Massive: Issue 01 'Fresh' by Massive Magazine

Co editorial

Stream is fucked. Let's use Tumblr instead

With enrolments and funding declining left and right for Massey, it's no wonder their tech is constantly breaking. They've probably scrapped the IT team.

The proof is in the pudding.

Last month, the student portal pulled a major prank on students, emailing them that they failed to enrol for courses they were well and truly enrolled in.

In June last year, the university was forced to turn off cheating monitoring on online exams. At least 150 student’s had gateway errors, a microphone access error, and a java script issue. Students even risked taking their test under another student’s name and ID.

Freshers, welcome to the University of Tech Fuckups, formally known as Massey University. Renowned for its bugs, scam emails, and website crashes. What should be on your 2025 bingo card? The Stream site will break many... many times.

But in the spirit of a New Year, new Massey, I suggest the university scrapes the whole Stream site. And instead, use Tumblr.

Stream is where students go to manage their classes, hand in assignments, read material, contact lecturers, and probably more but it's so hard to navigate I wouldn't know.

If you actually manage to log in, you'll often find a note at the top of the site's page reading something like:

Note: Stream will be down for repairs when your biggest assignment is due

Note: Need to contact a lecturer? Well too bad cause Stream ain't gonna send it

Note: Assignments handed in at 11:59pm won't upload until 12:14pm (soz not soz)

In May, students were accused of using AI in assignments, despite claiming they'd never used it (heavy on the 'claiming').

And finally, in November 2023 the university was forced to reset all students’ account passwords after a phishing email redirected students to a fake website and requested their login details.

But if the university were to use Tumblr, bliss would ensue. Teachers could create their own blogs for classes, and post reading resources, class times, and selfies all in the same place. How would students' hand in assignments? Just hit up the DMs.

Or, to reverse the power dynamic, each student could create their own Tumblr blog and make all their teachers hit follow. Students could post their assignments to their blog, for their dedicated followers (lecturers) to see.

And as Tumblr continues making a comeback this year, Freshers born in 2005 and 2006 (ew) need to experience the beauty of Tumblr.

So come on Massey, don't rob Freshers of a cultural reset.

—Love, Sammy.

Massive is largely funded by Te Tira Ahu Pae and the student services levy, however, remains editorially independent.

Disclaimer: The views presented within this publication do not necessarily represent the views of the editor.

If unsatisfied with the response, complaints should be made to the NZ Media Council info@mediacouncil.org.nz complaints

Those with a complaint towards the publication should first complain in writing to the editor editor@massivemagazine.org.nz

Elections begin for Massey's student association following

Competitive pre-Vet selection process gains another test

Nightlife safety sees little change while Wellington student's fear town

"Truly amazing": Massey students return from month long scholarship trip to Colombia

Words by Sammy Carter • she/her

Behind the office walls of a student association melt down

Massey's student association is the first to have several resignations, complaints of a toxic culture, a manager suspended, complete loss of funding, and miraculous refunding all in the span of six months. What went wrong? Sammy Carter investigates.

Astudent association is defunded, Facebook fights ensue, staff leave in droves, two sides fight like Romeo and Juliet — But was it for the love of students or their own egos?

The national student association for Massey, Te Tira Ahu Pae, is funded by students to provide services like clubs, events, advocacy, and media like Massive. But despite being ‘independent’ from the university, when things got too rogue big brother stepped in.

Right now, elections and appointments have begun for new representatives. But just a few months ago in October, Te Tira Ahu Pae was on the chopping block.

Upon asking both parties — Massey University and Te Tira Ahu Pae — for interviews about what went wrong, I'm rejected and instead sent written statements.

Back in August, very little was in the public eye. However, a 210-page OIA obtained by students reveals email exchanges between university and Te Tira Ahu Pae staff from August to October.

In August, the university accused the board of lacking transparency with students, and inaccurate record keeping among other things. Massey asked board members to “step down from their board positions and allow an interim emergency governance committee to be established”. However, the board denied the allegations and refused to step down.

Massey wanted to tell students what was happening in September, however, the association strongly requested they not.

A student rep even threatened taking legal action, stating, “The allegations made in your email to the student representatives appear to have not been thoroughly investigated ... If these claims were to be passed on to the student body in their current state, I would have no doubt that the association would be considering legal action regarding defamation.”

While names are redacted in the emails, job titles are not. One particular email appears to be from the chair of the board, who was, and still is, general president Hennessey Wilson.

The email addresses complaints made against Wilson — those of which included his own board members describing his behaviour as ‘appalling’ and an abuse of power.

