount of drinks, and if the new “watering down” practices came into effect, they would buy higher-strength drinks, proving that a higher tax on alcohol won’t be enough to stop binge drinking.

Is this a sign that the drinking in New Zealand is out of control? Is there a problem or is it just media hype? And what is the student drinking culture?

So what is binge drinking? Well, it’s the nickname given to the practice of drinking alcohol with the primary intention of becoming intoxicated by heavy consumption over a short period of time.

It’s a major public health issue.

Andrew Parsons, Associate Professor of Retailing at AUT, says that “in this particular piece of research, the price was increased by as much as 25 per cent, with no significant change,” and that “what we found is that taxation is going to have to be very, very high for it to actually work”.

The excise tax on alcohol rises with inflation every year. Excise is an inland tax on a sale or on specific goods, and is also an indirect tax, meaning the producer or seller who pays it to the government is expected to try to recover it by raising the price paid by the buyer. It is used as a deterrent as well llustrations by Cameron Cornelius

as a means of recovering some of the health consequences of alcohol and tobacco.

And it’s not small; change - alcohol excise poured $699 million into the government’s coffers last year.

Masters business student Nicola Stephenson analysed AUT’s study in her thesis and concluded that alcohol consumption was more to do with social norms than the price of alcohol.

Professor Parsons also says “students believe that it is normal and expected for a student to get - in the words of one of my colleagues - wasted as quickly as possible”, and that unlike anti-smoking campaigns, the Government is sending mixed messages about alcohol that are an “insidious” endorsement of those norms.

A spokeswoman for DB Brewery says the company has not noticed any changes in alcohol-buying behaviour since the previous tax increases (in July 2011), and is not expecting to see any after the latest rise.

Retailers Association Chief Executive John Albertson says each shopping chain will have its own policy to determine how much of the tax is absorbed and how much is passed to consumers, but the question of price and consumption is interesting, especially going by historical data.

“When you look at the per capita consumption of available alcohol in New Zealand, it hasn’t really changed in the last 20 years,” he says. “One would have to suggest that price sensitivity isn’t great.”

The news of the New Zealand-specific research is welcomed by Alcohol Advisory Council Chief Executive Gerard Vaughan.

He says international studies tell a different story about price sensitivity.

“The average finding is that there is a relationship, and it is in the direction that the more expensive alcohol is, it will impact on consumer behaviour.”

He says he wants “robust discussion” around the emerging idea of minimum drink pricing. That would force retailers to charge a minimum amount per standard drink, creating a solid bottom threshold for price-cutting and loss leaders.

However, over the past 20 years, alcohol has become more affordable overall while the full cost of increases in excise tax has not always been passed on to consumers, instead being partially absorbed by producers, retailers, and the hospitality industry. ALAC supports looking at a minimum price as a mechanism for increasing the retail price of really cheap alcohol.

Asked about the harm suffered by university students, Dr Hearn says that as a population group, tertiary students are identified as high-risk drinkers. www.massivemagazine.org.nz

“They are shown to drink more harmfully, and to exhibit more clinically significant alcohol-related problems than their nonstudent peers.

“The consequences of such drinking behaviour can include the failure to achieve academic expectations as well as injury, alcohol poisoning, violence, unplanned pregnancies, and unplanned sex. Other students, communities, and universities pick up a significant part of the tab as a result of the second-hand effects of student drinking, including vandalism, disruption of study, and loss of reputations.”

CONSUMER NEW ZEALAND RELEASED FIGURES REGARDING THE “TIPPLE TAX” • Beer: a 330ml beer is approximately $1.33 with an alcohol percentage of 5%. The excise tax is $27.20 per litre of alcohol with the excise per standard drink being 34c.

• RTDs: a 250ml bottle is approximately $1.66 with an alcohol percentage of 8%. The excise tax is $2.18 per litre of alcohol with the excise per standard drink being 26c.

• Wine: a 750ml bottle is approximately $9.99 with an alcohol percentage of 12%. The excise tax on this is $2.72 per litre of alcohol with the excise per standard drink being 29c.

• Spirits: a 1000ml bottle is approximately $27.99 with an alcohol percentage of 40%. The excise tax on this is $49.55 per litre of alcohol with the excise per standard drink of 62c.

+++ WHAT DOES THIS ALL MEAN FOR THE everyday New Zealander? It is much the point of stating the obvious. We will be paying more for any kind of alcohol.

Of course, all of this has no wider context until you go to the students themselves.

Talking to Massey students gives a great look into the student drinking culture and the culture of New Zealand drinking as a whole, and their view on the booze tax.

+++ MASSIVE SAT DOWN WITH SECOND -year Communication students Rachael Coomber, Chelsea McLaughlin, and Emma Ward to discuss their views on these very topical issues.

MASSIVE: Do you think binge drinking is a problem in New Zealand? Why/why

not? Is it all media hype? Is drinking just a part of student culture?

Rachael Coomber: No, binge drinking is not a problem. Everyone drinks. It’s not a problem if everyone is doing it. Yeah, the media do over-hype, like with the ads “don’t bring your mates”, you wouldn’t hang out with them if they are like that drunk. The media make a big deal about it and target young people, not people, for example, who are in their 30s or 40s with real alcohol problems.

Chelsea McLaughlin: No, it’s not a problem, because people don’t go out to binge, they go out to socialise and it’s those few that give us all a bad rep. And it’s really awkward when you see 30-year-olds in town who I think do have a problem. Yes, the media make it out to be the worst thing in the world.

Emma Ward: Yes, binge drinking is a problem because people are irresponsible at times and don’t take into account their own actions and safety. But if they are in a safe environment then it’s not really a problem.

The media does over-hype drinking and exaggerate the issue but it’s not part of the student culture.

M: How would you describe your drinking habits in the average week?

Coomber: Above average [laughs]. I love to drink.

McLaughlin: More social drinking than anything else.

Ward: I drink to socialise but I don’t binge intentionally.

M: Have you ever participated in binge drinking activities? How often?

Coomber: Binge drinking has never been defined, like what exactly is it? I’d say I’m a summer binge drinker.

McLaughlin: Assignments and weather does stop me from going out, but in the holidays I like to go out and drink.

Ward: No. M: Will increasing prices deter you from purchasing alcohol?

Coomber: No, because I’m still going to buy it, I just won’t be happy about it.

McLaughlin: No, because I usually go to the supermarket and buy the sale wines.

Ward: No, because a small price increase won’t change anything, they aren’t thinking about the bigger picture.

M: What measures, if any, would deter you from purchasing alcohol?

Coomber: If my living costs got cut! I have to budget in my goon! [laughs]. Also if they were ridiculous in increasing the price of alcohol. If Cruisers went to 40 bucks like, no, and what would the 14-year-olds drink? That’s like a month of pocket money! [laughs] Maybe the government should look into under-age binge drinking.

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FEATURE

McLaughlin: Excessive pricing.

Ward: If it was excessively overpriced.

M: Do you have any other opinions on the issue?

Coomber: Binge drink and driving is covered a lot in the media and, like, it’s a separate issue. If you are drinking, get a sober driver or get a taxi or walk – and now it’s like, oh just don’t drink at all, but it’s part of our social student drinking culture.

I think that government money should be spent on drug testing people on the dole.

McLaughlin: It’s stupid and pointless and money could be spent elsewhere with more important issue such as student loans and creating jobs.

Ward: Ignoring the whole issue and the underlying factors causes people to binge.

If it wasn’t cool and fun any more, then people would be more likely to not binge drink rather than just the prices going up.

+++ 16

MASSIVE ALSO SPOKE TO SECOND -year nursing student Shelley Skinner, who gave a great insight of this issue from a nursing student’s point of view and how binge drinking affects both students and health services.

MASSIVE: Do you think that binge drinking is a problem in New Zealand?

Why/why not? Is it all media hype? Is drinking just a part of student culture?

Shelley Skinner: From a health perspective, yes. There are a number of incidents in emergency departments, as shown on things like 20/20 last year, saying the amount of binge drinkers needing the health services was way too much. Drinking is definitely a part of student culture but I don’t think that binge drinking … like the media do hype it up … but I don’t think it’s entirely the media blowing it out of proportion because a lot of injuries do happen as a result of binge drinking, just people being stupid.

M: How would you describe your drinking habits in the average week?

Skinner: I probably don’t drink as much as what other people would. Like maybe Saturday night I might have a couple with my partner and his family – just social drinking, really.

M: Have you ever participated in bingedrinking activities? How often?

Skinner: Yeah I have, but not that often. I do like to monitor what I drink. I have other commitments, like uni and work, and with my work I can’t have alcohol in my system.

Skinner:Will increasing prices deter you from purchasing alcohol?

Skinner: No, but I never buy enough to really warrant it from being expensive.

M: What measures, if any would deter you from purchasing alcohol?

Skinner: My income. Not getting a student allowance makes me very dependent on my work hours, and also the cost of transport makes purchasing alcohol llustrations by Cameron Cornelius

not very high on the priorities list.

M: Do you have any other opinions on the issue?

Skinner: I think it’s just mainly binge drinking is a problem when people are drinking to such an excess where their judgment is impaired and they are beginning to hurt themselves and other people. It’s not fair on other people surrounding them and it’s also not fair on healthcare services. It is ridiculous the amount of alcohol-related problems that go through emergency departments.

It should be services offered to other accidents. It’s taking away from people that actually need it. These people are putting themselves into a position where they are hurting themselves, shouldn’t really be helping them. So this tax, it won’t impact the student drinking culture as much and as quickly as the government would like, but it would be a start to slowing it down.

Students I think definitely prioritise social drinking instead of actually going out and being social [laughs]. It’s definitely part of student culture.

+++ MASSIVE TOOK THESE QUESTIONS to second-year Communications student Claydan Krivan-Mutu. He gave a great analysis on the issue MASSIVE: Do you think that binge drinking is a problem in New Zealand?

Why/why not? Is it all media hype? Is drinking just a part of student culture?

Claydan Krivan-Mutu: Yes, binge drinking is a huge problem in New Zealand, and is very prevalent in the teen-young adult generation. I think we as this ‘new generation’ see alcohol as something that is going to run out, therefore we make the most of it. It is a problem because we don’t realise that it is slowly killing us - probably

in their times. And times have definitely changed. However, they do have a point when saying that binge drinking has got out of hand. I just think they are approaching it wrong. Yes, drinking is a part of the student culture, one cannot deny this. Students are faced with social peer pressure to drink, but not to just have a couple of beers, but

“There is definitely a problem, but there is not much anyone can do about it. It is just going to keep being passed down from one generation to the other. However, it’ll just get more intense as every year passes. More and more kiddies are getting drunk at an earlier age.” to have a whole bottle of wine and a couple of jagerbombs.