The email states a hefty promise: "I understand there are concerning allegations and if these complaints are found to have any merit whatsoever I will immediately step down as chair."

As Wilson remains president and chair of the board today, Massive asked if there was any merit to the allegations.

While he did not answer this question, he says, “Following the events of 2024 we acknowledge that our current representation structure is not fit for purpose.”

“In the meantime, we will be running elections under our current structure to ensure we can continue to provide independent student voice”.

Back in October, the association cancelled their elections. In a statement they admitted, “Regrettably we have struggled to keep the student body informed as we have navigated the issues of this year, choosing rather to update the students only when we had come to conclusions or ensured all of our ‘ducks were in a row’.”

Just ten days later on October 18th, an email to Te Tira Ahu Pae staff (including us at Massive) announced that the university would not be entering into a funding agreement for 2025. This was news to us.

Students were notified that same day, but it didn't spark much of a reaction. Particularly compared to those working within Te Tira Ahu Pae.

Association reps and staff began using the Massey Confessions Facebook page as their battle ground. They fired shots at each other behind a curtain of anonymity, calling themselves ‘rep mole’, ‘ex rep with all the secrets’, and ‘pissed off ex-staff-member'.

Two weeks after the announcement, student rep Micah Geringer spoke to Radio New Zealand in a live interview, saying Massey was taking away independent student advocacy.

Geringer was asked: “Do you feel like you’re being almost silenced?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I’d say that,” he responded.

Geringer told RNZ the association would not be cooperating with the takeover — suggesting it would try and fund itself.

The association then created a petition against the defunding, but with 542 signatures it didn’t seem to have much impact.

That’s not to say Massey students can’t put up a fight when they want to. In comparison, a petition last year to stop the university using

Tere McGonagle-Daily, deputy vice chancellor tells Massive that the association did not cooperate.

He says, “Some fixed term positions had ended and we approached those staff about working for the university. We also spoke with permanent staff and Te Tira Ahu Pae management about our desire for a managed transition process, but no agreement was reached on this matter.”

This attitude worked in Te Tira Ahu Pae’s favour, as it seemingly forced the university to negotiate a funding agreement. But not without conditions.

A Massey staff member would become the manager of Te Tira Ahu Pae. McGonagle-Daily says, “A Massey University staff member has been seconded to the role of acting general manager of Te Tira Ahu Pae for a fixed period to support the provision of services to students. He has previously been a General Manager for MAWSA and is very familiar with the management of student associations.”

The man he describes is James Collings, who was previously Massey’s transition and support manager. Ten years ago, he was the manager of MAWSA, the Wellington student association prior to amalgamation.

The parties also agreed that a ‘caretaker’ board would be in place until elections are done. And likely by the end of this year, a ‘student representation restructuring working group’ will build a new representation model.

Massive’s line of questioning to Massey often referred to the defunding as a ‘takeover’, however, McGonagle-Daily rejected this title. “Massey did not propose to ‘take over’ Te Tira Ahu Pae. They are a separate entity to the university. There was never any suggestion of taking over Te Tira Ahu Pae assets or staff.”

With elections started, Massive asked McGonagle-Daily: Has the university gained confidence in Te Tira Ahu Pae governance?

The Church of ART SCĦOOL Awaits...

Come pray at the altar of the It-Girl, be baptised in aesthetics, and drown in an identity of your own creation…

The first time I walked into Massey's Art school I didn’t see the interiors of a university — I saw the heart of a church.

I settled into the pews among my fellow believers as Bibles labelled ‘project briefs’ were passed around. The windows were stained glass, telling stories of our Makers. I saw the birth of Yves Saint Laurent in Algeria and the tragic death of Diane Arbus in New York. But as I approached my canvas, ready to worship, I was confronted with something unforeseen: My own reflection.

In art school, your identity can matter just as much — if not more — than your work. The pressure starting out here is paramount. On my first day, I wore a $500 see-through Jean Paul Gaultier t-shirt. I didn’t bring a pen. Awkward whispered introductions and quick glares of aesthetic judgements echoed and bounced off the walls of the old War Museum. I felt that in every sentence I spoke that first week I was curating a brand.

It turns out I was.

What was worse than feeling watched was how I was watching others. My eyes peered into other people's worlds, trying to find rawness in their own performance. When you spend so much time analysing and critiquing how things look, your Nikon D850 can quickly turn into a selfie camera. Everyone had a spy scanner behind their retina, silently assessing the subject of every interaction.

LESBIAN CARABINER DETECTED = ACCEPTED. BREATHA BUTTON UP DETECTED = REJECTED.