M: How would you describe your drinking habits in the average week?

Krivan-Mutu: Because I live with two bartenders, two students, and know a girl called Ruth Chan, I would probably say I am out every weekend. However, sometimes I drink heaps, and end up dying, or drink a little, and bugger off home early in the night. I have alcohol intolerance syndrome, so I can drink very little and get fucking smashed. I would say a six-pack of beer will keep me happy all night. Add on another jug, and maybe a bourbon and coke, or a vodka lemonade and I will be a different person.

M: Have you ever participated in binge drinking activities? How often?

Krivan-Mutu: By binge drinking you mean drinking more than six drinks in one sitting? Yes. This would happen any weekend that I decide to drink. You cannot just have one beer and go out – there’s just too much social pressure. You have to drink to get fucked, not drink for the pleasure of drinking.

“Sometimes I drink heaps, and end up dying, or drink a little, and bugger off home early in the night. I have alcohol intolerance syndrome, so I can drink very little and get fucking smashed.” doing us more harm than smoking, but it also is the cause of all sorts of domestics in the weekend – violence between mates and randoms, and it puts females (and males) in danger of being sexually assaulted. I think the media do blow it up, partly because they are old and they see kids having shots, drinking till they spew, and see that as something that was socially not acceptable www.massivemagazine.org.nz

Krivan-Mutu: Overly expensive. If that happens, I think the student population will get into home brewing and will soak white bread in turps and eat the bread.

But nothing will really deter anyone from purchasing alcohol, unless they make it illegal, or increase the age or do something gay like that.

M: Will increasing prices deter you from purchasing alcohol?

Krivan-Mutu: No. That’s what StudyLink is for. That’s what John Key doesn’t realise – students really don’t care how much it costs, just as long as they can get drunk off it. Fast.

M: What measures, if any would deter you from purchasing alcohol?

M: Do you have any other opinions on the issue?

Krivan-Mutu: There is definitely a problem, but there is not much anyone can do about it. It is just going to keep being passed down from one generation to the other. However, it’ll just get more intense as every year passes. More and more kiddies are getting drunk at an earlier age. They’ll get resilient, and will need more alcohol, which the government should be happy about – they get a shit load of tax from alcohol sales.

+++ IT’S CLEAR FROM TALKING TO MASSEY students that the common thought is that, yes, there is a drinking problem in New Zealand, but raising the price is not going to make much of a difference. Students will still drink the same and will pay the prices for alcohol because it is part of student culture and it is a way to socialise.

Is drinking in New Zealand is out of control? It is getting to the stage where drinking is getting out of control, but many think that putting booze tax up again is not going to change anything. Only time will tell.

The drinking issues in New Zealand are not just media hype, but the media, as many have pointed out, do over-exaggerate the issue and lay blame, and based everything about it on just young people when it is all aged people.

The drinking culture with New Zealand students is that it is a social thing but there is also the issue of social peer pressure to get extremely drunk. AUT’s study does have its flaws but there are some truths in it.

Students will still buy alcohol, no matter the cost. It’s in our culture, it always has been, and will surely be in the future.

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FEATURE

Pretty Boy David Dunn puts himself in harm’s way to suss out the world of arm drags, chain wrestling, and sit-out spine-busters

EXPOSED: THE DARK ARTS OF PRO-WRESTLING

I

’m slightly nervous as I get off the train at the Ava Railway Station. It’s 6.23pm on a Thursday, but unlike most of my fellow commuters I’m not heading home. Instead, I’m off to the He Toa Combat Zone for some pro-wrestling training.

New Zealand has a surprisingly rich history of professional wrestling, if you look into it. Lofty Blomfield, the only wrestler to 18

be inducted into the New Zealand Sports Hall of Fame, popularised wrestling in the 1930s, 40s and 50s.

Steve Rickard’s On The Mat television show propelled wrestling to arguably its most popular stage in the 70s and 80s.

Men like The Bushwhackers and John Da Silva became household names, along with international stars like Harley Race and “Nature Boy” Ric Flair, who both

defended the NWA World Heavyweight Championship – perhaps the most prestigious title in the world at that time – on our shores.

Today, New Zealand is home to four wrestling promotions: Impact Pro Wrestling (IPW) in Auckland, the group behind Maori TV’s Mana Mamau; Kiwi Pro Wrestling (KPW) in Wellington, run by former NWA star Rip Morgan; Southern Championship Photographs by Dayma Otene

Wrestling (SCW) in Blenheim, the South Island’s only wrestling group; and New Zealand Wide Pro Wrestling (NZWPW) in Petone, who’ll be training me this evening.

I’ve followed NZWPW for years, attending its shows all over the country since it was formed in 2003, but always from the safety of the crowd. Tonight, though, I’m getting my first chance to step into the ring.

+++ WHEN I ARRIVE AT THE HE TOA Combat Zone, I meet Sarah Lacey, a 19-yearold Bachelor of Nursing student at Massey.

Sarah began wrestling last year, after she moved to Wellington for university, and has had four matches.

that again. I’m beginning to see the benefit of having a nurse around.

Sarah says I’ve come to a fairly typical training session.

“We start with forward rolls, backwards rolls, break-falls, handstand break-falls, and then we go through arm-drags and chain wrestling – just to get us into the mood of wrestling, as a warm-up. Then we sometimes learn a new thing or practice things that we really need to practice, like arm-drags – we weren’t very good at those.

But I think we’ve got it now, we’ve got the hang of arm-drags.”

Soon enough it’s my turn to try an armdrag along with the other trainees. Sarah grabs hold of my left arm and suddenly drops to the mat, taking me with her. Here’s

There’s no conflict of interest between being a wrestler and being a nurse, Sarah tells me, despite one tending to harm people while the other heals. “It keeps me in a job,” she jokes.

There’s no conflict of interest between being a wrestler and being a nurse, Sarah tells me, despite one tending to harm people while the other heals. “It keeps me in a job,” she jokes.

Of course, the goal of pro-wrestling is only to make it look like you have hurt your opponent without really doing so, something that makes it more difficult than true combat sports like boxing or mixed martial arts, Sarah says.

“Wrestling might even be a little bit harder [than other sports] in terms of not actually hurting and making it look like it’s hurting, rather than just hurting someone. You’ve got two sides going on – you’re worried about yourself and the other person, not just yourself.”

Sarah runs me through the basics: forward rolls, backward rolls, break-falls, and then handstand break-falls for the more advanced. Wrestling’s not just about how to hit, but how to get hit. Not just how to throw, but how to fall.

After a few break-falls on to a stack of mats, I can see the importance of getting the basics down. The idea is to land on your shoulder-blades, with your arms spread at a 45-degree angle to create the biggest possible surface area and minimise the impact on any individual part of the body.

It takes only a couple of times coming down on your lower back, or closer to your neck than you should, to learn not to land like www.massivemagazine.org.nz

where the forward rolls come in. Either roll through or you’re getting driven on to your head.

With a very limited knowledge of the basics under my belt, Sarah passes me off to some of NZWPW’s more experienced wrestlers.

In the ring I find myself face-to-face with

Taylor Adams, who lifts me into position for his signature “Double A” sit-out spinebuster, modeled after that of WWE Hall of Famer Arn Anderson. Jakob Cross makes me tap out – or give up, if you’re not familiar with wrestling terminology – to a Boston crab submission hold. NZWPW Tag Team Champion Johnny Idol powers me up for his gut-buster finisher with such ease it’s scary. Then Osiris chokes me with a steel chain.

It’s exciting stuff to watch on TV or from the safety of the crowd, but after experiencing it first-hand in the ring, I’m starting to wonder what sort of people would voluntarily do this to themselves.

+++ SARAH TELLS ME WRESTLING IS A good way for her to relieve stress after a hard day of studying.“When I’m at wrestling I’m focused on wrestling, when I’m at nursing I’m focused on nursing, so it’s a good way to take a break.

“I’m not really into going out to town and drinking with friends and stuff, so if I come here [to wrestling training], I can meet people who like things a little bit different, and make friends with them, and it gets me out of my shell and helps me be more confident. And it’s a really good way to stay in shape.”

Johnny Idol, 19, is a fulltime wrestler. It’s all he’s ever wanted to do, and he hopes to make it to the United States to train with former world tag team champions Team 3D, aka The Dudley Boyz, in the near future.

19

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Jakob Cross, 25, also wrestles fulltime.

“It’s all I ever think about,” he says. “I love pro-wrestling because I can’t sing and I can’t dance and it lets me beat people up.”

Scarlett is a 30-something mother of two who was inspired to join NZWPW when she moved to Wellington following the Christchurch earthquake.

As well as conquering basic training and being able to safely execute a handful of moves, a big part of professional wrestling is developing a character, or gimmick, to really connect with the fans.

For Sarah, developing a character was one of the hardest parts of wrestling to master.

“I was told that the best thing to do was to be myself, but times a hundred,” she says.

“At the time – and still now – I ate a lot of candy, so I knew that I had a character, but couldn’t find a name that adult film stars hadn’t already used. Playing around with words for a month I finally settled for Lolli Lane.

“Coming up with moves is a bit easier, although I’ve only come up with a few that I want to stick with. Some of their names don’t really sound like moves Lolli would do, though, so I renamed 20

them after sweet things that I like. The “Surfboard” is my favourite, and is where I stretch them [her opponent] out to where they’re at the point of snapping, so I renamed that the “Brandy Snap”.

+++ BEN THORPE IS A 28-YEAR-OLD corrections officer at Rimutaka Prison by day, “which is good because, when I have to, I get to wrestle prisoners when they decide to be eggs,” he says.

Thorpe has based his wrestling persona of Ben Mana on former WWE Superstar Umaga, who died in 2009, but with a Maori influence to honour Thorpe’s heritage.

“Basically, my wrestling persona is just like a tribute to him really, and just representing Maori as best as possible.”

Thorpe uses the “Maori Spike”, a taped thumb to the throat, to vanquish his opponents, along with the “Mana Slam” and the “Ankle Lock”.

In his five years with NZWPW, Ben Mana is a former NZWPW Tag Team Champion and He Toa Cup holder. He is also the No 1 contender to the NZWPW Heavyweight Championship, the most coveted title in

the promotion, and will challenge reigning champion D-Hoya for the title later this year.

Thorpe was inspired to get involved with wrestling after watching his best friend become the NZWPW Champion in 2006.

“Just at that moment I realised I wanted to give this a go and maybe one day follow in his footsteps”. Five years on, he feels the same about wrestling as he did on the day he first started.

“I just wanna do it for as long as I possibly can and in the process be a good mentor for all the young ones coming up and build up New Zealand professional wrestling as it should be and make it mainstream.”

Both Lolli Lane and Ben Mana will be in action at NZWPW’s next show, Newtown Knockout. I’ll definitely be there to watch all the action unfold, too, but after having had a taste of what it’s like to be in the ring, I think I’ll be content to watch this one from the crowd.

• The Newtown Knockout will be held at Saint Anne’s Hall on Emmett St, Newtown, on Saturday May 26. Visit NZWPW.co.nz for more information, including scheduled matches and how to get tickets.

Photographs by Dayma Otene

What is home, and where can one be found?

Steph Collins goes in search of what home is, and means.

I

stayed at Mum’s house in Blenheim for five nights about a month ago. I hadn’t been home for eight months and wanted to catch up with the family. As I crossed the mown lawn with a sleeping bag and backpack and walked under the hedge of purple flowers, I heard the small bells around my wrist ringing. I felt like a traveller arriving at a place I’d visited in my dreams.

My step-dad, Si, was cutting wood out back. He briefly hugged me. “Steph, how www.massivemagazine.org.nz

are ya? You’re lookin’ skinny” he said gruffly. I was quite shocked so I answered with a slight frown. I remember thinking he needed to cut his hair and beard; he looked like Gandalf from The Lord of the Rings.

It smelt like home, but looked smaller and somewhat stuffy. There were pillows strewn across the deck, and the lawnmower was jammed by the front door so I had to squeeze past it to get in.

After three days of watching TV and eating lots I began to see some other

HUNTING HOME changes. My 13-year-old sister was wearing makeup and talking about losing weight.

As she was weighing herself one sunny afternoon she said to me, “All the girls at school are tiny! I just want to lose a little bit. I’m 50 kg, what are you?” I knew that teenagers got insecurities, but it made me feel like a stranger in a familiar house.

It also baffled me how Si had said I looked skinny when his own daughter was running around the house talking about the stickskinny celebs and how the Ab-King Pro (an 21

FEATURE exercise machine that works the stomach) had been made illegal.

It was a circus show. I felt like they all saw each other so much that they didn’t actually see each other anymore. Perhaps they become so used to each other that these things were now the norm. I took it upon myself to eat as much as I could and try to change my sister’s attitude. I told her ‘trampolining’ was a new thing in Wellington and everyone was doing it. The trick is to bounce as high as you can for as long as you can while singing at the top of your lungs. I was conducting her tramolining lessons one sunny Blenheim morning and I saw Mum looking through the window with a little smile from the kitchen.

+++ I REMEMBER WHEN I WAS YOUNGER wearing Mum’s red toeless heels. They were red and they reminded me of the older ladies on TV. My friend Leonie and I would parade around the house in Wales, clomping against the wooden floor. I remember one time I was wearing Mum’s long white summer dress and heels, it was winter and Christmas was a month away. Si was cleaning the house furiously. He hadn’t sat down all morning, he kept telling us not to make a mess because there was a surprise on the way. At the time I was thinking this meant candy, but when he went outside with a large shovel I became really curious.

He shovelled the thick bandages of snow from the path to the road. Leonie and I climbed up to sit on the couch to watch him out of the window. He came back and started pacing the house. The open fire was warming more than just our skin that night, and the smell of oranges and incense danced in the air. The house felt too quiet.

in the doorway as Si went to get her. The thought of that image of us still makes me laugh. I remember looking again carefully.

Mum was carrying a small ball of blankets.

My little sister had arrived.

At the time didn’t realise it, but Leonie was like a stand-in-sister for me. She was always at my house or I was at hers, and I now know that she was like a sister

‘The open fire was warming more than just our skin that night, and the smell of oranges and incense danced in the air. The house felt too quiet. I kept expecting lots of people to turn up. ‘ because I didn’t always get along with her; we bickered and teased each other just like siblings do.

When my sister arrived all I wanted to do was play with her, I remember sending Leonie home a few times because I just wanted it to be me and my sister, Eva. I feel bad looking back now because I didn’t realise how lonely Leonie had been. She had three older sisters who had all left home and there weren’t many girls in the village.

+++ THIS WAS IN WALES WHERE I LIVED for 10 years and where ice and snow mix for months on end. I remember the cold so clearly, waiting in line for the old school bus and not being able to feel my toes. The small Welsh village where I grew up was made up of a small block of flats, a church with gargoyles in front. I would walk on the other side of the road when approaching the church because it looked haunted. There

‘At the time didn’t realise it, but Leonie was like a stand-in-sister for me. She was always at my house or I was at hers, and I now know that she was like a sister because I didn’t always get along with her; we bickered and teased each other just like siblings do.’

I kept expecting lots of people to turn up.

Leonie thought we had a hippy house, I thought it was the way a house should be; warm, wooden and always a little messy.

We followed Si as he went to open the front door and felt the cold rush of air as it opened. A white taxi pulled up by the path he had shovelled and Mum came out slowly.

We hadn’t seen her for a week and I wanted to run out but it was cold and my heels kept falling off. Leo and I bounced up and down 22

opening my eyes underwater and seeing the tall silhouettes of the boys. They looked like walking shadows. Next thing I know I’m walking home crying, barely able to gasp for air and cursing their thin heatless shadows.

As soon as I got home and saw Mum I felt better. She got a towel and hugged me tight.

“It’s because there aren’t many girls in the village, love – the boys get nervous and

was also a dairy where we could buy a bag of sweets for 20p and ‘The Square’ where we got picked up for school.

There was a stream in the square that I got pushed into by a tall boy named Michael when we were waiting for the school bus. I remember falling in. I always thought it wasn’t a deep stream but when I got pushed in my whole body went under. I remember the icy water hitting my body like millions of small thorns. I couldn’t breathe. I remember

do strange things”, I remember her saying.

It made me feel better, but I went through a stage of just wanting to stay at home all of the time.

We went on many walks around Wales.

I remember the snap of branches as we entered the dense bluebell woods all those years ago. The smell is still printed in my memory. It was very early spring when we went, and as we would draw near the carpet of bluebells the faint smell of honey mixed with the gum sap of the trees reached my nostrils.

I was probably around 7 or 8 when we would go on adventures. Mum packed lunch and put it in a large straw basket, and Dad walked beside me and told me stories.

Mum’s hippy friends’ joined us sometimes too. At the time, Dad was reading me The Hobbit before I went to bed, so when we went go to the woods I felt like a hobbit searching for gold. I thought the trips to the woods were for me because they just wanted to spend time with me, and I loved it. Bluebell woods look really dense and full of flowers, but when you are walking through them you see that the flowers are all quite separate from each other. I would search between the gaps of purple to see if there was any hidden gold.

I remember one occasion when I woke up alone on the edge of the blanket, the soft flowers tickling my legs. My heart sank as I looked up through the spindly trees at the cloudy sky. I got up and started walking, calling out but no reply. I sat down and started crying. I cried for my parents, and for the loneliness of the woods which I thought I loved. Minutes later and Mum was running towards me. She said that they weren’t too far away and slowly calmed me down. I remember this clearly because the trips were never quite the same after this.

As time went on I realised that they were actually looking for magic mushrooms and llustrations by Nick Watson

that they weren’t there just for me. But I never said anything to them and I never looked at the gaps between the flowers in the same way; they were cold and bare and I noticed that not all the bluebells looked the same – some were slightly brown and some were brighter.

+++ I ARRIVED HOME FROM WORK, TOOK my soggy coat off and discarded my spotty umbrella. No one home. I shook off the silence and turned the heater and TV on loud. You arrived home in your ironed white shirt. I like how your curls always make you look slightly dishevelled even though you try so hard to look tidy. You looked at me with no expression. I searched for something in your face and you seemed to soften to my searching. You came over and hugged me tight. I felt at home, home within a person.

But home should be something stable that is always the same, right? At this thought I pulled away and started to make dinner. www.massivemagazine.org.nz

The night after, I was feeling rather fierce after a long day in a shitty café with drugaddicted bosses who don’t care how hard you work for their addictions. I showered the coffee grains and pesto splatters off my hands and arms, washed my face and tried to wake up. Heels. That’s what will make me feel like a more substantial person. I wore them because we were all dressing up fancy for a dinner. They’re beautiful heels, suede with thin points. I wobbled my way into town, pretending to be a woman, but I could not convince myself. I remembered wearing my Mum’s shoes all those years ago and felt very young and uncoordinated while walking down the hill into town.

As we got to the restaurant I became aware that my feet were throbbing. I took them off and threw them in the corner. You gave me a funny little smile as if to say ‘I knew it.’ I noticed that you smiled with your eyes, your lips stayed the same but your eyes seemed to lift and race around my face.

I watched my friends all pile into the small restaurant and felt the café leave my body

and mind. With each sip of wine I realised for the first time that I do get stressed. I had never known stress or even seen it because my parents were always very chilled out. I thought about my parents while my friend was talking about her boyfriend. They seemed to live in a little bubble that was not in the real world, and that pissed me off because they gave me a false view on the world.

+++ THIS MORNING I WOKE UP TO YOUR snoring. I felt myself go hot with anger, that feeling when you feel the blood rush to your fingertips. I even had ear plugs in that I had bought from New World. They are green and purple and usually drown out the nasal sound of your narrowed airways, but this morning they did nothing. Isn’t it funny that you can get so wild at someone for something they are not even doing on purpose? However, at the same time I lay there and listened for a few minutes. It was 23

FEATURE

a calming noise, and although I would never admit it, it makes me feel like everything is okay. It makes me feel that I’m in a familiar place, with familiar sounds.

I remember maybe a month ago I asked you what you love about me. I don’t even know why I asked, I think I was half playing around and half curious. So when you answered, “Well you are an impatient person … this is a good and a bad thing”, I was upset. Have we resorted to this? Me pulling at your mind, and you hugging me with seatbelt arms, not noticing who is in them but not wanting to let go. You are always the same, never changing, sometimes so solid that I over-analyse and look for cracks in your smooth exterior.

I go to the yoga centre every week for some relaxation and exercise. The next time I go the teacher told us to think about a comfort place, a place that is beautiful only to you and where you feel safe and calm. I thought of Mum’s house – that didn’t work.