Although the Art and Design majors are a hotbed for this aesthetic analysis, we can’t solely blame our creative passions. When once we were worshipping gods and totems, we now bow to micro-trends and it-girls. Just as the Bible refers to the Christian God as the 'Maker', a simple Google search of ‘Charli XCX Grammy performance 2025’ reveals who our Makers are today.

Artists are no longer just making art — they’re expected to make society. As Charli XCX says on TikTok channel Subwaytakes: “Being an artist is so much more than making music, it is about creating a world.”

But could those of us who get to judge these worlds be the real Makers?

Charli can create Brat, but we’re the ones who detect, accept, or reject. This teaspoon of freewill is empowering at first — until it becomes anxiety inducing when you remember what you study.

Right now, I’m just one of the many Makers. But what happens if the goal is achieved? If we reach esteemed artist status, do we lose this power? Or is the dream just a carrot dangling in front of the treadmill we’re running on? This would be more productive than letting my $8 Massey Gym subscription go to waste.

Heading into my third year, I consider the power of aesthetics within the Church of Art School. I feel compassion for my fresher self, wide eyed and stirred by the idea of a new life. They chased who they wanted to be. Blasé, yet engaging, but also effortlessly original. They would have a meticulously curated aesthetic to match this perfect personality. But I never found this person inside my soul. I couldn’t carve them out of the bones I had.

While I let go of the internal makeup of them, the external was much harder to shake.

Dipping brushes into eyeshadows more often than paints can lead you down a path of self-surveillance and failed assignments. It’s important for us to learn how to separate the ways we analyse art from the way you analyse style. My work should speak for me, not my fuck-ass-bob.

I love designers who dress like they couldn’t care less about clothes. Alexander Wang is almost exclusively seen wearing a plain black T-shirt and black jeans, yet he creates garments with unhinged silhouettes and bold textures. Watching him sprint out after Kendall Jenner and Bella Hadid at his glamorous SS18 show only reinforced the separation between his art and his personal style.

When your craft is so highly respected, people seem to leave your closet alone.

As I walk around this Church, I adore the amount of expression I witness. Light pours in rays through the ceiling of Wellington's Pyramid, hitting the bleach blonde eyebrows and Hysteric Glamour baby tees adorning students brazenly wandering to their studios. Artists and designers alike are laid out on the grass outside Tussock Café, with a distinct sense of unity when everyone's in their full regalia.

But here, physical appearance, creative output, and identity are so intimately linked in a way which means you can’t cultivate one without the others. Ask yourself, what are you putting your creative energy into?

Before we are Ballet-core, Grunge, or Whimsigoth, we are artists — dare I say Makers.

“Hello, Palmerstonians!”

CONTENT WARNING: Mentions of substance abuse

City girl split between Welly beginnings and Palmy future

“So, this is going to sound really dumb, but there are no pigeons in Palmy. And without pigeons, it’s just... dead.”

As students flock to Massey Palmerston North this week, scaring away the pigeons, second year student Alisha* leaves behind memories of her first year...

A 30-day liquor ban from halls, rejection in the form of racism, trading docs for red bands, raspberry cruisers for Cody’s, and occasionally working on her social work degree.

Born and raised in Wellington’s Island Bay, and having never seen a cow before in her life, Alisha’s decision to study at the Manawatū campus raised some eyebrows. But like a 5ft Hannah Montana, Alisha, shed her city wig and heaved her pink suitcase down to the land of no. 8 wire and loopy looking sheep.

“Hello, Palmerstonians!”, she exclaimed, ready to immerse herself in the rich landscape of not just one, but two clubs.

Alisha moved from Wellington last year into Tōtara Hall — a hall filled mostly with aviation students. She recalls guys jerking off in the shower and regularly coming home to find strangers in her bed.

Alisha says that Palmy’s derelict climate feels like the Truman Show. “It feels like they put us in a box to see what humans can do with nothing and see if they survive”, she laughs. She felt under surveillance, living in one tiny space for both studying and drinking.

The air sharpens as the subject of alcohol arises. In high school, Alisha rushed into drinking, trying to keep up with her older brother. It didn’t stop when she got to halls.

“I then went a bit cray when I went into halls. I liked how happy drinking made me.”

She says drinking became a main character trait for her, and this, along with her Wellington beginnings, made her feel alienated.

“People would say that they knew I was from Wellington because of the way I dressed and I just drunk a lot more than others.”

“I felt like a little kid in primary school just wanting to be cool again”.

The weight of unfamiliarity in Palmerston North felt heavy, and Alisha faced grueling homesickness. Sometimes, to the point of delusion.