I then thought of the bluebell woods in Wales. I stopped at this thought, took a walk around it, and then decided to move on. A 24

swimming thought reached my conscious. It was you again. I tried to think why I rely on you so much and why I need you. I thought it is because when everything else in my life is a mess – the flat, our lazy flat mates, too much work and not enough money – you are always solid. Maybe you are the only solid thing in my life. We have moved so much and plans are always changing, but you stay the same. I don’t think I’ve ever wanted something permanent and solid until now. I feel like I’ve always abandoned it and moved on to the next new thing. The yoga teacher told us to try to remember this feeling and keep it somewhere within us for when we needed it.

+++ Home The place in which one’s domestic affections are centered.

The place or region where something is native or most common.

IN THE DICTIONARY, HOME IS something well known and familiar, where affections are created, but I think this could come in different forms. Many things are familiar to me. My boyfriend’s hands, dark eyes, and the funny dance he does when he is DJ-ing. I see this everyday so this must be a form of home. Or perhaps home is never a fixed thing. Maybe home could be in those pretty yellow flowers that I pass on my way to uni. Or maybe the smile from that longhaired stranger with small reading glasses who I notice every day. You know, those people that are always in your day but you don’t know them? I wonder if he saw you smile back. The moment passes quickly, so quickly it feels familiar, and if that moment were to last longer it would not be home, it would be foreign and uncommon.

I know that in myself I want to test these boundaries, test what feels comfortable.

Perhaps next time he walks past I should hold the gaze and maybe he will know I’m thinking. This is new, this is different, this is what I want.

The truth is, home scares me. I try not to llustrations by Nick Watson

need it too much. I do things like I turn the TV on loud and try to ignore the silence, or play the whole Fleetwood Mac album, the original Fleetwood Mac with Peter Green.

Ironically, the songs, Coming home and Love that burns are my comfort songs.

I drown the silence with the blues, the harmonica is like familiar seatbelt arms and the voice sings words that I cannot say. I’m not sure if that silence is home or not, but I don’t like it. It’s too still, too normal, and I run from it. I run by trapping it in sound, drinking it away, or kissing it goodbye.

Since we moved from Wales so many years ago I have moved nine times in total – nine times, nine lives.

The other day my friend from Ukraine, Marsha, asked me a question. “Where is home for you, Steph?” It was a simple question. She inhaled her cigarette and looked up as she asked. I sat there for a few minutes thinking hard for an answer.

Marsha sat there in her bright sunflower yellow dress twirling her coarse curly mullet. She seemed intrigued, but sad at the same time. I realised that I am a lone drifter. Marsha had spent half her life in the Ukraine and half in New Zealand and neither of us had national pride in us. Both of us are adrift between two countries and both wanting something to hold on to, both wanting to belong.

When I got home that night I lay on the top of my blankets feeling restless. I felt like home was drifting away, not that I could claim I ever had one. I couldn’t sleep that night, I felt the time passing by like a hand waving on train that I wanted be on.

I became curious to see if I was the only person hunting the meaning of home so I decided to ask others what home meant to them. The first person I asked was a boy in town, he was high and drunk and I wasn’t

phrase ‘coming home’. So much of my time is spent in travel, in airports, or on trains, or living in different countries. I say it not in bragging but in honesty.”

He looked down at his guitar for a second then went on to say, “My birthplace exists more as a memory to me now, and it is affected by all the usual dream-like associations of imaginations, fears, and ideas. Still, its presence is as real to me as any comfort”.

‘It’s because there aren’t many girls in the village, love – the boys get nervous and do strange things”, I remember her saying. It made me feel better, but I went through a stage of just wanting to stay at home all of the time.’

On a white t-shirt, my friend Debbie occasionally wears, it says, “Along the way from home, stop where you find yourself.” I asked her about home. “I like to fall asleep to the noise of my flatties and wake up to it; I would never live with less than six people.”

I met Emma and Jeremy on Cuba Street.

“Home is a place of safety”, Emma said as she was hugged by Jeremy.

A few weeks ago I was hanging out with my flatmate Melz and as I asked her about home, I realised that she hardly ever spoke about home and I was surprised by her answer. “Home is about people. You can just meet people and they can create that home feeling within an hour. My parents have never moved, so home is and always has been the same. That is the home that created me, and I created my own home now. But now smells like Mum cooking roast mutton, my brother’s room smelling like tomato sauce, and Dad’s shed will

‘You looked at me with no expression. I searched for something in your face and you seemed to soften to my searching. You came over and hugged me tight. I felt at home, home within a person.’ expecting a deep and meaningful answer, he simply said, “Home is where Mum is.”

He said this as he looked right at me; no shyness or shuffling, and that is all he said.

I thought it very strange that such a punky boy could be so sentimental with a stranger.

That night I stumbled upon a little gem of a singer. He sang with his eyes closed and then we talked. He said, “Home is a very mercurial thing – for my life, though, the word has never been parted from the www.massivemagazine.org.nz

has changed. Maybe it is just this week in particular that I’m feeling stressed, I’m not sure. I do know though that in the future I’d like to buy a van and go travelling.”

I feel like my sense of home is in smells which follow me and things that always linger, like a shadow I cannot see. I like all my comfort places in different ways, but home has become such a spread-out idea that it isn’t strong anywhere any more, and I think I’m okay with that. Moving

always be with me. They were not pleasant smells, but I like them.”

I asked my aunty Wendy in the UK, and she has different thoughts about home. “Home is somewhere for the kids, sometimes it seems more like their house than mine to be honest.”

I said that seems kind of sad and she said, “I’ve had six children now, Steph, and this has changed my ideas on home. It used to be a place of rest for me, but now that

around has helped me to let things go, such as material possessions, and I don’t really feel nostalgic about past houses. But it’s feelings and memories that will stay with me. Growing up in different places has helped me to see that everyone has different ideas of home. It’s just how people fill the gaps created by time and age that will stay with them.

Works cited I met Barett Johnson on lower Cuba Street. He is a singer/songwriter.

Interviewed on 20 September 2011.

I work with Deborah Patterson up at Vic University. She has travelled a lot with her family and has lots of tourist type souvenirs. Interviewed on 3 October 2011.

Emma & Jeremy are partners– maybe in their mid 20s. Interviewed on 3 October 2011.

Fleetwood Mac – The best of the original Fleetwood Mac. Released 1 October 1998.

One of the most inspirational albums ever.

Melanie Thompson – flatmate/friend.

Interviewed on 1 October 2011.

OED for the definition of ‘home’. I got the idea to do this from our glossary entries done in class.

I rang my Aunty Wendy on 19 October to talk about home.

I was looking up bluebell woods on Google and North Wales Wildlife Trust popped up. It has lots of information about old forests and woodlands. www.wildlifetrust.org.uk/northwales.13 October 2011 for information on old bluebell woodlands.

I got some information on meditation of the Yoga Centre Information website http://www.yogaindailylife.org.nz/ timetable/timetable-wellington-jessie-st 25

FEATURE

Annabel Hawkins delves into the strange world of adoration which surrounds the latest tween sensation

HEADED IN THE WRONG DIRECTION?

I

n the wake of the notorious, sold-out One Direction tour, Kiwi fans are left wanting more. But maybe not what makes the five-clad band so beautiful, as the lads teeter on the edge of being, well, human.

The power pop sensations, who sold out three concerts in less than 10 minutes, were spotted in their drunken debauchery at a local Wellington bar following their show at the St James Theatre.

But the hype began even before the antics, as ‘One Directioners’ snapped up tickets, and a number of them were soon listed on TradeMe for extortionate prices.

Hearts broke all over the country as young girls missed out on seeing, and we quote, “the men of their dreams.”

Stuff.co.nz claimed that two tickets sold in the online auction for over $2000 – more than 10 times the market value of $93.50.

And who said money couldn’t buy you happiness? Parents, try telling that to your die-hard tweens who had waited outside the theatre since 8am.

Carnage lined the arrivals terminal at the 26

airport as throngs of teenage girls (not to mention the odd guy) waited for the arrival of Niall, Liam, Zayn, Harry and Louis. But to no avail, as tight security rushed them out the back door, too much disappointment.

Following the Wellington show, fans stalked the CBD, smartphones in hand, and snapping the band racing through the streets, slugging back their beers and slurring incoherent covers (apparently dissimilar to those on X Factor). Thankfully, it was after-hours, and out of the close scrutiny of their mass tweenster fan club.

But, like snapstar, they were snapped in the act.

Once leaked on to the internet, the videos went viral, with fans posting heartfelt feedback, “ASDFJKL i love you for uploading this BRB DYING” and “goD IM FUCKING CRYING THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE FDJKDFHSJKDH”.

So what exactly is it that makes them so god-damn beautiful?

+++

THE ISSUE AT HAND IS A CONTENTIOUS one. It is disconcerting that a bunch of late teens/20-year-olds are brought together by the almighty powers of Simon Cowell and packaged up in various DVDs and tactful fan paraphernalia (yes there is even an autobiography entitled Forever Young) to attract the comparatively large disposable incomes of the femme teen market. Topping the charts, even over the formidable record and iTunes sales of Adele, 1D have fast forwarded their way to their top in a firework-like fashion. But when did musical integrity get put on the back burner? Somewhere between the first and second episodes of American Idol, and other sell-your-soul shows of the like, we can only guess.

Although we are aware that the musical quality of the sell-out band is arguable, to their credit they are self-deprecatingly human. In a recent interview one of them claimed: “We’re just teenage boys. We’re not, like, robots”. And so to bed the autotune rumours …

The band members have written a grand Grsphic by Cameron Cornelius

total of three of their 13 songs currently available, addressing contemporary issues surrounding love, heartbreak, and, most pressingly, questioning the complex conceptions of beauty. In their hit, Everything About You, the word “you” is used 66 times in three-and-a-half minutes.

That’s at least 19 per minute. No wonder teenage girls think it’s all about them.

Another beautifully crafted song that helps the delusional girls out there keep their fragile hearts and minds alive and kicking is One thing. The chorus provocatively reads, “So get out, get out, get out of my head, And fall into my arms instead, I don’t, I don’t, don’t know what it is, But I need that one thing, And you’ve got that one thing.” As cringe-worthy as they are, these lyrics have an impeccable ability to stick in one’s mind.

Played on repeat, one might actually start believing it … How hypnotic.

Upon speaking to a few diehard fans, one young girl commented: “We love them because they are real.” In a kind of reverse psychology marketing stint, 1D have been branded as the ultimate collection of boysnext-door, as opposed to being put up on the purity pedestal among the likes of the Jonas Brothers, or the bad boys like Blue were supposed to be. We don’t see any purity rings. Or leather and tattoos, for that matter.

A recent quote from a band member goes: “People think that a boy band is air-grabs and being dressed in all one colour. We’re boys in a band. We’re trying to do something different from what people would think is the typical kind of boy band. We’re trying to do different kinds of music and we’re just trying to be ourselves, not squeaky clean.” It just so happens that they aren’t.

Each member of 1D plays a certain role, not dissimilar to that of the Spice Girls.

Niall, the blond-haired boy, is apparently the carefree one. However, he lacks confidence and thinks he is unattractive.

Zayn, the spunky one, is sweet, quiet, and mysterious. However, rumour has it he is really vain. Harry, the mop-haired fella, is

‘One Direction show us that sex sells. But only so far.

Thus, they teeter in the median between sexual purists and deviants. It’s a fine line to walk when even 10-year-olds are offering themselves, cherries and all.’ charming and flirty and is also attracted to older women. Liam, the one who doesn’t have any distinctive features, is the serious one who is also claimed to be very romantic.

Finally there’s Louis, who resembles Justin Bieber. He is the silliest one of all and, well, he just makes the girls chuckle.

The 1D members aren’t assigned the personality, but have been psychoanalysed by a hoard of young girls who feel they know them on a personal level. And they do. Yet such tween idolism obsession has an underbelly dark side that can be triggered by the twitter of a tweet. While on their American tour, 1D member Zayn had to fly home after the death of a family member.

Within hours, he lost 7000 followers on twitter because he had “betrayed them”.

Another 1D blog, ‘randomonedirectionfacts’, wrote: “Zayn lost 7,000 followers today!?

Because he lost his uncle?! At least he will lose fake fans than real ones. F*#@!*g sluts.” The apparent abandonment struck

‘In their hit, Everything About You, the word “you” is used 66 times in three-and-a-half minutes. That’s at least 19 per minute. No wonder teenage girls think it’s all about them.’

+++ ON AN AVID FAN BLOG ENTAILING over 1000 quirky facts about your fave boy band, ‘One direction cute facts’, fact 955 claims Zayn’s new tattoo reads, “Be true to who you are”. A soft touch to nineties grunge band Nirvana’s front man, Kurt Cobain’s “Come as you are”, this branding is not an original one. Yet, there has been a niche in the market pre-Bieber era where the remnants of *NSYNC and the like were becoming a bit stale. www.massivemagazine.org.nz

comes as a result of the music industry being in a state of licking its wounds as it tries to re-gather momentum following the global digitization phenomenon. Now it seems everyone has access to garage bands, they must have something we don’t.

For 1D it’s the perfect fusion of boyish looks, a something-for-everyone range

a raw chord with avid followers, and when he deserted them they packed up their things and clicked “un-follow” (this is like a divorce in cyber world). This delusional obsession is everywhere and in some cases questionably unhealthy. Young girls have been photographed holding signs saying: “You can mess with my innocence *winky face*”, and “One Direction, Give me an erection”. Perhaps the Education Department will have to re-think the age for pubertal health in schools.

This personalised approach to marketing

of personalities, and a nature so genuine that we can forgive them for looking like 15-year-old Asos models.

Perhaps we’re missing something. Take a look at Tiger Woods. His (not-so-private) misconduct was shortly followed by Gillette dropping his celebrity endorsement. Surely the link between his face of the brand and his unprecedented success with woman was too good an opportunity to miss for the male grooming company?

+++ ONE DIRECTION SHOW US THAT SEX sells. But only so far. Thus, they teeter in the median between sexual purists and deviants. It’s a fine line to walk when even 10-year-olds are offering themselves, cherries and all.

Under the hounding media watch of stalker fans and paparazzi, sceptics are waiting for the limelight to distort their shimmery smiles that are melting so many hearts. So it should come as no surprise that they durry and drink and lust after 30-something C-list celebs. There is something humanizing about flawed public figures. It lets us think that, perhaps, they could love us, too. Especially Harry. He’s an Aquarius. We’re compatible.

So where does this leave us? Well, if all else fails we can have our own crack at the big time when X Factor reaches our shores in the near future. Who knows – perhaps the winner could even do a high-school tour, coming to an auditorium near you.

Maybe we could even get them to play in the pyramid.

27

FEATURE

Sanjay Pharbhu deems the expo a massive success and promises a repeat dose next year.

ARMAGEDDON NOW!

P

ack your bags, get dressed up, and grab your cash – the 2012 Armageddon Expo is here.

Christchurch was the first to be hit by the Pop Culture wave, and Auckland is still to come. And on 21 and 22 April, Wellington was exposed to the powerful phenomenon at the TSB Bank Arena.

How can you survive a two-day jampacked event? With so much variety it can all be overwhelming. Here are a few tips on making the most of the event.

+++ 28

•

Visit to The Green Fairy: Armageddon had its fair share of beverages that certainly catered to everyone’s tastes.

There was the Pepsi and 7-Up at the pizza stands, the free cans of V for that extra energy boost, and a stall devoted to exotic and strange-flavored alcohol. Bottles of Cotton Candy Vodka and Absinthe RTDs were part of the spirits stall – not what you’d expect from a family event, but ID was asked for every purchase and the green (and more intense red) stuff had its own variations, including Marilyn Manson’s own recipe. Whether you’re willing to spend $176 for it is up to you.

•

•

Shoot metal aliens: The V stand had more to offer than just free cans. Their air-powered gun was large enough to fit on a tank, and gave people the opportunity to fire sponge balls at strange creatures and Kim Dotcom. Shooting at high speeds is a real test of accuracy, and assuming the balls rebound into the crowd, a test of reactions.

Are you ready to cosplay? The whole weekend was packed full of people who dedicated precious time and money into looking like their favorite characters.

Many people dressed up as anime characters (“not another Naruto” was a popular phrase) from popular video games,

and the cosplay parade and competition gave them the much-needed recognition they deserved. It is always a trill to see a female Sherlock Holmes, and to see a whole group dress up as characters from Dragon Age. Hearing The Jokers laugh sent shivers down spines and the inspiration to create a Monkey D Luffey costume is now in the mind of one MASSIVE reporter.

whatever information they can get from the animation, script – those things come together to help make the character.

Beacock: We don’t often have much time to prepare but we see the script when we show up, and we are given a little direction from the director and we go from there. It’s kind of immediate improve.

Wittenberg: Yeah, what he said [both start laughing].

‘It might amaze you to know that most voice actors don’t prepare ahead of time. They find out about stuff right before they get into the studio and they’re usually flying by the seat of their pants.’

•

Talk to an alchemist, ninja and Digimon: Voice-over actors Vic Mignogna, Dave Wittenberg, and Brian Beacock were eager to meet their fans and sign anything from plush toys to prosthetic legs. They even had time for a quick interview, talking about their characters and even giving advice in breaking into their industry:

MASSIVE: Which character did you have the most fun dubbing?

Dave Wittenberg: For me, certainly Kakashi (Witch Hunter Robin) because of all the stuff he can do. I also like the Prinnys in Disgaea – that was a lot of fun. And Henry in Digimon was great. We [points to Brian] got to do those together.

Brian Beacock: Yeah, for me too it was probably Takara from Digimon, I love Yumichika from Bleach because he is egotistical and funny, he loves everything that’s beautiful.

Vic Mignogna: That’s an unfair question because I’ve had so much fun dubbing so many characters. Edward Elric was obviously a lot of fun. He had so many different dimensions to his personality, from being very serious to being freaked out because of being called short, or whatever. But then again Tamaki from Ouran High School is a wonderful character to play, so it would be hard to pick just one because I’m one of those people who kinda enjoys voice acting, period.

+++ M: How do you prepare for each new role?

Mignogna: It might amaze you to know that most voice actors don’t prepare ahead of time. They find out about stuff right before they get into the studio and they’re usually flying by the seat of their pants.

The information the director gives them, www.massivemagazine.org.nz

+++ M: The most bizarre question an interviewer has asked you?

Wittenberg: In the moment different questions seem really bizarre. People have asked what our favorite foods are, what kind of cars we drive, what kind of shoes we buy, do you ever buy anything that’s not on sale, that kinda thing.

Beacock And sometimes you’re asked questions about the story or the plot that you really have no information about because you’re recording in such fragmented segments that you don’t know the story yet.

Mignogna: The most bizarre question, [pauses] I think the most funniest, most bizarre question I’ve ever been asked is “Do you like the Japanese or the English [dubbing] better?” Well I’m an English

about making funny voices, it’s not about imitating characters that you like – it’s about playing a role in all the different highs and lows and all the different emotions that the character would go through, being able to communicate that only through your voice, so get as much experience as an actor as you can. The second thing is that you have to live where that work is done. There are only a handful of cities where voice acting work is done, so you would need to live in one of the areas where the opportunities existed.

Beacock: Learn how to flip burgers at McDonald’s [starts to laugh]. I would say if you think you can do voices, practice a bunch of different voices and just be in shape and be ready for when the opportunity presents itself.

Wittenberg: Yes, it’s a famous saying “luck is opportunity meeting preparation”, so if it’s something you think you can do, be prepared not to make a lot of money doing it, certainly in the beginning. Have another line of work to pay your bills. But practice and do as much of it as you can. The more you do the better you become at it and when that opportunity does present itself you’ll be ready.

•

Fight with Feathers: Well, stuffed foam to be more precise. Sunday had the expo ending with a big pillow fight, from the little kids’ group (don’t worry no bears were allowed in) to the 15-years-up group, everyone armed themselves with a white pillow and unleashed furry on anything that moved. Pillows were destroyed and stolen, and with that the event was finished.

‘it’s a famous saying “luck is opportunity meeting preparation”, so if it’s something you think you can do, be prepared not to make a lot of money doing it, certainly in the beginning.’

voice actor so I would probably tend to say I like the English dubbed better than the subtitle [bursts into laughter], but yeah that’s always funny when people say “Do you like subtitles or dub?” I’m a dubber so I like the dubs. I wouldn’t have a job if no one liked the dubs [laughs].

+++ M: What are the first steps in becoming a voice-over actor?

Mignogna: Well, the first step is to develop your skills as an actor. It’s not

As well as having local comic writers, the much-loved KA ME HA ME HAAA!!!

Contest and Card tournaments, the Armageddon expo suffered from a fourhour twilight panel. It could have well been the rapture.

The Expo was a massive success and the anticipation for the Auckland Expo is already present. Fret not, Wellingtonians, for Armageddon will back again next year.

Remember these handy tips and get ready to beam down for when 2013 strikes.

29

FEATURE

Olivia Jordan looks into the New Zealand heavy metal scene and finds an incredibly raw, honest, and original sound that is parting tides where it really matters.

THE SOUND YOU HEAR IS METAL ON METAL

E

xtending far beyond the record player, metal has been a solid, never-faltering companion throughout my life. I guess you could say it is in my blood.