“There was a rowboat in our common room and one night I was so fucked up and tried rowing the boat trying to get home”.

I try not to crack a smile. I ask, “Do you mean, back to Wellington?”. As serious as the conversation was, the thought of Alisha wailing in a stationary rowboat sanctioned a few giggles.

Alisha says her homesickness also came from the alienation of being a person of colour. She explains that residents seemed to have limited experiences with different cultures.

“It was like they never had met a poor brown person before.”

She takes a long sigh, “I think it’s the environment they grew up in. In Wellington we are so lucky that there are brown and queer people. Then they go to Palmy, and people think they’re freaks.”

Among the bad eggs, Alisha found a sense of community. On a particularly bad night when she was planning to run away to Wellington, her hall neighbours took turns sleeping by her side. “My neighbours were my saving grace,” she says.

A turning point was Alisha’s 30-day liquor ban.

The Alcohol Consumption Policy for Massey Halls has strict rules, like prohibiting students from having spirits like vodka or tequila, as well as playing drinking games. The policy also permits students from drinking during study breaks and exam periods.

“It was like they never had met a poor brownbefore.”person

The halls also may confiscate alcohol if concerns for safety arise. Students showing signs of excessive drinking can also be referred to Massey Health and Counselling Centre. In serious cases, parents or guardians may be contacted.

Alisha appreciated the help the university gave her. “As much as I would hate to admit it, the system was really good at helping me.”

This year, well-being advisors are hosting ‘A Night to Remember’, an event for new students across Wellington, Auckland and Palmerston North campuses, promoting safe partying, STI prevention, sexual health and consent.

Luckily, Alisha wasn’t kicked out of the halls or fined for her drinking, but she was strongly encouraged to find better habits.

“In Wellington, you can just do stupid sober things, but in Palmy you really must seek those things out. I think that’s why I fell into drinking.”

As the conversation comes to a close, I ask her what she wants from this next year in Palmy.

She beams at me, “I’m doing a sober year”, she lets out a little scream, “it’s not going to be easy but it’s going to be better to experience Palmy sober and see if it’s that bad”.

*Name changed for anonymity

The Pinnacle of my Sex Life

My ex and I had sex in some fun places: The boot of a car, the backseat of the same car, the top bunk of a single size bed, the beach, under the house and in the hallway of our Christian friend’s family home. But the best of all was in a fully booked tramping hut.

Maybe it was the fear of being caught that made it more exhilarating, or her enjoyment of being in small, confined places — which referenced our mutual love of caving, but somehow, still applied to our sex life.

On this particular night, the hut was packed to the rafters with 50 fellow trampers and a school camp. We’d been kissing for about an hour, before beginning something a little more risky for a family friendly environment. While our best friend was sleeping a foot away, my girlfriend slipped her hands under my top.

This was the furthest we’d gone in our relationship at the time, and what a time to do it! Her hand over my mouth, simultaneously trying to make me come, inside and on top of sleeping bags (notorious for rustling) while trying not wake the entire hut. It’s no easy feat, but if anyone can do it, it’s lesbians. It was so HOT, and I have no shame in admitting I would do it again.

We’d fucked late enough in the night that it was unlikely anyone heard a peep... not even the child we later realised was sleeping in the bunk directly opposite. Although, I still have no idea if our friends knew what was going down a mere 30 centimetres away while they slept.

Not a single sleeping bag rustled that night, and it’s my proudest achievement in the bedroom to date.

heyyy... make an anonymous submission at massivemagazine.org.nz/sexcapades

Fergus the Ram is Massey University's long-time mascot. He is also a sex god, alpha ram and horned up fuckboy

HOROSCOPES

OROSCOPES

CANCER

You're going to meet many new faces this week, so be on the lookout for rats. Trust your psychic abilities, not people. Somebody in particular will show you they can be trusted

Ever feel like everyone in the room is watching you? It’s because they are. Wear a cute outfit and make the most of this first week of university. Put on that cheetah print G-string because we

CAPRICORN

You like climbing to the top, but it’s not going to happen all in your first week. Use that Capricorn perseverance and work your way up slowly. Try not to push others off the ladder while you’re at it.

VIRGO

I know you want everything

AQUARIUS

I know you’re busy planning revolutions right now, but no one wants to hear about it while they’re drinking. Wait until O-Week fever has worn off before you try to change the world.

A mysterious stranger may enter your life this week — but let’s be real, it’s probably just your Uber Eats driver. Love is in the air, but so is pollen, so maybe take an antihistamine before chasing romance.