Growing up in Britain, the home of heavy metal, I can’t remember a time in my life without the likes of Black Sabbath and Led Zeppelin. I count my lucky stars to have seen some of the greatest metal bands in the world, old and new, those who are and those who were. The metal scene in Britain is alive, thumping, and shows no signs of slowing down.

But where does New Zealand, the place I currently call home, sit on the global metal map?

30

On the surface it is hard to see much at all. Look and listen a little deeper, though, and there is something quite special going on here.

Heavy metal is distinguished by its thick, heavy, guitar-and-drums-centered sound, characterised by highly amplified distortion and fast guitar solos.

The tale begins in 1965, Birmingham, the manufacturing heartland of England. At the age of 17, on his last day of work in a sheet metal factory, Tony Iommi lost the tips of his middle and ring finger in a machinery accident. This forced the up-and-coming musician to slack the strings on his guitar, creating Black Sabbath’s iconic heavy sound that characterises heavy metal today.

Teamed with pounding drums, resembling the grinding of machinery, metal, like its industrial surroundings, was dirty, loud and heavy. As the story goes, Iommi went on to say to Black Sabbath singer Ozzy Osbourne “Isn’t it weird that people pay money to see scary films? Why don’t we start writing scary songs?”

+++ IF METAL WAS MEANT TO SCARE, IT certainly has done its job. There have been court cases blaming it for murder and suicide, notorious stories of drug abuse, sadism, and male chauvinism.

In the 1980s it was Tipper Gore, leading

the crusade against metal, and today we have PARMM (Parents Against Reprehensible Metal Music), who hold Marilyn Manson as public enemy No 1. And though it’s certainly not holier than thou, what metal does project is freedom, confidence, and a belief that with a lot of hard work anything is possible.

on turning their back on their local fans anytime soon.

“It’s cool to see so many Beastwars t-shirts at every gig we play and we’ve got to know some really cool people,” says Nathan Hickey. “We are pretty stoked that we can count on our fans to support us, which is amazing. In return we’ll give them the best

‘By the very nature of its geographical isolation, New Zealand offers the perfect climate for a genre which has always set itself up as the underdog. To be heard, metal has to be faster, louder, and heavier.’

Here in New Zealand, Beastwars know better than anybody the meaning of hard work. If you are unfamiliar, Beastwars are a Wellington-based metal band, rapidly raising the bar for New Zealand metal. The release of their self-titled debut album last year was to phenomenal critical acclaim both here and overseas.

Band member Nathan Hickey: “I think no matter what genre of music you play in New Zealand, you have to work a little bit harder to make yourself heard.”

Yet, by the very nature of its geographical isolation, New Zealand offers the perfect climate for a genre which has always set itself up as the underdog. To be heard, metal has to be faster, louder, and heavier.

Craig Hayes, the founder of sixnoises. com and all-round metal guru, says: “New Zealand’s isolation has always had a positive and negative impact on our metal scene. It has enabled us to have a thriving DIY scene that doesn’t rely on mainstream media for support, and is self-sustaining to a degree”.

This thriving DIY scene has an intimacy, perhaps lost in large international counterparts. New Zealand’s metal scene has a heaving, dedicated army of followers.

Callum Gay, from local metal band Spook the Horses, sums it up: “Everyone knows everyone else and has probably played in bands with them, too, and people have generally heard of most bands just through shows alone, so it’s a fairly close-knit group a lot of the time”.

It is in live shows that New Zealand metal is really thriving. Wellington-based band Razorwyre have built much of their success on the fury of their live performance. They have just been signed to Germany’s Keep it True festival for next year – an impressive feat for a band yet to release their debut album.

And Beastwars, despite their impending international success, are not planning www.massivemagazine.org.nz

show we can and the best-quality product in terms of artwork, vinyl pressing, and sweetlooking t-shirts’.

No matter how loyal the local fan base, the size of the New Zealand metal scene means it has a limited ability to sustain its homegrown talent, and naturally bands have to look further afield.

+++ METAL IS AN INSULAR SCENE, AND much due to the aid of the internet, New Zealand metal is increasingly finding its feet abroad.

Callum Gay acknowledges the crucial role the internet has played in widening the scope for metal bands here. “We’re better connected with the rest of the world than we’ve ever been, at the very least in terms

of what is available to us to hear and be influenced by.”

Bands such as Beastwars, Diocletian, and Ulcerate are essentially worshipped in the international metal realm. Not only is New Zealand metal well respected, it is well sought after. You only need to look at Beastwars being tapped to open for top international acts, Kyuss, The Melvins, and High on Fire.

Craig Hayes, with his work for US websites PopMatters and Hellbound.ca, sees the rise of New Zealand metal from the front line.

“I talk to metal writers and fans from the US, Canada, South Africa, Australia, and Europe every day, and they are all aware of New Zealand bands. You can point to many New Zealand bands from across the metal spectrum that are internationally recognized as one of the leading groups in their chosen genres. You don’t get that reputation unless you deserve it”.

Nathan Hickey reflects on Beastwars’ burgeoning success: “It’s a really cool feeling to know that your sound you created here in Wellington can travel so far and be enjoyed by other people. We have been fortunate to play some great shows with amazing bands in the last year or so”.

Yet he says Beastwars still have a way to go in the international metal scene.

“Now our plan is to follow those contacts up and take a punt and see if we can make a mark overseas. In an ideal world we’ll try and get to the States this year and Europe next year, plus have a look at Australia somewhere in there too”.

The Birmingham steel factories and Black Sabbath were influential in the development of the heavy metal sound.

31

FEATURE

NZ metal giants Beastwars (right) and Wellington-based Spook the Horses (above)

For bands still building their reputation in the metal scene, the international market can still seem at an unobtainable distance, Callum Gay adds. “It’s easy to feel like you’re working blind when trying to build an audience internationally. There are plenty of bands who don’t even have that audience on their radars because it seems so difficult”.

Despite the dedication of a hardcore following, and the international success of its spawn, metal in New Zealand has yet to achieve the wider recognition at home that it is well worthy of.

Craig Haze suggests this is inevitable. “If Metallica released an album tomorrow it would definitely hit the charts, but does that mean we appreciate metal more? Probably not. And it really depends on what you mean by ‘metal’. Generic stuff always sells, but the really interesting stuff often only has niche value by virtue of its challenging nature”.

+++ 32

ARTISTICALLY, NEW ZEALAND METAL is thriving, yet if it were the case that metal is becoming increasingly appreciated at home, Craig asks, “where were Ulcerate or House of Capricorn on the charts? Both bands were critically acclimated overseas for their last albums”.

He goes on: “It’s absolutely fantastic that Beastwars hit the charts [their debut album entered the New Zealand music charts at No 15 last year], and New Zealand metal fans owe the band a huge debt for raising the New Zealand metal profile.

“But I don’t think you can point to Beastwars’ achievements and say we’ve come to appreciate New Zealand metal in general any more than usual. It’s just the case that every so often a thoroughly deserving band like Beastwars arrives on the charts, and the success they have had is down to their hard work.

“Credit goes to them, not us as being more accepting. Do we appreciate New Zealand metal more today? I don’t think so.

Will we do so tomorrow? I really hope so”.

Although metal in New Zealand may be grossly under-represented in the mainstream music media and charts, you only need to look at some of metal’s greatest bands to see the detrimental effects of commercial success.

Take Metallica, for example, which are barely recognisable as the same band that put out Kill ‘Em All in 1983 and St. Anger in 2003. And while some might argue this is progress, it’s undoubtedly a progression towards a more highly produced, commercially viable sound.

New Zealand metal is still a long shot away from a big-gun corporate presence.

It is this sense of being ‘underground’ that fosters an incredibly raw, honest, and original sound. A sound that, although it is not turning over millions of dollars, is parting tides where it really matters.

• Beastwars play with Dimmer, The King’s Arms, Auckland, Thursday May 24, and Bar Bodega, Wellington, Saturday 26 May.

COLUMNS

LOSING RESPECT, GAINING IN PROMISCUITY

ASK A GURU

Q: Hey. Hey there MASSIVE Gurus whoever you are, I am in a bind and could use some help.

So, lets take it from the top... In the past couple of months, I have slept with lots of guys, like lots and lots of guys and although I’d usually refrain from calling myself promiscuous I am gaining a reputation for it and losing respect. How do I earn my respect back from men? HELP!

10 STEPS TO BEING COOL AGAIN|

A: R-E-S-P-E-C-T, you better find out what that means to me.

That is the line you have got to use to males that want you to be a sluzza to them. Once you get caught in this trap of promiscuity it is hard to get out – but it is possible.

Firstly, define yourself. Find your chi, enter into a trance of pure bliss, this can be achieved while taking a shit, having a durry, or drinking yourself into the point of no return. Once you have found that place, you can then find out if

Similar to the back of the bus, this is where all the juicy shit is. Each month we will answer your questions via. Formspring.me/massiveguruz

being promiscuous is your thing.

Maybe it is, maybe you were put into this world to be promiscuous, to let the boys ‘tap that’.

If so, embrace it baby; you got skill in being a fly honey that is easy to get with. I love people like you.

Now, if you find that when you’re in your centre of chi, and the angels of chi and energy and yoga and rainbows and unicorns tell you that being promiscuous isn’t your thing, then baby gurl, you have made the first step into entering into the world of serious relationships.

Follow these steps to get out of the trap. Step One: Dress in attire that doesn’t say, “hey I’m easy and I want you to want me”, instead dress in a business suit when in town, cover that shit up.

Step Two: Next, find a respectable guy, not one that you pash and grind on in town, and he tries to hide his erection from you, and you wonder what

is poking your back, but a decent, respectable and rich guy, like me.

Step Three: Once you have found the one, then settle Gretel, don’t be to forward, don’t throw your cat just yet.

As long as it remains in the cage, you are keeping him eager and showing him that you aren’t one of those naughty girls.

You have now earned the respect of the male gender; be like Aretha Franklin, mmhmmm sista, and I’ll say a little prayer for you (see what I did there, I so clever).

Claydan Krivan Do you have a problem that only the Gurus can solve? Join billions of other troubled souls and message the Gurus at formspring. me/massiveguruz. Every now and then they will descend from their ivory tower atop the world’s tallest mountain to pass on advice and sage wisdom to those in need.

Ask carefully though sometimes ignorance is better then truth.

22-YEAR-OLD VIRGIN SEEKS ‘PROFESSIONAL’ HELP 1. Call anything that’s not new ‘vintage’ 2. Randomly appear offline throughout facebook chat convos 3. Take up an alty hobby such as analogue photography, knitting,volunteering at the local art gallery or ultimate frisbee.

4. Buy an iPhone 5. Stop drinking Cody’s.

Choose Cindy’s instead.

6. Date someone who buys your friends drinks in town 7. Go op-shopping, or if you refuse to do that, then go to 'Good as Gold' and spend $600 on an oversized jersey that reaches your ankles.

8. Don't give a fuck about nothing.

9. Use big words that you don't know the meaning to sound intelligent.

10. When you walk into a room, do so in slow motion.

www.massivemagazine.org.nz

Q: Hey, I’m a 22 year old male and haven’t lost my virginity. Not through being a prude, or just generally being shy, it just hasn’t happened yet. I don’t really know why.

Anyway, my mates all know, and they keep hassling me to ‘pop cherry’ with a professional lady of the night. They have even gone so far as to offer to pay for it and have been ‘shopping around’ for suitable candidates. Should I take up the offer, or keep waiting for that special someone?

A: The old V plate debate is a tricky one and presents two competing moral issues.

Issue Number One: Social Credibility. Similar concept to fear factor, how far will you go?

And two: your purity a.k.a.

What would the Jonas brothers do? So, we must work it out like a mathematical equation. Is your desire for kudos greater than your personal integrity? (Although

I hear they do a remarkably thorough and professional job, they wash your balls and shit!)

Divide this by how cool your friends actually are, and whether they’ve legitimately smashed it and banged it before, or whether they’re just up late at night masturbating to the history channel (refer edition 2).

We are then left with a figure reflective of your own personal morals. Did you grow up in a religious household? I feel obliged to notion towards virginity being a special and sacred gift that we mustn’t give away frivolously.

Not every day’s a Saturday. Not every night’s a night like this. In saying that, I’m pretty sure Santa definitely gets laid more than just Christmas Eve. Pretend its first year and you have no standards again.

Multiply your moral standpoint by how many flames you plan on knocking back this weekend, and add the amount of money

your friends are willing to pay, subtracting the hangover of tomorrow.

Multiply this by how many awkward social situations you have been in while playing ‘never have I ever’ and had to take a tactical durry break, also factoring in how many rom coms you have watched this year.

What are you left with? Because that, my friend is where the answer lies.

Should this be negative, my parting advice is this: Don’t give up faith in the universe; there are many establishments out there to help facilitate such social dilemmas. Perhaps you will have to lower your standards and increase your beer bongs before town this weekend and give yourself a chance.

The symbiotic relationship between drinking and smanging may surprise.

Annabel Hawkins

33

COLUMNS

OF FRESH HOPS AND IPA’S

BEER GUY

Daniel Hargreaves loves his hops, barely and yeast, and often writes blogs about the subject he enjoys so much.

We tricked him into writing about all things beer for MASSIVE.

It’s the talk of the town of late.

Hops are the business. These cussies of good old marijuana are seemingly the topic of conversation across the country.

If you were lucky enough to be in a good boozer in the past month you may well have spotted a number of taps sporting a ‘fresh’ or ‘wet hopped’ tag. Brewers across New Zealand have been making the best of the Nelson hop harvest, trying their utmost to take their beers to another level using the freshest, most potent hop flowers. One brewer likened it to using fresh herbs when cooking, as opposed to dried.

I like the seasonality idea behind wet-hopped beers. Sure, it’s a limited affair, but like a good wassail shin dig in cider circles, wouldn’t it be great to have this annual celebration of ol’ humulus lupulus.

Beaujolais Nouveau at Hashigo Zake the other week showcased a great array. The launch of Cone-

head and Mayday hopefully highlighted Tuatara’s new brewery intentions, with regards to more experimental limited releases.

I’m no hop-head, and big, highalcohol American-style IPAs (India pale ales) are often the last beers I’d turn to. However, there have been several resiny highlights of note this past month.

St George’s day was a patriotic affair*. Welcomed in with a searingly hot madras made with Fire Dragon Chili’s Black Taniwha, alongside possibly the best double IPA in the country – Liberty CITRA. Spice and hop bitterness just go so well together that you may think, well, “INDIA pale ale and spice totally makes sense.” However, if you look into IPA’s history (Pete Brown’s HOPS and GLORY is an absorbing account on this very subject) the matching of hop and heat is most likely a very tasty modern happy accident.

This fine experience was surpassed, however, with 8 wired’s

‘Fresh’ Hopwired. A juicy, mouthfilling beer, with waves of hop aroma and varying levels of bitterness. It’s a chewable IPA – something you can dive right into.

I didn’t think one of New Zealand and Australia’s most highly rated New World IPAs could be bettered. ‘Fresh’ Hopwired, although highly seasonal and limited, may well have done it.

If you’re a seasoned hop-pro or a newcomer to tongue-wrenching saliva-gland-gnawing bitterness, hopefully I can point you in the direction of a few ales that might satisfy your needs.

The two beers mentioned are a must: Liberty Citra is as rare as hen’s teeth. There are 3 x 750ml bottles at Thorndon New World.

Tuatara American P.A – zingy marmalade-like notes, cracking aroma. Epic Armageddon: Grapefruit beer! Last time I looked, a totally American-hopped IPA, zesty, bitter-sweet and hophead satisfying.

COURGETTE SOUP - $5.20 Serves 3 (but easily doubles to serve 5-6. The major cost in here is bread. I’d normally recommend you ‘budget’ it up and eat for dirt cheap, but I wanted to impress a mate).

This recipe is a family heirloom.

Apparently my mother got given it at a ‘recipe and tea-towel’ party before she was married. Sounds… raging…

Anyway, it’s a tasty time and super easy which is always badass.

Ingrediants

FLAT FEEDS

Sam Bonney shows students how to feed your flat for less than $20 Search $20 Flat Feeds NZ on Facebook for more cheap recipes

• 600g courgettes: 60c (99c/kg at the Wellington food markets) • 1 onion: 20c • ¼ cup of oil : 50c (I strayed from the original recipe a little here where it called for butter) • 2 cups of chicken stock: 40c • ½ tsp salt: $negligible • ½ tsp curry powder: 10c • Salt and pepper to taste: $negligible • Fancy-ass bread like a baguette: $3.20 • Butter or spread: 20c

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The method • After the 10 minutes, add the chicken stock (probably made by using 2 teaspoons of powder with 2 cups of water), the salt, and the curry powder to the veges.

• Bring to the boil and then reduce the heat a bit and simmer for 5 minutes.

• Wash your courgettes and cut the ends off. The original recipe called for 500g, so once you get rid of the ends you are just about right. I like it a little chunky, so over is good.

• Slice the courgettes in half lengthwise and then roughly chop into semi-circle pieces no wider than your pinky finger. Set aside.

• Peel your onion and chop finely.

Set aside with courgettes.

• In a large saucepan, heat your oil up over high. Once it’s hot throw the courgettes and onion in and stir. Cook for 10 minutes, stirring every minute or two.

You want some of the pieces to brown but not burn.

• Turn the heat off and get a stick blender and starting liquidising the soup right there in the pot.

(If you don’t have a stick blender you can pour the soup in batches into your normal blender or food processor.)

• Season the blended soup to taste with salt and pepper.

• Slice and butter your bread.

• Divide soup into bowls and put bread on the side. Sprinkle a teeny bit of pepper over for decoration so everyone one thinks you worked harder than you did.

PREPARING FOR BLOCKBUSTER SEASON

FILM BUFFED

Paul Berrington seems to know everything in the world about film, and wants you to as well

With Joss Whedon’s The Avengers representing the ultimate example of comic book super hero cinema, a brief look at the evolution of the super hero on screen seems appropriate. Comic book adaptations now make up a huge amount of the output of Hollywood cinema. Over the years they have been transformed from deliberately camp exercises through to politically motivated exercises in terror. So how have things changed, and where did this wave of tough guys with capes and masks come from?

Early superhero films such as The Phantom (1943), Captain America (1944), and Superman (1948) were the first versions of franchises we are now familiar with today. These were playful and often episodic affairs which have become unwatchable nonsense in the contemporary age. After this auspicious start came a quiet period where only the likes of Batman were seen in

campy television shows with men dressed in funny tights.

With the rise of fantasy films in the mid-to-late 70s and the success of Star Wars (1977) came the beginning of the modern super hero film.

Richard Donner’s Superman (1978) set in motion an interest in comic book adaptions as adult entertainment by updating the playfulness of earlier comic book adaptions into something spectacular and explosive, matching apocalyptic plotting to glorious new techniques in special effects. These themes continued throughout the 80s and 90s with hugely successful films such as Tim Burton’s Batman (1989) and Warren Beatty’s Dick Tracy (1990). Suddenly, the floodgates were open. Marvel Comics’ rise to prominence started with Blade (1998), part of a darker series of films to emerge around that time, including Spawn (1997) and The Crow (1994).

Since then we have seen a multitude of comic book heroes on screen.

Spider-Man, Batman and X-Men series became some of biggest grossing films of all, and finding audiences that identified with broken moral codes such as Nolans Batman. Other films, such as Watchmen (2009) and Kick-Ass (2010) subverted the comic book hero into a failed and frustrated member of society – an everyday man with everyday problems.

Enter 2012, and every other Hollywood release is a comic book adaption featuring a range of super heroes whose identity has become as confused as the times.

So why is this? Are the super heroes of film a reflection of the ideologies of their contemporary realities?

Well, put simply, yes. The reason being that they reflect society’s ‘good v evil’ narrative, which in 2012 is more complex than ever before

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35

REVIEWS

THE AVENGERS Paul Berrington

FILM

2012

Directed by Joss Whedon Produced by Kevin Feige Staring Samuel L. Jackson, Robert Downey Jr, Scarlett Johansson, Mark Ruffalo, Chris Evans, Jeremy Renner, Chris Hemsworth

After a lengthy intro which sets up the rather simple plot, The Avengers settles into a surprisingly inspired take on the Marvel universe from Buffy the Vampire Slayer creator Joss Whedon.

Packed with a cast of superstars and coming on the back of a series of Marvel adaptations that have been hit and miss, there are plenty of reasons why this film might have ended up a disaster.

Yet despite some occasionally dodgy CGI and lack of detailed storyline, this is a hugely enjoyable romp filled with tongue-incheek dialogue and often amazing spectacle.

Bad guy catches a ride through some sort of intergalactic transport system He then steals the ‘Tasseract’, a source of infinite power being hidden by S.H.I.E.L.D., a secretive govern-

ment department lead by Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson). The good guys re-form and hatch a plan for recapturing the artifact and, of course, saving the planet.

All the while, an alien army waits to invade.

Beyond this fairly simple premise not much else really happens, apart from the occasional twist and succession chase and battle scenes. Surprisingly, this skeletal plotting doesn’t really hinder Whedon’s approach to the film, in which he relies heavily on his flair for dialogue – his Tony Stark/Ironman (Robert Downey Jr) has more than more than his share of great lines – and creates some great scenes between the acting talent on screen. He is helped by some fine performances, with Tom Hiddleston creepily effective as bad guy Loki, while

Mark Ruffalo brings a quirky finesse to the role of Bruce Banner/ The Hulk.

As a director, this is where Whedon excels, working with his actors to make their cohesion all the more logical. This is done through a series of scenes in the middle of the film, set on a hovercarrier, in which each identity is given careful and often very funny characterisation.

If the finale is slightly messy in some ways, it is those earlier scenes that help it to remain intense, partly because you actually care about the outcome. None of lead characters.

The Avengers is exactly what you want from blockbuster fare and is comparable to J.J. Abrams version of Star Trek in the way it revels in its silliness and entertains like a rollercoaster.

TYLER, THE CREATOR - GOBLIN Roy McGrath

ALBUM 2011 Label XL Produced by Tyler, The Creator, Left Brain

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For those of you who aren’t familiar with Tyler, he’s the lurking, growling, obscene MC from American indie-rap collective Odd Future Wolf Gang Kill Them All. Over the past year he has put plenty of work into forging himself a reputation as an offensive and abrasive artist. He goes to great lengths to alienate people, from his music through his repeated use of vulgar and sadistic lyrics and exploration of dark, despicable themes.

In Goblin we see much hasn’t changed since Bastard. Tyler continues to chase the white rabbit into a twisted and evil wonderland as he explores his deepest and most dastardly thoughts.

The record has some stand-out tracks in Transylvania, She, Tron Cat, Sandwitches, and the excellent single (and even better video)

Yonkers. These tracks work as standalone songs and also add necessary rich colours to the palette of the record. Other tracks, such as Radicals, have some great moments (i.e. the second verse), but are at times let down by too much filler.

There’s a lot to like about this record, and, depending on whether you can get over the hurdle of hearing songs that mock (rather than “deal with”) rape and sexual violence, there’s a lot you can love about it. It has some excellent, interesting, and brave production that steers away from convention, and Tyler has some brilliant, infectious wordplay.

Tyler also mostly steers clear of lyrical convention and creates some hopping/skipping rhyme schemes that have beautiful flow.

But at times, his lyrics appear

thoughtless and rushed. In the worst cases they can sound petulant and shallow – the rap equivalent of a kid throwing a tantrum in Westfield.

His intent is arguable, but you can read this record as being subversive to the increasingly broad and irrelevant mainstream rap available today. Depending on how you see/hear Tyler you could go so far as to argue that he’s the necessary and inevitable counter-culture reaction to, say, Kanye West; hip-hop’s version of The Comedian from Watchmen.

A maniacal parody of everything he’s come to despise. This is one way he’s viewed by those who his music resonates with. To those he alienates, he is a crude tasteless brat. Goblin takes another confident step towards reinforcing these dual images.

UNIT 13 Matt Shand

GAME 2012 Platform PSVITA

Unit 13 fills a missing component of the PSVITA while showcasing the capabilities the console has to offer and showing that some reviewers (this magazine included) may have been a bit quick to judge the console.

It avoids the mistakes of previous launch titles and just keeps things simple. It uses the dual thumb sticks as intended (for smooth aiming/looking) and doesn’t try to use the PSVITA camera as ‘sniper scope’.

The touch screen was also well integrated. For menus it acts as a tocuh pad and during action sequences the edges of the screen are used as contextual buttons.

Grenades, vaulting cover, and switching to FPS mode are all just on the side of the screen and easily hit with a thumb keeping the action tight.

But enough of features, let’s talk about the game itself.

Unit 13 is a third-person shooter, plain and simple. It doesn’t break convention, but it is a very polished and well presented hand-held shooter. Players choose from an array of terrorist-filled missions, ranging from stealth, to murdering everything on screen. There is no story line, opting instead for a token ‘briefing’ at the start of each mission.

Replay value is added through the tried and true feature of video games, highs scores. Points are generally awarded for the parameters of each mission. Stealth missions reward undetection, where a speed missions reward for time.

Bonus points are also awarded to each character’s skill-set. The Gunner gets points for riddling enemies with multiple shots, the

sniper gets credit for long-range shots and so on.

The more points you get the more missions you unlock and the more bragging rights you get in the online features. It also adds a real sense of replay to the game, and experimenting with different operatives in each mission can be fun.

Where Unit 13 really succeeds is its recognition of the target audience, and how the target audience will play the game. As the PSVITA is designed as an on-thego gaming console, the audiences use of the console will be quite stop/start. Unit 13 is bite-sized action. The lack of story is a slight limitation of the game, but shooters rarely sport rich storylines in any case. At least this one was honest about it.

And it’s a lot of fun.

Hot air roasting is the difference If there is one thing discerning coffee drinkers expect it is consistency of flavour. Roasting with expertise and precision each and every roast is fundamental to achieving exceptional flavour.

Many years ago in our quest for roasting perfection Allpress introduced hot-air roasting technology, a method where beans roast evenly in a stream of hot air with no risk of scorching or tainting. Roasting this way consistently produces cleaner, sweeter tasting coffee.

When you spend a great deal of time finding the best coffee you want to roast it with the best technology and care.

Brewing at Tussock and Museum Cafés

www.massivemagazine.org.nz

37

COMIC

LOSE!

you lose! you lose! you lose! you lose! you lose! you lose!

Sir

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LANCE CORPORAL!!

It is called a DOOR, you knock IT, I OPEN IT.

from SIR YES SIR SIR! Received this bo Tower Brick’s sir. Some kind of mumsir! tue jumbo about a dodgy looking sta

A WAR RELIC. If found please return to the river statue in the valley of OMM. STOLEN CASH REWARD

Lance Corporal Please round up the troops, get their gear ready, and also...

CONTINUED next month...

www.massivemagazine.org.nz

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© Lovatts Publications

ACROSS

1. Vancouver is there 4. Meet (demands) 7. Fruit farmer 10. Bare-skin philosophy 13. Tormentor 15. Maiming 17. Football arbiters 19. Wild animal 21. Long tale 23. Thaw out 25. Secret (phone number) 28. Conforming, ... the line 29. French motor race city (2,4) 30. Fly trap 32. Appoints 36. Fabric colorant 37. Holiday house 38. Cow mammary gland 40. Public profile 42. Florida resort 44. Central America’s Costa ...

45. Vehicular flow 46. Dull pain 47. Whichever 49. Camouflage colour 51. Booth 40

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53. Travel by bike 54. Join by fusion 55. Interrupting cough 56. Fashionable 57. Opportune 60. Recommenced 65. Divided 66. Liquorice-flavoured seed 68. Whiskey grain 69. Paper hanky 71. Price labels 72. Digestive fluid 73. Conditional release 76. Possesses 78. Pirate sword 83. Lowest depth 85. Buoyancy supports (4,5) 88. Ornamental shoulder-piece 90. Touch at one end 91. Tackle, fishing ...

92. Court order 93. Apiece 96. String instrument 97. Planets’ orbiting bands 98. In itself, ... se 99. Flans

100. Motorists’ cinema (5-2) 101. Europe’s tallest volcano 102. Steam burn 103. Recycle 105. Ooze 107. Fear 108. Promos 110. Backer 114. And not 116. Cold 117. Summon with a gesture 119. Place in jeopardy 122. Records 125. Small spots 127. Intimate (feelings) 130. Unprocessed minerals 131. Unswerving 132. Blasting (mine pit) 133. Oily 134. Groaned 135. Books 136. Afternoon nap

DOWN

1. Root vegetable 2. Egyptian snakes 3. Organise 4. More independent 5. Adult nit 6. Decoy 7. Area around teeth 8. Spin 9. Highways 10. Gullibly 11. Common pets 12. Parrots 14. Does as one’s told 16. About-face (1-4) 18. Social parasite 20. Against 22. Snow/land slides 23. Unguarded 24. Watched 26. Tiny amount 27. Judged 31. Jumped (of bronco) 32. Painters 33. Height 34. Blunders 35. School nurse’s room 36. Adorned, ... out 37. Steer off course 39. Showy flower 41. Open wounds 43. Iced confection (3,5) 48. Beside (4,2) 50. Yemen port 52. Porridge flake 54. V-shaped block 58. Bell chimes 59. Alcove 61. Decree 62. Horse’s gait 63. Sum up 64. Aviator 65. Motivating speeches (3,5) 67. Threat, do it or ...!

69. Nepal’s neighbour 70. Two-seater lounge 74. Traffic circle 75. Act as intermediary 77. Wears away 79. Hopeless 80. Novice 81. Cut (wood) 82. Boosted suddenly 84. Sad movie (4-6) 85. Control sticks 86. To & ...

87. Sexual drive 89. Hear, ... to 94. Group of livestock 95. News flash 98. Soldiers’ chaplains 104. Atop 106. Unbutton 109. Ruling family 111. Risk 112. Advertising-light gas 113. Female reproductive organ 115. Gets 116. Paling 118. Mafia, Cosa ...

120. Wake-up clock 121. Pink-fleshed tropical fruit 123. Rub until sore 124. Single entities 126. Fiji’s capital 128. Geek 129. Unspoilt paradise 130. Storybook monster

ConneCting you to a world of opportunity

alumni relations

Congratulations april saw the first graduation ceremonies for the year, congratulations and welcome. for those of you who have graduated you join a network of over a hundred thousand (past students) alumni in 143 countries around the world. may, will see more graduates join this community with ceremonies being held in manawatu and wellington.

While you are studying at Massey we encourage you to get connected by joining one of our virtual networks:online Community https://alumnionline.massey.ac.nz Facebook (keyword massey alumni) LinkedIn (group massey alumni & friends)

massey graduation gift ideas looking for a graduation memento, some cool massey gear to wear, or just something to remember your time with us? we have a huge range of memorabilia, gifts and apparel to suit everyone.

WANTS YOU

’Class of 2012’ t-shirt only $15 before 31 may 2012

Does not include P&H on online orders. Usually $25RRP

william bear or fergus ram from $45 laptop sleeve $30.00 business Card holder $25

ContaCt alumni relations call us on 06 350 5865 or alumni@massey.ac.nz shop online at http://alumnishop.massey.ac.nz visit one of our stores Manawatu Shop opp Dining Hall Wellington Student Central Albany UniMart & Pharmacy @ Student Amenities www.massivemagazine.org.nz